Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Age Gap Reality Check: Who Has It Harder in Their 30s or 50s?
18 Plays7 days ago
Bobby and Steph take on the age gap question from the road: who really has it harder, people in their 30s or people in their 50s?
In this episode of Between Two Teeth, they talk marriage, career pressure, health, kids, law school, energy, wisdom, fear, reinvention, and the very real difference between building a life in your 30s and rebuilding or redefining one in your 50s.
It is funny, honest, a little uncomfortable, and exactly the kind of conversation that happens when two overachieving dentists, law students, and motorcycle adventurers start comparing life stages through a helmet mic.
#BetweenTwoTeeth #AgeGap #AgeGapRelationship #LifeInYour30s #LifeInYour50s #MarriagePodcast #RelationshipPodcast #DentistPodcast #DentalPodcast #OralSurgery #Periodontics #LawSchoolLife #NonTraditionalStudent #MidlifeReinvention #CareerGrowth #WorkLifeBalance #MotorcyclePodcast #DoctorLife #SecondAct #PersonalGrowth
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'Between Two Teeth'
00:00:08
Speaker
Hey guys, I'm Steffy Steff and this is Bobby. We are Between Two Teeth and we're on motorcycles today. This is Motorcycle Diary. This is Motorcycle Diaries. What we're doing today is we're talking, this is the topic.
00:00:19
Speaker
Who has it harder? Someone in their 30s or someone in their
Main Topic: Challenges in 30s vs 50s
00:00:23
Speaker
50s? Who has it worst worse? What do you mean? what in Who has it harder, not worse? you know That's good either way, that's gold. But who has it harder?
00:00:32
Speaker
Like in law school, we're dental surgeons. In life. Absolutely in life. This is an open conversation for everyone. Who has it harder, someone in their 30s or someone in their 50s?
Personal Perspectives: Steffy and Bobby's Ages
00:00:42
Speaker
I think I would not like to be in my teens right now with AI and everything that's happening because it's just, well, I say that.
00:00:52
Speaker
i think a fifty year old has had an opportunity to figure certain things out. And by the way, just so everyone knows, I am someone in my 30s. I'm someone in my 30s. Bob is someone in his 50s.
00:01:05
Speaker
Wow.
Decade Challenges: Changing Priorities
00:01:06
Speaker
Seriously? I had to say it. I had to say There's nothing called out. Everyone knows. right. So you ask the question. You tell me. Well, I'm not saying I'm not saying you.
00:01:17
Speaker
Who has someone in their 30s or someone in their fifty s Here's what would say. In my own life, I know many more things about myself in the world, least I think I do, in my 50s than I did. Are you sure about that?
00:01:31
Speaker
No, not really. i know heard um Give me an example. how how does a 50-year-old have it hard? Because I don't know, my generation is looking at you guys we're like, yeah, maybe. No, I honestly think 30-year-olds have it harder because in your 30s you think absolutely everything's important.
00:01:49
Speaker
And I think in your 40s and 50s, you start peeling away things that you thought were critical in your 20s and 30s.
Impact of Life Decisions in 30s
00:01:57
Speaker
Everything's important. And if everything's important, nothing's important.
00:02:01
Speaker
There I said it. Tell me about it. think you're wrong. I think different decades have come with different challenges. And for me, my experience, I only have experience, you know, from...
00:02:15
Speaker
20s, and 30s. And I can tell you what, it it it gets challenging. I really enjoy teenage years, 20s. those are actually Those are actually pretty great. Those are fantastic. It's fun when you don't have responsibility.
00:02:30
Speaker
Yeah, it's the life decisions without the consequences just yet. But then, you know, a lot of your age group, people start getting married, having kids, starting careers. People are getting out of school.
00:02:42
Speaker
And then, you know, they're starting practices. you start to you start to realize, ah you know, life does start to be a little bit more consequential depending on what your
Reflecting on Life Choices: Internal vs External Motivations
00:02:53
Speaker
decisions are. And you see friend groups start to realize that within themselves, their values start to solidify. And so, you know, there's a song, you know, ah what is it?
00:03:04
Speaker
Our old friends are now our enemies. I have never heard that song. Can sing a couple lines for minute? It's like, oh man, it's like, We're not friends. Yeah, you used to meet me on the east side.
00:03:20
Speaker
City where the sun don't sleep. You're not helping me. You're not helping me at all. Yeah, you can look it up. You can look it We'll put it in the show notes. It'll be great.
00:03:31
Speaker
So we will not put anything in the show notes. Come on. Yeah, we will. My point is is it's it's challenging at different ages, but, you know, you start to really look back on what your the decisions your parents youth would make, and you start to appreciate them a little bit more for the complexity they that's that it was.
Advice to 20-Year-Old Selves
00:03:48
Speaker
Because arguably when you get into your 30s, you really start making decisions that have pretty lasting consequences. So and I'm lost. I'm lost.
00:04:00
Speaker
So are you saying it's more challenging in your 30s, 30-year-olds have it tougher than 50-year-olds? I'm saying it's just a different type of toughness. When I get to 50, I'll let you know.
00:04:11
Speaker
That is such a terrible and great answer at the same time. It's a fantastic answer. It depends. what would you tell your 20-year-old self? I would tell oh, so many things.
00:04:26
Speaker
I would tell my 20-year-old. I would tell my 20-year-old self, well, I mean, this is all kind of you're looking back. Yeah, that's literally what it is. yeah like For me, my first big decision that I made, air quotes on my own, was what sport was I going to run or what sport was I going to do in college? I already i always knew I wanted to be a dentist, so dental school, that was already decided.
00:04:49
Speaker
ah But, you know, what I did in college was kind of up in the air. It was a it was a stepping stone for me. And so I got to decide, do I want to you know play soccer or do I want to run cross country in college?
00:05:01
Speaker
And so I had offers for both, you know, because I've lived it one way. I would do it differently if I was given the option to do it over again. But I say that because just because I would do it differently doesn't mean I don't appreciate the path that I did choose.
Valuing Life Paths and Choices
00:05:20
Speaker
Okay. It's like you're going back to a restaurant. It's like, okay, we're going to have a restaurant and order the same thing. Not necessarily. Just because if have that experience locked in, do something different.
00:05:31
Speaker
Of course it would. So what's your advice? Well, would say... Hey, Steph, no place after. and i If I was, my arm was twisted in the moment. And the reason is is because it would be something that I really wanted to do that wasn't predicated off of external affirmations so much as just something I loved.
00:05:57
Speaker
And I love running. Running was great, and it did great things for me. It kept me fit. away from I hate kept me away from a lot of like drinking and partying. But at the same time, you know, I think I would have really enjoyed pursuing something that was deeply meaningful to me in
Embracing Life's Journey and Failures
00:06:18
Speaker
another way.
00:06:18
Speaker
You know, instantly motivator. So Jeff Scanner telling her 20-year-old self would say, yeah, it would say, I would probably say, yeah, maybe don't chase, don't chase the applause so much and chase instead, you know,
00:06:34
Speaker
keep working at something that you're truly excited about, um even if it doesn't bring you as much All right, your microphone's breaking up a little bit. I'm going to punch over and do my, since, you know, I assume you want to know what I tell my 20-year-old self.
00:06:48
Speaker
Is that correct? There's no need to assume. If you can't hear me, you've got to slow down, buddy. Yeah. so We're in a beautiful road right now in central Texas hill country on motorcycles.
00:06:59
Speaker
A 20-year-old, 20-year-old me, and I've talked to some friends and of my ah cousins about this very sane topic. And what we've done is we've looked back in the past at a deciding, discerning moment in our teenage, early 20-year-old life, and we broke down and said, was this was this something that...
00:07:23
Speaker
Was this something that was a decision that was based on external drivers or was it a decision based on internal drivers? And would you do it differently? Am I doing this to please other people? Am I doing this to please my parents? Yeah, I hear you.
00:07:37
Speaker
Totally. I ask myself that question all the time. My dad's school was like, he's like, stay in school, stay in school, stay in school. I'm year 33 at school. And I'm wondering, am I doing it for me? he characterize it as that?
00:07:48
Speaker
Sounding just like that. I think that's literally how we do it. All right. I'm going to punch into my I'm going to punch into what I. Oh, and I'm sorry sorry. Bobby, did
Concept of Regrets and Life Lessons
00:07:56
Speaker
you want to talk to the audience about? Yes, I do.
00:07:59
Speaker
I do. want who harder fifty year old or third That was the longest answer to a simple question that I've ever heard. i'm with my plot it's not. No, yeah I do not like. the play I do not like just something i'm good Is it something I'm working on? Is this where a 50-year-old hit the carter when they have to listen to a 30-year-old? Is it something I need to work on? Yes. Is it something I'm going to work on? ah Maybe. So 20-year-old self, Bobby Sox would say, you know what?
00:08:28
Speaker
Follow the path of the universe. You're going to fall and fail so much. Get back up. There, plain and simple. What do you think of that? your way of stay Is this your way of saying you wouldn't do anything different?
00:08:42
Speaker
No, I think that's it. was I'm so confused. Is that the lesson? You know, the worst thing about me is that I work really hard and, you know, I just I care too much. I care too much about everything. People.
00:08:56
Speaker
No, it's I frankly. What would you tell your 20 year old self to do differently? I literally I literally do. what I would tell my 20-year-old self. I'd say, hey, follow the path the universe. You're going to fail. So I would fail. You would just say buckle up and keep going? Buckle up.
00:09:15
Speaker
Buckle and just take it take it as coach? I would say it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. You're going to have great times. You're going to have great successes.
00:09:28
Speaker
It's great, but that too shall pass. And you're going to have amazing failures where you fall on your face. You're like, oh, my gosh, can't believe this happened.
00:09:38
Speaker
And I would say going to be So that you that it would basically be a pet talk. It would be saying something like, hey, don't do anything different. Do everything the same, but just be ready for the consequences.
00:09:51
Speaker
You know. Every time see sense. And pushing you a little bit. Of course. Yeah. You know, it is what it is. You shouldn't.
Struggles and Opportunities in Relationships
00:09:59
Speaker
I remember we did an episode a long time ago where you told me i shouldn't should shoot on myself. And I thought you were using a password.
00:10:08
Speaker
But I think that's wanting me to speed up a little bit. Now, I'm trying to have you punch it. I'm having a tough time to punch it. Yeah, so I'm not gonna change a thing. There, I said it.
00:10:18
Speaker
And that's insane. I would just have an attitude. ah Like, I have great successes, and I've had amazing failures. like I remember telling my dad in a Sam's club when we were we were coming through, we were shopping around Sam's, and I was in my first year of college, and i I told him, I said,
00:10:39
Speaker
I have no regrets. I have done everything exceptionally. And I was about 20, 19 years old age at this point. I'm 20. I've made no mistakes. Everyone else is a problem.
00:10:51
Speaker
Yeah. So at 36, I feel completely differently about that statement. I think there's a Frank Sinatra song about that. Mistakes, I've made a few.
00:11:02
Speaker
um Yeah, but that and but it gets back to the point. because the thing is, is if you're at if you made it to 50 and you say you wouldn't do anything differently, you're kind of sounding like a 20-year-old walking around stands with their parents saying, I have no regrets.
00:11:17
Speaker
Which is great. mean, because if you don't, that's your truth. No, so I do have regrets. No, I do have regrets. Oh, okay. I should have listened more. I should have been open. I do hate listening, but I should have. Don't give us the service. Tell us. what still tell us this is a a This is a podcast with Bobby and Steffi stuff. This is no holds these backsies.
00:11:39
Speaker
No holds these backsies. So in in relationships in the past, have I made it too much about myself? ah Some would say, yeah. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you. I have matured and realistically, and it's been a slow maturation process, I will admit that, ah being okay with what happens, locked into things, being okay with whatever comes next, being open to opportunities from other people.
00:12:09
Speaker
I'm in a place right now that if someone had told me 20 years ago, here's where you're going be, I would have been absolutely no one. I pushed the sand back in the ocean multiple times trying to change things. It didn't work.
00:12:24
Speaker
So I'm going with the flow of the universe. That's why we got married by our friends, the two Buddhist monks. Married by monks. Yeah. Monks in New York. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I appreciate that,
Conclusion: Who Has It Harder?
00:12:34
Speaker
Bobby. Any other last ah kind of closing remarks over who has, who is it harder, a 50 year old, a 30 year old?
00:12:41
Speaker
So my answer is a 30 year old has it harder. What's your answer? I would say 50-year-old has it harder and here's why. At 30, you're still wide open. You still actually have some room to, you you know, you feel like you have time.
00:12:58
Speaker
I do not like where this answer is going. When you get to 50, I imagine that you feel perhaps like you don't have as much time to do big things.
00:13:12
Speaker
And maybe... maybe Maybe that's completely off-putting. So that's why we we want to hear from people. We want to hear if you're in your or if you're in your 50s. Prove us wrong. has it tougher? 30-year-old, 50-year-old. Who has it tougher? I think that time is one of the most valuable resources in life and how we spend that time, whether it's intentionally or passively.
00:13:33
Speaker
And that's where i think that as you get older, you do have a lot more perspective, which is helpful. but you also don't have as much time.
00:13:45
Speaker
And so I think that's where it becomes a very cool and interesting question. Who has it harder? All right, guys. Well, that's it for us right now. This is Bobby and Steffi stuff on Between Two Teeth.
00:13:56
Speaker
and We got little honks in the background. We're head we're trying to find some barbecue. Follow us on the adventure, guys. More to come.