Transcript
Speaker: Good. Good. So good. Good. So very good.
Speaker: Welcome to the Good GM's podcast. I'm Ian Morris, and today's episode is How to Train Your Players. And now, here's Chuck and James.
Speaker: Hello and welcome to another ah Well, let's see Hopefully my fingers are crossed for great Or spectacular But I'll settle for good yeah Episode of Good GMs um i'm I'm James I'm whole i'm ah i'm i'm i'm co-hosting this m Good, this is great I'm really doing well We are doing we great today No, no, it's fine We will catch on the stick You take over Hi, I'm Chuck E.T. Welcome to the show And James what would you like to talk about today? What's on your brain? We got, we got some stuff I want to talk about today, but you're jumping, you're jumping straight to the, to the goods here. What, uh, any new updates on what you've been playing? Uh, any games you've been doing different or.
Speaker: Oh my gosh. Oh, my players are very happy with my ETU campaign. We have jumped back to our quotequ quote, unquote, uh, normal character main storyline. Yes.
Speaker: No more flashbacks. There was a couple episodes that I had, uh, because you know, shh surprise, everything I'm putting out, I've already recorded like five years ago.
Speaker: Not everything, but yes, a lot of what you're doing. Pretty close. But yeah, but there was, ah there were two episodes, two stories, two stories. ah that I did not have all of the episodes.
Speaker: So the my players were gracious enough to go back and take over the roles for those characters and allow me to re-record, yeah go in, and here we go. And they made their own decisions based on those character choices. yeah when You didn't give them scripts?
Speaker: No, no, nope. And you know what? Honestly, it went... pretty much exactly the same as how it was originally recorded. So I was happy. I was happy with that.
Speaker: Today's episode is about railroading. No, I'm just teasing. I was like, oh, okay, cool. ah But yeah, no, so they're very happy. Very happy to get back to the you know the characters that they that they made.
Speaker: Yes. and Yeah. No, no. We all love that. We all love that. How about you? I haven't played much new lately. I mean, I think we I've already talked about some of the games that I'm like, I've just become busy boy because every other Monday I'm starting an in-person game of, ah oh,
Speaker: Oh, what is it called? Oh, um oh ah like D&D Old School Essentials, OSSE. So roughly based on like, um I guess, second edition D&D or something. I don't know. I'm learning stuff and I want to try it. The guy's running this. this You know what? What's that? Hold that thought just for two seconds. oh Okay. Are you going to show me some books? promise. I'll be right back. Oh, okay. because I'm going to fill time. You mentioned Old School. on I'll be right back.
Speaker: Okay, well, the guy, you can't hear me. I don't know what to do right now. i Chuck, okay, I'm just going to play the theme song.
Speaker: I don't like editing, dude. You're screwing this up for me.
Speaker: i and This isn't good. this isn't good. is bad. This is bad This is bad Okay, I'm sorry. I was excited. This is bad pod, what you've done here. This is bad. gotta edit now. I don't like that. know. No, you can keep running. Just keep running. Because eBay, old school stuff, right?
Speaker: Yeah. Oh, nice. You picked that up. Oh, no, I've had this for years. for the Yeah. So what about eBay? You're going to sell it? Yeah, going to sell it. Oh, okay. Right on. So we'll do it as a giveaway. Patreon supporters. I'm kidding. No, don't you dare. Don't you dare. But yeah, but but I love that.
Speaker: I love the fact that you're going back to it. And I hope it's i hope it's similar to this. I've never really looked at it. It's some 1982 campaign written by Gary Gygax. And it's like caverns of something, something.
Speaker: ok And I don't know anything about it. So no spoilers. Yeah. No, no, no. But but it's going to be fun. And it's in person. It's it's in ah in ah in about a half an hour away town. But, you know, and then Tuesdays, of course, are, are you know, Massonare Lethotep. I run that. Wednesdays, I've started playing in a band. i mean I'm sorry. I'm live action role playing. My character is a guitarist named James.
Speaker: ah It's very low. low ah There's no dice or anything. It's all just role playing. I've got good skills, though. I've got really good points in in guitar. um And then Thursdays is my alternating in-person, like Daggerheart and HeroQuest.
Speaker: And then in a couple of weeks, I'm starting my my live ah live stream of mass of Monster Hunters Club on Friday nights. So I'm a busy boy. For some reason, gaming has become everything.
Speaker: That's exciting because you're going to be jumping Twitch, right? Yeah, we'll be jumping on Twitch. So we'll be doing that. I'm aiming like this episode and probably air after it's already started. but I'm aiming to start around mid August. So that's that's pretty cool. That's wicked. Cool. Congratulations. Yay. Busy, busy. But that said, i still love recording this and, and, and I guess, I guess going to be doing a lot of playing as well as a lot of running. And as a player, one thing I hate being is a problem player. Ooh, what, what a segue James, what a great segue. Um,
Speaker: So we could make a list. We could spend this whole episode talking about like 10 worst players. No, no, no. That's been done. That's been done. That's been done and done very well. yeah you Google it, there's a lot of them. Like check out Seth Skorkowsky has a whole series. Yes. um Yeah.
Speaker: But what I wanted to talk about today is picking three general categories. Okay. Discussing those, but also discussing as good GMs.
Speaker: what What can we do? what it How much of it is is our fault? How much of it can we kind of shrug off our shoulders? And how much of it can we accept before we have to make a you know, a decision, right? like Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. Cause that, that's, that's, that's always the hard part, you know, cause you, you never want to sit down on the table and immediately you, and you should never sit down at the table and immediately start with negative vibes. I know that sounds hippy dippy, but it's true. It really is. It's very true. You always want to sit down with no storytelling.
Speaker: Right. Yeah, it's communal. And it's not like like back in the old school essentials days when it was just like when it was a lot of DM versus player and everybody came there with the express purpose of winning the game. yeah Things have changed a lot. Yes. The rules have changed a lot. Gaming has changed a lot.
Speaker: It's inclusive. It's it's it's exciting. It's it's fun. And it's about creating something together, playing pretend as adults. Yeah, re recapturing that childhood. ah so So, yeah. um So which one do you want to talk about first? Let's let's let's let's address the the three um the three topics and then go go through them. So there's, in my in my opinion, there's there's so the one I think if I fought felt fall into one, it and you two probably actually, um is is is is without any effort on our behalf as good players, we could easily be spotlight hogs.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. um And I'm not just talking about wanting to be on camera because just at a table without cameras around, just hanging out with your friends or online, you're you're still you're still maybe the first one to jump in um to take over a scene, to tell every other player, like, I do this. I bulldoze a lot when I'm playing communal board games as well. I tend to be like, okay, so if on your turn, you make the move here and then you trade your cards with him and then he does this, we could win this game. You know? Ha ha ha ha! But that's not, that's not good player.
Speaker: no a No, no, no, no. That's, the that's the other things is, um, you know, if when, when you and I first started, when we sat across from each other for the first time and you had said, you're ah you're a, you're DM, right? Right. room that Right. Um,
Speaker: you know, I was like, Oh, he's Oh, I, you know, my initial pressure was like, Oh man. And then I saw somewhere that it's like a DM being a player can either be really good or really bad. There's rarely, is there anyone in the middle?
Speaker: Yeah. you're, you, you know, thankfully you're one of the good ones. I've been doing it a couple of years. I've been doing it a couple of years. Yeah. But see, that's the problem. And that's why when you talk about the spotlight hog, it I can see a lot of GMs when they when they flip to being a player. And it's very important to be a player.
Speaker: Don't always be the universal GM. Just turn around, be the player. Sit on the opposite side. That's how you will learn. You'll learn from other GMs. Enjoy the ride. yeah Yes, yes. And yeah that's partly why like I'm doing all these games. like this This OSE game is run by a guy who's whose name is literally, last name is Awesome with an H. And everybody tells me, like the when I first moved up here, everybody's like, you know Johnny? you've got to play with Johnny. You should play with Johnny. So, you know, like for me, learning how to play as a player from a good GM gives me an opportunity to to try the trick of doing.
Speaker: Yes, learn. Learn from it. ah so So the other two yeah um distracted players, yeah um ah which I will also lump in there, distracting players. Oh, okay.
Speaker: We're talking focus. We're talking focus. yeah And then and then the the last one is the, i've I've classified as the reluctant adventurer, but that could be an edge lord, that could be a loner, the character who wants to come and say, well, I want to make a simple farmer. I don't want to go on adventures. There's a lot of... oh You know, like, well, why are you playing? But so what can we, well, how do we identify? What what could be the reasons for this, these three types?
Speaker: And what can we as good GMs try to do to fix the problem, eh? And then maybe as we get through the conversation, figure out when the time is to say, you know, hey, Bob, maybe you find a different table.
Speaker: which Right, right. so and Yeah, and that should always be the the the last resort is it's hard to find players, man. it it, it can be, can be, not know like just online. It's hard, but imagine you lived in a small town and you know, you only have a handful of people who are willing to try it.
Speaker: How do you kick someone out of your table and they're ruining you and the three other people who in in town who want to try it? They're good. Yeah. And see, and that's the thing um that, you know,
Speaker: ah kid kids, kids younger than us, you know, that didn't grow up in the era that you and I did where that was the problem.
Speaker: That is the only problem. There's no internet. together they're What? What's that? What the heck is the internet? you You better make yourself some good friends, right? big lie but I mean, I would say there was the internet. It was just BBSs, which if you don't know what a BBS go. more yeah yeah Yeah, go Google it. Google it.
Speaker: You're right. But, but yeah, but so that's, that's, that is the problem. And nowadays though, there's it's still a problem because even with this, just absolutely phenomenal connective tissue that everybody now has still, all still, uh, can we say problem or do we have to say challenge or opportunity? Yeah.
Speaker: but crazy know i you knowity But yeah, so, so, um man. So wow let's start with the spotlight hog. Like we we can, we can describe them. We've done, we've done that. Let's, let's talk about solutions here. Like, like how, let's say you have a player at your table and we've all had it.
Speaker: who Who doesn't seem to want to share the scene or let other people take over the scene. um How can we encourage that? How can we... Like, obviously, we've talked about the idea of using bennies to say, I'll give you a Benny if you shut up for 10 minutes.
Speaker: I'm not suggesting that's the right behavior. Right. right it What do you do? Because ah yeah as as the GM, you are moderator. Right. So...
Speaker: right so Unfortunately, you have the nasty job of trying to, at first, politely tell someone, that's great.
Speaker: Hold on one second. We'll come back to that. h i need i need i need I need to go someone. and it It is okay to tell someone that. It is. you have to take control. And that's really the that's really the easiest answer to it, I think, is you have to be able to say,
Speaker: you know Hey, Bob, I appreciate your enthusiasm. like I want you to keep that enthusiasm up, but I also want you to understand that that that so Sarah and... and and Kylie need to play. Jamil want to play as well. They're here.
Speaker: So I need to go to someone else and we'll come back. you know If they're all in the same scene and the one person's just bouncing over top of everybody, you'd be like, oh, that was great. Hold on a second and go along the other players. I've had the people who are like, like okay, so here's the scene where you guys are at the in the shed out back and you're in that scene. And now I'm going to go back to the people in the front of the house and you're not in that scene. So don't like I've had players go, well, well okay, i I would, I'm going to run over there. And I'm like, no, you don't know that this is happening and you can't just be in that scene too.
Speaker: Yeah, you know, but but that happens. It happens. And again, i ah i think i think so. I talked to you about this a little bit last night on the phone. And one thing I told you was how much I love playing with you at my table.
Speaker: And the biggest reason for that is, yes, you have a really good skill for knowing when to use your enthusiasm to move the story forward, but also how to use that enthusiasm to move the story forward to include other players in the scene. So you're the first one to be like, you know what? This sounds like something that you know what to do about Archie. Archie, what do we do here? Yes. that It's very important that as as a player that you you're paying attention to the other players. You're paying attention to you know them as people, but also as what's sitting in front of them.
Speaker: and to under in And to look at you know the strengths, the weaknesses, and to be willing to drag them in the spotlight with you.
Speaker: h And to do that, to give you because it's important to build the story and to you know bring them with you. Like, hey, yeah, you know if there's a private detective like like Archibald is to, okay,
Speaker: Yeah, me as the player, i might be looking, oh man, oh okay, okay, that was it. that that This is the answer. This is it. But then you have to stop and go, is my character really going to know that?
Speaker: Or am I the right one to have seen Exactly. yeah Right. and be And be willing to push it on to somebody else. to Bring it up. Hey, hey you know like i don' I don't understand this part here. um hey Georgie, you you you yeah you look at these picture things, right? What is this stuff?
Speaker: ah What is this? oh Yes, Finn, darling. Those are hieroglyphics. yeah Calm down. Let me walk you through this. you know but It gives them an opportunity to showcase it. So how do you encourage a player to do that? right I guess you could give them and that example.
Speaker: You could give them that example by saying, you know maybe like i think as well, you have the right as the GM to talk to people outside of the game. you yeah You don't want to necessarily call people out on their stuff in the game. i've learned So a completely unrelated to gaming, but completely related to literally everything is there are people in this world who, who lack the ability to self reflect and acknowledge their own mistakes. And then there are those people who can do that, but are reluctant to, especially if it means admitting that they are are wrong in front of people, especially. So there's a very good tactful skill that we have in life when we're talking to people about politics or we're talking to people about this and that, or the other thing, but especially since we're GMs and talking about gaming,
Speaker: Yes. How do you get that, like that level of empathy that you can acknowledge that they maybe be can't accept yet that they are wrong? How do you, how do you help them to do that? And I think sometimes that's an aside and sometimes that's a stroking of their ego. Like, you know what, dude?
Speaker: One thing I love about you is how enthusiastic you are and how much I love how you could use that enthusiasm to help bring some of the other players out. Like, you know that Dave's not really as excited as you. You know, sometimes he feels maybe that he's a bit shy. Wouldn't it be cool if you could help him and then we could get him into the team too and everybody's working as hard as you are?
Speaker: Right. yeah Yes. you know Yes. There, there are a lot of times with that conversation is necessary, you you know, because yeah, the spotlight is just that there are people that just really, really want to be on that for another, you know, and you also got look at it is,
Speaker: And it's been branching away from this a little bit more, but a lot of us that play this game are socially awkward creatures. Yeah. And so yeah we have a lot of neurodivergent with a variety of exactly adventures that they're on.
Speaker: Exactly. And so if this is for whatever reason, and if this is their only opportunity to get that kind of attention, it can be addictive.
Speaker: Yeah. And the, you know, the so it's very strong possibility that they're doing it and they may not even know it. Yeah. So yeah, you're absolutely right. Have that aside.
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Speaker: right on friday nights good gms on twitch look for good gms podcast and be there and get some pizza so let's let's take a look at the second one because i think that makes a good point speaking of the neurodivergence let's talk about the distracted or the distracting player another another category i can fall into i tend to be the guy that makes a joke whenever there's an ah opportunity to do that even when it's not appropriate the scene i could also be the guy that like i i'm i'm not as distracted while I'm gaming as I am in other activities. Like I love my phone. I love, like I can watch, have the great ADHD superpower that I can be watching TV while doing dishes. I can be watching TV. Well, I can follow everything that's happening in a movie while I'm also playing like, you know, a candy crush type game. um Our sponsor today, by the way, is not candy crush. so Red juice studio for all your podcasting needs. No, but, is wreck but so,
Speaker: A quick story. I have this one player who was constantly on her phone. Right. It's like so from an an immediate perspective, my thought was I'm losing her. i have to somehow yeah bring her back into the story. Yeah. But having talked to her about it, she she'd be sitting there playing, tapping the phone and she'd be doing like a coloring game.
Speaker: Like a game with, it you know, you have to change the color and then click on the space. It's like a color by numbers. And when I talked to her about it, she goes, I need this so that I can pay attention to this. yeah Because if I'm not doing this, i my brain is a thousand other places.
Speaker: And then I will be the distracting player because I will be. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Absolutely. That's an acceptable.
Speaker: Speaking of distracting players, my cat is just obsessed with being on camera today. Come on, babe. Come on. Come on. Well, the the other one is, you know, all cats are autistic. All dogs are ADHD. The other one is, you know, the, the classic player that wants to stack dice.
Speaker: Okay. Okay. I mean, because to me, that's going back. Well, not with the incorrect D4s. Yeah. See? Anyway, hush up. Moving forward. ah but But yeah, right? yeah but But for me, going back, that's what was that person that was sitting there and they're stacking the dice and it would irritate the living crap out of me.
Speaker: But now looking back at it us it, like, oh, yeah, that's why... They're still in it. They're still, they're still paying attention. They're still listening, but that's just what they need. They need to be doing something fidget spinners, um, the phone thing. That's great. Now, if, you if you've got to if for whatever reason you've done your, your turn,
Speaker: And you have that little mobile game. And as long as you're actually paying attention and it's not loud and you're just sitting you know, just tap, tap, tap, tap. As long as you're not loud, as long as you're not distracting everyone, go for it.
Speaker: I get it. ah Trust me. I get it. Nassadio Lathotep. We have a commentary. I don't know how you guys pay attention when I check out the new commentary. That's something. we we We have a section in myself and the other players. It's just literally GIF after GIF or GIF after GIF.
Speaker: of of whatever's happening in the moment, but yeah but it's what's happening in the moment. So I look back at it and go, this is a great recap of the story, but also they're obviously paying attention because how do you put, how do you find that, that Jeff fast enough to.
Speaker: Oh yeah. Yeah. And we're going to hear the comments. Cause I say jack come Jeff, gift that's right. Fight me. But, but yeah, but that helps me because now as it's going, I'm also thinking as a player, I'm thinking, okay, I'm,
Speaker: That's interesting. What could happen if if I did this or what could happen if I did this? And I see this, how am I going to bring this together? So yeah, absolutely. Well, and you know what? I'll tell you what, um one of the, one of my solution ideas to that is give somebody a task.
Speaker: You've got a player who's not able to keep focused when they're not the center of the scene. Make them the DJ. Make them the note taker. Make them the the person whose job it is to like, I don't know, like draw the character photos.
Speaker: like you know the you know Or something like that. like it's yeah It's amazing like when you have somebody who's artistic and distracted easily, get them to draw the characters. They would love that. Little sketches.
Speaker: Little sketches. get and Take notes. Make sure we're all aware so that next game, you know i'll get and and I'll give you a betting. I'll give you some luck points. I'll give you a bonus. what i or If there's any in-game currency, here you go. you know If there's not any in-game currency in the game, make some. It's okay.
Speaker: You know, just figure it out. Yeah, but no, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And then there's the edgelord. There's the reluctant player. I don't know. I don't want to put like, I mean, murder hobos again. I don't even love that term because it's an actually an offensive term.
Speaker: um If you think about the origin of the hobo is an under housed individual. But let's let's leave that one aside because that's a character. And and then obviously the abusive person, the the person who is a bully, this is these are these are people we're not talking about today.
Speaker: Like we'll we'll come back to the people who are ruining the game. And right we're really focusing on, on the ones, the ones that we can help. um yeah And so what do we do about the guy that that's like, oh yeah, my character, my character doesn't have a partner.
Speaker: My character, my character can do it all alone. Or like the one that's like, I just wanted to be a farmer. So i do why do I, why would I go in a dungeon? Why would you play dungeons and dragons then?
Speaker: Oh, okay. Right, right, right away. And I know lot, some people might get a little pissy about this, but cause I know I, I would have, cause well, when I first started, there was no session zero, you know, you just got some things together and they, you know, people, if someone said, I want to play a new character, they're okay, fill off the character sheet and then we'll talk about it, you know? and And then, and then real, and then real quick,
Speaker: we if If I saw any red flags, it'd be like, yeah, hold on a second. it to Real quick and then roll. Nowadays, it's it's important and it's good. It's very good to have the session zero. And we we talked about this in our last recording. It it wasn't our last episode, but but we've already done our session zero episode. Right. And that's a variety of reasons, but this is one of them.
Speaker: This helps with that because if someone says, I just want to make a farmer. Why would I? Okay. Well, then no defense don't join my space faring adventure. Yeah. This is like one. The first thing I say to all all new players is your job, your job to figure out why this person is going to continue.
Speaker: yeah It's your job. Yeah. You know, if something happens during the we're playing a zombie outbreak. Don't be the the person who's like, why would I want to help? i want I want to hide. Like, then play a different game. like Right. yeah Yes. As a player and as a GM,
Speaker: You're trying to, you're you're making sure you're giving those, those hooks out. So the players are providing that. And the person that says, I have no family. I have no this. It's like, Hmm. Okay. One of my stipulations is you had to have one of those.
Speaker: Oh, so I, ah I need it. I, as the GM. So part of it maybe is reminding them that this is what we're doing together and getting their buy-in. Yes. Right. If you can get their buy-in, if you can say, look, what we're doing is this communal storytelling yeah to allow me to give your character things to do that, yes that, that keep them in the, in the story. Right. I need you to give me these, these knives that we talked about in a previous episode. Yes. So, um or, or like you said, you know, like you could, you could say like, so here's, here's my story. Every character is playing a an 11 year old in the small town, you know, don't come to me and say, well, I wanted to play a, you know, a retired, like, can I play like a mature sixth grader? Like, no, no.
Speaker: Like, you know, we're buying into this. We're all buying into this. Right. um You know, and... We're we're all we're all playing dwarves. Don't make the elf. Yeah.
Speaker: Right? Don't that. Unless it's agreed on by everybody that you're the elf who was, ah like, adopted by the dwarves or thinks he's a dwarf or something. But, yeah, don't make don't make a character that doesn't fit the story if, like, we all agreed to do this story. And that would remember how we all bought into that and we all agreed? Yes. But...
Speaker: but and think So that's one thing, but then but then, like I said, there's the edgelord, the character who like who wants to be Batman in in in the in the Justice League, but even Batman knows when it's time to let Superman and Wonder Woman yeah to join them on their adventures.
Speaker: Yes, Batman is amazing in that series because even though he does, oh, I'm dark and mysterious and I'm alone, it's like he's alone. I can beat up so many people. And the bottom line is with Batman, he doesn't want to be alone.
Speaker: Well, and he knows he knows his limitations. He knows that when he's fighting crime in Gotham, he knows he can do it by himself. But when he's dealing with galactic threats, he's the guy at the computer. Yes. Finding weaknesses. yes like you know Yes.
Speaker: And so yeah so, yeah, don't do that. ah Find a way that your character, like find a way that your that your player's character is needed in the big group parts of the story.
Speaker: Yeah. Yes, absolutely. And when when it in when it comes to... ooh because Here's a thought. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.
Speaker: What about giving that character a responsibility suddenly? Like the Lone Wolf and Cub situation. you're okay like like Give them an NPC that because they refuse to be a part of the group is dead now or is is is is injured now.
Speaker: Because you didn't you weren't a team player. So now now your character has a reason for a story arc. Right. and And explain it to them. Explain it to them. Don't do it manipulative, but explain. now yeah yeah i don't don't Don't just spring that on them. No, but I just mean like in a story where your character is a loner, let's accept that your character is a loner and find a way for him to evolve. Even Wolverine has that moment where he's like, all right, Bob, fine.
Speaker: fastball special right like yes exactly exactly and if that and that's the thing ah you know like like i said because uh there was oh there there there was a story not too long ago where i i gave a player uh this the story arc and the player just did not engage with it at all. And it to me, it felt like I was pulling teeth.
Speaker: yeah And finally, it got to the point where it's like, okay, you know what? I need to put this to bed and I need i i need to move on because there's this... Your lost puppy is just going to stay lost, I guess. Yeah, it's a samurai. This is gone. ah you know in And there's a lot of times as a GM, you just need to accept that and move along. Because it's not like that player wasn't engaged in the story. The player was engaged in the story, but when it came...
Speaker: you know, when it came to this one part, it was just absolutely reluctant to jump. Was it necessary for you? Like, I mean, I don't know your story. I mean, I do, I do, but I don't want to, i don't want to talk about that. But ah what I mean is like, when you say I gave them this storyline, m is there, maybe there's, there's, there's one thing we can look at as a, as a GM, like,
Speaker: how do we let the player come up with this? You know, that's like, like, I'm not saying like, if i mean that was my mistake, that was my mistake is that I, I didn't like right away say, Oh, Hey,
Speaker: but ah But also in hindsight, I did. i did. Because again, you know, and i and I fall back on this a lot because the session zero, I know.
Speaker: But I do remember during that, it was emphasized repeatedly about this. And but fair they they just they just didn't grab it.
Speaker: And sadly, it's like, okay, I'm just... going to move on. going to move on. And so it's okay. It's a, it was a subplot. So that's fine. and I think, I think that, think that we've kind of covered what we can on those three topics in the sense that I think overall, we, we kind of hit on the idea of like knowing when it's time to, to, to move on. And and I actually don't think that any of these topics,
Speaker: have have led to the the nuclear option. But like if you do find that you've worked you've tried your best to to bring a a lone wolf into the into the pack or a distracted player to like curb their enthusiasm or you know whatever the third one was, ah the spotlight hog to like share the share like share the spotlight,
Speaker: be honest, be blunt. Think of it as a breakup. like to Tear off the Band-Aid. yeah sadly Don't so beat around the bush. Don't change the date of the game and not tell them. Don't susan you know do it by text oh wait that's personal that's um but yeah but do it by text but whatever right all all all three of the spotlight hog the distracted player the reluctant adventure all all of those can be mediated yeah it's the bullies and the and the assholes that you can't really yeah but we won't talk about them today i don't think we have time for that no we don't have time for that
Speaker: Because, yeah, though those are just, man, those are almost instant. For me, those are almost instant. No, you need to go. Well, and again, I just i know we all live in the perfect world of of a trillion players available to you at any moment. But yeah sometimes we live in a world where that asshole or bully is actually what you can think of as your best friend. And maybe you want them to play with you because you want them to like you.
Speaker: So we got to be careful, right? Like, let's assume that, you know, yes, if you, if you have the ability to tell them to, to take a hike, fine, you know? Yeah. But yeah that's another day. Another topic yes today. Yes. Yes. I think my big takeaway is always, I mean, we, we, I think we, we had the silent player episode where we talked about always give them the benefit of the doubt. Yeah. And I think it's the same for this one. It's, it's,
Speaker: Understand that we're all on our own journeys in life. not like I've definitely been through my journey of not being able to self-reflect. And I think the easiest way to help somebody accept that they're a problem is to do it with with empathy and compassion in the sense that put yourself in their shoes and figure out what would, it what would it take for you to be able to look and say, look in the mirror and go, Hmm, I am, I'm not perfect, but, but I can be good. You know, like this that's, that's from my, that's my takeaway. I don't know if you've got something to add. uh, I've, I've heard a few times before and, uh, was like, you know, just, you just need to have that grown up conversation.
Speaker: Mm. you know, that, that adult conversation and, you know, just look at it and be like, Hey, this is this is what's going on.
Speaker: And here we go. And, and see, see where that falls out and, you know, go from there. But yeah, you're absolutely correct. You know, compassion isn't is necessary.
Speaker: You know, we're not here to be schmoes about things and just be like, hey, I don't like how you play. Get out of here. It's like, no, no, no. Maybe it's you. That's the other side of it. Maybe it's you.
Speaker: Yeah. Maybe it's not. What is it? If you meet three a-holes by noon, chances are you're the a-hole. There go. Thanks for watching. Hey.
Speaker: No, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good mic drop right there. If you can't be perfect and you don't want to be an a-hole, you can't. And bluttered.
Speaker: Thank you for watching. If you like or dislike what you heard, let us know. If you want to suggest an idea for an episode, ask the host a question, or just tell Chuck and James what you really think of them, join our communities at patreon.com forward slash good GM's podcast, or find us on the usual social media platforms.
Speaker: For now, I'm E.E. Morris, and you're all good GMs.
Speaker: We are so grateful to all of our Patreon supporters. At the gooder level, Weird Candy.
Speaker: Yes, E.E. Morris. I put my own money to back our projects because we're all good GMs.
