Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
02 - Common Not Normal: The Truth About Mom Guilt
92 Plays1 year ago
In this week's episode of The Aligned Working Mom I'm sharing:
- Why guilt became our baseline emotion (and how to challenge that)
- The difference between guilt and conviction (this one's a game changer)
- The exact moment I realized I had to stop micromanaging my entire life
- 3 powerful ways to start releasing guilt today.
This isn't a pep talk.
It's a permission slip.
To drop the debilitating weight of mom guilt.
To reclaim your peace and joy.
To model something different for your kids - especially our daughters.
Transcript
Introduction and Purpose of the Podcast
00:00:00
Alison Pritchett
Hey, welcome back to the Aligned Working Mom, the podcast for high-achieving corporate moms ready to say no thanks to burnout, bye to mom guilt, and a hard pass to chasing that mythical thing called balance.
00:00:16
Alison Pritchett
Let's build our lives instead, rooted in peace, presence, and purpose.
Allie's Background and Journey
00:00:22
Alison Pritchett
I'm Allie Pritchett, and if you don't know me, I'm a little different.
00:00:26
Alison Pritchett
Aren't we all? I'm socially awkward more often than I care to admit, and I spent way too much of my life trying to morph into what I thought people wanted me to be, only to be miserable and never really myself.
00:00:40
Alison Pritchett
I have 25 years in corporate America, 20 of those leading others, and 14 as a mom. I'm a corporate leader, mentor, wife to an incredible man who has been by my side the last 16 years, and mom to an incredible teenage son, an amazing tweenage daughter.
00:00:59
Alison Pritchett
I know the pressure of doing all the things, the grind of corporate America, meanwhile struggling to hold it all together and wondering if it's enough.
Addressing Mom Guilt and Redefining Success
00:01:09
Alison Pritchett
Each week I bring you honest conversations, mindset shifts, and practical strategies to help you stop living on empty and start living with intention.
00:01:19
Alison Pritchett
redefining success at home, at work, and everywhere in between. Because I believe ambition and motherhood don't have to compete. So welcome. This is your permission slip to take a deep breath, slow down, and get cozy.
00:01:35
Alison Pritchett
We're designing a life that feels just as good on the inside as we wish it would look on the outside. And today, we're going to tackle the elephant in the room, mom guilt.
00:01:47
Alison Pritchett
You know, that constant nagging in the back of your mind, the tension in your chest when you say goodbye and leave for work, the pressure to be everything, everywhere, all at once.
00:01:59
Alison Pritchett
Most of us have been fed the lie that guilt is just a part of motherhood, especially if you work outside the home. It's been packaged and sold to us as a rite of passage.
00:02:11
Alison Pritchett
If you've been on social media for more than two seconds, you feel like you should experience it all the time. It's a sign that you care, that you're doing it right.
00:02:21
Alison Pritchett
But here's the truth. Just because something is common doesn't mean it's normal. Common, not normal. That was the mantra that kept driving me forward through an incredibly frustrating health situation a couple years ago and one I continue to lean on.
00:02:39
Alison Pritchett
Just because my doctor sought eight of me that day doesn't make it okay. Guilt has become a baseline emotion for too many brilliant, capable, loving moms, and you've accepted it without questioning it.
00:02:55
Alison Pritchett
But what if guilt wasn't something you were meant to carry every day? What if it's actually not a requirement of good motherhood, but instead ah reflection of misaligned expectations and subliminal peer pressure?
00:03:10
Alison Pritchett
In this episode, we're going to unpack why mom guilt is so widespread, what we should be listening to instead, and how to begin releasing it without sacrificing your ambition, your presence, or your peace.
Understanding Guilt vs. Conviction
00:03:25
Alison Pritchett
Let's dive in. Yes, mom guilt is common. In fact, I don't know a single high achieving mom who hasn't felt it. That punch in the gut feeling when you miss an event.
00:03:39
Alison Pritchett
The sting when your child asks why you're always working. That quiet ache when you're with family, but your mind is somewhere else. Or when you're at work, but your mind is on your family.
00:03:54
Alison Pritchett
It's so common we've stopped questioning it. We just absorb it. We carry it. We see it on social media. We're surrounded by this impression that we should have it.
00:04:04
Alison Pritchett
So we live with it all the time. And we convince ourselves that maybe this is just what motherhood is supposed to feel like. But I need you to hear this. Just because something is common doesn't mean it's normal.
00:04:19
Alison Pritchett
You were not created to carry mom guilt as your emotional baseline. It is not a measure of your love. It's not proof that you're a good mom. It's not a badge of honor. It's a lie and it's not helpful.
00:04:32
Alison Pritchett
It's not a permanent identity. We've been taught that good moms always put their kids first, that sacrifice is noble, that exhaustion is expected, that ambition makes us selfish.
00:04:45
Alison Pritchett
And if we're not constantly questioning ourselves, we must be doing something wrong. But let me be clear, these messages are not the truth. They are designed to keep women, ah especially working moms, in cycles of over-functioning and self-abandonment.
00:05:01
Alison Pritchett
So yes, mom guilt is common, but it is not normal and not healthy. And you don't have to carry it as a cost of your motherhood or your success.
00:05:13
Alison Pritchett
Now let's talk about guilt versus conviction. Guilt and conviction are not the same. Guilt says you're falling short. You're failing.
00:05:24
Alison Pritchett
You're not enough. it attack It attacks your identity. It can be loud or it can be quiet, but it almost always brings up feelings of shame.
00:05:36
Alison Pritchett
Conviction, on the other hand, says something is off and it's time to make a shift. It's the pulling at your heart. It's about driving you forward through positive change in the season you're in.
00:05:50
Alison Pritchett
It's the quiet knowing. It comes from your values, not from the expectations of others, all the shoulds, or fear. Here's a simple way to tell the difference.
00:06:03
Alison Pritchett
Guilt feels heavy and helpless and it doesn't go away. Conviction feels clear and corrective. Guilt keeps you stuck in judgment.
00:06:15
Alison Pritchett
Conviction leads you to aligned action. me give you an example. Guilt sounds like, I missed bedtime again. I'm a bad mom.
00:06:26
Alison Pritchett
Conviction sounds like, I don't feel good about how rushed bedtime was. What do I want it to look like next time? See the difference? One spirals in shame.
00:06:38
Alison Pritchett
The other invites a shift. When we're stuck in guilt, we spiral. When we follow conviction, we become intentional. And here's the best part. Conviction honors both your ambition and your motherhood.
00:06:53
Alison Pritchett
It holds space for your humanity, your needs, and your season. It asks what matters most right now and what small shift would move me toward that.
00:07:04
Alison Pritchett
So the next time you feel that familiar ache, pause and ask yourself, is this guilt creeping in and can I just reject it? Or am I feeling convicted to realign to something I want to prioritize in this season?
00:07:19
Alison Pritchett
And let that be the question. Let that question be a turning point. Story time, because I haven't always lived this way.
Allie's Personal Struggles with Guilt
00:07:30
Alison Pritchett
For a long time, I was the walking definition of high achieving and barely holding it together. From the outside, things looked great. I was leading a team, hitting my goals, building big things.
00:07:43
Alison Pritchett
Managing work and home, always busy, always productive. But inside, i was exhausted, disconnected, and highly anxious, drowning in guilt every single day, while also trying to manage every decision everywhere.
00:08:01
Alison Pritchett
Guilt for working, guilt for missing moments, then lashing out when my husband stepped in because I would have done it differently. During a major project at work that brought me out of town for 10 weeks when my son was one, I remember one blow up vividly.
00:08:19
Alison Pritchett
he had yet another ear infection and my husband Kyle took him to the doctor. When I peppered him with a thousand questions and spewed judgment at him, he snapped back.
00:08:29
Alison Pritchett
And he should have. He was taking care of things and I needed to stop projecting my guilt of being gone all over him. There was guilt for wanting more than just motherhood and then guilt for not being present with my kids more.
00:08:46
Alison Pritchett
I felt like I was constantly fighting between being successful or being a good mom and whichever choice I made, guilt followed. I couldn't be everywhere at all times.
00:08:57
Alison Pritchett
And that guilt, it carried it like it was part of my job description until one day I realized I had to surrender where I couldn't be. I wasn't actually living my life.
00:09:09
Alison Pritchett
I was trying to manage every aspect of my life with a death grip and choking out everyone I loved. Checking boxes though, pushing through, trying to prove something no one was asking me to prove.
00:09:23
Alison Pritchett
And here's what changed everything. i stopped asking, how do I do slash manage slash micromanage at all?
Shifting Focus to What Matters Most
00:09:31
Alison Pritchett
And I started asking questions like, what matters most in this season?
00:09:36
Alison Pritchett
What do I need to surrender where I can't be? am I comfortable in my decisions of where I am? And who is leading where I'm not? in that moment?
00:09:48
Alison Pritchett
Am I confident in that decision? Where am I misaligned? What am I ready to let go of? I stopped letting guilt be the compass and I started listening to my values, to what I needed, to what my kids needed, to what my husband needed, to the nudges I'd been ignoring for years.
Aligning Values and Letting Go of Guilt
00:10:10
Alison Pritchett
And then slowly, not overnight, I started to feel different, more grounded, more present, more whole. Did I still have a full plate?
00:10:21
Alison Pritchett
Yes. But I also let others truly step in too. Did my responsibilities go away? Of course not. But how I moved through life changed completely.
00:10:33
Alison Pritchett
I made peace with the fact that I am both ambitious and nurturing. driven and deeply loving, that I can lead while at work and be a present mom when I'm aligned.
00:10:47
Alison Pritchett
My one-year-old son didn't need me in that exam room instead of my husband, and my husband didn't need me judging or second-guessing his every move. Gage didn't need my stress or the stress I created for Kyle.
00:11:02
Alison Pritchett
Our kids pick up on the emotional tone in our homes, and we're not doing anyone any favors walking around in a debilitating cloud of mom guilt at all times.
00:11:13
Alison Pritchett
I don't want my kids, and especially my daughter Hudson, to grow up thinking that's what an ambitious adult life and motherhood will look like for her. I want us all, her included, to find and bring joy to our homes.
00:11:28
Alison Pritchett
That is the legacy I want to leave. And now this is the work I get to do with other high achieving moms like you. Not to help you balance it all, so to speak, but to help you realign your life so you can let go of what was never yours to carry.
00:11:48
Alison Pritchett
All right, so let's dive in and make this
Practical Tips for Releasing Guilt
00:11:51
Alison Pritchett
tactical. Here are some tips to start releasing guilt today. Not a fix your whole life overnight kind of way, but in small intentional moments.
00:12:02
Alison Pritchett
Because this work actually doesn't require a massive overhaul. It starts with a shift in awareness. And so here are my three tips to begin. First, name it.
00:12:13
Alison Pritchett
The first step is to notice when guilt is showing up and call it what it is. It's so emotionally charged and crippling and it's just not needed.
00:12:24
Alison Pritchett
I feel guilty for taking this work trip. I feel guilty for wanting time alone. I feel guilty for not being more patient today. Acknowledge it. When you name guilt, you can reject it and take away its power.
00:12:38
Alison Pritchett
Naming it brings clarity and clarity gives you a choice. Second, Reframe it. Once you name it, ask yourself, what's the story I'm believing about myself?
00:12:50
Alison Pritchett
Because guilt is often built on false narratives, that good moms never miss anything, that your worth is tied to how much you sacrifice, that rest is lazy, that needing help makes you weak.
00:13:02
Alison Pritchett
So when guilt shows up, reframe that story from i should be doing more I'm doing exactly what matters most right now. From I'm failing I'm choosing based on my values for what makes the most sense right now.
00:13:18
Alison Pritchett
It's not about sugarcoating. It's about realigning with what's true. And last, realign. Finally, if something doesn't feel right still, lean into any lingering conviction and adjust.
00:13:34
Alison Pritchett
Ask yourself, what do I want this to look like instead? What would feel more aligned for this season? Or what's one small shift I can make right now?
00:13:46
Alison Pritchett
Realignment is often quiet. It might look like changing your morning routine, blocking your calendar differently, allowing your yourself transition between rule jumps.
00:13:57
Alison Pritchett
letting someone else lead where you don't need to, or simply giving yourself the permission to not do it all. This is where peace lives. Not in doing everything perfectly, but in doing what feels right for you.
00:14:13
Alison Pritchett
You don't need a perfect p plan. You just need to begin. Start by naming it, reframe it, And then ask, what does a lion look like today?
00:14:24
Alison Pritchett
Because mom guilt may be common, but it's not normal. However, peace and joy, that's the legacy I want to leave. And man, that is what you are made for.
Call to Action and Engagement
00:14:37
Alison Pritchett
All right, that's it for today's episode. And if no one has told you lately, you're doing better than you think. Not because you're doing it all, but because you're showing up with heart and intention.
00:14:50
Alison Pritchett
And if this conversation gave you a breath of relief, a moment of clarity, or just reminded you that you're not alone, would you do me a favor? Share it with a friend or leave a quick review.
00:15:02
Alison Pritchett
It helps other high-achieving moms find this message and feel seen too. And if you're ready to take this work deeper, stay tuned because I have something so exciting in the works.
00:15:14
Alison Pritchett
Follow me on Instagram at thealignedworkingmom and join my email list to be the first to hear. And tune in next week for the next episode. Remember, mom guilt may be common, but it's not meant to be our normal because you were never meant to carry it.
00:15:32
Alison Pritchett
Let peace take the lead instead. Until next time, friends.