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The Payback
47 Plays2 years ago
Journalist Benita Alexander reveals how she fought back after discovering that her fiance, a famous celebrity surgeon, was lying to her about everything.
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Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
We're just like, charge his fucking card. Charge it. That was one of the moments where I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah. No, no, no, no. I was just like, bank charge. Bank charge.
Introduction to 'The Payback'
00:00:13
Speaker
This is episode three of Benita and the Baracas, the payback. This one is all about money. But before we dive in, a quick reminder about the story behind this podcast.
00:00:28
Speaker
Baraka is Colombian slang for a resilient woman who's been through something difficult but still stands strong. A Baraka is basically a badass.
00:00:49
Speaker
And after what I've been through, I am all about supporting badass women.
Benita's Engagement to a Con Man
00:00:55
Speaker
If you don't already know my crazy story, it's a love story. Gone horribly wrong.
00:01:03
Speaker
I was engaged to this guy, a famous surgeon and scientist who turned out to be a pathological con man. The story is insane and it's been told all over the world. Benita Alexander. Benita Alexander. Investigative producer. Who thought she'd be spending the rest of her life with Dr. McCree. It's been on ABC. I'm Whoopi Goldberg and this is The Con.
00:01:28
Speaker
the Dr. Oz show, the Dr. Death podcast, and I even made a film about it called, He Lied About Everything. And now I'm talking about it in my own podcast. In
Friends' Experiences with Paolo
00:01:41
Speaker
this episode, my best friend Nancy joins me again. And I'll also be chatting with two other dear friends, Tia and Alfred. Alfred is not technically a Baraka, but in the- Not just an acting label.
00:01:57
Speaker
So I'll embrace my feminine side for this interview. Good. I'm talking to my ride or dies, all the people that live this whole crazy mess with me, and you're one of them. Alfred used to own a Brooklyn hair salon, and that's where I first met him. I met Tia at a salon too, but our first interaction was a little different.
00:02:19
Speaker
I think we should start with the way we met, which we always joke about. Do we want to start with this? On this show we're being real. I don't think they read it. Maybe not. The short version is I had come to a salon to get a spray tan because I was performing in a dance show and they tell me that they have someone there that does waxes on. Do you need a wax? I'm like, actually I do.
00:02:46
Speaker
So they ask you, right, if you can wax me. If I remember, we go into this little, like, curtain area, and it was like, hi, hi, and it's always kind of weird when you're getting a wax, period. But then, and I always tell the story to people, the funny thing was, we're mid-wax, and all of a sudden you're like, okay, turn over, and I'm like,
00:03:06
Speaker
What? I think you said, like, get out of here and eat it. I was like, like, doggy style. And I was like, excuse me? Like her, you know what that is. I'm blushing even now, remembering it. But we were laughing, as we always laugh, and we just, like, hit it off. And then it just morphed into becoming really, really good friends.
00:03:30
Speaker
Like
First Impressions of Dr. Paolo Macarini
00:03:30
Speaker
everyone else, both Tia and Alfred were wowed when they first met my charming fiancรฉ, the so-called super surgeon, Dr. Paolo Macarini. And what really got them was his over-the-top romance.
00:03:44
Speaker
and he just came in like a knight in China armor, yeah. And on his white horse. Yeah, and you know, take you all over the place and you know, and I was like, well, girl, I want some of that. Girl, can you have him talk to my man, please? The constant shower, rose petals, and the over the top, everything was over the top. Always the best champagne, the best wine, the best hotel room, the best, like everything was,
00:04:14
Speaker
not just a surprise but like like every scene was like out of a movie like i literally felt like it was in a movie the whole time like he doted on you i mean he doted on
00:04:26
Speaker
All your friends. Yeah. Do you remember like you would come over here and he would cook up a storm, right? Yeah. He could throw a meal for us from scratch. And not just any meal, right? It was like lobster. I don't even remember what. And well-plated presentation. Oh, like the presentation. Everything was very beautiful. He was very gregarious and friendly and affable and the life of the party. And he loved to have fun and he loved to spoil everybody. And he would pay the bill and he'd cook all these big things.
00:04:54
Speaker
He didn't come across as a bullshitter. No. I mean, he seemed like a real deal. One funny story, he knew that you waxed him. Natalia. Yes. He was honestly, he has a lot of hair, and he was a hairy guy, and he wanted his ears and his nose waxed, and he kept saying, but it's really hard to find someone that could do it right, and I kept saying, well, why don't you ask Tia? Yeah. Ask Tia, and finally, I think you were here, and he just asked you. I was there, he just came out, and he was like, do you think you could wax my ears and my nose? I was like,
00:05:25
Speaker
Yeah, come on, you know how I am. I'm like, yeah, come on, just sit down, like, whatever. And I did it. And he was like, oh, yeah, this is good. Like, you know, but he is hairy. Like, the hair was, like, busting out of the ear and the nose. I was like, bro, you just should have a trimmer on hand. Like, you know, put that up. But he handed me, like, a $50 bill or something like that. It was like, here, you know.
00:05:49
Speaker
And I was like, don't worry about it. But he just, you know, out on the house. He was like, no, here. He was exceedingly generous. He was very generous, very generous.
Extravagant Wedding Plans Exposed
00:06:00
Speaker
When it came to our July 11th, 2015 wedding and our plan to move to his house in Barcelona after we were married, Paulo's generosity was on overdrive.
00:06:11
Speaker
Do you remember he kept inviting everybody? Yeah, like you could call him. Yeah, he was like, Tina, we'll fly you over. I was like. Yeah, take you out on my sailboat. Yeah, I was like, OK, let me know. So then, of course, there was for the wedding, there was this castle that he told you all you were staying in.
00:06:33
Speaker
the castle. I remember, I remember when you, you told me and you called me and I remember telling the kids and my husband at the time and we were just all running around doing the happy dance. We're like, we're going to a castle. What are we going to wear? We're going to a castle. You know, it was just like living, you know, living a different life. It was like,
00:07:00
Speaker
You know, oh my God, we're going to experience something we've never experienced before, you know? And he said he was paying for it for everybody for three days. I mean, that's not like hundreds of people to stay in this cancel for three days. Yeah, it was crazy. I had no idea how much Paolo was spending on our wedding because he insisted on doing all the planning and surprising me with almost everything. But I knew it was a lot.
00:07:29
Speaker
just money was just like, you know, money was raining. It wasn't money was a non issue. I mean, all the details were so
00:07:39
Speaker
Everything was so extravagant, right? And so over the top and there were going to be fireworks on the lake after midnight and he'd gotten the most expensive restaurant, exclusive restaurant in Florence to cater the wedding. Well, and I remember when I met him in New York, he was whispering in my ear, like all the things that he had planned that nobody knew about. There was going to be a horse and carriage involved. It's nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:08:03
Speaker
But I was just really happy for you because I knew you deserved that. And it was a matter of just really enjoying to see somebody that you love and care about being bestowed and treated that way. I was so happy for you. I was happy too. It really did feel like a fairy tale.
Revelation of Wedding Fraud
00:08:29
Speaker
So when I had to tell everybody that my generous Prince Charming was actually a fraud and nothing about our wedding was real, it was one hell of a shock. It's hard to believe that somebody with that stature tried to calm you. There was just no reason to doubt this guy at the beginning, right? No. Honestly, I would never in many years
00:08:57
Speaker
I wouldn't have, yeah, no, not at all. And that's the scary part, honestly, because- I know, in hindsight, that he was acting the whole damn time. And it was genuine, like, damn, like- I know, like, you're a good actor, and like, in the whole damn time, you knew you were lying. Right. Like, huge lies. Yes. He's still effing married, which means he could have never married me in the goddamn first place. It was so awful that it was...
00:09:23
Speaker
You took it this far, literally weeks before the wedding, and people had made plans, had bought tickets, had everything. And you let it go that far, and you let me quit my job. You let me pull my child out of school, and you know the whole damn time that none of this is ever going to happen. And it's all a lie. You're turning people's lives upside down. Like the slope.
00:09:53
Speaker
intricate, very calculated, really. Weaving of this little web of lies, it's so sick. I always compare it to like a spider weaving a web of lies. Oh yes, that's a classic con man. Here's the other thing, con men usually con you out of money. And he did not know about it. No, exactly. He was like a billion. Right. So what was his real agenda? I have no idea, no idea.
00:10:21
Speaker
Money was not his thing. Money was not, whatever it was, it wasn't money.
Motives Behind the Con
00:10:26
Speaker
Well, it doesn't fit the norm. It wasn't his motivation. So that's the thing. With most con men, most of these con men are after money. You know, a lot of these cams we hear about, you know, they're
00:10:40
Speaker
winding and dining one woman with the money they took from another woman or they're always after money and like this new show that's out, the Tinder Swindler that everybody's all gaga about and talking about. He's a piece of work. He took millions and it was the same thing. He's stealing from one woman, winding and dining the next woman because that impresses the woman and she thinks he really is the son of a billionaire diamond guy. Whatever, yeah.
00:11:11
Speaker
That's what's so confusing, not just for me, for everybody. So, and who knows? To this day, I don't know what his motive was, but once the gig was up, once things started falling apart and I called off the wedding, that's when it got interesting because then all of a sudden Mr. Generous didn't care about the 300 people that had spent, 300 plus people that had already spent money on plane tickets. Thousands of dollars, yeah. Thousands.
00:11:40
Speaker
you know, plane tickets, hotels, red carpet, dresses and attire. And I remember saying to him, what about all these guests? What about all my friends and family and all the money they spent? Oh, when this is all blows over, you know, we'll, we'll still get married and I'll fly everybody to Italy. And at that point, I knew the guy was lying through his teeth. And I'm like, okay, yeah, sure. He started crying broke. Whatever.
00:12:04
Speaker
Yeah, so here was the thing. Even though he was surprising me with everything and he was paying for everything, there were a few things that I paid for. Number one was my dresses because I didn't want him to know anything about the dresses. I wanted to surprise him and he wanted to be surprised. So we agreed that I would pay for the dresses and then he would pay me back. I had no reason to believe he wouldn't pay me back based on the way he was spending money. And then the invitations, that was the only other thing that I was doing was to pick out the invitations
00:12:30
Speaker
You know, he wanted a very elaborate invitation, but he said, just pay for it since it's in the US and I'll pay you back. So between the invitations and all the dresses I needed for all the fancy events, and then some other things, plane tickets I purchased, you know, for myself, some of the people in the wedding party, I was in it for about 50 grand. But all of a sudden, once the gig is up,
00:12:52
Speaker
Broke I'm broke. I had to I had to I had to reimburse the wedding caterer He said he spent like two million dollars, you know I mean I have this in text and in voicemails and the crazy thing is at this point I know the man is lying and he's tech texting. Whoa is me? I'm so break broke You know, I can't give you any money because you know I got to pay the wedding caterer and I got to pay this person and that person and I'm thinking you know
00:13:14
Speaker
fucking liar. I know I had already confirmed the caterer had never heard of him. There was no contract. There was none of these people. So now he's broke. Fucker. Yeah. I guess at that point, it's like any con man that's caught, right? Now I'm not on the fantasy train. So now I'm no good to you. That's where, again, it's like now you're bothersome. Now you're just annoying him because you're now not
00:13:42
Speaker
succumbing to Yeah, you're not fit in the mold. So I had lost money. And he didn't really seem to care. This was my first little like, okay, I'm gonna get you back moment. You know, screw you, you're claiming you're broken, you spent millions of dollars. I know you didn't spend a damn penny. I was mad as hell.
00:14:03
Speaker
This asshole was claiming he spent millions on a fake wedding that existed only in his sick head. It was time for payback.
00:14:25
Speaker
Yep,
The Payback Begins
00:14:26
Speaker
this is a story about paper towels and a whole lot of other stuff that you can buy online. So I kept hammering him, hammering him. I'm like, I'm broke. I have no job. I'm a single mom. And so at some point he had given me, I said, if you don't have any cash,
00:14:43
Speaker
give me a credit card that I can pay some things with. And he had said yes, and he gave me a credit card and told me to just tell him what I was using it for. And in my head, I'm thinking, okay, well, I can't pay my private investigator with a credit card, obviously. I can't pay my mortgage, which was like the big thing. What can I
00:15:02
Speaker
What can I do that makes sense? I talked to my private investigator about it at the time. I'm like, okay, he gave me a credit card and he said, what did he say you could use it for? He said, I could use it for whatever I want. The PI was like, okay. Go for it. Have fun.
00:15:22
Speaker
in this interesting position of like, okay, I have this credit card. I want to get whatever I can get, but I can't, I have to be really careful. That's where Tia came in. Yeah. I have to be really strategic. So one day I was talking to somebody and I said, I don't know what to do. And she's like, well, you can buy all kinds of stuff on Amazon and the person will just get a receipt that says from Amazon, it won't say what you bought. And so Tia was here at the house and I was like, Tia, we're going shopping.
00:15:52
Speaker
And this is before COVID, right? So, I'm literally on Amazon looking around the house like, okay, what do I need? Toilet paper. What sort of 40 rolls of toilet paper? I'm literally right. Paper towels. I'm like, wait, what about the disinfectant parts? Yeah, let's get some of those. So, it was like under $1,000 total. It wasn't like I went nuts. But for, I think it was like three days in a row,
00:16:15
Speaker
The door, they kept with the doorman, the bell kept ringing, I was like, you got another package. Well, it's kind of survival mode. It was survival mode at that point. Yeah. And it's not that it was about revenge, but just like, you know, screw you. So it was like household supplies, like toilet paper, medicine, toothpaste, vitamins, you know,
00:16:37
Speaker
I don't know, cleaning supplies. And then school supplies for just like notebooks, pens, all this. I bought a little stack of reporter's notebooks and that was for me for my investigative mission. And then there were some like
00:16:50
Speaker
funny and kind of fuck you items. I bought the blonde wig that I ended up wearing in Barcelona. I ordered that on his damn dime, some sexy lingerie. This perfume, he always, this is funny. There's this perfume that he wore and then I fell in love with it and then he started giving me the women's version of this perfume. He always claimed it was this fancy Russian impossible to get perfume. I mean, it's a beautiful perfume.
00:17:17
Speaker
Well, of course, now I find the perfume and it's not so hard to find because I found it on Amazon. Now it was not cute. I want to say that one was like $750 or something. Wow. I bought the perfume. Of course. Got to be smelling good. My favorite fuck you items, which were more just for the fun of it. I bought a big box of condoms. I'm like, all right, I'm single now and you're going to help me out. Yes, it is. Yeah, exactly.
00:17:48
Speaker
some batteries for the, you know. For that. For that. Yeah. That's hilarious. And I had to bring, I had piles of packages and I had so much fun opening those. And even with Jess, with my daughter, like we're opening the packages and I'm high fiving her and we're laughing. And I remember saying to Jess right then, I said, this is how you take your power back, you know? Good for you. And he never said anything, you know? I just texted him. I bought some stuff on Amazon. Okay.
00:18:17
Speaker
Yeah. So I was totally within my right to do it. So that was my first little kind of FU with the money. But then the big one was, of course, in Barcelona.
00:18:31
Speaker
I
Discovering Paolo's Secret Family
00:18:31
Speaker
had my little moment of shopping revenge on Amazon, but that was before I went to Barcelona and found out that my fiancรฉ was hiding a whole other family in the house where we were supposed to live after our wedding. And once I saw that, it was game on.
00:18:51
Speaker
I knew I had this tiny window. The wheels were turning. I'm like, I'm thinking he still owes me so much money. And once I confront him, I know I'm not getting that money back, right? So what can I do? What can I do? So I called my private investigator and I'm rattling off what I'm crying, rattling off what just happened. I'm going to confront him and I need to know how I can get my money back. And he said, you still have his credit card, right? Exactly. And I said, yes.
00:19:17
Speaker
And he said, is there anything you can charge on it? Or is there someone who can, you know, charge something on it and then give you the money? And I was like, ding, ding, ding, Tia. When Tia got the call from me, she was out shopping with her family. But it was a number that I didn't recognize because she was overseas. And literally when I picked up the phone, their voice
00:19:48
Speaker
whaling in the phone. Whaling, it was just like, it was really hurtful. It was just like, I had to walk away from my mom and my sister because I was like, what the eff happened? And you were like, it's two effing children, it's a woman. You were telling, I was like, get the fuck, I'm baffled and stunned hearing that. I was like, my friend is crushed right now.
00:20:18
Speaker
Like, she is really crushed. He literally just took the knife, put it in your heart and twisted it. That was just, it was very emotional. It was very emotional, very hard. But then I had to kick into... Because what did I say? What did I say? You were just like, charge his fucking card. Charge it. That was one of the moments where I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. And so Tia was supposed to be doing
00:20:46
Speaker
all kinds of beauty stuff for the wedding. She was on the wedding website and we actually did already owe Tia some money. So I called Tia and I'm like, listen, this just happened. Start charging his card and just put wedding expenses. And Tia was like, what, you know, and how much? I said, charge 2000. And if it goes through, just keep going. No, you said five. I said five. You said charge 5,000 in the queue.
00:21:08
Speaker
going just keeps charging until you can't charge anymore. Right. So that's what I did. And meanwhile, we're in McDonald's in Europe. And we're just like, it was almost like there was an auction. We're like, can you get $5,000? $5,000? Do I hear $5,000? All right, go for $4,000. Go for $4,000. OK, go $3,500. I was just like, bank charge, bank charge. If the charges did go through and Tia actually got cash,
00:21:37
Speaker
The plan was to pay her back for makeup supplies she'd already purchased for the wedding, and I'd keep the rest. But our little plan went kind of sideways. You didn't get very far, but you got a little ways, and then you're like, it got cut off. It was through Square, and her account got blocked for a while, and there was an investigation. And I thought for sure, we'd never see this money, you know? There was just no way. She's probably like, bitch, I'm going to jail.
00:22:05
Speaker
I know. Portia, thank God, was not. I felt so terrible. I put her through so much. But she's like, no, I fuck him, you know? Oh my God. Such a nightmare. But it was worth it, so whatever. But then it was about three months later.
00:22:22
Speaker
All of a sudden Tia calls me one day, she's like, you are not even going to believe it. The money just came through. So she got this big payment of cash. And we were both, is it a trick? Is it real? The money went through. Got a nice little chunk. Ha ha. Serious girl. So after all these months, and it was at a time when I needed it so desperately, I forgot how much it was, but it was somewhere between 15 and 20 grand.
00:22:51
Speaker
He owed me more than that. I was just reclaiming some of what I owed.
Reflection on Financial Recovery
00:22:56
Speaker
I've never told the story before because I didn't want people to think that this... It was about that. Yeah, that it was about money or revenge because it wasn't. Well, you had to recoup your loss because there was loss there and that's a thing. So much loss.
00:23:12
Speaker
you had every right to do that. I don't think there was anything wrong with that. Can we, you know, and I've asked, I asked the PI many times, I'm like, did we do anything legally wrong? He's like, no, he gave you the power and he told you to charge whatever you want. And like legally, no, but I was still like for a long time, I can't tell the story. And I also didn't want people to think the wrong thing that I was, cause it wasn't about F you I'm after your money. It was just like, this is my last chance to recoup.
00:23:40
Speaker
you know, anything. For anybody to think that you did this for money, their buttholes, I wouldn't even, you know, like, I wouldn't even entertain you. Well, this is one of the things that comes up from the trolls, right?
00:23:53
Speaker
Oh, you're just a gold digger. You were pissed because you were jet-sitting all over the world and now you didn't have that lifestyle. You were jet-sitting before you met his ass. It's not like you've never been anywhere, like you weren't a cultured woman, you weren't educated. You know. You was already family, so. Speaking of money, yeah, I got my little payback, but those internet rumors about me rolling in cash are so wrong.
00:24:21
Speaker
Because I heard somewhere, someone said you're like a multi-millionaire. I'm like, well, damn, bitch, I'm your ride or die. What up? Isn't that hilarious? I know. I ain't saying no. Come on. I know. There's an article out there that says my net worth is $15 million. I'm like, where is it? Where is it hiding? I don't know where these millions are.
00:24:51
Speaker
Break me off a piece of that. Yeah, seriously. But this gets reprinted and reprinted and I can't get it off the internet. And now I wonder how much money Paolo really had.
Paolo's Financial Backing Questioned
00:25:05
Speaker
Sure, he was a real doctor. He wasn't faking that. But he's cut from the exact same lying cloth as that sleazy con man at the center of the hit Netflix documentary, The Tinder Swindler.
00:25:20
Speaker
He presented like he had all this money, right? He was lavishing everybody, so generous. Now I kind of wonder if he really did have any money, you know?
00:25:30
Speaker
or where at least the money was coming from. And I think I can't prove this, and I don't know this for sure, but a lot of times he used this Russian credit card to pay for things. And he had a grant in Russia. He was doing a clinical trial in Russia. So now I'm thinking, did the Russian government fund half of our vacations and half of the gifts or all of it? Which is, if that's the case, if he was using what was supposed to be research
00:25:55
Speaker
Money for science and clinical trials. Not only is that disgusting Yeah, but also that is very similar to what what these other con men do and the tender tinder swindler guided They're stealing money from one place in order to fund, you know this lifestyle that this fantasy lifestyle that they don't really have then that they aren't really that person I mean, it's just fraudulent on all levels and
00:26:20
Speaker
To this day, my friends are still furious about all of this. Obviously, I was hurt for you, but I was more pissed. Like, I wanted to, you know, get some goons on his ass. I'm curious, if he was sitting where I am right now, what would you say to him? You're a little piece of shit. I don't know how...
00:26:55
Speaker
Who, who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who the F are you? Exactly. And you know, maybe, I looked, punched him in the face. Good. He deserves it. Yeah, he deserves it. I can do that. Which also brings up the question of why, why he picked me. Why he thinks he's going to get away with lying to me. I mean, even though I was in this, admittedly, in this love haze. Because he thought he was lying and stigmatized, that's what it was. Well, they're sad.
00:27:25
Speaker
All I can say to that one is thank you to my amazing friends for laughing through all of this with me and getting me through it.
Conclusion and Tease for Next Episode
00:27:38
Speaker
So on the next episode, I will be breaking down all the reasons that I believe this man's lies. There were a lot of reasons, trust me, like meeting his mother in Italy. He flew me and my daughter to Italy. We went to his mother's house. She cooked us homemade meal. She opened photo albums for us. I mean, come on.
00:28:00
Speaker
He flies you. He took you home to his mother. And there are so many things like that. So that's coming up on the next episode. Wow. But for tonight and for this episode, Nancy, I'll let you wrap this one up. Thank you all for listening and watching. And we wish you love and peace and be kind to one another. And we're signing off Benita and the Bellacas. Thank you, Nancy. Love you. Love you too, baby. Bye.
00:28:29
Speaker
The host and executive producer of this episode is me, Benita Alexander, editor Pamela Ralotte, guests Nancy Comba, Alfred Tom, and Teal Woodard, directors of photography, Chad Harper, and DeSeed Lopez. If you haven't already, please subscribe to my YouTube channel, Benita Alexander, and follow me on Instagram, at Lovecon, L-O-V-E-C-O-N-N-E-D.