Ep 3.13- And There Was Only One Bed!

Transcript

Speaker: I have also, speaking of today's episode, I have two special co-hosts who may or may not come stand on my laptop. We'll see. But I am cat sitting. And so I have two cats who I've known since they were kittens who are hanging out with me. And I was watching Star Wars on the big TV in the house because why not? i was getting ready for the episode, hanging out with the cats. And they were so fucking mad at me because they know that I don't live here. I don't watch TV here.

Speaker: So the only reason that I ever grabbed the TV remote is to put on HD video for birds, nature squirrels, ducks, dogs with HD nature sounds, eight hours, you know, whatever bird TV. So they associate Sam is picking up the remote. Sam is going to put on bird TV for us. And they'll chirp and run and sit on the coffee table and stare at the TV and wait for their show to come on. And today it wasn't their show.

Speaker: They were so upset. ah Oh, my parents came to visit. And so I got to introduce them to Beanie. Yay. What a good squirrel.

Speaker: Just a creature. She's she is so shrimp. Yeah. If you combined a shrimp and a squirrel and gave it an overbite, you would have Beanie.

Speaker: Yeah, it was very cute. She she approved of my mother. think she was skeptical of my dad, but she was sniffed my mom's shoes and then went over and sniffed my mom and then kind of had a moment and then headbetted my mom and did the little like weave around her legs.

Speaker: a beanie classic the beanie classic yeah she doesn't let herself be pet but she will come up and she will aggressively headbutt you yeah she put all her skill points into headbutting she did it's very cute speaking of cats uh grand champion best in dungeon cats Yes. Oh my God. So update from last week or last two weeks ago, last fortnight, I have started reading Dungeon Crawler Carl and turns out it actually is as good as everyone says it is. People evangelize it so hard for a reason.

Speaker: And that reason is that it's good. I have had a lot going on, so I'm not super far into it. It's very fast paced. You could conceivably sit down and blow through just a huge chunk of it at once, but I have been busy and I'm reading the text format on actual paper. So I've just had to take it in little bites. But I was telling you when I saw you earlier, if I'm not reading Dungeon Crawler Carl, I'm thinking about Dungeon Crawler Carl. It's so good. I was driving into the city to meet some friends today to do a little crafting activity. And I thought that I was pretty funny. I sent you a message. New achievement, nine to five. You made it to your destination on time despite city rush hour.

Speaker: Reward, silver commuter box. New achievement. Doorbuster. You arrived at your destination before anyone else in your party. Overeager much? Reward. None, nerd. And that's just how I want to format all my life updates. No, it's pretty fantastic. That was that was well done.

Speaker: I know I can't do the AI voice, but I'm reading the text. So my co-hosts are doing laps up and down the hallway. One of them just attacked the other. Ladies, let's be professional, please. Thank you. This is a studio environment. This is not a studio environment. I am sitting on a kitchen bar stool.

Speaker: Which Jedi do you think would most benefit from like a little cat time? Oh man. I mean, Ahsoka, obviously. At least in these episodes, she gets a friend. She gets a peer.

Speaker: But I think getting a little creature that she's not responsible for. That's not some baby that she has to babysit. Just a little cutie animal to pet. I think that's what she deserves. Ahsoka and Barris need to go on a cat cafe date.

Speaker: Oh, yeah. Oh.

Speaker: and Welcome back to another episode of the Fandom Apprentice. My name is Rin. I'm one of your hosts. I grew up with Star Wars and Lord the Rings and a number of other pieces of nerdy media. And as an adult, I have made it my mission to foist that nerdy media upon my friends who did not have the privilege of growing up with it.

Speaker: That's me. I'm Sam. I'm the other one. I did not grow up with Star Wars, but I think we've made a pretty good dent in it at this point. And we're fairly well on our way through the first, I guess the first bit of the Clone Wars TV series. We watched some of season one, a little bit of season two What are there, like seven seasons?

Speaker: Yes. And not all of them are the same length. Oh, okay, cool. Some of them are like 22 episodes long. And then season five, season season six and season seven are both shorter. Okay.

Speaker: um Season five is like 20 episodes. And then season six and season season seven are both like 12, 13 episodes. Oh, that's interesting. I'll be curious to see how that all plays out and why they're so much shorter.

Speaker: There's a whole lot about that that I think will we'll just have to discuss when we get there. The short version is that Clone Wars was canceled after season five.

Speaker: And then it was like picked up and saved by Netflix for season six and then canceled after season six. And then there was a six year break before season seven was released.

Speaker: Hmm. Okay. So today we are in season two. will And we're pretty linear this time, actually.

Speaker: It's just season two, episodes one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight. Look at us. Don't get used to it, listeners. But today this is your special treat that we are doing a linear narrative. Without even skipping anything. Yeah, it's great. Everything is nice and easy for today. And I don't think we do that again for another like two months.

Speaker: ah So shall we get right into it? Or do you have any other prefacing thoughts? No, I think we can I think we can just get started. Okay, cool. So season two, episode one, Holocron Heist. We watched this together in my apartment. Ahsoka gets put on guard duty for failing to follow orders. Sidious sends some bad guys to steal a Holocron from the Jedi archives.

Speaker: I didn't have a whole heck of a lot to say about this one. I was mostly just a little confused about what a Holocron is supposed to be. Holocron is an information storage device used by force users, both Jedi and Sith.

Speaker: And that seems to be how it's discussed in the episode. But then at the end, they need the holocron to decode a kyber crystal. And then I'm thinking, okay, is this an information storage device or is it a magic decoder ring It seems like this is completely unnecessary for the plot of the episode because there's a list of all the force sensitive children in the galaxy. and It's a big secret list and that's what's on the holocron. But I don't know why or if that information was on the crystal and they needed the holocron to unlock it.

Speaker: very unclear. It was just there to be a thing to get stolen. So thinking about this with just, if if a holocron is a repository of information, what if what if the holocron is like, you know, your microfilm reader?

Speaker: And You have to actually have a particular or no, it might be that like there's a specific holocron and a specific like memory crystal.

Speaker: And in this case for such like super sensitive information, they keep them in separate places. Right. So you have the holocron itself that can read the crystal, which is like your, your floppy disk.

Speaker: Yeah. And you need your thing that can read the floppy disk. But that seems horribly impractical for something like a list of Force-sensitive children that would need to be constantly updated. Because then you have to constantly be reactivating it and adding and subtracting.

Speaker: It doesn't seem like it makes sense for a living document. If you have ancient archival secrets that need to be locked away, maybe, but... I don't know. I just have gripes about the Holocaust. They're very pretty.

Speaker: They look cool. Yeah. We just have to understand that this is MacGuffin. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure why we couldn't have just made the crystal the MacGuffin, but we wanted the heist to steal something from the temple. And then we need two MacGuffins, I guess.

Speaker: The bad guy has a fun cowboy hat. Cad Bane. He's cool. Cad Bane. he is voiced by Corey Burton, who I don't know if we've talked too much about Corey Burton before.

Speaker: He's been in a whole bunch of shit. He is, let's see, he was in Aladdin. He was additional voices in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hercules, Mulan, Tarzan, Princess Mononoke and the English dub, Toy Story 2, Atlantis, The Lost Empire. He was Mole.

Speaker: Oh, okay. Atlantis Milo's Return. He was Zero the Hutt in previous Clone Wars things. who Was in Rocky and Bullwinkle. Who can forget Disney Learning Phonics Quest?

Speaker: Oh, that's a great one. elmo Aardvark, Outer Space Detective. ah Get your work where you can get it. This is not making fun of... These roles, I just like scrolling deep into the weeds of people's IMDb profiles. But this thing just keeps going and going. He has been in everything.

Speaker: A lot of these voice actors just come back over and over and over again. you start looking through things and it's like, oh, they've been background in everything. The the world of the voice actor is super tiny, turns out.

Speaker: Yeah. All of them know each other. Anyway, he's voiced by Corey Burton and he is, he's one of Dave Filoni's favorite characters. Yeah, because spoilers, at the end of this chunk of episodes, I don't think he dies. i think he does get away. No, he escapes. Yeah, so you can tell he's very lovingly made. He's going to be back.

Speaker: Oh, yeah. he's got i mean He's got so much detail on him. Dave Filoni suggests, basically, that Cab Bane exists as an idea that George Lucas has had since the beginning of Star Wars, basically. Hmm.

Speaker: Dave Filoni said, something you notice about george lucas after a while is he'll mention a name like mace windoo in a ninety seventyth threee version of star wars a nineteen seventy three prewrite rough draft and then the character pops up again in ninety ninety nine So this, I guess, might have been an idea George had for the character Cad Bane way back when, and now he's finally getting around to bringing him to the screen in The Clone Wars.

Speaker: Filoni initially wanted to use another bounty hunter that had appeared in, um... the earlier Clone Wars cartoon, there was a 2003 2D animated series of short specials that were released in the run-up to Revenge of the Sith.

Speaker: And so some of those storylines got recycled, so and but not all of them. So Dave Filoni wanted to recycle a character, Dirge, from that character.

Speaker: And George Lucas wanted instead sort of a gunslinger character. And so we get Cad Bane, who our first introduction to him is with the light streaming through the window. It's it's half noir detective half gunslinger Sidious is talking in the background and you almost get the sense that like Sidious has been talking and Bane is just looking dramatic he has to

Speaker: but He is not magic, but he is still he is still the drama. Yes. And that's the beautiful thing about drama is although magic makes you dramatic, you don't have to be magical to be dramatic. And Bane is an excellent example of this. And perhaps we can just kind of slide right into season two, episode two, unless there was more to say about this one. I didn't really have anything else specific for Holocron Heist.

Speaker: I my couple of pieces is at the beginning when we're in the battle one tragically again Koon's voice is doing something for me.

Speaker: Tragically you get first dibs if he becomes real. No because he can't breathe oxygen. True yeah that would be kind of a problem. The gunships that come to rescue them have paintings of Plo's face on them with clone helmets on either side, and they say Plo's bros in Orabesh.

Speaker: Which is very cute. They like him. Yeah, he he's clearly trusted by his men. Anakin has a line at one point when Ahsoka is being chastised by the Jedi Council, and he says that it's his fault, and he goes, because of Ahsoka's advanced abilities, I forgot how young she is. I gave her more freedom than I should have.

Speaker: Also, the Council at Anakin... at Padawans in general, Obi-Wan at Anakin, stop putting those babies on the battlefield. I have so much to say about the things that happen to these babies in these episodes.

Speaker: We see briefly Kit Fisto, who we also see in a later episode in this batch that we're goingnna discuss. And his thing seems to be the blinding smile. Yes, I was going to say he has his cute little grin. Sometimes he does the big smile, but sometimes he just does a little grin, which I think is extremely charming. He's just kind of a happy guy.

Speaker: has a yeah positive demeanor. but even But even the little grin is earth shattering. It's just like dazzling. Yes, it it it is very dazzling. That man flosses regularly.

Speaker: i have a question. Why does the archive not have more security? Why is security just punishment duty for one Padawan? Yeah, I got the feeling that this punishment duty was kind of just symbolic and that the archives didn't actually need guarding.

Speaker: Because it does seem like there's a lot of very intense security measures that wouldn't really require a person to patrol around. And assuming you're not a shapeshifter...

Speaker: You can tell if someone's not a Jedi, you know who's supposed to be in there. So I think I can understand why it wouldn't be super heavily guarded by people.

Speaker: Fair. I got the vibe of this is something you can't possibly fuck up. you know we'll put you in charge of guarding the it's like when you give a kid a really important job so they don't fuck up the actual important job that you're trying to do it's like that they're giving because the who's the lady who's in charge of the archives madam jocasta yeah madam jocasta is saying you know guarding the archives is one of the most important duties a Jedi can have. That's not true. if it was, there would be Jedi guarding it. That's false. You know, it's important for you to maintain the archive and have it be available. But this is obviously a lie and this is a whole stupid farce of a punishment, but whatever.

Speaker: Yeah, guess, yeah, it's meant to be reflective in a reflective location. Yeah, this is a sit and think about what you've done. Yeah, so that brings us to something that, like, the distinction is made in a lot of Legends content. The distinction is not really made in canon content these days.

Speaker: But Ahsoka is a Jedi Guardian. What does that mean? There are three sort of classes of Jedi. There are guardians, consulars, and sentinels.

Speaker: And there's like sort of some other like subtypes, but guardians are fighters. Okay. They are sort of first and foremost like skilled in lightsaber combat, and they focus on like action.

Speaker: Consulars are thinkers. They focus on sort of study of the force. And then sentinels are your multi-class Yeah. But so Ahsoka, as a guardian, is getting sent into consular heaven. um And she's like chomping at the fucking bit to get the fuck back out onto the battlefield.

Speaker: She's not the right subclass for this. No, no, no, no You put the fighter in the wizard place. Yeah, and Madame Jocasta is consular.

Speaker: And then later on when we meet barizofi baris and luminara are counselors that makes sense yeah and like they're much more sort of like cerebral planners thinkers we have everything memorized and ready to go and we follow the plan and the plan will go to the letter and you know anakin and ahsoka are like yeah fast and loose with it it'll it'll work out the way it works out And then the other piece of lore is Bane's specialty is killing Jedi.

Speaker: And his whole getup is designed around killing Jedi. Okay. He's got the breathing tubes, so he can't be force choked. He's got the rocket boots, so he can keep up with, like, force jumps.

Speaker: And he has the Mandalorian gauntlets. Ooh, I didn't notice that. Which, the gauntlet, because he does, like, you know, the... He has the, like...

Speaker: whip that he pulls out, the like with the magnet on the end or something to snatch Ahsoka's lightsaber away. And he's got the like electrodes, extra controls and things that he shoots out of his gauntlets. And they're they're Mandalorian gauntlets. And the Mandalorians are the ultimate Jedi fighters because they've had wars with Jedi in the distant past.

Speaker: And so all of their gear is designed to fight Jedi and to nullify or replicate Force abilities. That's really interesting. And that makes sense.

Speaker: I like this Jedi having natural predators. Talk about balance in the force, baby. Get balanced. Yeah. And so as a bounty hunter, his focus is on hunting down and capturing or killing Jedi.

Speaker: And then the other Jedi bounty hunter moment from this episode, the lightsaber fight between Kato and Ahsoka. Mm-hmm. when Kato is pretending to be Madame Jocasta, you can tell Kato can fight, but you can tell she's not adept at lightsaber combat. Every strike she makes is like way over choreographed. It's very heavy, both hands. And Ahsoka is clearly a better fighter than she is. Not just with lightsabers, just in general.

Speaker: Yeah. You're a standard level 10 fighter and you're facing off against a much, much higher level warrior mage. anyway cargo of doom yes season two episode two cargo of doom anakin and ahsoka try and fail to get bane and the holocron back there's just a lot of trying to get him and escaping and i didn't notice this so much in the first episode but in this episode maybe it was because i have it on the big tv the animation looks very gooey i feel like the motions are very gooey and sort of

Speaker: overly smooth and I didn't know maybe if that was a smoothing effect on the tv but then I was watching it on my laptop as well and it looks kind of the same definitely a difference from season one and I got used to it after a while but it seemed like they were overcompensating for any kind of janky not smoothness to just have everything be super flowy and it was a little bit weird Yeah, it's like that there's some advancements in technology and they're utilizing those advancements in technology. And there's a comment on landing at Point Reign that I think, again, I think it was Filoni because he's the executive producer, was saying like, this is sort of what George's vision was for some of the early Clone Wars stuff. And we just didn't have the technology to do that.

Speaker: But now we do. And they'll sort of keep doing things like that. is every Every season there'll be something that they simply couldn't do before.

Speaker: And now they have the technology to give it a go. And sometimes, you know, it looks good. And sometimes it's like, oh, that's that was probably really, really cool for 2009. There's a lot more particles whenever there's an explosion or a windstorm or something. There's lots more visible bits and things being thrown around because they can render more items and probably have better physics to do it and make it cool. So props to them because they did it. But it was just a noticeable little bit of aging on the animation.

Speaker: I didn't have too, too much on this one other than ah one, we sort of, you know, now it's very clear who hired Bane. Two, I have questions about like, to what extent the Sith are known throughout the galaxy? Because Bane seems familiar with the Sith.

Speaker: And we know that like the Trade Federation is aware of Darth Sidious, but the Jedi don't seem to be. The Jedi don't seem to know. And you know they know that Dooku is Sith, but do they think Dooku is the Sith master and Ventress is his apprentice? like what's the And then you know are the Sith known sort of outside of the criminal element? Does the general world now know about the Sith? you know We've talked about that they were you know the boogeyman.

Speaker: disappeared for a thousand years but now do people know that Dooku is a Sith master because Sidious sometimes is like I'm being very secretive and other times he's just like they're talking to all the Separatist leaders Yeah.

Speaker: Apparently the Sith can't open Jedi holocrons. That's a detail that isn't expressly given. But if they need a Jedi to open the holocron, clearly other Force users can't do that.

Speaker: Oh yeah, I feel dumb for having that not occur to me earlier. h And then Admiral Yularen is aging days for every hour of this war. Yes, I had two related notes about sort of themes in this episode. And one of them is that Yalaren is just so over Anakin. He's over his shit. He's over him failing to do everything that he tries to do. He's saying, did you succeed in your mission? Did you get Bane? No. Did you get the holocron? No.

Speaker: Great. Yes, I see. So the mission was your usual version of success then. If by success you mean I won, then yes. What did you win, Anakin? you You won because the ship blew up? Not really. You didn't actually- so that's not success.

Speaker: Yeah, an explosion does not equal success, Anakin. And there's some other sort of snide remarks that he makes earlier. And is Yelaran the one that you said eventually ends up on the Death Star? Yep.

Speaker: That I feel like... makes it Does he know that Darth Vader is Anakin? You don't have to answer that if that's a spoiler. But that I'm not sure. Because I can see him being very disillusioned with his job and ready to jump ship, as it were.

Speaker: That tracks for me. But oh man, now I love the idea of him not knowing that Darth Vader is Anakin and he just has to take orders from Anakin again. oh that is actually really funny to me. Okay. Okay.

Speaker: similarly the battle droids on Bane's ship really seem to hate his leadership style and question all of his plans and decisions when he's torturing his Jedi prisoner one of them goes not sure how much more this he can take are you a medical droid uh no sir then step back and shut up And then if they kill the fucking Jedi. And the battle droids, at least in this particular ship, are really showing a lot of personality. And I think you have to have some catastrophically bad plans for the battle droids to speak up and say, hey, I think this is a bad plan.

Speaker: I think the piece here is the battle droids are programmed for separatist goals and Bane's goals are not separatist goals. That makes sense. So, you know, Bane has been contracted by the Separatists, but not really. Bane has been contracted by the Sith, who are then using Separatist assets to aid Bane.

Speaker: So then how sophisticated are the battle droids understanding of separatist goals? That's just like a bit more philosophical. I'm sure they have some parameters set that these are our missions and these are people that we like and people that we don't like anything beyond that, who cares? But I like them having to make politically strategic decisions saying, this does not serve the separatist cause. Roger, Roger. That's that is also funny too.

Speaker: Another less serious thing, but just that I was thinking about in this episode as we're watching the Jedi prisoner die from being overly tortured.

Speaker: I want to get my grubby little hands on the Disney style guide. for what we're allowed to show in terms of corpses and cartoon violence because we see a lot of dead bodies we see dead bodies in armor we see straight up corpses in some kids cartoons sometimes there will be death shown in a very abstract way that we only see soldiers in armor falling down Or if a person dies, we don't see their face. We don't see any identifiable parts of them. They're covered by a sheet. Or maybe we see their hand kind of flop. Or we can see people die but not show any grievous injuries. In Clone Wars, we see people occasionally get scratches and cool scars. But whenever we see liquid blood, I don't think we've seen any red liquid blood so far. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there's a bit... later where green liquid blood is a clue and they're like oh wait you're not a clone because that's not clone blood and so I'm very curious about what it is they're allowed to show because there's a lot of just straight up corpses in this show far more so than I expected

Speaker: No, there's a lot of corpses. There's a lot of death. There's a lot of shooting. There's a lot of like, you know, beheadings, but they don't ever show blood. Even when Ahsoka like grabs Bane and is like, you're not a clone.

Speaker: We don't see the cut on him. We just know that he was bleeding and she's clearly seeing the green blood on him, but we don't see the blood on him. Yeah, we don't see bones poking out. We don't see guts. We don't see blood coming out of wounds.

Speaker: No, the thing about blasters and lightsabers is they instantly cauterize wounds. They burn. And so there's no bleeding.

Speaker: Yeah. They kill, but there's no bleeding. So there's a lot of death, but no blood. There's a lot of torture, Yeah. bane can't have a cigarette but he can actively smile while torturing a child yeah and that's fine because ba is a toothpick faoney's made a comment of like that was supposed to be a cigarette And we just weren't allowed to do that.

Speaker: A fun little bit of my family lore, which I guess you could use to dox me if you really were dedicated. But I've mentioned that I have people in my family who've been in the entertainment industry, peripherally, very small roles. But my great-great-grandmother, for a while, a picture of her from her acting days,

Speaker: was on a birthday card that you could get at Target. And I have several of this card because I think it's really funny. And the pose that she's in they have very obviously Photoshopped a cigarette out of her hand.

Speaker: And it's so, so funny to look at. good yes it's If you're just kind of g glancing at it because it's a birthday card and you're not thinking about it that hard, you just go, oh, she's doing kind of a sassy vintage lady pose. But if you're me or a member of my family going, hey, that's great grandma, whatever, it's very obvious that there was a cigarette that they had to edit out.

Speaker: Or like in old photos of Walt Disney where they edit the cigarette out of bunch of pictures of him. It's very weird. And I will have more to say about Senate Spy later. But we do finally get to see Anakin and Padme kiss on the lips. But then there's like weird sexual stuff. There's also no other...

Speaker: Do we see people spit? I'm trying to think if we see any other body fluids. I don't think. no So, I mean, occasionally aliens might produce goo, but that's just vague alien goose. It's not an identifiable human body fluid, but there's not even any poop jokes.

Speaker: Really. This is a show for children without a poop joke. And there's a lot of bodies are gross sacks of stuff and stuff comes out of them. but only in the very specifically palatable ways. But I know that because Disney is a giant company, there has to be just pages and pages of rules of these are explicitly the things that you cannot show.

Speaker: And then maybe you can try to push certain boundaries, but I just, I'm dying to know what those rules are. I'd be really interested because this is pre Disney purchase of Lucasfilm. So who made these original seats? I know we've talked about it, but i forgot.

Speaker: So this was Lucasfilm, and I believe these were on Cartoon Network. Okay, so then you have Cartoon Network rules. You have FCC rules about what you can show. i should have researched this ahead of time. b Duck, duck, go. What have you got for me?

Speaker: Regulations on children's television programming in the United States. This is long and boring. Control F. Blood. Control F.

Speaker: Death, control F, sex, nothing. I think you'd have to read the specific laws, which I am not going to do. Yeah, so this was, yeah, it was released on Cartoon Network through Lucasfilm Animation and then was sold to Disney in 2012.

Speaker: So the first four seasons up through season five were Cartoon Network and Lucasfilm exclusive. And then season six was technically Netflix, but owned by Disney. And season five was also owned by Disney. And then season seven was Disney+. plus I'm going to have to put a pin in that and see if these things change as the seasons go on, if there's anything that different companies were more or less comfortable with showing.

Speaker: But yeah, I notice it. My last comment for this episode, and then we can move on. Yeah. Their outfits in this episode have some really fascinating implications. Because obviously Ahsoka's crop top wasn't pressurized.

Speaker: And so we stuck her in a bodysuit. Yeah. and I was so excited. Because I said, oh my God, she gets a shirt. And then I realized it was just part of her space suit and I was disappointed. Yes.

Speaker: But know what this means is Anakin's robes are apparently pressurized. Because Anakin's outfit doesn't change.

Speaker: Yeah. Also, Ahsoka's bodysuit is the same shade as her crop top usually is, which is just far too close to her skin tone.

Speaker: I did also find that quite weird. There's another scene later on in one of the last episodes in this batch where she's in like a medical bay bed and she has a blanket tucked up to her armpits. But because of her tube top, it just makes it look like she's not wearing a shirt. It's weird. I don't like it.

Speaker: Anyway, Children of the Force. Yes. Children of the Force. Sidious needs Bane to kidnap children so he can turn them into force slaves. The Jedi get to the place where the children are being held just in time to rescue the babies and the holocron, but Bane gets away again.

Speaker: Yes. Sidious tells Bane to kidnap four children and bring them to Mustafar. And Bane is like, you're just kidnapping children. That seems kind of small time for the likes of you. but It's like Sidious just called them test subjects. And Bane is kind of like, eh, long as I get paid, ah don't care.

Speaker: You know, ah I'll do evil shit. One of the children is a Gungan. So it does mean that there will eventually be a Bombad Jedi. Which I was so mad. So the Jedi Council uses their combined powers to go, okay, children are being kidnapped. Let's force sense the children and see which ones are in danger.

Speaker: And so Anakin finds one on Naboo and... They go and they meet Captain Typho, I think, and somebody else. And there is a Gungan leader, Captain Lunker.

Speaker: They introduce him by his name. And then Ahsoka says, I want to help with the mission. And Anakin says, go with the Gungan. They just said his name. They just said Captain Lunker two seconds ago. Why not go with Captain Lunker? Why is he just the Gungan?

Speaker: rude i may hate jar jar binks but i do not hate all gungans i think that was unnecessary and ahsoka's mad she's saying that she's got a score to settle why is this so personal for her is it just because she's let him get away so many times or was there another element that i was missing he kidnapped and bested her and then tortured her and threatened to kill her yeah so that would be that'd be pretty personal But revenge is not the Jedi way.

Speaker: I guess. This is sort of another, like, Ahsoka's recklessness that we see in these couple of episodes is, ah as Anakin points out, a reflection back on him o and raises more red flags for his own eventual fate.

Speaker: Yeah. In the scene directly before. So in the second episode, Bane takes ah the silka beads, the Padawan braid from Ahsoka's head. So the silka beads are the Padawan braid for species that don't have hair.

Speaker: Yeah. And he takes that from her. And so she takes it back from him in this episode. And in the scene right before she takes them back, she's wearing the beads as she's confronting him.

Speaker: that's a little continuity error. Oops. We have a little note again of Anakin's sort of corruption and and in or like influence by the Chancellor because the Chancellor wants to report and Windu and Obi-Wan are like, it's Jedi business. He doesn't need to know.

Speaker: Anakin goes, we're acting as a military for the Republic. So we're answerable to the Chancellor and we need to tell him things. Yeah.

Speaker: Which one? Correct. The Jedi are no longer, it shows us the Jedi aren't independent. The Jedi have no independence any longer. They are an arm of the Republic military. And we are just openly acknowledging it.

Speaker: Uh-huh. And then two, it shows us that Anakin is the Chancellor's creature. Yeah. The babies kidnapped by Sidious are to undergo a surgical procedure, apparently. Yeah, it's the slave conditioning procedure, which is pretty pretty fucked up.

Speaker: And they're these are little Goo Goo Gaga babies being taken from their cribs. This is not kids, not that that would make it any better, but these are baby babies. So they're not even going to be able to do anything for a while, which then also raises the question, how did they get on this list? i don't know, but...

Speaker: I think it's, you know, like they were identified as having the force. And so the list exists ah as a will return to them when they're old enough. You can't take a puppy from its mother before it's eight weeks old. Same thing.

Speaker: Is this something where, because we've talked about there being, you know, less than one Jedi per planet or whatever the Jedi Earth. kind of rare, even in this era where there's a lot of them.

Speaker: Are people reporting this to Jedi? Do they just have scouts going around looking for Force-sensitive kids? How is this list maintained? Probably little column A, little column B. Like, the Force resonates.

Speaker: So I think, you know, so in... In some ways, like if there's a Jedi in the area, that they might feel the Force. Or sometimes, you know, if your baby starts to be able to do unexplained shit, like levitate things, you might be like, what the fuck is that about?

Speaker: yeah And ask around and somebody's like, oh, yeah, Jedi. Yeah. And Bane is doing extra fucked up, disguising himself as a Jedi, saying, yeah, there are bad guys disguised as Jedi kidnapping children. So give me your child. And the parents go, they're too young. And then he takes them anyway.

Speaker: So that's fucked up. But also, there's no way these parents are giving their kids to the Jedi Temple once they're old enough, right? That is the most traumatic possible experience. Even after they meet the real Jedi, saying that guy was an imposter, I'm glad your kid is okay. There's no way these parents are letting their kids out of their sight.

Speaker: Well, then there's the the piece of now you know someone is after your kid. And is that going to change when they get to be older?

Speaker: Move to another planet, change your name, hire a Jedi tutor. I'm not sending them to the fucking temple if that's my baby. i I want to highlight one line that Sidious says, which is, I foresee an army of force-talented spies in my service, trained in the dark side to peer into every corner of the galaxy from afar, and my enemies would be helpless against such vision.

Speaker: And we'll just leave that one there, and that'll come up again ah later. There's also a little force thing Glee Anselm is what I think maybe the first baby the little i don't know what they're called little newt newt guys the mouth yeah yeah the The one that Kit Fisto is? No, different.

Speaker: Or maybe. I don't fucking know. Anyway, Gleanselm is one of the kids. Gleanselm is the planet where the Nautilins are on. And then, yeah, the... God, what's Greedo's alien type?

Speaker: Greedo is Rodian on Rodia. Yeah, yeah. So whichever... Beside the point. One of the kids is taken and is now shrouded by the dark side so the Jedi can't see his fate.

Speaker: Which is interesting. So this is another force thing that if you are taken in by the dark side, you can no longer be perceived in the same way with the force, which is interesting.

Speaker: There's also a new force trick where everyone tries to use the force to probe Bane's mind together. And there's apparently a chance of destroying his mind in the process But they do it anyway, which I mean, I don't really know what the ethics are in that situation, but they they have to try something. There aren't. That's that's hilariously unethical.

Speaker: Yeah. it's just Let's just let's do some experimental torture. Yeah. And it it like it's clearly hurting him. Yeah. Anyway, we rescue the babies.

Speaker: Ahsoka and Anakin figure out where they are. Their nurse droids are pink because they're nurse droids. They're taking care of babies. So of course they're pink. That made me mad. But they're evil pink.

Speaker: Evil pink. So they're not a nice shade of pink, but still. I thought they were they were like grayish and it was just maybe like the red light of things. I don't know. I don't know. Whatever the the end effect was that they were they were a pinkish hue.

Speaker: And the rescue was kind of funny because the whole facility is... self-destructing and about to fall into a pit of lava. So not only are we rescuing babies from being captured, we're also rescuing them from falling into lava, which is just extra comical and fun.

Speaker: And now I have to emotionally fall into lava because we have to talk about Senats Fi. Okay, so this is what I said for my... little logline.

Speaker: The most sexually charged yet weirdly chased episode yet. Plot? Who cares? Padme has to seduce her ex for state secrets. You told me that you were excited to hear my thoughts on this episode.

Speaker: ohio Boy, howdy. I had a lot to say in all caps. Some of my notes are in the notes document. Some of my more valuable impressions are in our DMs.

Speaker: ah where do we fucking start where do we fucking start with state secrets or state sentence by whatever i'm so angry so anakin and pad so it opens with anakin and padme having this romantic asterisk reunion on this beautiful terrace balcony thing it's so nice anakin has a dish or plate of something i thought it was a like a box of chocolates. Apparently it's takeout.

Speaker: And I think it's like a bento box, essentially. Yeah. Padme is going, okay, C-3PO, you're dismissed. Get the fuck out of here, 3PO. And he goes, are you sure? I was like, yeah, 3PO gets sexiled.

Speaker: Yeah. 3PO's getting kicked out immediately. to Pick the cat up and put it outside the room. Anakin presents this takeout box and Padme goes like how did you manage this girl it's takeout what do you mean how did he manage it they finally kiss on the lips she grabs his tit but then they chastely sit next to each other on the couch and just kind of hold hands in this pose that I wish I could describe it's shoulder to shoulder

Speaker: next to each other hands clasped in the middle raised a little bit it feels like they should be in i don't know a soap commercial or something it's very after this intense like oh they kiss she's grabbing his tit it's very passionate and now we're just gonna sit next to each other and hold hands Yeah.

Speaker: We're supposed to know that they're gonna fuck. Uh-huh. Like, we all know they're gonna fuck until Anakin gets pulled away. i need to find the quote about how Morticia and Gomez Adams were written that was something about the direction for the writing being, listen, we can't show them fucking, but we need to imply through every means possible that they can and do fuck constantly and will the moment the camera pans away.

Speaker: ah It was something to that effect of the raw sexual power that needs to be exuded by these two characters is undeniable. Even if we can't show it, we know and the audience knows.

Speaker: And this is just the weirdest approximation of that. note The look that they give each other as soon as Anakin walks into the room and 3PO gets sexiled. And it's like, oh, they are going to pound town.

Speaker: right the fuck now. And you have cursed me with the definitely true knowledge that Anakin makes her call him Master Jedi in bed because you know he does. You know the robe stays on. ah And it's a whole thing.

Speaker: oh my God. And so apparently this episode has a plot and there's a guy, Senator Clovis, and he's in cahoots with the trade federation because ah he's a finance bro and he's Padme's ex. And so she needs to seduce him to get his secrets. And these two, Anakin and Padme, they have a fucking atrocious work-life separation, which you'd think because that's their whole thing.

Speaker: is work-life separation because they have their whole secret marriage. They are loudly talking about their business in crowded hallways, in the Senate chambers.

Speaker: Which are built to echo. Yeah. The Senate chambers are designed to reflect sound. And don't tell me that senators are not constantly bugging each other's little pod things. you know I would not treat that as a private space.

Speaker: They have a giant fight about whether or not Anakin will let Padme do this spying. She doesn't want to spy on another senator, which is understandable. But she also hasn't apparently been given all the information.

Speaker: And she finds out. that Clovis is likely working with the Trade Federation. she goes, okay, this changes things. If I had been in the loop, maybe I would have been on board from the beginning.

Speaker: But it's just in this over-the-top domestic dispute. And he's trying to tell her what she's allowed to do. And she's going, fuck you, you're not my dad or daddy. This is stupid and toxic. And also everyone is right there.

Speaker: So here's the fun thing with the Jedi Council being like, we need Padme to spy on this guy, to seduce this dude to spy on him. And we know that they used to sleep together.

Speaker: Yeah, because we know these things. But she doesn't want to do it. So we know that she and Anakin are close. And Obi-Wan knows that they're that they're fucking. Yeah.

Speaker: But Obi-Wan can't say that to everybody else. But everybody else in the council knows that Anakin and Padme are close. And so, like, Anakin can just convince her. That's...

Speaker: yeah Yeah, convince convince her to go seduce this dude when she expressly is like, yes, we used to be close. I ended things. And she expressly goes, he didn't take it well.

Speaker: she and In that like, little pause of like, i don't know how many men we have that listen to this podcast, but the way she says that there's a, you know, she's talking about him and then there's the, you know, she says Shiana thinks and then there's a pause and then he didn't take it well.

Speaker: That, that is your, you know, warning to every other woman listening, stay the fuck away from this man.

Speaker: Yeah, this is not he was sad about it. It's this was years ago and she's still his password, his secret hologram thing. And she's trying a bunch of different passwords. And the only thing that works is her own name. if I found out that a man that I had been involved with that long ago had anything about me as a password to any of his stuff, I would be so grossed out.

Speaker: It's, he's very obviously obsessed with her. It's weird. And because they can't say seduce him because this is still a kid's show. She's being told to quote, rekindle your friendship unquote.

Speaker: And I can't write down every single innuendo in this episode because that would have just taken my whole day. But she's constantly looking at him and going, I didn't realize how lonely I was until tonight. And just all of this ridiculous over the top, you know, I believe in second chances. it's It's ridiculous. He needs only the barest suggestion of that diplomatic coochie and he is falling all over himself.

Speaker: And lucky for him, in the chambers that they take them to, there's only one bed. But the bed has four pillows on it. Not like a hotel bed where you might have pillows kind of stacked so you can adjust to your preferred pillow density and you know maybe lean back on them if you want to sit up on bed no these are four pillows side by side which implies something about how they expect this bed to be used and for those of us who were here for our murder bot season it's giving preservation hotel with the bed big enough for four people but only one towel in the bathroom there's so much there's so much i just yeah

Speaker: I was reading so a lot of this is like, one, they can't say certain things because it's a kid's show. And two, they aren't going to say some things because you can't just tell this woman to seduce this man.

Speaker: It's a, you know, get information out of him because we know that he cares about you. We're going to imply that this is what you can do, but that's not your only route. So that way later on, you can't come back and be like, the Jedi Council made me sleep with this man.

Speaker: Yeah. She can't file a Title IX complaint against the Jedi. Yeah. Anakin is just... they're They're just playing insane jealousy games with each other. And straight people are not okay. And this straight couple especially is not okay.

Speaker: And like they're not even getting off on it. This isn't even like a kink thing for them. This is just... They're just fighting to fight. Whatever the anti-cuck version is. What is the opposite?

Speaker: I don't know. This is breaking my brain. um pat yeah Padme is in one of her turn him down dresses. This fuck ass dress. Okay.

Speaker: So she makes what is supposed to be this beautiful dramatic princess entrance down the stairs in the pretty gown like in every movie ever. Except There is this weird discordant music playing.

Speaker: And this is the most hideous dress I have ever imagined. It has kind of a breastplate on the front. It's not connected to the back. It's connected to the bottom, but there's no lacing or anything. It's strapless and backless.

Speaker: There's sleeves, but there's no connection to the sleeves. So they're just gloves. Yeah, and the sleeves also have this big cutout, sort of like a cold shoulder style, but it goes all the way to the wrist.

Speaker: It's very ugly. It looks very uncomfortable. It looks like if she sneezes, a tit is going to pop out. So presumably there's some fashion tape holding it on.

Speaker: I was like, how is this staying up? Like, yeah, is this sticky? Like, what the fuck? And it just emphasizes... her weird cartoonish, because she is a cartoon, proportions that just makes her look skeletally thin. It's like a Jack Skellington eerie. Like, she doesn't look beautiful. She looks unwell. And obviously this is an uncomfortable moment and she's about to be poisoned and it's about to be very dramatic. But...

Speaker: I don't think it was uncomfortable in the way they intended for it to be uncomfortable. I think it's just a bad dress. Also, Clovis is, again, we've we've talked about the fact that Lot Dodd is the senator for the Trade Federation, and the Trade Federation is separate from Cato-Nemoidia.

Speaker: But here we're on Cato-Nemoidia. So, you know, how much control does the Trade Federation have over the Cato-Nemoidian government? How much control does the Borent Corporation have over the Kuatine government?

Speaker: how much i was like wait a second that's not this that's a different thing that's dutch and caller carl keeping me on my toes and i'm paying attention and uh because uh clovis is the senator for scipio and the banking clan which the banking clan or scipio is supposedly not involved or with the separatists maybe maybe this is the introduction of them getting involved with the separatists because there's droids in i think technically i think that we've already seen the hail fire droids that are banking clan battle droids we might not have seen them yet maybe they come in later but again just corporations having their own senators as fucked up and or corporations being their own planetary governments

Speaker: you Fun. He also just sounds like he's explaining crypto when he's talking about, you know, I've made some very sound investments. And obviously he's alluding to his secret dealings with the Trade Federation. But it just sounds like every man trying to explain something about the economy. I have had people volunteer to have their boyfriends explain the stock market to me.

Speaker: And I've had to go, there is nothing I want less in the world than for your boyfriend to explain the stock market to me. I don't know. Maybe this is an enrichment activity for them. But it's like how this is my new proposal.

Speaker: Have I talked in the podcast about how I want the manosphere to do things for me? No. You haven't even talked to me about this off podcast. Okay. So maybe this is something I've just talked to Miles about. This is one of my bits that I do because I'm an insufferable bit doer where I think that I should be allowed to submit ideas to the manosphere and have them catch on. So things like flossing. I'm very pro-flossing, not the dance, the thing for your teeth. I think everyone should floss. You've got to get the manosphere influencers on that. You will become a giga chad if you floss. Another thing that I think that the manosphere should do is getting people to use their turn signals and saying, you know, how can you turn on a woman if you can't even turn on your turn signal? You can't be a high value male if you're dead. So use your turn signal and practice good road safety. Now, these are just things i think I should be allowed to submit. And so I have another one to submit to the Manosphere. So software engineers have the rubber duck thing. Are you familiar with this?

Speaker: I am very familiar with the rubber duck thing. I explain that to people all the time. Having to do this for your line of work. So listeners, if you somehow are the type of person who listens to this podcast and don't know this,

Speaker: Software engineers will explain their code to a rubber duck because talking out loud helps you kind of think through your problems and figure out the issue with your code. And more to the point, rubber ducks know nothing about coding. And so you have to explain it very, very simply from the very beginning.

Speaker: Exactly. And if you get really mad, you can throw it. It'll be fine. So I think that crypto bros need something similar that they can, because they have a natural urge. It's that it's like how you have to give...

Speaker: birds toys to shred to like express their instincts the crypto bros need to explain crypto so you need to give them like a little doll that they can explain crypto to and then they can get it out of their system and then other human beings don't have to hear it i think the manosphere they can work with me on this maybe it can be like a cereal box prize but it comes in a thing of protein powder This is, those should come with prizes, actually. Okay, yeah. So basically, I have a lot of ideas for the manosphere, because I know I can't change everything.

Speaker: But I hope in my heart that because I am a woman, maybe i could just get a couple little ideas in there and just move the needle a a little it but that has absolutely nothing to do with this i just find this guy so fucking annoying yeah he sucks um but he manages to show his hand both to padme that he's working with the separatists and to lot dod that he's trying to save Padme.

Speaker: And so Anakin leaves him behind on the planet to answer to Lot Dodd. And ah sucks to be him, I guess. Yeah.

Speaker: But the clone factory that they're discussing here, yes, is ah the centerpiece of our next several episodes on Geonosis. Yeah. so season two, episode five landing at Point Reign.

Speaker: Lots of shooting on Geonosis. That's basically it. There's Master Mundi, the guy with the big head, is there. He's nice. I like the desert armor, but that's honestly, i only have one like actual plot related thing for this episode, but it's mostly just shooting.

Speaker: Yeah. I mean, what's your plot related thing? That Anakin and Ahsoka have a little competition to see who's getting the most kills of the Geonosians, which another callback for those of us who are here for Lord of the Rings, this can be a fun thing in battle. But tonally, it felt very jarring.

Speaker: for the show because it's not, you know, how many, how many clankers did you blow up? It's how many did you kill my 14 year old pad one? How many lives have you ended today? Jedi valuing life and trying to resolve things nonviolently. Fuck that. How many kills you got? I got the most. It just felt really weird.

Speaker: But it is droids. It is. They are specific because they come in talking about they took out a number of droids. And then the two of them, we don't see the two of them really fighting Genosians.

Speaker: Okay. Because they use the word kill. And that's what I think maybe threw me off. Fair, yeah, but the two of them are specifically talking about droids. Kiari Mundi, however, who wins the competition, is talking about Geonosians because he does fight the Geonosians.

Speaker: A lot of them get burned alive, which speaking of horrible violence, we see that in great detail. Yeah, with flamethrowers, which I had to look up.

Speaker: It is not a war crime per se to use flamethrowers against military targets. It is a war crime to use incendiary weapons against civilians or in scenarios where you can't control what happens to the flames.

Speaker: Because if you set things alight and then that spreads and causes extra harm, yeah, flamethrowers are fucked up weapons. Yeah, I can't really think of any reason why they would need to exist besides just kind of being a fucked up weapon.

Speaker: They're used as like tools to clear brush, but yeah, they're they're fucked up. a Couple of fun points from this this episode that I enjoyed.

Speaker: Kenobi's gunship, ah all the gunships have nose art. Which is very, very fun. And most of them have Orobesh on them. And Kenobi's gunship has a Nexu carrying a bomb on it.

Speaker: And the Orobesh on the bomb says, Bad Kitty. Which is what the animators called the Nexu in Attack of the Clones. Yeah. There's also a bad kitty gunship that lands with Cody before Kenobi gets down. So maybe it's just a thing for the 212th to have bad kitty gunships, or maybe it was a continuity thing.

Speaker: Kiari Mundi's gunship has a clone helmet painted to look like a skull, and it says Separatist Nightmare. Ooh, edgy. And there's also apparently one that has a clone with a scythe, and it says Grim Reaper.

Speaker: ah One of the pilots at one point tells the soldiers to have fun down there, which is very welcome to paradise, rock jumpers. And Rex is also aging ah from being in proximity to Anakin because...

Speaker: Anakin and Ahsoka scale this giant wall to go blow it up. And, you know, Rex is on the ground and is not, like, directed to come follow them. But he does because he knows that this is not going to go as planned.

Speaker: He clearly, like, at one point, like, he's leading the troops on the ground who are drawing fire and shooting up at the wall. And he sees the two Jedi on top of the wall and tells one of the other troopers, like, concentrate your fire on those droids. And then he takes off running.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. He knows they'll need to be managed. And it's like, he's like, oh I gotta to go save these motherfuckers. And then when they blow up the wall, Ahsoka and Anakin, they just dump explosives inside the wall, which like, sure, I guess that'll blow up a section, but I guess you could have kind of done that from the outside, but whatever. Yeah.

Speaker: It's not like placed or anything, but then they toss Rex up in the air with the force. Yeah. So that they can then jump and catch him before he falls, before he hits the ground.

Speaker: And Rex is screaming as he's falling. He lands and just goes, and goes next time, just tell me to jump. And Anakin, who is all jazzed about this, goes, now where's the fun in that?

Speaker: They play with this man like a toy. However much he's getting paid, it's not enough. And also, i think the clones probably don't get paid, but that's too sad to think about. No, I don't think they get paid. i don't think... a And then lastly, at the end of the battle, Ahsoka and Anakin are comparing their totals.

Speaker: And Ahsoka wins, but Anakin says they have to call it a draw because he called in the airstrike. And then Kiari Mundi says that his total was higher. goes, so what do I win? Anakin stops for a minute and then goes, my everlasting respect, Master Mundi, and bows.

Speaker: And Kiari Mundi goes, oh... Like very disappointed. But then Obi-Wan tries to back Anakin up and go, hey, this is not a prize he gives out very often. So this is actually a pretty good prize.

Speaker: But just for a second, he thought he would get a prize, which as someone who's motivated by prizes, I feel that, Master Mundi. Side tangent about prizes. I talked about summer reading last episode. We are still in the summer as of recording. We are still summer reading.

Speaker: My library has an all ages summer reading thing. So everyone gets the same little worksheet to fill out and there's different prizes if you're a kid, a teen, or an adult. So I go to the library. I have my little worksheet. I'm ready for my first prize. I hand it to the librarian. I say, hey, I have summer reading thing to get stamped. And she looks at me and she says...

Speaker: are you an adult? Devastating. And I was wearing a mask, but also i was wearing a shirt with the word dyke on it with the sleeves cut off and a big visible tattoo on my, I think for a second of looking at me, you could tell that I'm an adult. I, I know that i look a little bit young, but I think that i i look like a grownup, but that was very humbling.

Speaker: So, but I got my little, notebook and a pen shaped like a cactus so it was worth it because i love a prize oh weapons factory season two episode six ahsoka makes a friend she and another padawan barris offi infiltrate the droid factory while the jedi cause a distraction and they try to cope with their students inevitable deaths m there's some real tone shifts there's in this episode there's more girls master and Julie is here and Varys Afi is her pad one and they're there to provide some reinforcements and it's very obvious that this is being set up to contrast their whole vibe and their master pad one relationship with whatever is going on with Anakin and Ahsoka

Speaker: anakin and ahsoka's fucked up little sibling relationship here anakin is such a man in this episode yeah say more on that he just keeps interrupting ahsoka and you know implying she can't do the job and and while she's saying you're interrupting me please stop that he interrupts her To say, oh, I just want it done right. She says, so you think I can't do it right?

Speaker: And it's just really obnoxious. It's really annoying. But then then we are introduced to Barris and Luminara. And on the one hand, I don't want to be like shipping every whatever.

Speaker: Oh, are we going to talk about how these girls are in love? ah The lingering look between these two instantly. I was like, these are baby gays. Oh yeah. No. When they, okay. So fast forward to whatever the plot of the episode, who cares? They have to go down into catacombs and Barris is great. And she's very type A and she's memorized the whole map of the catacombs because she's perfect little Padawan. She's so great. And so they're going on a little adventure and they steal a super tank and very bravely and extremely tragically bring the entire factory down on top of them with the assumption that they are sacrificing themselves and they will die. Luckily, the super tank is impervious to all weapons somehow, so they're fine inside it. They wake up amidst the rubble inside their super tank, and the first thing that I think when I see them down there in their little pod, you know, maybe gonna die, is I feel like one of them should say, hey...

Speaker: You want to try some gay stuff? It just seems like the time. It's like the time. And they very quickly form a bond and it's cute, but it's, they're, they're in love and I will ship it because I think it's adorable.

Speaker: I don't want to be like, yeah, this this new Master and Padawan show up and I immediately ship them with the main crew. But Barriss and Ahsoka are baby gays. That lin that like lingering look at the beginning and when they're in the super tank at the end, Barriss is like, you know, I don't want to starve to death down here. And Ahsoka goes, don't worry, we'll run out of air long before we starve.

Speaker: That's a comforting thought. Thanks. And they hold hands. Yeah! The look at the very beginning and the way Ahsoka is interacting with Barriss the whole time, I was like, you just had a realization about yourself the moment she walked up and you're not sure how to handle it.

Speaker: Yeah, she's like trying to impress her and be cool and funny. And yes, platonic affection is a thing. We are famously big fans of it. But in this case, in this case, I think there's a gay awakening happening and it's really just cute. And it's nice.

Speaker: In this case, we have both been 14 year old bisexuals and had that. Oh, wait a second. I don't know what I'm feeling, but I'm feeling something. Yeah. Have I said on the podcast how when I was 14-year-old bisexual, i sort of eased my way into... I thought that I was being clever. Easing my way into coming out by being like, yeah, I'm like 80% straight. And that percentage just decreasing over time.

Speaker: That this is a real thing that I said to my friends with total sincerity... And thought that this was a good, solid approach.

Speaker: No, i I was just bisexual the whole time. And then in the adult version of this, I was getting big flirting vibes from ah Luminara at Anakin.

Speaker: Really? was big flirting vibes. I felt like couldn't stand each other. i need to rewatch it with that lens. Well, you know, I think Anakin is like...

Speaker: oh my god she's annoying and luminar is like oh my god he's annoying i want to fuck his brains out yeah actually i can see it like yeah they're jedi luminar is like no i don't want anything major i just want to finish this battle ride this man into the sunset and then go about my day well he does do a lot of thinking with his lightsaber as obi-wan says in a later episode in this batch Yeah. which well He doesn't mean it as an innuendo then, but I heard it and went, yeah, he does. Yeah, no, I think what Luminar is feeling is just a sexual version of like cuteness aggression of like, yeah like and I hate you. I'm just going to fuck you. And then, okay, then I'll be done. I'll go home.

Speaker: Never talk to me again. I'm having trouble for whatever reason pasting these into our chat and I'll i'll show you these like these pictures later but it's it's one at the at the start of their sort of march up to the factory he says something about you know as long as we can destroy them faster than they can make them we'll come out on top and she goes I love your simple logic Skywalker With a look. And i that was the moment of like the look she gives him there. i I was reading the, yeah, you know what? He'd be a really good, simple fuck.

Speaker: Yeah. Like after this is all done, you know, that seems like a really good way to get some stress out. He is athletic. Uh-huh. Got that going for him.

Speaker: And then after they do the ridiculous fucking planting bombs on the underside of the bridge thing. Yes, which is the part that I was thinking, yeah, what's we're going to have to say about this? do you want to describe what they're how they're doing this?

Speaker: Okay, so they take bombs, they put them in backpacks on their back, and then they go and swing under this stone bridge. So like there's not really even anything underneath to grip onto.

Speaker: And they swing along like they're on the fucking monkey bars and are dangling by one arm while they reach into their backpacks and pull out bombs to then plant on the underside and they swing along the entire length planting their bombs.

Speaker: But again, because it's this is rock and there's probably not a whole lot to grip onto, they're probably doing all of this like like fucking crimps. Like these are probably all like crimp holds or like pinchers.

Speaker: the these, they are holding themselves up and swinging themselves along by like pinching the rock and the force just simply isn't fair.

Speaker: Yeah. And the two of them at the end of this, I have two screen caps and I'll send them to you in in a little bit, where they swing up off the bridge at the end, they blow up the bridge and then the two of them look at each other and the like angling of their bodies, their It's like ah they're about to run into each other's arms and kiss passionately.

Speaker: Like if this were any other people, that is what I would expect to happen. It was a high stress situation. You know, there's a rush of endorphins. I can see it. Yeah. If Anakin wasn't force besotted with Padme Amidala in the most unhealthy fucking relationship ever, these two would make out on the fucking battlefield.

Speaker: Anyway, Legacy of Terror, because they destroy the droid factory, but this is not over. Legacy of Terror, the Jedi have to fight zombies. The kids get to go home, which is nice. They should be allowed to. they think they've done enough.

Speaker: Obi-Wan shows up to do some cleanup. And the guy we're searching for is Poggle the Lesser, which is very silly name. And so Unduli wants to track him down at the risk of getting lost in this big scary sandstorm. And she follows him to a creepy temple and gets captured by some zombies that are being controlled by a hive mind.

Speaker: And there's a queen. And the word that I would use to describe the hive mind queen is Bungle. bulbous so imagine that listeners and then i think once they meet the queen that's when the interesting stuff starts happening yeah so the queen is in pro gate temple which kiari mundi says could not have survived the munitions they used in the first attack which attacking religious sites is a war crime Just for our list.

Speaker: And then, again, i don't... ah I could read this as flirting, because I think we can read anything anybody says to Obi-Wan as flirting. But also, I think we can read this as a really great description of Luminara's character.

Speaker: Just make sure to leave a little bit of strategic planning for me when I come back, Master Kenobi. I'd hate to feel left out. Strategic planning is what the kids are calling it these days, apparently. Apparently.

Speaker: We could read that as flirting, but also since I've been reading her flirting with Anakin for the whole last episode, I won't. I'm instead reading that as like, this is, that's the kind of person she is.

Speaker: She likes her plans. She doesn't actually want to be doing this fieldwork bullshit. Yeah. But she is very dedicated to her job. So she's going to do the job. She's going to do it right. And she's going to get it done so she can finally come back and move her pieces around the fucking chessboard. Yeah.

Speaker: There's a lot of banter that happens in this scene because Luminara's strung up in the Jedi suspension bondage thing that everyone seems trapped in all the time.

Speaker: And Obi-Wan's just saying a bunch of bullshit about how the Queen's rule is at an end and she needs to submit to Republic law. And I'm going, okay... what there's no way she's going to listen to you do you expect this to work and then i realized he was stalling so cody and the other clones can come in and do a big attack but it took me a while to realize that that's what was happening and they reveal the queen reveals that there's these little worms that crawl inside your brain baldur's gate style

Speaker: That is how she controls her hive mind. And she wants to put one in Luminara. And Obi-Wan just... Part of his bluff is that he just wants to see what happens. And he's talking to Anakin and going, come on now, the nose of the air, which do you think it'll enter? And then Anakin just sighs and goes, i think the nose. He's just, a yes, and. yet I think that Obi-Wan could be friends with Gale from Baldur's Gate.

Speaker: Oh my god, yes. Because he gets mad that Anakin kills a parasite because he wanted to study it. they i They're the same character. confirmed Gale wife. Gale was the first person I romanced in Baldur's Gate.

Speaker: Yeah, they're the same. They're British. They're nerds. i say They have fluffy hair. they look like each other. Yeah, I think I just like smart, competent men with medium length hair and robes. And a well-kempt beard. Yeah.

Speaker: Men take note. there's Sam's husbands take note. When do you finally get to fuck Gail in Baldur's Gate, you have two choices. you can He's like, I can wow you with my magic. And you can either go, no, it's okay, Gail. I love you just the way you are. We can have normal sex. And I was like, no, I did not play this entire game just to have normal sex with the Gale Dacarius. Show me the weird magic stuff. And then there's astral projecting and everybody has multiple bodies in the start. Like, yeah, that's that's what I picked you for, Gale.

Speaker: You know what's expected. As opposed to Halston, where you're you have the option of exit stage left fucked by bear. Anyway, yeah, they...

Speaker: Collapse the temple on top of the queen, which for all they know is Genosian genocide. Yeah, damn. Because if they if they are under the impression that the Genosians are eusocial species and this is their queen for all of Genosia and this is where she lays all of her eggs...

Speaker: It is entirely possible that by killing her, they have destroyed all chance of the genotians continuing.

Speaker: Yeah, geez. I mean, in most eusocial species, if the queen dies, then they can, you know, convert a worker into a queen.

Speaker: but But we don't know that. We just found out about the queen today. they don't know anything. ye Yep. So, you know, just fun, fun things there.

Speaker: you know It's possible that there is more than one queen. This is not the only hive, whatever. it's It's a little fucked up. Also, i have questions about the parasite worms versus...

Speaker: the eggs because the eggs are about the size of a human baby for like a normal genotion but then there's the worms themselves which are in their own little eggs are those like a different kind are those also birthed by the queen or like what's the i i have questions about sort of the biology of that but do we want to talk about brain invaders because that's our last episode we have to talk about Yes. So this is another episode, season two, episode eight, Brain Invaders, where supplies need to be moved from point A to point B and Anakin doesn't want to do it. So the Padawans are in charge of the supply run. The entire medical transport that they're on gets infected with brain worms and Ahsoka has to deal with it pretty much on her own.

Speaker: Yeah, so the brain worms, one of the brain worms infects ah a clone, Scythe, who then brings a bunch more of the brain worms onto the ship and infects everybody. Again, we don't know how these worms reproduce, so we don't know if this is like...

Speaker: their like terminal host here. So they couldn't like reproduce in the clones. So, you know, whether or not this is like, when, when Ahsoka manages to get the message out that everybody on the ship besides her, including Barris are infected with mind controlling worms,

Speaker: There's concern that if they dock with the medical the medical station, that they could infect everybody on the station. i guess, one, they don't know how many worms are on the ship, and two, they don't know how the worms reproduce. So that's a concern. Yeah. cern But if this is a terminal host for these ah for these worms, like they can't reproduce in humans or muralians, which is what Barris is, miri or mirialans.

Speaker: Mirialans? Fuck, that that name is going to throw me. Doesn't matter. M-I-R-I-A-L-A-L. yeah Yeah, I got no clue. Yes. So whether or not, you know the if the worms can reproduce can't reproduce in human or near human species, then they're limited to what they've brought with them.

Speaker: Not sure. But I guess, ah you know, they don't necessarily know. The Jedi don't know. And so that is the concern. I have a couple of notes from this. Yeah. One, we have official confirmation from this episode that Jedi sleep with their knives under their pillows. Yeah.

Speaker: I noticed that. I was thinking, is it just Ahsoka? But then it pans over to Barriss and she also has her lightsaber under her pillow, which I thought was very funny. Yep. Which I have to wonder, is that like something all Jedi do or do Jedi, you know, in the temple have like a nightstand that they stick it on, stick their lightsaber on at night? to charge it.

Speaker: Yeah, change out the battery. Or is this just the paranoia of kids that have grown up on the battlefield of sleeping with your weapon under your pillow?

Speaker: Yeah. Yep. They have a little existential chat. They do. It's very cute. Ahsoka can't sleep because she can't stand silence because she is traumatized by battle and needs to constantly be moving or she freaks out.

Speaker: And so they go and get a little snack together. and It's very cute. They're sitting in the mess hall with their trays and talking about whether the Jedi are supposed to be warriors or peacekeepers and Do we keep the peace through violence? What is our purpose going to be when this war is over? They get they get a little philosophical, which i think all teens do in at least the energetic equivalent of the middle of the night. They're in space, but it's very much the vibe of they're supposed to be sleeping, but they can't sleep. So, you know, the middle of the night. Yeah.

Speaker: This is also like regular gay first date conversations. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And Ahsoka warns Barriss that, because Barriss is saying, well, you know, my master says this, what your master say? Ahsoka goes, and my master is is a little bit radical.

Speaker: You might not love all of his ideas. Yes. And the clones attack, the clones who have been mind wiped by these little helminth worms attack it our our Jedi girls.

Speaker: One of them makes the comment, if there's one thing we clones know, it's how to stop a Jedi. Yeah, why would that be one thing they clones know? Is it because, what's his face?

Speaker: Jango Fett was a Mandalorian? Question mark? I don't know if he was a Mandalorian. That's still unclear to me. But he could fight Jedi. There's that. And also, they work super closely with the Jedi.

Speaker: This is true. So they're they're used to Jedi. The Padawans get separated. Barriss gets wormed. The ray shield comes up and cuts off her screams, which is very...

Speaker: alien horror movie. I mean, these two episodes in particular, they're they're a zombie movie. We've got our like, it's ah it's it's a five episode arc where we have our spy film, our World War II war movie, and now our zombie film. It's ah it's really effective storytelling.

Speaker: Yeah. And despite the silliness, there are some really effective emotional beats. Like there's a fight where Barriss is being taken over by her worm and she's begging Ahsoka to kill her.

Speaker: And Ahsoka can't bring herself to do it. And then later on at the end of the episode, she's talking to Anakin and saying... did I do the right thing? Should I have killed her? Because that, we don't know the details about how these worms work. That could have potentially saved a lot of lives. Anakin goes, well, you saved her life and I'm sure she appreciates it. But that's a really tense and horrible, scary thing to have happen. And it still hits emotionally amidst the silly zombie of it all.

Speaker: Yeah. For more little baby gay moments, frozen frostbitten Ahsoka at the end is holding frozen frostbitten knocked out Barriss as Kit Fisto comes on and he touches her face to wake her up and she's shivering, wakes up, eyes barely open.

Speaker: Hello, Master Fisto. We're ready to pick up the supplies. We'll take care of that. You rest now, Soka.

Speaker: Devastating. o And then, of course, Kit Fisto gives another one of his, like, golden smiles and tells her to to rest. Yeah.

Speaker: Let's talk very briefly, unless you have anything else to talk about, parasitic worms. I think let's get right into the worms. Let's do it. Sweet. So so these are parasitic brain worms.

Speaker: They, in appearance, resemble helminths, which is a polyphyletic grouping of... you macroparasites.

Speaker: some helminth worms are annelids, some are nematodes, some are flatworms. They come from different groups.

Speaker: So that's what I mean by polyphyletic. And most worm parasites, they're largely intestinal because that is where they get nutrients. That makes sense.

Speaker: Some can end up in different parts of the body's accidentally. And basically every species on earth has a parasite that is specialized for it.

Speaker: Humans have up to like 300 species of parasitic worms that are specialized for humans. It's, we in America very rarely have parasitic worms as an issue, but it is still an issue elsewhere in in the world.

Speaker: One of the major sort of theories of why a lot of developed countries have higher rates of allergies is because the immunoglobulins, IgE, that mediate allergic reactions also mediate helminth defense.

Speaker: And so if your immune system is not mounting defenses against parasitic worms, it redirects that. That's so interesting. I feel like you might have told me this before. This sounds familiar. As a bitch with a lot of allergies, I feel like this is something I've heard.

Speaker: yeah However, there are parasites that do influence people's behavior, including one, Toxoplasma gondii, which reproduces in cats. Is that the one that if you're pregnant, you're not supposed to change your cat's litter box because it can you can be more susceptible to it? Okay.

Speaker: Yeah. If you're that co-hosts, no pregnant people for you. Okay. And in rodents, it can induce depressive behavior. Aww.

Speaker: That seems to increase ah their chances of being preyed upon by cats. Huh. Because they don't flee. That makes sense. And so then ah the toxoplasma can get into cats and reproduce.

Speaker: There is also some evidence to suggest that in humans, it can cause ah increased dopamine production and increased risk-taking behaviors.

Speaker: Yeah. I haven't read too much more deeply, but apparently it can sort of like increase impulsivity and and aggression in humans.

Speaker: There's not like a ton of research into it, but... That seems to be one of the effects. Parasitic fungi in invertebrates can adjust their behavior, again, like for reproductions. So a parasite changing a creature's behavior to make it more likely for the parasite to reproduce is a thing that occurs in nature. Yeah.

Speaker: What does not occur in nature is the hive mind control due to a worm invading your brain. Also, did you ever read the Animorphs books?

Speaker: I did not, no. The villains in the Animorphs books... are the yurks who are a brain parasite. They, I don't remember whether it's the ear or the nose. I think it might be the ear in this case. They invade and then they spread out over your brain and gain your memories and control you.

Speaker: Yeah. So that was the vibe I was getting from these things. um Although the yurks have like little offshoots and like eyes, they look more like slugs than nematodes. These are very much like roundworms.

Speaker: That's pretty much all I've got for parasites at this time. The vast majority of life on this planet is parasitic. I guess I never really thought about it that way.

Speaker: Yeah. Parasites have parasites too. Every single group of animals has parasites that feed upon them, and every single group of animals contains parasites that feed on other things. Vampire bats, mosquitoes, lice...

Speaker: roundworms, protozoans, viruses are inherently parasitic. We discussed whether or not viruses are alive last time, but they are parasitic. Yeah, if you want hear spin out about viruses, go back and listen to our last episode.

Speaker: Anyway, that's that's what I got on that. Yeah, the scare factor of the parasites in this episode is very effective. When it takes over the first clone, the way he's laying down, the way he arches up like he's being lifted from his stomach and then about to almost skitter sort of upside down on all fords and then rises up in this super unnatural way. It's very gross. It's very...

Speaker: Visceral, i think is the word that I would use. Yes. Yeah, they they achieved the scare. I definitely would have had nightmares about that if I had seen the show as a kid. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker: The effective little zombie movie pieces here. Anything else on this large crop of episodes? I thought these were two well done sort of arcs.

Speaker: You had very sort of separate. Every episode told its own story, but it was a really nice sort of like continuous storyline across this group of arcs.

Speaker: yeah We had, you know, our three episodes at the beginning and then the next five that all sort of connected and flowed into each other. I hope Barriss comes back. I like her a lot. I think that she has the potential to be really cool and interesting. I like that Ahsoka has peer because we've seen some other master-student relationships, but none that are sort of actively happening. None of her contemporaries have. And now she has a contemporary to be her friend and to bond with and fight with and obviously develop a big gay crush on, which is, again, so cute. They can go to Jedi prom together or something. But yeah, I just enjoyed the little character bits. Waxer and Boyle show up again in one of these episodes. and Those are my guys. And if they die, I'll be sad. But I enjoyed these except for Senate Spy. They were well done and interesting and fun.

Speaker: And I had a good time. Yeah. So next time we are going to cover, and I said this was the last time we're doing something totally in order for a hot minute.

Speaker: Next time we will be covering season two, episode nine, Grievous Intrigue through episode 11. So Grievous Intrigue, The Deserter, and Lightsaber Lost.

Speaker: Then we will be covering episodes 17 through 19, Bounty Hunters and the two Zillow Beasts. episodes, and then episodes 20 through 22, death trap, our two come home and lethal track down. All right.

Speaker: So until next time, if you like what you're hearing, we have a large backlog, subscribe to our podcast. You'll get notified as soon as a new episode drops. We release every other Tuesday. You can listen to any of our backlog. We have a lot of Lord of the Rings stuff. We have a whole mini season on murder bot.

Speaker: We are now developing a star Wars backlog And if you've got ideas for bonus episodes you want to see from us or you know other topics you think we should cover, drop us a line. You can send us an email at thefandomapprentice.gmail.com or you can send us a message on any one of our social medias. We are at FanAppPod on any social media site that we are on.

Speaker: We're most active, I think, like on Tumblr and Instagram. But shoot me a message wherever and I'll see it at some point. But if you want a response, the email, thefandomapprenticeatgmail.com is the best way to get a quick response. If you really like what you're hearing, leave us a five-star review, leave us a written review, leave us a comment. But most importantly, talk to your friends about us.

Speaker: Word of mouth is the best way for a small podcast to spread. And we always love finding new listeners. I was talking with my parents about our podcast. And they were asking me like, hey, how many you know downloads do you have in the country they live in? And I was like, actually more than most of the continent. and you know your city is the most popular. And they were like, you know was looking at the analytics with them and they were like, we've only listened to a couple of your episodes. It's not all us.

Speaker: And it's, you know, it's definitely not all just us talking to our friends. They told their book club about us because they read the Myrna Bot Diaries together.

Speaker: But like, that's not enough. So clearly, you know, either some members of the book club told friends about us or we got found by somebody else and they told friends about us. So...

Speaker: Yeah, pass the word along. Yeah, it genuinely does make a noticeable difference and it makes us really happy. We enjoy that other people like to hear the things that we have to say because we'd be doing this even if no one was listening. This is just fun for us. But the fact that people enjoy it and they want to engage with it is really cool. And that motivates us very strongly to come back and do all of these research and prep and editing heavy episodes. Yeah.

Speaker: Because it's it's a labor of love for each other and also for you, our listeners. Anyway, thank you so much for listening. And and we will see you next time.

Speaker: See you next time. Bye. The Phantom of Brentis is produced and edited by Rin and Sam. Our music is composed and performed by James. You can find more of his work on Spotify and Bandcamp under Bayruz, B-A-E-R-U-Z.

Speaker: Our art is by Casey Turgeon. You can find more of her work at KCT Designs on Instagram. The content discussed is the property of the original copyright holders and is used here under fair use.