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Money & Marriage: Joint vs Separate Finances (What Actually Works?) | Future of Finance S2 Ep. 29
1 Playsin 18 hours
Money can either strengthen a marriage—or quietly tear it apart.
In this episode of The Future of Finance, Marissa Wood sits down with Chris Wood and Dee Costa to unpack real-life money dynamics inside marriage—from joint vs separate finances to navigating income differences, financial stress, and planning for the unexpected.
With perspectives from newly married, long-term marriage, and life after loss, this episode goes beyond spreadsheets and into what actually makes financial partnerships work.
💍 Learn how to manage money as a team
💸 Discover common mistakes couples make (and how to avoid them)
🧠 Understand how communication—not math—is the real key to financial success
💍 What You’ll Learn
- Whether to combine finances or keep them separate
- How to avoid the #1 cause of money fights in marriage
- Why monthly financial check-ins are a game changer
- How to plan for worst-case scenarios (without fear)
- The role of a financial advisor in strengthening relationships
💬 Which tip are you starting with this week? Drop a comment and let us know.
👍 Like, subscribe, and share if you want more money strategies made simple.
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Transcript
Introduction to Future of Finance
00:00:09
Speaker
Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Future of Finance podcast, where we break down investment strategies to help you live a better financial future. I'm your host, Marissa Wood, financial advisor and one of the owners of Union Financial Services. And today I'm joined by Chris Wood and Dee Costa from Asset Marketing Systems. And we have a fun episode ahead where we're going to talk money and marriage. You'll get three different perspectives on money strategies that have worked and some that you might want to avoid. So if you're married, engaged, dating seriously, or even recently healing from a loss, this episode will give you some insight that spreadsheets just can't provide. Now, before we get started, I'd ask you to please subscribe to our channel. It really does help us to continue putting
Perspectives on Financial Strategies in Marriage
00:00:53
Speaker
out content.
00:00:53
Speaker
Well, Chris and Dee, welcome back to the show. Thank you for being here today. i want to ask you first, how long... Chris, were you and Penny married? And Dee, how long were you and Ed married for? 43 years.
00:01:08
Speaker
Wow. A long, beautiful marriage. And Chris, how long have you and Penny been married? We're going to celebrate our eighth anniversary this April. Okay, and I've personally been married almost four years at this point. So three different perspectives from different points in life, different points in marriage. And I'm sure there's some things that we all do similar that have worked. And I'm sure that we all have some things that we might not recommend for other people to do inside their marriage with finances. um You know, of course, there are some financial benefits to being married. Can you share some of those with me, Jaye?
00:01:43
Speaker
Well, I think there's some very obvious benefits. um Number one is taxes. Married filing jointly, now that I can't do it anymore, i certainly appreciate the benefits of of the tax implications of being married. Big, big deal. um Joint goals, you know, sharing a vision together of your future and building towards it, to me, created a very fulfilling life all the years that I was married, um both of us contributing and and whatnot. um
00:02:16
Speaker
So the other advantage-benefit thing niceties of being married is if one person my husband was a commercial tuna fisherman and when the industry left San Diego and moved out of the country obviously he had to rethink his career and what do you put on a resume when you've been fishing for 15 years so it took him a while to establish himself it was nice that at that point in my life my in my uh
00:02:47
Speaker
Career had taken off and i was able to fill the gap with my income. So, you know, having times where you support one another through periods, unforeseen periods like that is definitely a benefit.
00:03:00
Speaker
It truly is a partnership. The odds that both people are going to be making the same income as each other are slim to none. Right. You know, there's going to be periods of time where one spouse makes more than the other. Maybe one spouse can't work or wants to step aside to raise a family.
Benefits and Strategies of Shared Finances
00:03:16
Speaker
um And it's supposed to be a union. It's it's not a competition, I think. um Now, Chris, did you and Penny have any financial conversations before even getting married?
00:03:29
Speaker
um I think we did. it's It's obviously been a little while, eight years in. I'm trying to remember back. But, ah you know, luckily, I'm fortunate. She's very financially savvy and money conscious. We actually have a monthly meeting and we'll get into that. But ah previous, I think it was pretty clear. Neither of us really had any major debts. I think the only...
00:03:48
Speaker
um The only debt she has outside of our mortgages are her student loans, which is what it is. yeah um But yeah, neither of us were swamped with any commercial or credit card debt. So I think because we were kind of equal in that regard, it was pretty easy. We trusted each other knowing like, okay, we're pretty financially savvy. We both have pretty decent credit scores. We're good at managing a budget.
00:04:10
Speaker
The sad and truth, she'll appreciate me sharing this, is that when we met, she was actually finishing her, she's a chiropractor by trade, and she was finishing getting her doctorate and had more in her savings account than me, who was a, at the time, a 12-year veteran, you know, 12-year police department, member of the police department in Dallas.
00:04:28
Speaker
And I made, obviously, pretty decent money comparatively, and I had no savings. So I was kind of the epitome. I had a great credit score, always paid my bills. So I was financially... ah Well, like savvy and and good, but um she loves to rub my nose in the fact that she was ah a wee college student, a graduate student nonetheless, doctorate student nonetheless, and had more savings than I did. So I guess at the end of the day, yeah, we yeah. And she's awesome. And so I'm very fortunate. She's a saver and I'm a little more of a a spender. um and And I'll get into more of that. But yeah, we we we knew we were pretty much on the same page. And i I really quickly remedied that situation. Once we started getting serious, I worked a lot of overtime, saved a bunch of money and caught up to her.
00:05:12
Speaker
And the competition then I surpassed her. yeah We make it fun... Sometimes it can be good to have a little competition. I mean, I know my husband and I, of course, he actually became a client even before we were married. um We had been dating and we were engaged and everything. But He gets so excited now to invest, not just because I'm his financial advisor, of course, but he likes to set goals. And then he likes to compare, all right, well, you know, I have this amount in my IRA now. What are you at now? And let's let's both try to get it to this amount by the end of the year. And
00:05:45
Speaker
I think a little healthy competition can be fine. Yeah, now I'm thinking back. It's coming back. i I think I had credit card debt at the same time too. Again, it wasn't like super terrible. And I won't get into why. There were some excuses. Nonetheless, I had it. So I worked really hard to pay it off. And then we had a competition over credit score. And I'm winning that one right now just by a little bit. There you go. Now, Dee, talk to me a little bit about – Keeping finances separate versus combining. Now, you had mentioned that you and Ed did combine finances quite early on because he was a commercial fisherman and...
00:06:19
Speaker
I needed to pay the bills. Exactly. Exactly. And how had how had that worked in your marriage versus maybe sometimes you're seeing, and I know I've seen this as well, that it's a bit of a trend keeping finances separate these days. um What
Separate vs. Combined Finances: A Comparison
00:06:36
Speaker
have you seen? So I'll be very direct with you and use my own son as an example. Hopefully he doesn't um take offense to this, but it is what it is. It's just the truth. um Because we you know he was born and raised, and both my husband and I, my husband went into car finance after fishing. So he was very, Chris talks about credit scores. he
00:07:00
Speaker
you know We were very diligent diligent about always maintaining a very good credit score, paying off our credit cards at the end of the month, going without if it meant saving our credit scores. And so my son grew up in that environment. And so he became a saver. He became very conscious at a very young age, bought a car at a very young age um of how important a credit score is. And he got married nineteen or in 2018.
00:07:28
Speaker
um So he's been married about eight years, about the same the same as Chris. um And I adore his wife. She's adorable. She's a spender, he's a saver, and they keep their finances separate. And I don't get it. I think it's very strange. Now, they do have a joint savings account where they both contribute on a monthly basis, and that's for their annual vacation. They're going on a cruise next month. So they've got shared goals in that sense. They've got that in common. But they divide up the bills. um One pays the house payment. The other pays for food and child savings.
00:08:06
Speaker
care and school and they just even out the bills and pay for them separately. um That seems very common these days i from what I've seen with clients. i think it's way more common than... Why do you think that is?
00:08:22
Speaker
You know, i asked my son directly because I told him I thought it was strange. And he said, Mom, you don't want to know what her credit score is. um She likes to keep a little balance on those credit cards. She's a great gal. She loves to shop. She makes very good money. She's a high-level administrator, has her master's degree in hospital administration. She does very, very well. But she doesn't think twice about... spending And – and it's not that she doesn't pay her bills, but she allows her you know interest rates to get high and it just ah affects your your credit rate. And Dean doesn't want any part of that. So ok he wants to keep his credit score nice and high. And they have a beautiful marriage. ah you would I know that Chris knows somebody in a very similar situation that it didn't work out so well to keep their finances separate. Tell me about that. Yeah, I just – personal observation, ah i could just tell that there was always dissension because it was kind of a keeping score thing. you know I think the irony is we just discussed like how we made it almost a fun fun competition is the important part, right?
00:09:33
Speaker
Where it can get toxic or or problematic I think is where – You have a competition like, well, I paid for this and you paid for that or this bill was bigger and and then you get this back and forth and then you're not like you said, you're ah you're ah you're against each other. You're opponents, not a union, rowing the boat in the same direction for the same goal. um at
Challenges of Keeping Finances Separate
00:09:54
Speaker
the end of the day. So yeah, um if you're going to have, I just think when you, my personal opinion, I understand it's traditional to have um joint accounts and my wife and I do. And I guess I'll talk about that here in a minute, but there's just more opportunity for competition and competition means there's more opportunity for um conflict and fights. And I think that's the ultimate thing. i' one of the major driving factors to divorce is money issues and Obviously goes without saying, right? So I saw it firsthand and those folks are no longer married and it's unfortunate. And I was always just of the opinion that if you guys combined your accounts and, you know,
00:10:32
Speaker
to just put everything in the pool and and you work together, then you don't have this tit for tat. Completely removes that. But one thing, this is a recurring thing that I always say in finance is whatever works for you. Like I hope ah my my less or I don't want to sit here and say that you should emulate me or her or whoever. I really think it's important in a marriage that you two, you know, whoever you sit down and you come up with a plan that you both agree with.
00:10:57
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, i think that keeping money separate would become a challenge when maybe one person is not working for a period of time. And then how do they pay their part of the bills?
00:11:09
Speaker
Or do they have spending money? and do they have to ask their spouse for money? It gets tricky at that point. And I've found at least what has worked with a lot of my clients is having that joint account where all the paychecks go into, all the bills come out of, and then if you each want to have your own savings account on the side for fun things, not that you're keeping it a secret, but for a little bit of autonomy, yeah then that might work. That makes great sense. Rather than two totally separate accounts and Venmo-ing each other half the water bill. I don't love hearing that when I when i hear it um because it just, it feels like it's not a union at that point. um Of course, every every marriage is different. um But yeah, it's an interesting thing that the trend is separate finances. And I think there is a way to have
00:12:04
Speaker
Some separate but majority combined. Yeah. And I think you were talking about the the income issues, right? Job changes. And, you know, maybe you're, maybe you have a job that sales based, right? So your income isn't consistent.
00:12:17
Speaker
And I just think it's important to look at each other and always remember that this is a union, like you said, and that the and perfect branding too, but, but, but, you know, at the end of the day, I think the, the bigger thing to remember is the, the goal is, is that you're together and whether I'm making more, you're make, she's making more, ah In our marriage in the eight years, we've had that. She supported me when I left law enforcement and moved into um this financial industry. So obviously there was a big change there and and she shouldered the stability. we've We've actually – but it's interesting because then she started her business and I had the job with the state government and so I provided the stability. At the end of the day, we leaned on each other when we needed to and we made decisions based on assuming you
Navigating Financial Challenges Together
00:13:00
Speaker
could. Like obviously layoffs and and things happen. But we we made decisions on where we were going to go, what we were going to do based on who had the stability and who could take the risk. So when she started her business, I had the stability and vice versa.
00:13:13
Speaker
um That's a major thing. And then as it relates to joint accounts and spending, what we do is all of our bill, we have joint everything, our all of our money goes into one account, all the bills come out. But what we do on the 10th of every month, coming up here soon, ah we meet and and take our temperature. We look exactly where our checking and savings accounts are. We see did we we did did they grow or did they go down? And then what we also do is we take an excess and we put it in our own spending account. So we earmark funds from our excess. So I get $1,000, she gets $1,000. And the why we do that is it removes absolute any opportunity to argue or be have um resentment because I went and got new golf clubs, but she went and got her nails done and bought a purse or did whatever –
00:13:59
Speaker
Or whatever the case may be. That's great. That's a great idea. That's how we do. Everything is a team, but we have our separate spending accounts. Because, again, I'm more of a I like to go out to eat here and there, like go grab, you know, a sandwich for lunch as opposed to making peanut butter and jelly where she will literally not spend a dollar. And in August, she's going to Paris by herself.
00:14:18
Speaker
yeah And that'll be an expensive week. That's an expensive week. But she earned it. She earned it and she saved. And I and i can't be over here going, you're going to go spend a couple thousand dollars going to Paris because i I'm going to get golf club. And so it it's – is it a tit for tat in a sense? Yes. But it's from a fairness perspective, right? And I can't – she doesn't want to resent me because I'm over here spending money every day and she's saving. Right. And by doing that, it's it's brilliant because neither one of you has to justify what you're using your fund money for. If it's fishing, if it's golfing, if she wants to go get a facial, it doesn't matter.
00:14:56
Speaker
no Because we each have our own hobbies that we want to support and they do cost money sometimes. I think that's a great, great strategy. I absolutely love it. We actually in encourage it. Like, she's like, I want to go to – I'm like, I don't really you want to – it's crazy. I know people judge us. And that's the other thing too is I think don't worry about judgment, right? You know, there's a traditional way of things of doing things. There's the way that your son and and his wife do things. and There's the way we do things.
00:15:23
Speaker
Just find what's best for you that makes sense. And our goal was to just remove the opportunity to have a a fight over money. And my wife and I, in anticipation of me coming down here, we we like kind of reminisced and we looked she's like, yeah, I don't – maybe early on at first and in in Hawaii because we were broke and then Maui's a little expensive. We had a little bit, but once we figured it out, man, we have money is, if anything, it's kind of fun. Like we we sit down, we have that monthly meeting. Are we ahead? Are we behind? oh we're doing okay. and And also life happens, right? As long as we stay within the fairness parameters, you know, I have a thousand, she has a thousand and I go off and spend two, that's
00:16:01
Speaker
an issue goes without saying. um But, you know, sometimes we have to tighten our belt. And really one nice thing I think is we're both subscribed to the, my my wife and I both are very big on delayed gratification. Like if we can't afford it, you just go without it. We aren't the people. I mean, when we lived in Maui, Hawaii, we didn't go back for a funeral for some of our family members because we just didn't want to put them on massive credit card debt. It was incredibly expensive. And those are choices you have to make. Everybody's different, but That's great. Thank you for sharing that, Chris. Now, Dee, what have been some of the amazing decisions you and Ed have made as a couple together? And maybe what what was the financial hurdle that you you faced?
00:16:41
Speaker
So, yeah, life is not a smooth road, that's for sure. um I think... You know, a couple of things, really big purchases like homes. um I'm so grateful that my husband as a commercial fisherman made really great money when he was younger in life. And so we were able, fortunately, um at a super young age to buy our first home.
00:17:07
Speaker
And that was all because of him. But at some point, we decided to add a family. And about three years into our marriage, um it was a tiny little home, but it was our starter home. And it had appreciated quite a bit in value. And so we knew once I got pregnant that we we were going to need more room. So um it was an exciting time. It was a very challenging time to agree on a house together and a neighborhood together. We looked for good school systems and whatnot. um
00:17:39
Speaker
and knowing that I was going to take some time off work. um You know, we we needed to make sure we could afford what we were doing. So anyway, we we bought our house in 1985. And, um and it you know, so it was a big financial decision. And and then shortly thereafter, the fishing industry started.
00:18:01
Speaker
Went kaput. And within a year, i was I had an unemployed husband looking for a job with fishing on his resume. And and a newborn baby? And a newborn baby. Wow. So it was a fairly stressful time. um We were literally unable to save a dime. We were...
00:18:19
Speaker
living pay my paycheck to paycheck, um struggling to survive. And fortunately, Ed got into car sales. He was a natural salesman and eventually into finance. And, you know, things turned themselves around. but And, you know, so the you know he started contributing more and we got through that rough hurdle. um Thank God our love was strong and it didn't break us. um And we found ways to make it work.
00:18:46
Speaker
um But then in um on my husband's 43rd birthday, um we were actually doing quite well at the time. He had a massive heart attack and quadruple bypass and was off work for months and months and months and months.
00:19:01
Speaker
And so once again, that paycheck stopped. you know I was able to step in. It's kind of like you're talking about supporting one another. when things happen. But then, you know, heading into our late forty s early 50s, we both realized we've got to get serious about retirement planning.
Planning for Retirement and Future Contingencies
00:19:20
Speaker
it was you know it doesn't seem like a very short leap from 35, 40 years old to all of a sudden you're mid-50s and retirement's 10 years out. And it's like, oh, you know, we've we've really got to get serious. And so we sat down and decided we've got to significantly so significantly increase what we're setting aside for for that. We knew my husband had health issues. We've had to prepare be prepared for that. So there were risks that happened along the way that opened our eyes to
00:19:55
Speaker
You know, the the bumps in the road, the rainy days, and you just can't be ever prepared for them. so and Did you have those conversations together about preparing for worst-case scenario? Is there things that you would have done differently, or do you feel like you did plan appropriately? We did. um My husband liked to spend money more than I did. um Just being in this industry, I understood how important it was to have you know six to 12 months of income in the bank,
00:20:28
Speaker
Always, you know, and to have a portion of my savings going to four hundred one k and investing and so forth and so on. And I would see a shiny new Lexus and um get pretty excited even, you know, in his older age. But he We always made joint decisions. He never went off and did anything without you know us sitting down and and making sure that we could afford to do it. um So we were both diligently um putting money away towards you know that goal of eventually retiring together. And um he didn't quite make it to retirement, but he left me in really good shape. And I just thank God every day that we... You know, that we had that vision together, that we planned together, and we did plan for that worst-case scenario. And so he left me in in in good financial shape. Yeah. And, you know, I am sorry that he's not here to he was bless see i see the rewards of what you guys worked so hard to save. But, yeah, part of that was him leaving a legacy of making sure that you were OK and and planning appropriately. Because it's not just about who's the saver and who's the spender right now. It's OK, what if something happens to one of us? That's right.
00:21:45
Speaker
Do both parties understand the financial plan? Do both parties understand what the bills are, where the investments are, where the income going to come from if one spouse loses their income from disability or or death or an injury? um So it's so much more than just a monthly budget. Of course, that's the starting point, but it is so much more than that. And I have found that When it comes to having one be more of a saver and one that's more of a spender, which I think actually every marriage needs because if not, then, you know, kind of boring they're going to be broke or really bored. So you kind of do need the balance. But I think having an advisor
00:22:29
Speaker
In the relationship to review the budget, to review the financial plan, it's that neutral third party that's not going to say, you know, why did you spend that on shopping on Amazon last month? It's, okay, you spent more than the budget. What are we doing next month to get back on track? um I think that can help marriages, just having that advisor even being present. Absolutely. As Chris said, financial issues can be the biggest cause of divorce and having someone in your corner that can pat you on the back when you're doing great and get you back on track when you get off track and be very neutral about it and yet supporting is an awesome, awesome tool.
Adaptability in Financial Hurdles
00:23:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:14
Speaker
Yeah, Chris, what are some other hurdles you've faced or things that you've seen clients go through and and advice that you'd give to someone experiencing something similar right now? Yeah, our personal story, i mentioned we moved to Hawaii, Maui. Obviously, that was pretty um challenging just from a financial perspective, just the logistics of moving, the cost. I mean, heck, it costs more to send our dogs. We had two large dogs.
00:23:37
Speaker
Those were like, I think, $1,500 a person or a dog. It was more than our flights were. So, you know, three grand just to get our puppies out there, you know, and that's a big financial burden. And and we weren't making six figures at this time in our life. She was just out of college. It was actually her first job. a second job as a chiropractor. Contrary to popular belief, they don't make a ton of money coming right out of school. So that was a hurdle because we're in ah a new relationship moving literally to an island in the middle of a Pacific Ocean and we're on our own, right? Everyone laughed at us. Everyone, again, kind of the judgment, like there's no way this is going to work. You know, I left law enforcement. um Yeah, so that was a hurdle and I think, you know, life changes, you know,
00:24:17
Speaker
impact your finances just as much as financial changes can impact your, you know, the loss of a job or whatever. But decisions that you make together are very, um have that opportunity. Then to make, ah then to continue down the path, ah in 2020, we decided to move from Maui to San Diego.
00:24:35
Speaker
If we all remember the year I don't like to even speak about, we landed in Maui, Hawaii, or I'm sorry, in San Diego, February 12th of 2020. My wife opened her first brick and mortar business on her own, March 1st of 2020. I was going to be a life insurance independent broker, and which obviously necessitated in-person meetings. And we all remember where that went. So this poor girl opened up her business and literally, I think, got to see three patients and had to close her doors.
00:25:05
Speaker
um I obviously couldn't buy leads and run leads and go meet with potential clients. That was just ah a no-go. So I had to pivot and ended up selling insurance over the phone One call closed, like, and I'm, and we had a downtown apartment, a $2,000 month of rent to to meet among other bills.
00:25:23
Speaker
And so that was quite the hurdle. um You just become resilient. you You lock arms and you figure out a way to make it work. Obviously, you know, spending had to be reeled in and we couldn't really go anywhere to do anything, but you know, you still eat and you still want to splurge to whatever you could. So for us, like going to get pizza was a treat, right? So that was our biggest hurdle is you know big life changes and decisions and then obviously things like COVID that come in and just completely throw a wrench into your plan. How do you react? I think that just lends to looking at this as it shouldn't be a competition. It it can be stressful quite certainly.
00:26:00
Speaker
But it can only be made better by locking arms and tackling the problems together and looking at how can we get through this storm together because it's not forever. It's not ah a forever life sentence. We're in a completely different scenario now. of course, it's where we're thankfully six years removed from that horrible year. um But goes on. It feels like yesterday, doesn't it? It does. But, you know, I i know, knowing you for a while now, Chris, and I feel like your character was really carved out in that storm You know, it's it's only through the storms in life that we develop that resilience and that persistence and that determination. And having a partner that can help you navigate those rocky waters and land to shore on the other side and come out as wonderfully as you have. I mean, it's it's kind of cool to see. i don't think there's a couple that ever go doesn't go through...
00:26:54
Speaker
tough times. It's how you navigate through them. And I think it's amazing to be able to have a coach to help you navigate those rocky waters. Absolutely. Yeah. Lean on lean on other people, whether it be your financial advisor, tax accountants, family, your faith, if that's important to you.
00:27:15
Speaker
And it all does tie in to having that healthy marriage. And it's it's funny. it's A lot of it is based on money, but when when you know your finances are good and you're sticking to the budget and you're automatically investing every month, money shouldn't really be at the forefront. It should be just happening in the background and and little tweaks here and
The Role of Life Insurance in Crisis Management
00:27:38
Speaker
there. um Now, Dee, what are a couple tips that you have to make sure that people are prepared in the event of a loss like you experienced?
00:27:48
Speaker
Well, you know, there's always the obvious. um I'm grateful that I was a life insurance salesperson before i was actually a full financial planner. So I've got ah a huge belief in life insurance. And It came in handy in a couple of different ways.
00:28:07
Speaker
When my husband had his heart attack, um we had I actually had a cash value life insurance policy that we were able to borrow money from to keep us going um until he got back on his feet and back to work. That was a godsend. um When you're unemployed, it's really hard to get a loan. you know It's hard to get money from a bank. So being able to tap into your own source of – we never anticipated needing it, but it was there when we did. And so that that literally built a bridge for us back to financial health.
00:28:43
Speaker
And then, you know, obviously, when he passed away, there was um tax tax-free death benefit to me. um We also, you know, there's a lot of planning that can be done with a financial advisor as you get, I'm obviously older, as you get closer to retirement. um setting it up accounts. And one of the nice things is that spousal IRAs, you know, you can you can transition that to the surviving spouse and so forth. um
00:29:15
Speaker
So i would just say, first of all, you know, if you're if you're in a an occupation, and and this can be kind of tricky, but An occupation that can be hazardous to your health, um think about disability insurance for sure because that will keep a paycheck coming in if you got hurt on the job and couldn't work for a while.
00:29:39
Speaker
Life insurance is just a must. I'm sorry, but it is –
00:29:44
Speaker
I mean, worst case scenario, term is great. We've talked about this before. um Something is better than nothing. But if at all possible, have some cash value life insurance. It's amazing to see that thing grow and be there when you need it most. I agree. Yeah. And, you know, having those beneficiary designations and estate plan are also very important. um Having each other's passwords on on important things and maybe kept in the safe is also important. And just having the open communication, too, I think. It just you don't want to bury your head in the sand and say, well, they're just a spender and we can't we can't do it together.
00:30:26
Speaker
We'll deal with it if it happens. Yeah. Yeah, that's not a good plan. um Now, one last question for each of you. What would be one financial habit that you think every couple should implement within the next, we'll call it 30 days?
00:30:39
Speaker
I can start. I think my wife will argue and say, I don't enjoy it. um But ah we like I mentioned before, we have a monthly financial meeting. she'll That's literally a way she's like, you ready for a financial meeting? Here's a fun way to make it a couple things. One, it doesn't have to just be a financial meeting at home. You can go do it at a a bar or a restaurant or ah wherever. you know You can make it a date night and you bring your laptop or go to a coffee shop or make it fun somehow to where – and you change your mindset, right? This isn't a – we're not auditing to see, oh my gosh, you spent this or you did that. It's just ah an honest diagnosis of where are we?
00:31:15
Speaker
Where are we at? Because it's – I hate – there are all these little sayings and they exist for a reason. you know that That is not measured cannot improve or that that is measured can improve, right? Like – You could be – if you're going to go work out every day, obviously you're going to notice the the changes if you do it consistently.
00:31:32
Speaker
So if you measure where you're at each month and you don't look at it from an accusatory standpoint, again, you got to eliminate that that tit for tat or that – the urge to if things go off track, because the important part is, is you know you're off track if you are and you each month just row the boat together. And it's a silly analogy, but I mean, at the end of the day, i think that's important because it helps with that, the unity of shared goals,
00:32:01
Speaker
make adjustments if necessary. But if you just live through life and you have no idea what you're spending, you're struggling to make ends meet at the end of each month, it's probably because you have no idea, you know, even like subscription, there's like apps out there, right? Where you, oh my gosh, I figured out I'm wasting $400 on subscriptions I don't use. You know, it's things like that. We literally go through our our bills. We make sure that everything's on the up and up. We're not getting, you know, fraudulent charges, which I had one recently. I literally had something where,
00:32:30
Speaker
I must have signed up for something and I had a $500 charge on my credit card that was like a free trial that like after a year reverted to a paid membership and I was like, what on earth is this? I don't even remember it. I called luckily. No big deal.
00:32:45
Speaker
But that's a good good point, right? And so that's why we do that meeting. We try to – if we're in the mood, we make it fun. But we're to the point now where it's just habit and we – on the 10th of every month, we pick up the 10th because of how she gets paid. So – and we do it on the same day so we have continuity. We keep – she's a spreadsheet person. Thank God i Excel makes my head hurt. um She's got it all figured out. We know exactly what her excess is each month or or lack of. Maybe you don't, right? um But you need to know where you're at.
00:33:14
Speaker
If you don't, then how do you make a plan? How do you get better and how do you improve your overall overall situation if you have no clue what your monthly expenses are and and what you have left over? And for those of you that don't have a budget, you know we can provide that to you. All you have to do is is go to our website, union-financial.com, click schedule a meeting, or send us an email, and we'd be happy to send you our template. um Of course, you can customize it to fit your own household, but it's a good starting point. Absolutely, Chris. Dee, anything add? So this is going to sound a little strange, and I'll make it kind of quick, is... Even though I'm in the financial services business, we elected to um employ a third party unbiased person to help us put together a financial plan ah for the future. and
00:34:06
Speaker
um I really like the monthly meetings. I think that's super healthy. um My husband really didn't want to know that much. um And I think in a marriage, sometimes one spouse is is more educated than the other, which is why i decided to bring in a third party. um just so that he was made aware of where we stood you know in in relation to our goals, in relation to our savings, in in our retirement planning and all of that. But he let me kind of do the work after that. And i think with any marriage, I would, even though there may be one person who manages the money, Oftentimes it's the female, it's the CFO of the household. It's really important that both people sit down with someone and understand the entire plan because you don't know which one of us could get hit by a car tomorrow. So you can't just brush it off and give it to one spouse to story worry about as generous and loving and trusting as you may be with your spouse. That spouse could be gone in a heartbeat. So um I would just suggest everyone sit down with your spouse, with a professional, lay the cards out. doesn't matter which of the two people manage the money. um
00:35:26
Speaker
Know what's going on. I agree. Yeah. I mean, money in marriage is not about perfection.
Concluding Advice on Financial Partnership
00:35:32
Speaker
It's about partnership. And whether you're one year in, five years in, 10, 30, 40, or walking through loss, those financial conversations do matter because one day you'll either be grateful you had them or wishing that you did. right um And so if this episode sparked something for you, don't wait.
00:35:50
Speaker
Schedule that money conversation with your spouse and do it with an advisor too. All you have to do is head to our website, union-financial.com, click schedule a meeting where you can book a phone call, Zoom call, or in-person meeting, always complimentary. And if you enjoyed this episode, please like it, subscribe. Share with a friend or family member. Doing so really does help us.
00:36:14
Speaker
Dee and Chris, thank you so much for sharing not just these strategies, but personal life experience. I really appreciate it, and I'm sure our listeners do as well. Thank you, Marissa. And for everyone else, thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Future of Finance podcast. I'm your host, Marissa Wood. We look forward to helping you live a better financial future.
00:36:36
Speaker
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