Transcript
Speaker: Everybody wants empathy, but ain't nobody trying to give it. We gonna get into it. Let's get it.
Speaker: Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. i am your host, Bruce Anthony, here to lead the conversation in important events and topics that are shaping today's society. Join the conversation to follow us wherever you get your audio podcasts. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcasts, YouTube exclusive content, and our YouTube membership.
Speaker: Rate, review, like, comment, share. Share with your friends, share with your family, hell, even share with your enemies. On today's episode, it's the sibling happy hour. I'm here with my sis, Jay Andrea. We're going to be dilly-dadding a little bit. Then we're going to be talking about a gum apology, a stolen flamingo, the empathy trap, and why ends at work.
Speaker: But that's enough of the intro. Let's get to the show.
Speaker: What up, sis? What up, brother? I can't call it. I can't call it. You know, the internet gives me loads and loads of ideas for content. Yes. Loads and loads. I am probably on social media entirely too much for my mental health.
Speaker: m However, it is very, very important for me to be on there because I need to be able to produce content for the show. Right. Right. Catch-22. Right.
Speaker: It really is. But there was an interesting viral moment that's been going around, and I was like, huh, this is interesting. I want to talk about this. So, okay this viral moment...
Speaker: is about Natalie Jane. Who is Natalie Jane? Natalie Jane is a pop singer. Her last show of her tour back in March, she was in the town and there was a sign that somebody had hanging up in in the crowd.
Speaker: And the sign read, do you remember me from second grade? And then he flipped it over, the person that was holding the sign, and said, I put gum in your hair. She screams out his name and she says, Benji? Benji?
Speaker: Benji came correct. Rose is an apology. and No excuse, no explanation. Just an I'm sorry. And she forgave him right there on the spot. So this video has been going around. Like I said, it was filmed in March, but it keeps popping up in my feed. And it was two things that I thought was really interesting about this. One...
Speaker: This is a grown woman. She's like 22 or 23 years old. Yeah. She immediately knew the person who put gum in her hair in the second grade. was like You're never going to forget. Yeah. She was like, I had to cut my hair because of that.
Speaker: Yeah. And he was like, she was like, what are you doing here? And he was like, yo, I knew was going be here and I wanted to apologize about that. So here's a flip side to a man that either is sincerely...
Speaker: or saw that, you know, she's a pop star recording artist and was like, I can do something with her. Shoot my shot. and Maybe shoot a shot. She is attractive and she can sing.
Speaker: Okay. She can sing. i I went on her page and and listened to a little bit of her music. I was like, oh, she can sing. She was on American Idol once before, so she can sing. But I just thought this was interesting because in the comments, it was a tale of two camps.
Speaker: and One who was like, oh, God, this is the start of a rom-com. They should get together. This is a beautiful story. And another group that basically said what I just said, yeah, this was just a dude trying to get in where he fit in because he saw that it was somebody that was popular and he could he could apologize in front of all these people and then get the get the hearts of all the women. So, Jay, what do you think about this?
Speaker: I think it's cute. i mean, regardless of the motivation, I think it's cute. Like, he paid to go to her show. so he supported her. He brought, you know, his apology sign and his roses And apologized. You know, whatever his intentions were. I think it's cute. I think it's very nice that she forgave him. I wouldn't have.
Speaker: You know, she's better than me. No, you put gum in my hair and then I had to cut it. It was a second grade. He was seven years old. That's traumatizing. It is. Because she remembered his name. Benji.
Speaker: Yeah, you don't forget the kid. I had to cut my hair off. Because you put gum in my hair. And I'm sorry, seven, that's old enough to know better.
Speaker: Is it? I think so. i don't know. i mean, I don't think at seven, you know that there's no way to get this gum out besides cutting it out. I think you do know that. i i get i Actually, I don't think I knew that at 17. Why would you specifically put gum in someone's hair?
Speaker: if you didn't know that they weren't going be able to get it out unless cutting it out. Like, let me tell you something about people gum. That's such a specific thing to do. Let me tell you about people in gum.
Speaker: Okay. Mm-hmm. i ordered some so I ordered some dishwasher detergent in from Amazon. Okay. So in my building, we have lockers. Why they don't always put the packages in the lockers, I don't know, because they're always misplacing my packages and I can't never find them. but We have literally their Amazon lockers. Some of these Amazon workers be lazy as hell, but that's a tangent. ADHD.
Speaker: Let me come back to the point. So I go into the locker to to get my package, and it's just, you know, like a little 14-pack of the little pellets that you put in the dishwasher, right? They didn't even bother to box it up or put it in an Amazon bag. They just put a little sticker on the actual bag and threw it in the locker. And when I pulled it out, it was gum on the part that you tear to tear it open.
Speaker: Literally gum. That's gross. So people put gum everywhere. People spit out gum. You spit out gum on the street, you step on it, you can't get that off your shoe. It's on your shoe forever. don't.
Speaker: I don't spit out gum. I said people. Oh, yeah. But here's why I don't. Because one time, and I remember... See, you remember gum incidents. I was walking into the grocery store. I had on flip-flops. And somebody had just spit out some gum. And I stepped on it and my flop flipped. And it flipped up and the gum, like, got stuck to my calf. Someone's gum was... And you know, you can't scrub...
Speaker: the memory away. Like, you can disinfect and you can you can wash your leg and stuff, but the memory of that gum, somebody's random street gum, that I'm just like, I will never spit or spit out gum, anything like that again, because that was disgusting. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: So I don't spit out gum. Y'all, put the gu keep the little wrapper. Put the gum back in the little wrapper. People be throwing the wrapper on the ground. People litter. Okay? People yeah litter.
Speaker: But it's so funny because she shrieked, Benji, I hate you, when she was, like, figured out who it was. She told the crowd she had to cut her hair because of him. Benji said he came because he was in town and wanted to apologize for what happened years ago. Like I said, he had a bouquet of flowers. She forgave him and thanked him. Said she loved him and gave him a shout out. i don't not think that was a bit much. But it's a cute little story. Let me at least give her a shout out.
Speaker: Right? So her and name, she goes by Natalie Jane. Her name is Natalie Jane Janowski. ah She's a pop singer. She was born in... This is gonna bite you in your ass.
Speaker: April 25th, 2004.
Speaker: yeah She's 22. She grew up in Woodcliffe, Woodcliffe Lake, New Jersey. Our family pushed her at an early age. Her aunt is actually, was actually an opera singer. She competed in the American Idol in 2020 when she was just 16 or 17 years old. Released her debut single 2021 and broke out 2022 with when Ava went viral. She's on Capitol Records. Her second album, The World Didn't Want, dropped October 25, 2025, followed by Sabotage on March 11, 2026, and Dance Till I Die on July 31. She's raw, conversational, heartbreak pop. She says she wants every song to feel like a therapy session. So she be doing Feel My Pain music, which is kind of my alley.
Speaker: that it That's up my alley, too. I'm going to have to check her out. Yeah, you know. So shout out to Natalie and and shout out to Benji. I think it's a cute story. i think that's cute. It is a cute story. But it didn't hurt that he came with a public apology with roses and and cars. He obviously wanted... Okay.
Speaker: He wanted to get her attention. It's not like it was the biggest venue. I'm sure that she had a meet and greet that he probably could have paid for and could have done this privately. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Not always. I'm not being a cynic. I'm just saying.
Speaker: he definitely wanted to do a public apology. Yeah. Like, that that definitely was the intention to make it very, very public. It would have been super embarrassing if she didn't remember him, though. But luckily, way you put gumy gum in the hair is yeah so traumatic. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: that you do remember that. But yeah, I think that's cute. And ah yeah, I'll definitely check out her music. Going from a cute story to a story that really burns my ass. So I'm working yesterday.
Speaker: It's true. It's going to burn your ass, too. I'm working yesterday, and and the TV is Inside Edition. Inside Edition still runs, ladies and gentlemen. The fact that that show is still on. It's still on. It still runs. That is crazy. yeah And it was on mute, so it couldn't close caption and nothing was on it. But I just saw a dude really roughhousing a flamingo.
Speaker: What? In like a hallway that seemed like a hotel. And I was like, what the hell is this? Why is he manhandling a flamingo?
Speaker: The bird. The bird. Yes. The bird. real live one. real live one. Nope. Not a fake And then, like, ah I'm doing something and I look up again and he's in the courtroom crying. So I'm like, nope.
Speaker: Nope. No, need to know. gotta find out. I have to know. I have to find out. So. Cause what? Mitchell Fairburn is it was a tourist from Canada, is a tourist from Canada, and he was in Vegas. Five o'clock in the morning, hops the fence at the Flamingo Hotel, grabs a Flamingo named Peachy, and carries her up to his room on the 14th floor. oh gosh. First he told police he was trying to help the bird.
Speaker: Then he told the jury it was a prank, said he had drank 30 to 40 beers that day, 30 to 40 beers. So he thought he was going to have ah the hangover trip.
Speaker: I guess so. Instead of a tiger, it was a flamingo. I guess so. And this past Monday, October the 19th, the jury found him guilty. One felony, one misdemeanor, and sentencing in December.
Speaker: So there's more details, and I'm going to get into that. Yeah, I got... Because what... It's a flamingo. So if you see the video... He tries to, like, corner. He's like, it seems like the flamingo is trying to get away. He corners the flamingo, basically grabs it by its ah neck, slams it down on the ground.
Speaker: I couldn't hear the audio. But when I researched it, I didn't want to watch the video. It was like it was going to burn my ass again. yeah I didn't want to watch the video. But people were commenting.
Speaker: The news reports were commenting you could hear the flamingo, like, squawking and yeah obviously in distress or something like that. What in the world? So it was 5 o'clock in the morning. Security cameras caught him hopping the fence in the Flamingo habitat in the Flamingo Las Vegas Hotel and Casino. He took a Tulane Flamingo named Peachy back to his 14th floor.
Speaker: officer later found Officers later found feathers and blood there. Oh, my goodness. ah Like I said, he... What wrong with y'all? He cornered the bird, dragged it out of the enclosure before carrying it up to his room. Police report says that he he was seen laughing, saying he was taken in home as he walks back to his room.
Speaker: Guests not connected to the incident found the bird bleeding in the hallway. Pichu was later returned to the habitat. So he's up in there crying. The good thing about this is he was found guilty and could get up to five years. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, that, yeah. Because what? Because why you manhandling this, Bert?
Speaker: Every day, i think, there's no way people can surprise me. And then I hear about a Canadian man in Vegas stealing a flamingo from the Flamingo Las Vegas Hotel and Casino.
Speaker: trying to take the foot first of all i get it's five in the morning i get that but it's also las vegas so nobody saw this man said security camera said they saw him okay like in the lobby as he's coming through with a flamingo getting on the elevator like all of that like nobody caught him yeah nobody said anything I mean, I get it's Vegas and, like, what happens? Yeah, stays, blah, blah, blah, blah. But, like, that's kind of crazy to see.
Speaker: And no one at the hotel was like, hey, you can't have a whole ass bird in here. yeah And flamingos aren't little birds. Yeah. No, they're not. It was like standing up. It was like up to his, the right above his belly button. It gets worse.
Speaker: You want to hear more details? It gets worse. During the trial, the vet testified to seven to eight missing feathers, broken shafts, and blood loss consistent with trauma, preachy-needed antibiotics, anti-inflammatories, and weeks of pain medication. Prosecutors showed Snapchat clips of him smiling, laughing, grabbing Peachy by the neck with two friends. The vet called the neck grab potentially fatal.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: do what Do you think do you think it this is a stuffed animal? That you could grab it? It's its actual neck. Like you can't just drag it.
Speaker: Like think about dragging a human being by their neck. I feel like he should be dragged every day that he's in jail by everything that he did. He should get every day in jail for Peachy.
Speaker: However, and I feel I, I look down upon myself for feeling somewhat gleefully about what I'm getting ready to say next.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Because he's a Canadian citizen. Mm-hmm. And he was arrested here in the States. Mm-hmm. They weren't letting him out on bail. Right. So he had to stay here. Mm-hmm. Flight risk. Flight risk.
Speaker: Well, it meant he couldn't go back home. Right? Yeah. His father passed away during this time that he was in jail. Ah. And I was like, that really does suck that you weren't there to see your father.
Speaker: However... Had you not done this, you would have been. You would have been. Yeah. So that, I mean... I kind of was like, that's what you get, but I don't want to say that, even though I just put it out here on the airwaves and it's going to be reached out to at least thousands of people.
Speaker: but Choices have consequences. Exactly. Even, on in yeah you know, certainly unintended ones. I'm assuming this is probably a sudden passing since he went to Vegas. I don't think you would go on a Vegas trip knowing your father is dying, or unless you would, I don't know. But like, you know. Well, this happened March the 3rd. he's been in custody for about, what, seven months.
Speaker: Okay, okay. So, yeah. Yeah, that's sad. The whole story is sad, honestly. But but yeah, your your actions have consequences. And sometimes those consequences are can be devastating.
Speaker: You know, you got to think about things like that. I mean, nobody thinks about if I do something crazy and then somebody in my life dies, like, what am I going to do? You know, that's a very extreme example. But
Speaker: accountability hurts sometimes. Yeah. When I was watching it and I couldn't get any, there was no closed caption. I couldn't hear any sound and I was just watching it. yeah I was like, yeah, he's, this is, this is the type of person that would do something like this.
Speaker: This is the type of person. that if you if Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know if I encourage you guys to go watch the video. If you're not squeamish, which we're about to get into. Yeah, we're about to get into that in the next segment of why some people wouldn't be squeamish watching this video. But if you're not squeamish, go ahead. You can see how he treated this animal. And some some people would be like, it's just an animal.
Speaker: Now, once again, this next segment is definitely about you. But, like... When you watch it and you see it, you'll be like, oh yeah, that's who I expected a person would do something that would like that. This is who I would expect they would look like. Yeah, no, this fits.
Speaker: This fits. Another thing, this wasn't the first time an animal has been harmed at the Flamingo's habitat. So the Flamingo Hotel needs to do a better job with their security. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. Because the the first incident should have been the last one. The fact that somebody was able to jump into the enclosure and take what I'm assuming is one of several flamingos. Yeah, they got a whole habitat of flamingos. Chilean flamingos. Yeah.
Speaker: The fact that somebody was able to do this and just kind of just walk off with a flamingo sun at the flamingo whole hotel, like, that something's wrong with that. You need to, yeah, y'all gonna need to step up that security. Or, how about this?
Speaker: Don't keep the the birds at a hotel. Well, I mean, it's called the Flamingo Hotel. Yeah, but... like It was a hotel that Benny... It's not the exact same hotel because that one was torn down and replaced, but it was ah was the first major casino. It was the casino that Benny Siegel built. fla they keep they're trying to keep a mascot.
Speaker: They're trying to keep mascots, right? are I mean, yeah, it's Flamingo Hotel. Yeah, why not just put them in a habitat where they actually will be safe? Because this isn't it, clearly. ok The Las Vegas Strip. Does not appear to be the safest place for flamingos. Well, they just need to do better. so They need to have better security. How about that?
Speaker: Or they need to put them flamingos back in their natural habitat. and Well, there's that too. And that's a whole separate conversation about what we do to animals for our own entertainment. But...
Speaker: I told something for those people that would want to watch this video because they're just like it's animals or who wouldn't feel anything. We're going to be talking about empathy next.
Speaker: All all right, Jay. Everybody is acting like empathy gap is some brand new thing or the empathy trap is some brand new thing. Like social media broke us.
Speaker: I don't buy empathy trap, the empathy trap and gap. Don't worry. I'm going to get into all of them, but okay people are saying that now is a time where people are lacking empathy. And I'm saying, i don't buy it. Right.
Speaker: Right. This is how it's always been specifically in this country. The only difference is back in the day, people kept it in their dining room at the barbershop or at the country club. Now they put it on video.
Speaker: They post it. They go live with it. Technology didn't create this lack of empathy. It just took the mask off. We love to tell ourselves like Selma woke America up.
Speaker: Like folks saw the footage and suddenly cared. yeah But America knew. America always knew. And even after it's solved, the majority of the people still didn't want that movement.
Speaker: So now the manosphere comes along talking about the empathy gap or trap against men. And I want to look at that honestly, because words get taken and twisted, and it's not what that phrase was built to mean.
Speaker: But I'm not... Can I just say... Can I just finish my little thing? The manosphere, I really hate it I know, but... Go ahead. But... I'm not gonna wave it all off away either. Because there is a little piece in there that is true what they're talking about. But here's the thing. The guys yelling the loudest about men not getting empathy might be the most sensitive men on the internet. So...
Speaker: I'm just going to read off a couple of stats that have to do about empathy. This empathy gap is not new. Technology, like I said, just made it visible. In 1991, Gallup, the Gallup poll, ladies a gentlemen and gentlemen, in 19, excuse me, 1991, 1961. In 1961, the gallup poll.
Speaker: gave this step. 61% disapproved of ah what the Freedom Riders were doing. The Freedom Riders were the ones that were going down to the South to register Black people to vote because Black people were supposed to have the right to vote.
Speaker: Okay? Yeah. In 1963, another Gallup poll, 60% viewed the March on Washington negatively, saying that it would cause violence and accomplish nothing. The March on Washington, ladies and gentlemen, was when Martin Luther King gave his I Have a Dream speech.
Speaker: 60% of America viewed that as negative. It gets worse. In 1963, another Gallup poll said that 78% of white people would leave if many black peoples moved into their neighborhood.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. In 1964, a Gallup poll said 74% said mass demonstrations hurt the cause. Only 16% said that they helped. Demonstrations. So what these were, were nonviolent.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. protests you know like the marches when they were sick and the dogs on on people right let's let's be clear the protesters were non-violent right right right the protesters were non-violent 74 74 of america no it's gonna hurt the cause yeah no it's gonna hurt the causes Yeah. Hey, this isn't a hot take, but Martin Luther King, the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I'm going get Will you please not jump ahead? Will you please not jump ahead? I'm sorry. I'm going to let you cook. I'm going to let you cook. Yeah, just let me know when I can jump
Speaker: You can always jump in It's the sibling happy hour. But like, literally, I wish you would check the notes. I am looking them. Yeah, I think I have them all down here. So I think you know that I'm about to get to that. But before I get to that, in August 1964, a month after the Civil Rights Act was signed, King sat at a 44% favorable rating, unfavorable.
Speaker: In August 1966, King set a 33% favorable and a 63% unfavorable. It was his lowest numbers ever. Now, listen to that.
Speaker: During the 60s, when Martin Luther King was alive, fighting for the rights of the disenfranchised, Americans looked at him negatively. And let's be clear when I say Americans.
Speaker: and talking about the white ones. Now, Jade, definitely interject, because this is with the point that she was trying to make. Yeah, they assassinated him. Yeah, that came. Yeah.
Speaker: So that's like, like ah we love to look back on history and say that the doctor the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King wonderfully did all these wonderful things. And all of that is true. But what is not true is that he was beloved for these things. No, he was imprisoned.
Speaker: He was beaten. He was murdered. So like, and and now now we know that that he was on, of course, the right side of history. At the time, at the time none of this was popular, right?
Speaker: Because get out um disenfranchised people, Black folks, trying to establish their rights, their civil rights, their what should be God-given rights in this country,
Speaker: was not favorable by and large to the American public. They did not like it.
Speaker: And do you know why sentiment changed once? And ah man, King was so smart and so strategic by televising the revolution, right?
Speaker: The reason, it it wasn't empathy. It wasn't empathy seeing the fire hoses and the dogs and the the police attacking and the beatings and all of this. ah it wasn't empathy. It was because this was a known fact.
Speaker: Right. This was known. That black people were being brutalized in this country and being disenfranchised in this country. This was a known fact.
Speaker: What changed was seeing it, being forced to see it on your local news or on national television means that you can't hide behind your ignorance any longer.
Speaker: And it forced the, what King called the white moderate, who is the most dangerous person, right? It forced them to pick a side.
Speaker: And to stand for something. Because when it was so egregious and placed in their living rooms, they did not have a choice. The choice was forced.
Speaker: And still the polling shows that the thing was largely unfavorable. Dig this as far as a polling. In 1964, the Gallup poll again ranked King II among Americans people respected the least.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. ranked second. Yeah. That means there was only one person above him. And it was at 42%, 42% of America in 1964. Now, let's fast forward. Let's flip it. Who was the person above him, Malcolm X? Probably in 1964. I don't know. i don't have that because ah that wasn't what I was. I just wanted to, you know, yeah focus on the fact that he was second, least respected. And in 2011, another poll was taken. 94% of Americans viewed King favorably.
Speaker: We love him dead. We fought him when he was alive. So i say all that to say this. Technology has not made us less empathetic.
Speaker: It is just putting in your face that people don't have empathy. We didn't get crueler. Just got a microphone in the comments section. and Oh, my God. If you read the comments section, especially on Twitter, people are vile. Yes. You want to know how vile vile they are? This is a detour. Okay.
Speaker: Vivivik Vamerswamy, whatever the boy name is, is running for governor in Ohio. i don't know if you are aware of this. Just released an ad of his candidate, Ms. Action, who's running for governor in Ohio.
Speaker: her mom, right? So in this ad, it's her mom saying that she's a liar, lied about her past, this and that, right? Which could be extremely damaging yeah to a political... You're a political opponent when they got their own mother saying, hey, this candidate is a liar. They've been lying about their life.
Speaker: They ain't nothing. Here's the catch. hey And Vivek Mambeswami, whatever the boy's name is, knew all this.
Speaker: Ms. Action had been estranged from her mother since she was 12 years old, since 1978. Hadn't seen a mother interacting with her mother. And why? Why?
Speaker: Because the man that her mother was married to had it sexually assaulted her. Jeez. Charges were filed, and he fled the state. He was a few he died a fugitive in 2004. The mother chose him.
Speaker: So that's what I'm saying, right? Like Vivek Ramashwamy Kwame. Vivek Ramashwamy. Right, that that dude.
Speaker: Yeah. So vile, so lacking in empathy. Yeah. That he would put out an ad that he knows this is the story behind it. And you know what's worse?
Speaker: The story, he got backlash from it. Everybody came out with a true story of why we shouldn't trust the mother. He doubled down. Guess who else doubled down? A lot of his right-wing...
Speaker: people that rile with him, people like Megyn Kelly, who's vile, right? Who just who who just a couple of weeks ago said something about Jane Doe and and at the Cornell University talking about this is all made up.
Speaker: she She just wanted attention and she finally got attention because she's not attractive. She's got cankles. This is the same thing. These people have always existed.
Speaker: Now they've got microphones. Yeah. Now they've got video cameras. This is nothing new. None of this is new. There's always been a lack of empathy.
Speaker: Yeah, I would argue that America is not, and nor has it ever been, an empathetic nation.
Speaker: I don't know when we have ever acted not for our own self-interest, even to the detriment of other innocent people.
Speaker: Sometimes even the detriment to ourselves. A detriment to ourselves. Correct. So the fact that we are hard-pressed to find empathetic people...
Speaker: in this country is not surprising to me. yeah i'm I'm curious about... I understand the empathy gap, but what is the empathy trap? I'm gonna get into that, but I just wanna... Let me cook. Let me cook, okay? and I'm building to it. You know I'm a builder, right? But yeah like yeah there's other things that wanna talk about as far as this technology angle, angle right? okay Seeing suffering has never automatically produced caring.
Speaker: right Seeing it has always been step one. Deciding that they count has always been the part that people have had a hard time with. Right. So back to your original point, when the the Selma and seeing the hoses and the attack on on on by the dogs and the beaten by the police and the people that are marching for simply their rights given to them by the Constitution, people that were seeing that had a choice because they were now confronted with it, like you said. hmm.
Speaker: Doesn't matter. Do I care? Are they people? Because historically in this country, Black people haven't, they've been property. They haven't been people. A 2025 study found simply witnessing police violence isn't enough to drive reform without acknowledging its systematic nature.
Speaker: yeah So, yeah, people can see police violence and they see people getting shot and killed. not just by police, by ICE, and they can have to decide, well, is this person worthy enough for me to care?
Speaker: And if they deem the person not worthy enough, they'll make an excuse to justify the actions of an unjustified killing. Yeah, ah a very good example is rosa Parks.
Speaker: So initially it was a young Black woman who refused to give up her seat. She was darker skinned. She was young.
Speaker: So the decision was made to sort of reenact this using Rosa, who was lighter skinned, a bit older, and ah would come off as more sympathetic.
Speaker: Right. So it's it's always like this little bit of strategy that you have to... employ Because we saw it with the death of George Floyd, the first thing that happens when a Black person is killed by police is that we parade their life out for the public to judge whether or not this person's death is worthy of our care. And if they deem for any reason whatsoever that this person
Speaker: might not be worthy of our care, which typically they do decide that that is the case, right? then it doesn't matter how many times we say, say their name,
Speaker: And list off the names, the ever-growing list of names, if every single time we have to litigate in the court of public opinion that this person's life was worthy. Hence, Black Lives Matter.
Speaker: So this is not new to us whatsoever. This idea, because what comes out of a lack of empathy, of a lack of being able to put yourself in another person's shoes, what comes out of that is an erasure of that person's humanity.
Speaker: It's an erasure of that person's value, importance, all of that in in your eyes and in the eyes of society. And then when we can dehumanize people, when we can remove their value and their importance, then we can do whatever we want to them and not feel a damn thing about it.
Speaker: yeah And tell me that doesn't accurately sum up the history of this country. It does.
Speaker: It does. But you've asked me, what is the empathy gap? What is empathy empathy trap? Bruce, what's this connection here? So the empathy gap in psychology originally meant the hot-cold gap was coined by George Lowenstein. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: What that meant is, like, we underestimate how hunger, anger, or fear will drive our own choices. The research also backed what you're describing and what I've been describing as the racial empathy gap. People feel more empathy watching white skin being pierced than black skin. White participants and black participants and nurses all assume black people feel less pain than white people. Now, what is the connection? Because I brought up the manosphere. The manosphere took the phrase and pointed it at women and society, not at the people historically left out.
Speaker: of empathy, right? These are the women and people of color are people that have typically been left out of the empathy discussion. Not these men in the menosphere, but they're flipping it, right? And it's the same playbook as they've done with woke, D-I-C-R-T, take the real term, empty it out, fill it with the grievance of ah their own. so Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Basically what the Manosphere is saying is that there is an empathy trap. And the empathy trap is is that women will require men to show softness, to have empathy towards them, right? Towards towards women.
Speaker: hu And when men do that, this is their...
Speaker: this is their corning of it. Corning. Yeah. Corning of it. Mm-hmm. That when men do that, women flip the script and throw back in their faces.
Speaker: Now,
Speaker: I disagree with the fact that this is Uh...
Speaker: ah a large trend that's going on. Yeah, that's not... don't disagree with the fact that that happens. Oh, yeah. And I don't disagree with the fact of a male loneliness because male pain is real. Yes. Male suicide rates nearly are four times that of women. Roughly 92% of workplace deaths are men.
Speaker: Yeah. So there's a small kernel of truth... That some women, though they say they want that type of empathy and softness coming from a man, the way they respond to it sometimes is not favorable.
Speaker: and And then I was like, I don't feel like dealing with these red pillars, but it's not just a red pill talking point. Bren Brown, who is a feminist, found this pattern in her... Brené brene brown Brené Brown, who is a feminist, right? Has her own podcast and stuff like that. I forgot to put it on there, what her podcast is. Found this pattern in her own research with men. She wrote that women ask men to be vulnerable, but in the moment real vulnerability happens, most recoil, and that shows up as disappointment or disgust. And I've often brought that up brought this up on the show. that sometimes women can ask for something out of men, but it goes against patriarchy.
Speaker: Yep, that's what i was going to say. and and And patriarchy isn't just a thing that men were taught. It's an entire system that affects all genders. Yes.
Speaker: Yes. So women are like, i want a so I want a man that will listen to me, be sensitive to my needs, this and that, and be sensitive and open to me. I need him to open up and be emotional about what's going on in his life.
Speaker: Then when The men do that. In some cases, this is not an epidemic, but it does happen. is The women recoil. Oh, this is not what I've been taught a man is.
Speaker: yes I reject this. whether I believe it's more subconscious than conscious. But this is one of the rare times when I'm like, all right, the manosphere is throwing a lot of things out there. a broke clock is right twice a day.
Speaker: They got a little, there's a little kernel truth in this, but it's coming from bad faith. Yeah, it's is it it's being propagated like it's a widespread issue when it's not. I would say the majority of women are instead encouraging men to get therapy. But like, so a couple things are happening, right? So one, it is the patriarchy.
Speaker: It's just like how we as Black people say not all skin folk is kinfolk, right? Like not all of us are for Black justice and liberation. The same can be true of women, right? They can be just as bound up in patriarchy and the expectations of the sexes, ah the social expectations of the sexes,
Speaker: Just as much. I mean, we see as a ah huge trad wife movement, right? Or pick me's or all kinds of you see them at Trump rallies to like women that's like, oh oh, he could grab me by the like it's there are there are trash women.
Speaker: There are trash men because people can be trash. So that can be true. And it is right. People can be trash no matter who you are. Doesn't matter what economic circumstance, race, class, gender, any of that doesn't matter. Anybody has the capacity to be trash. If you don't take anything away from me today,
Speaker: Take that. Okay. And the the next thing, though, is a lot of times people ask for things they don't have the capacity for. Mm hmm.
Speaker: You are not a therapist. Sometimes the stuff that you thought he would just complain about work or, you know, maybe some family things, a little all his favorite sports teams not doing well, but then he drops on you some real trauma.
Speaker: And you are not equipped to handle that. And you didn't think that that was even in there, right? Because because men are taught to be ah stoic, right? They're meant to, they're taught to be strong. They're taught to be like almost impenetrable, right? So, so when you do find out, oh, there's a lot in here that I did not know and I am not equipped to handle and I asked for it, but I don't have the capacity for it. And a lot of people can't articulate that well.
Speaker: Yeah. Right. So one, people can be trashed. Two, people can always, people can ask for things they don't have the capacity to receive. A lot of times your eyes are bigger than your stomach.
Speaker: But the idea that this is up ah ah the condition of all women is ridiculous.
Speaker: yeah I think we're, if you take what we've been saying and, you know, what is the majority saying? We're saying get therapy, get healed and get in in touch with your emotions and build up and work on your emotional intelligence. We're all, we're all talking about that, not just for ourselves, but for a men. And i think, I think it's disingenuous to say that there is a trap to,
Speaker: of empathy I think you've dated people who are trash and they, or they didn't have the capacity to handle you at your fullest.
Speaker: To tie it in, this quote unquote empathy trap, it doesn't just deal with women. The Manosphere is also talking about all this stuff online that's that is meant to show you things that are happening to marginalized people to get you to care is also an empathy trap and that you should reject it. So, just to bring it all back forward, they're saying that What Martin Luther King was doing back in the day back in the day was an empathy trap.
Speaker: It was to get you to care about something that you shouldn't care about. And the only thing that you should be focused on, these is are these red pillar, manosphere, incel-type dudes, is to work out, get your money, be in shape, and be an alpha male.
Speaker: And all of that you're doing for what? know what they're doing it for. For each other's validation, truly. But typically what you're doing that for is to, you know, encourage the opposite sex to look at you. Or, you know, same sex. A lot of these people want the same sex people. A lot of y'all do. And I feel like you just don't know that. Right. Because I feel like being an alpha male in their mind is the opposite
Speaker: of being in touch with your sexuality if your sexuality is, I like men. Right. you cant Even though... their mind, they can't be... Go ahead.
Speaker: In their mind, they can't be an alpha male and be gay. In their mind. Yes. But... a lot of what makes an alpha male an alpha male is male validation and attention. So it's weird... It's weird....that y'all are like, I want to be surrounded with dudes. I want dudes to think I'm cool and dudes to think I'm swollen rich and that I'm and i'm also as good as them. i need their validation and their acceptance, but I don't like dudes.
Speaker: I just really, really like dudes. Like, it doesn't... yeah I feel like, you know, y'all need to do some self-discovery, but all of that comes through in therapy, I think. No. they yeah charles did But yeah, like this, the patriarchy, like all of this is literally killing y'all.
Speaker: yeah And it has been for you. four Men are four times more likely to commit suicide than women. Yes. Men out there. like Like you're in pain. Why you why are you thinking in pain? Because you ain't dealing with the stuff that you need to be dealing with. That's not a weakness.
Speaker: That's straight to me to deal with the stuff so that maybe, maybe you can heal yourself properly. And, I don't know, not unalive yourself. Or maybe find a significant other, male or female. Because it seems like a lot of y'all would prefer a male in your life. And you're trying to reconcile with that in any way that you seem possible. But what I can say is that I believe...
Speaker: that even though there are some women out there, and I don't know what the numbers are, it's not a small number because I've experienced this in my own personal life where women are like, women are always telling me, will will you open up and talk to me?
Speaker: Because people would think, me being the host of this show, that Bruce must be, and I'm a cancer, that Bruce must be just wide open with his emotions. Nope.
Speaker: Anything that's deep, anything that's deep, I'm not talking about that. I'll tell y'all about a divorce. I'll tell y'all about a breakup. I'll tell you about my dog dying. What I won't tell you about is how I've really felt about all those things, the deep, yeah deep emotional ties. I'm not bringing that up. So women would be like,
Speaker: I feel like you should open up. And I'm like, oh, no, you don't. You don't want me to open up because the moment I open up, I become less than a man in your eyes. I'm not tough enough because what women truly want is a man that can build a house and and and and throw them over their shoulder and and and kill the snake in the yard. I'm not doing none of that.
Speaker: I'll throw you over my shoulder, but I'm not killing no snake in the yard, and I can't build no house. Look, if you want me to build a house, it's not gonna be habitable. We can't live there, okay? the Listen, the foundation pouring had already went wrong. I didn't measure it out. It's lopsided. We live it. We live it on a hill, walking up a hill in the house because I ain't love a little right. That's not my bag. That's not who I am. But for these manosphere men to think that these women are purposely doing this. No, it is not deception. This is their subconscious because they've been taught.
Speaker: This isn't what a man is supposed to be through patriarchy. And it everybody has to be deprogrammed. Everybody has to be deprogrammed.
Speaker: Because it's not just a personal thing. Patriarchy is a political system. It is a part of all of ah all of these forms of oppression are political social systems. They are part of our institutions. It's not just deprogramming our mind. It's also deprogramming society.
Speaker: It's also like, ah if we if we don't want to say that, like, gender roles are a real thing, right? That women are supposed to cook and clean and raise the kids and men go out and make the money. If we are saying that, then we need to start thinking about how we market toys to children.
Speaker: and There's so many ways in which, like... This is a part of who we are as a society. Yeah.
Speaker: And it, and none of us are fully out of the trap, right? None of us are. And so, yeah this is, this is is not like an easy fix.
Speaker: It's not an easy fix. and And also you have to want to stop blaming everyone except you. Yeah. i just If you're lonely, it's not because everybody in the world has decided that you are unworthy. Yeah. And also, your standards might be too high. I mean, yeah, I'm sure you want the baddie, but if you look like Shrek, sorry, bruh.
Speaker: Odds are you not going to get her attention. Shrek didn't even get her as a baddie. Nope, he didn't. And also, Hitch isn't a real store, right? No. Like, there is nobody out there. that There is no real Hitch. If it was anybody close to it, it'd be me. Because I could coach you in into getting these women. But just want... like, this idea of, like, it's in our sitcoms, right? Where you've got the the king of queens guy with the hot wife.
Speaker: Well, he became not hot when they were dating. He was. Yeah. Because Kevin James, if you look at young Kevin James pictures, Kevin James, we detour.
Speaker: This is a detour. Let's let's stick to this let's stick to the topic. ADHD, ladies and gentlemen. I'm just saying, like, even in our media, you see this, like, really?
Speaker: Yeah. yeah Sometimes mediocre guy, right? It's the homeless Homer and Marge Simpson. Marge has tried to walk away from that marriage. Yeah. for the last 30, 40 years, however long The Simpsons been on.
Speaker: Because she really is outstanding woman with this mediocre health. We see it, and but that's not reality. Yeah. You want to be equally yoked.
Speaker: All right, look, I'm just going to end this topic with this. And this is all those Manus Pharoid Red Pill alpha males, incels out there, okay? Who probably aren't listening to our show unless they hate watching. Nope, they hate listening. Trust me, because I get their comments. Hi, guys! Yeah, I get their comments. Y'all are lame.
Speaker: Sensitive isn't an insult. Being sensitive is not an insult. Everybody is sensitive. Mm-hmm. The problem is pretending that you're not.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: All right, before we get out of here, I got to end on something like shout out to Erin over at Label Me Loved. It's at Label Me Loved underscore on Instagram because she posted a thread called Why Ends at Work? And it's people telling stories about young folks working the register, the drive-through, the customer service line. And I'm telling you, these young people have no filter, no fear, and absolutely no customer service training. yeah And honestly, some of them ain't wrong. So, Jay, you ready to hear some of these little little stories about these Y-Ns at the job?
Speaker: I am... so excited about this. Okay. So let's go to this first one. There's a lady that posted this on Instagram. I was in Walmart and asked a girl for help.
Speaker: Mind you, she had a full uniform on and she said, do I look like I work here? I said, yes. She looked down at her uniform and said, my bad, follow me.
Speaker: She forgot she was at work that day. still the that And I find that hilarious because what you doing in the Walmart then? I look like I work here? Yes. Yes. You do. Oh, my bad.
Speaker: Wow. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Maybe she was high something. right. Here's the next one. I ordered unsweet tea. He gave me sweet tea. So I said, oh, excuse me. I said, unsweet.
Speaker: He says, my bad. I thought you made a mistake. I said, nope. I wanted unsweet. He laughed dead in my face and said, you wild for that. Taste buds strong as hell.
Speaker: was choked. I was choked.
Speaker: Oh my goodness. Look, these kids is crazy. And I'm here for it. No, because unsweetened tea tastes like nothing. So why do you want unsweetened tea? Your taste buds must be strong as hell. No, that's actual... I've always wondered that. Who is that? Why are people out here drinking unsweetened tea? Right. What are y'all doing? Unless you go put some vodka in it, that's the only reason why I would do it. But okay, here's another one. This Publix. This is right down the road from you.
Speaker: i was looking at danishes they had on sale at Publix. I said, oh, I don't like chocolate. Publix bakery kid says we had them in raspberry too. I said, I don't like raspberry either.
Speaker: He says, well, then this is not the sale for you. Yeah. I mean, and that's the truth. this is just Listen, a lot of this, y'all might... Oh, yeah, that's terrible customer service. so allowed to No. the The truth of the matter is, why are you over here still looking? These Danish's aren't for you. Danish's aren't for you. they You don't like chocolate or i offered you alternative, you don't like that? Okay, well, this is for you. Right. There's no point of you still standing over here by these Danish's. I said they wild, but a lot of these is true. So they just, it's real truthful. You know what? i I feel like these, these young kids, the the young gen alpha, gen Z and gen alpha,
Speaker: are are what kids should always be. So you ever talk to a little kid, they are like brutally honest. Yes. Brutally honest. Yeah. these did They just didn't grow out of that, which is actually refreshing. her Yes. Hurtful, but refreshing. It is hurtful. it'll be, boy, your most sensitive thing. And a kid will be like, why your teeth look like that?
Speaker: Yeah. All right, here's another one. I'm working on it. Here's another one. I was buying a gift card for a two-year-old, so I put $20 on the card that had a price range of $20 to $100. Why would he say, damn, the bare minimum?
Speaker: First of all, it's for two-year-old. Second of all, mind your business. Yeah. Because I just watched you put $4.87 in your gas tank. Oh, my goodness. So, we want talk about the bare minimum. See, that'll have me fighting in the store. Because, first your business. He didn't know it was for a two-year-old. He just knew that she was putting the bare minimum on there. Right. So, if you don't know, mind your business. Because... Also, it bare minimum. don't need you pointing out.
Speaker: That's the thing. The young are too damn honest and they don't realize you don't have to say everything you think. Like, I feel like that comes with age. Where it's like kids just say whatever they think.
Speaker: I think it comes with age of like, is my opinion going to be helpful in this situation? No, then I'm to keep it to myself. That comes with experience.
Speaker: Yeah. Okay, here's another one. i asked one for help. He was walking so fast through the store, he turned around and said, Auntie, keep up. And here's another one. We went to a bowling alley for my 31st this year.
Speaker: The boys at the register were 17 and 18. When we walked up to the counter, one of them said, look at y'all having an Auntie link up.
Speaker: ah worst that The worst thing truly that ever happened... is Auntie and Unk. I feel like that's honestly, and I'm really proud of being an auntie, but man, sometimes it really does hurt when you hear it.
Speaker: Yeah, it hurts. From the youth. ah Dang, auntie, keep up. Look at y'all having an auntie link up. Like that, like we're not supposed to do anything else, but cook and clean, take care of y'all.
Speaker: And don't say it with like, it's so condescending. That's another thing. Kids are condescending as hell. All right, here's another one. I was confirming my email address and said, at Hotmail, the CVS guy said, damn, Archie, you were the first in line when they started making emails.
Speaker: Yo, having a Hotmail account is crazy work. That's crazy work. I saw almost somebody with an AOL account recently. Recently. AOL.com. So it's like, okay, if you... ain't got no Gmail.
Speaker: What y'all doing out here? Y'all still logging into the Hotmail? Y'all still logging into AOL.com? Please. Please stop aging yourselves like this.
Speaker: Oh, here's another one talks about age. Was buying wine, he asked for my ID. As he was squinting trying to find a date, he gonna say, 19? oh my bad, OG.
Speaker: I was flabbergasted. yeah Yeah. These kids look at 19 like it was so long ago. I mean, when you just said 22-year-old
Speaker: was born Was she born in 2004? Is that what you said? the Natalie Jane? Yes. 2004. Yeah. That's a fully adult woman that was born after I graduated high school. Yeah. She was born while i was in college.
Speaker: That is hard to swallow. Yeah.
Speaker: these next These next couple is when people are going to say these young kids don't want to work. So I was at a food line and a YN was checking me out. I told him I had a case of water at the bottom of the cart. And he said, don't pick that ish up.
Speaker: It's on the house today. They about to fire me anyway. No, that's just him keeping it real. I probably would have done the same thing. I'm not wasting my time bending over to scan it. And I don't want to have you lift it up. Guess what? It's on the house because they about to fire me. So honestly, do what you want.
Speaker: oh Here's another one. I remember during Christmas season last year, the lines were packed at TJ Maxx. I found a bed set with no tag. I took it to the front for a price check, and the Wyand smacked his lips and printed out a $4.99 tag and said, i ain't finna go look for no damn price.
Speaker: Also, it's the rush. It's busy in here. There's, uh, it... And you know, during that time when it gets real busy, the store's a mess. Right.
Speaker: You don't want to... I know I'm not going to the back... One thing I used to hate when I was a YN working retail, don't ask me to check the back. It ain't. Listen, we do.
Speaker: we do We stock. yeah We the inventory. Sometimes it would be in the back, though. Sometimes it would be in the back. guy It doesn't matter. like yeah It don't matter. My job is to stock the shelves, which means I done pulled it from the back and put it on the shelves. ain't on the shelves. We ain't got it.
Speaker: Right. No, I'm not going through it Do you know what the back looks like? That's the thing. Y'all don't know what the back looks like. No clue. It's a mess back there. And no, I'm not digging through that stuff. And there'd be all kinds of bugs and stuff. I'm not going back there. don't want to go back there to look for this lotion that you got to have. Go to another store.
Speaker: ah I was at McDonald's drive-thru and I only ordered a medium fry. At the next window, he hands me a big bag. I'm like, sorry, I think you gave me someone else's order. I just ordered fries. He goes, well, there's fries in there, right?
Speaker: And closed the window.
Speaker: Yeah. So that means that's your order now. Congratulations. I mean, these people, they're not lying. that's what They're not lying. They're not lying. It's like, it's fries in there, right? And I hate the quick wit of these young people. That's bothers That's the thing that kills me the most. is It's the uncle, the auntie, OG. That's the first thing. Second second is the condescension.
Speaker: And then it's the fact that y'all so quick. so That's so annoying. That... Because y'all come right back. Y'all come right back. And it's always the most condescending... God. I hate kids. Talk about condescending.
Speaker: This next one. I ordered a large lemonade from the California barbecue through the drive-thru. pulled up. He gonna hand it out the window, talk about, here you go, diabetes.
Speaker: Now that is just messed up. I mean, look, you get the lemonade. The first one, the other one with the unsweetened tea, tastes but strong as hell. This one, you get the lemonade from a California barbecue.
Speaker: You get the large lemonade at that. Yeah, you got diabetes. He mixed it. He knows how much sugar is in there. He knows how much sugar in there. And you want the large.
Speaker: You want the large. All right, here you go, big gulp. All right, here's another one. I went to Chick-fil-A, had on some brown joggy pants and a yellow T-shirt. The YN handed me my food and said, okay, SpongeBob, I see you.
Speaker: It was funny because he was so right. Yeah. Because first of all, why did why did you do the yellow and brown? that's First of all, that's not even a cute color combination, period. You were asking for trouble. And you know who's responsible ultimately for all of this, for these kids' mouths?
Speaker: Us, millennials. We're responsible. Because we're the ones that started Like when we compliment somebody or talk about somebody, we take what we see and we make it a thing.
Speaker: You got on polka dot shirt? Okay, polka dots, calm down. Like we did this. yeah And so now they're looking at us like, all right, SpongeBob, I see you. Like we we're responsible. We are. We are. And we're getting back. We're getting it back.
Speaker: yeah we're getting to back all right, last one. I go to McDonald's a lot, and one day I was like, you always at work. And he was like, so what does that tell you? That you need to slow down.
Speaker: Right, because why are you here for every one of my shifts? Damn, why are you at this McDonald's? Right, why are you at this McDonald's for every one of my shifts?
Speaker: You need to slow down. you You a big Mac away. from it all being done. Right. do That's just... that Honestly, it's honest. A lot of this is a little wake-up call that some some of us need.
Speaker: You're right. You know? Yeah. But, Jay, what do you want to tell these people before we get out of here? Change your smoke detector batteries. Jesus.
Speaker: lord Hey, ladies and gentlemen, I know y'all are hearing all types of sounds. That's on my sister's ends because I'm in a soundproof area. I don't have extra sounds. You don't hear them when I'm doing the interviews. It's always my sister. And it's either a dog scratching, dog moving, or more recently, smoke detector just going off repeatedly. Yep. I don't know what room it's in.
Speaker: And it ain't even though iin' like i got i like I live in a mansion. I got all these rooms. I don't. ah Have I looked as hard as I could have? Absolutely not. no Clearly not. Because else I would have changed. back Do I have batteries? Yes.
Speaker: I have everything I need fix this problem. YN walked into your house right now, they'd be like, oh, you living up to the stereotypes, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, chirp, chirp. I hear you.
Speaker: ah Ladies and gentlemen, I don't have a closing monologue. I will get back to it in a week. I'm still recovering from being sick. I haven't had time to sit down and gather my thoughts. That takes a little effort to write that down and to craft it so that it's somewhat done well. I will come back to that. So I don't have any closing shots, but I will leave you with this.
Speaker: You can't always have understanding. But you can always have empathy. The choice is yours. Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for listening.
Speaker: I want to thank you for watching. And until next time, as always, I'll holler. Woo! That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our podcast wherever you're listening or watching it to it. Pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock will will enjoy it also. So share the wealth, share the knowledge, share the noise.
Speaker: And for all those people that say, well, I don't have a YouTube. If you have a Gmail account, you have a YouTube. Subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can actually watch our video podcast and YouTube exclusive content. stays the same But the Real Party is on our Patreon page. After Hours Uncensored and Talking Straight-ish, After Hours Uncensored is another show with my sister. And once again, the key word there is uncensored. Those are exclusively on our Patreon page.
Speaker: Jump onto our website at unsolicitedperspective.com for all things us. That's where you can get all of our audio, video, our blogs, and even buy our merch. And if you really feel generous and want to help us out, you can donate on our donations page. Donations go strictly to improving our software and hardware so we can keep giving you guys good content that you can clearly listen to and that you can clearly see. So any donation would be appreciative.
Speaker: Most importantly, I want to say thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening and watching and supporting us. And I'll catch you next time. Audi 5000. Peace.
