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00:00:00
00:00:01
The One With Kids and Dogs
16 Plays1 year ago
In this weeks episode, listen in for our take on what to do through the stages of when you find out you're expecting to when you give birth to when your child starts to crawl/walk all while having a dog!
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Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Excitement is a bad idea with a baby and a A dog with different whole germs lick my kid. I think that's super irresponsible. Absolutely. Dogs carry parasites that are transferable to humans and dogs. Obviously they risk as a pregnant person. I don't want my dog to start barking at people approaching, you know, coming inside or approaching a baby. want my dog to protect my kid. My dad can't even go towards the best. and We don't need that bond.
00:00:28
Speaker
instantly. That level of protection to Liz, we just gave birth. We're on our way home. We get home. What's the first things we should be doing with our dogs or shouldn't be doing? ah Because that can just be just as important as what to do.
00:00:51
Speaker
Absolutely. What not to do would be to focus on that immediate greeting with the dog and the baby because you have just gone through a very strenuous labor. More than likely you're exhausted and you have a newborn that you are learning how to care for.
00:01:11
Speaker
So worrying about that greeting with your dog is just not the first priority. What I would do, what to do is to really focus on your dog being calm around the baby. And that's mostly like dad's job, right? And if we don't think that dad's capable or willing, should the dog just go to the trainer?
00:01:35
Speaker
Absolutely, a lot of our clients focus on too much of you know who's doing what. And we try to simplify as much as possible. We offer boarding for our clients or board and train. So if you're sending you know your dog to training and you've made that decision, a great time to do it is when you're at the hospital. And so we get dogs all the time when mom's delivering. We give, you know the dog's gone for two weeks. We give mom a good you know week and a half to two weeks.
00:02:03
Speaker
to really get in a routine with the baby, so that way when the dog's coming home and trained and calm and under control, it's a lot easier for mom and dad and baby and dog to coexist. Yeah, I remember last winter, we trained a dog, like he got dropped off, labor was next day. Correct. And then two and two weeks later, we took the dog home.
00:02:28
Speaker
And like mom was able to walk, was not like on bed rest anymore and was was able to just like accept the benefits of their dog instead of forcing like, Oh, I have to heavily work my dog right when I'm back from the hospital. Yeah. It's very daunting, especially if you're nervous about what your dog might do or how your dog might react.
00:02:50
Speaker
And so simplifying that with sending it to the trainer or just focusing on those calm behaviors. If your dog does have an obedience base, the nose place commands and nose down commands and things like that, very helpful to utilize those and you nailed, you know, it on the head, that dad or partner, whoever's helping your support person should really be the person to be focusing on the dog. If you're the one focusing on the baby.
00:03:15
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I, as, as a dad, that's to be, um, I know that that first week, and almost every dog related thing is on me. Like you're not going to be feeding, especially like we feed raw, right? Like I don't need you around raw food when you're handling my baby as well. Um, so like just nailing those things out, like making sure that.
00:03:44
Speaker
the dogs are still a priority. um But knowing that mom can't be the, she can't have two 100% priorities. absolutely Because that's not fair to the dog, the baby or mom. Yeah, having baby and dog.
00:03:58
Speaker
Fully depend on 1 person you kind of have to pick and choose what you what you're doing. We don't want to necessarily take anything away from what the dogs getting and so it's a great way. You know, to for dad to be able to walk the dogs when moms napping with the baby or nursing or whatever that might look like, um but definitely, you know, focusing on.
00:04:19
Speaker
not necessarily taking away as much that the dog has or has had in its routine, so feeding it normally like you would, playing with it, walking it. If you need to drop it off at a daycare or training facility like us, like we've been talking about, that's super helpful because then the dog, their daily activity isn't lacking because you have less hands um or priorities, you know obviously, because the baby takes that first priority.
00:04:46
Speaker
What are good commands to rely on to get your dog some stimulation while you're in those recovery states? Place, down, come. Place is one of those commands and our dogs are placing right now. If you guys can see, you know, they're, they're calm, they're relaxed. They're more than likely taking a little nap. And this is a great way for your dog to, um, you know, get tired, like mentally stimulating, you know, there's distractions, there's people in and out, you know, babies doing what baby does, crying, eating, you know, things like that. You're up and down with your baby. Um, and you're a dog.
00:05:26
Speaker
should be existing or coexisting while not exactly interacting with every little thing that's going on. And so that's a command that like I think is number one for a lot of people is place and laying down on place. So you know we see all these videos online of these Goldens or these dogs like super excitedly like greeting their new family members and even licking them.
00:05:54
Speaker
Why is that a bad idea? Excitement is a bad idea with a baby and a dog because you're getting a dog that with excitement is more than likely going to jump.
00:06:07
Speaker
more than likely potentially going to use its mouth, you know its teeth, um and also the germs that your dog may have in their mouth. Maybe your baby isn't ready for those types of germs. yeah i mean The doctor was talking about not letting during this season that we're going to be having our kid, letting other family members kiss my kid. so why would i let
00:06:38
Speaker
Oh yeah, let me let this animal who may or may not have just left his butt lick my baby's face. Certainly not in the first weeks. I'm sure there's you know some good to having bacteria or germs introduced, but not in the first week of bringing your home you know your your baby home from the hospital. I mean, we've heard horror stories like right now, like you're not letting any dog kiss your face because we've heard the horror stories of what you know parasites can happen to you. Absolutely. Dogs carry parasites that are transferable to humans and dogs, obviously. But that's a big risk as a pregnant person to take to let a dog lick your face. If you don't know that it's, you know, obviously we give different preventatives, but it does not, it's not 99, you know, 100%.
00:07:28
Speaker
I guess that's a good thing to talk about too, is making sure your dog is on the right preventatives and dewormers while you're pregnant and while when the new baby comes. Because if it's kachiardia, that's transferable to you and the baby. And that is miserable.
00:07:48
Speaker
Absolutely. Yeah, parasites and um all of those gross infectious diseases that dogs and animals can carry, I mean, it is it's tricky. And so we can be, um you know, it's contagious to humans, but we can also be treated of that. ah So if you were to get Giardia from a dog, you could be treated of that. Unfortunately, I don't think pregnant women can take those medications, so they just have to deal with deal with it, deal with the consequences. The consequences can be either no symptoms or all symptoms, and that's gross. me As a pregnant person, you like there's already enough symptoms. I don't want any of that. and so When you're preparing to have a family,
00:08:28
Speaker
um or you know that you're pregnant, I would get your dog into the vet, get them a stool sample, let them check everything, and then let them tell you what kind of preventative your dog should be on. That should be flea and tick, heartworm, and um more than likely that stuff will kick out any parasites and keeps it at bay.
00:08:48
Speaker
Yeah, and if your dog is kissing the inside of your mouth, please stop. Just stop. That's the grossest thing. I love my dogs, but I don't need your tongue in and around this area. Yeah, I thinks think it's wrong.
00:09:05
Speaker
um So, I mean, what's after the newborn stage, right? You know, like when do they start moving? When are we, were like tummy time? Like what should your dog do when your baby's in tummy time?
00:09:18
Speaker
Tommy time is really great for babies and this is an awesome time for them to be using their reflexes. You know, practicing those muscles because they've never, I mean, sure, they're bouncing around here, but they are learning as much as we are about them. And so with the dogs, a place is a great way. um I mean, I've been railing on place. Place is it. Using place is great for tummy time. Your baby's in its place doing its tummy time. And, and that usually is, um, you know, on a rug or.
00:09:55
Speaker
I mean, we have a nursery or um'm a ah registry list. And ah so tummy time is like one of those things I have on there is to have this little mat and it's got all these little activity things. It's really cute, but you know, it looks a lot like a place, but it's, you know, babies or dogs. So definitely focus on working on place with your dog or down.
00:10:19
Speaker
Could I place my dog on that tummy? No. No? You don't want hair on that and drool or germs or anything unnecessary. There should be a lot of distinction between what is babies and what is dogs.
00:10:34
Speaker
How do you make that determination of between what is babies and what is dogs? Because like a lot of the toys look it's very similar. Yeah, and and that's a great question because dogs would look at maybe a baby toy and not necessarily know like, hey, this is mine or not.
00:10:51
Speaker
Maybe there's a smell on their toy because they've carried it around in their mouth before, and this has no general smell of theirs. Well, we get that all the time. that baby you know ah Dogs are eating and picking up baby toys, and that's a costly expense if it's going through the digestion system, but it's also just a bad behavior. You might get your baby crying because the dog took the toy, um and then obviously the medical expenses and how serious it is if the dog does ingest the toy.
00:11:20
Speaker
ways to combat that would be for the dog to have a solid understanding of no. whether you need to work with a trainer on that, which most people do. I would say a lot of our calls are that of, you know, my dog just doesn't have boundaries. We need boundaries. And so obviously you have the commands, but you also need for the dog to know no or drop it. If it's their object, they can have that. um If they're picking up other things, I would correct that and then redirect them into what they can have. Redirecting just means
00:11:53
Speaker
No to baby toy yes to your toy. Yeah and i would add onto that like you know my big fear is a dog taking possession of a baby's toy from baby and how dangerous that could be because.
00:12:11
Speaker
you know these animals they can get like very fixated on on something that they love and well it's great like you know like them satiating their drive um big words there um but just like doing something they like um and then that thing being in someone else's hands can cause a bite can cause a reaction cause a growl which um You know, like that's another topic that we'll talk about soon, but um I think it's very important to make those lines in the sand before baby comes. I would have this stuff out and we're going to have this stuff out on the ground and the dogs can't touch it. Like it's just a line in the sand of like, Hey, that's not yours. If I give it to you, or if it's a ball or a bone free game, but if it's my kid stuffy, no way.
00:13:08
Speaker
Absolutely. You know, right now in our home, we have a bass net set up. We have a swing set up. And those are great ways to start not only introducing just the inanimate objects to the dog. Some dogs are weird with inanimate objects, but just getting them used to that area. And then also on top of that, having the baby toys in and around those areas.
00:13:33
Speaker
um Along with sounds like playing baby sounds like a baby crying maybe you wrap up your phone in a blanket or a small towel and you put it in the bass net and you let the crying go and um you know you you should ideally have your dog in some sort of command or redirect your dog to a command um if it if your dog reacts to the sound of the baby crying scared or interested in wanting to go towards it because as a baby cries, you as mama or you know partner dad should pick up baby. and so Those are activities that we need to do um before baby comes so that way the dogs are used to reactions towards sound, but not them reacting towards sound. We react towards sound. We you know pick up baby and console baby.
00:14:27
Speaker
I don't need the dog interested in what baby's doing and trying to console it. It's not your job. yeah um A very common thing we hear from i pet parents as they're getting ready for introducing a ah baby is, I want my dog to protect my kid. While that's great, um we don't need that bond instantly.
00:14:53
Speaker
that bond can be developed and you got to remember you already have that bond with your pet yourself. So that that dog is more than likely going to want to protect Liz when she's feeling vulnerable already. We don't need to, oh, hey, make this like newborn super close with my dog um to create that situation. So like all that to say is like we still need that separation right now um super early on. Absolutely. You know, it's great for a dog to,
00:15:32
Speaker
Instinctly want to protect from danger, but how often are you running into danger? It's really low. And how often are you inviting people into your house when you have a baby? We talked about that earlier. I don't want my dog to start barking at people approaching, you know, coming inside or approaching my baby because I have to go and pick up my baby and console that. And we see all the time on social media, people taking videos of their babies and their dogs and it's just not funny. There was one recently um and basically the dog is protecting the baby from mom and dad. That's not funny. We've received calls on that where like the the the dad can't even go towards the bassinet without the dog like squaring up. Into the nursery. like It blocks the doorway and that's not cute. It's not funny and we're not going to allow that.
00:16:31
Speaker
And so people call us all the time for that, um you know, to help with that, because that's a big serious problem for that type of that level of protection to happen. Yeah. And then how do we transition out of like this separation into, Hey, like this toddler or this kid has to interact with my full grown dog?
00:16:53
Speaker
There's a, that's a loaded question. There's so many things, but I really would love to work on the dog, um you know, walking with the baby. And so what that looks like is babies in a stroller or when your baby's older and you maybe have more of like a wagon set up, whatever you have, your dog should be walking. And again, this is something that you can start before you have baby with.
00:17:22
Speaker
Walking your dog and pushing the stroller or a car at a supermarket, not supermarket, but Lowe's or Home Depot. Absolutely. And we as trainers can help you with that. If, if that's a big struggle, you need that help. I tell parents before their parents to do that immediately. Like even before you have baby, baby shower, get a stroller. I sure it's on your registry. I don't care. Get it practice. because Even if it's a cheap one, just go get one and to to practice. Yeah. Absolutely, it's important to have. And so you should be able to you know walk your dog with your baby in the stroller. um So that way your baby gets used to your dog, your dog gets used to your baby. And then as they grow, that's definitely part of you know your daily activity, how to integrate them to less separation. um you know More like your baby's more active, um definitely stroller and walks. Awesome.
00:18:19
Speaker
What age, like I think of Talene's kid, what age can my kid tell my dog what to do? I honestly, as soon as they start.
00:18:30
Speaker
you know, picking up on the commands. And that's everyone um you know that's everyone's opinion and and cup of tea. Like if you don't want your kid yelling at your dog, sit and come. I think it's the cutest thing in the world. And it's it's it's amazing that the dog actually responds. If the dog doesn't care about it, it's like, okay, you know, it's just it's it's meaningless.
00:18:54
Speaker
I would say at at any age that your dog yeah i'm sorry your kid is doing that. If your kid can say sit, go for it. Go for it. Now help them. right like If you are the one leading the dog in that situation, help them so that can be a transition. But I've seen kids as young as three walk a dog in the heel, so yeah not calling out anybody who's an adult that can't walk their dogs, but I've seen three-year-olds do it. so ah Definitely assisted, right? We weve as trainers have helped families with their little ones.
00:19:30
Speaker
to walk, you know, for the dog to respond to anybody assisted though, right? Like if you have a big powerful dog, you might want to hang on to the end of the leash just in case, you know, kind of have the dog here, you know, baby, or I'm sorry, not baby at this point, you know, toddler holding that leash and then you're on the end just, just in case, just to make sure that, you know, there's not an issue. Or if they're e-colored during their off leash, not at all.
00:19:58
Speaker
touched and you have that you have the remote, you help them stay in that spot for for the kid. The kid can say the word, you click if you need to click. Absolutely. What are some things that you ah don't want your toddler or baby doing to your dog when your dog's just existing? Well, you know this is a great thing. like We've been telling anyone with younger kids, lock your e-collar remotes.
00:20:28
Speaker
don't don't have it super available because kids love to what press buttons on anything so like if it's a cell phone if it's a tablet if it's a toy they don't know that this remote that looks like a walkie talkie is not for them. So they are going to dial it up and they're going to click that button and they're going to correct your dog. I don't want them doing that. I don't want them jumping on my dog. um I don't want them pulling at their pain points. So if I have like an older dog, like let's say baby or female pitbull, she has sore back ends.
00:21:10
Speaker
At no point will my toddler be able to touch her back end. And i'm I'm going to advocate for my dog in that situation too, because advocating for my dog will keep both of them safe. right Sometimes it's like unrealistic to just be like, baby, you can't react to the situation, baby, as in my dog, um in this situation, even though you're you're in pain.
00:21:35
Speaker
So I have to make sure my toddler understands like, hey, we don't touch that dog there. I know you can grab battle and you can jump on B, but you can't do that to baby.
00:21:46
Speaker
Absolutely. Yeah, education with your kids at an early age is super important. um Dogs, I'll be honest, are a lot more manageable when they're trained than a toddler. Toddler, you tell them no, and they're very determined, or they cry. And so you have to kind of pick and choose. I tell people this, my clients all the time that have kids and dogs, who's easier to manage in that situation? I can recall my dog away from food.
00:22:16
Speaker
I can't necessarily get my kid to leave a snack that my dogs, you know, getting into whatever the situation is, but you need to advocate for both, but manage who's easiest to manage at that point. And more than likely, our trained dogs are the easiest. They will come to us, you know, 99.9 or 100% of the time.
00:22:39
Speaker
I don't think my toddler is going to come over to me 100% of the time if they're really enamored with something. So advocating and managing and and working on who's easiest to manage at that point. So if you had to sum up what the steps would be for you you and your dog after birth, what would you say? Step one.
00:23:06
Speaker
You should have already, I'm gonna preface this, okay? You should have already determined whether or not your dog needed training and sent your dog to training um or worked on things at home, whatever your situation is, but your dog needs to have a base. So we're gonna preface the steps with that. Then you go through your labor, you bring your dog home. Step one is you're not handling, as mom, you're not handling the dog and dad's handling the dog. um Working on calm behaviors.
00:23:35
Speaker
correcting behaviors that are unwanted, like jumping up or um let's say I have a bottle in my hand. If my dog wants that object because it thinks it's a toy, like that just can't happen. um you know two Step two, I would say um separating ah areas like the nursery from your dog or the bassinet from your dog, making sure that there's that distinction between where your baby would lay down or being a rocker or nursing or things like that. You have your stations, that's very normal. Those are things that we're setting up right now in our home. So you want to be able to separate. Do you have number three for me?
00:24:14
Speaker
I do have number three. Number three is like have like your commands ready. Know what your dog's strengths are and their weaknesses of, hey, I know they can hold place for an hour. So when I know I'm giving tummy time or I am at my wit's end, I'm going to use that tool of, hey, go place and lay down, feel comfortable.
00:24:39
Speaker
um in that, so you know, continue the separation. And if I had to like, if I had to summarize it, it would be separation of dog and baby until we can merge them together. But that's a slow process.
00:24:55
Speaker
Absolutely. You don't want to rush that. And so even just separating, like you had talked about the toys, the toys of baby, the things that are babies and the things that are dogs, that's important separation to have and distinctions to have with your dog for sure. You know, feeding times.
00:25:12
Speaker
When you start actually having your baby in a high chair, a lot of people like to let their dogs you know at at the feet of the high chair, licking, dropped food. and The kids just think it's hilarious to give the dogs food and that's also not a really great boundary. you know That's up to you as like as a parent of your dog and your kid, but more than likely you're going to um you know maybe have some guarding issues there.
00:25:38
Speaker
or you'll have Bjorn. Yeah, a fat dog. He's a fat dog because he gets all the waffles and peanut butter jelly sandwiches because the kids just love to feed them. You don't want that. So distinctions there, separations there. And I would just ah finish it up with, it's not going to be easy.
00:25:56
Speaker
and ah with that but it'll be worth it and and on top of it all it's very simple. Follow like basic understandings of your dogs and commands and you will get through that with ease. We've seen the worst dogs who have aggression and separation anxiety and possessiveness all have successful lives with their families, with new babies.
00:26:27
Speaker
so it's not it's not i We're making it out to be serious, um but we just want to give it that that level of seriousness so that way we can have it easier going forward. Because if you do all this stuff right the first time with the first kid, each kid shouldn't be easier and easier.
00:26:51
Speaker
Absolutely. Cause you'll just know the routine, know what to do. And it, it just kind of is second nature. So. One last point I wanted to say is don't be a sitcom dad. Don't be that guy that says, well, the dog listens to me when your your wife or your partner is struggling. Don't be that guy. How many times do we get that? I mean, that's the majority of the guys we get. um Love you guys to death if you're listening. um But I think we have a lot of bad role models in that sense of like,
00:27:27
Speaker
Well, the the mom's always done it. The stuff around the house will step up, take care of your dog. You love that dog, make it listen, make it be better. And you love your wife or your significant other, whatever your situation is. You love that other person. And you love the baby. And you love the baby. And so if you are unwilling to work with your dog to make it easy for your wife and baby, that's on you. And that's a big problem. So figure it out. Figure it out.
00:27:57
Speaker
Oh, don't be that guy. you know I always tell wives and and moms that you know if your significant other husband is unwilling to change, then you need you need to up the ante. You need to up the motivation. So um there was at one point that I had a conversation with with Jacob about, hey, you're doing X with, it was battle. You were stealing the brakes from battle. I would put battle in place and then he would come home from work and just have the fun. But it made me look like the bad guy that has to keep you know putting him in command and correcting him. And so I said, Jacob, you're making it really hard for me because if you step into the room, everything's out the window. So you gotta stop doing that. yeah And so that motivation of me explaining that it's hard,
00:28:44
Speaker
He was able to say, okay, well, I'm not going to do that anymore. I don't want to make it hard for you. So as a partner, husband, you shouldn't want to make it hard for your wife or your, now your, you know, your, um, uh, mother, of your child. Like what what are we doing here? So up the motivation of the auntie. Don't be Kevin. Don't be Kevin. Don't be a sitcom dad. Like this is, don't do, don't be that guy. Cool.