Transcript
Speaker: I decided if i if if somebody picks up the phone, I'm going to get help. For once in my life, I'm just going to go and get help. If i have to leave a message, I'm walking off into the forest. So the phone rang once, and a nurse picked up the phone.
Speaker: And...
Speaker: Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the Glam Reaper podcast. I'm your host Jennifer Muldaney aka the Glam Reaper and on today's episode I have a dear old friend of mine. I don't say old, I mean in time, Michael from Funeral Professional Peer Support. So I think this going a very interesting conversation. I know he has some some good stories to tell us and yeah I'm looking forward to diving in. So Michael welcome to the podcast. Well, good afternoon. How are you?
Speaker: Good. I am good. I'm good. What's been going on? and Tell everyone, ah most people on here know I've talked about Funeral Professional Peer Sport a couple of times. And and then if they've met me in person, I've definitely mentioned it. But um do you want to tell everyone a little bit about what that is to get us started?
Speaker: Certainly. so about actually 10 years ago, we started Funeral Professional Peer Support. It started here in in Ottawa, Ontario, where I live. ah Started as just kind of a local peer support group for people in the funeral service industry. And With the response from Funeral Homes in Canada, ah we realized very quickly that we needed to change our name um as we were starting to get requests for peer support groups across the country and changed it to from Ottawa Funeral Peer Support to Canada Funeral Peer Support. And then as things happened, then folks in the U.S. heard about us and inquired. and And then we changed it to what it is now, Funeral Professional Peer Support. So I basically call it a mental wellness organization for funeral professionals, whether licensed or not.
Speaker: Yeah, very good. i like it. And i am a part of it, along with lots of other people. So you have built quite a network. You are not just in america North America.
Speaker: You are global and growing. Yeah, we, yeah, yeah are we, and that, and that happened because we were having these educational webinars and we noticed that we had two folks from Kenya who, who would go on our educational webinars. And then I did a little math and figured out what time it was in Kenya when we were doing this educational webinars and found out it was three o'clock in the morning.
Speaker: there So contacted one of the young ladies, Petit, and we we actually started, i think that's about six years now, in in Kenya. So we have a peer support group in Kenya that is quite is going quite strong now.
Speaker: Yeah, it's amazing. And it just goes, you know, it's it shouldn't have to be said, but we'll say is that mental health applies to everybody. You know, it doesn't matter where in the world you are or what age or anything like that, because you you you cover all different cultures, countries and age groups in in the peer support.
Speaker: You know, and that's that's really interesting because when I first ah realized that i was I was struggling with my own mental health issues, you think you're the only one.
Speaker: And then when you start talking to people, ah you realize you're not. And, you know, the the same things, same thing I was going through, others were going through.
Speaker: And not only ah people around me, but people around the world. Yeah, absolutely. And just on that, do you want to, if you're comfortable, touch on a little bit of your story? and and Yeah, um I certainly don't mind talking about it. I've always kind of had ah mental health issues, I guess, as ah as a child. i I was sexually abused as a child. And when you and I've heard different people that I truly respect talk about the the trauma that happens from that. And when you finally break three ah ah free of that, what you do is you. um
Speaker: You lock that trauma in a box or in a safe, and then you protect that safe with, ah you know, with substance abuse and that sort of thing to kind of hide hide the problems you were having. And that's certainly something that I did.
Speaker: And I just went about my life and started to work in the funeral profession. And um I realized that probably when I and I, you know, started, i guess, when I was in my late twenty s when I became just around 50 or 52, I um i started to have really bad anxiety attacks. ah I so so bad that I would pass out.
Speaker: um I wasn't doing very well at all. um spent most Spent most of my time in my room when I wasn't home and then when I wasn't at home I wanted to be at home. And it all kind came to Came to fact about 10 years ago on January 7th, I decided that that was that was going to be the day.
Speaker: And I planned it out even before Christmas, you know, probably about three weeks before Christmas. I had planned it all out. i yeah I had a location. I knew how and I yeah made i did things to, you know, protect my family financially.
Speaker: And January 7th, 10 years ago, I woke up like a normally do, guess my wife goodbye, drove my son to school and then went off to a park and had my last cigarette and opened the car door and was kind of ready to go off into the into the forest. And I couldn't get out of my car.
Speaker: And the more I tried, the more I just couldn't get up. It was, you know, and I've said this before, it was, it was, you know, was kind of like somebody kind of, you know, had their, had their arms kind of wrapped around me and I could almost hear this voice in my head saying, you know, I've, I've got you, it's going to be okay. um Make a call.
Speaker: And, you know, I sat there for a little while and and, you know, and I've often, you know, said those words to people, you know, like, hey, if you're struggling, give me a call anytime at all. So I really wasn't taking at the advice that i gave other people. So I decided that um I would make a call. and the person And the person I reached out to was my doctor.
Speaker: And I phoned my doctor's office. And I realized through therapy that I chose my doctor because I knew he wasn't going answer the phone. And i so I phoned. And I i i decided if i if if somebody picks up the phone, I'm going to get help. For once in of my life, I'm just going to go and get help.
Speaker: And if have to leave a message, I'm walking off into the forest. So the phone rang once, and a nurse picked up the phone. And i was, i I didn't say anything because when do you ever call your doctor and they ever pick up the phone, right? You're always having to leave a message.
Speaker: I told her I was struggling and and I can hear it going through her book. And she said, well, gee, you know, the doctor doesn't have any appointments. This was January 7th, didn't have any appointments till like first March. And then she said, well, I have to ask you this question. Unfortunately, are you suicidal?
Speaker: And I said, well, I have the rope i have a rope in the trunk of my car. And she put me on hold. And about two minutes later, my doctor picked up. And he said, where are you? let's say Yeah, I know. i don' like I'm like, oh, God. Just just one moment, please. Yeah, just to hang on. you know So my doctor picked up the phone and he said, dot where are you? And I told him where I was.
Speaker: He said, you know, do you need me to call an ambulance? ah Can you drive on your own? I said, no, I'm fine. And he said, OK, I want you to come to my office. He said, where are you again? And I told him, he said, OK, I know where that is. That's about a five minute drive. If you're not here in five minutes, I'm I'm calling the police.
Speaker: So ah went in he sent me off. We talked for about an hour, then he sent me off to do some tests. And I was diagnosed with ah severe depression and PTSD.
Speaker: And I started to go to, I started when I finally found a therapist, because what happens is, um You know, you you ah try try and get an appointment with somebody and they so and they say, well, we're only looking after first responders right now. We're only looking after police and fire and and and military. And hi I would say to them, I would tell them what I did. And my thought was like, I have PTSD. Does it really matter how I got it?
Speaker: Like, yeah, that's one major, major thing wrong with, with mental health support is, you know, we don't tell people going for cancer treatment. um Well, we, we only look after smokers.
Speaker: You know, so if you have secondhand smoke, you know, you're going to have to wait for chemo. We don't do that for cancer. Why do we do that for mental health issues? Yeah. So long story short, i yeah ah well went to my therapist and the first appointment I can remember.
Speaker: i always thought i'm I was going there for my job, right? um that's where i thought my problems were my depression was and you know then she says okay you know we're going to talk about your job uh in a in a few point in this but we really want to talk about you know, your life, you know, we really want to talk about your childhood. And I thought, oh, for God's sake, are we, you know, like, are we every going into my childhood? for Like, no, that's not why I'm here.
Speaker: Anyway, i never talked to anybody about the sexual abuse ever. And one appointment, she got it out of me. And it was it was i was i was angry about something in a newspaper.
Speaker: ah it's It it's said in a newspaper, this one priest within the Catholic diocese here in Ottawa had many victims, and he did time in jail.
Speaker: He died through suicide. And there was an article in the paper about the fact that the Catholic Church here in Ottawa as paid out over six million dollars and in restitution to his victims. And I read that and it was my abuser and and I was angry and I was angry because all that money could have gone somewhere else. So.
Speaker: you know, to help homeless or, you know, build homes or that sort of thing. So anyway, I go into my appointment. She said, you're, ah you're agitated. You're upset. What's wrong? I said, no, no, I'm fine. and She said, no, there's something going on. What's, who what's wrong? And I said, well, you know, did you read that thing in the paper about that priest that,
Speaker: You know, that, you know, he abused all those kids and all that money went to went to the victims, which I think is great. But, you know, that money could have been used somewhere else. And and she said, yeah.
Speaker: And I said, well, doesn't that upset you? And she said, well, doesn't upset you? And I said, yeah. And she said, well, why? And I gave her the same answer. She said, no, that's not it. And I kind of went, you yeah, it is. So she said, no, you you tell me what it is.
Speaker: So I just said, well, I like I just freaking told you because all the money that they've given. She said, no, that's that's still not it. She says, i want you for once in your life to tell me the truth.
Speaker: And I sat there for the longest time and I said for the very first time in my life to anybody, I was abused as a child. Yeah. And it was silence in the room. And, and, and she said, uh, say that again.
Speaker: And I said, I was sexually abused as a child. And then it was silence again. And she said, okay, who have you told that story to? And I said, no one. And she said, so like, I'm the first person. And I said, yeah.
Speaker: So we sat and talked about it and that's really where my healing started. And then we went into my job. It's been, it's been, it's been a long road and it's been happy and upsetting and sad road, but it's been a good road.
Speaker: Yeah. And this is at what age this is? The abuse? at Well, yeah. Or me sane. Oh, okay. Oath, I guess. you know Yeah. Yeah. So, I'm, what am I? Well, I'll be 62 this year. So, I was 53, I think.
Speaker: Okay. Yeah. 53, 54. abuse was when you were not a child. Yeah. When I was 12. Yeah. That's a long time to be harboring harboring that.
Speaker: Yeah. And, and, and you know what? I, I, I hit it really well. Yeah. And again, hit it with alcohol and, and just really kind of bad behavior.
Speaker: You know, I could never keep a job, never thought I was really kind of good enough. I had no, um and, and I, and I, even sometimes even now I still struggle with self-confidence, but like I had no confidence in myself.
Speaker: And just, yeah, just really not not doing very well. I was an awful husband and father and and friend and employee until I reached out, until I got the help I needed.
Speaker: And at 52 years of age, this was this was your first attempt at suicide and this was when you got help. Well, no. Well, no, it wasn't the first attempt. The first the first attempt was i had I had decided that I was going to do it one day. And I figured, well, if I'm going to do this, then I'm really going to have to get really drunk. And I ended up getting so drunk, I passed out and then forgot to kill myself that day.
Speaker: But it's you know I knew it was the alcohol that day that saved my life. Right, right. And it's also, oh I mean, both situations. It's showing very clearly how the suicidal tendency or the decision really is matter of moments. How, you know, when you woke up with a hangover, I'm sure after the first time, and yeah you know, you didn't have it as you know, not that you didn't have it. I mean, you did attempt again, but that That the moment to pass, like it's not like you came to immediately and immediately went to, you know, to try a again.
Speaker: And long, can I ask, were you in funeral service before? The attempt. Oh, um I was well over 25 years, probably.
Speaker: Okay. Okay. And can I ask, you know, what part of funeral service or what drew you to funeral service? What drew you to this kind of cap? Well, like, yeah, well, like a lot of people, this wasn't my first choice.
Speaker: ah This was actually my second choice. I was i was in hotels ah doing doing pretty well. and worked for a couple of large major changes chains. And then I i decided to to make a change into funeral service, which was always kind of my my second choice, I guess, in high school. But I really found that when I made the move, I found lay people.
Speaker: You know, I i i really, ah really connected with them. It was it was it was a real family and and and a family of of people that cared for each other.
Speaker: And maybe i was I was certainly probably looking for that because I felt kind of so alone. yeah You know, i realized ah I realized that, you know, after you know speaking to a few of them and becoming friends, that, you know, they were kind of as damaged as I was.
Speaker: The job of of ah ah looking after people, which really drew me to this. You know, since ah but since we've started this and I've heard a lot of people talk, and unfortunately I can't remember the gentleman's name, but it it really kind of s stopped me in my tracks when I heard this, that he said a high majority of people And he he called them first responder positions, but I call them responder positions because that includes funeral service.
Speaker: A high majority of those people that go into those positions have had childhood trauma or trauma at a young age. that's so true you know and that's something that i've uh that i've actually seen in our in our profession as you kind of peel the onion a bit and and uh you know you hear about people's issues that they're having a lot of it has to do with with childhood trauma that yeah uh they've kept yeah
Speaker: Well, i am and I'm not sure whether it was on camera, um but I was having a discussion and with this or about this with Dwight. I'm pretty sure it was with Dwight. um And I'm not sure if we caught caught it on camera because I often talk off camera to all my guests as we do.
Speaker: The conversation never ends. Otherwise, these episodes will be hours long. We were actually referencing that where, you know, there is this idea that because often, you know, people will say and that I know they have said it to me like, oh, you're too bubbly to be in this business or you're too warm or you're too loving or you're too this, you know, like as if everybody in this business is is cold. And and and that's the opposite of what I see and I witness. Is there this idea and I, you know, not enough research has been done on the funeral profession, never mind our mental health, but that there is a darkness in all of us that is drawn to this dark corner of life because it really is. It's it's the end of life. I mean, life is cyclical and, you know, and ah what dies, you know, is reborn in whatever religion or faith or whatever you believe, you know, whether it's our but and nature, has science has proven that, but that there is a darkness yeah within us all. And that has maybe drawn us to it. But I know know for me sitting here, you know, I would say, no, I'm totally fine. I had a fine childhood. My parents are amazing and, you know, all of that sort of stuff. But I think if I really sat with it and really delved in, um
Speaker: There is. There's a certain darkness that draws you to other people in the profession and this profession. fair It's very interesting interesting. I mean, I really wish there was more research on the the director's brain. um...
Speaker: Yeah, like, I mean, I personally am fascinated with the human brain and what makes each of us tick and and how different we all are and and, you know, how dark moments drive us to help others, which is what you you have done. I mean, you've in some ways come full circle like you suffered.
Speaker: as a child, which, you know, took you through your journey, which, you know, brought you to the forest that day, which now 10 years later, you've got funeral professional peer support where you're helping others and hoping to reach them in their darkest, in their darkest moments. Can I ask you probably a difficult question, Michael, but, um and, you know, feel for always feel free to to just not respectfully not answer. Obviously, have you contemplated anything since that time of the forest?
Speaker: No, no, not, not to that extreme. I mean, you know, you, you have down days like every, everyone else. um yeah I now have the tools to, to, to deal with, with days where, you know, it's, it's pretty tough sometimes to get out of bed. I i rely an awful lot on meditation, on hypnosis, um,
Speaker: um I find that it really, really grounds me and helps me. I sometimes use hypnosis or hypnosis in the middle of the day when I'm working because I find that it it really grounds me. It it it really helps me.
Speaker: I still occasionally will get an anxiety attack, not as serious as before because, i'm as you can tell, I'm heavily medicated. don't know.
Speaker: And that's the other thing, too. i'm not I'm not afraid to tell people. I'm on medication. You know, which, which, which keeps me calm, which keeps me level. And I, you know, I certainly don't, I certainly don't have ah those, those feelings anymore.
Speaker: i do find, you know, when you, you know, get a, and I'm, I'm kind of hypersensitive to, to a lot of, let's say death calls we get, you know, where, you know, somebody is, you know, driven into a rock and,
Speaker: Or, you know, driven into a bridge and they call it an accident. Yeah. i just Just because of my nature, i kind of wonder sometimes, gee, is that really an accident?
Speaker: Yeah. Because that's that's definitely something i've I've thought about doing in the past. Wow. Yeah. You know. Yeah. i've had I mean, I've had conversations.
Speaker: I think my parents actually really. I mean, we we don't have from Ireland where I'm from. We don't have as many main roads as as here in the US. s I feel like at locally roads here in the US are like our huge motorways. We call them back on. That's true. Yeah.
Speaker: You know, i like with four lanes of whatever. But I have often I've personally been in three car accidents myself. And I've witnessed I witnessed one a horrific one back when I was a child. I was only 12. And it was a very interesting scenario. But it's a horrific. Yeah, very interesting scenario that I do wonder has impacted me at, you know, later stage. But it's I have often wondered, like people driving cars that end up in these accidents that like have drive, driven, driven, driven, driven into other cars or into objects. You know, is it suicide? Is it a heart attack? You know, even people driving planes things like that, you know, piloting planes. you know, like how much research, how much of autopsies are done where it's, you know, it's shown that at the last minute, because when you think about it, you know, a heart attack can happen at any time. It's, you know, it's not to say. And um and also just there's that moment that can flash, flash before you to murder people, to drive your car through a load of cyclists or pedestrians. And things you know people have these dark thoughts and and will act on them. And then all of a sudden it's fatal. And it might have only been flash second of a dark thought. But now all of a sudden it's a, you know, it's a done deal. yeah Like what I witnessed when I was a child was just kind of changed the trajectory, I guess, of how I think of things.
Speaker: And how when I was in an accident, what happened? um It was and we were on our way to school and this man had thrown himself under an like a huge truck, a huge lorry. We call an articulated truck, but like, you know, one of those huge big trucks that are like car driving whatever cargo and. and food stuff, not a truck truck, but like a big lorry. And so this this guy had cycled alongside of this and he'd thrown himself under and died.
Speaker: And I remember like traumatized, you know, seeing parts of him all over the road and ah and then seeing the driver's, you know, distraught face and everything and thinking, oh, my God, you know, and he killed this cyclist, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker: Come to learn, you know, and I spent the whole day sort of traumatized by that. But then come to learn that that man had died by suicide. He'd actually thrown himself under the truck and he had murdered his wife and his daughter in bed that morning before he'd done this. you know, the because the immediate reaction was to point the finger at the driver and, you know, oh, my God, the poor cyclist. Right. You know, and that's all human behavior. reaction whereas it was actually completely the opposite and I thought to myself that driver is traumatized for life he probably never truck again and that could have been his livelihood and you know might have turned to drink drugs and maybe even suicide who knows right I mean I hope yeah
Speaker: but just very interesting because it just flipped it on its head for me. um And, you know, from that day and then the accidents I was in, et cetera, you know, we don't know what's going on in somebody's brain. We don't know why people make decisions the way they do We don't know. yeah the The accidents we see happen are the accidents and and what's behind it. Yeah.
Speaker: just yeah just so interesting and I think when you work in this business you see so much trauma and you see so much and it depending on what your own trauma is and what you have experienced in life I think can flavour yeah how you how you deal with families and Yeah. And, and, you know, you, you talk about what we experienced, what we see, what the, the trauma we see and, and, and you know, one thing that the other responder groups, the police and fire paramedics have, have done really well is, you know, they've informed the general public, Hey, you know what? This is what we're dealing with.
Speaker: You know, these are the scenes we go into. This is the trauma that we're dealing with. We as an industry have never done that. when When I've gone on you know these type of shows and and mainstream media interviews, um you know and i and I tell the interviewer what we do,
Speaker: you know what we do You know, like like a lot of the general public is under the impression that, you know, if you know, if there's a murder or a car accident or, you know, ah a deceased is is found somewhere.
Speaker: ah It's the paramedics. It's the police that do that. You know, you watch CSI, whatever. And it's the police. Right. That that, you know, take the deceased away when people don't realize it's us.
Speaker: Yeah. you know, it's people in the funeral industry. And especially if you work in a small town, you know, you'll you'll respond to a murder scene or a suicide or a car accident.
Speaker: And um the likelihood of that family choosing your funeral home and in that small town. is probably probably about 90 percent so the difference with us and the other responders is that they go in they look after the scene they look after the deceased do what they need to do and then they go away we go into that scene look after the deceased um and then if your funeral home let's say gets the call from the family then you get that body back
Speaker: Now, you're not only dealing with that deceased, but you're also dealing with a spouse, children, parents, uncles, aunts, friends. So you're reliving that all over again.
Speaker: Yeah. you know The general public's not aware of that. And and and we don't kind of make that known. Well, and one other thing that I think is hugely important and overlooked that I know I learned and was flabbergasted when it was was said to me and that I thought, holy crap, I never even thought that somebody had to deal with that or that that was a thing is, as you just said, is is is a car car accident. Absolutely. And stuff like that. But it's also things as huge as 9-11.
Speaker: Yeah. you know Oh, totally. That had to go and they they they had parts of people. Yeah. lotss of people and they had to you know there was they were part of helping find the families and identifying them and you know that they they went to pick up these remains um and but also the evil people of the world like the person who i who sexually abused you I mean if your funeral home had gotten called to take care of his body once he left to see that's further trauma for you oh in inhale totally totally
Speaker: School shooters. You know, there was there was just recently about um or it's a documentary, I think, that's just been released about being the parent of a murderer. um But also it's the same thing applies for a funeral home. The funeral home, especially if it's a local funeral home in a community, a small community, they might be taking care of four out of the 10 deceased children from a school shooting. But all of a sudden now they're the shooter.
Speaker: I mean, that is a whole other level of professionalism, of trauma, of, you know, they talk about it because because the same thing happens in a hospital. You know, if you've got the school shooter has gotten wounded for whatever reason and now he's been brought in. And, you know, we again, we see this on shows and series that show us this, you know, we'll just let him die. You know, they're having this whole argument, ethical argument. is Yeah.
Speaker: Obviously, it's dramatized and stuff, but the same thing, but you know, should we save his life? Should we let him die? Whatever. and But the same thing applies to the funeral business, like um ah Jeffrey Epstein.
Speaker: You know, Campbell's was named in the Epstein files because Campbell's took care of the body. Right. Like, That has to impact. You know, it's funny. yeah You know, it's funny you mentioned that because we here here in Ottawa many years ago, we had a mass shooting.
Speaker: Six people died at ah at a bus company and ah the shooter went in there one day and the funeral home that I was working for, it was an SCI firm.
Speaker: um We looked after the shooter. and and And, you know, everybody kind of in the city, it was it was kind of a negative feeling, obviously, towards the shooter.
Speaker: and And I have to admit, I probably had that too until I met his mother, until I met his family, yeah and until I heard his story. I mean, he he he was a guy that he stuttered really bad.
Speaker: um He was bullied at work. lost his cool. then he lost his job and he went off to Vegas and I guess gambled his money away and, and drove back to Ottawa. Well, that drive from Vegas thought like, and and I, and I, I did this in a speech where I used the timeline.
Speaker: I said, um you know, that drive from from Las Vegas to Ottawa is a pretty long drive, and there's a lot of opportunity to think how the world has done you wrong, right?
Speaker: So he arrives home. Where does he go? He goes to mom and dad's house. mom and dad aren't home because i think it was in Iran the Easter weekend. They were away for Easter.
Speaker: And so mom and dad aren't home. That's the first person he goes to see is his parents. And he grabs his gun, goes into work. um There's this mass shooting.
Speaker: And the grief on that mother's face when, you know, and and we even heard her say, if only i was at home, yeah I could have stopped him.
Speaker: And that woman, that poor woman probably had to, well, she did, lived with that for the rest of her life. But my whole attitude changed. When I met her, when I heard her talk, when I saw the grief on her face, you know, of that, you know, to realize that whatever this man did, obviously we don't condone it.
Speaker: There is a story behind it. You know, the end of the day, this man, like other shooters, have mums and dads. kids or a child, somebody. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: And so that totally changed ah the way the way i I dealt with that. And I felt that so much so that we had a a terrorist attack here in Ottawa and the funeral home I was working out. We were watching it on the news and the funeral director was a young student. She says, what are we going to do?
Speaker: you know, if if we get the call for the shooter because he was killed by the police. And I said, I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to we're going to treat that man with the same respect we were.
Speaker: We give all those deceased in our prep room because at the end of the day, that person was loved by somebody. Yeah. Yeah. And even even that in and of itself, though, Michael,
Speaker: is such a, i don't want to say a traumatic thing, but it is such a weight to, to carry, you know, it's, yeah. It's compassion 100%, but it is also, you know, it is also a so a secret maybe, you know, it might not be something that you announce. um You know, I mean, i know Campbell's didn't advertise that they had that they had Jeffrey Epstein when when they had him. yeah and when But, you know, then the files came out and, you know, it's open for everything and everyone to see. So, you know, if you're the funeral director who took care of that, you know, do you you know do you hold is is there and people will attach things. And that's the thing. There's a lot of scary people in the world who do form kind of
Speaker: attachments to, oh, well, you took care of such and such. um I mean, I remember Bin Laden, I think god he got his final burial was out in the middle of some the ocean somewhere and because they were afraid what people would do and supporters would do, you know, if he had a burial spot. oh Fascinating to have to think of all these things. But again, back to all of this trauma and all of this dark corner of the universe is held by funeral professionals who have to take care of themselves while taking care of others. And so many of them right now are going through burnout. I, you know, i've I'm going on my travels to Europe next month, but, you know, I've witnessed it my own country in Ireland. I'm witnessing it here in the US. And I think something like professional peer support that you've built through your own trauma is massively helpful. I just wish more people knew about it. wish more people would participate. and But there is that burden of I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to tell anyone.
Speaker: Yeah. And a lot of that is is is kind of with this generation, let's say, a funeral director. i I call them my generation, probably the generation that is close to retirement than really starter.
Speaker: Because I find an awful lot of the students and we have but actually we have a peer support meeting tonight for students, people entering their careers. Mental wellness is so important when they go looking for a job.
Speaker: Yeah. You know, it's you know, we we as an organization, just very quickly, we we're we you know, you talked about doing doing research on the brain of a female director. That's something that kind of is in the in the works a little bit with with us, with the with schools in the states or.
Speaker: You know, we need to do that research as we've done research on the brain of a police officer, or the brain of, you know, um athletes, you know, you know, fight, fight, find out, first of all, why we're in this industry.
Speaker: um What what is is happening to us in this industry? You know, our ay one one area which I'm really excited about that. we don't have enough ah professional therapists who just ah that deal with funeral service. And that's, that's a big issue when you're looking for a professional therapist that a lot of them don't have a background in funeral service, don't understand funeral service. You know, the, the answer you get from him some therapists is, well, why don't you quit your job? Well, that that's, that's really great in a great job market, but if the job market's not that good, you can't quit
Speaker: so So now what we we're doing, we you know we have a program that's put together by Dwight Thompson. You you know you mentioned him. It's last responder training, which is going to be September 30th.
Speaker: it's ah It's a one-day course for mental health professionals to to get basically certified in in in helping people in our profession. And what we want to do is make sure...
Speaker: You know, we're going to start here in Canada, but, you know, make sure that there's a qualified therapist in every province in Canada and hopefully soon in every state in the United States that we can call upon when people call upon us, which they do.
Speaker: you know, through our help line, our 24 hour helpline that we have, you know, we have our regular peer support meeting. That's the third Tuesday third tuesday of every month.
Speaker: And of course we have our lifting the burden educational webinar that's coming up in October, you know, so, but there's, you know, still more, more to be done, you know, because in this industry, we a lot like the other responder professions, um you know, we're, we're almost taught to, you know, deal with what we're dealing with, but not only deal with it, thrive in it.
Speaker: Yeah. you know You know, and, and, and, you know, if you're not, thriv you know, if you're not thriving, you know, then, then you're considered a jerk. Yeah.
Speaker: You know, and there's something wrong with you as opposed to the system. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, so we're pretty excited about our future. I think I think in in time, people will know more about us.
Speaker: ah You know, we're we're we're slowly kind of making inroads, you know, and I know anything any change that has ever come to this world is not come automatically. Right.
Speaker: It takes a long time. does take a long time it does take a long time well on that note thank you so much for joining us Michael this has been a wonderful episode I would ask everybody to check out Funeral Professional Peer Support and we're going to leave all the links and everything for everyone and check out the events the peer support meetings that are happening and everything's on the website and and our podcast Yes, absolutely. You also have a rival. No, I'm joking. You have a podcast. But yeah, check out all of the resources and just support. Show up and, you know, whether you're suffering with your mental health or not. I just think it's a great, it's a great, it's a great group.
Speaker: So thank you for joining us Thank you.
