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003 - It's Called Living In A Society
98 Plays22 days ago
TONIGHT'S SET LIST:
- Three Guys Who Are Still Nice With It
- The Ballad of Bad Goaltending
- Rumours
- The Heated Rivalry Bump
OUTRO: On View by Myhill ( https://myhill.bandcamp.com/track/on-view )
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Special of the Evening
00:00:08
Speaker
Good evening and welcome back to the Senegoth Lounge. I'm Luke and I'm behind the bar all by myself tonight. Our drink special this evening is... i just straight whiskey.
00:00:24
Speaker
Just not even in a glass, just from the bottle. You and I just hand the bottle back and forth for a while. um I got some free San Pellegrinos here for our sober patrons.
00:00:37
Speaker
That's the sort of night it is, folks. It's the sort of ah last couple of weeks it's been.
Ottawa Senators' Struggles and Playoff Hopes
00:00:43
Speaker
As I record this, the Ottawa Senators' season is collapsing.
00:00:49
Speaker
The Sens have failed to get points in 13 their last 23 games.
00:00:56
Speaker
which, you know, I would describe as not what you want. There's, uh, imagine me putting the biggest air quotes in human history around this. Only seven points and six teams between them at a wildcard spot.
00:01:13
Speaker
And i don't think that's an insurmountable barrier on paper. But ah the Sens have officially used up all their runway.
00:01:24
Speaker
And basically they need to put together a huge winning streak and start playing like, don't know, 600 hockey for the rest of the season if they want to see the playoffs this year.
00:01:38
Speaker
And they don't look like they're going to be able to do that. So obviously there's a lot to cover in terms of what's gone wrong, both on and off the ice. But at the very least, I'm going to start with what's going well.
Player Highlights: Tim Stutzle and Jordan Spence
00:01:57
Speaker
And I'd like to announce that the winner of the Synagoth Lounge, C. Montgomery Burns, I told him to do that award, is Tim Stutzle. Because in our last episode you might remember I said I'd like to see a more night in night out performance from him and then he went and put up a 13 game point streak.
00:02:16
Speaker
So ah yeah, thanks to me. I told him to do that and This guy is really putting it all together. ah He seems to have found another level to his game and He's not even going to turn 24 until later this week You can only be so depressed about the Ottawa Senators when you've got Tim Stutzler on the team, playing like he's playing right now.
00:02:41
Speaker
and one of the most impressive things i've noticed about tim is how he seems to be almost immune to whatever other bullshit is happening up and down the lineup you know he's being moved around on the lines quite a bit and still getting it done offensively even if his he doesn't gel with his partners five on five he still finds a way to chip in a point on the power play and you know i say he's immune to whatever bullshit is happening but like and i say almost because he did fight a guy in colorado But as Eugene Melnick once said, I love the passion.
00:03:15
Speaker
No one is going to mistake Timmy for a soft Euro who doesn't want to compete. ah Compete is his middle name, actually. as His middle names are probably something like Kyle Friedrich, Conrad Adenauer, but I'm pretty sure one of those means compete.
00:03:32
Speaker
um Here's another guy I'm not pissed off with. Jordan Spence. I've seen enough. J. Spenny is a capital P player. He is not good for a short guy. He's not at it he's not good for a third pairing guy.
00:03:50
Speaker
He's just flat out good. He's out there moving the rock like Fred Flintstone in his prime, and i do realize that he's getting that chinchilla soft offensive deployment, and Harvis Green appears to think that he's about as defensively reliable as the nation of Belgium.
00:04:09
Speaker
But you can't help but love this guy's offensive instincts. You can tell that he's got vision, he's got patience that only a handful of other players on the team have.
00:04:21
Speaker
And now that he's playing with his full confidence, he's really bringing something to the Senators that they desperately need, especially down the lineup. And if I can talk to you personally for a minute, Jordan Spence, um I love how you're holding down that shit in the offensive zone. And as a fellow five foot something guy who was born in Australia, you make me feel very represented in the NHL right now.
00:04:46
Speaker
Thank you for proving that people who had weird childhoods can also become valuable NHL players. And just because I don't know how many more times I'm going to get to talk about this guy in the context of the Ottawa Senators, Cloud Giroux, aka the Claude Father, aka Claude the Bod.
00:05:09
Speaker
What a fucking stud.
Claude Giroux's Reliability
00:05:13
Speaker
Giroud's played in every single one of Ottawa's 44 games this season, and he's only been a minus in 10 of them.
00:05:22
Speaker
Like, I believe it was Archimedes who said, give me enough Claude Girouds and a place to stand and I will win the fucking cup. He chips in on the power play, he kills penalties, he's the picture of consistency.
00:05:37
Speaker
I looked up consistency in the dictionary and there was a picture of Claude Giroux there. And I bet it's still going to be there when I check again tomorrow. There are a lot of guys I would let leave the Ottawa Senators before I let Claude Giroux go at this point.
00:05:51
Speaker
A lot of guys. A lot of guys. Not all of the guys. Don't get it twisted. Not all the guys. Crucially, not all the guys. But a lot of guys. More than one or two of the guys for sure.
00:06:05
Speaker
So there are there are three guys who ah I just can't find it within my heart to be mad at. um Maybe you have some other guys you're thinking of right now. And you know what, if that's the case, I'm sure that's valid.
00:06:23
Speaker
Let's just keep on thinking about those guys because ah we need to find happiness somewhere. And there's not much to be had thinking about the team as a whole.
00:06:36
Speaker
Because I'll tell you the last time I was happy about the Sens.
Recurring Losing Streaks and Goaltending Issues
00:06:40
Speaker
And it was New Year's Day. I was at Pearson Airport waiting to fly back to the Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart recording studio in my secret Austrian bunker. And on New Year's Day, the Sens came back from two goals down to beat the Washington Capitals 4-3.
00:06:59
Speaker
And at the time, I thought that was the W that was going to mark the turnaround for the Sens season.
00:07:08
Speaker
And if there's one thing I hate about this year's Sens team, and to be fair, there's more than one thing. One thing that I hate is that they seem to be repeating the tendency of the teams coached by DJ Musab Al-Sarqawi Smith to produce 10 to 20 false dons per season.
00:07:34
Speaker
Where you think, oh, this is the game that's going to turn around the season, and then they just go out and lose the next four games in a row. Absolutely infuriating. Now they're on four-game losing streak. They've had three losing streaks this year of...
00:07:54
Speaker
ah three games or longer, streaks where they fail to record a single point, one of the losses being a hilarious blowout against Colorado, the circumstances of which, of course, I'll be talking about shortly.
00:08:07
Speaker
And while I am a patient man, and some would even say a man of infinite patience, one thing that is not, in fact, infinite is the fucking NHL season.
00:08:20
Speaker
And for weeks, ah maybe even months now, I have been comforting myself and others with the righteous knowledge that the Sens are actually secretly good and all they need is a few saves.
00:08:36
Speaker
Well, the time for saves is now. And no one on the team or near the team appears to be capable of delivering them.
00:08:47
Speaker
and here's the crazy part i have been running the numbers on how bad the sen's goaltending has been this year you have no idea how bad it's been you can't imagine like i know everyone kind of cognitively knows that the sense have had bad goaltending You don't even know how bad it is until you start putting numbers onto it.
00:09:18
Speaker
League worst goaltending at 5v5. ah League worst. Like not twenty nine League worst. Also league worst goaltending on the PK.
00:09:32
Speaker
Again, not not like bottom 10 in the league. Just the straight up will last in the league. So by far the worst all situations goaltending in the league.
00:09:46
Speaker
By far. Again, not not even close. You know how weird it is that to for a team to have terrible 5v5 and terrible penalty killing save percentage?
00:10:00
Speaker
Like, I know the meme is and has been for a while that, you know, ah the Ottawa would be good if they just got league average goaltending. Dog, if we got league average goaltending, we would be Tampa Bay.
00:10:14
Speaker
Like, forget good. Like, we'd be challenging for the lead in the division right now with league average goaltending. Can you imagine, like, if we got Minnesota's goaltending, we would be Colorado.
00:10:29
Speaker
I'm dead serious. I am not exaggerating. You can run the numbers on this. If we had Minnesota's goaltending performance with the number of goals above expected Minnesota's goaltenders have saved, if we got that, we would be fucking Colorado.
00:10:46
Speaker
I would be eating caviar in Club Bell right now if we got goaltending that was somehow weak best. That was better than average. Like a thing that is actually allowed to happen, by the way.
00:10:59
Speaker
I'm going to do a bunch of DMT and then hallucinate the reality I'd be living in if Ottawa got Minnesota's goaltending. Like none of you are ready for what it would be like for Ottawa to get good goaltending.
00:11:15
Speaker
There would be nothing left. Like we'd be annihilating the league, annihilating. so yeah well while none of you are ready for what it's like for ottawa to get gold goaltending uh the actual senators aren't ready for that shit either as they are proving night in and night out and there's lots of blame to go around for the goaltending i think you can start laying the blame at the feet of the goaltenders and there's one guy who i don't actually blame for the goaltending
00:11:50
Speaker
And I think that's actually kind of a hot take in the context of everything. But the one guy i don't blame for goaltending is Steve Steyos. And don't get it twisted, I believe believe i blame Steve Steyos for his fair share of stuff.
00:12:06
Speaker
And there will be lots of time to talk about that stuff, both now and in the future. But the goaltending is the one area where I don't blame him. Because at the beginning of the season, he thought, well, I've got 70% of the same goaltenders I had last year, and they got us into the playoffs, so let's run it back.
00:12:26
Speaker
And if you thought that was stupid at the time and that he should have actually expected that both goalies were going to take a huge step back this year, you know, good for you. And I applaud you.
00:12:39
Speaker
You know, you you called it. If you thought if you looked to the goaltending this year and thought that's going be a major problem, Steve Stales needs to address that. Again, if that sounds like you, if that's what you were thinking, my my hats are are off. My hats are off to you.
00:12:54
Speaker
That's right. I wear multiple hats. They're all off. I just think if you did think that, we're just at a point where we're fully admitting that goalies are voodoo and past performance doesn't matter at all when predicting future performance.
00:13:10
Speaker
And we should just make all future goalie decisions with tea leaves and animal bones. So go ahead, do that, go with my blessing, leave me out of it.
00:13:21
Speaker
I hereby retire from but believing that the position of goaltender has any meaning beyond its use as a conduit for God to test and punish us.
00:13:34
Speaker
I know people want there to be like a good third goaltender on the team or something, but like how many NHL teams have NHL-ready depth that far down the lineup?
00:13:47
Speaker
It can't be all of them, right? So yeah, Steve Staios, I don't think the goaltending situation is your fault. I completely think the goaltending situation is sinking the team to a level that is kind of unimaginable until you start breaking it down in terms of numbers.
00:14:08
Speaker
You know, again, if the Senators had Minnesota's goaltending, we'd be at like a plus 50 goal differential, like instead of whatever we're at now, minus 10 or something.
00:14:21
Speaker
So that's just the reality of the season right now. It's simple to see. It's simple to explain. And there's not really any way to make any of that interesting.
00:14:34
Speaker
or at least there wasn't until Linus Ulmark went on personal leave and then suddenly a new angle presented itself and I'm referring of course to making shit up about the Ottawa Senators.
00:14:46
Speaker
Now if you somehow don't know what I'm talking about, I congratulate you on your good ah mental health and healthy media consumption. I'll briefly summarize what happened this week.
Rumors and Insider Culture
00:15:01
Speaker
An anonymous Burner Twitter account said that Linus Olmark's absence from the team was due to, how should I put this, a series of interconnected personal conflicts within the team.
00:15:13
Speaker
I'm not going to be any more specific specific than that. That's all you need to know. And I'm not going to sit here and act all high and mighty and pretend that I ignored this rumor and rejected it like a bad liver transplant.
00:15:27
Speaker
Of course I read this and went, what the hell? And then immediately started reading everything I could. I totally understand someone hearing there was a rumor, then seeking out the rumor and then, you know, sort of rolling the rumor around in their mouth like a fine wine.
00:15:47
Speaker
ah The thing is is that after you do that, you're supposed to spit it out. know Just because there's an information vacuum regarding the reasons behind Linus Ulmark's absence doesn't mean that we get to fill the vacuum with the first bullshit that comes along.
00:16:04
Speaker
Which brings me to my next point. We need to put this whole insider culture back in the reputational turlet where it belongs.
00:16:16
Speaker
So ask around, ask around, anyone will tell you. Ottawa is a small town. I've heard stories you people wouldn't believe.
00:16:28
Speaker
Redden, Ray Emery, Danny Heatley. I don't even have to say anything more than their names. And some of you immediately know what I'm talking about. I myself have put in more legwork than most on the Ottawa Senators gossip beat since I went to go watch Mika Zibanejad DJ dja as set in Kingston, Ontario and then retire to his private booth surrounded by a number of women I thought were statistically unlikely to all be his girlfriend.
00:17:00
Speaker
Like, I get it. Everyone loves a a juicy rumor, juicy piece of gossip. And especially in Ottawa. Someone always knows someone who works with a team, or know someone or knows someone who knows someone, or knows someone's girlfriend, or knows someone whose girlfriend is besties with some player's girlfriend.
00:17:21
Speaker
Like, it's everywhere. I personally know no less than four someones who know someone around the league. It's inevitable that you just hear stuff. It's fun. I get it. To say nothing of what just random people will tell you at a stats conference if you're ah a straight white guy with a good haircut.
00:17:40
Speaker
If you can get eight beers deep with any random person from an NHL front office, fucking do it. Take it from me, a guy who's heard a lot of interesting stuff from a lot of interesting people.
00:17:52
Speaker
It's fun. But here's where the rubber meets the road. If it's not coming from someone who is saying it publicly and putting their name on it, you can consider it bullshit.
00:18:03
Speaker
every Every rumor is just, my dad works at Nintendo. Okay? And now we're in this situation where we are taking these people seriously. Where we have people on forums, on Twitter, making anonymous posts.
00:18:19
Speaker
Like, I heard every guy in the locker room is real mad. And then other insiders are coming in and liking those tweets or replying with like a grimacing emoji. And then it starts spiraling out from there.
00:18:31
Speaker
Man, shut the fuck up. Say it with your chest or quit wasting your time. And if any of you are granting credence to stuff like that, take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why you're taking the Twitter likes of a guy named like Darth Gerber to be gospel truth on any matter beyond the nature of his own farts.
00:18:53
Speaker
And I find it interesting what starts spreading like wildfire and, you know, what is suddenly dangerous to talk about or starts being treated with discretion. Like if there's a scandalous personal angle, that's obviously fair game. But when certain players might be mentioned in a Hockey Canada report, that's when every Instagram account suddenly has the journalistic standards of Edward R. Morrow.
00:19:17
Speaker
Like, and it's not even unique to Ottawa, obviously. I'm just saying it's another way you know all this insider stuff is bullshit. It's never equal opportunity for every rumor, just the low rent ones.
00:19:28
Speaker
So that's my challenge to rumor mongers and wannabe insiders in 2026. ah twenty twenty six Either say what you mean or shut the fuck up. No more cowardly bullshit in 2026.
00:19:41
Speaker
Get it trending. oh Oh yeah, um the statement the Sens put out about the rumors was a little deranged. But as Eugene Melnick once said, I love the passion.
00:19:54
Speaker
That's all I have to say about that ah but that statement. People can debate whether it was good PR, bad PR, but it's what someone in the Ottawa Senators thought they had to do.
00:20:07
Speaker
And, you know, they did it to stand up for their players. And from that perspective, I salute it. And this brings me to my last news item that I'll be discussing today.
Controversy Over James Reimer Signing
00:20:21
Speaker
The Ottawa Senators are trying to bring in James Reimer to throw up the goaltending situation, with Darren Dredger reporting that, quote, the hope is that Reimer will provide good backup goaltending to Linus Ulmark when he returns from personal leave, unquote.
00:20:39
Speaker
And on the one hand, this makes me think that Stevie Stoicism thinks this season can still be saved. And he might not be wrong about that.
00:20:51
Speaker
But on the other hand, it also makes me think that he doesn't read the news at all. And I think Blue Sky user Alex Gilligan ah said it better than I could when they said, very funny to be on the precipice of having the world phenomenon gay hockey show be centered around a fictionalized version of your team and then sign a man most famous for his homophobia.
00:21:19
Speaker
And if you weren't aware of James Reimer's homophobia, that's okay because it manifested most publicly in 2023 when he was on the San Jose Sharks and he refused to wear a pride-themed warm-up jersey and then put out a public statement about it.
00:21:38
Speaker
And you shouldn't need to know what's going on with the San Jose Sharks in 2023, but I assure you that LGBTQ people were and are aware of it And in the aftermath of the announcement that the sense would be signing James Reimer to a PTO, and you know, I've seen a lot of reactions like, oh, well, he's just expressing his beliefs. Don't you think he should be able to have his own beliefs?
00:22:06
Speaker
And i guess my response to that is what if his beliefs were that cancer is a punishment with from God and he thinks that curing it runs counter to God's will.
00:22:19
Speaker
And I think that the reaction to that would be very clear. You'd say, that's great. Now shut the fuck up and put on the pink warmup jersey and get in there.
00:22:30
Speaker
You know, I'm thinking he can put on a you a pride warmup jersey for one night. It's a warmup jersey. It's not like they bring a gay guy down to center ice at the second intermission and then make one of the players suck him off to completion.
00:22:47
Speaker
Even though the ratings for that would be incredible. And the fact they don't do it is proof that the NHL isn't serious about growing the game. So, yeah, should a player be, I don't know, forced to wear pride jersey, even if it goes against, you know, his beliefs, quote unquote? And yeah, kind of, yeah, actually.
00:23:08
Speaker
a bunch of Ottawa Senators fans are probably going up against their beliefs every time they put on a Brady Kachuk jersey. You know, we're going against our beliefs if we remain standing during the U.S. National Anthem.
00:23:20
Speaker
People are going against their beliefs every goddamn day and an every time we watch hockey. You're not special. I assure you that hockey players can wear a rainbow jersey for 22 minutes once a year and then do fuck all for human rights the rest of the year. It's called living in a society, folks.
00:23:40
Speaker
And it's not like I expect or need every player to you know, share my political opinions.
Inclusivity in Hockey
00:23:51
Speaker
know i'm just speaking for myself here but like my expectations for how much my personal beliefs align with the players i cheer for are already in the turtlet like it's it's low you think i'm in a rush to find out what artem zoob thinks of the russian invasion of ukraine or i'm excited to hear about what shane pinto thinks about canada's trade war with the usa nope
00:24:18
Speaker
Don't care, don't want to know. The only thing I can do is make me unhappy. The minimum level of common decency I expect from the hockey players I cheer for is that they say, I love all our fans, even the gay or communist ones.
00:24:34
Speaker
You know, then we all have permission to share in the success of the senators. That's part of the kayfabe of sports fandom. The players do the hockey and we all celebrate together when something good happens.
00:24:45
Speaker
And that's the reason why James Reimer shouldn't be on the Sens, is because for a lot of fans, any success the Sens have with him will not be something they can find joy in.
00:24:57
Speaker
yeah We do not need to make LGBTQ people go against their beliefs by watching James Reimer. And, you know, big picture here, Ottawa has a world historical opportunity here to bring in new fans who suddenly know that the team exists because of heated rivalry.
00:25:17
Speaker
And the last thing I want to tell people who are asking me about the Ottawa Senators because of heated rivalry is good news, we just signed the homophobic goalie.
Attracting Diverse Fans and Inclusivity Efforts
00:25:29
Speaker
You know, if if Ottawa fucks up this gift they're being given, they will deserve everything they get because of it. Many people are desperate for hockey stories and hockey culture and hockey teams that go beyond know the very strict boundaries of just straight men who don't read much. You know, this is queer.
00:25:53
Speaker
Just look around at you know what suddenly gets traction. I think the Sens can carve out a little piece of land for other types of hockey fans.
00:26:03
Speaker
And it'll be a lot more fun and interesting around here. And if you're listening to this and thinking, oh, those new fans will be annoying or whatever, then i have some bad news about the fucking fans we have now.
00:26:19
Speaker
You know, it's called living in a society, folks. Like it was the old fans who said ah Eric Carlson was a garbage pick. You know, if if you don't like whatever the new fans ah are doing or saying, it's fine. You can keep listening to Locked On Sends or Coming In Hot or 32 Thoughts or whatever.
00:26:42
Speaker
It'll be fine. I assure you.
Conclusion: Ottawa Senators as a Team for Everyone
00:26:44
Speaker
You find people annoying. Oh, that goes both ways. And guess what? We all get to watch hockey. It's fucking fine.
00:26:54
Speaker
Relax. So that's my pitch. The Ottawa Senators for everyone. 1,000-year Senators Reich. Sen's rule, Leafs are poo. Money rains down from the sky. you know how the hymn goes.
00:27:08
Speaker
I'm going to close up the shop now. um If you like the show and think more people should listen to it, then rate, like, comment, subscribe, post to Reddit. Maybe just tell a friend about it. That's cool too. I'd love to get some listeners through word of mouth.
00:27:23
Speaker
And if you want the show to be your special secret, that's fine too. We love you anyway. So you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. And we'll let you know the next time the lounge is open.
00:27:36
Speaker
I leave you with On View by My Hill. Have a good night, folks. We'll see you later.
00:28:26
Speaker
It doesn't feel like head keeps spinning. But my heart has a steady feel. You decide when to change my mind.
00:29:12
Speaker
Catch the sun, depart, and everything after what's necessary to you.
00:29:23
Speaker
And only you in this town.
00:29:28
Speaker
Every little thing is growing across the sea.