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Tiers of Joy (and Rage): Ranking Every DCOM from Season 2
34 Plays16 days ago
We're back—but just for a quick one! In this first mini-sode between seasons, we’re tier-ranking all the DCOMs we watched in season 2. From untouchable classics like Cheetah Girls 2 to full-blown flops (sorry, Frenemies), no movie is safe.
Join us for the hot takes, nostalgic love, and a few shocking disagreements that might threaten the foundation of our friendship. (Seriously—Now You See It in untouchable?!)
✨ Once Upon A DCOM is your favorite nostalgic rewatch podcast where we rave (and sometimes roast) every Disney Channel Original Movie ever made.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Mini Episode
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey everyone, welcome back to Once Upon a DCOM, the podcast where normally we talk to you about our favorite Disney Channel original movies, but currently we are in mini episode one, in between seasons two and three, what what?
00:00:13
Speaker
And I'm here with Natalie, my co-host and one of my very best friends. How are you today? Hi, friend. I'm so good. i'm so excited. These are the most fun.
00:00:24
Speaker
I love the minisodes. I have been looking forward to this since we did it in between seasons one and two. And today's is going to be awesome.
Introducing Tier Listing
00:00:31
Speaker
We're going back to tier ranking of the movies that we've watched in season two. So, Natalie, can you please tell us a little more about what this is going to look like today?
00:00:42
Speaker
All right, so here's the deal. Instead of ranking every episode this season one through 15, we are ditching that and doing something way more fun, which is a tier list. And if you are thinking, wait, what is a tier list? Don't worry, we've got you.
00:00:54
Speaker
It is basically a system where instead of ranking everything in strict order, we sort them into categories. So
Explaining Tier Categories
00:01:01
Speaker
get ready. Here are the official Once Upon a Decom tiers. At the top, we have Untouchable. That means no notes, no criticism will be heard at this time. Perfect movie.
00:01:12
Speaker
Second, we have childhood classic. This means it is not perfect, but the nostalgia is perfection. Or if we didn't see this as kids, we can still see that if we had seen it as kids, it would have stuck with us for years to come.
00:01:26
Speaker
Third, I have notes. This means the movie is objectively good, but I just changed this one thing and then fill in the blank here. Fourth is never again. This means that seeing it once was enough.
00:01:38
Speaker
Glad we witnessed it, but we never need to see a movie ever again. And then at the very, very bottom, we have the tier flop. Everything here falls under the let me list all the reasons that this movie is a dumpster fire category.
00:01:51
Speaker
Okay. That one's my favorite. Right. With that out of the way, Gabby, let's start.
Debating 'Minutemen' and 'Frenemies'
00:01:58
Speaker
but We kicked off the season with Minutemen. Where did this fall for you? So for me, I put Minutemen in childhood classic, and it genuinely was one of my childhood classics.
00:02:08
Speaker
That's incredible. I put this in untouchable. what Wow. Yeah, I started off real strong. Before we get too far, just which category has the most for you?
00:02:19
Speaker
And do you have more than one untouchable? I do have more than one untouchable. Okay. I think the one that has the most might be Never Again. Interesting. Okay. I have quite a few in that category. My most is in childhood classic.
00:02:36
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Okay. Interesting. Why did you put it in Untouchable? The soundtrack, the characters, the storyline, it is just literally all perfect. I adore that movie. Watch it unironically all the time.
00:02:51
Speaker
It is a great movie. I mean, I really don't know why I didn't put it in Untouchable. Now that you're doing it, I think maybe I was just scared of the retribution and I should have gone with that. No retribution. Okay, next one. We got Frenemies.
00:03:04
Speaker
the obvious. What do you think? Let's say it on three. One, two, three. Flop. Flop. Yeah, this was a flop. We don't even need to discuss this. Everyone just listen to that episode. All right. Third, we have Teen Beach Movie.
00:03:16
Speaker
Where did you put it? I'm more curious because you missed this
Discussing 'Teen Beach Movie' and 'Descendants'
00:03:19
Speaker
episode. I did this with your sister Megan. Right. I was sick. So that episode was with my sister Megan. And it is a very fun episode for me to listen to personally.
00:03:28
Speaker
um but This one I put in I Have Notes. Really? Yeah. ah This is such a fun movie, but it is not perfect. I mean, like the choreography is great.
00:03:39
Speaker
The musical over the topness is good. But I think like my note is just that it's not like a super impactful story that sticks with you. Like it's just a very like plain movie. It's giving vanilla.
00:03:51
Speaker
And, oh you know, I know my sister does not feel the same, but that's ah that's my opinion. What about you? For me, i actually put this in childhood classic. It would have been untouchable for me if not for the villain plot, which I know Megan loves even the villain plot.
00:04:05
Speaker
But for me, I was like, this is so well done. It pays such beautiful homage to the movies of the 60s in the same genre. And yeah, I just I was like, there's for me nothing wrong with it except for that entire villain, non villain plot. He shouldn't have even been there.
00:04:20
Speaker
Yeah, that's fair. It just didn't. It just doesn't punch me in the gut with feelings. So that's why I have notes. That's cool. All right. My favorite Descendants. Heck yes. This childhood classic for me.
00:04:34
Speaker
Because look, is it a good movie? No. But also somehow it's a great movie and I don't know how to explain that any further. um It's not untouchable. There are issues, but I will watch it on repeat and I will have no regrets. And if I saw this as a child, this would have been my personality.
00:04:49
Speaker
Well, it is my personality, and for me, it's untouchable. I mean, I get it's cheesy, but for me, cheesiness does not take away from the untouchable nature of it. That's just what you get with DCOM.
00:05:01
Speaker
I see no problems. I see no notes. Moving on. I agree with you. Solid point.
Personal Preferences on 'Rip Girls' and 'Quince'
00:05:06
Speaker
right, we have Rip Girls next. Underrated. What did you think of Rip Girls? put this in I Have Notes.
00:05:12
Speaker
It was almost, for me, a never again. Really? But honestly... Yeah, honestly, though, it was pretty good. And if someone I knew wanted to watch it with me, like I'd watch it again. So ah in middle of the road.
00:05:25
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I threw this in childhood classic, actually. Really? Despite not seeing this as a kid, I really think it belongs here because I enjoyed it a lot. And I think it's only fault we're being really old and a little slow in the narrative. But like the story surprised me.
00:05:43
Speaker
with how much I liked it. And I think if I did watch this as a kid, it would have been something I watched a lot and like nostalgically remembered. Interesting. I don't think I would have felt nostalgic about it, but I will admit it's a well-made movie. So yeah.
00:05:57
Speaker
All right. Next one. I have opinions. What do you think of Quince? I put it in Never Again. And the only reason for me that it's not a flop is because of Kimberly J. Brown.
00:06:08
Speaker
Her acting was great. I respect that. um I put this in I Have Notes. i loved this as a kid, obviously. Loved it less as an adult. And it was very close to Never Again for me, which is super sad. But the only reason it's not in Never Again is' because I know i will watch this again.
00:06:26
Speaker
think enough time will pass that I will forget that I don't like it. And I'll try again. That's fair. Yeah. i It really didn't stick with me. I didn't like it. So, but it's not a flop.
00:06:37
Speaker
Respect.
Highlighting Nostalgia with Mr. Cheesy Pop
00:06:39
Speaker
Okay. High School Musical 2. Oh, yes. Obviously, childhood classic. Wrong. Untouchable.
00:06:48
Speaker
Really? Untouchable. And if anyone, including you, Gabby, put this in a different tier, they can stop listening to this podcast right now. We're done. Bye. Wow. Untouchable movie. It's your least favorite of the three, though.
00:07:01
Speaker
Correct. Least favorite of high school musicals, still better than a lot of movies. All three high school musicals are untouchable for you. Okay. Obviously. Yes. Okay. Do you even have to ask that question?
00:07:14
Speaker
I mean, I love it so much. I just was like, I don't think I can put it in untouchable because it's just, it's nowhere near the third and the first movies. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
00:07:25
Speaker
That's fine. And I just want to say, if you have not listened to our High School Musical 2 episode, you need to go back and listen to it because we had Mr. Cheesy Pop come on and talk with us and it was phenomenal. Phenomenal. We love you, Max.
00:07:38
Speaker
Okay, Wizards of Waverly Place the movie.
Emotional Aspects of Unnamed Movie
00:07:41
Speaker
So this one I put, i have notes. It was almost a childhood classic, but like I don't think it's quite good enough for that tier. I love the emotional aspects of this movie, like the dynamic between the siblings.
00:07:55
Speaker
And it's got an interesting plot. But I believe in that episode we talked about how it was just kind of – poorly written in places. They could have done a lot more with um the whole like wizarding history.
00:08:07
Speaker
They could have done a lot less with the bird lady. so yeah what yeah. What the heck? um I struggled with where to put this one. I really did. But I ended up doing Never Again, actually. Just because I feel like There are moments in there that you're like, yeah, especially like the sibling dynamic stuff.
00:08:28
Speaker
But ultimately, i just didn't get anything out of it. And I don't need to see it again. You know, I got it. Yeah, that's fair. I believe that I liked it more than you when we first watched it together.
00:08:39
Speaker
Yeah. so that sense. And I seen this before as a kid, but yeah. Right. Okay. Luck of the Irish. I know you have feelings about this movie. This is a childhood classic, hands down. I love this movie. It makes no sense.
00:08:53
Speaker
It's incredible. I watch this every single year. at St. Patrick's Day and I will not be stopping. This is a childhood classic. Great, great. I put, I have notes. Too many random things that don't make any sense. Should have been better written. They could have done a lot more with it. I thought you were going to put it way lower, so I'm happy.
00:09:13
Speaker
Yeah, luckily Irish. i I love you, but I have notes. Yeah. Okay. hu Upside down magic.
Evaluating 'Den Brother' and Other Movies
00:09:21
Speaker
and Need we even say it? ah Go for it. What do you have?
00:09:26
Speaker
Flop. Interesting. i said never again. What is wrong with you? I know. I know what is wrong with me. I didn't flop it. I wrote the script. and The only good part about this movie and the only reason why it's not a flop is the teacher, Bud.
00:09:43
Speaker
And o i like still think about him a lot in his song. And that's the only reason. That's the only reason it's not a flop. But i I do not blame you for making it a flop at all.
00:09:55
Speaker
Okay, fair. You will appreciate that ah in our third mini-sode, flashing forward when we do our fictional Where Are They Now? yeah I chose Bud as my character for Upside Down Magic. Okay, okay. I have a guess of where he is now and I'm excited to see if it's the same that you thought. You will literally never guess what I did to him. All right, next one we have Den Brother, a movie that you love.
00:10:22
Speaker
I do. Yeah, I put it in childhood classic. For me, this ranking is actually less about nostalgia, although I had some of that, and more about just the fact that I think it was well made. It knew what it was. it didn't try too hard.
00:10:34
Speaker
And yeah, it's not perfect, but it's a perfectly acceptable DCOM. Yeah, for me, never again. yeah It was cute, but like the more I reflect on it, the more I just like don't like it. and i don't think I need to see it again.
00:10:48
Speaker
Okay. Agree to disagree. Brink! exclamation mark What'd you put? This is another never again for me. same yeah it had promise movie yeah it had promise and it was just there's so much skating and the logic in this film is just like nobody makes any sense and everyone makes me mad and the theme the theme of selling out for your art is bad like they went about it all wrong and i just like i fundamentally disagree with the message of this movie and if you want to hear my full like my actual very full rant you can go listen to that episode
00:11:23
Speaker
Yeah, you got real spicy during that episode. And also the dad, like, as a character, brings it down an entire letter grade. It's terrible. Yeah. Okay. Oh, we're gonna fight now.
00:11:35
Speaker
Now you see it. Dot, dot, dot. Yeah? What did you say? i said never again. Once was enough for me.
00:11:47
Speaker
I put this in untouchable. Are you kidding me? This is not untouchable. But this movie is perfect to me. This movie is perfect. I love it. You put this in the same category as High School Musical 2. I did. Yeah. Johnny Picard, the soundtrack, the nostalgia. It's a perfect movie to me. And I will not take that back. It is untouchable.
00:12:11
Speaker
Oh, I'm gonna just go with your hormones are leading you to think that because of Johnny Picard. You know, this, I think this is the biggest disparity we've ever had in a ranking. I think you're right.
00:12:23
Speaker
Oh, wow. and you know what? We're about to have another big one. I think we are, but in the opposite direction.
Final Consensus on Various Movies
00:12:30
Speaker
Yep. Even Steven's movie. What'd you put? What'd you put?
00:12:33
Speaker
again. Never again. I knew you were going to. You're so rude. just think seeing it once was enough. I got all I needed. I'm good. Yeah. I put childhood classic, but I was tempted towards untouchable. I just, I can recognize it's not untouchable.
00:12:50
Speaker
I, unlike some people, and say something that's not untouchable. I vote with my heart, okay?
00:12:58
Speaker
I, yeah, I love this movie. It's so good to me. I really don't have any problems with it. But it's just, it's I just couldn't, I couldn't put it in the same category as some of the other movies I put in Untouchable.
00:13:11
Speaker
Fair. Zombies 2. Okay, sadly, okay, I have things to say about this. okay I put it in never again. However, caveat, if the next zombie movie or the one after that or the one after that is really good, I might bump this up for me to I have notes because I would watch it again if I was ever going like back through the whole franchise. If I decided that as a franchise, I like this series, like this one may become something I like a little more.
00:13:45
Speaker
Because I love the first one. Like, I want to go back and watch the first one today. But this one, i was like, okay, I've seen it once. I'm done. i won't watch it again unless I love the third and fourth. So we'll see. I'm on the same track as you. So I did never again, because when I reflect back on this movie, all I see is like,
00:14:04
Speaker
teenagers pretending to be werewolves and doing bad choreography. um And I don't need to see it again. The only reason i would see it again is to get context if I am rewatching the franchise. So I get you. right But also I struggled.
00:14:17
Speaker
I thought about putting this in flop. I really did. Wow. I mean, it's pretty bad. The howling is so cringy. It's cringy. Very cringy. And nothing important happened, I feel.
00:14:28
Speaker
I mean, I need to watch the third one again to see if it bridges, but I feel like nothing happened. Yeah, yeah. If y'all want to hear my rant on this movie, go back and watch that or listen to that episode because I had a lot to say.
Praising the Perfect Disney Channel Original
00:14:41
Speaker
You did. All right, last one, our season finale, Cheetah Girls 2. I hope we agree. I put this as untouchable. Untouchable. Okay, good. Yes, this is the perfect movie.
00:14:53
Speaker
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it ever. Right. Songs, choreo. And it was the perfect finale to our season. Incredible. Yeah. This is everything that a DCOM should be and is and it's the standard we should hold all things to.
00:15:08
Speaker
I agree. Okay. I'm so glad we agreed on that one because I was like sweating. I'm like, if she didn't put this as untouchable, but she's wrong. This could be the end of a friendship. Honestly. I was like, well, I guess we're recasting Natalie.
Episode Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:15:21
Speaker
Thank you guys so much for listening to our mini-sode. Please let us know your own rankings on season two's movies. You can comment on your favorite podcast platform or head to our social media. Next week, we have got another mini-sode for you and we are headed to the DCOM Oscars.
00:15:37
Speaker
Woo, so excited. Yes, we are handing out awards for all of the movies this season. So you got to wear your red carpet best. Gabby, you better be wearing a ball gown to record next week. Oh yeah, this eight month pregnant body is ready for a ball gown. Let's do it.
00:15:51
Speaker
And stilettos and it'll be perfect. It's gonna be awesome. All right, we love you guys. We'll see you in the next episode. Bye. Bye.