![4.6 Meet the Team: Tango Fae Batelli image](https://media.zencastr.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=640,quality=85/image-files/607d7643867d17005662660e/fd37c656-330e-49fd-8baf-29bc8128264d.jpg)
![](https://media.zencastr.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=640,quality=85/image-files/607d7643867d17005662660e/fd37c656-330e-49fd-8baf-29bc8128264d.jpg)
This is a conversation from our second season that we never actually aired, but we want you to hear it so you can get to know Tango Fae Batelli, one of our co-hosts. Tango is the founder of AutiComm, a peer-to-peer community of autistic folks, which is why we asked her to talk to us. In this conversation, we talk about feeling good about being autistic, the Double Empathy Problem, “not looking autistic,” fawning vs. masking, the different experiences of autistic males and females, and the different flavors of autism.
Feeling good about being autistic
Hyper-empathy
Do Autistic People Feel Empathy: Myths & Facts You Need To Know
Divergent from the norm - hyper or hypo version of the norm
Autistic Stories give us the gestalt of autism
Double Empathy Problem
Double empathy problem - Wikipedia.
Mykola Bilokonsky
How to speak respectfully about autism
How To Talk About Autism Respectfully · Public Neurodiversity Support Center
32 competing thoughts/losing track
Posing for painters
17:00 “you don’t look autistic”
Official diagnosis issues
Brazen
25:49 what comes to mind when you hear someone is autistic
Miss Manners - Miss Manners | Columns | ArcaMax Publishing
Scripts
29:00 clip:Tango: Triple major with one being Theater major with concentration in playwriting
Chronic pain “I’m not dying I’m just autistic”
Compounded trauma and stress
Polyvagal theory - Polyvagal theory - Wikipedia
31:45 Tango’s Theory of autism
Fawning
Processing through the ladder
Taking care of my autistic nervous system
Mistaken thought that it all ends with the diagnosis: stop autisming
Map analogy
Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid – Quote Investigator
Look at how autism is portrayed in film and tv
Different flavors of autism
Prevalence of neurodiversity
Hannah Gadsby: Douglas - Wikipedia
52:20 Introductions
58:00 I found my map of weirdness
The different experiences of autism between male and female
Female autism: boys and girls are socialized differently; little girls play social roles and have scripts - learning the strategy to fawn
Boys are told what not to do: don’t cry, etc.
Buffet of comorbidities
Comorbid Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster
Adhd and autism
ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder - CHADD
Hypermobility disorder
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypermobility_spectrum_disorder
![](https://media.zencastr.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=640,quality=85/image-files/607d7643867d17005662660e/fd37c656-330e-49fd-8baf-29bc8128264d.jpg)
This is a conversation from our second season that we never actually aired, but we want you to hear it so you can get to know Tango Fae Batelli, one of our co-hosts. Tango is the founder of AutiComm, a peer-to-peer community of autistic folks, which is why we asked her to talk to us. In this conversation, we talk about feeling good about being autistic, the Double Empathy Problem, “not looking autistic,” fawning vs. masking, the different experiences of autistic males and females, and the different flavors of autism.
Feeling good about being autistic
Hyper-empathy
Do Autistic People Feel Empathy: Myths & Facts You Need To Know
Divergent from the norm - hyper or hypo version of the norm
Autistic Stories give us the gestalt of autism
Double Empathy Problem
Double empathy problem - Wikipedia.
Mykola Bilokonsky
How to speak respectfully about autism
How To Talk About Autism Respectfully · Public Neurodiversity Support Center
32 competing thoughts/losing track
Posing for painters
17:00 “you don’t look autistic”
Official diagnosis issues
Brazen
25:49 what comes to mind when you hear someone is autistic
Miss Manners - Miss Manners | Columns | ArcaMax Publishing
Scripts
29:00 clip:Tango: Triple major with one being Theater major with concentration in playwriting
Chronic pain “I’m not dying I’m just autistic”
Compounded trauma and stress
Polyvagal theory - Polyvagal theory - Wikipedia
31:45 Tango’s Theory of autism
Fawning
Processing through the ladder
Taking care of my autistic nervous system
Mistaken thought that it all ends with the diagnosis: stop autisming
Map analogy
Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid – Quote Investigator
Look at how autism is portrayed in film and tv
Different flavors of autism
Prevalence of neurodiversity
Hannah Gadsby: Douglas - Wikipedia
52:20 Introductions
58:00 I found my map of weirdness
The different experiences of autism between male and female
Female autism: boys and girls are socialized differently; little girls play social roles and have scripts - learning the strategy to fawn
Boys are told what not to do: don’t cry, etc.
Buffet of comorbidities
Comorbid Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster
Adhd and autism
ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder - CHADD
Hypermobility disorder
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypermobility_spectrum_disorder