You’re On Fire, It’s Fine: Teens and Big Feelings: Episode 217

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.

In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I speak with Katie K. May, a licensed therapist and author of the book You’re On Fire. It’s Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens With Self-Destructive Behaviors.

We discussed children/teens who are “fire feelers”, why intense emotions can lead to risky behaviours, how to respond to self-harm urges, how to stay connected or rebuild your connection with your teen, and what parents of younger children can do now to prevent challenges in their teen years.

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We talk about:

* 00:05 — What Is a Fire Feeler?

* 00:06 — What Emotional Dysregulation Really Means

* 00:07 — Fire Feelers Often Have Fire-Feeler Parents- Genetic and Environmental Components

* 00:10 — Why Teens Are So Easily Overwhelmed

* 00:12 — What Fire Feelers Do When Overwhelmed

* 00:20 — How Parents Should Respond to Self-Harm Urges

* 00:22 — When to Get Professional Help

* 00:24 — Why Depression Looks Different in Teens

* 00:25 — Teens Still Need Their Parents

* 00:26 — How to Stay Connected to Teens

* 00:28 — Judgment vs Validation

* 00:31 — How to Rebuild Connection When Things Are Broken- Katie’s Hierarchy of Connection

* 00:34 — Sensitivity & Impulsivity

* 00:35 — What Parents of Younger Kids Can Do Now

* 00:37 — Why Control Works When Kids Are Young — and Fails Later

* 00:38 — Why “Tough Love” Doesn’t Work

Resources mentioned in this episode:

* Evelyn & Bobbie bras

* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player

* The Peaceful Parenting Membership

* Get a free chapter of Katie’s book

* Katie’s website

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xx Sarah and Corey

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