Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Carving Your Own Path w/ Carlos Reyes
28 Plays1 month ago
In this episode I talk to Carlos Reyes, elite level strength athlete and firefighter. We discuss his path to becoming one of the best overall strength athletes. What it means to follow in his dad's footsteps of becoming a firefighter, along with how he carved his own path to success. We touch on what legacy he wants to leave behind and how he juggles all of his training and roles of being a father, husband, and firefighter without skipping a beat.
Carlos Reyes is a firefighter and competitive powerlifter. With a background in emergency response and strength training, he brings a practical perspective on resilience, discipline, and performance under pressure. His experience bridges the physical demands of firefighting with the mental focus required in high-level strength sports.
Recommended
Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
right. Today i have on Carlos Reyes. It's been a while since we've talked, man. So i'm I'm excited to have you on the show and excited to talk about some of the things that that you've done since since our last conversation. So thanks for coming on the show.
00:00:15
Speaker
Yeah. Thanks for having me, bro. Really ah excited to talk about changes in both our lives. you know I might be doing some interviewing of you as well. Yeah. Sounds good, man. i I like it. I like it. So you've been...
00:00:26
Speaker
um strength training for a long time. You're strength athlete. The first time I ever heard about you was through, through strong man. There was some 18 year old freak log press in like 400 pounds and you know, whatever you were doing at that time. And I was like blown away by the sheer strength and athleticism. Cause you were a small guy at that time too.
00:00:49
Speaker
and I was just like, most of my strongman career was under 200 pounds. and only really bulked up above 200 for the pro card attempts. Yep. Yeah. so I was like, I didn't know people were built like that, you know, and and to be that strong. And you've been at it now for 20 years, um roughly, give or take. well What drove you to seek out strength sports and like how has that passion evolved over 20 years? Yeah.
00:01:17
Speaker
So yeah, it's actually been, I think it's a hard 20 this year because I got my first gym membership in February of 2005. So I initially started having an interest in strength training because I wanted to play high school football.
00:01:32
Speaker
I was not a good athlete growing up at all. Cycled through a bunch of sports. Wasn't really great at anything. ah The one year that I played Pop Warner, I was the worst kid on the entire team.
00:01:43
Speaker
um I was that kid eating Doritos and playing video games growing up. So, you know, Definitely was a big wake-up call, but I still liked it. So I'm like, all right if I want to play in high school, I know I'm behind on the technical understanding of the game.
00:01:59
Speaker
But if I want to be involved, I just have to be bigger and faster and stronger than people. So started originally lifting for football. And then it was probably somewhere in 2007 or 2008. A friend I made at Gold's Gym in New Haven, Powerhouse, um said, hey, I do Strongman because I was more interested in I was always more interested in strength and performance versus physique.
00:02:25
Speaker
The physique was kind of like the side effects for me. Um, but he mentioned that he did strong man and he's like, Oh, you should come and check it out. So drove up to a gym up in Waterbury, Connecticut with him one Saturday morning. And I had no clue what I was walking into. Um,
00:02:40
Speaker
At the time, it was the one of the most premier strongman training groups in the company and the country. Derek Poundstone, that was his place. um But not even just with Derek, among other people in the group. I think by the time we kind of all went our separate ways, we probably had at least six professional strongmen in the group.
00:03:01
Speaker
um We had a multiple-time America's Strongest Woman runner-up. um And it was just like love from day one. um My first competition in Strongman, because I always just saw everybody in the group as heavyweights. i'm like, oh, I don't know how I can do this.
00:03:17
Speaker
I saw ah two lightweight pros that were actually kind of just competing as an exhibition. And they looked like how I wanted to look like. I was like 175 pounds, but they were like 231, 105 kilo.
00:03:29
Speaker
And that was the first time I really saw a future for myself in doing this pursuit. And then once I got in a strong man, I kind of had it with high school sports and football. i'm like, Oh, when does practice end? Cause I want to go to the gym.
00:03:41
Speaker
um Yeah. Just really been all in ever since. Yeah. That it's fascinating. Cause I, I would have thought potentially that, you know, at your age to be that strong, know,
00:03:55
Speaker
obviously there's a lot of genetic components to that, to why you were that strong at that age. It wasn't just because you just started to work really hard. I'm sure you had a good start and strength base. um But I was always curious of like being that genetically gifted strength wise, like why, why also did you have such a good work ethic as well? Because sometimes those things don't, don't mix, right? If you're genetically good at something, maybe you don't have to work hard because you've never had to. But now that you're saying that like,
00:04:25
Speaker
sports was the struggle for you and you found that working hard can make you a better athlete it does make sense it connects the dots a lot better um but as far as like work ethic goes and and your desire to to get better um where did that where did that come from uh your dad obviously a firefighter um but where where did that structure of If I put in the work, if I do X, then then Y will happen.
00:04:51
Speaker
so let me focus on putting all my effort into X and not really focusing on too much on Y. so I think I wouldn't say it honestly doesn't have as much to do with my childhood or upbringing as you think.
00:05:04
Speaker
And then in terms of the genetics, I don't want to be that cornball that says, oh no, my genetics actually suck. It's all hard work. I'm not going to say they were bad. ah Specifically for squat, I've always been a very – decent squatter like from the first few times i squatted in the gym uh but getting exposed to that training group for strongman and waterbury because i was going there when i was 16 that was really kind of the instrument for change like everybody was working hard ah at the time in strongman there was kind of a renaissance with the approach in turn to the events so if you look at kind of the old ifsta
00:05:46
Speaker
and the old World's Strongest Man events that were going on. a lot of There wasn't a whole lot of technique. It was kind of like guys were just hulking shit up. um But at the time, the sport was getting very, very technical.
00:05:56
Speaker
um There were a couple guys in the group that would break down technique after almost everything they did, analyze videos, have the stopwatches out. So I got to see kind of like that all-encompassing approach around training for the sport.
00:06:11
Speaker
And then... back to Derek Poundstone, you know, he was like one of the first guys other than Pusinowski that had the physique to match because he ate like a bodybuilder and, and,
00:06:23
Speaker
wasn't just a big fat guy lifting a bunch of weight. So that group really showed me, okay, it's not just about coming in here and working hard this Saturday. It's you have to keep coming every Saturday and you have to do things during the week that are going to facilitate having a good day on Saturday. You got to go to bed, you got to eat.
00:06:40
Speaker
You have to be really breaking down your technique in these events. It's not just working hard. you know um and that standard in the group at that time because when i first started going there derek was training for the world's strongest man where i believe he became runner-up so there was always somebody just doing something big in the gym when somebody was always going to nationals um even in the local circuit that we competed in as a group the local promoters that uh we competed it with had the heaviest shows in the country so
00:07:13
Speaker
there was always just this push to be the best you can possibly be and nothing less was acceptable. um Before a couple guys went to nationals or go get their pro cards, there was a guys in the group that said, Hey, come with back with your pro card or don't come home.
00:07:30
Speaker
You know, obviously it was a euphemism. They were kind of just kidding, but in the moment they made you believe it. And that was always the standard. So it was really learning from all those people there, just how high of a bar that was to meet.
00:07:42
Speaker
Yeah. The interesting thing is that like ah at 16 to comprehend that idea of I need to be dedicated to something, right? Because you get your license, you get your car, your first sign of freedom.
00:07:56
Speaker
why why do you think... Like, what was it that captivated you to be like, I am going to dedicate my time to this? I may lose some of the fun and excitement of of high school because I am dedicating my time to be really good at something else. Like every athlete has to make that choice eventually over time of like, am I willing to sacrifice something in order to be the best version of myself?
00:08:23
Speaker
And at 16, it's hard to fathom that. you would have the maturity to to make that choice. So why do you think that is? Was it strictly because those guys were the best in the world and you saw like what it what it could have been? Was it because of the standard that they set and you don't want to let them down? Like what what exactly was it?
00:08:40
Speaker
think it's two things. ah One being that when I first got in the gym, even before my first competition, it felt like this is the first thing that I can really be good at in my life. Yeah.
00:08:54
Speaker
because I felt like I was kind of average or just like everybody else um playing sports growing up. And even with academics, I felt like i was middle of the road at everything. But I'm like, this is the first thing I could be really good at. And and not just in in an accomplishment setting, but like, I just loved going to the gym. It didn't feel like work. It felt like I'm supposed to be doing this.
00:09:15
Speaker
um But going back to that training group, I think part of, The reason why I was able to take such a serious approach was I was training with all grown men and women. You know, they were all in their late 20s, early 30s, and I was the kid.
00:09:29
Speaker
So I got to get a very mature approach to training demonstrated to me very early. versus ah you know like stereotypically now like the broccoli heads at the gym right where it's like you're going to the gym with your bros right and kind of just hitting biceps and chest and like making your hair look good for me i was training with grown men that were very serious so i definitely was able to take a lot of that seriousness and how all encompassing your approach had to be from them and everybody was doing it. So it just didn't even feel weird. i was kind of like, okay, this is what you have to do to be really good. and
00:10:06
Speaker
And I want to be really good. So this is, this is, these are the steps I'll take. And it sounded like they invested time in you as well. And I'm sure by them investing time in you, you probably had this mindset of,
00:10:21
Speaker
somebody believes in me and I'm actually good at this and they're putting time in me. So like, I'm not gonna disappoint myself or the people that are working hard to make me better.
00:10:33
Speaker
Did any of that ever cross your mind? Yeah, I definitely feel like I owed something to them. And I feel that the same way now, even though i'm kind of in a different place in my training career.
00:10:44
Speaker
You know, like ah so Derek at the time, that was his personal equipment. He didn't charge us anything to train on it. There was a gym that it was stored in and you would pay just like a nominal day pass to the gym, like five bucks, ten bucks. But that was it.
00:10:59
Speaker
And. and he would spend all the time in the world talking shop with you if you wanted. And so did everybody else in the group. um When we'd go to competitions, ah they would say, hey, you know, they kind of like pump you up before you went, you know, um like when I was doing the teenage nationals, I forgot who it was in the group, but they were like, hey, we told ah Dion Wessels at the time, you know, that you're coming and you're going to do big things. So don't let us down.
00:11:26
Speaker
You know, it definitely felt like I owed them something. they They really gave me a lot. And that was the most formative time in my training career and and even going forward. So the person that brought me there was a a college student so you know he's probably almost eight ten years older than me used to drive me back and forth no charge for gas right like uh my training partner and coach paul milano who's still my coach to this day when we were in college he was driving me to and from the gym no charge right like even though it's an individual sport it really does take a village that's not just a saying
00:12:05
Speaker
I think there's very few people that are just self-made in their garage and don't owe any of their knowledge to anyone, you know, that they all did it all themselves. I'm i'm a product of people that invested in me. Definitely didn't do it myself.
00:12:19
Speaker
Yeah. And where did that, where did that come from? Because you could easily fall into a couple of different camps. One of them is this entitlement camp of, you know, this equipment's here.
00:12:29
Speaker
They're not charging me for it. I'm good at it. Like, i maybe i'm maybe I'm not going to invest back into the group or maybe I'm not going to put that back into the group as opposed to the the route that you took where it was like, I owe them something as opposed to they owe me. Like, where where did that come from? Was that something that was ingrained in you as ah as a child? Was that just your personality of of who you've always been? Like, how did you get to that point especially at 16, like that's, we're still like so ego driven at that age that we only care about ourself naturally. Like that's just the way human beings evolve.
00:13:05
Speaker
So to be 16 and to not have this idea of like, this is exactly what I deserve. This is kind of like, of course this is for me as a, and you know and you went to the other route of like, yeah, like this is, this is a privilege and I'm going to honor it.
00:13:19
Speaker
Just seeing that, just seeing that giving back in the group, Because it was so, because being part of that group was so early in my exposure to strength sports, I thought that was just part of the deal. that thought that's what you had to do, right?
00:13:34
Speaker
Everybody's talking shop. So then when it's my time to talk shop, I will talk shop, right? ah People stay late and load weights for me and help put things away. So I do the same thing for them. um you know, part of that training group at the time. So everything was stored inside and it had to go outside.
00:13:51
Speaker
So set up and breakdown was like an hour, you know? yeah um And it was kind of like playing football. I probably got that from football too. You know, like when you're on the varsity football team as a sophomore, like who's cleaning up the coolers, who's loading the coolers, who's grabbing all the dirty jerseys, the freshmen and the sophomores. Right.
00:14:08
Speaker
And I kind of had that mindset going into that training group. It's like, okay, if there's plates to load, it's me. Uh, I thought that was kind of just part of the deal. And I see that now in ah my profession being a firefighter, right?
00:14:24
Speaker
It's not just in my department. It's industry-wide. I mean, this has been going on for 200 years. It's all about educating and giving back to the new members. Like, you could be the best firefighter in the world. If you don't invest and train in the new members, you're useless. Nobody wants you.
00:14:43
Speaker
It's about continuing that knowledge to go beyond your time in the career field. you know um But training in that group identity, I just thought it was always part of the deal. I really just didn't know any different.
00:14:57
Speaker
And i'm I'm glad I didn't know any different. Right. it That's a beautiful thing to to fall into. Have you, so over these 20 years, I know you train out of your garage and you train um at Paul's gym as well, but over these, over this two decades, have you noticed changes in gym atmosphere or are there still, what are the changes that you noticed and why do you think those, those have, have come about? Like, what are some of the key characteristics that you think um make a ah great gym versus the ones that make a not so inclusive, build the people up kind of gym.
00:15:33
Speaker
it's It's really, i think probably what it stems from between now and back then was access to information, right? There is an overabundance of information now. As much bad information as that there is out there, there's so much good information.
00:15:50
Speaker
um But like when you and I started training, I mean... pre-social media era right like where did you even go to look up this stuff i used to use the log books on elite fts and the articles west side and articles uh exrx was another website get big forums powerlifting usa used to send away for for little manuals and books um when i was doing straw man There was a Mironde muscle.
00:16:17
Speaker
and don't know if you ever, um you were, you on there. Yeah. Awesome. Okay. Right. Like Mironde muscle was the forum. If you were a strong man, like if you didn't have a training log on there, like you weren't even real. Right.
00:16:28
Speaker
But, but, but that was your only access to information. And like, you'd follow guys for years. and talk in between their workout posting, like, oh, why are you doing this? Why are you doing that? And then you see them at a competition. Oh, you're Stone Lifter, one, two, three. Oh, OK, right.
00:16:44
Speaker
But like back then, we kind of had to like claw for information. And it it involved the best way to do it, really, was getting in a group a training group. Right um now, i think that there's so much readily available information.
00:17:01
Speaker
You could really like hire one of the best coaches in the world and get access to all top quality information without ever having to connect with someone face to face. um I have seen the death of like the organized training group in the last 10 or 15 I don't think it's all bad.
00:17:21
Speaker
um As good as training groups can be, training groups can also be negative because I feel like you fall to the lowest common denominator of the group. right You don't necessarily, oh, well, this is the top dog and everyone's doing what he's doing.
00:17:37
Speaker
Whoever's like the lowest performer, worst attitude, least contributor, that's kind of where the group can devolve to. um But having that face-to-face feedback and like coming up with people over years and having eyes on you physically versus just through video, I think is a little bit different.
00:17:56
Speaker
um Now seeing the changes in kind of gym culture, ah the the training group is gone. Everybody's got their headphones in and tripods out and they're doing their own thing, um which I don't think necessarily is bad.
00:18:10
Speaker
It's just, it's just different. It's just different, but that's, that's probably been the biggest change I've seen. Yeah. Yeah. Individuals doing their thing. Yeah. Yeah. You're right with the information being so readily available.
00:18:23
Speaker
um I remember on the Miranda forums, people, were very like kind with how they were able to talk to people on the forums too. like People went out of their way to you know give advice and and do those things. And I think it's just evolved into like social media now as kind of the forums.
00:18:43
Speaker
And that's where people are giving their advice. um And like you said, the good about that is like there's more good advice out there um from some of the top strength athletes, which sometimes that's not necessarily the best people to listen to for advice, but It's out there, right?
00:18:59
Speaker
It's true. ah But there's no barrier to entry either. So then you get a lot of bad advice as well. um How do you parse through good and bad? Like what's what's your way of finding out like this is the knowledge that I i want and is good versus this is the knowledge that is is bad? Like what is some of your ideas of how you go through that process of knowing what is good and and what is bad?
00:19:28
Speaker
i So a lot of... going to have to pause this in a minute. I got to kind of think about this for a sec. um
00:19:43
Speaker
Honestly, a lot the consume now... I start with the person's credibility, right? Like you just said, the strongest people are not necessarily the best people to take advice from.
00:19:53
Speaker
um What I look for as well is the variety of clients that a coach or a source of information has had success with, right?
00:20:06
Speaker
um Not naming names, but like one of the top strength coaches in powerlifting on a certain side have all the top dogs on their roster, right? All of the best genetic freaks, all of the best performers.
00:20:19
Speaker
um But this individual seems to have a system and everyone gets this system. And if you don't adapt to the system, then you break and, you don't do well and you're off the team.
00:20:30
Speaker
Right. Uh, what I like to see from coaches and sources of information is like, Hey, did you make a beginner athlete and intermediate? Did you make an intermediate and advanced lifter? Did you make an advanced lifter even more advanced? Right. Uh, I think it's ah harder to coach more beginners and intermediates than it is in advanced athletes sometime, you know, cause like advanced athletes, I kind of know what they're doing for the most part. They just need that ship steered.
00:20:56
Speaker
um So yeah, credibility is is definitely one thing in the variety of clients people work with. ah Really anybody that like tries to be an influencer or use like buzzwords or like shock values just to stay away from, right? um People that are just putting out like good raw information that's maybe not so sexy. Like one of the biggest sources of information I use is um RTS, Mike Teixeira.
00:21:21
Speaker
right because there's a tremendous amount of clients that he's worked with his programs look very very different between coaches and athletes um i'd also feel like to not to go off on this segue i get much more information from coaches from the tested side of powerlifting than untested because the untested the tested side of powerlifting you're removing one factor for success, right?
00:21:50
Speaker
If there's an untested coach that's just throwing a bunch of gas in the tank, all right, what worked? Was it your programming or the fact that, you know, it's coming out of their eyeballs, right? yeah So I think that tested coaches,
00:22:05
Speaker
have more obstacles to work against than maybe an untested coach in terms of like getting success out of their clients, keeping them together. ah I've seen, honestly, tested athletes have longer careers than untested.
00:22:19
Speaker
So how to keep people in the game for longer, like that's really what I'm most interested in. So really like kind of the training I do is an RTS model now. And it's, you could argue that it's more of a tested athletes program than an untested.
00:22:33
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, that's the way that I look at it is the last thing that you said is like, does this coach keep their athletes healthy? Because we know that the best... the best ability is availability, right? So can we keep them healthy?
00:22:48
Speaker
Can we keep them training every single month? If they're doing that, then you know that that coach is constantly making adjustments because injuries are going to happen, especially if you have this redundancy of of continuous training protocols for each person, right? They're going to get injured because you're not accounting for the mechanisms of bone structure, the mechanisms of what's the best lift for this athlete, what are some of their...
00:23:12
Speaker
um issues instability wise, like, are they putting forth it that? Like, so to me, this idea of like, are they keeping their athletes healthy and are they progressing each month as far as health goes?
00:23:24
Speaker
That tells me that that coach is involved and and knows a lot about the the biomechanics of, of lifting and that type of stuff. um And I've also noticed too, that a lot of the untested coaches um lean heavily on on research as well. They do a lot of research. They do a little bit like more work because they know that they have to.
00:23:48
Speaker
and I'd be curious to get your thoughts on um there's a lot of coaches now that use research to back their claims. i What do you think of that?
00:24:02
Speaker
i I have my own opinion based on being in research now and seeing the quality of research, whether or not we should extrapolate and and use the research is, but what are your thoughts on the people that, you know, rely heavily on research and then um downgrade the people who don't use research? What what are your thoughts on on that scientific point of view of, of training models?
00:24:28
Speaker
I think it's a balance, right? Um, one of the new social media trends is the war between the bro lifters and the science-based lifters. Right. And I think both are, have kind of been fluffed up into two extremes and I don't think they're as really extreme in actual life and practice. Right.
00:24:48
Speaker
I do like coaches that read the research and stay up to date, but there are two questions that I have. One is the research actually relevant or maybe three i got a bunch of questions is the research actually relevant to the athlete that's in front of you right to what were the program design or the study design parameters right because a lot of these research articles sound really sexy and like they're telling you something revolutionary then you look at the study design and you're like
00:25:21
Speaker
All right, a one rep max leg extension on untrained athletes. Like, is this going to help me take my already high level advanced lifter into being able to compete as a master? And that's at the end of their career. Like, maybe, maybe not.
00:25:37
Speaker
Is this going to help me get more out of my athlete that's going for a world record or a personal best? Maybe, maybe not, right? um but then it's also too like what is the relevancy of the research so this is a little bit out of my scope like you know i'm not a exercise science professional uh but one of my good friends luke pelton he's a phd at uh springfield college so he was talking about like specifically emg studies and he was like okay yeah we're drawing conclusions from these emg studies and i'm not saying the data isn't real but like
00:26:10
Speaker
Is this even relevant to what we're doing? Like, we don't really have an answer. So that that's a consideration to make. But also, like, to push back on the evidence-based only crowd, right, if you're only concerned about studies, if you're training an athlete or if you're the athlete training, the experiment is right in front of you.
00:26:31
Speaker
Right. So to ignore your athlete saying, hey, coach, I like doing X, Y, Z. I don't like x doing X, Y, Z. This feels better than this exercise or this technique feels better.
00:26:45
Speaker
How is that not relevant? Like, of course, it's relevant. I think doing one exercise because it feels good and not another one is evidence-based, right? Like, yeah why does everything have to be in this kind of one size fits all box?
00:27:03
Speaker
Yeah, no, I agree. and And there's also this idea too in the exercise science community is that we're gonna look at muscle and we're going to look at mechanisms and we're gonna look at these measurements And very rarely do they look at the psychological component that goes with it.
00:27:23
Speaker
And like you just touched on, right? There's plenty of research that shows, you know, if we allow person A to pick their favorite exercise and that's what they're doing first, as opposed to person B, we're gonna pick their exercise for them.
00:27:36
Speaker
Person A has a higher likelihood of enjoying the experience and also wanting to come back and do the exercise and do the workout again, right? That's extremely relevant. especially for a sport that has so much redundancy in it. Like you have to keep them entertained. You have to think about the psychological component.
00:27:55
Speaker
So like you said, is there relevancy in the mechanisms when you're doing a single leg extension EMG study to a strength, to any type of athlete? And for me, that's like, no, it's, there's no relevancy at all to that.
00:28:10
Speaker
mechanistically you're finding out something, but like, what does that mean? Like, where's the practical application to that? um So I think you, you, you nailed a lot of that stuff and a lot of the issues that comes with the exercise research community.
00:28:25
Speaker
And then also just like research in general, there's this, I, there's this pressure of um you have to get published and that's how you get your job. Right.
00:28:38
Speaker
And a lot of these journal or these journals that accept these these publications, they don't accept no findings. They don't accept, you know, they they're looking for novel stuff, right?
00:28:52
Speaker
So what kind of biases are we having? we're We're only publishing things that show results as opposed to things that don't. So for everything that shows a result, you probably have five, six other studies that had negative results, but you'll never see that in the research.
00:29:08
Speaker
So then there's this pressure of like, oh, we need to find something. We need to make um really good research. And a lot of times that could be like, hey, we're measuring hypertrophy in a muscle and I'm the person who's doing the ultrasound.
00:29:24
Speaker
And I know which group is the group that I want to look good. Right. So maybe I'll be a little bit lighter on this. ah And maybe that's, yeah yeah, maybe that's even subconscious as well. Right. But there is this, I, this pressure system of like, we need to publish publish novel research and we're never really getting the research that shows that there's no findings at all.
00:29:43
Speaker
And that that's a big problem, right? Because then when they do these meta-analysis, you have this publication bias of like, we're only publishing results. We're not publishing anything that's negative. And I recently read one that said like, we removed all papers that showed negative results in this meta-analysis.
00:30:02
Speaker
Yeah, that's not pushing the knowledge base forward now. and And then with with the studies too, it's like, okay, what research would actually be relevant to the athlete that's in front of me? And...
00:30:15
Speaker
with that research, like, do we already know a lot of this stuff, right? So some of the new research that's like coming out about sleep and diet and nutrition and effectiveness of supplements, like, yeah, we know sleep is good. Like, yeah, the athlete that has better sleep and better sleep hygiene may perform better than an athlete that doesn't, right?
00:30:36
Speaker
But in terms of translating that into the athlete that's in front of me, all right, if I have an athlete that can control their sleep and is not you necessarily maximizing their sleep right now, can I guide them into making it better?
00:30:49
Speaker
um With me as a parent and working shift work, right, there's never going to be optimal sleep ever, right? But knowing some of these things about sleep, it's like, okay, can I –
00:31:01
Speaker
maximize the time that I do have and how can I maximize it versus getting so obsessed with just all the details, you know? um Like for me, like auto, i so I use auto regulation, right? In my programming RP.
00:31:17
Speaker
So something I've noticed since I became parent And even but even a little bit before that is all of my warmups feel terrible every single day, every single day. and Right.
00:31:28
Speaker
So if I were to be so strict with the tenants of RPE and be like, okay, well, I feel bad today. So I'm going to auto-regulate down. I would never train hard, would never train hard.
00:31:40
Speaker
So then even with the application of RPE, I kind of revert to the bro science and I'm like, all right, well, feeling crappy is my baseline. So I'm going go for it and see what happens.
00:31:53
Speaker
And nine times out of 10, it works out just fine. Right. Today, today's workout was a perfect example of that. Uh, warmups felt absolutely terrible. Went for it anyway and did just fine.
00:32:07
Speaker
Yeah. There's something about this idea of, um, always having to feel good allows you to know that the the thing that you did previously or were like feeling good as a by-product of you're checking all the boxes, right? But as we age and as, as life brings about stresses, we know that we're not going to feel good every single day. um And if you're working with a coach, maybe they don't know how you feel every single day.
00:32:34
Speaker
So the the great thing about training with auto-regulation is you do learn um more about yourself and, and, that you can train and have success on ah on a day where you don't feel great. And then on days where you do feel great, maybe you don't have the best training session, right? So it gives you feedback. And that's the way that I always look at it from ah from a coach's perspective is like, we're just trying to gather feedback and and trends so that we can potentially predict what the future would look like right but these are all like predictions right because there's nothing that's guaranteed right so you do want as much feedback and you do want to give the athlete as much autonomy as possible to explore those different you know paradigms of like i did train i felt like crap but i still made progress like why
00:33:22
Speaker
Why did I feel like crap? Why do I think I still was able to perform really well today? And then that type of introspection starts to build these frameworks of like, and now I have this model. Now I have this model. Now I have this model.
00:33:35
Speaker
And you start to gather all that data. And then the more data you have, the more you can start to, again, predict like, how can I peak? And how can I, you know, you don't get scared if you're peaking and you don't feel great that day because you know that like you can still perform, right?
00:33:48
Speaker
Yeah. So like going back to the, um, research versus just doing it crowd. You know, if I'm expressing all of these things to a purely evidence based approach, oh, I don't really feel good today. Oh, well, I guess you just can't train, you're not optimized, or I guess you should just auto regulate down today.
00:34:05
Speaker
um Only going off the research, you're talking about such a narrow sample size and you're ignoring the person that's in front of you. So like I was saying, all my warmups feel like crap all the time, right?
00:34:16
Speaker
That's actually a spectrum, right? So there's normal feeling rundown versus abnormal feeling rundown. so for me you know research says i have to get eight or nine hours of sleep to function properly right that's not a thing ever anymore and it's not going to be for a long time right um for me if i get five or six quality hours that were followed previously by really good sleep hygiene that's more important than total number of hours in bed if i get five or six really good hours i can perform
00:34:56
Speaker
to an acceptable baseline level. right um Like working in the firehouse, if I was out the entire night, never saw my bed, went to multiple structure fires after midnight, that's a day I'm not just going to auto-regulate down. I'm going to push the session off to 24 hours.
00:35:12
Speaker
right So that's that's just kind of talking about all these feelings are on a spectrum. It doesn't have to be this camp or this camp. And working with athletes in the real world, you have to figure out what their baseline is, how that deviates from the ideal baseline, how that deviates from the baselines of all your other clients that you have, and learn to work within their parameters, not necessarily what an ideal research setting would dictate.
00:35:41
Speaker
Yeah. And from a psychological perspective, you also have this idea of if we're if we're chasing optimal and we don't get it then we can convince ourself that the workout's not going to be great today. Then the workout does not become great today. Right? Like I work with athletes and you get an athlete that's like, I, my deadlift sucks. I don't like to deadlift. Well, guess what? Like every time you go into the gym to deadlift, you're going to hate it. You're not to make progress because of the mindset that you have. So if you're like, I got to get eight to nine hours of sleep or else I'm not going to be able to train effectively. And you only get six. Yeah.
00:36:16
Speaker
you pretty much have shut down your body and your brain from being able to train at that baseline or adequate that day. Right. like So there is this placebo nocebo effect of chasing optimization, chasing the research and becoming more fragile, right? Like we're, we need to build resiliency of the mind and and the body. And I think a lot of times we focus too much on this perfection and and optimization and, um,
00:36:42
Speaker
less on the mind and and how to make it resilient and how to make it, you know, your ability to roll with the punches is is extremely important in in powerlifting competitions. I remember there was one meet that I did. It was a very high level meet and ah going against some really good guys. And one of the guys was like, he missed his last warmup squat.
00:37:07
Speaker
And he was like, I'm gonna i'm just going to hit my opener anyways, because i this is what I came here for. and it's like that mental approach made that person bomb out and they lost money that they could have won because- they If they would have stayed in the meet, they would have won because they were the one of the best lifters.
00:37:25
Speaker
But just like having that mindset going into it doesn't allow you to have that ability to shift left or right and be able to make the right calls for you that day. And I think that's one of the things that you're figuring out through the years of training and auto regulation. Like you have to be able to shift.
00:37:40
Speaker
And if you're too rigid and you're too stuck in like optimization mode, you're not going to be able to do that. And therefore your progress is going to be so small based on only optimization as opposed to shift into what's appropriate for that day.
00:37:57
Speaker
Yeah. Going back to a point you brought up about self-talk, right? That self-talk is so important. I'm just figuring this out now in year 20 with my deadlift.
00:38:09
Speaker
ah My deadlift has been the most unreliable part of my powerlifting career. So like I have a running joke with all my friends and all my training partners. oh yeah, you're not a good deadlifter. Deadlift sucks. My deadlift sucks, blah, blah, blah.
00:38:21
Speaker
Right. But if I want to scratch off this last goal that I have, I got to stop saying that. I got to stop behaving like that in these sessions. you know That self-talk is a lot more powerful than you think it is. and and you And it could be as simple as, all right, I'm not going to start telling myself I'm the best deadlifter in the world. That's not what I'm saying, right?
00:38:41
Speaker
But establishing what is a good deadlift day for me. And, okay, maybe I'm not the best deadlifter in the world, but... the deadlift that goes along with my total, the deadlifts that I can perform under the best circumstances is good enough for me.
00:38:58
Speaker
You know, it doesn't have to be this all or nothing. Right. And are you excited to go train that day? Right. Like right what's your mindset going into training? Are you excited to see what you can do that day? are you excited to explore maybe a tweak in your stand? Like,
00:39:12
Speaker
Are you creating excitement to go into each training session, especially your point in your career um with your job? Every training session is crucial.
00:39:24
Speaker
So are you giving yourself the best opportunity to perform um in a way that's going to promote excitement and progress and like looking forward to the next session and the next session?
00:39:35
Speaker
Because if you're not looking forward to those sessions, you're going to have a bad day. Yeah, so like kind of how I've been approaching my deadlift now is before I used to deadlift in the past, I'm like, oh, here we go again. This is my least favorite lift. What's going to go wrong today?
00:39:50
Speaker
The mindset I kind of bring now is, oh, this lift has the most untapped potential. If I can just lock into achieving this potential, my total is going to transform. And that's ah in an objective and a logical sense. This is the one thing hanging me up from – being where i'd like to be at the end of the sport so i look at it now more and this is very recent i'm not going to say i've been doing this a long time um i look at my deadlift sessions now more as an opportunity for growth versus oh i have to do this thing that i don't like to do to put together their three lift total i mean i objectively hate deadlifting i really do i i can't wait to be done and just do some nice tempo rdls with straps forever
00:40:30
Speaker
and never have to pull sumo, never have to pull conventional. But that that that self-talk is so important. And it's not just on meet day, you know, watching a bunch of David Goggins and giving yourself these unrealistic performance goals and saying mantras to yourself.
00:40:50
Speaker
That belief has to start in training. It has to start at home when you're doing the visualization. kind of picturing the session before it happens, you know, like, I don't know about you, um, with your lifting and competing, but like you're running through workouts, you're running through meet days a million times in your head. And, you know, now that you're in doing endurance sports, you know, wonder, are you picturing all right, what mile 25 is going to feel like and how you're going to adjust if things are feeling this way versus that way?
00:41:23
Speaker
yeah So yeah, yes Yes and no. um The thing that I love about endurance sports is that you're constantly having to bring in data and then adjust accordingly.
00:41:35
Speaker
um But if you project to the future too much, then that can create mental, like trauma is a bad word, but it can create this mental fatigue of, man, like I have, I'm on mile 20.
00:41:52
Speaker
got to go to mile 30.
00:41:55
Speaker
I'm not going to make it like this. This seems too daunting. Right. So I focused on like, kind of being more present in the moment, like one foot in front of the other and I'll adjust when I hit that point of needing to adjust.
00:42:11
Speaker
Right. So it's more, it's more, and then there's a lot of distraction as well of like, Hey, if I can just get to this next bend in the woods or this bend in the wood. So it's that kind of distance in yourself from how you feel on the inside Knowing that you have the knowledge to make those adjustments once you, you know, understand why you're, you're, you're having the problem that you have. Cause like within endurance sports, it's, and within strength sports too, I think it's very simple to figure out what's going on in, in the, in the process. Right. Cause it, yeah it's not a complicated sport, right. You're no very sad just going right.
00:42:49
Speaker
Yeah. So with, with me, it's like, you're either, you're either going too hard, you're going too fast. You, are losing electrolytes and hydration or you need to eat.
00:42:59
Speaker
Right. Those are like the three things. So it's constantly trying to regulate like what those things are, um you know, and, and that's the way that I, I try to do that, you know, by monitoring my heart rate, by thinking about when's the last time I drank something. Right. So ah create these like, um,
00:43:19
Speaker
almost like timelines of like every two minutes, I'm going to take a sip every 30 minutes. I'm going to eat something so that i don't have to think about It just becomes just like when you're getting ready for um a squat, right? You've done the squat a thousand times, both in your head and on that. And you try to mimic the meat as much as possible every time you set up so that when you go to the meat, like you're not thinking about anything you're just able to do.
00:43:43
Speaker
Right. Yeah. With endurance sports, I imagine like you have to spend a lot more time managing those moments, right? Like in power thing, it's over kind of very quickly. ah so I think endurance sports, I imagine I'm not speaking from experience can be even more of a challenge, but if you break it down into moments, like you said, and right, all I have to do is make it to the next sip of water and then make it to the next sip of water and then make it to the next tree, right? You can kind of compartmentalize that whole race.
00:44:12
Speaker
Um, I've heard from some guys, Navy navy SEALs, talking about like how they survive BUDS training. yeah And one admiral broke it down as you just go meal by meal, right?
00:44:22
Speaker
All right, I'll quit at lunch if i if lunch comes around. Then then lunch comes, no, no, I'll wait till dinner to quit. ah You focus on the next meal. We say this with our recruits in the Fire Academy. I'm one of the instructors for the Fire Academy as well.
00:44:36
Speaker
Don't focus on the 16 weeks. Just focus on... the evolution in front of you. Just focusing on mastering and getting through this evolution. Don't focus on the other four that you have to do today.
00:44:47
Speaker
al Yeah. It kind of helps break it down a little bit better. And same thing with like ah going back to strength sports. there are some anchors of each of the techniques that I use. So like for me, for my squat, there's a lot of, despite how it looks, there's a lot of wacky mechanics that can occur based on the day and the load and how I'm feeling. Like today was a great example. I took the heaviest squat of my prep And my eccentric was very shaky. um My eccentric has gotten very shaky over the last couple of years.
00:45:20
Speaker
And I kind of just mentally say my to myself, if I just hold my brace and just push really hard, good things will happen. Even if I miss the lift at minimum, I'll stay with the bar.
00:45:33
Speaker
Yeah, you'll stay healthy. Yeah. Right. But to try to break down or actively cue every single thing you should theoretically be actively cueing doesn't work. You pick a couple of key things and you focus on that and that's it.
00:45:49
Speaker
And with enough training repetition, like you said, you don't think you just do and things just happen. Yeah, the idea is like the more autonomy you have, the more freedom you have to express your your strength, the more you can just focus on force output because you've already done all the important stuff in the in the training, right? You've already put the thought process. You've already made it as me mechanical as you can so that it's automatic when it needs to be automatic. And I think as ah as a coach and as an athlete, that's like what you're focusing on. You're trying to get into that flow state.
00:46:19
Speaker
And the only way to get into that flow state is like the amount of not just hours that you put into it, but the amount of hours of intense focus that you put into it. And one of the things that we touched on is like within this paradigm of recording yourself and even having friends and social media, right? Like how much focused attention are you putting into the work you're doing versus everything else that surrounds that love? Like, did I get the right angle for my video?
00:46:55
Speaker
um You know, am I scrolling on social media in between my sets? Therefore, when I start to do my next set, I got to I'm a little bit more distracted. Right. Right. So how much focused effort are you able because we know through neuroscience research that like.
00:47:11
Speaker
The more you can focus on something, the more you get those connections of the mind that form those memories, that form those synapses so that things fire a lot faster and a lot more forceful.
00:47:23
Speaker
but That's only through focused attention that we can do that. So are we doing that in the gym or are we setting ourself up for failure by focusing on all the external stuff around us?
00:47:35
Speaker
so So I think it can kind of go both ways, depending on who you are as a person. ah For me, i am a very turn it on and turn it off hard person, right?
00:47:48
Speaker
I can only get amped up for that squat right before I do it. If I... spend my entire rest period mulling around about the next squat and thinking about the rest of the session or the rest of the meet or whatever it is.
00:48:03
Speaker
It's just too much of being absorbed into that world. um So I personally like hard distractions between sets and on meet day, honestly, um because I just don't have the mental endurance or even the physical endurance to be turned on for an entire day or an entire training session like that. I don't.
00:48:27
Speaker
um i When I did the Arnold Classic in 2016, there was an athlete that was there that was like actively pacing the floor and huffing and puffing the entire meet. And like they were actively trying to focus, but they ended up, it was a very, very long day. It was like over a 12 hour long meet by the end of deadlifts or right before deadlifts, they had absolutely nothing left in the tank.
00:48:51
Speaker
Yeah. So I think there's a difference. Focus can come down to the individual. Well, I think there's a difference between arousal and focus, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:49:02
Speaker
I think that's what you're touching on, right? Like I tell my athletes, you know, because I have some athletes that are also coaches and they're going to coach their athletes in day one and then they're – or going to coach their athletes in session A and then they compete in session B. And I tell them, you know, like don't get overly excited for your athletes because you're going have this adrenaline dump constantly, right? You're going to have this – arousal curve that you need to focus on yourself for.
00:49:32
Speaker
So when I say focus, and I'm glad you brought that up, the idea is, are we focused on the things that matter, right? Are we focused on technique? Are we focused on you know, perfecting the lift? Are we focused on that type of stuff as opposed to oh man, somebody walked in front of my camera while i was doing my rep. So now i'm more worried about that than I am about my my rep. That's what I mean by by focus. So I'm glad you brought that up. Arousal is definitely something that every individual has to figure out for themselves.
00:50:03
Speaker
um But I agree with you that I would say the majority of athletes need to have that rest in between arousal.
00:50:15
Speaker
Because if you are constantly like going, you're going to leave nothing in the tank for when, for when you actually need it. So you have to have that push of, I can turn it on, I can turn it off. And that's a skill that I'm sure it took time for you to, to master.
00:50:32
Speaker
It's not something that is intuitive. No, no, certainly not. It definitely just takes, uh, experience. So for now that going back to that, that, that, that focus, I don't really know. it kind of just happens, honestly. Like I, I don't know how to express to somebody else to do it other than just a lot of repetition, a lot of experience, like, ah people walking in front of me when I'm squatting, I welcome it.
00:50:57
Speaker
Like I want, something to try to steal my attention because that's kind of how it is on meet day especially doing like these big money meets it's like the lights are flashing the live stream the camera there's people walking back and forth but honestly when it comes down to actually executing the lift especially in a competition setting like i can't see or hear anything ah Same. like i yeah i yeah i can't I can't see at all. like All my biggest squats, i it's almost like I was blind, for example. Then and then when it comes down to even like hearing,
00:51:32
Speaker
I honestly don't hear the rack command. I just kind of wait and then just put it back. yeah Same thing with the press command. Like I try to, I've kind of trained my bench to have a pause that is going to get a press command from most judges. Cause I usually just can't hear it.
00:51:50
Speaker
So yeah, I think a lot of that just happens unconsciously for me at this point. i think it's mostly just experience related. and Yeah. Yeah. And we, we touched on this idea of like, you know, the mindset of going into it and you brought up um with the team aspect, like you're only as good as you, as your weakest link. um And, and,
00:52:08
Speaker
from From military experience, we know that there's going to be weak links in in your group, right? And from a leadership perspective, it's our job to find where their strengths are and like build them up, give them give them the freedom to grow into the person that they they can be, as opposed to just saying, you're not living up to the standard we're going to get rid of you within, within the fire department. I'm sure you come across that, right? Because. Oh, all the time. Right. Because the vetting process is not as good as we, we want it to be right. The standards aren't as high.
00:52:44
Speaker
So how do you, from a leadership perspective, um build that, that group to be the best group that they can be knowing that each individual has their own weaknesses and their, their own strengths. What,
00:52:56
Speaker
What are you doing or what is what is the leadership in your unit doing? That's building that that's, that's incentivizing people to grow and and become more. It's, it's, it's kind of just, again, it's like going back to coaching. It's just meeting your athlete where they are. Right.
00:53:11
Speaker
um The fire service is not the military. ah And you were just talking about even in the military, you know, there are high and low performers. But yeah, but I don't need a team of Navy SEALs to be an effective firefighter. I don't.
00:53:26
Speaker
This job has been done by ordinary people for hundreds of years and it works out just fine. Right. um But it's kind of focusing on, OK, what is this person like in front of me and where are they at and how can I make them a little bit better?
00:53:40
Speaker
I'm not trying to make them into something they're not. um So when I first got promoted, I'll just speak in general terms. I had a person ah that I was supervising that their performance where i wasn't where I wanted it to be.
00:53:57
Speaker
um They're not the hard charger. They're not super obsessed with the job. They're not going to go out and take classes and vote their whole life to this like I am or other people are. But, okay, what is this person good at?
00:54:10
Speaker
There are things that we do other than fires. And honestly, most of what we do is things other than fires. ah Something that this individual had and is just excellent patient care and personal skills on medical calls.
00:54:26
Speaker
So, all right, they're doing this really well. So when they're doing this really well, it's affording that praise and recognizing showing them that I recognize that what they're doing is positive.
00:54:37
Speaker
um In terms of other firefighting tasks, so this individual, I'll try to break this down into terms that can be understood and that are not necessarily technical.
00:54:49
Speaker
um might have to pause this too. How can I say this? Oh
00:54:59
Speaker
oh yeah, so i've I've kind of got it right. So this person was lacking a little bit with physical strength, right? Well, there are a variety of methods that we can use and techniques that we can use to lift the heavy objects that we need.
00:55:14
Speaker
So like one example is ladder raises. So when I raise a ladder, i unless it's the 35 foot ladder, which is the heaviest one that we carry, i like just power clean it to my shoulders, right?
00:55:25
Speaker
This person cannot do that, but that's fine. So we have them walk it up from one end and slowly slide it up to their shoulders and they're able to do it. Or just recognizing, hey, if we do have to deploy a ladder in the field, I can't count on this person to throw the ladder by themselves and I'm going to have to aid them and i'm going to have to adjust my tactics accordingly.
00:55:44
Speaker
And that's fine, right? You know, not everybody is at that capability level. ah physically another thing too was um we had a conversation about uh down firefighter removal it's called rit rapid intervention team functions so this person expressed to me hey listen you know you're a bigger guy i really am nervous that if something happens to you i might not be able to physically remove you So there's more to a firefighter going down than just facilitating the rescue yourself, giving clear radio communications, getting the resources directed to where they need to go in calm, efficient manner manner versus just like panicking and screaming on the radio um and not necessarily moving me, but getting me packaged to be moved by someone else coming to render aid to me.
00:56:37
Speaker
So that's kind of what we focused on for a little bit is radio communications. Like, because if you don't train on that, you're going to sound chaotic and crazy. But if I train this person on how to speak on the radio really effectively, they'll be able to direct those resources to me.
00:56:52
Speaker
And with the down firefighter packaging and removal, so like my plan typically for removing a down firefighter is just grabbing them because I have the the strength level to do that.
00:57:03
Speaker
But there's some ah products on the market. It basically is just like a... like a canvas sling. yeah And there's different techniques that you can use to rig up this canvas sling to drag somebody.
00:57:16
Speaker
So we were able to purchase this for her and we practice using this canvas sling and all of a sudden she's now able to move me. So then I was like, all right, the deal is off. You can remove me from the building. You just have to use different techniques than maybe you or I would.
00:57:33
Speaker
But if you don't meet the person where they are and figure out how you can pivot, now you're not going to get the maximum benefit out of that individual, you know? So yeah, it just really comes down to meeting people where they are and, you know, understanding everyone's going to have strengths and weaknesses. I have weaknesses, uh, technical rescue in the fire department, rope rescue. That is not my thing.
00:57:53
Speaker
You know, it's something I struggle with. So if something is, somebody is struggling with something maybe that I don't, who am I to judge? You know, yeah I'm not a hundred percent perfect. There's no thing as being a hundred percent perfect on this job. So yeah,
00:58:08
Speaker
meeting people where they are. That's really what comes down to. Yeah. And I think one of the beautiful things about strength training is that it does, it shows you that your weaknesses aren't something that can, that defines you or that's a bad thing, right? it's just something that everyone has and we know we can work on it, right?
00:58:25
Speaker
Like lifting weights and strength training and teaches us that we can build our weaknesses. And I think people that don't have that background have a tendency to see their weaknesses as something they want to hide and mask, but because you don't want to seem inferior. You don't want to seem like you can't do what you do.
00:58:43
Speaker
um So without that background in in the firefighter community, is that something that you guys adamantly like look to as far as trying to make it known that your weaknesses are something that we can we can work on? They're not something that you need to hide. Like, how do you get people to have confidence when they know that they have things that they're not necessarily the the best at? Like what are some of besides you just training and and redundancy or, or is that it?
00:59:15
Speaker
So a lot of it, it gets tricky with the culture of the fire service. And this isn't just my department. This is everywhere. um We have a very big problem with being forthcoming about what we're not good at because there is this expectation of perfection.
00:59:35
Speaker
Right. Listen, when somebody's house is on fire, somebody's kids are trapped. Yes, we need to be perfect. Right. Are we ever perfect? No, never. Right. um It's getting our skill levels up to a certain standpoint that's acceptable and then kind of working on the mental and physical skills to be able to pivot, to recognize when something's not going good and being able to go to plan B. An advantage I've definitely gotten from lifting weights is being forced to be so honest about what my weaknesses are, right?
01:00:08
Speaker
Going back to that culture, that air of perfection, we have a very bad tendency in the fire service to, talk badly about each other, right? Oh, this guy sucks. This girl sucks, right?
01:00:20
Speaker
What it comes down to a lot of times is deflection. That person is insecure about their own flaws. So if they're not the worst person of the day, of the week, or the month, and somebody else is doing it, now I look better, right?
01:00:32
Speaker
um It's something I'm not afraid to do in the fire services. Like yeah like I was just talking with technical rescue, like, hey, yeah this isn't my thing. I'm not good at this. I struggle with this, right? um Kind of when we're trying to build up other members,
01:00:45
Speaker
Making training a safe space to fail is really important. So like when I'm leading recruit evolutions in recruit school, almost everything I teach, I have a story behind about how I screwed it up in the field.
01:00:58
Speaker
yeah And it actually turned out to be valuable because now I'll never make that mistake again because I have this point of reference. So now through me telling you this story and showing you the textbook technique, but also parlaying it with how this could go wrong in the real world based on experience, maybe you won't make that mistake yourself.
01:01:18
Speaker
You'll probably go out and make other mistakes, but knowing that, like as a recruit, somebody that's being told as an expert in front of you is admitting, hey, we can make mistakes and we can recover from them. That's how you get better.
01:01:32
Speaker
I think kind of helps change that culture on like a micro level. I'm not going to say on a macro level. um Another advantage I would say from lifting weights too is, you know, we're constantly breaking down form and technique and how can I get better and diet and training and psychology.
01:01:49
Speaker
You kind of learn the best thing I've learned from lifting weights in terms of transitioning into the fire department is actually how to get better at skills. breaking things down, body mechanics.
01:02:04
Speaker
All right, I'm not good at this particular evolution. How can I break this down into digestible, smaller drills and components to make the larger execution of it better?
01:02:15
Speaker
um I think that's been very helpful as well. So I try to do it on a micro level, ah try to get these things within my frame of control a little bit better for others.
01:02:27
Speaker
Yeah, no, I think that's that's such a ah great point of of being able to break things down and simplify them essentially and know that they're tangible things that you can like get better at.
01:02:40
Speaker
I think that's an important for people because like we talked about earlier, this idea of ah this is something that I'm i'm not good at. And if I look at it, all right, so we're back.
01:02:51
Speaker
We had a bit of a technical issue, but what we were talking about is this idea of You have these these big things that you're looking at projecting into the future of what you want to accomplish. And it makes it seem very overwhelming, right? So if you have your weakness and it's up there and you're like, man, I'm just not very good at that. And that's all you're focusing on.
01:03:10
Speaker
It makes it very difficult to one, like be excited to go and and try to get better at it. um But two, it makes it very difficult for you to actually like get better at something when it's not big.
01:03:23
Speaker
So what you were talking about is like, can we break it down into chunks? Can we get better at one part of it at a time? And I think from ah a both physical and mental perspective, I think that's a great way to approach any any task at hand. And you're and you're right, lifting weights is one of those things that it does allow you to understand that dynamic um much, much better.
01:03:45
Speaker
And from those lessons that that you've learned through lifting, would also be curious to know um your your dad's a firefighter as well.
01:03:55
Speaker
And now you're a firefighter. What are some of the lessons that he taught you growing up as ah as a kid? And um why did you did you pursue firefighting?
01:04:06
Speaker
um Because it was something that has always been a part of your life and and he did it. So my fire service journey is a little bit unconventional for being second generation for sure.
01:04:17
Speaker
um Most kids that are second generation, third generation firefighters, they grew up in the firehouse. It's like the only thing they ever wanted to do. That was not the case for me at all whatsoever. So I did grow up in the firehouse.
01:04:31
Speaker
Um, but my father and I are about as polar opposite as you can possibly be. Right. Uh, so especially once I got into like my teenage years and that rebelliousness, i was like, all right, well, whatever he does and is good at, I wouldn't like and don't want to do.
01:04:49
Speaker
Um, I was originally going to school for physical therapy. solely because i was so obsessed with lifting weights and never thought about my future. And I'm like, oh, that has something to do with the gym. I i might be okay with that. i Didn't like it.
01:05:05
Speaker
College really didn't work out for me too well. ah Did not finish. Went home at 22 years old with absolutely no plan, working like dead-end minimum wage jobs.
01:05:18
Speaker
My father kind of made me take one of the fire service entry-level exams as like a backup plan. and didn't really want to take it. And then a few years went by and nothing was going on good in my life in terms of professional career development.
01:05:33
Speaker
But out of that, I was kind of like, you know what, maybe I do want to give this a chance. And I had an opportunity almost come up and and it didn't go through for budgetary reasons.
01:05:45
Speaker
And then i was like, you know what? Even though this isn't really having anything to do with lifting weights, it is a physical job. It seems exciting. There's a lot of adrenaline that goes into it. There's that team camaraderie aspect. you know Maybe this is for me.
01:05:58
Speaker
So I ended up getting hired at 24 and it was like the same exact thing pretty much that happened with weightlifting. It was like, wow, where has this been all my life? like I can't believe I really never thought about this until now.
01:06:10
Speaker
um In terms of... being on the department I'm on. So I'm on the same department that he was. And it's by far more of a blessing but it sometimes can be a curse if you don't think about it the right way.
01:06:27
Speaker
So he retired with 30 years on the department and was probably the best engine company officer of his era. Like was an absolute legend on the job.
01:06:40
Speaker
So kind of following in his footsteps and, basically being given the answer key for how to succeed was a huge advantage. I'm not going to say that it wasn't, but,
01:06:53
Speaker
Part of like the mental struggle that I went through when I was kind of trying to find my own way was not being in his shadow, not being the guy that's like, oh, my dad, my dad, my dad. Right. Because it comes up every single day. Oh, how's your dad doing? Oh, he was the man. I miss him. Right.
01:07:09
Speaker
It was trying to form my own identity and not just be a continuation of him. In terms of his technical expertise into the niche that he put himself in the fire department with engine company operations and ah pump hydraulics and all those sort of things, I will never, ever be as technically good as he was.
01:07:30
Speaker
Never. I don't think I'll even retire with the immaculate reputation that he had. um but I've kind of gotten myself interested in other niches in the fire department to form my own identity and be my own person.
01:07:46
Speaker
And that's something I stress to ah newer members that are also second or third generation is like, Hey, you don't have to be your dad. Right. And depending on who your dad was, because this job does kind of run in the family. Sometimes you may not want to be your dad.
01:08:01
Speaker
You know I worked at a fireman's bar as a bar back, in New Haven before I got hired in Bridgeport. And there was a young lieutenant that I talked to there and he was going through something similar, but on the opposite ends, his father was actually a deputy chief on the department, but was not popular at all whatsoever.
01:08:22
Speaker
And he was starting his career and now in a middle management role. And he wasn't his father, but he had to live in his father's negative shadow. And it really negatively affected him, you know,
01:08:36
Speaker
So that whole concept of kind of trying to form your identity can be a little tricky, you know. But I am very blessed that he gave me so much inside scoop on how to succeed and how to develop a good reputation for yourself before I got there for sure.
01:08:53
Speaker
um It was really great too because he retired – like five or six years. I had worked there for five or six years before he retired. So like actually getting to catch fires with him and work with him on scenes was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I got to do it a bunch of times.
01:09:11
Speaker
um Because you know between 18 and 24, to be honest, like when I was going through my developmental phase and some of my bad habits and trying to figure but myself out as a man and establish myself in life, I was rebellious and I was really adversarial. So it kind of helped mend that relationship. you know Getting to be somewhere in life and getting myself squared away and getting to do something in common with each other was was great.
01:09:37
Speaker
It was great. Really one of the best things ever. Yeah, no, that's that's awesome. A couple of things that come to mind is one, like like you said, like there's always expectations when you follow in family's footsteps. And sometimes it could be expectations that you have to live up to that are like extremely high in your case or expectations that you have to overcome that are extremely negative in that other person's case. And you have to have that right mindset.
01:10:04
Speaker
of defining your own role and your own i identity in in what you do. And it seems like that, did that come did that come easy? It seems like it came easy to you. Like, why why do you think that is? Like, why were we able to think that way?
01:10:21
Speaker
It came easy to me in terms of like trying, like finding my own niches, because I genuinely was interested in other niches in the department that he did not have. Right.
01:10:32
Speaker
ah So to kind of break this down in in simple terms, so like there's different types of units within fire departments, the engine company, you can kind of think of it as like the infantry. That's like the bulk of operations. That's really the backbone of the fire service. Yeah.
01:10:48
Speaker
They are responsible for securing a water supply from a hydrant, deploying hose lines and physically putting out the fire with water. Right. Then there's ladder companies. So ladder companies are responsible for obviously ground ladders or apparatus based ladders. Like you see the ladders drive around on top of the trucks, cutting holes in the roof for ventilation to let smoke and heat out and doing a search and rescue for victims. Right.
01:11:12
Speaker
So I just genuinely found myself more interested in ladder company operations. And he spent his whole career on the engine and just enjoyed that and took pride in it.
01:11:23
Speaker
um So it was nice to kind of find my own niche. Like one of the reasons I got interested in that niche too, because I did have a pretty bad fear of heights when I first got on. So I was like, oh, i don't I don't want to be afraid of this. I want maximum exposure to working at height and feeling uncomfortable.
01:11:39
Speaker
And by the end of my career on one of the latter companies, i got very, very comfortable with working at height. um Another thing, too, that I've kind of gotten into as a niche is I've been able to use my...
01:11:55
Speaker
backgrounds in powerlifting and strongman to our recruit program. So I'm one of the lead instructors for the physical fitness compostion ah component of our recruit training program.
01:12:07
Speaker
And that's kind of like my out now for powerlifting. It's like, okay, well, The writing's on the wall with competitive powerlifting continuing to be a thing in my life.
01:12:18
Speaker
I still love to train, still love human performance. How can I continue to do this after competitive powerlifting has ended? And the pathway for me, it seems like, has been being involved in the recruit program and helping recruits get more physically fit and getting kind of the programming that's involved in that. Cause it's you recruit programs around the country. It's pretty much like 1950s military training, you know, pushups, sit ups, mile runs, stuff like that.
01:12:47
Speaker
Or you kind of have people, the big other thing too is ah like CrossFit. They make like these CrossFit wads that really you aren't the best type of programming. They're kind of just a smoke fest.
01:12:59
Speaker
Um, So it's being able to transition some of the science and evidence-based best ways to build human performance stepwise and kind of change the programming for recruit training.
01:13:14
Speaker
So just finding my own niches and helped a lot. Yeah, no, I can i can see how that could be the case. um And then you also talked about the idea of like working with him gave you a ah different perspective on your guys' relationship.
01:13:30
Speaker
um yeah Can you elaborate on that a little bit more? Like what what changed in – the way that you look at your father now working with him, doing the job as opposed to before that, like what, what are some of the things that matriculated out of that?
01:13:46
Speaker
So one of the, I had like a coming of age movement when I was a rookie, like on recruit rotation, we rotate through all the different firehouses um for your first six months. It's kind of like how cops do FTO before you get formally assigned. yeah,
01:14:03
Speaker
I was scheduled to work on engine one that night, which is our busiest company. It's anywhere from four to 5,000 runs a year. So like 15 to 20 calls a day on top of all the other stuff we do.
01:14:14
Speaker
A lot of times that company is out all night, every night. You never see the bed. You like roll into the next morning, like an absolute zombie. So it was like my first time working in engine one, getting my ass kicked at night. And I was sitting up in the kitchen at like four in the morning over a cup of coffee, just sitting there with my head in my hands. Like,
01:14:32
Speaker
Back in the day, the schedule, we work 24-hour shifts now. but Back in the day, it used to be three days on, three didn and three days off, three night shifts in a row on, and then three days off.
01:14:43
Speaker
So he always worked two jobs. He's an electrician. So I'm thinking like, okay, and And also, too, not just with Bridgeport, with pretty much most fire departments in general, it was busier in terms of fire duty 20, 30 years ago than it is now.
01:14:58
Speaker
So I'm like, all right, this dude used to do this all night. Wake up the next day, go to some construction site and pull wire and dig trenches all day. Come back, do it again.
01:15:09
Speaker
Wake up, go do manual labor again, like three days in a row. And then he comes home to me and I'm mouthing off and staying half past curfew. Like, Oh my God, just realizing like what it took to raise myself and my sister and give us all the resource and the opportunity. And like,
01:15:32
Speaker
Like, he paid for that with his body. You know what I mean? And, like, even growing up, I really didn't understand that and took a lot of it for granted. And when he was coming down on me and, you know, oh you should be doing this, you should be doing that, blah, blah, blah. I thought he just picking on me, but it was really he wanted the best for me.
01:15:49
Speaker
And, yeah it was just a coming-of-age moment. And, like, now I – I kind of see myself doing it with my son. Like, all right, if I want to give him a life that I had, like, this is what it's going to cost. Like it's, it's going to hurt, you know?
01:16:03
Speaker
Um, but yeah, it just, it just helped men's that 18 to 24 year old adversarial rebellious thing and kind of have something in common. Cause I've always felt so opposite to him.
01:16:16
Speaker
He's very type a, like to the absolute max and, I'm type A with my training, but very type B with everything else. I'm about as laid back and nonchalant as you can be.
01:16:27
Speaker
um But being able to talk about fires and talk about improving skill sets and listening to his stories and actually having a position of reference to listen to them, it's just really cool.
01:16:40
Speaker
you know like to have like I'm like, oh, we have something in common now. you know Yeah. yeah Has that opened the doors for you guys to have more in-depth conversation. Like what I've found with with my parents as as I've gotten older,
01:16:55
Speaker
My dad has some health complications, so that obviously makes this idea of of death and him not being around more more salient. So I've spent a lot of time getting to know him and know what it was like for him growing up and in North Carolina. And same thing with my with my mom. And that was something that I didn't start doing until maybe like five or six years ago. And I'm i'm kicking myself now because my dad...
01:17:21
Speaker
he doesn't have the memory that he used to have. So I'm not going to be able to get this like essence of, of who he was as a man. And in those times, um you know, and, but, but the things that we can talk about now are things that like 10 years ago, weren't really that important to me. Um,
01:17:39
Speaker
Right. Is that something that you guys have been able to do or or is it still talking about like firefighting it and what is this evolution taught you about your dad that maybe you didn't know 10 years ago?
01:17:52
Speaker
Really, it's just understanding where he's coming from now. like yeah The job has made me understand what his lived experience was as a husband and a father and kind of his perspective on things and why he pays attention to certain things in a certain way, ah how he talks or what he thinks is important. Right.
01:18:14
Speaker
Um, something I'll go deep on this. I don't care. We've had this conversation many times. Um, the standard in my house growing up with grades or school or life or even sport. Like when I was doing strongman, my dad was on the road with me and that was one of the other best times in my life. We were doing strongman shows like every month, like going to different States. And that was a great time.
01:18:38
Speaker
And like, He was fired up, dude. Like we were going to win, right? We were going to win. But there's always been this expectation of like doing the best you possibly can and achieving the most is like it, right?
01:18:53
Speaker
um Now that I've been able to understand like the physical toll of the job on the body and the risks you take and the scary situations and how hard you have to work just to get by, ah kind of understand now why he came across as so harsh and it wasn't so harsh.
01:19:15
Speaker
His love language was, I want you to do the absolute best you can so you can be better than me. Now it didn't always come across like that. You know what I mean?
01:19:27
Speaker
Um, he had a very, very different childhood than I did. You know, uh, grew up in poverty and grew up with abuse going on. Right. And I never experienced those things.
01:19:39
Speaker
So kind of his whole clash with me and him growing up when he's like, I'm working so hard for you so you can do better. But I'm like getting everything handed to me growing up. And I'm like, I don't get what you're talking about. Right.
01:19:51
Speaker
But then when you just sit in their shoes for a little minute, which is like what the job has allowed me to do, I'm like, oh, now I get it. Okay. Yeah. This makes sense. This makes sense. So like something I'm trying to do with my own son now, as he starts to age and we start having a more conversational relationship, and this is not a complaint about like my childhood or my relationship with him at all. the the but I had the best parents you could ever have, honestly.
01:20:19
Speaker
Um, But you can set high expectations and facilitate resources for your children to succeed, but there also can be a softness to it, right?
01:20:30
Speaker
You can also say, hey, I'm really proud of what you have done and what you're able to accomplish. Here's how you can get the next thing versus just, no, next thing, next thing, next thing, next thing, right?
01:20:44
Speaker
um Because that's kind of what I experienced. And it was a big point of contention um definitely had to work through some therapy on it, but I finally like understood it was actually kind of recent.
01:20:55
Speaker
Like, Oh, that was just your love language. Like that wasn't you being harsh, you know, some men, especially, you know, like you're talking about your father growing up back then, you know, men men never heard. I love you. I'm proud of you. You know, like they never heard it. So they might not know how to give that themselves.
01:21:14
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it's been it's it's been interesting. it It totally has just transformed our relationship, just understanding a piece of what he went through. Yeah.
01:21:26
Speaker
Yeah. No, that's that's great. It's this – I mean, i my mom was born in Columbia and moved here, and I think there's something about – um like immigrant, hardworking families that have this desire of like, we want you to have more and we want you to do better.
01:21:45
Speaker
um and that can come in the the scope of like conditional love of, you know, oh, you got A's. So therefore I'm proud of you. And then if you got a C, it's like, I'm not as proud. And then, so then you're like, okay. So now I have to get A's in order for you to always be proud of me. Right. And it's like,
01:22:06
Speaker
this understanding of conditional versus unconditional love, but also the complexity of like, they don't, they didn't know that. Right. They didn't know that. No. Right.
01:22:17
Speaker
Right. And then you take that lesson and you try to apply it as your father. Now, what, how are you how are you walking in that tire up? I know your son is is still,
01:22:30
Speaker
not at that age where this could potentially be an issue. But like, how, how are you going to try to work that tightrope of like pushing him to achieve great things in his life?
01:22:46
Speaker
Because he'll thank you for that later, but also letting him know that like, no matter what you do, I'm going to like, I'm going to love you no matter what. Right. Right. Right. right Yeah. It's, It's going to be difficult and I'm gonna have to think about it because it's it's it's a very tight rope, right? Because if you're just like too much their friend and too much like, oh, everything's all good no matter what you do, then you know kind of bad things can happen.
01:23:10
Speaker
um But I don't think you know having an emotional relationship and saying those soft things and pushing towards expectations are mutually exclusive things.
01:23:26
Speaker
Right. So like kind of our relationship now. So like I understand where he's coming from. on My father comes from like on a lot of things. So I'm a lieutenant now. He retired as a lieutenant. He took several tests to be captain, just kind of could never make captain would always come up just short.
01:23:43
Speaker
So we can't have a conversation now to this day without and involved being a captain or a chief. Right. But. I don't get upset about it because I'm confident in myself that, hey, i'm it's okay to be happy with what you're doing right now.
01:24:00
Speaker
And if that's the goal, then that can be the goal. it doesn't have to be the goal right now. And even if you don't get there, so he never made captain or chief, but he has ah far more immaculate reputation than most people in those ranks.
01:24:15
Speaker
So just external accomplishment is not – the end all be all to success, right? Like something I've talked about with my wife, you know, um seeing what's going on with youth and young men. Like, I don't think it's just exclusive to this generation, but we've kind of talked and been like, all I want him to do is just be a good dude.
01:24:36
Speaker
Like, i don't even care if he's like, wildly successful or anything like that. Right. If he's a gentleman and treats women appropriately and is respectful and is a good citizen is a good son, like everything else is kind of whatever, like, cause you can be this wildly successful person on paper and like your personal life is in shambles, you know?
01:24:59
Speaker
So they're, they're not success in life and success in career and success in material things are, they did they don't they did' not mentally they're not mutually exclusive. you know We just recently had ah two chiefs on my fire department. One just committed suicide and another one just attempted suicide. And you look at them on paper, you're like, oh my God, these are the most successful guys that it could ever be. Their resume is this long, but their personal life and their mental health were in shambles.
01:25:31
Speaker
So it kind of just'm I'm really just trying to think about how to just show them that If you do want to succeed, the mental health and being confident in yourself and enjoying the moment that you're currently in as well is still important. is still a part of it.
01:25:47
Speaker
Like if you want to be a total success, it has to be a total of everything, not just pieces of paper and money in the bank or rank. Yeah. So now that you're a dad, um and you want these things for your son, like these these are the things that you want him to grow up to be.
01:26:03
Speaker
is that something that is always in your mind of like, I need to model this in order for him to see what a good man is? I think that's part of it. Yeah. um You know, like 18 to 24 for me was a very rough time. And like, I was not living the way that I was raised at all.
01:26:25
Speaker
um But I think what was able to reverse it for me and what
01:26:33
Speaker
but what was able to reverse it for me and kind of being able to find my own way again was I did have that example growing up. right And then even when I was living wrong, what prevented me from living way worse was knowing, hey, I still had a good example growing up and like that line is too far.
01:26:53
Speaker
Like, even though I'm outside of the lines of how I was raised that, that level, I can't do that. Yeah. So yeah, it it is, it is definitely important to demonstrate that to your children, I think. And, but I think part of, it's not just me, but our generation of parents, because like you were talking about that your parents are immigrants, right?
01:27:16
Speaker
You're, you're, you're an immigrant, right? You're an immigrant. um my parents were children of ah first-generation immigrants. you know That emotional connection can kind of be...
01:27:30
Speaker
blurred because you're so focused on just achieving material success and physical success and kind of making it in life. But then we have to go back and understand like, okay, like what did they go through? The odds were so stacked against them with absolutely everything.
01:27:44
Speaker
Right. The reason why my father, I think pushed this so hard, it was a, because he truly believed that we were smarter and better and more capable of achieving than him.
01:27:56
Speaker
But also too, like he didn't have all the resources growing up and was still able to succeed at some level. So like, all right, I think you're better than me and you have all these resources. Oh my God, what can you do?
01:28:09
Speaker
Right. You can be so much better. You know, it's like if my son ever wanted to lift weights, like I, I don't, I'm going to push him to do that at all. Right. But like, Oh man, if my son came to me at 10 years old and was like, dad, I want to be a power after a strong. I'm like, oh man, you can do some cool stuff. Cause like, you're going all the right information right away.
01:28:26
Speaker
Yeah. You know, but I think part of what our generation of parents is many I've talked to at least is trying to do is be a little bit more aware of that emotional side of parenting.
01:28:40
Speaker
and be a little more softer in some things for sure. Yeah. Yeah. No, that makes, makes a lot of sense with, with your dad retiring and the legacy that he left behind.
01:28:52
Speaker
When you think about your retirement within the fire department and also the relationship with your dad, what, is what is the legacy that you would want to leave behind as your son and your firefighters remember you? Like what, what do you want them to remember about you?
01:29:13
Speaker
So, you know, uh, the fire department culture can be a little vicious, you know, cause there's this state of, uh, perfection that's constantly expected and it's impossible to meet it.
01:29:26
Speaker
It's impossible to meet it. Um, you're never going to be a hundred percent popular with everybody. It's just not how it works because, you know, we're all so type a, so high testosterone, so highly motivated. It's just a lot of personality clash.
01:29:42
Speaker
Um, but within the fire service, if you do the job, right. people can commonly agree on like, Hey, you know what? Like that guy, the ultimate compliment is, Hey, that guy was a good firefighter or especially in like a supervisory role.
01:29:58
Speaker
That guy took care of his guys. Right. So I will never be the world's best firefighter. You know, I I've accomplished much more lifting than I'll ever accomplish in the, the emergency services space.
01:30:10
Speaker
But just being able to say, Hey, you know what? That guy was a good guy and took care of his people and did the right thing. When the bell went off, that's good enough for me. That's good enough for me. um I think that really means everything because you're never going to be able to go out the door and do things perfect. A hundred percent of the time, you're never going be able to be friends with everybody when everybody is ah so varied in such extremes of personality, you know,
01:30:36
Speaker
um it's It's really just about doing the right thing by the public. you know um Sometimes, especially as the job goes on, people get little bit jaded and it affects their response and affects their interaction with the public, especially when you're working with drug-addicted populations and people with mental health and the homeless and...
01:30:56
Speaker
I just never want to mistreat somebody that's in one of those positions because like something we talk about in the firehouse is like we are we are way closer to them than we think they are. Like we're one we're one injury, we're one couple missed paychecks, you know, we're not above becoming this.
01:31:15
Speaker
So just doing the right thing by the most vulnerable populations and really caring about the job. And like we talked about previously to passing things on to the new people. That's one of the reasons I am involved in the training program at work.
01:31:30
Speaker
It is a huge tax on my life because it's like a 14 hour work day for four to six months when it happens. But. I feel like giving back to new recruits and giving them better training than I had is kind of like the ultimate payback for me for what the job has given to me in terms of positives. um and And with my son, you know, just be able to demonstrate what it means to be a good man and an an upright man and take care of your family. You know, I don't know if I could ever live up to my father in that regard because he was just so like –
01:32:06
Speaker
up here and unbelievable with that. But, um, just being able to connect with him emotionally better and, ah look after his mental health and realize that like, Hey, you can't, you know, men can cry and like, uh, you know, men can have deep feelings, but like, if we know how to manage those feelings, it actually makes a stronger than denying they exist and letting the consequences of denying that they exist ruin our personal lives.
01:32:35
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I like that. like So with your with your dad being the model that he was, you said that therapy was something that helped you understand that. Was that was that hard for you understand?
01:32:53
Speaker
let yourself be vulnerable in therapy when you grow up in a situation where maybe that emotion is something that is not so much expressed. Like we, we have people coming in through our studies and I like to talk to people um and get to get to know them and I have found that there are a lot of people out there that still think of therapy as something that is like soft and something that they don't need. Right. Like men don't need therapy. That's still a stigma that that's around. Was that something that you overcome yourself?
01:33:27
Speaker
So honestly, no. And I think it all comes back to training. It really does. Right. um,
01:33:36
Speaker
I realized that being able to control my mental side going to make me healthier, not just physically, but mentally, obviously. And being able to be introspective and take self inventory and be honest and like throw your dirty laundry out in front of somebody, it's the only way to get over a problem.
01:33:57
Speaker
You know what mean? It's like the same, thing so like with problems in the gym, like if you're having consistency issues or sticking points or things you need to change about your training, your approach, If you don't like admit that you have the problem and address it, like you're never going to get better.
01:34:10
Speaker
um So, no, I don't think it was really a hard transition for me. Like I'm honestly like my friend groups. I'm like, I'm i'm an overshare. I put everything out there. I don't care. oh I think it's way better to be honest and above board about things. um Maybe I would honestly say on the flip side, because some of that.
01:34:31
Speaker
ah emotional connection was missing maybe being able to like be honest about it and very before forthcoming was like me yearning for that and yeah it was kind of able to become naturally because i always just kind of wanted to have it yeah but yeah it really hasn't been honest it hasn't been hard and honest at all honestly yeah no yeah i think you might be right with that um perspective on why it was so easy for you. um Something too, I try to impress on new recruits and my friends, my close personal friends that are within the fire service is like being so honest.
01:35:10
Speaker
with my discussions about mental health and like the fact that I go to therapy, um, cause it's obviously a huge problem in the fire service, you know, um, like the two men that i was speaking of before the two assistant chiefs, the one that unfortunately committed suicide and the other one that attempted it.
01:35:25
Speaker
Um, it really came down to unmanaged mental health. Like I think if they were to able to reach out and identify these problems that were going on with their mental health, they would still be with us. And these things wouldn't have happened, you know, unregulated,
01:35:42
Speaker
ah mental health can just have such a profound impact in your life and it can ruin your personal life. You know, ah with like my extended family, um, there's some quirkiness in my extended family.
01:35:55
Speaker
Again, going back to first generation immigrants, some of the quirkiness is just unregulated mental health. And like, if you're able to sit down with a therapist and just be honest, like this wouldn't be a thing.
01:36:06
Speaker
It wouldn't be a thing at all. yeah So there's, um I just think there's empowerment into being able to address some of those issues. No, I agree. Definitely a lot of empowerment there. um And there's something special about being able to be vulnerable and be yourself and know that you're still going to be accepted and you're, you're actually going get stronger because you're doing that. I think there's a lot of positive feedback that comes with those things that makes you continue to want to pursue that, that growth.
01:36:35
Speaker
That's the sell I give to the first responder community. It's like, yeah you have feelings, whether you would want to admit them or not, you can either deny they exist and let those feelings run your life because they will.
01:36:49
Speaker
It's not the feelings that run your life. It's the problematic behavior that results from you suppressing it. Or you can just be forthcoming about it and learn to constructively work on your problems and, and manage it.
01:37:02
Speaker
Like another thing I break it down to the recruits is like, okay, so when you're sick, you go to the doctor, right? When you're having an episode of like, like mental illness has the terminology as such stigma, you know, you get mentally sick, right?
01:37:19
Speaker
If you're mentally sick, why would you not want to see a professional? you have a physical illness, you're going go see a professional. And just because you're going to therapy doesn't mean, i think one of the big stigmas in the fire service, especially when it comes to like PTSD is, all right, I'm feeling this type of way about this call or this incident that I had.
01:37:41
Speaker
ah If I go reach out to therapy now, I have every Tuesday in perpetuity, I have to sit on this couch and cry to somebody and they're going to put me on psych meds and it's going to be this thing I have to do for the rest of my life. Like that's just not how it is. Right.
01:37:56
Speaker
You know, like every time you get a cold doesn't mean you're on antibiotics for a lifetime. um like with my experiences with ah mental health, you know, like I've used mental ah marriage counseling and personal therapy as well.
01:38:09
Speaker
A lot of times it's just, oh, I, we have an hour long conversation two times a month, like in two or three sessions, the situation's pretty much resolved.
01:38:20
Speaker
Sometimes, hey, call me back in a month and check in. Sometimes it's, no, the issue's addressed and it's it's done, you know, and and the better you get, about being able to be introspective and kind of putting it all the out there, it makes the therapy process like way simpler.
01:38:36
Speaker
You know, like when your therapist doesn't have to try to pull information out of you and read between the lines, if you can lay it all out there, you can get in and out even quicker and get back on your way to feeling better a lot faster.
01:38:49
Speaker
Yeah. And then, like you said, everything you do in your life, work is required to get better at it. And mental health is something that you're not intrinsically like, understood. right and There are people that go to school to to teach those things. and It's like you go to places, you go to professionals to to learn, and you have to put the work in. and It is work. and It is a skill to develop how to communicate to your spouse, how to communicate to your child. right Those are things that aren't necessarily as intuitive as as we like them to be because we're were communicating in a style that
01:39:24
Speaker
is not effective based on the things that we saw growing up and the things that we think are effective. And it's like, we need someone to teach us what is effective communication. What is, you know, what can we overcome? And yeah, you're, you're right with that. It's, it's just like going to the gym, right? You have to put in the work to get better at it. It's not something that is just going to happen. And I think a lot of people think that that's part of the case is like, I'll figure it out on my own. It's like, well,
01:39:52
Speaker
wouldn't it be better if you just had somebody that can kind of guide you along and and help you out with it? Like, how are you going to figure it out on your own? again are you going to read books? Are you going to, like, no, I'll just like, I'll make it better. It's like, that doesn't work. Right. We, we know that. you If you have a long ongoing problem in your life and you're aware of it and it's not better right now, if you were going to make it better, like when you have already. Right. Yeah, not exactly. Exactly.
01:40:19
Speaker
So how do you, how do you balance everything? You hit your, an elite power lifter, you're a father, a husband, um, and now a firefighter, like you have all these things. How do you, how do you balance it and be successful in all aspects of of life? Because it's one thing to say, like, I balance a firefighter and I'm the best firefighter I can be, but then everything else falls to the wayside. It seems like you've been able to, um,
01:40:50
Speaker
grow and in all aspects of of of your life. And how do you balance that? How do you continue to grow? Like, what are some of the things that have allowed you to do that successfully? i'm not going say I'm perfect at balancing all the time.
01:41:03
Speaker
um I do the best I can with everything I'm involved in to the best of my ability. ah Sometimes that involves making mistakes and not being perfect, right?
01:41:16
Speaker
um Something that's helped for me is kind of limits on things. Right. Um, so with the power lifting, I've been doing this before I had my son. Um, but in terms of risk to personal health and it from consuming other areas of my life, like I'm a one media year guy.
01:41:36
Speaker
Um, and now that my career is coming to an end, it's either totaling 2100 or the age of 35, 35th birthday. And that's it. That's done.
01:41:49
Speaker
Right. I've kind of drawn up some non-negotiable red lines um with my career. Like I was like obsessed with my career, just like i'm obsessed with,
01:42:01
Speaker
powerlifting before I had my son and and now my son's in the picture and all right. I'm um limiting my overtime to this amount on certain days.
01:42:12
Speaker
i really don't try to work the weekends because that's family time. i'm not afraid to take days off anymore. I'm entitled to use my vacation days. um As much as I care about being the best firefighter that I can be and having a good reputation,
01:42:30
Speaker
It is a job and I'm here to do the right thing by the public, but provide for my family. And when I leave at the end of s shift, if there's some side reading, I want to do whatever, but like I have to mentally unplug from that and now go home to be a father, right?
01:42:52
Speaker
ah If someone doesn't like me or doesn't like what I did or thinks that I'm not into it, like I just don't care anymore. Like, kind of just have to set limits on things. But yeah, I would think setting, just setting limits on things is really important. Um, with balance, like it's hard to say that anybody is perfectly balanced, but at least with my relationship is like, just having like almost like formal check-in times and being like, okay, how are you doing? How are we doing? How are things going?
01:43:29
Speaker
um One of the things in the fire service that I think it's almost independent from PTSD, ah but they're pretty much described the same way.
01:43:45
Speaker
You're in the psychology side of things. Have you heard of like operator syndrome? Yeah. So like that's another cell I used for the fire service to like kind of more think about their mental health and like avoid this PTSD stigma.
01:44:00
Speaker
Like I don't call it like PTSD. I think it's just like operator syndrome. Like we're just so used to being like wired tight and on and hyper vigilant and The big thing is constantly chasing like dopamine and excitement, right? So like, you know, there's times that ah like if I just had ah structure fire like a really bad medical the night before or had something crazy happen at work, I come home and talk to my wife and I listen to my wife talking and I'm like actively trying to listen and like I can't even hear her.
01:44:33
Speaker
You know, like, cause it's just like, you're, you're still not like come down yet. And like, we're so used to having exciting, crazy things happen that like, if it's not exciting or crazy, like you don't want to pay attention, you know? Yeah.
01:44:47
Speaker
yeah It's just really being aware of flaws and like how the other things that you're interested in can kind of take away from really what's important is family, you know?
01:44:58
Speaker
Yeah. Being able to have self inventory and, professional mental health is really the biggest things is the biggest advantages that I think have helped maintain balance to the best of my ability.
01:45:11
Speaker
Yeah. Do you have a do you have a process of shifting from job to father to power lifter? Like, is there a, is there a process that you go through to allow you to be present in each and every moment that you're there?
01:45:28
Speaker
So something I think helps really, is I live like 70 miles from where I work. So I have a long ride in and a long ride home. So the actual length of the ride helps me decompress, right?
01:45:44
Speaker
Like on a morning, that's just normal where I might listen to podcasts or music or whatever. But like if I had a rough shift, I will literally listen to like meditation music on the way home um to kind of be like, okay, we're going home now.
01:45:59
Speaker
Right. Like this is that world is over. yeah Some ah concept I kind of use to help transition between the roles is like, all right, I wear, i wear three hats.
01:46:12
Speaker
I'm an athlete. I'm a father. I'm a firefighter. So like when I'm at work, I'm taking a break from my family and powerlifting. When I'm with my family, I'm taking a break from powerlifting and work. you know ah When I'm in the gym, I'm taking a break from work and family. you know And I don't think it's bad to need to take a break from family to like, let, you know, especially when you have a young kid, i have the benefit of having a lot of help.
01:46:42
Speaker
I'm not shy about admitting it, you know, um my mother-in-law, my mother, but I'm not afraid to ask for help. Like, Hey, i had a bad night. Like, do you mind just watching them so I can crash for a couple hours or,
01:46:53
Speaker
You know, like alternating between if it's just me and my wife, like ah my wife was sick the other day and she's like, hey, I can't do this. Like, you mind just take care for the night? Yep. Go ahead. Right. And she's done it for me, too.
01:47:05
Speaker
So, um yeah, just just kind of thinking about hats that I take on and take off and just not being afraid to, like, let somebody know that you're overwhelmed and yeah ask for that help.
01:47:17
Speaker
Yeah. Again, the ability to communicate how you feel is one of the key themes that keeps coming up and your ability to stay mentally and physically well throughout your life. And I think that's such a valuable lesson for people to, to take away is this understanding of like, it's okay to seek help. It's okay to express that you need help and it's okay to um cultivate a community that is willing to help as well.
01:47:43
Speaker
Right. It's not a weakness. Well, no, no, no, that's, ah it just like, it it it all comes back to training. It's like being honest about what you're not good at is how you get better. Like, like, like no one is perfect at anything, whether it's, uh, career stuff or family stuff or sports stuff. It's just, there's no way to be perfect.
01:48:05
Speaker
Um, but that's not even in, that's not even an intimidating thing necessarily. Like that's what keeps you involved. That's what keeps you active. Right. Um, so like you were talking about at the beginning of the podcast, like,
01:48:18
Speaker
Talent, right? If we were perfect at everything we did, we wouldn't be too interested in doing it, right? You see the same thing with these flashes in the pan that come along every few years in powerlifting. Like, oh my God, this guy came out of nowhere in total 2,200, 2,300 pounds. They're gone in like two years.
01:48:36
Speaker
Because it's boring because they never had to struggle. You know, like as terrible as struggle is, that's what attaches worth and value to things.
01:48:48
Speaker
You know, I'm not saying I want to struggle in everything I'm doing. No, like, but if everything is too easy in life, if things are too perfect, like that should be more suspicious than anything.
01:49:00
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It's the idea that like the finiteness of life is what makes it fun. It's what makes it worth living. Right. That pressure that life is going to end.
01:49:12
Speaker
What are you doing? with Yeah. No. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Like, um you know, Like talking about like like going back to powerlifting, like 20 years in the sport now, I look back and the same thing kind of happens in the fire service. Like I'm at the end of my rope. No matter what, I have two years left in powerlifting regardless of what happens.
01:49:32
Speaker
And I'm like, man, I just started like kind of knowing what I was doing right now. like I just got good at this and it's over. Yeah. You what I mean? Yeah. And the same thing happens in the fire service. Like there's a saying like the second use that you stop learning on this job, you should retire.
01:49:49
Speaker
And talking to the retired guys, like they don't want to leave because they're like, oh man, I just got kind of good at this. Yeah. And it's done. You know, it's like it's like in the it's like in the blink of an eye. i only have nine years on and...
01:50:01
Speaker
a lot of times when I'm working, I'm the most senior person on the company. Like we have a very young fire department and like half of the people that are working for me, like I personally trained when they were rookies and I'm like, Oh man, this is flying by. and by And I'm, I'm trying to keep that attitude with my son and like not overlooking some of these precious moments that can be tedious. i'm like, he, I felt like he just came yesterday and he's already walking and talking and school is tomorrow and then college next week. And,
01:50:32
Speaker
man, things fly by. It's weird. Yeah, it is. It is. It's a good perspective to have, um, to make sure that you're staying present and appreciating each and and every moment.
01:50:43
Speaker
Um, and that's, that's one of the things I enjoy about talking to you, um, and exploring with you. And, uh, I appreciate that you're able to express those things eloquently and in the way that you do, because I think that's extremely helpful for people in the strength sports, in the fire department and um in life. And so I appreciate you coming on the show and that's having these conversations. It was a, it was a lot of fun, man. And you truly are a person that people can model,
01:51:16
Speaker
um after in terms of strength sports, in terms of, um, finding this completeness and understanding in life that it's, it's a constant work and effort and things like that. And, uh, I think that comes across in, in how you convey yourself online and just through the conversations we have. So I appreciate that about you. I appreciate you coming on and and sharing all that.
01:51:39
Speaker
Thanks, man. Appreciate it. And, you know, um, not perfect, not perfect at all. It's, it's a constant, constant struggle, you know, Talk to my coach, Paul, and he's like, oh, yeah, dude's a head case with XYZ.
01:51:51
Speaker
And it's the same reason why I'm working with a sports psychologist this time around is because things are hard. But, you know, it's about just being aware of it and trying to do the best you can and not be perfect. There's no such thing as perfection in anything.
01:52:05
Speaker
No, nothing. Yeah. Just as close as we can get. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I appreciate your time, man. Thanks for coming on. Appreciate it, man. Thanks a lot.