You've made the decision, or maybe it's been made for you. Either way, most people do what feels urgent: call a lawyer in a panic, tell their spouse too soon, move out of the house without thinking it through. Those early moves can follow you through the whole process. In this episode, Karen McMahon shares the five essentials to get right before you file, so you move forward with clarity and a plan instead of fear.
First, investigate your legal rights, talk to a matrimonial attorney in your jurisdiction before you do anything else, so you understand where you stand on finances, assets, and custody. Second, share the decision strategically, using the BIFF approach (brief, informative, firm, friendly) and a real plan for timing and safety. Third, redefine home life, someone moves out of the master bedroom, and new household rules go into place so your actions match your words. Fourth, tell the kids with a simple, age-appropriate message: we love you, it's going to be okay, you'll still see both of us. Fifth, create a temporary parenting plan and trial a shared schedule, which becomes valuable data for negotiating custody later.
Karen also covers whether you actually need a lawyer (almost always, yes) and how to file.
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