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#96 Midlife Reinvention w/ Sairan Aqrawi
25 Plays23 days ago
Sairan started as an engineer, thriving in the world of innovation and problem-solving. But over time, she discovered a deeper passion—empowering midlife women to embrace their next chapter with confidence.
Now, as a coach and mentor, she helps women over 50 uncover hidden talents, launch businesses, and make bold moves—proving that it’s never too late to start something new. With a rich background in systems integration engineering, quality assurance, and leadership development, she has seamlessly blended her technical expertise with her passion for mentorship.
She is a champion of transformation, a strategic thinker, and a master at bridging communication gaps within organizations. Whether it's fostering the next generation of leaders or guiding women through life-changing reinventions in just 28 days, she is a force to be reckoned with.
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Transcript
00:00:20
Sairan Aqrawi
Thank you.
00:00:31
Beatriz Zanatelli
Welcome. This is our episode 96 midlife reinvention. And today our guest is Seiran Akwari. Seiran started as an engineer thriving in the world of innovation and problem solving, but over time she discovered a deeper passion, empowering midlife women to embrace their next chapter with confidence.
00:00:50
Beatriz Zanatelli
Now, As a coach and a mentor, she helps women over 50 uncover hidden talents, launch businesses, and make bold moves, pro proving that it's never too late to start something new.
00:01:02
Beatriz Zanatelli
With a rich background in systems integration engineering, quality assurance, and leadership development, she has seamlessly blended her technical expertise with her passion for mentorship. She's a champion of transformation, a strategic thinker, and a master at bridging communication gaps within organizations.
00:01:19
Beatriz Zanatelli
Whether it's fostering the next generation of leaders or guiding women through life-changing reinventions in just 28 days, she is a force to be reckoned with. Welcome, Seyran. Okay.
00:01:29
Sairan Aqrawi
Thank you, Bia, for the introduction. And thank you for you and Ingrid for having me at your lovely podcast.
00:01:35
Find A Way Podcast
Thank you. So before we get started, can you share more about your business in coaching?
00:01:42
Sairan Aqrawi
Yes, so my passion in business started a long time ago. As a matter of fact, it started, if I remember but well, since I was a teenage, I always thought everybody's problem, it's my problem.
00:01:54
Sairan Aqrawi
And I was always like jumping, let me find a solution, let me figure out a way to get out of that situation career and even at you know a personal life. When I was a teenage, I thought that I have to help a lot of friends,
00:02:09
Sairan Aqrawi
If they are not good in math, I can teach them math. If they are, you know, seeking, um you know, self-development writing books, I was always jumping. Ah, let me tell you what I found out. So I had that passion for a long time since I was a teenage. Then life drift. I came to United States. I was 26. I got married. I have two kids. I went back and I gained my ah degree in master in engineering. Then I started my doctoral in 2018, but i did not finish my doctoral only one semester because the hidden gem, the passion of mentoring and coaching pop up again.
00:02:45
Sairan Aqrawi
I was in my 40. I was like, you know what it looked like? The calling just came back again. So I am starting a side business and I never call it a side hustle because it's never a hustle or ah a pressure.
00:02:59
Sairan Aqrawi
To me, it's a side heaven or haven. It's the place that I go and I don't feel a time the time, effort. I can do this. for the rest of my life without feeling this is something that I really enjoy and it doesn't look like a job.
00:03:14
Sairan Aqrawi
So my passion started early. And when I hit my midlife, I realized that a lot of women, especially in their midlife, they start questioning their ability. They think they are only a mother or a sister or a wife.
00:03:30
Sairan Aqrawi
They go to work nine to five, pay the bills, life is good. Actually, life should not stop there. Your midlife is your life. It's the rebirth, is the the reborn of all the ability and skills that you already have.
00:03:46
Sairan Aqrawi
So I'm very happy to actually have the second niche, which is business strategist. I used to be a transition expert. i used to have ah a platform called International Transition Expert.
00:03:58
Sairan Aqrawi
So my ah main target or my audience and client were international women with engineering degree who moved to United States seeking the American dream.
00:04:09
Sairan Aqrawi
I've done that for over four years, and I changed my niche in 2023 to business strategists helping midlife women to find their hidden gem and hidden talent.
00:04:20
Beatriz Zanatelli
I absolutely love that, Saeran. um about A little bit about the journey and this transition that you went through. Because you started your career as an engineer solving you know many complex problems in the technical world.
00:04:33
Beatriz Zanatelli
And then was there a specific moment? What actually, like, is there... Eureka moment that you had, or any specific situation that inspired you to transition into this coaching and mentoring ah for a specific midlife, midlife women, because you did mention your journey, but then was there a specific, you know, moment that you recall that you said, this is the calling, because I love how you name it, side heaven. And I'm going to definitely use that in my wording nowadays. So I adore that. So thank you for sharing that.
00:05:05
Sairan Aqrawi
Yeah, I i think ah the big, the biggest, the big, vivid moment happened when I was still doing my doctoral. because I was my first semester in and the school, at the university, they asked me to, if I'm able to speak with the younger engineers about the real life of younger engineers when they graduate, what is really the workforce look like, what are the challenges, how they can thrive and excel in engineering.
00:05:31
Sairan Aqrawi
And I just went there, I think I spoke for one hour, maybe one hour and 15. I never thought I'm the speaker or I'm the mentor of the school. And I do i was very genuine. It looked like I captivated and was such a compelling you know message to a lot of younger engineers.
00:05:47
Sairan Aqrawi
They contacted me back and the head of the department of the women engineering, she asked me if I happened to be a coach. And Back then in 2018, I thought coach is only sport coach, right? A soccer coach or basketball or swimming coach because I was a swimming coach myself in my back in Iraq.
00:06:07
Sairan Aqrawi
So i I was so embarrassed when I told her. I said, oh, how do you know I was a swimming coach? She was like, no, I'm not talking about that. This is sport. I'm talking about life and business coach.
00:06:19
Sairan Aqrawi
And I didn't know being an engineer for so many years and just dealing with number and equation, I didn't know what is life in business coach. So I asked her, I said, what do you mean?
00:06:30
Sairan Aqrawi
She said, do you happen to be like ah taking classes in ICF. I said, what is that? I don't even know what you're talking about. She made me curious. I went to the computer while I'm still a student and ah doing my doctoral.
00:06:44
Sairan Aqrawi
I searched ICF, International Coaching Federation. I fell in love with the program. I put my doctoral in freeze. I start taking the exam. I become a certified coach, ACC, and the rest is history. So going back to your question, the pivot happened when I realized that i I do have that hidden gem, being a mentor and push and helping others. It was just sleep.
00:07:08
Sairan Aqrawi
It was muted. Maybe because I was busy with the kids, having their dad always overseas and dealing with teenage, taking them to event and sport. I just put it it aside. It was kind of sleep inside me.
00:07:21
Sairan Aqrawi
So in 2018, I brought it back. So it's like rebirth, right? And was like, no, I'm not going to let it sleep again. I'm just going to make that hidden talent and skills to opportunity.
00:07:34
Sairan Aqrawi
Because we women tend to be very harsh on o ourselves when we... get to certain age. I see it even in younger ladies like you both. ah When they hit their 30, they think it's too late to have a baby.
00:07:46
Sairan Aqrawi
35 is too late to have a master. There is no late for anything. If you have the brain and the ability and the faith on yourself, you can have the first baby when you are 40.
00:07:58
Sairan Aqrawi
There is no book said that you have to have your first baby when you're 25. There is no book and manual saying you have to have your master when you're 41. There is no such a book about that.
00:08:09
Sairan Aqrawi
You make those limitations. And we tend, as a woman, I see it in 99.9 of women that I coach, we are very hard on our ourselves.
00:08:21
Sairan Aqrawi
We tend to give a lot of flexibility and spaces to people who we talk to the bosses ah at our job, to friends, to cousins, to partner.
00:08:33
Sairan Aqrawi
When it's come to ourself, we are like the biggest bully. We are so bad to ourself. We are like people giving us compliments. Oh, I love that dress.
00:08:45
Sairan Aqrawi
Oh, I have this dress for 10 years. Why you giving that clarification? He did not ask you how long you have the dress. He's just saying it's a lovely dress. Or they oh they tell you, oh, great job. You finished that ex Excel sheet in a good time, you know, is in one hour. Oh, it was easy. It's not a big deal.
00:09:04
Sairan Aqrawi
We value everybody except ourselves. We value every event happen except ourselves. And we should change.
00:09:13
Find A Way Podcast
I love you saying that. And it reminded me of a phrase, actually, my husband tells me a lot when I'm like, you know, in like, that, like those slumps that I start talking about myself. And he he just turns to me and say, like, don't talk like that about my wife.
00:09:27
Find A Way Podcast
And it's incredible like it's a good tip.
00:09:28
Sairan Aqrawi
so cute. That's so cute.
00:09:31
Find A Way Podcast
because Yeah, he's not correcting me. He's like, don't talk like that about my wife.
00:09:34
Sairan Aqrawi
Exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly.
00:09:35
Find A Way Podcast
Right?
00:09:37
Sairan Aqrawi
We don't, we tend not to really give the real value of ourselves, but we exaggerate giving value to everybody except ourselves, and we should stop that.
00:09:48
Find A Way Podcast
Absolutely. I love that. So I would love to hear your thoughts on this. So many people believe that you spoke a little bit on that, that career changes or new ventures should happen earlier in life. Right. Like there's always a people make like this plans that like they're going to have like two children by 26, a house, a dog, a picket fence, whatever it is their dream is.
00:10:09
Find A Way Podcast
um But when we talk about career, what would you say to someone that is over 50 or even over 40, sometimes even over 30, feels that it's too late to start a new career or start something new?
00:10:17
Sairan Aqrawi
yeah
00:10:21
Find A Way Podcast
What would you tell them?
00:10:23
Sairan Aqrawi
That's too late thing does not exist if you really have clarity where you're going. And I'll tell you why. Because you might be in IT t for, let's say, 15 years, and you make good money. You are an IT chief safety officer. You manage 200 people, good money, life is good.
00:10:42
Sairan Aqrawi
But while you're doing IT t job, you don't feel the joy. And you go to work, you pick up the paycheck, you come home, you just don't feel that sense of belonging or impact.
00:10:54
Sairan Aqrawi
You know that you're making a good money, paying the bills, but you are not looking forward for that Monday, right? So you think about two things. You said either i have to totally pivot the IT job to something totally different, doing writing, speaking, study law, or whatever,
00:11:11
Sairan Aqrawi
or You can do something on a site. You have your IT job, which pay the bills, secure income coming to your account. And you can have a side business that really evolve around your passion, about the skills of the hobby that you really enjoy. A lot of people have a very, very stressful job, but they are very good as an athlete.
00:11:36
Sairan Aqrawi
So their side business is sport. right? And that's what is take their stress and their mind when they go and play the golf or they play basketball and you ask them what they do.
00:11:48
Sairan Aqrawi
They might be the head of the law firm or you'll be like a lawyer, and but you you look very shaped and You know, Tony said, yeah, sport is my side thing that I really enjoy.
00:12:00
Sairan Aqrawi
So this is why when I start my business, I know the midlife women. And again, when I say midlife, some country, they say, oh, midlife is 35. Some other places say it's 45. Normally, they call it midlife when the women stop thinking about having a baby.
00:12:15
Sairan Aqrawi
I said, I'm done. School is done, right? I have two kids. I'm done with, you know, getting pregnant again. Now is my midlife. Now is my time to build a business that really speaks to my inner, you know, passion and the dream that I have for a long time.
00:12:31
Sairan Aqrawi
So what I did, it was very clear when I started the business around the midlife, I kind of cut it in three levels.
00:12:42
Sairan Aqrawi
or three categories. I said, it's for the women who never work in their life. They happen to get married to that, you know, very rich partner, basketball player, or whatever.
00:12:53
Sairan Aqrawi
They never needed to work. So they were always home, never touch a workplace ever. So that's one category. That's someone who finished school, but they tend to just raising the kids, staying home mom and taking care of the house.
00:13:08
Sairan Aqrawi
That's one group. The second group are people like the IT person who's done it for 15 years and he feels too late or too oh she feels too late to change it to something totally different.
00:13:21
Sairan Aqrawi
The third group is someone like me. I have a day job. I'm still enjoying engineering. I love engineering. I think I'm bored to be an an engineer and a coach. But I have my engineering as a day job and I have a side business in coaching and mentoring, speaking or writing book or whatever.
00:13:37
Sairan Aqrawi
So when the women come and they tell me too late, first of all, I stop them. I said, can you define what is too late mean? I'm 50. Okay. Then I'm old.
00:13:48
Sairan Aqrawi
Okay. It's too late. Okay, so you already set up yourself for failure. You call yourself old. Nobody called you old because you are 50. You said it's too late. Nobody even told you it's too late.
00:14:00
Sairan Aqrawi
And also there is no rules, facts, manual, Bible, anything telling you 50 is old to start a business. So what do we need to do? We need to come with a different, we need to tweak, we need to get rid of the negative connotation and so start the dialogue with the coach.
00:14:18
Sairan Aqrawi
with a positive connotation, kind of tweaking the word, saying, I'm 50. Do you think I still have the skills to start something small? That will change the whole trajectory of your thinking because you started with a positive thought.
00:14:36
Sairan Aqrawi
Not I'm old, it's too late. Okay, how can ah I can help you, you're already coming with the result outcome that you're not going to make. So, no, you are not too late.
00:14:48
Sairan Aqrawi
There is no waste in anything. Don't come to me and say, i i don't say that I wasted 35 years doing engineering. All my life I've done engineering.
00:14:59
Sairan Aqrawi
I will never think it was wasted. Why? Because Being an engineer, being have this strategic thinking, it set me different, make me unique among all the coaches.
00:15:12
Sairan Aqrawi
I'm not only a coach, I'm a strategic thinker because everything to me is equation. It has to add up and have a solution. So nothing is wasted. You might done something for 15, 20 years, but that journey will take you to the real thing that you need to do for the rest of your life.
00:15:32
Beatriz Zanatelli
I love that, Ceyron. Thank you for sharing that. And I have a person that's very close to me that has been in a career transition, like huge ones. Like fort my dad, he was 40 years in the oil and gas business.
00:15:45
Beatriz Zanatelli
And then now at his he's 68 and he just became a realtor in Florida. So he transitioned his whole career and he's super excited.
00:15:51
Sairan Aqrawi
Yeah. Yeah. yeah
00:15:55
Beatriz Zanatelli
And everyone says that one of the secrets to longevity and to not seeing the time and not
00:15:55
Sairan Aqrawi
Yeah.
00:16:00
Sairan Aqrawi
Yes.
00:16:01
Beatriz Zanatelli
and thinking that the time is, um that the days aren't like just passing by is learning something new. So when you're exposed to new things, right?
00:16:07
Sairan Aqrawi
Yes. yeah we are Yeah, it keeps you young and it will bring these vivid colors to your daily activity. It's not going to be a boring routine.
00:16:17
Beatriz Zanatelli
Exactly.
00:16:18
Sairan Aqrawi
Oh, here it is again. I'm doing the same thing. Because when you do new things, this why they tell you Alzheimer will go away if you learn a new language. Why? Because you're practicing all the brain vessels and you're kind of like learning a new language, the way how you say the accent or new skills. Like people play piano when they are 50 or they play guitars or they go to the golf They never play golf. Why? Because they want to challenge.
00:16:42
Sairan Aqrawi
They want that. We age when we stop learning. That's the reality is the aging.
00:16:46
Beatriz Zanatelli
Exactly.
00:16:48
Sairan Aqrawi
Because if I get scared from speaking, writing a book, I already set up my age 10 years older because I'm limiting myself. I'm not opening to the new adventure, right?
00:17:01
Beatriz Zanatelli
like Exactly.
00:17:01
Sairan Aqrawi
And going back to to the the ah example you shared, when the person did the real estate, you'll be surprised, even in his 60, he's doing way better than the younger one.
00:17:15
Beatriz Zanatelli
Oh, for sure.
00:17:15
Sairan Aqrawi
Because, yes, yeah because he come with skills and wisdom. He made so many mistakes, way more than the person who is 27, because he's double-aged, right? Right.
00:17:27
Beatriz Zanatelli
Yes.
00:17:27
Sairan Aqrawi
So you've seen it all. You've seen it double all, right? You come back and the mistake you make, it's I always say you are not starting from scratch.
00:17:37
Sairan Aqrawi
You're starting from experience.
00:17:39
Beatriz Zanatelli
love that.
00:17:40
Sairan Aqrawi
So when you do it the first time, doesn't work. Second time, it's not from the scratch. It's from the experience that you had the first time.
00:17:47
Beatriz Zanatelli
For sure.
00:17:48
Sairan Aqrawi
Yeah.
00:17:49
Beatriz Zanatelli
For sure. I am curious, Seiron, I know you help, you know, women specifically to make bold moves and launch businesses in 28 days. Can you walk us through what that process looks like and what makes it so effective, the 28 day transformation? and
00:18:07
Sairan Aqrawi
Thank you for the question. I do get this question a lot because people tend to question the time frame. Why it's only 28 days? Why actually not one month?
00:18:18
Sairan Aqrawi
Well, it's first is not one month because you will be so clear after 28 days on day 29, 30 or 31, you're going to be celebrating because so I wish if I done this long time ago.
00:18:30
Sairan Aqrawi
The reason why i shrink and I reduce the the package from three months and six months to 28 days Because in my old company, and I had coaching for three months and I had coaching for six months for international transition for the women who were hiring me for but transition expert.
00:18:48
Sairan Aqrawi
By the time we finished those coaching packages, we both were very ah tired and and exhausted from the steps, process, homework, do that, get back to me.
00:19:02
Sairan Aqrawi
And sometimes... I feel that the biggest, and that this is true, the biggest things happen in coaching is between the coaching session while I leave you to challenge you.
00:19:15
Sairan Aqrawi
So I give you a big things to do. And while we are, let's say, scheduled for the next session, it's not until two weeks, you kind of struggle. I, in purpose, I leave you in that struggle point because I want you to evolve and grow.
00:19:30
Sairan Aqrawi
But if I drag it to three months, I drag it to six months, it's It's just too much for the client is too much for the coaches. Maybe it makes sense and on my other niche because the the client were international.
00:19:45
Sairan Aqrawi
So they needed longer time, longer span, right? In order to pick up the culture and live their American dream. That's work with the transition expert.
00:19:56
Sairan Aqrawi
When i am a business strategist, To go back to your question, how I pick them up, I always tell them, please dawn book don't book with me.
00:20:08
Sairan Aqrawi
Don't pay me if you are not clear what do you exactly want. This is not a session for venting. This is not a session to make friendships. I might end up being your friend after a while, but as of now, I'm your coach.
00:20:23
Sairan Aqrawi
As of now, I'm your guide. Don't think this is a place we are sipping coffee and you're telling me about your boyfriend or about your boss being nasty to you. This is not the place for that.
00:20:34
Sairan Aqrawi
This is a coaching session. I charge you money for this session. I want you to come with clarity. And again, because I'm an engineer and my mind always go back to the engineering thinking, I have this 28 days around three main pillars.
00:20:54
Sairan Aqrawi
The first one, I use the metaphor of foundation of house. So when you have a strong foundation, you can build a huge building on the top that foundation.
00:21:05
Sairan Aqrawi
That foundation in my coaching is the clarity. So first you come with clarity. That's your foundation. I'm very glad if you come with clarity. That's when you set up the foundation.
00:21:16
Sairan Aqrawi
Then the building above that foundation, the door, the wall, the ah window, it's your action. If you're coming to my coaching session and you're not going to do any homework, I ask you just to leave.
00:21:30
Sairan Aqrawi
I'm not your coach because you're going to have a lot of bold action. I'm going to make you so uncomfortable. You're going to hate me the very first week and you're going to love me for the rest of your life.
00:21:42
Sairan Aqrawi
You're going to say this engineer, she think I'm a bridge. She's designing me just like she's designing a bridge. But you're going to thank me later. You're going to hate me in the beginning because those actions I'm going to ask you to do, it's are very bold.
00:21:55
Sairan Aqrawi
You never thought about. So foundation is clarity. Action is the building. then the roof, which is going to protect your foundation and the building, is the consistency.
00:22:08
Sairan Aqrawi
I'm going to ask you to do it on and on and on. It's the grit. It's perseverance. Never stop. Never stop. Because you always have to have that roof on the top of the the building in order to keep that building safe.
00:22:23
Sairan Aqrawi
And one of the examples of the bold action, I'll tell you, I had a guy... um last year and the very first thing he told me he said i hear about your style you're an engineer they said you are very tough let me tell you from now i'm not gonna do any kind of speaking or podcast he told me he said i'm very shy and and he was i think he was 52 53 like mid midlife and i said oh is that so he said yeah i said guess what the very first things i'm gonna ask you to be with me in a podcast
00:22:56
Sairan Aqrawi
And he said, no, no. I said, then ah let's let's just not have a contract together. Because this is what's happening. If you don't take those bold action, you will never grow.
00:23:08
Sairan Aqrawi
You will always be safe. You'll always be like warm and fuzzy. Yeah, yeah, love it, right? But when you do the most things that scare you and make you uncomfortable, you're going to be in different levels.
00:23:19
Sairan Aqrawi
You're going to turn back and say, wish if I'd done that scary things long time ago. And now he thanked me. Because I make him go to network and speak and and speak at the at the at the stage.
00:23:33
Sairan Aqrawi
he He said he never thought about being a speaker. And it's not necessarily to make money. It's just I want to crack that code. You're telling me you're shy. You're not going to speak. I'm going to make you speak.
00:23:47
Sairan Aqrawi
Because you're going to see you might see that's one of your hidden gems as well.
00:23:51
Find A Way Podcast
um I love so much what you said. And I think that it reminds me again, you use the sports analogy or using like people that really like sports as like their side hustle or things like that.
00:24:02
Sairan Aqrawi
Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:02
Find A Way Podcast
And it reminds of an analogy. So I've been a long distance runner for a while. I'm training for triathlon now. And me and my coach have been doing this for about eight years now. And we always joke that there's two types of people that do marathons. There's the people that like to say they did one marathon once in their life. They did it. They probably didn't train for it.
00:24:20
Find A Way Podcast
They usually like, they usually say like, oh, I just did it. Like I was terrible. It was like the race was terrible or they didn't finish. But if they did finish, it was terrible. Like they had a terrible experience. And then there's the people that like the consistency of getting better, even if it's bit by bit, even if it's five minutes, whatever it is.
00:24:28
Sairan Aqrawi
yeah
00:24:37
Find A Way Podcast
but that consistently train for six months, for a year, for years to get to that point. And it's the difference between wanting an accolade and actually liking the process of getting there. And it's like what you're talking about consistency. And I love that.
00:24:51
Find A Way Podcast
So ah one of the things that you mentioned a lot is leadership, right? Like on your, like when you talk about your content, um what are some of the key qualities that you think midlife professionals should cultivate to lead effectively in their second act?
00:25:05
Sairan Aqrawi
Good question. I feel like leadership is, it's it's no different than being great parent. um Your kids will never be great if you keep preaching them, do this, do that. It's like, mommy, you don't know. You don't understand our generation.
00:25:21
Sairan Aqrawi
Same thing when you are a leader at it work. If your staff of your team younger than you, they will never learn if you keep giving them orders and telling them, this is how you should do it.
00:25:32
Sairan Aqrawi
I don't see your performance like mine. they The kids and the team member will see you as a leader only when you are competent and you become a role model to them.
00:25:45
Sairan Aqrawi
When they see you up there, when you become a role model, you don't need to say it. They just watch you and they will follow you. They said, oh, look at her. She talked about working hard. She's not in her phone or the computer. She is working hard.
00:25:59
Sairan Aqrawi
So she's the role model in that. Same thing with parenting. I have a daughter and son. They are both in college. I can give all kinds of advices to my daughter who just turned 21.
00:26:10
Sairan Aqrawi
I can tell her, you know, have a communication skill, be a good listener, be kind, have a team, you know, ah builder, team building, thinking when you you work with others.
00:26:24
Sairan Aqrawi
But if I am not doing all of this, my daughter will not pick up none of those traits because I'm just telling her what to do, but I'm not practicing it.
00:26:34
Sairan Aqrawi
Same thing with leader. In any job, even if you are a younger leader, let's say you are 30 and you happen to be in a management level. If you are not doing your best, if you are not gaining your black belt in what you're doing, you are not mastering your game, nobody will see you as a leader.
00:26:52
Sairan Aqrawi
Because you're doing a sloppy job and you're just picking up the paycheck. They said, which oh, she got a promotion because she knows somebody in the higher up, right? But if you are even young and you're doing a great job, people will say that she's a young leader, but she's an amazing leader.
00:27:09
Sairan Aqrawi
Although she just turned 30, but look at her work ethic. Look how she's done for the company. So when you are competent, and that's come from self-confidence, right? Because you cannot be confident if you are not competent.
00:27:24
Sairan Aqrawi
You have to have the skills. You have to master it in a way. He said, now I have a black belt. I can teach others, right, to do that. So being a role model will make you a great leader.
00:27:36
Beatriz Zanatelli
I love that. there is In fact, you were talking about the zone of competence. There's a book I love, which is called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. I don't know if you've read that one. It talks a lot about the zone of competence, ah the zone of incompetence, the zone of excellence, and the zone of genius.
00:27:53
Sairan Aqrawi
Yes.
00:27:53
Beatriz Zanatelli
And he says a lot about, you know, the, our greatest sleeps being in the zone of genius. And like you are in the coaching business, you're probably in your zone of genius and it doesn't feel like you're working.
00:28:06
Beatriz Zanatelli
So everything I do nowadays, I try to align with those, you know, like what is within my zone? Is it just because I'm competent only? Is it because I'm excellent at it?
00:28:15
Sairan Aqrawi
Beautiful.
00:28:16
Beatriz Zanatelli
Or is it because I'm a genius at it? So there's like a lot of ways of, um,
00:28:20
Sairan Aqrawi
Beautiful.
00:28:22
Beatriz Zanatelli
ah Just, you know, ah revealing that to yourself.
00:28:22
Sairan Aqrawi
yeah
00:28:25
Beatriz Zanatelli
So it's really good.
00:28:25
Sairan Aqrawi
in
00:28:26
Beatriz Zanatelli
Thank you for mentioning that.
00:28:27
Sairan Aqrawi
the
00:28:28
Beatriz Zanatelli
um Sayron, we know that reinventing yourself can be daunting. I've been through some reinventions myself and I'm still 39 or so. Still young. so young
00:28:39
Sairan Aqrawi
Very young, very young.
00:28:41
Beatriz Zanatelli
um But especially at midlife when we're, you know, just getting older and all of that pressure comes in. What are some of the biggest mindset barriers that you've seen in your journey and how did you help your clients overcome them?
00:28:58
Sairan Aqrawi
I think the biggest um limitation they come when they come to the coaching, they always have the doubt about the result. I have doubt about myself. I'm not going to get the great result.
00:29:10
Sairan Aqrawi
It's all the self-limitation. And I have to be honest with the client because we build a rapport and relationship and i they pay me money in order to bring that outcome, to take them to B. They come with me in an A, I have to take them to B.
00:29:27
Sairan Aqrawi
I always tell them, I said, I'm honest with you, those doubts are still there. We cannot kill those doubts. Those doubts, it stay with you if you are not a speaker.
00:29:37
Sairan Aqrawi
It stay with you when you takeck until you take the first stage. It will be with you when you write your first book. It will be with you when you start building a family. will be with you when you become a mother for the first time. So the doubt and self-limitation, it's never going to go away.
00:29:52
Sairan Aqrawi
which How you can cure that doubt, I always tell them by taking action. Action breeds confidence, right? Like they said, without action, I'm still going to doubt myself.
00:30:04
Sairan Aqrawi
And I'll give you an example. When I was in my 20, I was a swimming coach back in Iraq, and I loved to swim for hours. I never felt even four hours I'm still in the pool.
00:30:16
Sairan Aqrawi
And
00:30:19
Sairan Aqrawi
99.9% they had that the person who come to hire me as a coach they are afraid to be in the water by them themselves they keep saying the same word I'm gonna drown I'm gonna die I'm gonna drown I'm gonna die so always have the doubt that they can become a swimmer and First, they see me how I swim in the swimming pool. Oh, we wish we can do those moves like you, the diving, all the freestyle, the stroke and all of that. I said, okay, now it's time for me me to tell you to come to the swimming pool. Oh, no, no, we're still going to look at you.
00:30:51
Sairan Aqrawi
You're not going to learn, right? That doubt, it's inside you. It's so thick. That doubt is so dark and thick inside you. You don't want to break it. You are very comfortable. I'm not going to do the swimming pool.
00:31:02
Sairan Aqrawi
So most of the time, which I don't recommend the swimming pool to do it, but I've done it and and in Iraq. When I was talking to them at the swimming pool, I just pushed them to the swimming pool. I just pushed them.
00:31:13
Sairan Aqrawi
And I jump right after them. I'm not recommending people to do that as a swimming coach, but I done it. I don't know. Maybe that was the Middle Eastern, you know, type. I don't know. I threw them on the swimming pool and I was jumping right with them. Right.
00:31:27
Sairan Aqrawi
So they have the confidence or they have the security that the coach with them. And the minute I threw them on the swimming coach, because I took the action, they took the action. They start moving their hands and legs.
00:31:39
Sairan Aqrawi
Right. So going back to your question is the same thing. Swimming coach, life coach, business coach are the same. Without taking action, bold action, just like me throwing them on the swimming pool, nothing will happen.
00:31:52
Sairan Aqrawi
You still get to drag it. I have a doubt. I have a doubt to write a book. Let me do it next year. Next year I come, I said, Bia, what's happened? Oh, say Ron, another year. Doubt, drag it, drag it, doubt, drag it, year, year.
00:32:06
Sairan Aqrawi
But if you take action by writing one chapter, And give it to the editor. Say, what do you think? What is the room I can improve? You took action. And you get so excited when you take the very first action.
00:32:20
Sairan Aqrawi
That first action will take you the second, to the third, to the fourth. So the antidote for the doubt is only action. Take action. And it's going to go away.
00:32:32
Find A Way Podcast
I love that. um So now more of a like a ah broad question, be allowed to add those. So ah if you could have dinner with any person, alive or dead, who would that be?
00:32:45
Sairan Aqrawi
Live or dead?
00:32:47
Sairan Aqrawi
It's one person and and it has to be like celebrity or it can be relative to?
00:32:50
Find A Way Podcast
no.
00:32:51
Sairan Aqrawi
ah oh anyone.
00:32:51
Find A Way Podcast
no
00:32:52
Sairan Aqrawi
oh okay. It's hard to choose because i would say my parents, they are both fast away. And I feel like they they left me with a lot of lessons in life.
00:33:04
Sairan Aqrawi
But I wish if I have one more dinner or lunch or even snack, one more time with them to teach me more because they were excellent parents.
00:33:15
Beatriz Zanatelli
That is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that, Sarah. Um, we, we have this thing, first of all, just a side note, I love the, the pushing them in the pool.
00:33:26
Beatriz Zanatelli
So I was laughing here too bad. The audio was, was off, but that was so funny.
00:33:29
Sairan Aqrawi
and
00:33:31
Beatriz Zanatelli
Um, thank you for sharing that story. Uh, we do something here in the podcast that we always ask the previous guests to leave a question for the next guest.
00:33:40
Sairan Aqrawi
Yeah.
00:33:40
Beatriz Zanatelli
And the question that was left to you was what is your definite definition of primal outcome?
00:33:49
Sairan Aqrawi
Primal outcome. So... If define if I did the prime delivery of my coaching is I define it by did I did my best.
00:34:03
Sairan Aqrawi
If you do your best, that's a prime. It doesn't matter the outcome. It's not rated from 1 to 10. It might not be 10. It might be 6. It might be 7. But you did your best.
00:34:14
Sairan Aqrawi
You give it your all. You give all your energy, all your effort to it. And that you can call prime because you did your best. And the result, it might not be, again, lead or you compare it with other coaches.
00:34:28
Sairan Aqrawi
But if you know inside yourself that you really did your best, that's a prime outcome.
00:34:34
Find A Way Podcast
That's amazing. And I think that the next question is going to be a little bit repetitive. But if you could, in one phrase for you, what what does success mean to you?
00:34:45
Sairan Aqrawi
To me, I never, ever changed the answer for that. I've been asked this a lot. define success success to me is the ongoing energy to keep progressing that's a six success to you both to you both success is if you open this episode and you compare it with your first episode if you are doing better and presentation being a host the quality of the audio that's a success
00:34:59
Beatriz Zanatelli
Wow.
00:35:12
Sairan Aqrawi
Success is not you you become Joe Rogan in six months. We are not competing with Joe Rogan now. Joe Rogan being a host for, I don't know, right? Long time. Success to both of you is that you are doing better than the first episode.
00:35:27
Sairan Aqrawi
That's a success because you're progressing. The progress.
00:35:29
Beatriz Zanatelli
For sure. And it's funny you mentioned that because every time someone learns about the podcast and they're, you know, I'm talking about it, they're like, I always said tell them like, hey, start listening from the newest episodes to the oldest one because we've had a lot of improvements.
00:35:42
Sairan Aqrawi
Yes.
00:35:44
Beatriz Zanatelli
So I give them the warning.
00:35:45
Sairan Aqrawi
Of course, of course, of course. And and and yeah and you still hear, like I always remember when Les Brown said, you are not done because God not through with you yet.
00:35:47
Beatriz Zanatelli
it's Yeah.
00:35:57
Sairan Aqrawi
And because both of you still doing it, that's mean it's still leaving an impact because it's not meant to be for you to continue.
00:36:01
Beatriz Zanatelli
True.
00:36:04
Sairan Aqrawi
It would have finished long time ago for whatever reason, whatever reason is, it's going to be finished. But because you're still doing it, that's mean God is not through with you both. You still have a lot to accomplish.
00:36:16
Sairan Aqrawi
You still have a lot to leave an impact and make a difference for younger people.
00:36:19
Beatriz Zanatelli
And we have a lot of plans, right, If you could choose one superpower, say, Ron, what would that be?
00:36:22
Sairan Aqrawi
Oh yeah. Yeah. You both are very young, very young. Yeah.
00:36:31
Beatriz Zanatelli
and why.
00:36:33
Sairan Aqrawi
One superpower. Um, I wish i I have the ability oh
00:36:41
Sairan Aqrawi
to stop any child in the world to go to the bed while they are hungry. That's break my heart when I see some picture, some kids, they still go to bed and they are hungry.
00:36:55
Find A Way Podcast
Thank you for sharing. um So we are gonna, we do one thing here closing, like closer to the last couple questions of our episode where we do a rapid fire question.
00:37:07
Find A Way Podcast
So we'll give you two options and then you give us the one that fits best with you.
00:37:11
Sairan Aqrawi
Okay.
00:37:12
Find A Way Podcast
um So we'll start with books or movies.
00:37:16
Sairan Aqrawi
Oh, books, of course.
00:37:19
Sairan Aqrawi
Oh, you're muted.
00:37:22
Beatriz Zanatelli
Sorry, dancing or singing.
00:37:22
Sairan Aqrawi
Bia, you muted. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't hear you.
00:37:24
Beatriz Zanatelli
Thank you for that.
00:37:25
Sairan Aqrawi
Yeah, yeah. but about
00:37:27
Beatriz Zanatelli
So dancing or singing?
00:37:29
Sairan Aqrawi
Oh, dancing.
00:37:32
Find A Way Podcast
comedy or drama
00:37:34
Sairan Aqrawi
Comedy.
00:37:36
Beatriz Zanatelli
um Classical literature or contemporary fiction?
00:37:42
Sairan Aqrawi
ah No fiction. I don't read fiction.
00:37:44
Beatriz Zanatelli
No.
00:37:45
Sairan Aqrawi
Yeah.
00:37:47
Beatriz Zanatelli
And um as we always ask all of our guests, we love to, we both are really good, ah big bookworms and we love to hear, you know, what are the favorite books of our guests.
00:37:58
Beatriz Zanatelli
So if there is one or two books that you'd like to recommend and to our listeners and to us as well, what would they be? Books that have impacted your life and you'd like to share it with us.
00:38:08
Sairan Aqrawi
I can pick the top two. There's so many of them, but I'll pick those top two because I gift it to a lot of clients. I think Amazon, they're going to start sending those books to me free because I ordered it so many times.
00:38:23
Sairan Aqrawi
And the first one is, it's it's it will never go old. It's Jack Canfield, The Success Principle. it's It's not a new book. It's like a blueprint. Each chapter of that book, it's a school by itself.
00:38:36
Sairan Aqrawi
It's a combination of Lessons from previous entrepreneur quotes, live lessons about perseverance and how to insist. As a matter of fact, my niche is chapter 39. He said, focus on core genius.
00:38:52
Sairan Aqrawi
my My business is about hidden gems. So i I inspired about chapter 39 from Jack Cancilla's book, and I had the privilege to talk to him in Zoom, me and him.
00:39:04
Sairan Aqrawi
And I asked him the question, and he defined, you know, my real purpose in coaching and my niche. So that book, it's a blueprint. It's like a map for you in career and and personal life.
00:39:16
Sairan Aqrawi
The second book, I love all Ryan Holiday's books and Stoic, but I think his daily Stoic book, it's such a It's a benchmark for mastering your emotional intelligence because it's teach you a lot of things.
00:39:34
Sairan Aqrawi
He talked about basic, but his basic is so deep and stoic. ah you you You just start any book for Ryan Holiday. You cannot put it down until you finish it.
00:39:46
Sairan Aqrawi
So I think Daily Stoic is one of my favorites.
00:39:49
Find A Way Podcast
I love that you mentioned the Daily Stoic because I remember I listen to his podcast often, but I remember one specific phrase that he said, one that made me laugh, which was that he was talking to his wife and he said, his wife said, it's funny that one of us write books about being stoic and the other one of us is because him.
00:40:07
Find A Way Podcast
threatening So much about stoicism, but his wife is way more stoic than he is.
00:40:08
Sairan Aqrawi
but Exactly. yeah Yes, yes.
00:40:11
Find A Way Podcast
but it's
00:40:12
Sairan Aqrawi
that Isn't that funny? Yeah.
00:40:15
Find A Way Podcast
Yeah. But ah before we close the episode, as we said before, one of our previous guests always ah leaves a suggestion of a question for the next guest. So what would your question be for a next guest?
00:40:29
Sairan Aqrawi
I think... ah I say that question in many podcasts. I would say to the next guest, have you discovered your hidden gem yet? Do you know what is your hidden gem?
00:40:39
Sairan Aqrawi
What is your hidden talent that needs to be discovered?
00:40:43
Find A Way Podcast
I love that. Thank you for telling your story and for your time, Saran. We really appreciate it Is there anything else you would like to add before we close?
00:40:52
Sairan Aqrawi
No, thank you very much. i think I enjoyed the conversation with both of you, and this is lovely. And I would love ah to give a complimentary for your audience, for anyone who mentioned your name or your platform.
00:41:05
Sairan Aqrawi
They can get a 30-minute complimentary session with me if they want to scale their LinkedIn. If they are in a technology and they want me to help them with the LinkedIn page, how to be having executive presence, how to get a leadership skills, they can call me mentioning your book name and podcast, and I'll give them 30 minutes LinkedIn. Or if they are ready to start a side business, they can contact me through Instagram, and I'll be more than happy to give them also a complimentary one hour.
00:41:39
Sairan Aqrawi
and how to start their business. Normally I charge, but you both are very lovely, so I can give that as a gift to your audience.
00:41:46
Find A Way Podcast
Amazing. i hope I really hope they take you up on that because that that sounds amazing.
00:41:51
Sairan Aqrawi
Yes, thank you.
00:41:51
Find A Way Podcast
ah This was our episode 96, Midlife Reinvention with Sari Akrari. We'd like to thank all of our listeners and would like to remind you that we'll be posting one episode biweekly, always with a different guest.
00:42:02
Find A Way Podcast
So make sure to subscribe on your favorite streaming platform.