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Top Ten Horror Movies of 2024
34 Plays1 month ago
New year, new list. It's that time of year again where your ole pal Chris Donovan emerges from toiling in the horror movie mines with his top ten favorite movies of the year. From road tripping families and glowing TVs, to multiple immaculate conceptions, to the world tour of Skye Riley, Chris Donovan is gonna run down all of 'em. So join me, as I present my top ten favorite movies of 2024.
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Transcript
Introduction and Movie List Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the professional horror podcast, the podcast that is both excited and nervous about that new Until Dawn movie coming out this year. I watched a trailer that came out a few days ago and like it gave me way more hope than any of the lead up that was like, we're not adapting anything from the game, but still I'm like super cautious about it. Anyway, I am your host, the wonderful and very pretty Chris Donovan. And this week, it's that time of year once more, one of my favorite episodes to do every year. It is time for my top 10 horror movies,
00:00:29
Speaker
of the year. As always before we dig in I got some caveats for you. Obviously I did not see every horror movie that came out in the year 2024, but I did however set a new personal record for films in a year watching a whopping 66 films. And as always so that there's no oh wait about this movie Chris I will run down every single movie that I saw this year at some point during the episode, so if I didn't mention it at all, then I did not see it. I will start, as always, by running down my picks number 10 through number 2, then I will run down my honorable mentions, then I will tell you all of the ones that I saw that neither made my list proper or my honorable mentions, and then I will end it off with my number one film of the year. And of course, last caveat, this list is just like my opinions, man. And I am fully aware that I have weird
Discussion on 'I Saw the TV Glow'
00:01:20
Speaker
opinions. So a lot of the movies that were like all over people's top 10 list this year, you know, might not have made mine and vice versa. And it's not because I'm trying to be different and not like other girls. It's just because I'm me. I have my own taste in movies and I'm weird. So. ah Yeah, without further ado, let's crack on with number 10. My number 10 movie of the year was I Saw the TV Glow. I Saw the TV Glow had a 5.8 out of 10 on IMDB and an 84% approval on Rotten Tomatoes. The synopsis is, a classmate introduces teenage Owen to a mysterious late night TV show, a vision of a supernatural world beneath their own. In the pale glow of the television, Owen's view of reality begins to crack.
00:02:03
Speaker
I Saw the TV Globe was written and directed by Jane Schoenbrunn, starring Justice Smith and Jack Haven. Jack Haven is credited in the film under a different name, but they just changed their name to Jack Haven. Literally, they announced, as I saw it on Twitter, a day or two before I recorded this episode. ah So there's certain benefits to procrastination, you know?
00:02:23
Speaker
But ah Jack Haven is who plays Maddie in the film. So I was really not expecting to have this on my list. I did not care for We're All Going to the World's Fair at all. And to be honest, I didn't have this movie anywhere on my want to watch list at all. But then I was just scrolling through some top 10 of the year lists to see if there's an obvious one that I missed. And this was on so many of them that I finally said, you know, it's screw it. I'm gonna sit down and I'm gonna watch it, even though I don't think this is going to be up my alley or for me. I'm just like, s screw it, I'm gonna watch it. And just fuck me, man. This movie hit me a lot harder than I was anticipating it to. Not only did it nail the whole 90s TV aesthetic, it just did it for me. But I was very invested in the emotional through line. Like, it was an intense watch. It was like so watching someone drown for an hour and a half and hoping that they'll see one of the buoys nearby, but they never do. And you're just like, God damn it. Like, it really hit a lot harder than I thought it would.
00:03:20
Speaker
Also, the imagery from the Pink Opaque show in the movie was like really affecting. Side note, imagine if the Pink Opaque was a real show and it just ended like that, like the riots, man. I know before anyone says anything, I'm aware that the show may not even be real in the world of the movie, but you know what I'm talking about. I'm just saying, imagine if that show were just a show and it were a real show in this world, how that how we would react to that. stuff they showed in that series finale episode specifically like really hit me in that way too disturbing 90s TV show stuff way like you know Mr. Melancholy and Marco and Polo and the Moon Juice and the Bink Barry Live it was it reminded me almost like the um the slime monster from Ghost Rider or the ghoul from that tale of the dead man's float episode of are you afraid of the dark
00:04:07
Speaker
or like the blob from um the blob that ate everyone in goosebumps like it just hit that sort of like this is way too disturbing for like a kids or teens show but because it's in the 90s we're just kind of going fucking crazy with it and it hit me uh it was it was just man it just it hits something that i was not expecting it to the only reason this movie is not higher on the list is because of how frustrating it is And I know based on the commentary that the movie is making, like the subtextual through line, that the film was intended to be frustrating, but it still doesn't make it less frustrating. From like a script or or storytelling standpoint, the movie is essentially a protagonist, a protagonist refusing the call to action over and over and over and over again until it's potentially too late. So while it accomplishes exactly what it intended to do, I'm still upset that it
Analysis of 'Immaculate' and 'The First Omen'
00:04:57
Speaker
accomplished that. I guess. I don't know. The movie's really good though. It was, like I said, I was really invested in the emotional ah storytelling. I was really invested in the protagonist and just being, just like my heart broke for them. But yeah, I don't think I can put it much higher on the list because of how frustrating the ending is. But again, that's a criticism that I feel like Jane will just kind of shake off because that's exactly the intention. And for that, they nailed it. So.
00:05:22
Speaker
Kudos to them for this movie and I saw the TV glow is available to watch on max So check it out next up number nine my number nine movies I have a tie cuz you know me and my Cheating cheating my motto on this podcast is cheating is fine as long as about stuff That does not matter and a top 10 list of some rando dude does not matter.
00:05:43
Speaker
So here's a tie. I have Immaculate and the first Omen tied together. I just decided to lump the two nunnery Immaculate conception movies together, so I love both of them. But we will start with Immaculate. Immaculate has a 5.8 out of 10 on IMDB and a 71% approval on Rotten Tomatoes. The synopsis is An American nun embarks in a new journey where she joins a remote convent in the mut Italian countryside. However, her warm welcome quickly turns into a living nightmare when she discovers her new home harbors a sinister secret and unspeakable horrors. Immaculate is directed by Michael Mowin, written by Andrew Labelle and starring Sydney Sweeney. So I really enjoyed both of the nunnery Immaculate Conception movies we got this year. Weird how many we had in the span of one year. you know movies about bodily autonomy wonder what could have sparked that flow of inspiration and I just I couldn't choose between between the two of them so here we are immaculate Sydney Sweeney obviously was great in it and I feel like this one such a weird thing to say I feel like it gave me more of the the the pregnancy horror stuff
00:06:47
Speaker
And it's weird because usually I'm not like, hell yeah, pregnancy. This is great. But ah first Omen tried to have its cake and eat it too, with like having a pregnancy story while not saddling the protagonist with the pregnancy for the whole movie. But Imanica did, and you could really feel the ah the the tension of being like, oh man, Sydney Sweeney is really struggling to, or Cecilia, I should say. She was really struggling to deal with this extra literal burden, like,
00:07:15
Speaker
physical weight and that she was not unable to escape a certain point because of this happening to her. And also one thing I thought very interesting about Immaculate was how infantilized Sydney Sweeney's character was by the other characters in the film. She was literally used as a commodity or as an asset to these people more than she was as a person and that rang true to the current climate. but she was also very resourceful in how she tried to get out from under the thumb of her captors. And while how much of what she's able to do after her literal water broke in the third act might stretch belief a bit, I really bought into the story. I think I prefer this version of the plot because I remember a friend of mine saying they wished in ready or not. They weren't doing it all for like a demon or Satan, but instead we're doing it for God, like the actual Christian God, nothing secular or anything like that. because those people don't think that what they're doing is evil and doing it for the devil implies they know the evil inherent in their actions and this one does have a bunch of people doing horrible things but still saying that doing it for altruistic godly intents and that's a very interesting thing to explore. Also shout out to the character Gwen, she was a real one. Immaculate is available to watch on Hulu. The second half of our number nine pick is the first omen. The first omen is a 6.5 out of 10 on IMDB and an 83% approval on Rotten Tomatoes. The synopsis for the first omen is, a woman starts to question her own faith when she uncovers a terrifying conspiracy to bring about the birth of evil incarnate in Rome. The first omen is directed by Arkasha Stevenson, written by Arkasha Stevenson, Tim Smith, and Keith Thomas, and starring Nell Tiger Free. While I think I prefer the plot of Immaculate, the first omen is fucking gorgeous, man. I was shocked, utterly shocked that I dug this movie as much as I did, but this movie has style, it has intensity, it pulls no punches, and i'm I'm glad we got both of these movies.
00:09:07
Speaker
How we got two fish out of water nun stores involving a magically conception within a couple of months of each other is beyond me, but while this has the more satanic slant on it, it does still have the godly people doing bad actions for the greater good, not realizing the damage they directly caused due to their selfish actions. stuff Whereas Immaculate is a slower, more grounded approach, the first omen is a gothic thrill, right? I fucking loved it. Also, while I think how Sydney Sweeney's character is treated is more interesting, I found myself enjoying the journey of Nell Tiger-Free's
Exploration of 'Abigail' and 'Heretic'
00:09:39
Speaker
character a bit more. She has more agency by design, but I do think the movie made the most of it. It does. It does have a strange like Nick Fury MCU style post-credits scene thing, though, but that's a small flaw to to mention. I thought the movie was beautiful. It was intense. It was a great time. And the first omen is also available on Hulu, so you can watch both on Hulu. what What a bargain, I guess. Next up.
00:10:02
Speaker
Number 8 My number 8 film is Abigail. Abigail has a 6.6 out of 10 on IMDB and an 83% approval on Rotten Tomatoes. The synopsis is, A group of would-be criminals kidnapped the 12-year-old daughter of a powerful underworld figure. Holding her for ransom and an isolated mansion, their plan starts to unravel when they discover their young captive is actually a bloodthirsty vampire.
00:10:26
Speaker
Films made by Radio Silence like the last two screen movies are. So it's directed by Matt Bedellini-Open and Tyler Gillott and written by Steven Shields and Guy Busek. And of course it's starring Melissa Barrera. This movie is just too much fun. I love Melissa Barrera, I love Dan Stevens, and I love Catherine Newton. Put them all together with wacky intense vampire action and I'm gonna be happy as a clam. I remember I was like, yeah, I'll watch this one. the I'm sure it'll be fine. And then I saw someone on Twitter post the Sammy. Those are fucking onions scene. And I was like, okay, I'm going to watch this tonight then. Okay. ah So it was a super fun movie. Also, shout out to Alicia Weir. She did a fantastic job as Abigail. This whole cast is just stacked. with talent and fantastic performances. ah While there is to me a few instances of we're making decisions more to help the plot than what natural decisions by people would be, I did really dig the film. I thought the ballard the the ballet scenes were really good, the dynamics and the interplay between all the characters rocked. The whole thing was just a hit in my opinion. I want to watch it again very soon. Ah, and you should too, because it's it's a vampire ballerina killing a bunch of wacky characters. What's not to love about that? You can watch Abigail on Amazon Prime, so check it out. Next up, number seven. My number seven pick is Heretic. Heretic has an IMDB score of seven out of 10 and a Rotten Tomatoes score of 91% approval. The synopsis is, two young missionaries becoming snared in a deadly game of cat and mouse. When they knock on the door of the diabolical Mr. Reed, trapped in his home, they must turn to their faith if they want to make it out alive.
00:12:09
Speaker
heretic was written and directed by scott beck and byron woods starring hugh grant sophie thatcher and chloe east Uh, this movie was very interesting. I know 10 minute Ted talks about theology aren't going to be everybody's cup of tea, but I was hella locked in for that. I was very invested in the interplay between the interplay between the characters and while about halfway through, you can certainly get a good idea of how it's going to end. Uh, minor spoilers here. Sorry, just hit the click 15 if you don't want to spoil it about anything at all. I super appreciate a movie about religion that doesn't end with yes, God is real and this religion is correct. It plays it a lot more subtly and up to interpretation, which I appreciate. Uh, Hugh Grant is both charming and menacing and he deserves an award for this. I think the Oscar nominations went out today as a recording and I don't think he got nominated, which is a crying shame, but if he was, he should win it. Uh, and Sophie Thatcher is quickly becoming climbing the list of my faves. I loved her. I loved her here. I loved her in Bogeyman. When I saw her in Maxine, I did the Leo pointed TV meme when she popped up there. But Chloe East was no slouch either. She has to carry a lot more of the emotion than the other two. And she does a great job. She was portrayed as the most vulnerable character emotionally and physically. And she carries a lot of that very well. I don't want to spoil too much of this movie because this movie is kind of best when you know less.
Review of 'The Substance' and 'Double Blind'
00:13:25
Speaker
So I'm just gonna leave it here. But yeah, I really dug it and I don't know, man.
00:13:29
Speaker
intellectual discussions about religion i just i don't know why i lap that up but i do i believe heretic as of right now is still only available on premium vod but it will be making its way out to like dvd blu-ray digital 4k whatever the hell uh shortly next up number six my number six movie is the substance the substance has a 7.4 out of 10 on IMDP, and an 89% approval on Rotten Spadoes. The synopsis is Elizabeth Sparkle, renowned for an aerobics show, faces a devastating blow on her 50th birthday as her boss fires her. Amid her distress, a laboratory offers her a substance which promises to transform her into an enhanced version.
00:14:08
Speaker
of herself. the substance is written and directed by corrali farja and starring demi moore and margaret qualey this movie is just so cool what i said about hugh grant and then some for demi moore she did get nominated for an academy award and i hope she fucking wins and she's fantastic The Substance is a very serious movie that is also very silly. Like the movie has some very serious things to say about how Hollywood treats women as they age as opposed to men, and how we also react to aging, the chase to be young and beautiful again, and how society treats us as we age, but it's also a very wacky body horror movie that has no issue getting gross as fuck.
00:14:44
Speaker
There are a few moments where I did go, yeah I get it, you enjoyed The Shining, but that is a small complaint in a puddle of compliments. The effects work, the body horror, Dennis Quaid being somehow the most slimy disgusting thing in the movie, it all makes for a rad time. There are obviously questions to be had with the logic of the film, I swear everyone is like, how did Sue get a show without a birth certificate? And nobody is like, why on earth is the host of a daytime aerobics class the biggest new star in Hollywood? like the fact that like this is the sought after star making job take over this daytime aerobic show oh it just kind of cracked me up the movie is meant to be exaggerated but both Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley do fantastic jobs in this movie and they both should have gotten I mean Demi Moore should win awards Margaret Qualley should have gotten the supporting actress nomination I believe This is one of the rare examples of a serious movie with social commentary. It's also a blast to watch. So I would consider, I would, I would recommend, obviously it's my sixth ranked movie of the year. You watch it. It's a lot of fun. They can be purchased or rented on all the normal sites, but you can also get it free on streaming on MUBI. Not Tubi, not, want to be clear, MUBI. M-U-B-I. Different streaming service than Tubi. We really have so many streaming services, but yeah, watch the substance.
00:16:05
Speaker
Next up, number five. My number five movie is Double Blind. Double Blind has a 5.6 out of 10 on IMDb, and I think it's only like one or two critical reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, but it was positive, so it's 100% approval, so that's something. Double Blind's synopsis is... when an experimental drug trial goes horribly wrong. The surviving test subjects must fight off sleep and one another to stay alive.
00:16:28
Speaker
double blind is directed by ian hunt duffy written by derek mcgarogly and starring milie brady ah this movie is so fucking good man It scratches a very specific Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3 itch. Much like that movie, it is about a bunch of young adults isolated in a medical facility struggling to stay awake lest they die. But this is a more clinical environment than Freddy's Dream Land. But the visuals and the effects in some of these dream sequences are just as fascinating. I was blown away by some of these sequences.
00:17:02
Speaker
Yes, man what a oh my god I had zero expectations going into this movie. This was a movie I just threw on one day. to you know see You don't watch every movie of 66 thinking everyone's gonna make your top 10. Some you're like, let me check this out. These have potential. you know Maybe this could be good. maybe it you know you you You take chances on some movies, you build up the body of the list. And I was like, hey, looks cool. Let's see what this it is all about. I watched it and I was just sucked in. I don't want to talk too much about it because I don't think a lot of people saw this movie and I really want you guys to see it. But fuck yeah, man, what a movie. Also, shout out to Allison. She's my girl. I love her.
00:17:38
Speaker
But yeah, it was a fun movie with some incredibly done dream sequences, and can't recommend it enough. You can watch it for free on 2B, that is T-U-B-I 2B, or Peacock. Next up, number four. My number four film of the year is Smile 2. Smile 2 is a 6.8 out of 10 on IMDb, and an 86% approval on Rotten Tomatoes. Smile 2 is about, ahem, About to embark on a new world tour, global pop sensation Sky Riley begins to experience increasingly terrifying and inexplicable events. Overwhelmed by the escalating horrors and presence and pressures of fame, she must face her dark past to regain control of her life before it spirals out of control. Smile 2 was directed and written by Parker Finn and stars Naomi Scott. I loved Smile 1. I thought it was a heck of a movie. It made my top 10 list when Smile 1 came out. I think I like this one like a lot more. It's like the substance where it's a somehow more serious and intense movie, but it's also way sillier. Like the Smile demon becoming backup dancer to do a dance routine stalk like sure man.
00:18:46
Speaker
But then it'll hit you with some seriously intense visuals that take you right out of the fun wacky times. Naomi Scott is not only great as Sky Riley, but her original music for the movie? No joke, I've been jamming out to that album ever since I saw the movie. She's got some bangers. but Her life is seemingly chock full of trauma and fucked up things for the Smile Monster to torment her with and I was so into all of it. There's something I really like, it's going to be a weird thing to say, but there's something I like about a movie where the character isn't just a flawed person. Like when you write a screenplay, almost every movie starts with a character with a flaw and the movie the journey they go on pushes on that flaw and they come out the other side of a better person. That is just basic storytelling. like
00:19:28
Speaker
But I feel like there's a a few movies where it's not just they're a flawed person. They're like objectively a piece of shit and they realize partway through the movie, hey, I'm the worst, but like maybe I can stop being the worst. And there's something about that dynamic that just kind of hits for me. I don't know why. Also, Ray Nicholson's character was both well acted and perfectly implemented. Like, his character casts a shadow on Sky for the whole film, so when he pops up it just hits so much deeper. Also, Gemma is my favorite character of the year. She is so much fun whenever she's on screen. Shout out to Dylan Galula for that performance. I wasn't hammered with it. I think Smile 2 is only on premium VOD, if anything, right now, but it will soon be coming on VOD, Blu-ray, 4K, the like sometime in the next month or two, I would imagine.
Appraisal of 'Lowlifes' and 'Nosferatu'
00:20:15
Speaker
Next up, number three. My number three film is Lowlifes. Lowlifes has a 6.2 out of 10 on IMDB and only one critical review on Rotten Tomatoes, but it's a positive one, so that's 100%, baby. Lowlifes is about the survival and things of a road trip and family are put to the test when they have no other choice but to stay of the night at a remote homestead. Lowlifes is directed by Tesh Gudakonda and Mitch Oliver, written by Al Kaplan, the Al Kaplan from Jon and Al, who do like Predator the Musical and stuff on YouTube, and starring Amanda Fix. So fun fact, I saw this movie the same day, like literally right after I watched Double Blind. So I hit two 2B bangers on the same day, which was, I, what a day for movies and me. What a day in the life of Chris Donovan. Uh, this movie slaps so hard. Early on in this film, I thought, oh man, I think I figured out the twist of the film, damn it. And this movie goes like, fuck you, man, this ain't a twist kind of movie, we're out in the open with this shit. And it is so to the film's benefit, because sometimes when you take that kind of a risk, you obviously lose the mystery, but you also lose the tension. Like a movie I'm gonna talk about later, Strange Darling, once you know the twist, the events on screen are not as impactful, because it's relying on you being tense until the movie decides to pull the rug.
00:21:28
Speaker
Here they pull the rug for you and then move pieces around to re-establish tension and it does it very well. They introduce some new characters which is also a very brazen move short of sort of like shift focus like that in the film but it does it so well. There are a couple moments where I ought to be one like oh shit while watching this and I don't know how many times I can remember a movie being that surprising and that exciting. It is a fun-ass movie with some larger-than-life characters but I don't want to say anything specific because just watch it it is a blast and I don't know who else saw it this year but they're all worse off because they didn't see it and you can be better off by watching it so do that be better off be better get good watch the lowlifes it's free to watch on Tubi
00:22:12
Speaker
Number two. My number two film of the year. I mean, come on. It's Nosferatu. Come on now. Nosferatu has a 7.6 out of 10 on IMDB and 85% approval on Rotten Tomatoes. Nosferatu is about. In the 1830s, estate agent Thomas Hutter travels to Transylvania for a fateful meeting with Count Orlok.
00:22:34
Speaker
A prospective client. In his absence, Hooter's new bride, Ellen, is left under the care of their friends, the Frederick and Anna Harding. Played by horrific visions and an increasing sense of dread, Ellen z soon encounters an evil force that's far beyond her control. This movie is written and directed by Robert Eggers and stars Lily Rose Depp. God, I love Robert Eggers. I loved The Vivich. I loved The Lighthouse. ah Northman was good, but genre-wise, not my cup of tea. But this movie is like a hole is a whole kettle of my tea.
00:23:03
Speaker
I don't know if that analogy tracks, but whatever. This movie is so fucking beautiful. The vibes are immaculate. It is dark, it is sexy, it is violent. It might be my favorite film version of Dracula. While watching it, I did think that the Nosferatu version is a cleaner version of the Dracula tale. Every bit I was excited for, finally seeing Count Dora'lok's castle, the voyage on the Demeter, finding our Van Helsing, the shadow work. Oh, I love the shadow work.
00:23:32
Speaker
It is a beautiful film. Lily Rose Depp is fantastic, as is the whole cast, Willem Dafoe and of course Bill Skarsgard are other standouts. like I was shocked, like i I knew Bill could be a good monster, but I was still shocked at this specific performance. like I thought it would work against the film that Skarsgard is always the monster. Like, to the point where I'm used to him being the monster, so he's it's it's not gonna have the same impact or scare, which could be poisoned for a monster movie like that. But he pulled out a whole new side to himself to still be unique. Kudos to you, sir. Lily Rose Depp did a fantastic job as well. She was amazing. She really carried a lot of this film. Nicholas Holt's great, too. This is just a great cast. It's a great movie. Emma Corrine's in it. She's fun. And Taylor Johnson. ah People have been ragging on Aaron Taylor Johnson's performance, but it was it was fine.
00:24:20
Speaker
I loved it. Can't wait for the extended edition to come out. I will be buying the Blu-ray and I'm excited to watch the the four minutes. They really cut four minutes from this film and give me those four minutes. I think it is still in theaters as of right now, but it's coming.
Honorable Mentions and Other Opinions
00:24:35
Speaker
It's coming soon to Blu-ray and 4K and VOD and stuff.
00:24:38
Speaker
Now that we've gotten most of the top 10 listed out, let's knock out these honorable mentions. Alien Romulus. I love the Alien franchise and I really did love this movie. However, I really didn't like. And the reason I swapped this movie out with I Saw the TV Glow last minute is the Ian Holm deepfake shit. I'm so not a fan of bringing dead people back for a movie. I know his estate, the Creed and all that. but it was still completely unnecessary. You could have had a puppet that looked a little bit like Ash, above it on the floor, and then like a second android that was another actor and got a similar, less uncanny value effect. Also, this movie is a little too reference-heavy towards the rest of the Alien franchise. Like it's really good when it's doing it's own thing. And I just wish it did it's own thing more. Cause I feel, there was moments where I was literally like, they're not gonna do X reference here, right? And then they did X reference. And I'm like, come on guys, it'ss it's too much. It's too much. Next up, Frogman. Fun-ass found footage movie. I love me some cryptid stuff. And this one goes real batshit in a fun way towards the end that made it worth the kind of slow start for the film.
00:25:42
Speaker
tarot people really hated this movie and they're all wrong is this movie stupid and like your basic dead teenagers movie yes but it's really fun and the monsters all look so goddamn boss like yeah it is kind of like your run-of-the-mill horror movie but like you don't have to do something new every time sometimes you just be a really fun version of what we know and that's enough for me to be like you know what good movie horror in the high desert 3 i've loved all of movies in this franchise and there are definitely some moments in this one where i was like oh shit we're really getting further into the story but overall the reason why the past you've made my top 10 and this one didn't is i feel like we haven't made enough to progress into the overall disappearance story. I still love the movie, but I do feel like we're approaching diminishing returns territory. Late Night with the Devil A lot of people super love this movie, some people super hated it, I thought it was just pretty good. My issues are that I don't think we need the preamble like at all. We learn all that information much more organicly organically throughout the film, and the film bits between the commercials don't really make sense at all as to why they were filmed. like That's not how 70s TV shows worked.
00:26:52
Speaker
Also, the the ending goes a bit over the top. There's a lot to like about this one. It just gets a little too wacky towards the end. It's just it it's is really good, and then it's just kind of whatever at the end, which brings it down. Killer Body Count. Funny little bit here. There was a scene with gratuitous male booty shots in the shower, and I thought to myself, huh, this reminds me of that Summer Party Massacre remake. Turns out it's the same director. So I guess like my intuition is good when it comes to seeing dude ass in the shower.
00:27:21
Speaker
Anyway, this was a very fun, cool slasher that never tries to be too grounded or serious, and it's very enjoyable as a result. It's What's Inside. More of a sci-fi flick, but it was a body-hopping mystery film, and it's a lot of fun when things pop off, and it just gets really crazy. Uh, yeah, uh, Trap. This movie is so dumb. Who makes a pop stars concert into an FBI sting operation? I don't care, because it was fun. Josh Harnett is a joy, and the cat and mouse stuff was really interesting and fun. Is Celica Knight a great actress? Not really, but she made some good music, so that's not something. Haunt Season This was a pretty fun slasher. I kind of wish it had gone a bit more with the concept than it did, but I do love a cast of characters that who actually stick together and seem like legitimate friends and this movie had that for me, so I was i was there for them. The Invisible Raptor Obviously just based on the title, this is the kind of movie I would be all about. It's funny, it's dumb, sometimes I will say too far for me in the dumb category, but I enjoyed myself so whatever. who cares Now for the rest of the films I saw. Just because these films did not make the audible mentions of or the list proper does not mean that I hate them. I feel like a lot of them are just kinda meh. While I'm not marrying to the order of the of this list,
00:28:33
Speaker
They're more or less in order, so the ones at the top were like the could've been auto-remensions, maybe. And the further down we go, the more we get to the ones that I actively disliked. Don't move. I like this one quite a bit, actually. I feel like the premise gets stretched a little bit thin at times, but it works a lot more than it doesn't. Salem's lot. Big fan of the book, but this felt very surface level. Like I remember Nicole being like, I didn't read the book and I was confused as hell. It feels more like supplemental material to the book rather than a film that stands on its own. Great visually, but lacks depth. Founders Day, Solid Slasher, Twists were a bit obvious, and I have a bit of a hair at my ass over movies about politics that never actually discuss politics. It's all us versus them without saying what us or them stand for. A weird ending too, but the journey is mostly good. Milk and cereal, a micro-budget found footage style movie that ends super abruptly, but the progression is a lot of fun and got me invested. I just wish it stuck the landing a bit better. Woman of the hour. I love Anna Kendrick and I appreciate that it felt pretty loyal to the actual real life events it's adapting, but by sticking to the events, I don't think the events are really feature film worthy. Like I almost wish they went more with like inspired by true events and made more of a straightforward cat and mouse thriller, but it's still but still pretty good. Lovely dark and deep. I like this one. It was really beautiful visually and it made for some good mystique with the national parks, but it does get a bit too out in the weeds at times.
00:29:53
Speaker
Thine ears shall bleed. This movie felt like ye olde shining. Not in a bad way though. Also no shade, but Duke Hudson's performance took me out of the film a few times. I'm not saying it was a bad performance, it was just so different than the rest of the cast that I didn't always feel natural alongside other actors. Dear Camp 86. Another movie I walked away going, well that was fine. Some interesting supernatural stuff, some not so great stuff, but it's enjoyable I thought.
00:30:19
Speaker
Under Paris, love me a shark movie, and I enjoyed this one kinda goes full bad shit, like we're not trying for scientific realism, these sharks might as well be aliens the way they break the laws of nature, but it's a cool ending and has some really cool shark moments. Mr. Crockett. I didn't expect to dig this movie as much as I did, it's almost like a Freddy Krueger-esque character.
00:30:38
Speaker
that I would be down first to watch some more movies of. The ending was a bit weird, but I really was into the movie up until that point. Maxine. This movie is strange. I liked it, but not nearly as much as I liked Pearl or X. The story felt a bit nonsensical and obvious. like Who was behind it all? I don't know. The only character introduced who could be? Also, what was the point of having all that Night Stalker stuff if he never factors into the story? it's just really distracting and pointless Departing Seniors. Another totally fine slasher this year. This one has a weird thing of the protagonist that everyone in the film is obsessed with. like
00:31:11
Speaker
Everyone's in love with this dude. One, you know, there's the best friend character. There's someone harboring a crush. The guy who's a bully, but because he really loves him. There's the professor who thinks he's just the best student. And I'm like, will this movie stop sucking this character's dick for five minutes? It gives the movie some real self-insert wish fulfillment vibes. The Piper. This movie was surprisingly fun. I had zero expectations, but just a free movie on 2B and dug in a lot more than I expected to. Uh, Sting. The more fun of the two big spider movies this year, I don't have much to say, but it was a fun spider movie. Lisa Frankenstein. As stated earlier, I love Catherine Newton, and this movie I like mostly for her. The rest is just kind of alright. Long legs. I'm probably gonna do a full episode with some people on this one, so I'll be brief. I thought it was alright, didn't live up to the hype, which isn't necessarily the film's fault, but like nothing about it made me go like holy shit. But I'm not mad at it either, I thought it was just fine. In a violent nature, really awesome kills, but following a big slumbering slasher is hell for pacing in my opinion. It was a glacially paced movie that is fun in the moments that we'd see in a normal version of a slasher movie, but I think the bits in between aren't nearly as much of a novelty as the movie seems to think they are. Cuckoo. Dan Stevens is great. Hunter Shafer is great. I don't have much in the way of negative things to say, it was just a strange movie that didn't always land for me. Wild eyed and wicked. I watched this movie because I saw a final girl wearing a suit of armor riding a horse to fight a monster. And it took like an hour and five, an hour and 10 minutes into the hour and a half movie to get to that point. Like I get the story of progression, but like we really could have gotten there sooner. We really should have gotten there sooner. It's really cool to fight a monster in a suit of armor. Why didn't we get more of that, please?
00:32:56
Speaker
Infested. This movie is ah is fine. Oddly paced, but it's fine. It's the more serious of the spider movies this year. It was a solid flick. A Quiet Place Day One. So this movie was fine. A bit weird to have a post apocalypse movie about someone trying to get a slice of pizza before anyone comes at me. I know that the pizza is symbolic of our happiest childhood memories, blah, blah, blah, but it is still weird. But I got something bigger to talk about. I skipped Quiet Place 2, so I just learned this here. The Death Angels, the indestructible monsters that killed like everyone on Earth.
00:33:26
Speaker
can't go in water like if they get fully submerged they got like 15 seconds and they're dead how how did they are how are they still running things on that planet they lost so much monster cred in my book but yeah i thought it was a well-acted movie with like emotional storytelling it was just kind of weird You'll never find me. Trippy movie that I remembered enjoying in the moment. When I sat down at a month's rate to write this blurb, I had totally forgot almost everything about it. Oddity. This was a fine movie. I know a lot of people really love this one. And I don't hate it. I just don't think I saw what everyone else saw in it. But it was a good movie nonetheless.
00:34:02
Speaker
ISS. I enjoyed this movie and I really loved the concept and I loved the execution of how they filmed all the Zero G stuff. I just wish the story i had pushed the content a bit further than we got. Strange Darling. I love Kyle Galner. Willa Fitzgerald is great. Movie looks gorgeous. However, the non-linear storytelling to me feels like a massive crutch to cover up how paper thin the story is. And the non-linear storytelling, to me at least, made the twist more obvious. Once you sit once you are sitting in the theater and you're thinking to yourself, why would they show me this movie in this order? Figuring out why isn't super hard. And so they did it to try and art to like artificially sew tension into a movie and it ended up doing the opposite. It ended up giving me less tension because I figured it out too quickly. Like, it's not awful.
00:34:50
Speaker
I just think the plot is really flimsy and they try to gussy it up with a gimmick and usually that's not a good idea. Cold Blows the Wind, low budget movie with a cool premise but I think it gets stretched kind of thin. There's a lot of sequences of really heavy dialogue in a way that almost felt like padding for time. I don't know. It's enjoyable, I just didn't love it. The Watchers.
00:35:07
Speaker
weird movie. Interesting concept, but again, stretched very thinly. Humane. This one kind of boggled my mind. Like I thought it was really good, but the ending didn't seem to jive with the rest of the themes of the movie. Like it really throws you for a loop, but not in like a good undermining. Like it's played as a happy ending and I didn't feel it at all. I really felt like it kind of took all of the the themes and the subtext that it was playing with and just kind of tossed out the window for like, Hey, look at the family. And I'm like, what why? This wasn't the movie i was we were watching for an hour. Oh, whatever. Carved. This was definitely a movie that I saw this year. Night Swim. Very mid-movie. I love right Wyatt Russell, but it was a supremely meh film. Terrifier 3. So I gotta take a second. I'm sorry that every Terrifier movie is like a fucking referendum to me, but it is what it is. This movie is very long, and not much happens aside from the over-the-top gory kill scenes, which while I appreciate the practical effects, if you're not squeamish, like me, they feel really bloated. Like yep, he rips the arm off, and he gets the leg, and uh...
00:36:11
Speaker
Man, this has been going on for a while. like ah we so Can we get to the next, can we speed through this a bit? Oh, nope, he's going back for the other arm. Great, cool. It just drags. If you're not bothered by the kill scenes, they're just very long. And that's not my biggest issue. I mean, cool effects, yes. Could be edited down and chopped up a little bit. It's over two hours long and it does not need to be to over two hours long.
00:36:32
Speaker
But that's not my biggest issue. My biggest issue is this. I hated Terrifier 1 because it felt like it was mean-spirited. It felt like a movie that actively resented its own characters. And Terrifier 2 was shocking to me because I really liked it. And I thought it had a strong emotional core of Sienna and her brother Jonathan.
00:36:49
Speaker
And when that movie came out in my top 10 episode, I said, I would feel better about this franchise if Terrifier 2 was Terrifier 1, because I could not unsee the first film. I couldn't help but think, will this franchise keep on this path of a strong character lead, emotional core to bolster the gore, or will it revert back to its mean spirited ways? Like I couldn't shake the idea that I was going to walk into this theater and the opening kill was going to be Sienna being eviscerated and then onto to another group of characters. That didn't happen, but no spoilers, something else happened that really pissed me off. A decision that feels it was like it was done to spite a character, or maybe even to spite an actor. I don't know any potential behind the scenes drama, but a big Terrifier One style decision that put a real sour taste in my mouth. And it doesn't help that it's a 2 hour 12 minute movie with maybe like 30 minutes of plot. It is so much less story than last time.
00:37:48
Speaker
tons of meandering death scenes, not a lot of plot development. It is a return to form in a lot of the worst possible ways. now next movie Hold your breath. Had some good moments, but didn't really stick with me at all. Time cut. Back to the future, but a slasher. It's alright, but I do think Total The Killer did it better. VHS Beyond. This year's and last year's VHS films have been real misses for me. This year, once again, it had a framing device. That probably should have been its own installment. It does not work as a framing device. A lot of the stories are less beginning, middle, and end and more like, I was screwed up, wasn't it? Anyway, here's the next one. And I love you, Mike Flanagan, but the genre's called found footage. How exactly was the one you wrote going to be found? The Exorcism. I thought it was kind of this one was interesting, but just kind of fizzled out. I did get a kick out of how brazenly ripping off The Exorcist it was. Like it's clear the movie they're making in the movie is a remake of The Exorcist, but they cannot legally say it is. ah So that was fun. Something in the water. I barely remember anything about this one. prey. I do remember stuff from this one and it's not good. It has no real protagonist so it's kind of meanders for a bit. A lot of key characters die off screens in ways that make you think oh we didn't see it so they're still alive I'll pop back in and don't. It's not a good movie. Arcadian. Nick Cage movie where Nick Cage is knocked out and sidelined for half the movie. Not a great strat in my opinion. Everything around Nick Cage was very run of the mill as well. Haunted Ulster Live. I liked a lot about this one, had some great ghost watch vibes, but then it just so lost me at the end. It like jumped, it jumped the shark and the 12 sharks behind the first shark. It was just, it just went so far off the rails. I was just not there for it anymore. Asriel. Imagine casting Samara weaving in a movie she can't talk or scream. I'm being slightly unfair. She's great in the movie, but with no dialogue, there's not enough here to fill a feature-length story, I don't think. It's not a long movie, but the plot feels so thin and it feels like it drags.
00:39:40
Speaker
Like, there's so many things about the world that's left unexplained that it feels kinda empty, and the no dialogue is a gimmick that really holds the film back. Stabby dialogue can be a crush, don't get me wrong, but some things are better left said. Last night at Terrace Lane's. This movie stretches logic far past its breaking point. It is so inconsistent from a character inconsistent from a character and logic perspective. I know it's low budget, but man, the script was not good.
00:40:05
Speaker
And going forward with a script as full of issues as this one was never gonna result in a winner no matter the budget. Last straw. I was excited about this one. And through like the first like third or so, I was into it. The second it goes back to like show how we got here, it fell apart and fell apart fast.
00:40:20
Speaker
and nothing it does the rest of the way will ever come close to repairing it so many weird moments that lead to nothing so many baffling decisions just not good started promising squandered it all hellhole this movie had a lot of good reviews so i was excited but like i really didn't i really didn't like this movie It falls into that issue I see a lot where it's like I can see what they're trying to do but it's ham-fisted. Like the movie is about an organism that needs a human host to survive but only inhabits men, not women. So it's like a role reversal of the pro-choice pro-life stuff. I see what they're doing but it's not executed particularly well. There are some real editing lapses. where it feels like important things happen off screen, the pacing's weird, none of the character stories are particularly interesting, and the story's just kinda flat. Like, it has that idea, it's pro-choice but for men, with aliens, but doesn't do anything worthwhile with it. Like, I agree with the themes, but the execution of them is just really lacking. Cold Meat. This movie's just kinda boring. And a lot of serial killer stuff they emulated was literally quoting edund camper word for word like you'll lose a lot of originality for that guys it's just Edmund just, Edmund Kemper but as a German guy, in the snow. and, like, not a fan. And finally, we can we have Blackout. I was very upset at this, at putting this one all the way at the bottom, because I am a fan of Larry Fessenden's work, but this just supremely missed the mark for me.
Critique of 'Blackout' and Top Pick 'Stop Motion'
00:41:42
Speaker
Like, I typically prefer wolf werewolves to wolfmen, but that is the most minor of issues. I think the wolfman looks kinda silly, but it's not not important. that's not That's not where the movie goes wrong. I can see where this movie is going with its social and political commentary, but it is so ham-fisted. A businessman accuses um a Mexican man of committing murders and gets his racist followers to buy it, but not in the way the person they're referencing did it. In a, this man put out an op-ed in the front page of the newspaper saying, I think Miguel killed five people kind of way, and faces no pushback for the libel or anything. The cops act like, oh that rich guy. What really annoys me too is the Wolfman story is like he's trying to end it where he kills more people but like on the day he's gonna do it he's like whoops lost track of time guess I'm gonna be a Wolfman again tonight and not stop it and then kills like four more people it's just like I can't i you're trying to get me to connect emotionally with this guy and have empathy and sympathy for this man And he just whoops a daisy, kills five more people. And it's it's not helping the cause at all. It was it was like a lot of stuff that just didn't work. I saw what they were going for and I just wasn't there for any of it. It's just not my cup of tea. And that's sad because I liked i like Larry Fessenden's work, but this was not it. Now we come, finally, to my number one movie of the year. And that is, let me let me give it the proper, the real introduction that I'm so known for. Number one, my number one movie of the year is Stop Motion. Stop Motion has a 5.6 out of 10 on IMDb and a 91% approval on Rotten Tomatoes. The synopsis is, the talented Stop Motion animator becomes consumed by the grotesque world of her horrifying creations with deadly results.
00:43:20
Speaker
Stop Motion is directed by Robert Morgan, written by Robert Morgan and Robin Kind, and starring Aisling Fronchowski. This is another movie I was like, ugh, people really like this one. I guess I gotta check it out. Then I watched it and went, yeah, no, people are right. The stop motion work in this movie is incredible. And it is used to such creepy effect. The movie, this movie like lowlifes, I think, doesn't even try to trick the audience with a twist. It's more like, yeah, that's what we're doing. Go with it kind of thing. And once the story gets going, it gets real good. It's not like a brand new, never-before-seen story. It's an artist dealing with grief, trying to create something, and that something can have an effect on them and the real world. But is it the real world? Yeah, we've all seen that kind of story. But it does this in such a visually stunning way, with such horrifying, uncanny stop-motion effects that just hit really good for me. Once this movie hooked me, I was engrossed into it to the very end. This movie is why I often decide to get over myself and my initial opinions and like, trust others because I might have dismissed this movie if not for popular opinion. i wasn't I was not excited for this movie. And then if I just kind of went with my gut I would not have this little gem to spread the good word of. This is the kind of thing I really live for as a horror fan saying someone being like dude did you hear about that British indie film about someone stalked by their own stop motion animations like that's the magic of horror man.
00:44:35
Speaker
Things that are disturbing and affecting on a personal level and then shared in praise on a group level. like That's the good stuff right there, man. I love it. Stop motion is a blast. I own it on blue right now. I, I, huge fan of this movie. You should absolutely watch it. It's creepy. It's fun. It's good. Where can you watch it, Chris? I don't know. You should, it is available to watch on Hulu and shutter. Oh. Man, and with that, that concludes my top 10 horror movies of the year. Is there a movie you think I should have seen? Do you think I'm way off on one, some, or all of these? I don't know, let me know. You can find me to yell at me on Twitter at the underscore don underscore seventeen. or on Instagram at Professional Horror. You can also email me at professionalhorrorageemail.com to yell or offer movie or guest suggestions. It would also be real swell if you could rate, review, whatever the hell else, the Professional Horror podcast at wherever you get your podcast from, whether it be Apple, Spotify, Google, wherever you get your podcasts, go to the podcast store and be nice to the show at the store. I'd appreciate that. What a year in horror at movies. hi It's already been a hell of a 2025, but I am excited to crack on with 2025. I got a couple episodes in the pipeline. Hopefully we're going to have more steady uploads this year. No promises, but we're trying here at PHP Inc. We're trying. So we got some new exciting ideas I'm hoping to bring to you guys in the fresh new year, and I hope you enjoy
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:46:00
Speaker
them. But until that time, stay scary, but keep it professional.