Episode 504: Why We Avoid Connection (Even When We Crave It)

We live in a world where people are more digitally connected than ever, yet loneliness remains incredibly common. Most of us move through daily life surrounded by strangers while following an unspoken rule: don’t engage. In this episode, we’re exploring why humans are so socially cautious, but also why even brief conversations with strangers can meaningfully improve our happiness, health, and sense of connection.

My guest is Nicholas Epley,  the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavior Science, and Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research, at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He is the author of Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want. His latest book is A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

• Why are conversations with strangers usually better than we expect?
• Do people really want to be left alone in public?
• Why do small moments of connection matter so much?
• How has technology changed everyday social interaction?
• For people who want to be a little more social, what’s a good starting point?

You can visit Nicholas’ website to learn more about his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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