Why Men Seek Male Approval
In this special listener-requested episode of Clear Minds In Color, mental-health coach Robert Saint Michael explores the psychology behind homosociality — the way men form identity and belonging through the approval of other men — and how this behavior shapes emotional connection, power, and intimacy.
Originally inspired by a viral clip from beauty influencer Shamsi Rashid (@shamsiiito), this conversation takes a deeper look at how social dominance theory, gender roles, and cultural conditioning influence the way men navigate vulnerability and validation.
We unpack what these theories get right — and what they miss — about modern masculinity.
From the “protector” role in heterosexual relationships to the myth that male closeness threatens sexuality, this episode challenges stereotypes and explores how healthy brotherhood can be a space for care, empathy, and identity-building.
Key themes:
The difference between homosociality and homosexuality
How social dominance theory shapes belonging and approval
The emotional cost of the “protector” role in relationships
Gender role conflict and the struggle to be seen
New research showing men are building vulnerability into masculinity
Hosted by: Robert Saint Michael
Presented by: Clear Minds In Color — evidence-based strategies for emotional wellness and modern mental health.
Learn more: clearmindsincolor.com
Referenced in This Episode
Shamsi Rashid — Instagram: @shamsiiito
Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick (1985) – Between Men: English Literature and Male Homosocial Desire
Gayle Rubin (1975) – The Traffic in Women: Notes on the Political Economy of Sex
Sidanius & Pratto (1999) – Social Dominance: An Intergroup Theory of Social Hierarchy and Oppression
Michael Flood (2008) – Men, Sex, and Homosociality: How Bonds Between Men Shape Their Sexual Relations with Women
Jeff Hearn (2012) – Men, Masculinities and Gender Relations
Mahalik, Burns, & Syzdek (2007) – Masculinity and Perceived Normative Health Behaviors in Men
Frederick, Fessler, & Haselton (2016) – Do Men Suppress Vulnerability in Romantic Relationships?
O’Neil, Good, & Holmes (1995) – Gender Role Conflict Theory
Simon & Nath (2004) – Gender and Emotion in the United States
Levant, Wimer, & Williams (2011) – Masculinity Constructs and Relationship Quality in Men
Eric Anderson (2009) – Inclusive Masculinity: The Changing Nature of Masculinities
bell hooks (2004) – The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love
Raewyn Connell (2015) – Masculinities (2nd Ed.)
Simon Baron-Cohen (2011) – The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty
Christopher Boehm (1999) – Hierarchy in the Forest: The Evolution of Egalitarian Behavior
