Transcript
Speaker: We've talked about Dungeon Crawler Carl at the beginning of like the last three episodes. Have we? am on book five. Yes, because two episodes ago, I hadn't started it yet. And I was saying, I want to get on the Dungeon Crawler Carl train, which I didn't even realize till after I said that is a joke because there's trains.
Speaker: But then last time we spoke, I might have only been on the second book. Or something. I'm moving through them at a rate of about one book every 48 hours.
Speaker: And these are long books and I am reading them in print. They're just chonky. It's the only thing I care about. I haven't even looked for our book club book yet. And I don't remember when the meeting is. It's probably soon. It is in eight days.
Speaker: Okay, so I have eight days to find and read the book club book, but I don't want to read the book club books. I want to read Dungeon Crawler Carl. Miles is reading it right now on the other side of the door. And they just got to the pivotal moment in book four in the Desperado Club where Donut experiences a personal milestone. And I was looking over their shoulder going, oh, it's going to happen.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. it's It's phenomenal. I feel like we should do like a bonus episode on it at some point. Absolutely, yes. Dungeon Crawler Carl, queer reading, because there's no fucking queer people in these books. Yeah, yeah, that one, it is noticeable after a while.
Speaker: You can be a talking bug thing, but you cannot be trans. Mm-mm. We don't have those here. You gotta have a gender. Mm-mm. So...
Speaker: You know, there's like a very brief period in one of the books. I feel like they they I don't know whether it was Matt or whether Matt did him in the author or whether it was, you know, just something that like was happening in Carl's personal journey of like referring to one of the characters as they like as a non gendered being for like two chapters. And then Carl is like he he he ah forcibly assigned gender by Carl.
Speaker: Sad. Yeah, I don't think I've gotten to that part yet. I would have noticed. There is one canonically queer character, but it's just to emphasize what a slut slash negative that they are. So that doesn't count to me. And then there's the other thing about the video with Prince Maestro or whatever his name is. That also doesn't count because that's not really gay. That's AI generated humiliation porn. So...
Speaker: Try again. But it's so fucking good. I am evangelizing it so hard to everyone I know. Oh, same. I went out to ah to an event last night with one of our friends.
Speaker: Before the the talk that we went to started, we're sitting around in the bar for drinks talking about like what we're reading recently. And I brought up Dungeon Crawler Carl. And they were like, this it's been on my list for so long. long. Like it keeps moving further and further up because every person I talk to is reading it now and it just keeps moving up the list really rapidly. And I was like, you need to read this now.
Speaker: You got to do a Casey and get physical copies and hand them out because Casey, the artist of our beautiful art for the podcast, lives very close to me. And so they have been loaning me copies of the books because, you know, they're available. Why not?
Speaker: But I go through them so fast. So instead of, oh, when I see you on Saturday, which is when we normally see each other, i can get the next book. It'll be halfway through the week. I'll go, I need the books. I need them right now. I'll have to get two or three at a time because I know that I'm going to read them so fast. And I feel like I just live near my book dealer and got to get my fix, Carl.
Speaker: Your blitz sticks. Oh, also, side note, we can talk about this. So fans of the podcast will remember several Star Wars episodes ago, we talked about the Tumblr gimmick blog, Does This Character Eat Pussy?
Speaker: And we were talking about Han Solo. The character answer was obviously yes. Carl, Carl Dungeon Crawler? Absolutely not. No fucking way.
Speaker: i don't want to victim blame him for being cheated on. It's never your fault if someone cheats on you. However, i highly doubt that B's needs were being met.
Speaker: I highly doubt it. I don't, I simply do not think that this man knows how to give head. No, I don't think that, i yeah, I don't think that he knows how to give head.
Speaker: He knows how to throw head. he out of a Yes, out of a Chesteria. But i do think, I mean, we we know for a fact that Bea did not communicate at all.
Speaker: he So I do think, like, she straight up gave him no feedback, never talked to him about what she liked or desired, it like, h just instead decided to cheat on him with...
Speaker: five separate people i believe we have confirmed are we to five now well we're no it's well it's three different men and it's unconfirmed whether one of those was carl and so at least three plus and then donut was saying something about is it still cheating if it's with a woman Yes. So we know there's a woman.
Speaker: We know that there's a woman, but it was i i thought the way she said that, I thought it was there was more than one woman. I'm going to have to go back and look because I still have all of Casey's books I can check. And so, yeah, so Bea's getting it with a great many people.
Speaker: And I somehow doubt is getting her needs met by any of them. Yeah. She's just, instead of communicating, she just keeps starting fresh with new partners. Yeah. Hoping that one of them will psychically intuit what she wants. We've talked about this with, I think it was dark romance specifically. I mean, all romance novels have this problem, but especially anything that's like really edgy or kinky that's like,
Speaker: Oh, your partner is just going to know. They're going to know exactly what you want and just do it without you having to ask. and No, these are the circumstances where you should be communicating extra. But no, it's just because we're so perfect for each other.
Speaker: Speaking of dark romance, I have a well-documented voice kink. Mm-hmm. Most of that documentation is on this podcast. Right, precisely. But that, of course, does mean that things can go in the other direction.
Speaker: I was listening to a dark romantic-y, it's not good. I think I gave it two stars because it's coherent, which is kind of the best thing I can say about it.
Speaker: It is composed of sentences, and those sentences become paragraphs. And the characters are consistent. They're poorly written, but they're consistent.
Speaker: So the narrator for this audiobook... has narrated other pieces of erotica that I have listened to. doesn't None of which are like particularly up my alley necessarily, but none of which were like such an instant like, oh God, squicked me out.
Speaker: Yeah. For like vanilla ass heterosexual sex in the way that the narration was going on in this book. isn When the narrator was reading books written by a decent author that wrote characters with convincing chemistry, I could overlook some of the ways that this narrator emphasized certain words and phrases and gets really breathy at times. But when added on to like poor poorly written sex. It's just, it it's something else.
Speaker: That reminds me of when I was listening to the audiobook for Hot and Badgered. Oh my god. And it sounded like the narrator was having a stroke. It was the most bizarre emphasis in the middle of words that didn't need it. Truly, truly. There have been very few times that a narrator has completely taken me out of the experience.
Speaker: Not that Hot and Badgerd was really that much of an experience. I experienced something. Hot and Badgerd was an experience, but what that experience was... o Speaking of experiences, Eethkoth is having a bunch of experiences he would like to not have, thanks.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of The Fandom Apprentice. My name is Rin. I'm one of your hosts. I grew up with Star Wars and with Lord the Rings and with a number of other pieces of nerdy media that I have...
Speaker: made it my mission now in the future to foist upon my friends who did not have the chance to view or read this media as children.
Speaker: One of these days I'll make that less clunky. But ah thankfully, I have a less clunky friend here. Hello, I'm Sam. I'm the other one. i am less clunky, apparently, which is good. I wanted to make a joke about clankers and clunky, but it didn't quite work.
Speaker: But this is a pretty good batch of episodes of the animated Clone Wars TV series that we're going to talk about today. i have some gripes about small Parts of certain episodes. But overall, I think these ones were really fun.
Speaker: This was a solid bunch. I like mentally had sort of classified this as like the flyover episodes because we're going from like kind things.
Speaker: early storytelling in season one. And we're going to pick up with some of the Mandalorian episodes next time. And those are just so fucking strong. But I kind of had had this classified in my head is like, Oh, we'll get through this and then we'll move on. But no, actually, these are all quite good. Yeah. So today we are talking about season two, episodes nine and 10.
Speaker: which is Grievous Intrigue and the Deserter. Season 2, Episode 11, Lightsaber Lost. Season 2, Episode 17, Bounty Hunters. Episodes 18 and 19, The Zillow Beast and The Zillow Beast Strikes Back.
Speaker: And then Episodes 20, 21, and 22, Death Trap, R2 Come Home, and Lethal Trackdown. Hell yeah. Shall we get right into it?
Speaker: Let's get started. All right. So season two, episode nine, Grievous Intrigue. Obi-Wan and Anakin rescue another Jedi taken captive by Grievous. But was it worth it?
Speaker: Right straight away in the very beginning, they talk about how Grievous is just kind of striking wherever he wants and... They say like that they could never predict where Grievous will strike next. bum on Until now.
Speaker: Yeah, because he's pulling up right next to you. You know exactly where he's striking next. It's here. It's right now. Yeah. There were a couple of really fun details in this episode. We have when Grievous cuts through the blast door and he kicks it in and you notice that that lands in two pieces. Yeah.
Speaker: Because it gets cut by Eethkoth's saber. He kicks the door and Eethkoth ducks. oh But this his lightsaber is still there. And so it gets cut in half. And then Grievous is saying, you know, is it murder to rid the galaxy of you Jedi filth?
Speaker: And he ignites one lightsaber on Jedi and another one on filth. I had highlighted that line and written, yes, that is literally what that word means.
Speaker: You can just say yes and I'm okay with it. But that timing is very good. I also noted in this episode that Grievous is just really easy to bait. Yeah. He's not stupid.
Speaker: He is actually quite smart. But he will just fall for anything. And he'll make it work to his advantage the best he can, but he needs to just pump the brakes a little bit. No, he's aggressive and hates Jedi so much that he can very easily be drawn into suboptimal situations.
Speaker: In terms of the plot of this one, I didn't have a whole heck of a lot. um There was the classic... grab onto the outside of the big ship so they can't detect us. And at this point in the series, I'm getting kind of tired of cutting doors open with lightsabers. I think we need different ways to open doors because it is objectively very cool. But when it happens in every single episode, it gets a little stale. And I think, okay, we need a different way to get into places.
Speaker: The thing that I really thought was interesting about this episode is that our Jedi guy, Eeth Koth, who I don't know if he's the same kind of guy as Darth Maul, but they're the same kind of alien. Maybe they have the head spikies.
Speaker: Yeah, so they are both Zabraks. There are two different groups of Zabraks. We meet another Zabrak in this bunch of episodes, too. Sugi in the Bounty Hunters episode is also a Zabrak.
Speaker: One group of Zabraks is from Iridonia. That's the group that... ethkoth and sugi come from the other group of zabrax is from dathomir and dathomiri zabrax are all in that sort of like orange to red to yellow skin spectrum but they have a really really pronounced sexual demorphism that the irid that the iridonian zabrax don't have huh So we have actually met so far.
Speaker: these I think Eethkoth might be the first like named Iridonian Zabrak we meet. But we've actually already met both a male and female Dathomiri Zabrak. Oh, I did not even notice that.
Speaker: Yeah, so we've met Darth Maul and we've met somebody else. I'm not going to remember if this is a quiz, but if it's a surprise. ah It's not. Is Ventress one of them, but she doesn't have head spikies? Uh-huh. Ventress is the other one.
Speaker: I thought so. Damn, she would look so cool with the horns. She should be allowed to have them. She would. it's we'll get We'll cover in a few episodes Ventress's background, but in Legends, in initial content, she wasn't Dathomiri.
Speaker: She was Ratataki, which is another... That's that Pixar movie about the mouse who makes food. Yes, definitely. Which is why she has no hair. The rats pulled it all off.
Speaker: But they retconned some things and had to come up with basically, yes, she's still a Zabrak, but she's she's a different Zabrak.
Speaker: Sweet. Okay. So this is this is tangential to my observation about the episode. Yeah. So the way that it's set up is we're trying to rescue Eeth Koth and capture Grievous, but it becomes apparent that you can only really do one or the other in the circumstances. And the Jedi elect to rescue Eeth, which immediately pings my plot senses because we've had...
Speaker: So many episodes where the point is you have to think about the greater good, make the strategic choice for the cause. Don't just put all your energy trying to save one person when you could save countless more by doing the mission. And so the fact that all of our Jedi are on board to rescue...
Speaker: ETH instead of focusing on Grievous was interesting to me. And then when the time comes to make the choice, they get him. They get ETH. And he is not happy about it. At the very end of the episode, the last thing he says, I would have gladly given my life if it meant bringing that monster to justice.
Speaker: And yeah, I was thinking about that the whole time because obviously we don't want people to die. That's sad. But he's a Jedi master. He understood the situation and he didn't want them to do that. He wanted them to get grievous.
Speaker: So this is more sort of ethical conundrums of did they do the right thing when he explicitly didn't want that?
Speaker: I don't know. I don't have the answer, but I thought that it was interesting and I liked that there was a little bit of complexity to that whole situation. Yeah. My observations from this episode.
Speaker: Thing one, Anakin and Grievous will never be in the same room until Revenge of the Sith. Huh. The only times we'll see them interacting before Revenge of the Sith are through like holograms.
Speaker: he And it's because of one throwaway line in Revenge of the Sith. Where Anakin says, don't remember whether you're taller you're shorter than I thought you'd be. Oh my god.
Speaker: So clearly he's never seen him before and so Anakin can't ever actually be in the same room as Grievous. That's hilarious. I had never put two and two together on that because obviously I haven't seen Revenge the Sith but I hadn't noticed that they were never in the same room.
Speaker: Yeah, well, i mean, it's going to continue. So just it's fun to like, like, all right, what are we doing to Anakin to get him out of the room so we can have this next scene where Grievous is in it?
Speaker: Grievous runs away with his like creepy little cockroach scuttling. And he goes out and he uses his back foot to lock the door behind him. Like he could have just kept running and then we would have, you know, seen the door close and then Obi-Wan try and get to the door. Like we didn't need him to like click the button to lock the door. But just again, ridiculous little details in this episode.
Speaker: The commando droids, when they enter the bridge for the first time, they're visibly headshotting all of the clones. Yeah. like Visibly shooting these dudes in the head, which, again, violence, perfectly okay in a children's cartoon.
Speaker: When Grievous makes his little like ransom call to the Jedi Council, the makeup of this group of Jedi watching this was really interesting to me because we have the Jedi Council, but then there's also two younglings there.
Speaker: like like Yeah, why are they there? Two little babies. And did you notice both Barris and Ahsoka running in late one after the other? No. And I was like, okay, so they're definitely, they were definitely doing whatever the like gay teen Jedi equivalent of making out another bleachers was.
Speaker: Yeah, oh, that's so cute! Which is probably a lot of repressed staring. Oh my god, they are so they are so repressed. I, you know, I haven't seen the series yet, the whole series, so I can't say definitively, i don't know if they ever kiss. I think they have one of those really intense, very homoerotic, codependent relationships.
Speaker: Their relationship is definitely intense. Sorry to some people that I knew in high school. It happens to the best
Speaker: of us. Not the good kind of intense homoerotic friendship, the weird teenage kind where you don't know how to express yourself. Any other commentary for this episode? Do we want to move on to the next one?
Speaker: Yes, one tiny one that then dovetails into the next one. I don't usually remark on the little Jedi fortune cookies at the beginning of the episode because they're nothing burgers. But this one and the next one, I hated so much that I wrote them down because they were really stupid. So for this one, it's for everything you gain, you lose something else.
Speaker: That's patently false. That's nothing. The way in which that connects to the episode is they're making a choice. They're gaining, saving their friend, and they're losing Grievous. Okay, that's not what that sentence means, though. And that sentence is wrong. There are lots of things you can gain without losing other things. That's terrible. That's so stupid.
Speaker: And the one at the beginning of season two, episode 10, The Deserter, is it is the quest for honor that makes one honorable. Also, not true. Not true at all. And not really related to the point of the episode. I don't know if the quest for honor is what motivated our friend Cut.
Speaker: But to get into that episode, the little plot summary, we meet a clone that fucked off and started a family. Rex isn't ready to unpack that.
Speaker: Yeah, so they chase Grievous down onto the planet and Rex gets himself shot. And so he's recovering on a farm.
Speaker: They meet a farmer. She's a Twi'lek. Her name is Sue. S-U-U. I was gonna say it's with two U's. So you know she's an alien. Exactly.
Speaker: And the fact that her proportions are just all fucked up. I think you could put, you could wrap your hand around her waist and like touch your thumb to your middle finger, like around her waist.
Speaker: And also she's wearing this weird combo chaps overalls, but it's just the front. And it like, yeah, like covers her tits and then like comes down and covers her belly button, but not the sides.
Speaker: Fascinating, fascinating choice. But you know what? She also has what looks like freckles on her forearms and shoulders, but I think it's tattoos. I also think she has tattoos because she has them on her...
Speaker: On her leku, yeah. Thing, yeah. So I think she's just a cool, tatted baddie. But this episode does not help the bullshit that is the Clone Wars timeline.
Speaker: Because, okay, we have our clip i was yelling to miles about this before we started recording and i was like miles yeah i know you haven't seen this episode you don't watch store store wars you don't watch star wars but i need you to know how mad i am about this so we have our clone who's fucked off and become a farmer his name is cut so he has been alive long enough to serve in the military go be out on a mission Lose the rest of his squad. Be the only survivor.
Speaker: Get out of that. Find this woman. Start dating her. Marry her. Have two kids with her, who I would guess the older one is probably around six or seven in human years.
Speaker: During a three-year war that we're still, like, in the middle of? That we're still in the first year of. We're still in year one of the three-year war. Now, supposedly, he left directly after, like, the Battle of Geonosis. Like, the very first battle, he he got shot down, like, right after that.
Speaker: Okay, so even if he knocked her up that day... so okay, so supposedly... In canon, the babies are half human, half Twi'lek.
Speaker: But this is from a previous relate they're from a previous relationship. He is their adoptive parent. We do have in Wookieepedia birth years for the two children.
Speaker: Canonically, Shia is four and Jek is three. That's not how four-year-olds and three-year-olds talk or act. I was going to say, child care professional, how do you feel about that one I feel upset. I think these children are terrible. i think they are annoying. I think they are poorly written. ah they No.
Speaker: The younger one, Jek could maybe be four. But the other one whose name I already forgot, even though you just said it, she has to be at least six.
Speaker: That's not how children are. And I did not like them as characters. I found them extremely grating. Jek especially. i was like, wow, his voice is annoying. But also I recognize it. For once in my life, I recognize a voice. And I was right because he is voiced by Kath Susie, who does Phil and Lil on the Rugrats. So good for her.
Speaker: Get your money. do the voice. But I didn't like these fucking kids. Well, yeah. and Well, in the only way that you could justify this four and three is if they were, in fact, cuts kids and had inherited the ah accelerated growth.
Speaker: I guess they'd have to be really... really accelerated and you know what i'm still gonna say no because she wouldn't have had time to have those pregnancies back to back i don't know how long twi'lek gestation is yeah so so well but it's it's a you know for them to be canonically four and three years old they would have had to have like inherited that accelerated growth so that they are like you know chronologically four and three but like physically like eight and six hmm like that's the only way to make that work but it can't because this is still the first year of the fucking war yeah it's it's bad all around oh here's another reason that i hate these kids i know they probably don't see a whole lot of people because they live on a farm it's pretty rural and granted this guy looks like their dad
Speaker: you know Rex looks like their dad, obviously, because they're the same guy. But I think that most children in that situation would be fucking terrified. A stranger who looks exactly like your dad is in your shed and he's been shot?
Speaker: yeah you're not gonna be begging for him to come inside and have dinner you're gonna cry and hide even the most outgoing gregarious children would be a little bit scared of this guy and they just yeah are and not and not come in loom over him and go you look like my daddy no they're terrible their writing is terrible ah zero out of ten but the thing that is really juicy about this episode is the dynamic between rex and cut so rex is recuperating in this family's barn and then he's realizing oh shit this guy's a deserter and the
Speaker: really uncomfortable family dinner that he is dragged to that we had a good queer reading about do you want to talk about that this is yours my friend okay cool so this is mine oh my fucking god so rex is invited into dinner with his family and i guess they've put his clothes back on him, whatever undershirt he wears under his armor that we'd never really see. But I was thinking, well, if he needs to wear the farmer's clothes, at least we know they'll fit him because they're the same guy. But they're having this dinner.
Speaker: And, you know, Cut is hanging out with his family. It's extremely sweet, very domestic. And Rex is so uncomfortable. And Cut is kind of teasing him a little bit, saying, you know, don't tell me you've never thought about this. Don't tell me you've never wished that you could have a different life.
Speaker: You know, I see that you're uncomfortable. I think he literally says, I see the way you look at my family. Which is such a good line because it's standing up for his family and saying, hey, don't fucking look askance at my wife and children. I love them. I see the way you're looking at my fucking family. But also, like, I see you.
Speaker: I see you. Because you are uncomfortable because this is something you want. This is something you've thought about. And seeing someone else living their truth, even if it's uncomfortable, even if it means abandoning the way that they were raised. that's uncomfortable for you and you're not ready to deal with it and that is queer person deep deep deep in the closet and somebody who is out and happy going hey uh-huh don't tell me you've never thought about it i see that you're uncomfortable but you're uncomfortable because this is something you want but you can't admit that to yourself and yeah rex is an egg and this is
Speaker: Beautiful and true to me. Yeah, no, I mean, that's that's just such a good reading. Cut at one point is says that he's exercising his freedom to choose.
Speaker: To choose not to kill for a living. And a few episodes back, we asked if clones could be conscientious objectors. And we get our answer here because Rex replies, that's not your choice to make. very you know yeah You don't get to choose who you are. You were made this way.
Speaker: And it like the look that cut gives Rex. It's like, are you sure? It's also really giving really religious person and family member who is deconstructed.
Speaker: i am not as familiar with that whole because my religious upbringing wasn't that intense. But I think you could also very easily make that argument. I think there's a lot of overlap between those two experiences. But Cut is really asking him some tough questions. And so this poor guy who's just been shot and is trying to recover from that is also now grappling with, do I dream of freedom? Is my life meaningful?
Speaker: You know, these are kind of big, big questions. Rex, at the end of the episode, goes back to his unit. Cut offers him the chance to stay. He's like, you're welcome to stay here.
Speaker: And Rex says something like, you know, this is your family. I've got mine. Yeah. Which is, and I feel like it's half and half between, what?
Speaker: I see the way you're thinking. i see the way you're living your life. And I think, you know, like the way that I feel about my brothers is the way that you you feel about your family.
Speaker: And also it's the, well, I'm going back for now because I'm not ready to think about this. Yeah, I was very much getting, you know, you've helped me reframe this a little bit. You've given me stuff to think about, but I'm not ready to go all in the way that you've gone all in.
Speaker: But that's still, that's still valuable. That was still an important connection that they had. And Rex is still fully bought into The clone soldier mentality, you know, he's saying, you're still a deserter, but you're not a coward.
Speaker: He is still valuing the loyalty to the brotherhood of clones and being a deserter is a real mark against cut.
Speaker: Although, you know, all the rest of his whatever group, squadron, or platoon, or military word for however many of them there were, they all died. he was the only survivor of his mission.
Speaker: So, sure, he's deserting the cause, TM, but as far as... you know, individuals that he's personally let down. There was no one for him to personally let down. I think he was probably good to go at that point. Yeah.
Speaker: He says, you know, I was just another expendable clone waiting for my turn to be slaughtered in a war that made no sense to me. No one was coming back to rescue him.
Speaker: Yeah, until until you saw that I was here, ah like, in the eyes of the Republic, I've already been dead and discarded for months in the canon timeline and years in our in the timeline of our hearts.
Speaker: I did also like the like zombie movie inspo for the Commando droid scene. is very you know We have a couple of monster movie inspired inspired episodes here, and this this was a fun little piece.
Speaker: Also, why aren't these children going outside to play in the middle of the night? After dinner, they're, and I'm not sure if this is immediately after dinner or if it's implied to be a little bit later, but they're going outside in the dark to play in the cornfields. And I don't know, I didn't grow up on a farm. I don't know corn.
Speaker: I do, people who know me in real life know that I am very scared of large cornfields. Not corn mazes, because that's, you know, a recreational area. But miles and miles of corn, that idea is just very fright It's the same as the ocean. It's just too big and bad. is Why are these children going out and playing in corn in the dark? I don't like it.
Speaker: My explanation for this is only that like the night-day cycles have got to be off here. Yeah. It's like the you know whatever your circadian rhythm is from your time on Ryloth, your evolution on Ryloth,
Speaker: does not match what's happening on Seleucami. Yeah, that makes sense. so you know, maybe it's dark, but maybe it's always dark. You know, it's dark for like three days at a time to your brain. Maybe it's both, you go through an entire dark and light cycle.
Speaker: Who knows? But anyway, yeah, I really like that one. I really like Cut. I... I think he's a just such a fun character. And speaking of episodes with delicious, delicious queer readings, let's go to season two, episode 11, Lightsaber Lost.
Speaker: Oh boy, I love this. Okay, so Ahsoka goes on a quest with Grandpa to learn the value of slowing down. Sure, fine, whatever. So Anakin Ahsoka go to the seedy underworld because they want to meet with an arms dealer who's selling weapons to the Separatists. But they're fully walking around in full cop getup.
Speaker: Yeah, like not even the poncho of disguise. just Later on, Master Plo Koon makes them wear the poncho of disguise. Yeah. But here they're just fully, i don't know how they expected this to go.
Speaker: Anakin is not subtle. Ahsoka's not subtle, but she just has her lightsaber out and you'll never guess what happens to it. ah ah ah It gets stolen. oh Yeah. So then she has to try to get it back without Anakin finding out because he's always lecturing her about losing her lightsaber. Although, I'm sure Wikipedia has an official tally of how many lightsabers Anakin has lost, or at least how many times he has come perilously close to losing his own lightsaber and then had it miraculously returned to him.
Speaker: I'm sure we could find that information. Yeah, so he is one to fucking talk. But Ahsoka is in the library and is introduced to this old turtle man who makes puns, who is an expert in the crime world on Coruscant and he's gonna help her find the pickpocket and she goes okay thanks old man I'm gonna go do this myself bye and he goes no wait for me and I haven't been on a mission in years and so then she's
Speaker: stuck with grandpa but it's cute because she's learning the value of his old man ways and he teaches her lessons that's all fine there's also the silliest possible version of buying things on the black market It it is really what a child imagines the black market to be like. Oh, yeah, of course. You know, it's a physical place that you go, you go hey, we're looking to buy a lightsaber. You just say outright exactly the illegal thing that you're trying to buy.
Speaker: Yeah, and then you go next door to the noodle shop. That's the front. In full view, where you can still see all the people sitting at the noodle shop.
Speaker: And there's just dudes standing around, like, leaning on a car that has weapons sticking out of it. And these dudes also don't seem to recognize the obvious cops until they announce, hey, we're Jedi, fuck you.
Speaker: Very silly. But all this bullshit is leading up to knack movers, which sounds like a very fake name. but this is apparently the guy who bought her lightsaber on the black market and this where is this guy he's at his girlfriend's house let's go there and look for him so they go to his house they look for him he's dead oh no so sad his bereaved girlfriend is there she has it' sideways closing eyeballs and cool mitten hands and she's pink love her And her hair is also just a flap of skin. Yeah. She's she's cool. I like her. she's just She activates the uncanny valley in my brain. i don't like her.
Speaker: That's fair. she is she is weird. I think she has kind of similar, she has designed similarities to the Gungans with the flaps and the hands, but in a way that has a little more charm.
Speaker: But so she's there, she's doing this big performance of being very sad, but our wise turtle master is going, there's something else. You're upset, but I think you're upset about something else secretly. He's he's doing the Columbo thing. Yeah. the Like talk to her and sort of seem like a doddering old fool to get her to lower her guard until she admits that she's fuck something up so while they're talking ahsoka goes into another room she's nosing around and the scariest lady ever appears she looks listeners like a cross between a clown and a tall sexy partially balding raggedy ann
Speaker: I think is how I would describe her. She's just wearing the creepiest fucking mask. Yeah. and she is just She is extremely frightening. But she is also very scared of Ahsoka and runs away.
Speaker: And then there's this big chase with lots of epic, cool force jumps. And it is a very fun scene. i enjoyed watching it. But what I enjoyed even more was we realize after a minute that the girlfriend and scary, scary clown lady are in cahoots.
Speaker: And I'm thinking, oh, haha, maybe they're secret girlfriends. And so the girlfriend comes out in a speeder and then scary clown jumps into it and she holds up the lightsaber, making eye contact with the girlfriend with just the biggest bedroom eyes. Yeah. I took a screenshot and I sent it to you and I said, they're going to have lesbian sex about this later. I can tell.
Speaker: It's just so obvious that they are together and they are in this together. This is not gal pals. And then as you were preparing for this episode, you sent me an image that had me screeching.
Speaker: So, okay. So according to Wikipedia, Ioni Marcy, who has the weird sideways eyes, yeah is Nack Movers' girlfriend. Nack Movers is an assassin, a hitman in the Coruscant underworld.
Speaker: And he hires, i think her name is Chrysilda, because that's what I have written down, or Cassie or something, I think they call her at some point. But he hires creepy clown lady as a bodyguard and doesn't notice that Ioni and clown lady are getting close and then apparently makes a move on creepy clown lady.
Speaker: And so the two of them together decide to poison him. Ooh. And run away together. But in the background of the shot where we see Knack Movers' is dead body, which, by the way, Knack Movers as a name just has such, like, nineteen twenty s gangster vibes. I was getting very, like, like Legend of Korra, Republic City vibes.
Speaker: And also, my other thought was, Knack Movers, he moves... knickknacks. He's a smuggler. He's an assassin. He's not a smuggler, turns out. Also Legend of Korra, another show I have not seen.
Speaker: But there's a painting in the background where Knackmover died and he raked his claws down it as he as he was dying. But in the painting, we have, he is standing behind Ioni Marcy. Ioni is in this long pink dress which is only a few shades off from her skin color and she's sitting in like a throne and she has one hand up so and nak nak has one hand wrapped around ione's arm and the other hand on her shoulder very possessive and then creepy clown lady cassie i'm gonna call her cassie
Speaker: yeah Cassie is holding Ione's other hand and then Cassie's other hand is on Nack's shoulder and she's leaning her head against his other shoulder.
Speaker: Like... This is a polycule shot. This is a Katie Robert bonus art insert with a book. This is extremely intimate. They're all dressed up fancy. Cassie isn't dressed like a bodyguard. She's not looming in the background.
Speaker: And also, you know how everyone includes their bodyguards in their intimate oil painting family portraits? You know, we all, that's a thing that we all do, you know, professional, professional boundaries.
Speaker: Yeah, no, they're all together. And this is also, it's a fun bit of foreshadowing because I noticed that there was a painting in the room when they first enter. And I go, oh, okay. So this lady is really his girlfriend. She's not some other person pretending to be for some other reason. All right, I see her in the picture, but I didn't notice that Cassie's also in the picture, but we see the painting before we see her.
Speaker: So that's a little, ooh, there's someone else literally in the picture. But ah i i lost my fucking mind when I saw this painting because the artist knew what they were doing.
Speaker: They absolutely knew. Of course. And I'm so excited that my vibe that these two were together was right. Yeah. And according like according to Wikipedia, like these two are together. They're not in a polycule, but like these two are canonically queer. Yes. It's just obviously never mentioned in the episode because we can't do that in 2009.
Speaker: And children, this is a good example of the difference between subtext and queerbaiting. This is subtext. You have to look for it She never says, this is my girlfriend, Cassie, and now we will kiss to show you that we are girlfriends. But you take in the media and you use your brain and it's there. They're not hiding it, but they're also not, you know, feeding it to you.
Speaker: with a spoon. Although i have to say the painting, that's pretty, that's pretty clear. And it makes me so happy. i love it so much. My couple of other things for this episode.
Speaker: One, this is also a Kurosawa inspired episode. Yeah. This is based on the Kurosawa film Stray Dog, in which a veteran detective has to help a rookie who gets his gun stolen.
Speaker: Ah, I see. And the gun is then used in several murders. And there's a whole piece, apparently, of, like, is the cop who let his gun get stolen...
Speaker: culpable for these murders and there's a line at one point where ahsoka is like well you know if he harms anybody with my lightsaber and tara sanube is is like you're worried that you will be just as responsible for those deaths so that's the there's the little connection We see Teres Sanube working with younglings in the background throughout the series. Before this episode, we'll see him in the background after this episode. like he Yoda works with some youngling groups. Teres Sanube is another one of these old Jedi who now, in his retirement, his job is to tutor the younglings. Yeah.
Speaker: And he's very sweet. I really like him. i think he's a super fun, funny character. he One of his first lines is a pun, so I found that extremely endearing. Yeah, although Ahsoka does say, like, yeah, the the thief was from one of the water planets.
Speaker: And Tara Snooby goes, you're saying there was something fishy about him. And I was like, that has to be a racial slur here. Yeah, you're probably right. Sorry, fish people. But one nice thing that he does is at the end, he takes Ahsoka to see the younglings and give them a lesson about lightsaber safety and responsibility.
Speaker: But it does seem very sweet and nice because she has actually learned a valuable lesson that she's excited or at least willing to pass on.
Speaker: And it's not like a humiliation ritual to be like, go show them how you fucked up Ahsoka. It's no, go talk to the children because you now have had a life experience that you can talk about.
Speaker: The last piece, and it's like skated over in the background. When... Ahsoka's chasing, we're calling her Cassie. They're running over like floating billboards, one of which is of the Chancellor speaking. and We hear him saying that the accusations that the Jedi created the Clone War to give themselves more power over the government are absurd and I will not stand for it. and He's saying this now on a massive billboard in the middle of Coruscant.
Speaker: So now Whether or not there were accusations that the Jedi created the Clone War beforehand, there certainly fucking will be now. Any other thoughts on this Kurosawa-inspired episode before we go on to our next Kurosawa-inspired episode? I don't think so. I think we are ready for Season 2, Episode 17, Bounty Hunters.
Speaker: It's another samurai movie. You know the drill. We got to train the villagers to save themselves from bad guys. Yeah, this is this is just Seven Samurai again. ye And it's the episode is dedicated in Kurosawa's memory, which I thought was sweet.
Speaker: I don't have a ton of commentary on this one. I like the side characters. I think they're very fun. I like Sugi. Sugi's very cool.
Speaker: She's like the head of the little bounty hunter group. And then we also have Rumi Paramita, who dies. Saripas, who's the little dude inside armor. i love him He's great fun.
Speaker: And then we have Embo. who is another one of Dave Filoni's blurbos. and Oh, yeah. So, of course, I love him because since since Dave Filoni loves him, he shows up and he gets to cool shit, such as, you know, lots of flips through the air. And he's wearing um like a big round hat.
Speaker: that like serves as a shield and like a Captain America, fri you know, frisbee. But that it's the hat is like very clearly like a jingasa style.
Speaker: Samurai's round hat style. And his robes are very samurai-esque. But Embo does not speak galactic basic. Embo is saying things...
Speaker: In some language, he is voiced by Dave Filoni. There are some Star Wars conlangs that, like, are full-ass languages. Embo, however, is Dave Filoni reading the Smurfs in French badly on purpose. Oh my god.
Speaker: One of the editors was, I guess, French-speaking and had several Smurfs books in his office to read to his son. And so Dave Filoni grabbed them and purposefully mispronounced the French, of which, like, the most obvious word that we can hear at one point is they say something about Embo doing something and Embo goes, wah. And it's, like, clearly meant to be yes. So, like, it's like this is this is we. Yeah. But wah.
Speaker: I think that's an appropriate use of French. I like it.
Speaker: I love him. He's very cool. We do see him break a dude's neck on screen. Yeah, that was another bit of really brutal violence. but I have on my notes, I love that Embo's hat is a shield. And then same line, switch to italics, he just snapped that guy's neck.
Speaker: I was thinking, wow, what a nice fun little hat. Oh, Okay. No, like we get to see Embo in action and he's doing very, very cool shit, and you know, chasing down this pirate scout. And then he just grabs him, picks him up. And there's a there's a like we don't see the next snap, but there isn't like a visible shutter and an audible crack.
Speaker: Yeah. It's like, oh, okay. Great. This whole episode was just so lovingly made. It's hilarious. All the details are great. The bounty hunter lady, i am very gay for her because she's extremely competent.
Speaker: and steps to Obi-Wan immediately with stuff like, you know, he's saying, ah I might make a suggestion. No, no, no, no, no. You might suggest anything you like, General Kenobi, but I know what I'm doing.
Speaker: Chef's kiss. Perfect. But I think the best line in the whole entire episode, our man Hondo is here. And at the end, when he's retreating, his big fuck you line is, This effort...
Speaker: He's no longer profitable. So good. I'm going to say that every time I need to give up on something. Yeah, with his with his like giant ass flying saucer rising up behind him.
Speaker: Man, he's perfect and I love him so much. If we hadn't already talked about Seven Samurai in the Mandalorian episodes, we could discuss the plot more.
Speaker: But we've talked about this plot before. It's good, but I don't feel that I have anything really deep to say about it. just It was a great episode. I liked it a lot.
Speaker: No, I don't think there's anything new to this one. It's fun. It's a good time. And this is, you know, this is the introduction of Embo, who we'll see a lot more of.
Speaker: And we just continue with Hondo being this very, like, neutral evil to neutral scoundrel.
Speaker: Yeah. But we have to take a break from him for season two, episode 18, the Zillow beast, the Jedi awaken an ancient dinosaur thing and take it away to be studied. It's God Zillow.
Speaker: Sorry. God. Oh, that's why it's. That's why it's called it. God damn it. I feel so stupid.
Speaker: go go Godzilla it's Godzilla this yeah Godzilla I mean I knew that it was Godzilla I just didn't the Zillow Zilla yeah no I was just trying to think of jokes about Zillow the house web website and the housing market being the real monster and I missed the obvious actual joke yeah okay so this episode opens with testing a new nuke that supposedly only targets droids. And the scene of this being tested is very cool.
Speaker: I'm getting kind of desensitized to Star Wars explosions. This was a good explosion. This was a real good one. We see it wipe out an entire droid army while the Jedi and Palpatine hologram are watching over this from the scariest Isengard-ass tower that just looks so evil. And I don't know, i think this is probably just the architecture of the local people, because there's political reasons why they're doing this in this location.
Speaker: But to me, and this may be giving Star Wars a little bit more credit than it deserves, but to me, the threatening imagery of this tower with its weird spikes and orange glow is kind of showing, you know,
Speaker: our guys are launching this weapon from this tower and it doesn't really make them look like the good guys. It doesn't make it seem really cool and awesome that they have this giant weapon. It seems like this is something intensely powerful that may or may not have unintended consequences.
Speaker: And those consequences happen pretty much immediately in that it creates a giant sinkhole And awakens a crab dinosaur worm. A kaiju. Yeah. Yeah. It awakens a kaiju, which the imagery of the electroproton bomb, it's a nuke. Like, it looks like a nuke.
Speaker: We drop the nuke and the nuclear testing is what awakens the kaiju. It's Godzilla. Yeah. it's yeah It's just Godzilla. And then we try and use this glowing green radiation-esque technology to defeat it, and it just makes it stronger or just pisses it off. this is it's It's just a monster movie. It's great.
Speaker: And Anakin falls into this sinkhole and he's a dumbass and tries to attack this thing. And to kind of give you a sense of the scale of Anakin relative to this beast.
Speaker: I would say one of its toes is approximately one and a half Anakin's long. This is a massive, massive thing. And he just starts whacking it with his lightsaber, which does nothing. And I wrote in my notes, why? Brathe would be horrified. Why does everyone want to kill it? It just lives there and you blew up its house.
Speaker: This is a unique life form. It's also kind of given Balrog a little bit because the Dugs, people on this planet, their ancestors provoked this race of monsters when they were digging for fuel in the planet's core a long time ago so they have this sort of ancestral beef with these things but the jedi do eventually come to their senses thanks to windu saying you can't murder this thing so you're telling us there's only one of them left and it wasn't doing anything until we blew up its house i think we should take it to safety but then the dougs
Speaker: are saying, well, you need to kill it or we won't sign this treaty that you need to have access to our fuel reserves. And I thought that that was really good stakes. I think that this chunk of episodes has some really good dilemmas where there's not one super clear, easy solution.
Speaker: There's, well, there is a clear, easy solution, but it's not necessarily a good solution or one that's in line with the Jedi values. Yeah. And Palpatine is like, okay, they want you to kill it? Fucking kill it. i don't care.
Speaker: Until he realizes that it has potential military value. If they can study this thing and synthesize its scales...
Speaker: and Because the scales, they block lightsabers, and Palpatine is always looking for something that can one-up the Jedi. I thought he was just being evil because he's evil and cares about the military, but specifically he wants anti-Jedi technology. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, he wants to arm his soldiers in a way that they can't be defeated by Jedi. Oh, you evil motherfucker. i hate him. Uh-huh. The Zillow Beast, however, could have solved...
Speaker: All our problems in the next episode could have made our lives so much easier if it had just been a little bit quicker and managed to kill Palpatine. But no, no, he gets away.
Speaker: Speaking of the next one. So, oh, Palpatine wants to bring it to Coruscant, by the way. Stupid idea. But whatever they do. Season 2, episode 19, you'll never guess, the Zillow Beast strikes back.
Speaker: No one could have seen this coming, except for everyone who saw it coming. The Thing rampages, the Jedi are forced to kill it, and Palpatine has another bullshit idea. Oh, this is another one that has a horrible Jedi fortune cookie. The most dangerous beast is the beast within.
Speaker: No, that's not true. I think the Zillow beast is more dangerous than the beast within. This thing is pretty fucking dangerous. Yeah. Yeah, they they literally in the opening newsreel say that the most dangerous life form in the galaxy touches down on the Republic's most populous planet.
Speaker: Ooh. The most dangerous life form is man. think about that obviously ah and yeah this this is like one of the only episodes i feel like where something goes catastrophically wrong that i feel like palpatine did not engineer or planned for like he's in legit danger here yeah A lot of the other fuck-ups are like, because the Separatists had a secret plan, or, you know, because Palpatine fed them false information, or like, Palpatine is playing both sides against each other,
Speaker: But in this instance, he genuinely fucks up. Yeah. And it almost gets him killed and derails all of his plans. Like, if Anakin had not been able to save him from the Zillow Beast's clutches... would he have been forced to reveal his own force abilities to save himself?
Speaker: Because there's, there's no universe in which he just lets himself die. Yeah. That is, that is not something that he like, he's not about the greater good. He's about his own God or the greater evil or whatever. He's his own God damn power.
Speaker: So, you know, if Anakin hadn't succeeded, would he have been forced to out himself in front of a bunch of Jedi as a force user? Yeah. To get himself out. Yeah. But yeah, the Zillow Beast came very close to saving the Republic.
Speaker: I mean, i think I think ultimately the Republic probably still would have fallen because like by the time we get to this point in the war, the Jedi have already fallen. They just haven't seen it yet.
Speaker: They're just in their death throes. There's a really good poetic shot of one of those floating billboards that we were talking about before. It's a recorded broadcast where Palpatine's talking about the Jedi doing their best to ensure the safety of the citizens while the beast is rampaging.
Speaker: And there's this, you know, ro remain calm. Everything's great. Pre-recorded message. It's the contrast of those chef's kiss. So good. Yeah. And what... Palpatine is trying to do throughout this whole episode. He kind of pivots a little bit, but still he wants to kill it.
Speaker: And there's a whole subplot with this doctor, scientist lady who he's threatening to fire if she doesn't kill it. And eventually, you know, we're thinking, okay, maybe there's a way that it could still be okay, but...
Speaker: The Jedi's hand is forced. They have to kill it. I hope you're happy, Palpatine. But then, at the end, we learn that he wants to clone the fucking thing. Which, I don't know if that was his plan from the beginning. it kind of seems like he came up with that on the fly, but I don't know. But, oh that's somehow worse. Yeah, I think, you know, he's just reacting.
Speaker: And he wants it dead so it is easier to take the material of of its armor off its body. And so like he hasn't given up on that.
Speaker: And also once he sees like how difficult it is to take down, how destructive that a single one can be, he's like, oh, we need more of these. This is ah this is another weapon.
Speaker: he's He's a cockroach. he's And he always is going land on his feet. He's always going to figure out how to turn this to his advantage and he's full of bullshit but he's a great bullshitter he has so many lines about oh yes it's a shame to kill such a unique life form but i am responsible for the lives of millions of people who are dying every day in this terrible war and padme is also there and we didn't even comment on it because she like doesn't do anything
Speaker: But she's there trying to get him to see reason and not kill it. And Anakin is also there and it's an unproductive conversation. And Padme is leaning over to Anakin going, whose side are you on anyway?
Speaker: And Anakin says, you have to admit he makes some good points. It's no wonder he becomes a... almighty dictator. He would totally be a Republican. He would be the kind of Republican boyfriend would'd be like, well, you know, Trump makes some good points. or Now, maybe he wouldn't be a Trump guy, but he'd be an Elon Musk guy. going Well, yeah, well, you know, Trump is, Trump sucks, but that Elon Musk, he's smart. He makes some good points. He says, listen to his podcast.
Speaker: I went to a talk last night. The talk I went to last night was on the alt-right pipeline. And, you know, the, you start out with like It's it's all cult recruitment tactics.
Speaker: Point A to point Z is ludicrous. But point A to point B and point B to point C and point C to point D and point D to point E, that's, you know, the slow incremental shift. You can excuse that. Yeah.
Speaker: Couple of other points from this. Isla Secura shows up with Yoda. Her ass is especially pronounced and popped out in this episode.
Speaker: I didn't even notice. but I'm sure it was. She looks like she's like purposefully popping it out as she's walking behind yoga Yoda. Rex at one point, I love Rex's ah willingness to just fucking roast Anakin in the most respectful fashion.
Speaker: A lot of the general's plans involve falling. absolutely love it. rex Rex is like, yeah, no, this guy's gonna get us fucking killed. Obi-Wan has a good line, this appears to be one of Anakin's improvised plans. And Windu goes, how can it be a plan if it's improvised?
Speaker: And then the tail of the Zillow Beast has a giant thagomizer, which is just one of my favorite words. I don't know what that is. A fagomizer is the official scientific term for the series of, like, the the group of spikes on the end of a stegosaurus's tail.
Speaker: Ah, okay. It is the official scientific term because of a Farside comic by Gary Larson. Amazing. Which are single panel comics, little single panel comics.
Speaker: And it's a bunch of cavemen standing around, like, a PowerPoint. And one of them is pointing to the the slide and goes... This is a Thagamizer, so named after the late Thag Simmons.
Speaker: Just wonderful. I need to check out a book of Farside comics from the library like I did with Calvin and Hobbes comics last year, and I just read a bunch of them. Yeah, so now it's now it's genuinely, like, it the term it was invented in 1982. It became an informal term, and now it is said with full seriousness on, like, documentaries. Yeah.
Speaker: There's a Netflix dinosaur documentary narrated by Morgan Freeman in which he, with all seriousness, talks about the spiked tail. A mace-like tail with meter-long spikes called a thagomizer.
Speaker: Is this the new dinosaur series? Yeah, I haven't watched it yet, but I've heard it's good. Yeah, it was. But just like the fact that like this is an accepted term is great. But yes, the Zilla Beast has a Thagomizer after the late Thag Simmons.
Speaker: Any other thoughts on our... cut Well, oh, sorry. my And my my final thought on but like the kaiju movie. This is a kaiju movie. It's got all the great kaiju movie moments. We have the, you know, sitting in a boardroom around the conference table. As the beast rises up outside and stares into the boardroom and its eye is the size of the window and it roars, it climbs up a building and stands on top and roars and snatches planes out of the air like King Kong. its
Speaker: It's got all the hits. It's a delight. Wildly changing vibes. Season 2, episode 20, Death Trap. If we recall back to... what movie was it?
Speaker: What was the like actual movie? Attack of the Clones? yeah so back to attack at the clones remember when i said bopa would grow up to have issues he's here to kill master windu and ave his father so this episode opens with the clone youth brigade which i'm not surprised that it exists But wow, seeing it makes me mad. makes me so furious.
Speaker: Because they're babies, but they're talking like adults. And it is really funny to hear them talk like adults. It is comical. But oh my god, just seeing these little children who are soldiers and being addressed as men.
Speaker: oh my god, just makes me... Feral with rage. Just raised to be soldiers and never given any other option. So they're here on a fucking Boy Scout trip to check out the ship.
Speaker: Anakin is very excited to impress the babies and Windu is literally shaking his head in the background as Anakin's trying to show off. And so I'm watching this. i'm watching this little group of cadets and they're all very cute and marching along. But one of them is weird and broody. And I'm thinking, huh, you know, he kind of looks like Boba, but they all look like Boba because they're clones. And then two minutes later, oh, it is him.
Speaker: Yeah. We meet Aura Singh in this episode, who is an interesting character who I mostly recall from some expanded universe book that I read as a kid. And according to her Wikipedia page, this is still canon. She's force sensitive but and was in the Jedi Order and left as a Padawan.
Speaker: Interesting. Which gives me questions because it's not stated in canon. Like any details of her time with the Jedi, who she trained with, whatever. That's like none of that's ever stated.
Speaker: But I get the sense from the way that Boba acts and the way that he relies on Aura is... this whole plan to kill Windu is hers.
Speaker: She is she's helping to raise Boba sort of as Jango would have wanted as a little ruthless killing bounty hunter. But i get the sense he probably wouldn't have gone after Windu without her coming up with it.
Speaker: So I have to wonder like, yeah, of course Boba is going to have a desire to hurt the man who killed his father, by it If she was briefly in the Jedi Order, does she have beef with Windu?
Speaker: And then later on... In one of the later episodes, when Plo Koon is talking about her, the way he talks about her, he almost seems to recognize her name. Like, he seems to know her name. She doesn't seem to recognize him. But, like, I have to wonder, like, but there's nothing that says, like, she doesn't recognize him. Was, like, my first thought was, oh, he was her master when she was a Padawan. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: But he's clearly aware of who she is. Was she kicked out of the Jedi Order because she's a violent psychopath? Got an illegal antenna extension. Yeah, she's got an implanted comlink. Yeah. Yeah, so like that just adds some dimension to like her her obvious feud with Windu. It was very unclear to me until the little intro reel 222 lethal track down where it says that she's Boba's mentor it was very unclear to me what their relationship was i was thinking who is this lady why is Boba talking to her why is she involved in this plan i guess I didn't really question why Boba was doing this specifically now and having your take that it was probably her plan that makes a lot of sense to me but as I was watching the episode getting my first impression
Speaker: Super unclear what their relationship was, how he became involved with these people. But as the episodes go on, it starts to make a little bit more sense. Yeah, I mean, like, he's clearly now being raised by other bounty hunters who all clearly had some level of respect for his father. They're all very self-serving at the end of the day, but like, they're not going to just abandon Boba to the universe.
Speaker: My other specific thing from this episode was the Admiral whose ship they're on, it gets destroyed because of shenanigans. He has this whole thing about going down with the ship. And that idea has always been very stupid to me.
Speaker: And I don't know if as someone who knows more about the military and specifically the Navy, you might have more insight about why people care about this. I get that a leader shouldn't abandon their people.
Speaker: And, you know, if you have committed yourself, to some greater cause that you really believe in and being willing to die for it okay, sure. But if it's a lost cause and your spaceship is crashing and you have the option to go in an escape pod, why is there this whole weird honor thing about going down with the ship? That just seems suicidal.
Speaker: According to the internet, in my very, very quick little will research, It's that the captain is responsible for the ship and everybody on it.
Speaker: And so therefore, in an emergency, it is his responsibility to ensure the safety of everybody aboard the ship, which means he's the last one off. Everybody else's lives are his responsibility.
Speaker: Which makes sense, and I'm not disagreeing with that, but I'm saying, why does he also have to die? There's enough escape pods for everybody. He could have left, but he's saying to Obi-Wan, I don't expect you to understand, but I'm staying with the ship.
Speaker: Why not just wait for everybody else to go and you get on the last pod? Yeah, he may also be trying to like save the ship itself. Like he says it went like he's trying to land it on the planet.
Speaker: I don't know. It doesn't seem worth it to me. no But next one, continuing this little arc of these three episodes, season two, episode 21, R2 come home.
Speaker: Anakin and Windu get caught in an explosion and have to send R2 for help. So we go down to the crash site of the big ship and we're looking for this admiral there's a lot of mysterious clues about people being executed anakin is constantly stopping what he's doing to pet r two which is just like when i stop what i'm doing to kiss phoenix on his little head like i'm trying to get ready for the day and i go oh wait no he needs a kissy on his little head you you just gotta it you got a cute little critter you gotta do it
Speaker: and I didn't really have a whole lot plot wise for this one. Just that Boba sets a trap for Windu and Anakin by planting a bomb inside his dad's helmet. And that's so poetic. Having the helmet from the decapitation that Windu caused being the thing to blow him up.
Speaker: Oh, that was good. I don't know if that was Boba's idea. Or if that was Aura's idea, but it was really good. I have a couple of minor points from this episode. One, this is loosely loosely loosely loosely based off of the 1943 film lassie come home the little timmy's down a well send send the the very very smart dog to get help so that's that's r2 send send the smart droid to get help mace is super dismissive of r2 just as a
Speaker: in general. And I'm reading, so I'm rereading a book that we will eventually read together just to make sure I have the timing in the order right. And between, you know, every, every depiction that we see of Mace, we get, I get sort more the characterization of him as this immovable object in his code that he has decided is absolute.
Speaker: Anything outside of that by the book Jedi code moral purity stance is wrong. Droids are tools.
Speaker: you encourage you He says you know to Anakin that you encourage it too much. you know It's not a pet. When R2 goes off, he turns to Anakin and goes, hope that the faith that you put in that droid is worth it.
Speaker: Yeah. He clearly doesn't think it is. He's like, we're screwed. You fucked us because you care about your droid too much.
Speaker: But I also don't really see how, for once, I don't see how Anakin's actions are the problem here. What other option did they have? R8 got R8 because it got eaten by a Gundark. Anakin's gotta stop coming to Vangor because this is now at least the third time he's gotten attacked by Gundarks. But they didn't really have any other options. So I don't know why Windu feels the need to be such a hater because I don't see him having any other plans.
Speaker: They have the droid and that's it. He needs to be a hater because he needs to feel morally superior. Because he needs to feel that his moral and like mental rigidity is worth it. Yeah.
Speaker: I do love that R2 is just fucking homo-loning bounty hunters. Yeah, he's getting up to shenanigans. Making traps and dropping shit and causing problems and dropping grenades on their heads. Trying to run up to, um I think it's one of the Gundarks, with this little, I guess it's a box cutter attachment that he has, just going, in ki and it just pings off cause it does nothing.
Speaker: But he's trying. That's a brave little droid. Yeah. Yeah. Also, i love me some Plo's bros coming to the rescue. Yeah. And then we get a whole episode full of Plo Koon. And I love Plo Koon.
Speaker: For reasons established earlier in this episode. But like, aside from the voice, he's a cool character. so season two episode 22, Lethal Trackdown. Very straightforward. Master Plo Koon and Ahsoka track down the hostages, which, by the way, Aura captured some hostages. It's not important.
Speaker: And capture Boba. So they're yeah trying to bait Windu with these hostages to draw him out because Windu doesn't hold a grudge against Aura. He goes, you know, whatever.
Speaker: You and your people tried to blow me up. but I am just going to recover here in my little medical bay and go do other stuff. But now I have to get involved again because there's hostages. But they don't even get him directly because they're getting Plo Koon and Ahsoka. But this time, when we go to the seedy underworld, we are wearing Jedi ponchos of disguise, as we should. But very pretty ponchos of disguise. Did you see the patterns? Yes, of course. I'm me. Of course I saw the patterns. They're lovely. They're very good ponchos. They're very, very pretty. They're not, yeah, they're not plain. They both have patterns.
Speaker: Plo Koon's is like a geometric Greek border. And Ahsoka has these repeating patterns around the bottom. very very pretty yeah um plow also has a couple of times we have a couple of close-ups of his face and he's got like patterning on his mask too like filigree details yeah and i i love like the you know add beauty to the to functionality Yeah, it's lovely.
Speaker: He's got good taste. He's a good guy. we we love, we love Plo. And he's a good teacher. Yeah. I'm glad that Ahsoka's learning from people other than Anakin in these episodes. Oh my god, yeah. At one point, Plo does call out, you've adopted many of your master's ways, including a lack of subtlety.
Speaker: And then at one point, you know, after after the events, they go into this into this bar and find out information. And afterwards, they have to back out holding their lightsabers because everyone's pointing guns at them because they got into a scuffle. And Plo is like, not very subtle, little Sokka. Which I love that he calls her little Sokka. It's so cute. I was just about to say that. I thought i was so cute because he's the one who brought her into the Order. And so, yeah, she's always going to be is his little baby.
Speaker: yeah My favorite part of this episode is when Aura brings Boba to go see Hondo Florham.
Speaker: And Hondo's reaction, looking at her, looking at the kid, not mine, I take it. How many kids does this man have?
Speaker: has he just lost track? How much unprotected sex is he having where he has an unknown potential number of progeny going, okay, this is a human.
Speaker: So probably not mine, but I should check. Are you here for child support? Yeah. Dude, you're not a human. Or a sing is not a human. The two of you together are not going to produce a human baby.
Speaker: i don't know. Maybe he's got a magic dick. Who's to say? My brain just ah filled that in with ah David Bowie magic dance, but with dick magic dick.
Speaker: Also, I love the way that introduction goes because I forget if it's immediately before or immediately after, but he is at the very least acting like he doesn't recognize Aura. It's 50-50 whether he actually does or not. But the way that she jogs his memory is by sloppily making out with him. And he goes, ah, yes, I remember.
Speaker: And that's really fun. Yeah. And he you can see his memory jog to, oh, yes, someone get her out of here right the fuck now.
Speaker: Yeah, she is a problem. ah um The music in Hondo's bar slaps. Yes, it's another banger. It's always really great. I love when we get to go to Hondo's bar.
Speaker: Yeah. And then when Plo Koon shows up, it's very Wild West vibes. You've got sort of the wind and the walk and talk and outside of the bar. And then we have the only table in the light that Aura Sing is already sitting at.
Speaker: There's a bell in the soundtrack. that's very wild west gunfight and the like slow pan up from plocoon's feet as he's walking along the wooden floor of the bar and the slow pan up as he then comes and slides into the barstool like that was this is a western moment yeah you know and then he you know says that We can do this the difficult way the simple way.
Speaker: The choice is yours. The other piece, because Hondo is like, yeah, I have no idea what she's doing. I'm walking you into a trap. I want you to know that I'm not involved. Basically, I don't need more of this. Yeah. I want her out of my out of my bar, out of my life.
Speaker: ah That was not the worst sex I've ever had, but it dear God, it wasn't good. or it was good, but it wasn't worth it.
Speaker: It was good, but it was attached to a problem, a very big problem. a Hondo is honto is kind to children.
Speaker: I liked that. i thought that his little moment with Boba where he's, Boba doesn't want to reveal the location of the hostages. And so Hondo, you know, appeals to his better nature and is talking about, you know, this is what your father would want. Your father would be proud of you for making this choice. And I thought that that was really nice.
Speaker: Yeah, I had sort of two thoughts on that, because ah when he introduces himself to Boba, he says that Django was an honorable man.
Speaker: But the way he said it was giving me very, you know, but Brutus says that he was ambitious. If it were so, it was a grievous fault. Grievously had Caesar answered it.
Speaker: But Brutus is an honorable man. So are they all, all honorable men. Over the course of Mark Antony's speech there, Antony repeatedly refers to Brutus as an honorable man. This is the Friends Romans Countrymen speech, for those of you who unfamiliar.
Speaker: The noble Brutus hath told you Caesar was ambitious. If it t were so, it was a grievous fault, and grievously hath Caesar answered it. Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest, for Brutus is an honorable man.
Speaker: So are they all, all honorable men. Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me. But Brutus says that he was ambitious.
Speaker: And Brutus is an honorable man. And over the course of this speech, Antony keeps referring to Brutus as an honorable man until by the end...
Speaker: Honorable is the worst slur that he could ever call Brutus. Yet Brutus says he was ambitious and sure.
Speaker: He is honorable man. I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke, but here I am to speak what I do know. You all did love him once, not without cause.
Speaker: um I love you, theater kid. Anyway, is this description of Jango as an honorable man, how true is this? what What does this actually say about resident scoundrel Hondo Onaka's opinions of Jango Fett?
Speaker: Hondo doesn't have honor. Hondo's got his own code to an extent, but he's perfectly willing to break boundaries, cause problems, kill people if it's profitable?
Speaker: what is What is his sense of honor and codes? you know And when he's talking to Boba at the end and convinces Boba... Tell the Jedi what he wants to know, Boba.
Speaker: It is the honorable thing to do. It's what your father would have wanted. Is it? Or are you trying to curry favor with the Jedi? Yes. Does it matter if it's providing comfort to Boba and getting him to do what is objectively the right thing?
Speaker: Who cares? Well, and that's the other question. Does it serve another purpose of... you're in this underworld. If this kid survives, he's going to be a fucking force to be reckoned with. And it would be really helpful if he thinks of you kindly. Yeah.
Speaker: Hano Onaka is a complex character and I love him. is so great. I hate his horrible little monkey parrot thing, but that's just because I really don't like monkeys. That's a subject for another time. I think they're very scary.
Speaker: But they do take Boba into custody. And to his credit, he sticks to his guns. When he's captured, he tells Windu that he'll never forgive him. And I think that's fair. Windu's like, you will one day.
Speaker: i don't think he will. i think if somebody beheaded my dad in front of me, i don't think I would forgive them. think that was kind of a dick move on mace's part that's you didn't need to say that it's another one of sort of mace's like stick in the mud rigid moral compass characterization moments mace says you know like you will have to forgive me because obviously that's the only way to be you know the jedi way is absolute and
Speaker: and though Jedi do not deal in absolutes, like his solution is to imprison this 10-year-old kid. He has Boba marched off in handcuffs alongside Bosk, this fully adult bounty hunter.
Speaker: This kid's getting chucked in prison. This is a 12-year-old. How is he going get out? That's for another time. I'll be patient. Patience, my young Padawan, patience.
Speaker: If you move slow enough, you'll see the path before you. We'll see all of these characters again. one other voice from this batch of episodes that I recognized just was in the Bounty Hunters episode.
Speaker: The ah one of the townsfolk. I was like, that's a recognizable voice because it's Greg Baldwin, who you ah probably know better As Uncle Iroh in season three of Avatar. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. so Iroh was originally voiced by Mako Iwamatsu, who was a Japanese-American actor, credited primarily just as Mako.
Speaker: And after he died 2006...
Speaker: Greg Baldwin took over and was like, oh, that's like, that's Iroh's voice coming out of this little tiny little dino alien. Yeah, that's Uncle Iroh. And then was like, oh, it's actually it's actually Uncle Iroh.
Speaker: That ah whole thing about Iroh's original voice actor dying and then somebody else being replaced. I remember when that happened That was the first time that I was ever really aware of voice actors on a show being people and having things happen to them. Because I was watching The Last Airbender as episodes were coming out. Mm hmm.
Speaker: And word got around on the playground about the voice actor dying. And so that was a very formative media literacy moment. in that last episode dedicated to him, Leaves on the Vine is the most devastating one.
Speaker: the The most devastating episode of television I think anyone has ever put out. I still think about that song he sings occasionally. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: So listeners, if you just want to end things on a real bummer note, but there's new and exciting suffering awaiting us next time. Yeah. So next time I'm so deeply, deeply excited that we get to go to Mandalore.
Speaker: Woo. So next time. And this is one of the only places in our coverage of Clone Wars that I have departed from the chronological order, the episodes. And so I can stick all of the Mandalore episodes into one one discussion.
Speaker: So next time we will be covering season two, episodes 12 through 14, the Mandalore plot, Voyage of Temptation, and Duchess of Mandalore, followed by...
Speaker: Season 3, episodes 5 through 7, and Season 3, episode 2, Corruption, The Academy, Assassin, and Ark Troopers, of which five of those are Mandalore-featured episodes.
Speaker: Exciting. So we started this podcast discussing the Mandalorian. so now we're going to see a very, very, very different picture. of Mandalorian Mandalorians.
Speaker: I can't wait because you told me that the Mandalorians got fucked up and something changed. And so i want to know what they were like before. Yeah. Watching this, knowing things about the Mandalorian, they are completely unrecognizable.
Speaker: So if you want to hear us talk about probably one of the most interesting groups in Star Wars, you can come back next time. We release every other Tuesday, every two weeks.
Speaker: If you simply cannot wait that long, we have a pretty extensive backlog of Lord of the Rings episodes, of Murderbot episodes, of Star Wars episodes now, and of episodes that deal with none of those things at all.
Speaker: So... You can listen to any of our backlog. You can subscribe to our podcast and get notified as soon as the new episode drops. Usually I release them on Tuesday mornings. We're currently recording this on a Tuesday evening and I need to release the episode for today.
Speaker: so that's happening. After this and after I eat something. You can also follow us on our social media. We are at FanAppPod wherever you can find us on various social media websites.
Speaker: I think our Tumblr is kind of a great time. And honestly, in this day and age of social media fuckery, Tumblr's somehow the last bastion of like decent social media. It also collects...
Speaker: way less personal data than any other any other web website you know, if you use YouTube while logged in, you don't have to worry about whatever Tumblr's doing with your data.
Speaker: but If you'd like to interact with us, you can interact with us on any of our social media. But if you'd like a response in a timely manner, the best way to do that is to get in contact with us at our email, thefandomapprentice at gmail.com.
Speaker: Send us an email there. i can promise a response within three business days. I check that email every day. If you like what you're hearing, leave us a five-star review. Leave us a comment. Leave us a written review.
Speaker: Most importantly, talk about us to your friends. Word of mouth is the best way for a small podcast like us to spread. And until next time, may the force be with you. See you next time. Bye.
Speaker: The Phantom Apprentice is produced and edited by Rin and Sam. Our music is composed and performed by James. You can find more of his work on Spotify and Bandcamp under Baeruz, B-A-E-R-U-Z.
Speaker: Our art is by Casey Turgeon. You can find more of her work at KCT Designs on Instagram. The content discussed is the property of the original copyright holders and is used here under Fair Use.
Speaker: My name is Rin. I'm one of your hosts. I have a well-documented voice kink, and that'll become relevant today. ah No, we're starting again. There's there's your ah stinger.
Speaker: Also, since we're putting this in the stinger, I can call you out. When you were initially, and this is lovingly because I love you and this is funny, ah but when you were initially saying that a few minutes ago, You were clearly recalling memories of better voices than the one you were describing because the dreamy look in your eyes was so good.
Speaker: yeah It was like, oh yeah they're they're remembering a good one, I can tell.
