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Lull of the Offseason
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In the latest episode of "Born on the Bayou Sports," ๐๏ธ hosts Tim Costello and Scott Barzilla navigate through a quieter sports week with their signature wit and insight. They kick things off by discussing the Houston Texans' dream offseason moves, exploring potential strategies and acquisitions that could elevate the team. ๐ The conversation then shifts to the Houston Astros' recent signing of Brendan Rodgers, analyzing what this means for the team's future. โพ
The hosts also find humor in the ongoing turmoil within the Boston Red Sox clubhouse, sharing their thoughts and laughs on the situation. ๐ As always, the episode concludes with their entertaining award segments: "Horses Ass of the Week," ๐ด "Hat Tip of the Week," ๐ฉ and "Scumbag of the Week," ๐ where they highlight notable figures and moments from the sports world.
It's a fun and engaging episode that keeps listeners entertained even during a lull in the sports calendar. ๐ง๐
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Transcript
Introduction to Born on the Bayou Sports
00:00:06
Speaker
Welcome to Born on the Bayou Sports, a Houston sports show made for Houstonians by Houstonians. Join Tim Costello and Scott Barzilla every week as they break down the latest in Houston Astros, Rockets, and Texans news.
00:00:25
Speaker
Tim's a former minor league broadcaster, and Scott has written two books on the Baseball Hall of Fame.
Javier's Cy Young Potential
00:00:32
Speaker
Yeah, Javier could get it figured out, it would make things a lot easier because he was that guy everybody was counting on this year to be a Cy Young candidate, take that big step forward and and help anchor this rotation with Romer.
00:00:45
Speaker
Since he's come to Houston, you can look at the development of guys like Carlos Correa defensively, Jeremy Pena defensively. I mean, you Bregman's, you know, certainly I think a better than average third baseman.
00:00:56
Speaker
And now you're putting teams in third and eight, third and seven, third nine. Now here comes Will Anderson. Pin back your ears. Let's go.
00:01:05
Speaker
So if you're Bayou born and bred, or just like spending time in the H, sit down, relax, and stay Houston strong.
00:01:17
Speaker
Houston Strong
00:01:23
Speaker
Welcome back in Born on the Bayou Sports. Tim Costello, Scott Barzilla coming to you from dead week here in the professional sports world, it seems like, Scott.
Phishing Scam Stories
00:01:37
Speaker
Yeah, I was just, we were texting back and forth. We're like, hey, what do you want to talk about? And it's like, you know, we're going to have to lean into this one, folks. But Tim and I, to peel back the curtain a little bit,
00:01:52
Speaker
I think you and i were potential victims of a phishing scam. Oh, you you, speaking of phishing, Scott, you bid hard. You were ready. There was a lawyer ready to saddle up in a ride for us at one point there. And I was just like, hey, I think this is think this is bullshit.
00:02:09
Speaker
Well, no, I put it out there like, hey, you know, watch out for this. Because What ended up happening was, and in you you sent a message simultaneously as I got the same exact message for every forum that I'm doing on Facebook.
00:02:27
Speaker
And it's like, all right, come on. You know, so, you know, obviously this was a phishing scam. A lot of the people who responded, I think, are a little bit of the older crowd in that group that we're a member of.
00:02:41
Speaker
And it's ah you got to be a real piece of Samsonite, you know, to to give into that. It's like those ads in the National Enquirer would be like, you know, avoid ripoffs, send in five bucks. I'll send in 10, honey. We'll be doubly protected.
00:02:55
Speaker
um Which leads to my question. And I've got I've got an answer to this one. What scam slash shady product are you going to admit to being a victim of?
00:03:11
Speaker
So I've got two. The first one I think is a funny joke one. The alien sandwich. Okay. That would help me get out of the bunker.
00:03:22
Speaker
i remember those still skull the shit out of it, but the real, real bad one was, I bought some pills to help grow a beard when I was younger and I was hoping I would get more coverage on my cheeks.
00:03:36
Speaker
And like, there's just, Facebook ad I got targeted with on how a pill that you could take to get some better beer coverage and All it did was make me shit like Gracie Well, you know, maybe it's a laxative Tim, you know, you never know but ah I think mine was kind of similar, you know when I To peel back the little curtain here Tim when I was in my 20 Actually had a pretty you know big bout with depression. i don't know if you've ever, you know, had that issue.
00:04:11
Speaker
um They prescribed Paxil for me. And Paxil actually worked pretty well in the depression. The problem is, is that I put on about 70 pounds, which now I'm depressed because I'm fat.
00:04:25
Speaker
So just like you with the beard, I've become susceptible to these weight loss things. And 610 used to, you know, do this thing. I can't even remember what it was called.
00:04:36
Speaker
But basically the directions were you drink this every night and you don't eat anything after 7 p.m. Oh, they used to be sponsored, like, My Quick Weight Loss Center or something like Yeah.
00:04:50
Speaker
And so I bought that. And it's like, and it slowly i kind of realized that, well, I think the most important thing was not eating after 7. It wasn't what you were actually drinking.
00:05:01
Speaker
You know, that has anything. i was going to say in the 80s, you obviously, you know, wouldn't have been watching TV during this point, but they had a product called Dream Away.
00:05:13
Speaker
That was actually it was a pill that you took at night. And so I want you to stop me before you you see a problem here. OK. When you you take the pill. OK.
00:05:24
Speaker
And then when you wake up, you're three to five pounds lighter.
00:05:29
Speaker
OK. I'm pretty sure you're. I know you're going because you lose three to five pounds almost every night when you sleep. Yeah, but see, that they nobody realizes like, okay, I weigh 200, I take the pill, I wake up, and I weigh 196. But see, they didn't realize that I gained those four pounds back by the other the night.
00:05:53
Speaker
Everybody's thinking like, man, I weigh 196, I take another pill tonight, I go down to 192.
00:06:00
Speaker
And the next day, 189, I'm on the road to weight loss, brother. It's insane to me, Scott, how long Americans have been searching for the miracle weight loss truck, right? Like, well I think you would agree with me.
00:06:20
Speaker
um you know, diet and exercise is pretty much it outside of like the 80s cocaine and cigarettes, right? That seems work pretty fucking good for a lot of people. But like legally, um you know, I think diet, exercise, eating right, you know, getting good sleep, all that stuff pretty much shows it'll get into your healthiest form.
00:06:42
Speaker
But even in today's world, with all the knowledge that we have, people are still fucking shooting up Ozempic and all this other stuff, and you can trace this back to like the 20s and 30s. There's just always been something that you can either take in a pill form or a shot form that is the miracle loss supplement.
00:07:03
Speaker
I've been waiting for the National Enquirer because, you know, the National Enquirer, my grandmother used to subscribe to it. and Can you imagine somebody subscribing to the National Enquirer? The only people I could even think of was like the agents for Men in Black, that's where the real news was.
00:07:19
Speaker
ah Right, yeah. So they would always run stories about somebody seeing Bigfoot. And then they would always run stories about a miracle diet plan. So let's just put this shit together.
00:07:31
Speaker
Bigfoot discovers miracle diet plan. Boom! I mean, that's like the story of the century right there. Someone should be talking about it, Scott. I don't know why they're not. Like, have you ever seen anyone, like other than I guess your grandmother, but like that publication...
00:07:49
Speaker
has been next to checkout lines my entire life, right? I've never seen anyone go, yeah, okay, I'll take this too. Like, we all look at it while we're checking out.
00:08:00
Speaker
we But, like, I've never seen anyone go, okay. We used to buy when we were on vacation. This is back in the 80s, just because as a joke.
00:08:11
Speaker
Well, the weekly world news was always the most deranged because about every five years they would recycle the Bat Boy stories. your I don't know if you remember Bat Boy. No.
00:08:22
Speaker
But my favorite, and this is the one I always ask the kids at school, because I saw one in National Choir where a woman said she was impregnated by Bigfoot. don't remember that. And so I'm like, okay, but here's the thing. When we went to Alaska, we saw signs about Bigfoot.
00:08:40
Speaker
But you can see signs in, like, North Carolina about Bigfoot. Well, it's obviously not the same Bigfoot. I mean, Bigfoot's got to be a mammal, right? Well, it depends on on what you're listening to on AM m radio late at night, because there's a lady named Carrie Cassidy who believes that Bigfoot is among one of many types of aliens that have landed and live on Earth, among, like, the tall whites and, like, all this other shit. But Sasquatch is the type of alien that they are.
00:09:10
Speaker
Well, my favorite part of that story, though, was a National Enquirer was that this woman's husband believed her. and said that he wanted to give Sasquatch a piece of his mind.
00:09:22
Speaker
And I was like, well, if there's more than one Sasquatch, couldn't he just say, no, no, no, that's my cousin Larry. I mean, it's. You could.
00:09:33
Speaker
I mean, it's. And so I've always asked that question to students. I'm always asking them, okay, what is the plural for Sasquatch? It is both singular and plural. Although, you know, if you ask Google and you ask Siri, they give you two different answers.
00:09:49
Speaker
So even AI can't agree.
00:09:52
Speaker
I think c Siri says it's Bigfoot. That's the plural. And then the other one says Sasquatch is. No, Sasquatch is both single and plural. Any any real Squatcher knows that, Scott.
00:10:09
Speaker
All right, let's find let's find a little bit of Sports somewhere in this podcast.
Houston Texans' Coaching Changes
00:10:16
Speaker
Let's talk about your Houston Texans offseason coming up. We've got a new offensive coordinator. I don't think we talked about that much in our previous episode, but he has been introduced coming from the Rams system, the McVay system, which really is the same parent system, which is the Shanahan system. But with variations, we've got Callie.
00:10:41
Speaker
We've got Cali as our new offensive coordinator, Nick Cali, to be precise. Well, here's what scares me, Tom. He not only comes from McVay system, he comes from New England.
00:10:56
Speaker
He spent more time in New England. And I don't know if you caught any of the introductory p press conference, but we heard the dreaded term game plan offense. I love it. i fucking love it.
00:11:09
Speaker
that was That was the one. Yeah, you know well, you know, and it sounds wonderful. But see, here's the thing that a game, the problem with the game plan offense is that it calls for you to be good at a number of things.
00:11:27
Speaker
Because one week you might run the football, another week you might be passing it to your wide receivers, another week you might be passing it to tight ends. And, you know, who knows? And, you know, San Francisco's offense kind of works that way, or at least it did when it was at its peak.
00:11:45
Speaker
But I think for your Texans, is that really where we see this offense going? Or would we we rather see them say, you know what, we're going to be good at it this, and this is what we're going to do to teams?
00:11:58
Speaker
To answer your โ I'm going to do the answer your question with a question. If back in 2012,
00:12:10
Speaker
2011 maybe, whatever it was, Peyton Manning decided, or actually the Texans decided to agree to take Peyton Manning instead of going to Denver.
00:12:22
Speaker
Do you think they win Super Bowls?
00:12:27
Speaker
With the defense they had, with Peyton Manning playing quarterback instead of Matt Schaub, everything's the same except Matt Schaub's there. I mean, Schaub out, Peyton Manning in. The two playoff games. you know, he did win with Gary Kubiak as the head coach.
00:12:40
Speaker
Right. In Denver. So what I'm saying is that offense with an elite quarterback can win. And what that offense did was run the fucking ball. You ran the football.
00:12:52
Speaker
You had a zone running scheme that set up a hard play action that allowed guys to get deep over the middle with crossing routes that let them be open. And it fucking worked. The problem was you had Matt Schaub as your quarterback instead of an elite guy. And we had such a belief that Matt Schaub was the guy and we never got a number two wide receiver.
00:13:15
Speaker
Okay, it never worked out. And then Matt Chubb got hurt. know, who knows? But you're telling me that if you have C.J. Stroud in an offense, you know, running those bootlegs, all of a sudden it's not there?
00:13:29
Speaker
C.J. picks up 10, 12 quick yards on a first down instead of, Matt Schaub running on a naked fucking bootleg. All of a sudden, you've got CJ throwing on the run to Nico Collins, who's open. All of a sudden, you've got um Schultz actually, you know, maybe doing something this year, if that's the way that this offense is going to go.
00:13:49
Speaker
I have no problem with game planning or finding ways to win matchups, right? Like, if I've got a shitty... linebacking core and coverage, like, yeah, I'm going to draw a lot of plays up for Dalton Schultz that day. I'm fine with that.
00:14:04
Speaker
But like, yeah, I'm with You need an offensive identity. And when you've got a guy like Joe Mixon, who literally is basically the get on my fucking shoulders, let's go kind of running back, both vocally and the way he plays.
00:14:17
Speaker
That's my game plan. but give me another good backup like we had with Ben Tate that can give him a rest because we don't really have that. And then let's go. Like, that's what you should be looking at right now, the way this team is built, because you don't have a lot of cap space.
00:14:31
Speaker
Your second best wide receiver is out for next year. Stefan Diggs is not signed and you've got Nico Collins. So, you know, you're looking to maybe draft something and and catch lightning in a bottle, but your offensive identity needs to base around the fact that we run the ball,
00:14:46
Speaker
We run the ball well. It's going to draw eyes in the backfield, and then we can hit you with play action. I think what I'm most optimistic about with Kaylee, though, and this is kind of โ and I have to give the the guys the Houston Radio Network, you know, Mark Van Meere, and who's the silent reporter I keep โ Johnny Harris, man. Yeah, Johnny Harris was the one making this point.
00:15:11
Speaker
If you look at Bobby Sloak's background โ he was never, ever a position coach. Ever. He was always like, you know, quality control video guy.
00:15:24
Speaker
And so he's one of those that here's my scheme and my scheme is superior. So it should work because it's it's superior, not realizing that, well, my scheme is calling for Dalton Schultz to block a defensive end which is never going to work.
00:15:46
Speaker
Whereas Nick Cayley has been only a position coach. This year was the first year he was quote unquote passing game coordinator. Other than that, he's been tight ends coach, sometimes fullbacks coach.
00:16:00
Speaker
So, you know, it's a little bit of a different outlook in that he's going to be on the field, looking at guys and asking, what can this guy actually do? Can Dalton Schultz,
00:16:12
Speaker
actually block a defensive end? no Okay, we're not going to fucking ask him to block a defensive end.
CJ Stroud's Offensive Constraints
00:16:21
Speaker
So, you know, that gives me a little bit of, you know, encouragement that maybe something's going to look better and that you're going to have a guy that's going to, you know, wonder, okay, what can these 11 guys individually actually do?
00:16:36
Speaker
Versus here's my Madden play that I drew up. And it always works in Madden, so therefore will work in the NFL. And on top of that, like not to pile on to Bobby Boy, but let's pile on, um it's come out, right, that CJ didn't have the right to change protections at the line of scrimmage.
00:16:59
Speaker
That was the center's responsibility, if it was even allowed, right, quote, unquote, allowed. and how can you how can you sit there and look at the me go to how can you sit there in meetings with bobby watch your quarterback if i can live up and live up and live up and and not any point say hey why is cj not allowed to change the protection of the lives here please give me a reason why we were not allowing this because what i'm seeing isn't working right like
00:17:33
Speaker
I guess kudos to them for covering that up the whole season. I don't know how the fuck that didn't get out until this point. But, like, oh, my God. You know, it's just he refused he refused to change his system at all for the player CJ Straub was, right? Like, you had a guy who...
00:17:52
Speaker
is a pretty cerebral quarterback, can identify things, likes to get the ball out of his hand quickly at the line of scrimmage. And we've talked about this before. He doesn't take a deep drop because he wants to fucking get it out quick.
00:18:03
Speaker
That's his best throws, I feel like, are when he's either A, on the run, because he's a great playmaker, or B, when he just catches and throws. And you take completely take that out of the offense and and try and force him into your perfect theory of an offense, right? Like, this should work in a vacuum.
00:18:21
Speaker
But we don't live in a vacuum. And you have, as you said, Dalton Schultz, Dr. Buck, and Greg Karloftis. So, you know, it can't be worse, literally. as It cannot be worse.
00:18:33
Speaker
um But I think you've got to find a way to get creative here. you think You've mentioned in some text you think we could have around $30 million in cap space after they get done finagling, cap raises, all this other stuff. I don't i don't know if it will get that high, though.
00:18:50
Speaker
Well, is the projected amount is I think we're at 255 now, and it's between 276 and 281. So that's like, what, $25 million? Well, indeed the problem is is that everybody gets that bump.
00:19:07
Speaker
And so right now we're sitting at, I think, $500,000 over. So there are teams that are under the cap now, you know, based on last year's cap. And so those teams are going to have, you know, 40, 50, 60 million to spend.
00:19:21
Speaker
They're going to be in the same position we were last offseason, where we're able to add Alshair, Daniel Hunter, trade for Mixon, trade for Diggs. We're able to make all these big moves.
00:19:35
Speaker
We're not in position to do that. um I was going to say, know, going back to the last conversation, ah that whole thing with Shroud, Shroud, reminds me of the biggest complaint about the Guri Kubiak offense when he was here and that Matt Shaw was not able to change the play other than from pass to run or run to pass.
00:19:59
Speaker
He was not given the ability to change, like yeah really you know alter the play all that much in the Kubiak system. And so maybe that's like a West Coast thing. I would be fascinated to know if Shanahan is allowing Brock Purdy to do the same thing.
00:20:20
Speaker
That's something we don't know. um Because the other thing we don't know is that it was, is Stroud, you know, is it, was he capable of doing that? Is it, was he not allowed to do it because that's just the way we run our system? Or was he not allowed to do it? Cause he deemed that he didn't think he was capable of doing it.
00:20:38
Speaker
That's kind of a, you know, ah something we really don't have the answer to. Yeah, I don't think we'll ever know, right? But I feel like it's a a combination of, hey, we're giving you two plays, pick the one that's best.
00:20:50
Speaker
We as the coaches know what the best plays are. If the safety's high, run it. If he's not high, throw it, right? um That's what I think. i I don't know. i Peyton Manning can obviously change his play. bla like When he had Peyton in Denver, he didn't put the same restrictions on him. Yeah, but in painting Peyton by that time was practically a coach himself.
00:21:12
Speaker
So mean that's, but that's, that's my point is like with the, with the correct guy, you take the reins off. It's not, so it is, it is shop, right? Like it's not because when you had Peyton, you let the fucking range your ride. Right. But like when you had Matt shop, he was, he was bridled up.
00:21:31
Speaker
So let's say to make this a little more fun, you can afford one major free agent on both sides of the ball.
00:21:43
Speaker
without even going into names, what positions are your priority? umm I'm getting a left guard, Scott. um i'm I'm buying the best fucking left guard that money can afford can buy.
00:21:58
Speaker
The youngest and most talented, the one from the Chiefs, I want Smith. Yeah, I mean, that's that's a good play. I'm wondering if a center is more you know more important, especially if the center is in charge of communication,
00:22:14
Speaker
amongst the line. If you get a kick-ass center, does that make all the other guys better? You know, if you have a combination of a good center plus Stroud is able to call, you know, protections on the line, does that improve blocking enough?
00:22:30
Speaker
Um, on the defense, I don't want anyone with the last name green taking a snap at left guard ever again. I'm with you there. um I'm wondering, though, um on the defensive side, what would an elite defensive tackle look like in this defense?
00:22:52
Speaker
I mean, and ah you talking โ let's preface what kind of tackle, right? Are we talking like ah like a Vince Wilford nose tackle that just clogs shit up and you can't run the ball? Or are you talking like an Aaron Donald rushing tackle?
00:23:08
Speaker
pass rush kind of tackle, or more like a 4-3 kind of tackle who's bringing heat more. Well, let's say 3-4, no, not 3, 4-3 every down tackle. So let's not, you know, let's not go nuts and say Chris Jones or Aaron Donald.
00:23:28
Speaker
But that's the type of tackle, right? We're not talking about Bigs Low Fork. Yeah, so we're talking like an every down guy who you don't have to take off the field, somebody who's like just underneath a Pro Bowl level or a potential future Pro Bowler. Sean Cody.
00:23:46
Speaker
you You miss Sean Cody. Yeah, well, I mean, maybe so. Great content, too. Actually, the guy i miss is probably DJ Reader. Well, peak DJ Reader.
00:23:58
Speaker
Yeah, we fucked that up. oh because i i'm Classic Bill O'Brien move. Let me sign my two linebackers that are two down linebackers. two you know you stop you know Brian McKinney. Yeah, McKinney. let me sign a ah Cunningham. Oh, my God.
00:24:18
Speaker
Who were nice two down linebackers. Don't get me wrong. They played the wrong. Cunningham could sideline to sideline pretty good, but he yeah immediately fell apart once he left Houston. Well, they play the run well, but you ask him to be go into coverage and it's like, oh, God, you know, what are we doing? Yeah.
00:24:35
Speaker
um But if you give me a DJ reader type, I'd be happy.
00:24:43
Speaker
I'd be really happy.
00:24:46
Speaker
I want, I want to like a linebacker. I want like a tight end killer. That's what I want. Like either a linebacker or a safety or, you know, the little bit of tweener. I want another, i want a Jalen Petrie kind of player who can cover better.
00:25:05
Speaker
Like, that size, right? Like, we will continue to be ripped by elite tight ends, I feel like. Old-ass fucking Jason โ sorry, Travis Kelsey ripped us um multiple times.
00:25:19
Speaker
And so he looked terrible in the Super Bowl. He looked old and fucking slow. But against the Texans, he looked 25 again. And so, you know, there's a difference in good coverage linebackers versus what we have. And we don't have a coverage linebacker.
00:25:34
Speaker
What I like and what I want to see this team lean into is I want to see them lean into what do we do well. If this team does any, if this organization does anything well, they draft secondary players.
00:25:49
Speaker
we We know what the fuck we're doing. Derek Stingley, Lassiter. um Bullock. Bullock. All three of them are hits in the draft. Petrie.
00:26:00
Speaker
and two And two of them were, you know, Petrie's a second rounder, but in Laster's a second rounder. I'm just saying hits in the draft, though. Yeah, Bullock's a mid-rounder, and he's a hit.
00:26:13
Speaker
What I want to see them do is I would love to see them draft another safety and go ahead and cut Jimmy Ward. let's see Let's use that for cap savings. You know, I don't know how much you save there.
00:26:25
Speaker
Not a whole heck of a lot. I've heard Danico Autry is a potential cap hit. that they may cut. I don't know. I mean, he he kind of came on at the end of the season.
00:26:38
Speaker
So, you know, I don't know that how much. um When he was healthy, he had suspension. Right. I don't know how much you want to do that because I think you save like 5.6 million. And I don't know what that really gets you.
00:26:50
Speaker
You know, you'd have to couple that. Now, maybe if you cut him and Ward, maybe that put together allows you to sign another interior lineman. Maybe.
00:27:02
Speaker
yeah I don't know. i mean um but I would love to see them draft another safety and maybe another corner because this team seems to know what they're doing when they're drafting these guys.
00:27:15
Speaker
yeah I don't think you can ever have too many like good secondary players. right At the end of the day, the really, really good ones get fucking paid big time and you can't afford to pay everybody. so If you can continually restock the The shelves, because, yeah, you'll pay Stingley, you'll pay Bullock, and then who else after the that, right? Someone else needs to cover the slot. Someone else is going to play nickel and dime coverage too.
00:27:42
Speaker
So you've got to keep reloading the cover or else it's going to go bare. You know, that's what happened with Boye. At some point, you paid um Jonathan Joseph, you paid Daniel Manning, you paid all these players, and there was no money left for A.J. Boye, who at that point was your best your best corner, and you let him go.
00:28:00
Speaker
um you know what ah You know what's sick, though? I saw a graphic that Stingley and Lassiter ranked number one and number two in the NFL in quarterback rating against.
00:28:14
Speaker
It was insane, dude. I mean, but who's who's the third corner on this team? There isn't one. yeah That's my problem. Yeah, I'm with you. Go get another one.
00:28:25
Speaker
go Get another corner draft him. And you could draft him in the fourth or fifth round. Yeah. Get the slot guy. If you're going after a guy, go get special with it. Go get a fucking great slot corner from college who's coming out and it was great in the slot specifically. That's what you need him to do.
00:28:40
Speaker
You've got two guys who can lock it on the outside. Well, I'd love it i'd love some some versatility because I think, was it Lasseter that missed a couple of games this year? Yeah.
00:28:52
Speaker
Yeah. And and you when you had him out, would you have like Chris Boyd on the outside? or god it like That is correct. it was It was pretty nasty.
00:29:03
Speaker
um I like the linebacker. Here's ah an open question. i don't know what the answer to this is, but they were talking about it. Do you realize how few snaps Christian Harris got in both playoff games?
00:29:15
Speaker
No, it was like like less than 15 on both, wasn't it? So he's basically a healthy scratch. So what in the hell is going on there?
00:29:24
Speaker
He was supposed to be that linebacker who could cover. her And then, so, you know, you had, you know, you know, Henry Toa Toa came on and then Al Shayer is obviously a good linebacker, but you had, God, what's his name? The special teams guy. ne Neville Hewitt was getting more snaps than Christian Harris in the playoffs as a linebacker.
00:29:50
Speaker
He was out of practice, Will. I don't know. That's kind of a, And nobody asked D'Amico Rines about that, which is what I found kind of strange. um It must be something they know that we don't.
00:30:04
Speaker
Well, but that that's that opens your question, you know, for your position that you want as a linebacker. If they've lost faith in Christian Harris, yeah, you do need to get ah third guy in here that you trust.
00:30:19
Speaker
Now, if there's something else going on that, we don't know about that maybe he'll be back next year, then maybe that's kind of a different, you know, a whole different feel.
00:30:31
Speaker
Absolutely.
Astros' Strategic Moves
00:30:33
Speaker
Let's talk about a team that did make a big move, bringing in maybe the final piece on the various spring training. The Astros brought in Brendan Rogers, Scott, just keep adding that high end talent, Dana.
00:30:50
Speaker
So we were talking NRI guys are now big moves.
00:30:56
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I did a piece today for the crawfish boxes. I will say this. If you look at the numbers, if you take out the Coors field effect, he's a considerably better offensive player than Mauricio DeBond.
00:31:15
Speaker
And as the Astros press release said, he's a gold glove winning second baseman. Do you remember when he won that gold glove award? I don't at 2022. was a plus 22 defensive runs saved in 2022. Yeah.
00:31:34
Speaker
I had the same kind of look when I was looking at the fan grasp. I was like, Hey, look at this guy. But every other season he's been like plus three plus four.
00:31:45
Speaker
So, you know, Obviously, guys are capable of having career years with the glove, and it yeah just like they're having a career year with the bat. So, i don't know. If Altuve to left is a thing, who would be who would your second baseman be? โ
00:32:08
Speaker
ah aye a I'd like to see what Brendan Rodgers looks like, quite frankly. If Altuve is my everyday left fielder, I think defensively, Brendan Rodgers second, Dubon in center, and Chaz in right.
00:32:31
Speaker
yeah I don't like Jake Myers. Yeah. i mean, Dubon to you don't like Jake Myers. Dubon to me at the plate, Gives me kind of a difference between, you know, somewhere between cold shivers and, you know, just violent hurling.
00:32:49
Speaker
I love him in the nine hole as a slapper. I love him as a as a guy that can field any position well. I love him for that because, you know, how many guys in the Astros have honestly been able to do that over the years?
00:33:06
Speaker
We could probably count them on one hand. I'm going to say Marwin, right? Marwin, yeah. twenty But over the last, like, 30 years of following baseball, I can count fewer than five guys that have really been on Dubon's level as in, know, the ability to build. The Astros or just all around now? No, the Astros.
00:33:27
Speaker
Okay. Dubon's level is different because he wanted to go glove. Like, that's what's tough. Like, Bill Spires played a lot of different positions, right? Did he play outfield well? Yeah, remember, because he got attacked. Oh, that's right. But i don't know if he was good outfielder.
00:33:42
Speaker
So got Marlon. Can you say Lance? Played first base, center field, left field? None of them well. Well, first base well. He was a good first base. He was not. me defense Defensive metrics would not agree with each other.
00:34:00
Speaker
He was Centerfield was rough. Centerfield was fucking rough. He had that great catch on Towson. On the hill. On the hill where he fell down. Yeah. That's why I think he's good.
00:34:10
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, that one web gym, you know, makes up for, you know. But it wouldn't have been โ he tripped. Like, let's all remember. He did trip on the hill and took a bad route. Yeah. It's like I said, you know.
00:34:23
Speaker
I mean, really, realistically, though. i i just don't โ my โ My baseball sens andibility sensibility, free swingers.
00:34:36
Speaker
I mean, it's taken me years to love out Jose Altuve. And Jose Altuve has become less of a free swinger than he was when he came up.
00:34:47
Speaker
He's kind of morphed back into that, unfortunately, in recent years. But it's the one thing that keeps me from loving Jeremy Pena and Yanger Diaz is how much of free swingers they are.
00:35:00
Speaker
I like guys that are selective. That's just my baseball sensibility. And Rodgers is more selective. So you stick him at the bottom of the order, at least he'll make a pitcher work account.
00:35:12
Speaker
I feel like Dubon is up there. He doesn't strike out a lot because he's swinging at the first pitch and usually hitting it weakly somewhere. I think Dubon is a good nine hole hitter because he,
00:35:24
Speaker
makes a lot of contact and goes the other way with it. And I feel like he sets up Altuve very well, but I can see what you're saying. I, I think Meyer strikes out too much. So again, I like, I like you bond and center knowing that he can play in a position if we need him to, but I'm, I liked, I liked the move of Jake Rogers. Cause it also hedges the outfield bet, right? Because if you're looking at how bad your outfield is,
00:35:49
Speaker
and you're playing And maybe Jake Rogers had a great spring, and you're like, okay, Altuve's our left fielder. That's where we're at right now, right? Like, now the outfield only has two spots that are terrible offensively.
00:36:01
Speaker
But I've got Dubon, I've got Chaz, and I've got Jake. Really, if one of those guys steps up, I can deal with a weak hole one spot versus all them, the way it was looking earlier. And Jake Manlow against right-handers.
00:36:16
Speaker
You have what? And Ben Gamble against right-handers. That too, right? We've got Ben Gamble now too. So, you know, taking a step back, right? Each individual move, like when when you see the news come across that you signed Ben Gamble, you're like, ooh.
00:36:31
Speaker
When you see a move that you signed Brendan Rodgers, you know, take a step back and it's like, okay, if the move for Altuve is realistic, that's one spot that's not an offensive black hole.
00:36:43
Speaker
Now I've got good defense at second base. Now I've got good defense in center field, whether it's Jake or whether it's Duvon. And I'm just hoping that Chaz comes back to average Chaz, which is 250 and some pops the other way.
00:36:59
Speaker
And, you know, good defense. Yeah. And I think, you know, we were kind of poking fun at at the Astros for, you know making a quote unquote big move, but let's compare this.
00:37:11
Speaker
If we put up Brendan Rogers numbers next to Alex Verdugo, next to David Peralta. I can't even think. Mark Kena.
00:37:24
Speaker
How different are they? They're not that different. And so the fact that he's an infielder, it just means that you're shifting somebody else the outfield. Now, one thing I will say about Bren Rogers is that the numbers, like, for instance, the ex-WOBA, if we want to throw out, you know, the fancy term, that crashed last year.
00:37:46
Speaker
His strikeout rate went up considerably last year. His fielding numbers went down. Now, there were supposedly problems with his hamstrings, I think.
00:37:57
Speaker
So if he comes back healthy, do we see a better Rodgers or are we seeing a guy who's, you know, decomposing before our very eyes? Hopefully spring training gives us the answer to that.
00:38:11
Speaker
and And that's why it's a great question. minor league with a roster invite, right? Like, because we're not on the hook for it. If spring training shows that like, Hey, it wasn't the hamstrings, this guy's, this guy's hit over the other side of the hill.
00:38:24
Speaker
Great. Thanks for, thanks for playing and have fun in AAA. If you don't want to be there, then we'll cut you. Right. Like we'll, we'll do that, that do deal or that, you know, leniency and say, we're not going to send you to AAA unless really want to go to AAA.
00:38:39
Speaker
But I believe Ben Gamble is the same situation, right? He's not a non-roster invitee. It's a hedge, right? These are all great hedges because you're not just hedging on Altuve.
00:38:51
Speaker
What if DeZenzo โ again, he says, what if DeZenzo took a big jump because of his time playing winter ball and he comes up and he's fucking mashing and and that's your right fielder, right? Or what if Shea Whitcomb is the guy playing second base?
00:39:07
Speaker
And he found a way to not make errors anymore. And he's making, you know, and he's making a push for that opportunity. And he's better than Brennan Rogers in spring training. These, it's a real possibility, right? And they're already on the roster.
00:39:20
Speaker
So we still haven't moved off that luxury tax number, which was Jim Crane's goal. And now let's be honest, no penalty next year.
00:39:31
Speaker
Money comes off the books. We're in a position to reload. So, I'm not miserable about this team going into spring training, Scott. Like, I think the firepower is there. It's just at different positions. Like, you lost Kyle Tucker.
00:39:47
Speaker
You lost Alex Bregman. You've got Walker, and you've got Paredes, right? Like, those are your โ you've replaced two different guns with two different guns. Defense is probably not going to be as good in the infield as it was, at least on the left side.
00:40:02
Speaker
But at the end of the day, you've got a better first baseman. So that's going to help โ Pick up the loss of third base defense too. Maybe better second base. and you know we're moving activity Yeah. there and And one thing I'll say. And you've still got your Don fucking Alvarez too. Like yes let's not forget that you've got the best fucking left handed power hitter in the game.
00:40:24
Speaker
Yeah. No, that's that's that's absolutely true. And I think, you know, the two big guys that I think are the keys this season. You mentioned Chaz. Can we get him to 2022 Chaz?
00:40:37
Speaker
Like 2023 Chaz to me is is kind of eye in the sky. Eye in the sky. Get him to 2022 Chaz. And then to me, does Yonir Diaz take another step as a hitter?
00:40:51
Speaker
Does he kind of pair that batting average with a little bit more pop like he had in that rookie season? You know, that's kind of the next step. And, you know, part of that is, you know, he has more protection in this batting order.
00:41:07
Speaker
This batting order is deeper than it was.
Bregman's Contract and Position Dilemmas
00:41:10
Speaker
um Before we get into, you know, our favorite part of the program, I did want to shift to one of my favorite words, not even in the English language.
00:41:21
Speaker
It's in the German language. Are you familiar with schadenfreude? Oh, absolutely. Shameful joy. Thank you for having other people's pain. It's... So...
00:41:34
Speaker
we we We talked a little bit at the end of the program last week because alex the Alex Bregman news came right at the very end of our broadcast.
00:41:46
Speaker
We didn't really get much into it. You know, $40 million dollars a year, you know, good for him, good for Scott Boris for pulling a rabbit out of a hat, I guess. But what do you make of the Rafael Devers situation?
00:42:02
Speaker
I'm not playing any other position than third. I think now's the time to try and make a trade for Rafael Devers, Scott. Hey, I hear you guys have an extra third baseman.
00:42:15
Speaker
Yeah, not to play third, though. He is the worst fielding. I looked it up. He's the worst fielding third baseman in the American League, Tim. I mean, this is like, you know, the Yankees picking up Alex Rodriguez and saying, know, we can't move Jeter off a short.
00:42:31
Speaker
He's too good. got to play you at third. a and And I love, you know, Tristan Cassis. God, God love him. Did you hear his comments?
00:42:42
Speaker
I haven't heard him. like i The video was playing on Facebook without sound because was on on a work call. But, like, you could just see his face, and I could tell whatever it was was a really fucking awkward conversation.
00:42:53
Speaker
Well, because this is the easiest thing in the world. When you sit there, and and how many times have you had this conversation at work where somebody asks you a difficult question and you just give them the answer, hey, man, this is above my pay grade?
00:43:10
Speaker
I mean, that's the easiest answer in the book. I'll play wherever they put me. um you know I'm just here to help the team win. Well, no, Tristan Cass is like, you know, when he's being asked about Devers or Bregman, that easy answer, hey, that's Alex's decision.
00:43:27
Speaker
We're going to go with what he, Alex Cora's decision. We're going to go with what he, you know, what he wants to do. It's his team. Nope. Cassis can't do that. He's got to pour gasoline on the fire. Devers is the, you know, it's his spot. He's getting better and better every year.
00:43:44
Speaker
He's the best third baseman and and in the American league. And you're like, man, I want what you're smoking. Please give that, you know, Or you're the worst hype man. You're like bad dad Bob.
00:43:58
Speaker
Everything's fine. yeah All's well. Best thing to see here All's well. I mean, i don don't even know. i mean, at some point, Devers going to be the DH, right? I think when everything fucking settles, Devers is going to DH.
00:44:19
Speaker
I, what I really think would be hilarious if like all this shakes out with Trevor story, moving back to second base and Alex, Alex Blakeman plays shortstop. Like he just, he's like, fuck it. I'm here to play shortstop guys. And then he goes back on the market as a shortstop. Makes you're instead of a third baseman.
00:44:34
Speaker
I really hope that's how this ends up playing out. Like, Fuck it. Let's everybody change position. We're all going to... It's like a it's like it like a high school PE e volleyball game where after somebody's done serving, everybody just fucking wrote like rotate. So now everybody's moving over. Alex is shortstop. Trevor Story, you're going to play second base now.
00:44:54
Speaker
Kossas, you're moving to the bench because you're little fucking bitch. Devers, you're coming across to play first base. and and And now Kossas, you're back at third. Everybody, let's go. All right, rotate. like That's literally what I hope happens because it's a fucking mess.
00:45:08
Speaker
Like... and and And they deserve it. You're right. Like, it is schadenfreude. Because, like, at the end of the day, like, we shouldn't care anymore, right? He's a Red Sox, you know, enjoy your fucking money. Enjoy your cold-ass fucking weather up there.
00:45:25
Speaker
But, you know, good luck selling salsa. Like, no one's buying that shit in Boston.
00:45:32
Speaker
I don't think they're a big salsa-eating community up there, Scott. you met know So you imagine him working at second base at shortstop. We're May 15th. Here comes Alex Bregman to home plate.
00:45:46
Speaker
Ladies and gentlemen, Alex Bregman batting 186 with two home runs, 11 runs, 13 RBIs. And, oh, by the way, he's got seven errors.
00:46:00
Speaker
what is the reception for Alex Bredman going to be in Fenway Park at that point? Yeah, man. a
00:46:10
Speaker
i Again, i will never fault someone for getting their money. But, like, again, at the end of the day, um looking back at it, like, the final offers came out, right? The Astros never budged off their original offer.
00:46:25
Speaker
So, once again, it was all bullshit. Just like with... with With Correa, right? Like, they made the offer with Correa, and all the stuff comes out while they're in camp. The Astros and Correa reengaging, all that, and he goes to Minnesota, and it comes out. No, the Astros never made a second offer.
00:46:41
Speaker
So it's like, man, this shit is so fucking annoying. You know, i even I told you I don't want to fall for it during it, and I and i still did, and I still let myself get sucked into the idea that Bregman could come back.
00:46:57
Speaker
But like it seems to me like the Astros don't make a second offer, right? Like, this is the offer. You walk away, that's on you. Like, that kind of seems to be the Astros' form of negotiation, Scott. Like, if you don't take our offer, good luck.
00:47:16
Speaker
Yeah, and the thing was is that that would have made him the highest-paid Astro. would have gotten more money than Jose Altuve. And you tell me, who is more integral to the Astros' success, Bregman or Altuve? Altuve, 10 times out of 10.
00:47:33
Speaker
So the fact that they were still going to pay him more than Altuve was more than fair. And Detroit ended up offering him, what was it, 6-171? Yeah. And he didn't want that deal either. and And, of course, now we get more of this deferred money bullshit where,
00:47:51
Speaker
It's $40 million a year, but it only counts as like $31 million towards the collective bargaining tax. Baseball's got to fix this. I agree. i mean I mean, this is just silly.
00:48:04
Speaker
And it's just, I mean, one last piece that does make it starting for it, right, is, as you said, who's more integral to the Astros is Altuve. And that guy was willing to change positions. for the betterment of the team, and so you could come back, right? Like, hey, even though we've made moves, we could still get him back. I'll change positions so we can.
00:48:23
Speaker
that That's who Jose Altuve is. And, you know, I'm glad that he is an Astros for life because that's the one that would truly kill me, right? Like, I thought Correa would really, really hurt, and it did, but, like, Pena was so fun as a rookie, like, it ah kind of dulled the pain a little bit, right?
00:48:43
Speaker
And not seeing Bregman there on opening day is going to be really fucking weird. um But none of it will hurt as bad as the day that Jose Altuve is no longer on an opening day lineup.
00:48:54
Speaker
Right. I think that's the one. Here's the funny thing, though. And I sent this to you. Now, granted, Zips came up with their projections right before Bregman actually agreed with Boston.
00:49:08
Speaker
But the projections for war, Isaac Paredes, 4.0 F4. I have a great year, Scott. I think at least offensively with that short portion left, he's going have a great year.
00:49:21
Speaker
Alex Bregman, 3.9 F4, according to Zips. Now, obviously, you make some adjustments. We saw them make adjustments with Christian Walker and Paredes' numbers once they you the initial numbers came out because they projected them to Houston and what that would look like.
00:49:38
Speaker
I would love to see what Bregman's numbers going to look like in Boston with that short, you know, obviously the, the crap to doubles off the wall. So, you know, and he hits a lot of moonshots.
00:49:52
Speaker
So, you know, he may end up in hitting a, you know, more dingers than, than doubles. I don't know. I mean, i mean, he's, it's going to be hard to say, but you're basically kudos to Dana Brown for replacing him.
00:50:07
Speaker
with a comparable player at the very worst. So it's not like you went from, because the part of what you just mentioned, going from Korea to Pena made that a lot less painful because, you know, while Pena is never going to be Carl's Korea, he's still a good player.
00:50:26
Speaker
He's still a good player, right? Yeah. You know, George Springer, you know, goes away. Kyle Tucker comes up. So, you know, a lot of these guys get replaced.
00:50:37
Speaker
You know, Garrett Cole leaves, and then you have a bevy of these, you know, Latin you know American pitchers that, you know, nobody thought would do anything, and suddenly they end up. You know, I love me some fucking pompito. Robert, Christian Javier, Luis Garcia, Jose Arquiti, all these guys suddenly, you know, all of them pitch well.
00:51:00
Speaker
So, i mean, it's not really so much โ the pain of losing guys is the fact that they've always had somebody there to take the spot. I mean, this is the first time we don't in some ways.
00:51:14
Speaker
It could be. I mean, i don't think there's anybody there to take Tucker's spot. I mean, there's not going to be anybody. One hope is Cam Smith. That maybe we're going next year. That maybe. But, he yeah, there's nobody this year.
00:51:27
Speaker
Chaz McCormick is not Kyle Tucker. no No. No, he's never going to be. I'm a little bit higher on Jake Myers than you are, but he's at best a league average hitter.
00:51:40
Speaker
I mean, that's the but very tippy tip of his ceiling. And he's never shown us that. and And, yeah, he showed us that, well, briefly before he crashed his shoulder.
00:51:51
Speaker
and Three years ago, pre-injury. Yeah, I mean, but defensively, he's he's a plus defensive center field. That's great. So you cant you can afford that if โ if Chaz is good.
00:52:04
Speaker
You can't write afford that if they both fucking suck. Right. And then, you know, of course you, you mentioned Dubon. Dubon is available to play center field in that, in, in that scenario. Chaz is available to play center field in that scenario.
00:52:18
Speaker
If he's actually average. So you have options. Yeah. I love a scenario, Scott. We're like, Dezenzo's raking. Chaz is raking.
00:52:29
Speaker
Brendan Ryan earns a roster spot right to play second. And now all of a sudden, like Chaz in center, Dezenzo in right, now two men left. And like, you've got three good hitters. And Gamel, you know, the play against, you know, the Fridays, you know, yeah, it's, it's, I like what Dana Brown has done.
00:52:50
Speaker
I think Dana Brown, you know, for, And nobody's going to give kudos for a guy for staying underneath the collective bargaining tax. But that was clearly the mandate. You don't trade Ryan Presley for the package you got because, oh, that's a good baseball move.
00:53:09
Speaker
You're doing it to cut salary. Yeah. And honestly, Scott, I think we both agree for good reason, right? Like, yeah, you have so much dead money coming off next year.
00:53:21
Speaker
You can truly rebuild this thing. with some good moves, especially like, Hey, let's see what this f roster looks like next year. Let's see what some of these young guys do. Let's see what Paredes looks like.
00:53:32
Speaker
And then at the end of the day, you know, Hey, I need two starters. Hey, I need a center fielder. Hey, I need a, I need a, um, a closer. I need whatever it is. You know what it is now.
00:53:43
Speaker
Well, imagine if you had like all of your hitters produced that you mentioned. Okay. We re-signed Fromber to a big money deal. And we get another frontline starting pitcher.
00:53:55
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, that now, you know, let's go. And then you have, you know, Hunter Brown is your third starter. You've got Spencer Arrighetti as your fourth starter.
00:54:06
Speaker
You've got all those guys that are coming out. Well, you've got all those other guys coming off of arm injuries. 2026 are going to be suddenly healthy.
00:54:18
Speaker
Excluding Lance McCullers, because I think he's like, is Has anybody ever seen him and Bigfoot in the same place at the same time? Hey, they say he looks fantastic in camp right now.
00:54:32
Speaker
I was going to say, is he is that going to be like a and what Warren Zavon? You know, ah saw him drinking a pina colada at Trader Dix.
00:54:42
Speaker
His hair was perfect.
00:54:49
Speaker
Oh, werewolves of the mound. but i What if it's like, what if at this point is just like fantasy camp, right? Like it's when George Costanza went to fantasy camp with the Yankees. Like that's just what this is for Lance McCullers. It's like fantasy camp and he gets to go to training camp for a week and hang out with the guys and go, okay guys, have a good season. I'll see you later.
00:55:11
Speaker
If they start, if they start eating Snickers with a fork, I'm leaving. How do you eat it, Scott? With my hands.
00:55:22
Speaker
Oh, all righty. Let's, uh, let's give out some awards. So who do you have this week as your horse's ass of the week? Okay. So horse's ass, I am going to go, um, I mentioned this earlier.
00:55:36
Speaker
um, I know you're going to go in a similar direction, kind of adjacent, but, I really like what the and NHL has done where they've gone with the, you know, the four countries in this kind of a tournament round robin tournament and hockey players seem to care a whole lot more than their basketball counterparts.
00:55:58
Speaker
don't want to step on your toes a little way too much here, but in the game between the United States and Canada, there were three fights within the first nine seconds.
00:56:09
Speaker
Thank God for hockey. And that's the only thing about hockey. That's actually any fun is, don't know if you, have you ever been to like lower level minor league hockey?
00:56:20
Speaker
Oh, I've sat on the ice and fucking banged glass at arrows games. Well, the lower level, ah we we went to a Fort Worth game where that's like even like their version of like a ball or double a he two minutes for roughing.
00:56:37
Speaker
That's the, that's the penalty for fighting. Did I ever tell you about the Valentine's Day massacre of a game that I called um for the, it was the Sugar Land Imperials hockey team?
00:56:49
Speaker
um They were like 0-17 at this point in the season. They were like formed really late. So they got like the scraps of like everybody else who didn't make a team. So they were all undersized and they had spent the whole season just getting fucking manhandled.
00:57:02
Speaker
And on this Valentine's night, they just decided no more. So they're down like 7-0 in the second period. And it turns into a full shift-on-shift fucking brawl.
00:57:14
Speaker
And I went from like calling a hockey game to him'm like six different boxing matches at once. Goalies are coming out like eyeing each other up, like let's go. They had a three game set that they had to cancel the next two games because of how many fucking suspensions were levied for the night of the fight. Like it was, it was the most fun I've ever had on air in my entire life.
00:57:34
Speaker
One of my favorite SNL ads, old, old SNL ad was a Budweiser light. Yeah. And so you had Joe Piscopo and Robin Williams, they were like doing the face off, and you've got the Joe Piscopo voiceover in his head.
00:57:50
Speaker
So he's the top scorer in the league. Why do I care? I can't believe my wife ran off with him. So the referee drops the puck and just Piscopo just cold cocks him with his, you know, stick, and there's like a huge brawl.
00:58:09
Speaker
And they're both, you know, they're all fighting. And at the end, they kind of stare off. And the last thing you see is Robin Williams sitting next to Joe Piscopo on the ice while everybody else is fighting.
00:58:19
Speaker
They both got Budweiser lights and they're just, you know, sitting there drinking. And oh it was awesome. But OK, so here's here's why the United States and and Canada. Terrific.
00:58:32
Speaker
I am not going to call you know fighting a horse's ass. Now, the horse is asked. Doesn't even go to the Canadian fans. The Canadian fans booed the U.S. national anthem.
00:58:44
Speaker
You know what? If I were Canadian, Tim, I would be booing myself. Because as so many people have said. They weren't booing the U.S. hockey team.
00:58:57
Speaker
They weren't even booing the United States. They were booing the president of the United States. That's who where they were booing. And. It was just like when we go back to the whole Colin Kaepernick. I remember having these arguments on Facebook. Of course, that's going to step on my future toes here in this episode.
00:59:17
Speaker
And this, you know, this one guy comes on. He's like, well, you know, how can you kneel to our national anthem? We're representing the United States. And I'm like, are we playing an NFL game against Vietnam?
00:59:30
Speaker
What the you the fuck are you talking about, dude? what You know, And it's like they don't even realize that the whole idea of playing the national anthem is a paid for spot by the Department of Defense.
00:59:44
Speaker
Department of Defense pays you to do the national anthem before sporting events. Now, I love the national anthem. I love the flag. I will always stand and I will always, you know, I'll put my hand over my heart.
00:59:58
Speaker
And that and I'll do that. But. here's the thing. and And I had this guy on the radio where you can't tell me it's not about hockey because it was at a hockey game. like, no, you diff shit.
01:00:12
Speaker
It's because this is a public forum and this is the spot where it makes sense to do this. Cause I could be in my, you know, my living room and and I could watch the Nathalines and go on. I can just go, who the fuck's going to hear that?
01:00:31
Speaker
my family, they're going to be like, dad, what the hell are you doing? I'm booing the national anthem. Okay. You do it at a public event where people are going to hear it and it's going to have some effect.
01:00:47
Speaker
If you're Colin Kaepernick, you kneel during the anthem because that's a public forum and that's where it's going to have an effect. You don't do it because you're disrespecting the league. You don't do it because you're disrespecting it. It's,
01:01:01
Speaker
You're doing it because you're calling attention to something and that's your form of protest. So I'm not calling the horse's ass the people protesting. I'm calling the horse's ass the people who are responding to the protesting as if it's anything but a fuck you to the president of the United States, which is what it should be.
01:01:24
Speaker
A well-deserved fuck you to the president yeah of the United States. And it's, what's frustrating with that, Scott, too, is People love when it's the opposite, right? Like people love when an athlete uses their platform to glorify God, right? Like they love the Tim Tebow's. They love seeing CJ Stroud say, you know, I just want to use my platform to give thanks to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and then start answering your question, right? They love that.
Critique of NBA All-Star Weekend
01:01:48
Speaker
But when you use the platform or the opportunity you have to shake the status quo, they don't like that so much. Yep. All right, Scott, my horse's ass this week is the National Basketball Association.
01:02:05
Speaker
I, for the longest time, enjoyed NBA All-Star Weekend. The futures game of first versus second year players, the skills contest, the slam dunk contest, the three-point shootout, the celebrity game was always something that I enjoyed.
01:02:24
Speaker
But then, like, somewhere along the way, We started, as we do in today's society, fucking with it. Instead of just letting the East play the West, we had, hey, we're going to have each game, each quarter, as like its own game.
01:02:43
Speaker
And then like the final quarter is like the big game. And whoever gets like to 25 first, but then the final quarter has the time. And then it was, this year we're going to play a series of round-robin tournament games.
01:02:55
Speaker
to see who the real winner of the Futures game is. And then we're going to take all the best players off those rosters anyway and combine into one roster and have the fucking Futures slash G League team play against the NBA All-Star team against the fucking Harlem Globetrotters and the Washington Generals.
01:03:16
Speaker
And also the court looks like it was the one from fucking Looney Tunes. And Alfred St. Goon got like 16 seconds of playing time and with this new fucking format. And LeBron James opts out eight hours before the game starts so they can't even fill the fucking roster spot with a worthy player.
01:03:34
Speaker
Like, what are we doing? this This is the crown jewel of your sport, right? Like, this is the let's showcase our best players. Let's showcase what we do. And like all eyes were on you.
01:03:47
Speaker
There's no football. There's no baseball. It was only NBA all-star weekend. And holy fucking shit, that could not have been worse.
01:03:59
Speaker
It was terrible. I tried to watch Scott and i I made it like six minutes of the all-star game. And I watched like as much of Amen as I could the first night, but even that was rough. Like, all I wanted to do was watch Amen and Sangoon, and you got 16 seconds of Sangoon in the All-Star game.
01:04:18
Speaker
You're a better man than me, Tim, because I did not catch one solitary second of the NBA Weeks. And and here's here's the โ so you have your three-time winner of the NBA Duck Contest.
01:04:32
Speaker
What team does he play for, Tim? McClung is on the 76ers, right? Or is he on Orlando now? Well, he's in the Orlando Magic organization.
01:04:43
Speaker
Oh, he's made more money from dunk contests than he's made from game checks. He's a G-leaguer. so is the best So the best athlete dunker in your sport is a G-leaguer.
01:04:57
Speaker
Now, could you imagine that if, like, And the winner of the 2025 Gatorade Home Run Derby Contest. Crash Davis.
01:05:09
Speaker
Seth Beer. it's Crash Davis, man. You got to have someone like fucking Home Run King of the minor leagues. Well, was thinking of somebody real like Seth Beer. He's not, you know, probably not going to the team.
01:05:21
Speaker
Pedro Leone. Yes. But, you know. Here's the thing, and and I feel for Adam Silver in a sense because he's trying to solve a problem, but he's not even looking at the direct problem.
01:05:41
Speaker
but There's no problem. The game was fine. The problem is is that these players don't give a shit. And they're trying to find a way. watched the Pro Bowl? Well, they solved the problem by canceling it, basically.
01:05:56
Speaker
And so if you're the NBA and then you had, you know, Kevin Durant, well, we just want a break. So imagine how shitty you look when you can, you know, you juxtapose that with the NHL or having their all-star break in the exact same weekend.
01:06:14
Speaker
You have guys skating around blood everywhere, teeth missing, and they're playing like, you know, it's the last game of their lives. And then it's like, like people like LeBron James, know,
01:06:25
Speaker
Oh, I got sand in my penis. I don't know if I can play. i don't know. I've got like a stomach bug. I don't know.
01:06:36
Speaker
um and just don't feel like it. You know, it's not a good look, Tim. And Adam Silver, I mean, they're trying, you know, they've got all this load management crap.
01:06:49
Speaker
You know, and I hate to go back in my day, but back in my day, guys used to play 82 games. They didn't take nights off. But now it seems like, you know, we're and they're trying to have all these rules where you have to play in a minimum number of games in order to be eligible for postseason awards.
01:07:09
Speaker
All of these things they're trying to do to mandate stuff that players should be doing anyway. And they're trying to mandate that players care about the All-Star game. So you're trying to manufacture all this crap to figure out, have they ever tried like America against Europe?
01:07:26
Speaker
You know maybe that would, you maybe that would do something. I don't know. But you've got, yeah, they're trying all these kinds of things. The players don't care.
01:07:39
Speaker
that's weird to me, Scott, because, like, they want the honor of being named an all-star, right? Like, they want that because there's financial incentive in their contract for that. Well, the the incentive needs to be you're playing the fucking game, right? Like you can't just anymore tie it to you got voted.
01:07:58
Speaker
Like, no, unless you're injured, you need to play because like, yes, some guys skip the MLB all-star game, but like that is a fun game to watch. The whole weekend is still fun. You are showcasing the talent of the league. It is a weekend for the players.
01:08:14
Speaker
And I don't know but that the, the stuff that the pro ball does now, like at least those guys look like they're having a good time. They want to go. Right. um It just seems like it's a fucking drag for these dudes. And it's, I don't know what it is about the NBA lifestyle that being named an all-star and being asked to play 15 minutes on Sunday night when you're going to have the next few days off. Anyway, there's your break, Kevin.
01:08:40
Speaker
um I don't know. it's It used to be you to recruit guys, right? Like, if your team was hosting the All-Star break when James Harden was a Rocket, he took you out to the titty bar and he showed you around town and said, hey, imagine coming here.
01:08:54
Speaker
Yeah, and and of course you get Jose Altuve who takes every All-Star game off, at least in recent years. and And I don't know how much of that is him wanting a rest and how much of that is um he doesn't want to get booed for you know the scandal or you know whatever it is.
01:09:12
Speaker
I don't know. But you you got you hit the nail on the head because who participates in Home Run Derby? It's all the big stars. You know, who's you know playing in the All-Star game?
01:09:24
Speaker
90% of them are the big stars. yeah and And to me, you know, I guess maybe you risk injury less than a non-contact sport. Maybe that's it.
01:09:36
Speaker
I don't know. 95-mile-an-hour fastball, the fucking head's going to hurt you no matter you know what you're playing, right? If you're not locked if you're not locked in, you're getting hurt. Well, yeah, and if you're a pitcher, a 95-mile-an-hour pitch might be the last pitch you throw.
01:09:51
Speaker
I mean, we've seen that with Lance McCullers, right? Lance is taking some shrapnel today, man. But, you know, but the point is, is that yeah i love you know, my my the most gruesome injury, do you remember โ I don't know if you were watching baseball at this point, but Dave Drovecki.
01:10:10
Speaker
Is that the one where the arm just blew up as he threw? Yeah. And they had to amputate it That was fucking gross. And then the most gross things I've ever seen in my entire life. Of course. And then with the Astros, the Astros, you know, would have been like right arm discomfort.
01:10:26
Speaker
Yeah. A lesser version of that happened to a buddy of mine where like he was pitching in high school and he broke his arm throwing and like the ball, like hit the batter in the face and like the, He's laying on the mound, like clutching his arm. The batter's laying on the batter's box, like blood going everywhere. The kid's dad's just standing in the stands going, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?
01:10:48
Speaker
You know the best story I've ever heard, have you heard of a Larry Yount? Larry Yount? Yes. Yeah, of course. Robin Yount's brother? Mm-hmm. Have you ever seen his baseball reference page?
01:11:01
Speaker
It's not very long. Well, he never actually officially recorded an out because he was brought into the warm up. And I think he told people like, hey, look, I'm going to break off the biggest curveball anybody's ever seen during warm up pitches.
01:11:17
Speaker
He blows his fucking arm. mean, yeah, it's, you know, it can, you know, it can happen at any point at any time in any sport.
01:11:31
Speaker
Yeah. You know, that's, you know, but at least baseball and hockey, those guys are like, let's fucking go. We're, you know, basketball. It's honor.
01:11:43
Speaker
It's an honor to play in front of these fans to be named and represent my franchise, right? Like, don't know. It goes in line with your scumbag. goes on with your your your horse's ass, right? Like, yeah it's not about baseball. It's not about the basketball. It's about the fans and it's about being a representative of the, of the team.
01:12:03
Speaker
It's yeah, man, we suck now. All right. Let's do some nice things. Let's, uh, what you say? We tip us tip a cap or two here, Scott.
01:12:15
Speaker
All right. So my hat tip is going to go to TCA TCU head men's basketball coach, Jamie Dixon. Um, a couple of personal milestones that he's hit this season.
01:12:27
Speaker
He got his 500th career coaching win a couple of weeks ago. Last night, defeated the number nine ranked Texas Tech Red Raiders.
01:12:38
Speaker
Yeah, that pissed my wife off. Now, did you ever watch Blue Chips? Yeah. And I love the point at the end where he he sat there when he kind of flipped out and told everybody the truth, and he said, the best coaching job I did.
01:12:55
Speaker
was last year's team where I didn't have a whole lot of talent and managed to be 500. So Jamie Dixon's Horned Frogs, they're 15 and 10 overall. That's kind of blah.
01:13:07
Speaker
They're eight and seven in conference. That's kind of blah. But this is a down year in terms of talent. You know, they graduated their best player and nobody was expecting much of them. Now they've got five conference games left.
01:13:24
Speaker
Maybe if they finish four and one, maybe if they win a tournament game, maybe two, maybe they can sneak into the NCAA tournament. I'm not holding my breath.
01:13:36
Speaker
I mean, I think this team probably finishes looking at the schedule three and two in conference, which would be 11 and nine overall conference record. I mean, that's better than average.
01:13:50
Speaker
That would be 18 eighteen wins It would end up, you know, maybe you get a win in conference. Maybe they go to the NIT. But you know what? He's done a hell of a job with this team.
01:14:03
Speaker
Not all of us can be, you know, loaded rosters like the Cougars you got over there. Actually, that's not fair because you stole my idea for a hat tip and you're saying our roster is loaded, but it's not.
01:14:16
Speaker
Well, I mean, we're we're not as loaded as the Cougars. Now, the Cougars are not as loaded as they have been in years past. I'll grant you that. Which is why I was tipping my cap to Coach Sampson for literally doing exactly what you're saying your coach is doing, which is getting us to number six in the country or five in the country with losing a good chunk your roster.
01:14:36
Speaker
Well, and and how many ranked teams are there in the Big 12? There's like, what, four or five? UH is five. Arizona is 19. iowa State's eight. Texas Tech is nine. That'll go down.
01:14:50
Speaker
Kansas is 23. So that's one, two, three, four, five. So that's five ranked teams in the conference. Is there any other conference in America that has five ranked teams?
01:15:01
Speaker
I'd have to see what the SEC looks like.
01:15:05
Speaker
yeah He's got Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, Florida, Tennessee, Auburn. I'm sure some of those are yeah those were right.
01:15:16
Speaker
You could argue, and and I think you would agree with me, the Big 12 is the best basketball conference in the country. I would argue with that. Yeah, I would agree with you. So, you know, to me, being a 500 team in the best conference, you know is, I mean, ah i'm not going to throw any ticker tape parades, but the guy deserves a hat tip.
01:15:38
Speaker
No, and I'm with you. Because I literally was, my plan was to hat tip Coach Samson for the same thing. You go right ahead. They took down, ah they had a big win the other night. They're playing Iowa State tonight.
01:15:50
Speaker
I'm sorry, on on Friday night. it It's a ah season that I was not looking โ like, we lost three games early, right? And we're 22-4.
01:16:00
Speaker
Still playing what I think is probably the best defense in America on a night-in and night-out basis and have for five years, Scott. Like, I would say it's been a solid five years of if you play UH, you're going to be held under 60 points most likely.
01:16:15
Speaker
um and that just it goes to show the culture of coach sampson right like you lost sasser who i think was the heart and soul of this team i'm sorry uh shed who is the heart and soul of this team you lost sasser you lost jalen walker like you've lost an unbelievable amount talent over the last two seasons um and yet here you are first place in the top basketball conference in the country and the fifth best team in the country and again you lost three games early in the season so um I'm tipping my cap to to Coach Sampson because this is a year that I was honestly worried about um with with just the losses that we've had.
01:16:52
Speaker
But โ it just shows It just goes to show you, right, like blue blood programs are that way for a reason. And it's the culture that they set. Like when you've got certain levels of coaches in in college basketball, the Calipari's of the world, the Bill Self's of the world, the Mike Krzyzewski's of the world, and I'll include them, you know, Coach Sampson, those guys have a a standard that they hold you to day in and day out in practice.
01:17:17
Speaker
and And it shows on the court. Yeah. And I think, you know, with the more players that are going to enter the league, the more you're going to get that top end talent. Because if if I'm a kid and I see, Hey, you know, look, you know, Sasser's in the league.
01:17:34
Speaker
Hey, look, Walker's in the league. Hey, look, Shed's in the league. Then I'm going to sit there and go like, maybe Samson can get me into the league. And that, you that's what these kids are, are looking at, you know, and, and,
01:17:49
Speaker
I'm not a big Calipari guy.
Coaching Skills and Tournament Preparations
01:17:51
Speaker
I think he's a great recruiter. I don't know how great of a coach he is, but um the guy, you know, i would compare Samson to is actually, who's that Michigan state coach?
01:18:04
Speaker
Tom Izzo. Yeah. Tom, you know, those are guys that, you know, they, cause Izzo's, you know, the Michigan state guys, they don't have a ton of huge big time mega stars in the NBA. Yeah.
01:18:19
Speaker
drain Yeah, but he's but he was a second rounder. Shed, right? like Shed was a second rounder within his rookie year as a starting point guard in the NBA. so i mean You're talking about teams that win 20-plus games every year with not necessarily you know the talent. because yeah know it's It's one thing to be a Duke and to be a Kentucky and to have like three or four blue-chip, four-five-star guys.
01:18:46
Speaker
Yeah. you know, a trained monkey could probably win 15 games a year with that squad, but to have guys that are maybe like three-star guys and turn that into 20 wins, I mean, that takes some doing.
01:19:01
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, they're five and over their last five. They beat Arizona state, Arizona, Baylor, Colorado and Oklahoma state. So great, great run here by the Cougs getting prepped for tournament time. I'm excited.
Controversies and Debates
01:19:13
Speaker
Um, But, yeah, let's let's move on to the scumbag of the week, Scott. Who do you have for us this week? Well, I'm going to keep it classy, Tim.
01:19:26
Speaker
You always keep it classy, Scott. Yeah, I'm not going to call out specific names. But, you know, you and I have both bannered this, you know, on on the air, off the air, through text, through our articles on Substack.
01:19:44
Speaker
Thoughts of a Native Texan. Tim had a terrific one this week. Please, you know, check that one out. Basically, the whole idea of Tim's was smart people doubt themselves. Dumb people don't.
01:19:57
Speaker
and And I couldn't agree with you more. And so I had an an argument on, you know, online on the Facebook with some people, you know, basically about the past administration, which kind of morphed into the fact that We've had three plane crashes in the last three weeks, Tim.
01:20:16
Speaker
We didn't. How many did we have in previous 20 years? Not many. i mean, I can't think of any. Zero. Zero.
01:20:29
Speaker
And so I'm like, well, did maybe. Firing need the head of the f FAA have anything to do with that? Maybe offering people, you know, an early buyout and forcing them out of their positions have anything do with that?
01:20:43
Speaker
Or maybe like, oh, you're a woman, you must be incompetent. You were a DEI hire, get the fuck out. Did that have anything to do with that? You know, I'd like to think that probably something, right?
01:20:57
Speaker
So instead of having a civil discussion back and forth, the kind of the go-to there was that i i was too stupid to be brainwashed.
01:21:16
Speaker
I don't, I don't, I'm that one kind of, uh, kind of baffles me, Tim, for a couple of different reasons. I've had some of other people sit there and say, well, you're too stupid to vote for your best interest.
01:21:27
Speaker
Okay. yeah, uh, uh, uh, Seem to know I have a master's degree. But, you know, you. you All right. You know, I was a political science major, taught government for years. But, OK, you you you tell me all that you know about how government agencies work.
01:21:50
Speaker
You go. Just go ahead. Give it give it to me. Let me let you know. Edumacate me about you know how these things work. So really it's not so much of people being stupid. nia And, you know, Tim asked this question off air. Is it the fact that these are people that were my friends that I'm realizing were stupid or is it the fact that they're being rude? It's a little bit of both because how do you treat a friend or a family member and you're that, you know, just dismissive and you must be an idiot.
01:22:25
Speaker
And it's like, especially with family. And it's like, You know, having, you know, like somebody from my wife's family, not going to name names again, who's like, you know, you're an idiot. And it's like.
01:22:38
Speaker
um How far did you go in school, by the way? Just just asking, asking for a friend. Oh, high school diploma. I guess that's better than a GED, d you know.
01:22:51
Speaker
Golf clap.
01:22:56
Speaker
You know, I. I just, I don't know what to do with these people, Tim. I, I'm with you. I had, I had several engagements ah this week where was told I don't understand the difference between political philosophies. Cause I said, liberals want to keep the status quo and Republicans and MAGA is want fuck it all up or something. He's like, I don't think you understand what a liberal is Socialists want to blow everything up.
01:23:24
Speaker
And I'm like, you just like socialists want socialism. Liberals want the status quo because capitalists make money. And they're like, can you name any liberal that's okay with capitalism? I'm like, Nancy Pelosi made a ton of fucking money on the stock market. Like that. Y'all claim she's like your liberal queen.
01:23:40
Speaker
What are you talking about? Fucking, you know, block you. You're done. I'm done with you. Then someone else is like, you need to do your homework. So then I post like, Four different definitions of like what each political thing is liberal mind rot, just like for the fifth time.
01:23:57
Speaker
I'll say it loud. I'll say it proud. I'm not a fucking liberal. I'm so far left of liberal. People can't even comprehend it on the Internet. But yet I'm the one who needs to go do my fucking homework. Go look up what anarchy is, my friend.
01:24:08
Speaker
Go look up what leftism is, my friend. Go look up what, like, true populism is. Like, you want to really do your homework, come at me. Because, like, I literally know more about history than 90% of people who live in this country.
01:24:20
Speaker
And, no, I don't have a history to degree, but I just love history. And I listen to nothing but left-leaning history podcasts in my spare fucking time. I can do this all goddamn day. Well, this is the way โ and that's what kills me is that when people call me anything โ It's like, I don't know what to call myself anymore.
01:24:40
Speaker
So, yeah, you're free to call me whatever you think I am. I'm not even sure what I am. I love when people try to insult me by calling me a Democrat. And I'm like, it's insulting to me, but not for the reason that you think it is. Like, I also think, like, the Democratic establishment sucks, but not because they're communist socialist pieces of shit, because they did nothing, right? Like, I think they're they're frustrating for whole other reasons, but like, it's just but people are, it's the hardest thing about this time period right now, Scott is realizing like how many fucking idiots are just around us on a day-to-day basis. Right? Like I feel like it was like understood, but not talked about, right? Like ask, don't tell policy about like how fucking stupid people are, but now they just put it out there.
01:25:30
Speaker
Now it's just like, they're fucking walking around with the IQ and it's not a football Jersey number, number 15. Like that's their fucking IQ at this point. And I don't even think like IQ is a real, I'm just saying these people are mentally ill.
01:25:45
Speaker
Like we're even below stupid. We're in like, just, you would be in remedial fucking math right now. Did you see like Christy gnome on the Sunday show and the Sunday, you know, my favorite was, it's like, so she was like,
01:25:59
Speaker
Well, they're, you know, that Elon Musk and and the Doge boys, they're in there because we can't trust the government. And the commentator's like, but you are the government. And then she said, exactly.
01:26:12
Speaker
You're just like, what? I hope she wore a condom shot because she just mind fucked the shit out of everybody. i mean, and that's where John Oliver, he had the best line of it. He says, are we sure that she shot that dog?
01:26:29
Speaker
Maybe she just talked to the dog and the dog's head just went.
01:26:34
Speaker
ivi my god its like I mean, I feel like my brain cells want to jump off the Empire State Building after listening to these people.
01:26:45
Speaker
Yeah, they're they're committing Harry Carey. I mean, it's like that my favorite line from ah from Billy Madison. It's like nowhere did you come anywhere near.
01:26:57
Speaker
What could be called a rational thought? May God have mercy on your soul. All of us are dumber for having this. You are awarded zero points, sir. and May God have mercy on your soul.
01:27:11
Speaker
the The ethics of business can... I love that. A simple no would have suffice.
01:27:20
Speaker
I love he goes into the whole story about the puppy. He's like, and the puppy is all of us. Each one of us is the puppy. We have lost our way. We are. the But realistically, Scott, America is that fucking puppy right now. We've lost our way. I love that with, you know, Bradley Whitford's character is awesome. and He's like, OK, what kind of business ethics?
01:27:42
Speaker
The
Criticism of Elon Musk
01:27:43
Speaker
ethics of business can be summarized as business ethics are he pulls out the gun. I love what he gets shoved over the bench. He's like, I just saw the old guy's balls.
01:27:57
Speaker
That's a great movie. Unbelievably wonderful film that is Billy Madison. right who do you Who do you got? Who's your scumbag? I am going to talk about our good friend Elon Musk.
01:28:16
Speaker
I hate him. We know I hate Elon. I literally, whatever. But for this specific thing, again, Elon was the, eat as much as arguing with idiots on Facebook as is frustrating, Elon was the inspiration for that article, Scott.
01:28:39
Speaker
Elon thinks he knows everything and he doesn't know fucking anything. And those are the most fucking dangerous people in the world. The man doesn't even understand how to code. And he's going through and looking at, you know, who's being paid from Social Security saying that people are listed as 150 years old.
01:28:57
Speaker
Well, like, that's how cobalt fucking coding works. And the zero is when you don't know somebody's age. And that's just what you put in instead. But he's out there telling America that we're people were paying 150 year olds.
01:29:11
Speaker
He's out there saying, I'm going to send everybody $5,000 checks from all the money you saved. The fuck. All right. Right here, baby. Fucking pay it up because you're full of shit.
01:29:22
Speaker
Right? Like you are having your 13th child with your fourth different woman. You are destroying lines of code.
01:29:35
Speaker
You built a website that was so poorly secured it was hacked and like all the information that was on it was stolen. You fired nuclear fucking engineers then realized, oh fuck, we need these people.
01:29:50
Speaker
And then couldn't figure out a cell phone number.
01:29:57
Speaker
You You have been stopped by federal judges on like 19 different things. And you hop on Twitter and tell people they've committed, like anyone who criticized you on Twitter, Elon comments, you've committed a crime. and The FBI will be contacting you.
01:30:15
Speaker
Right? Like you're just a fucking moron at this point. And it's just unfortunate that you have so much goddamn fucking money that we can't just laugh you away.
01:30:26
Speaker
Like if Elon wasn't rich, if this man was just a run of mill dude who was like in your friend group, right? Like if you had someone who like was a friend of a friend or like your wife was,
01:30:41
Speaker
knew a friend, and this was her husband, right? And he came to the outing. And this dude just started talking about all this shit and was just wrong about all of it, but just yelled at you and said, you've committed a crime!
01:30:52
Speaker
Like... Well, you know... You don't want hang out with this guy anymore? and Going back to my Facebook thing is, you know, you got into some of my... two of my guys that I graduated with.
01:31:05
Speaker
And I ended up blocking one of them because finally, you know, he pushed me on the whole... It wasn't a diamond mine. It was an emerald mine, which I made that mistake. I made that mistake. But no, he said, well, he did. didn't own emerald mines.
01:31:19
Speaker
He was actually poor. So Elon came from nothing and all this. and And he's actually an expert and all this stuff. And I said, he's never designed anything. And then that's when he came back. What do you mean?
01:31:34
Speaker
It's like, do you think he's, like, fucking sitting with schematics, sitting there thinking, okay, let me design this rocket? People honestly think he's like Tony fucking Stark. People think he is a real-life Iron Man because he's out there with this stupid fucking flamethrower one time.
01:31:47
Speaker
i mean, do you do you think, like, he's sitting there, like, with a slide roll in his you know in his pocket? Here, let me do the measurements so I can make sure that this Cybertruck, which is the ugliest piece of shit that I've ever seen before in my life,
01:32:00
Speaker
In fact, you know, I've seen like one or two drive around the neighborhood and it's like, well, there's the fucking asshole. You know, you need a red hat. Another idiot's just letting himself, hey guys, I'm a fucking moron. i paid you $100,000 for the worst car on the road.
01:32:13
Speaker
i don't need a red hat anymore. I can just have the Cybertruck. yeah But, you know, to sit there and ask, like, what do you mean he's not designing? It's like, do you honestly think he's designing any of this shit?
01:32:27
Speaker
Really? Really? And the fact that, you know, half his vehicles seem to what catch on fire or but he's going to make himself drive, that they're going to actually cause fatalities.
01:32:39
Speaker
You know, when you have one blowing up in front of a ah ah Vegas hotel and you're like, is this a terrorist event or is this Tesla just being Tesla? yeah That's the biggest indictment of all, right? One blows up in front of a hotel and you're like, let's pump the brakes until we know that this wasn't just a bad fucking Tesla because that is a thing.
01:32:59
Speaker
Oh, my God. Yeah. But that's but that's who we are. That's who we're letting go with a fine tooth fucking comb through my financial data as he as he goes through the Treasury and the IRS. Yeah. you You fucking scumbag, man. Like and I don't think I haven't noticed that he's wearing the black fucking hat either. Like he's the fucking black hat cowboy riding in a fucking town.
01:33:22
Speaker
Like i I can't think of a ah bigger pussy. than Elon Musk. Like, I truly think, like, if you said, I will give you a billion dollars if you can knock me out in one round.
01:33:37
Speaker
I will give you one round, Elon. Train as long as you fucking want. Do all the steroids. Do all the ketamine you want before you hop in there. I will do nothing. I will do absolutely no training.
01:33:49
Speaker
I'm still taking me. Yeah, and that scene in the Oval Office... was about as as perfect imagery as you could find, you know, with the president, the actual elected president, sitting there looking like a bored four-year-old because he's going to have to sit in the corner while daddy over there, you know, tells everybody everything. And then his four-year-old sitting there saying, get out of that chair. You don't belong in that chair. i mean, yeah.
01:34:19
Speaker
How pathetic are we? And then him sitting there saying like, well yeah, I'm going to get stuff wrong. I'm not going to, you know, not everything's going to be right. That's your job to figure it out. What the fuck?
01:34:32
Speaker
What the actual fuck? That's where we are. that's that's That's fucking where we are. See, that's why I wrote an article about stupid people. Because a smart person would never do any of this. A smart person surrounds themself.
01:34:46
Speaker
with the experts that they need, a stupid person hires a bunch of 19-year-old fucking yes men. People! Yeah, man. One of which is an out white supremacist. He had to quit, though.
01:34:59
Speaker
once Once people figured out that Elon had a guy who sells white supremacist t-shirts. I thought they rehired him. thought they rehired I wouldn't doubt that. His t-shirts were great, apparently. Yeah.
01:35:10
Speaker
Next up, we'll hire Kanye. Kanye. He's going to defy Kanye to design the uniforms for Doge. It's going to be the breaking fucking news. Everybody's wearing Yeezys.
01:35:21
Speaker
Yeah. So anyways, living in America. I feel good. I don't. I don't. Well, James feels good because he's no longer with us.
01:35:35
Speaker
Yeah. Fucking he rode that white fucking tiger all the way to hell. He felt good because he was on a lot of cocaine. Well, now he's dead. So, you know, of course he feels good. You know, he doesn't have to be alive for this shit.
01:35:51
Speaker
All right, Scott, let's,
Episode Conclusion and Future Content
01:35:52
Speaker
ah let's wrap it up. I think that's about it for this one. All right. We appreciate everybody who joined us this week. We will be back at it again next week. Hopefully have a little bit of news from spring training and the Rockets will be back in action. And i don't know, maybe the Texans have made a cut.
01:36:11
Speaker
made a move, do something, do little dance, make a little love, get down tonight, something from the Houston Texans would be nice. Talk soup tonight. I had some hot soup tonight. It was lovely.
01:36:23
Speaker
We'll see everybody next week on Born to Bayou Sports.