Is kink just about whips and chains? Is it always about sex? Is everyone who’s into kink working through some type of trauma? In today’s show, we’re diving into the science of BDSM and debunking common myths about it. We’ll unpack what kink really looks like in practice, how consent and trust are at its core, and what it is that really draws people to BDSM in the first place.

I am joined by Alicia Walker [https://www.missouristate.edu/sag/sociology/profile-display.aspx?p=AliciaWalker] and Arielle Kuperberg [https://sites.google.com/site/arielletk/home]. Alicia is an associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University and the author of The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife [https://amzn.to/4n7Ul91] as well as Chasing Masculinity: Men, Validation, and Infidelity [https://amzn.to/4g0UQiO]. Arielle is an associate professor of sociology at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Together, they are co-authors of the new book Bound by BDSM: Unexpected lessons for building a happier life [https://amzn.to/4lUZW1w].

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

 * What are some of the biggest things people get wrong about kink and BDSM?
 * What might people get out of BDSM besides (or in addition to) sexual fulfillment?
 * How do people typically find their way into BDSM?
 * What’s the role of community in BDSM?
 * Why is kink more prevalent in among LGBTQ+ persons?

You can click here to order [https://amzn.to/4lUZW1w] Alicia and Arielle’s new book.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. [http://speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology]

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com [https://brooklynbedding.com/] and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide. 

Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance down there and increase lubrication. Visit soakingwet.com [https://vb.health/products/soaking-wet/] and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here  [https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/]for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex], Twitter [https://twitter.com/JustinLehmiller], or Bluesky [https://bsky.app/profile/justinlehmiller.bsky.social] to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm8JQt7it3re8SypKf-mT2Q] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/].

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-and-psychology-podcast/id1505460817], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/6DCIGjOUaenoKdY71N7NqI], Google [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubGVobWlsbGVyLmNvbS9wb2RjYXN0P2Zvcm1hdD1yc3M?hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiomerUw8vrAhXvAJ0JHb06CjgQ4aUDegQIARAC], or 

Episode 428: What People Get Wrong About BDSM

The sex education we have in the United States today isn’t really working. And, unfortunately, it’s only set to get worse as a growing number of states are pushing to restrict what students can learn in these classes. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about why it has been so difficult to make sex ed better and what we can actually do to change it.

I’m joined once again by Margaret Grace Myers [https://www.margaretgracemyers.com/], a writer, researcher, educator, and former bookseller based in Maine. She is the author of the new book The Fight For Sex Ed: The Century Long Battle Between Truth and Doctrine. [https://amzn.to/4fPEB8e]

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

 * How many US states today require that students receive sex education?
 * Why don’t we have a federal mandate for sex ed in the US?
 * What can we do to improve sex ed in our own communities?
 * What can we learn from other countries that are getting sex ed right?
 * Why do we need to stop thinking about sex education as a one-time talk or course?

You can check out Margaret’s website [https://www.margaretgracemyers.com/] to learn more about her book.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. [http://speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology]

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated [https://beducate.me/hot-summer]! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer 

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com [http://sexualhealthalliance.com/] and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium [https://events.iu.edu/kinsey/event/2025-kisis-sex-and-aging], [https://events.iu.edu/kinsey/event/the-new-science-of-sexual-fantasies] which will take place on October 4, 2025.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here  [https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/]for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex], Twitter [https://twitter.com/JustinLehmiller], or Bluesky [https://bsky.app/profile/justinlehmiller.bsky.social] to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm8JQt7it3re8SypKf-mT2Q] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/].

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-and-psychology-podcast/id1505460817], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/6DCIGjOUaenoKdY71N7NqI], 

Episode 427: How We Can Make Sex Education Better

Sex education is highly controversial. Last year alone, 27 US states introduced bills aimed at restricting sex ed! However, this fight over what sex ed should cover (and whether it should even be taught at all) is nothing new. We’ve been having the same fights about sex ed for over a century, and that’s a big part of the reason why modern sex education still sucks.

I’m joined today by Margaret Grace Myers [https://www.margaretgracemyers.com/], a writer, researcher, educator, and former bookseller based in Maine. She is the author of the new book The Fight For Sex Ed: The Century Long Battle Between Truth and Doctrine. [https://amzn.to/4fPEB8e]

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

 * Why do we keep having the same arguments about sex ed?
 * What really holding sex education back?
 * How did abstinence become such a dominant part of sex education in the US?
 * Does abstinence education actually work as intended?
 * Why is it so hard to access comprehensive sex education when it’s what most parents say they want?

You can check out Margaret’s website [https://www.margaretgracemyers.com/] to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. [http://speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology]

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated [https://beducate.me/hot-summer]! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer 

Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN [https://www.paired.com/JUSTIN] and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here  [https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/]for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex], Twitter [https://twitter.com/JustinLehmiller], or Bluesky [https://bsky.app/profile/justinlehmiller.bsky.social] to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm8JQt7it3re8SypKf-mT2Q] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/].

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-and-psychology-podcast/id1505460817], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/6DCIGjOUaenoKdY71N7NqI], Google [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubGVobWlsbGVyLmNvbS9wb2RjYXN0P2Zvcm1hdD1yc3M?hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiomerUw8vrAhXvAJ0JHb06CjgQ4aUDegQIARAC], or Amazon [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/13619d2a-d69f-4d05-949b-5c1f19eb1995/Sex-and-Psychology-Podcast]. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting [https://precisionpodcasting.com/] (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 426: Why Sex Ed Sucks (And Always Has)

Why are some people straight while others are gay or bisexual? What determines our sexual orientation anyway? Today, we’re going to be diving into what we’ve learned about the biological origins of our sexuality from decades of scientific research. As you’ll see, there’s not a simple and easy story—it doesn’t boil down to something like a “gay gene.” It’s way more complex than that!

I am joined once again by Nathan Lents [https://nathanlents.wordpress.com/], a Professor of Biology at John Jay College, where he is the director of the Cell and Molecular Biology program. His research lab studies human genetic evolution and forensic DNA technology. He also writes popular science articles and is the author of the new book The Sexual Evolution: How 500 Millions Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships [https://amzn.to/4lxmNjv].

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

 * Is same-sex attraction genetic?
 * How can two people who share 100% of the same DNA have different sexual orientations?
 * When researchers are studying sexual orientation, should they be looking at attraction, identity, behavior, or all of the above?
 * Why is having more older brothers linked to greater odds of homosexuality in men?
 * What other biological factors are associated with sexual orientation?

You can check out Nathan’s website [https://nathanlents.wordpress.com/] to learn more about his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. [http://speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology]

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com [https://vb.health/products/load-boost/] to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN.

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium [https://events.iu.edu/kinsey/event/2025-kisis-sex-and-aging], [https://events.iu.edu/kinsey/event/the-new-science-of-sexual-fantasies] which will take place on October 4, 2025.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here  [https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/]for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex], Twitter [https://twitter.com/JustinLehmiller], or Bluesky [https://bsky.app/profile/justinlehmiller.bsky.social] to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm8JQt7it3re8SypKf-mT2Q] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/].

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-and-psychology-podcast/id1505460817], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/6DCIGjOUaenoKdY71N7NqI], Google [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubGVobWlsbGVyLmNvbS9wb2RjYXN0P2Zvcm1hdD1yc3M?hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiomerUw8vrAhXvAJ0JHb06CjgQ4aUDegQIARAC], or Amazon [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/13619d2a-d69f-4d05-949b-5c1f19eb1995/Sex-and-Psychology-Podcast]. Subscribe to aut

Episode 425: What Determines Our Sexual Orientation?

Are human beings made for monogamy or non-monogamy? This is a popular subject of debate. While some argue that humans evolved for monogamy in order to ensure parental investment in our offspring, others argue that humans evolved to be non-monogamous because it increases the odds of reproductive success and genetic diversity in our species. So which is it? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today.

I am joined by Nathan Lents [https://nathanlents.wordpress.com/], a Professor of Biology at John Jay College, where he is the director of the Cell and Molecular Biology program. His research lab studies human genetic evolution and forensic DNA technology. He also writes popular science articles and is the author of the new book The Sexual Evolution: How 500 Millions Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships [https://amzn.to/4lxmNjv].

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

 * What’s the difference between social monogamy and sexual monogamy?
 * How common are social and sexual monogamy in both humans and animals, and how often do they overlap?
 * Can research on other primates shed light on how human mating strategies evolved?
 * Can someone’s brain chemistry predispose them to being monogamous or non-monogamous?

You can check out Nathan’s website [https://nathanlents.wordpress.com/] to learn more about his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. [http://speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology]

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com [https://vb.health/products/load-boost/] to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN.

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com [http://sexualhealthalliance.com/] and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here  [https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/]for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex], Twitter [https://twitter.com/JustinLehmiller], or Bluesky [https://bsky.app/profile/justinlehmiller.bsky.social] to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm8JQt7it3re8SypKf-mT2Q] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/].

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-and-psychology-podcast/id1505460817], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/6DCIGjOUaenoKdY71N7NqI], Google [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubGVobWlsbGVyLmNvbS9wb2RjYXN0P2Zvcm1hdD1yc3M?hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiomerUw8vrAhXvAJ0JHb06CjgQ4aUDegQIARAC], or Amazon [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/13619d2a-d69f-4d05-949b-5c1f19eb1995/Sex-and-Psychology-Podcast]. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: 

Episode 424: Are Humans Made To Be Monogamous?

Erectile dysfunction is one of the most common sexual difficulties that men encounter, and it can be very distressing. But while ED is highly treatable, we really need to understand what causes it in the first place in order to treat it most effectively. In today’s show, we’re going to explore some of the psychological reasons why it occurs, including how early attachment wounds can manifest as erectile difficulties later in life.

I am joined once again by Dr. Nazanin Moali [https://sexologypodcast.com/], a licensed clinical psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and the host of the internationally acclaimed Sexology Podcast [https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/sexology/id1193611459]. Based in Los Angeles, she leads a successful private practice where she helps individuals and couples deepen emotional intimacy, overcome sexual challenges, and create more fulfilling relationships.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

 * Does porn cause erectile difficulties?
 * How can insecure relationship dynamics play a role in erectile difficulties?
 * How does early attachment trauma affect sexual function during adulthood?
 * Where does performance pressure come from and how does it affect erectile function?
 * What are some of the benefits of sex therapy for ED?

You can check out Nazanin’s website [https://sexologypodcast.com/] to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. [http://speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology]

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated [https://beducate.me/hot-summer]! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer 

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium [https://events.iu.edu/kinsey/event/2025-kisis-sex-and-aging], [https://events.iu.edu/kinsey/event/the-new-science-of-sexual-fantasies] which will take place on October 4, 2025.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here  [https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/]for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex], Twitter [https://twitter.com/JustinLehmiller], or Bluesky [https://bsky.app/profile/justinlehmiller.bsky.social] to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm8JQt7it3re8SypKf-mT2Q] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/].

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-and-psychology-podcast/id1505460817], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/6DCIGjOUaenoKdY71N7NqI], Google [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubGVobWlsbGVyLmNvbS9wb2RjYXN0P2Zvcm1hdD1yc3M?hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiomerUw8vrAhXvAJ0JHb06CjgQ4aUDegQIARAC], or 

Episode 423: The Hidden Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction

In long-term relationships, almost everyone will go through a sexual dry spell at some point. This is normal, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s something fundamentally wrong with you or your relationship. However, the good news is that there’s a lot you can do to break the dry spell and get your intimate life back on track. Today, we’re going to explore the reasons why sex often disappears in relationships, and what you can do about it.

I am joined by Dr. Nazanin Moali [https://sexologypodcast.com/], a licensed clinical psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and the host of the internationally acclaimed Sexology Podcast [https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/sexology/id1193611459]. Based in Los Angeles, she leads a successful private practice where she helps individuals and couples deepen emotional intimacy, overcome sexual challenges, and create more fulfilling relationships.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

 * How many people are in sexless relationships?
 * What questions should we be asking when we find ourselves in a sexual dry spell?
 * How can you bring erotic tension back into your relationship?
 * What are ways to bring a sense of mystery and play back into sex?
 * How can we reinvent our date nights in a way that’s going to cultivate more erotic energy and excitement?

You can check out Nazanin’s website [https://sexologypodcast.com/] to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. [http://speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology]

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated [https://beducate.me/hot-summer]! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer 

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com [http://sexualhealthalliance.com/] and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here  [https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/]for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex], Twitter [https://twitter.com/JustinLehmiller], or Bluesky [https://bsky.app/profile/justinlehmiller.bsky.social] to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm8JQt7it3re8SypKf-mT2Q] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/].

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-and-psychology-podcast/id1505460817], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/6DCIGjOUaenoKdY71N7NqI], Google [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubGVobWlsbGVyLmNvbS9wb2RjYXN0P2Zvcm1hdD1yc3M?hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiomerUw8vrAhXvAJ0JHb06CjgQ4aUDegQIARAC], or 

Episode 422: How To Break A Sexual Dry Spell

As many as 1 in 5 adults have visited an erotic camsite. However, the appeal of these sites goes far beyond sexual gratification. A new study of camsite users finds that they are often looking for emotional connection and fulfillment, too. But are they actually finding it? In today’s show, we’re diving into the data and exploring whether intimacy is really an experience that can be commodified.

I’m joined once again by Ellen Kaufman [https://www.amandagesselman.com/vibes-research-team], a Senior Research Associate at the Kinsey Institute. Her research focuses on the intersection of sexuality and technology, exploring how our relationships and overall sexual and emotional wellbeing are shaped by new modalities of connection.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

 * How is a camsite different from a traditional porn site?
 * Who are the primary visitors of camsites?
 * To what extent do users feel emotional bonds with cam models?
 * Can we develop authentic intimacy in a transactional setting?

You can check out the website for the VIBES research team [https://www.amandagesselman.com/vibes-research-team] to learn more about Ellen’s work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. [http://speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology]

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com [https://brooklynbedding.com/] and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide. 

If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health [https://vb.health/] and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here  [https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/]for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex], Twitter [https://twitter.com/JustinLehmiller], or Bluesky [https://bsky.app/profile/justinlehmiller.bsky.social] to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm8JQt7it3re8SypKf-mT2Q] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/].

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-and-psychology-podcast/id1505460817], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/6DCIGjOUaenoKdY71N7NqI], Google [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubGVobWlsbGVyLmNvbS9wb2RjYXN0P2Zvcm1hdD1yc3M?hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiomerUw8vrAhXvAJ0JHb06CjgQ4aUDegQIARAC], or Amazon [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/13619d2a-d69f-4d05-949b-5c1f19eb1995/Sex-and-Psychology-Podcast]. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting [https://precisionpodcasting.com/] (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 421: Digital Intimacy and the Rise of Erotic Camsites

Everyone is talking about how artificial intelligence (AI) is going to fundamentally change almost every aspect of our lives, and that includes our intimate lives. So in today’s show, we’re going to explore the impact that AI is already having on the world of dating and relationships and whether it’s helping or hurting our chances of finding lasting love.

I am joined by Ellen Kaufman [https://www.amandagesselman.com/vibes-research-team], a Senior Research Associate at the Kinsey Institute. Her research focuses on the intersection of sexuality and technology, exploring how our relationships and overall sexual and emotional wellbeing are shaped by new modalities of connection.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

 * How many singles are currently using AI to boost their dating odds?
 * In what ways are people using AI to help them date?
 * Is AI going to ruin dating or make it better?
 * How many people have sought an AI romantic companion?
 * What’s the appeal of an AI companion? Can AI actually provide emotional fulfillment?

You can check out the website for the VIBES research team [https://www.amandagesselman.com/vibes-research-team] to learn more about Ellen’s work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. [http://speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology]

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

If you’re looking for a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost by VB Health. Visit vb.health [https://vb.health/] and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.

A bad mattress can be bad for your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com [https://brooklynbedding.com/] and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide. 

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here  [https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/]for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex], Twitter [https://twitter.com/JustinLehmiller], or Bluesky [https://bsky.app/profile/justinlehmiller.bsky.social] to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm8JQt7it3re8SypKf-mT2Q] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/].

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-and-psychology-podcast/id1505460817], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/6DCIGjOUaenoKdY71N7NqI], Google [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubGVobWlsbGVyLmNvbS9wb2RjYXN0P2Zvcm1hdD1yc3M?hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiomerUw8vrAhXvAJ0JHb06CjgQ4aUDegQIARAC], or Amazon [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/13619d2a-d69f-4d05-949b-5c1f19eb1995/Sex-and-Psychology-Podcast]. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting [https://precisionpodcasting.com/] (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 420: How AI is Changing Dating

A lot of the advice we hear about setting boundaries is just plain wrong. So in today’s show, we’re going to explore what you need to know about setting healthy boundaries. We’re also going to discuss why boundaries aren’t just important in our romantic and sexual relationships, but in all of the other relationships we have in our lives, too.

I am joined once again by KC Davis [https://www.strugglecare.com/about], the bestselling author of How to Keep House While Drowning [https://amzn.to/40CoBjJ]. A licensed therapist, she is the creator of the popular Struggle Care website [https://www.strugglecare.com/] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/strugglecare/?hl=en], and the Domestic Blisters TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@domesticblisters?lang=en]. Her latest book is titled Who Deserves Your Love: How To Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen, or End Any Relationship. [https://amzn.to/4lKUOh3]

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

 * What do people often get wrong about setting boundaries?
 * How can you establish and communicate about your boundaries more effectively?
 * How do we navigate feelings of hurt when it comes to boundary setting?
 * What’s the problem with being a people-pleaser?
 * How can we maintain boundaried relationships with someone who’s underfunctioning?

You can check out KC’s website [https://www.strugglecare.com/] to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. [http://speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology]

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Thank you to our sponsors! 

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The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium [https://events.iu.edu/kinsey/event/2025-kisis-sex-and-aging], [https://events.iu.edu/kinsey/event/the-new-science-of-sexual-fantasies] which will take place on October 4, 2025.

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com [http://sexualhealthalliance.com/] and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here  [https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/]for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex], Twitter [https://twitter.com/JustinLehmiller], or Bluesky [https://bsky.app/profile/justinlehmiller.bsky.social] to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm8JQt7it3re8SypKf-mT2Q] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/].

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-and-psychology-podcast/id1505460817], 

Episode 419: How To Set Boundaries In Relationships

The Sex and Psychology Podcast is the sex ed you never got in school—and won’t
find anywhere else. Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller takes you
on a journey through the psychology of sex and relationships, offering practical
tips along the way that can help you take your intimate life to the next level.
Learn more on Dr. Lehmiller’s blog at sexandpsychology.com

Justin Lehmiller

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