Transcript
Speaker: My wife and I, we are with child.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Daddy's girl.
Speaker: This is daddy's girl.
Speaker: This girl has tried my every last nerve.
Speaker: yo yo yo welcome to the other side where people often see a and z but don't see b through y we're your hosts i'm greg trey and i have my lovely wife here megan johnson that's right megan johnson and you are now tuned in to episode seven this is a special edition this is a special edition of the tos podcast and we're going to be talking about all things relationships
Speaker: all things marriage and specifically our marriage so we're gonna give people inside look how do you feel being on the podcast how do you feel i feel good good th is is like something i enjoyed doing with you okay yeah talking in front of the camera yeah yeah i miss it okay i miss it oh okay
Speaker: Well, I'm glad to have you on here.
Speaker: And this is the first time on the TOS podcast we get a woman's perspective on things.
Speaker: So how do you feel being the first woman ever on the TOS podcast?
Speaker: Honored.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: Sounds good.
Speaker: Sounds good.
Speaker: Well, if you guys didn't know, my wife and I, we are with a child.
Speaker: I wish there was a button I could clap or something.
Speaker: Like a... No, not a baby.
Speaker: No, not a baby.
Speaker: Kind of like a...
Speaker: Yes, we are with child.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: How many weeks are we?
Speaker: We are 22 weeks.
Speaker: And how many days?
Speaker: 22 weeks and four days.
Speaker: Yes, sir.
Speaker: 22 weeks and four days pregnant.
Speaker: And we are five months and we'll be six months in two weeks.
Speaker: Look at that.
Speaker: Am I right?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: That means I've been listening and paying attention.
Speaker: Yeah, I definitely need no.
Speaker: I need an applause button because I did good there.
Speaker: What's the milestone that the baby has reached this week?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: The last thing you showed me.
Speaker: Oh, I was thinking about something else.
Speaker: The last thing she showed me, she has this app, right, where we get to see the baby's progress and how big the baby is.
Speaker: And right now it's as big as a Game Boy.
Speaker: Am I correct?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Like, you know, the...
Speaker: Yeah, it's like the old Game Boy.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like the old Game Boy.
Speaker: It's like the Game Boy Color.
Speaker: That's how big it is.
Speaker: So it's pretty cool.
Speaker: It, he, it's my son.
Speaker: We're having a baby boy, Roman Roy Johnson.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But the biggest milestone is that the baby has been kicking a lot this week.
Speaker: Or is that not the milestone?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Oh, well, I failed.
Speaker: But yes, the baby's been kicking a lot this week.
Speaker: But go ahead.
Speaker: What's the biggest milestone this week?
Speaker: I mean, there's a few.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: The baby is growing eyebrows.
Speaker: Uh-oh.
Speaker: Which is cool.
Speaker: And the face features are starting to kind of come through to see who the baby's going to resemble.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Mix of us, one of us.
Speaker: Who do you think the baby's going to look like?
Speaker: Or who do you want our son to look like?
Speaker: I want our son to look like you.
Speaker: Why don't you want your son to look like you?
Speaker: You're beautiful.
Speaker: I do, but like, I want... Go ahead, sorry.
Speaker: I just want a little tray.
Speaker: A cute little tray.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And everybody, all the kids, and you are very cute.
Speaker: All the kids in my family, we all look the same because we have such...
Speaker: Yeah, you guys do have strong genes.
Speaker: So it would be nice to have a child that looks like my husband.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Well, I don't know.
Speaker: I think the baby's going to come out looking like a good mix of both of us.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I kind of do, too.
Speaker: Yeah, I think it'll come out looking like a good mix of both of us.
Speaker: I just don't know what that's going to look like.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's right.
Speaker: I mean, we're both cute.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I don't know what th is is going to look like, but we'll see.
Speaker: Maybe we'll have a baby that looks like me, and then the next one will look just like you.
Speaker: And for some reason, my husband thinks the baby's going to come out like chocolate or maybe like caramel.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I'm a black male, but the skin color is a little pale.
Speaker: So I'm excited.
Speaker: I'm excited to get some color in my family.
Speaker: The baby's not going to be like very...
Speaker: Why you got?
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: I feel like he's going to be in the middle.
Speaker: Well, that's good.
Speaker: Anything.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Anything is an upgrade.
Speaker: I just don't want your expectations to be.
Speaker: My son's about to be looking like my wife.
Speaker: He's not coming out looking like this.
Speaker: I earned this color from soccer, being in the sun.
Speaker: He's going to have a little bit of color.
Speaker: Like I said, anything's an upgrade.
Speaker: I love my skin color, though.
Speaker: I'm just saying.
Speaker: I love it, too.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: Oh, but yeah, I want the baby to come with a little bit of color, but we'll see.
Speaker: We'll see.
Speaker: We'll see.
Speaker: But yeah, five months pregnant.
Speaker: That's crazy.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Let's talk about the journey to get here.
Speaker: You know, I like to be transparent.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I like to be transparent.
Speaker: Did we get it on the first try?
Speaker: We didn't.
Speaker: We did not.
Speaker: We had a little one that reached two months last year.
Speaker: Two months.
Speaker: Yeah, we miscarried.
Speaker: And, you know, I always think of it as God's timing and what he wants for us.
Speaker: It was very hard, obviously, to go through a loss like that.
Speaker: But we're on the other side.
Speaker: Yeah, we are on the other side.
Speaker: We're having a little Roman.
Speaker: We are having a little Roman.
Speaker: Yeah, that was a tough time.
Speaker: And, you know, we were cautious about, you know, telling people this time around because we told people, like, really early.
Speaker: Yeah, just out of excitement, just so excited.
Speaker: Yeah, we wanted our families and things to be a part of it.
Speaker: We're usually supposed to wait, what, 13 weeks or something?
Speaker: Yeah, I would say towards the end of your first trimester or heading into your second.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So we waited this time and it was special.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Getting to keep the secret.
Speaker: Was it easy for you to keep the secret or was it hard for you?
Speaker: um from your family it was easy because i really wanted to experience the excitement from your mom and dad and your siblings and i just so i was like oh i don't have any issues like i don't want to tell my one i want to be there in person this time and i celebrate that um what about from your family um
Speaker: uh my siblings or with madison because you know i'm the closest madison was hard because yeah she told her and i saw the text message she tried to he said wait you you told your sister like what do you mean he's like i can see your phone like oh i'm gonna tell my brother right now but i told my sister out of um
Speaker: support just medically because she's in PA school and I was able to ask her some questions that I can't, you know, obviously ask my mom and I couldn't go ask my mother-in-law because I didn't want her to know yet.
Speaker: So that was my main reason for telling her not because I was like, oh, I'm just too excited.
Speaker: I can't contain it.
Speaker: It was more so I have questions.
Speaker: I'm worried.
Speaker: I, I, it didn't go well the first time.
Speaker: Um, I want to make sure that some of these things that are happening are normal and okay.
Speaker: And so, yeah, I had to tell her.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So when she told her, she basically told all of her other family as well.
Speaker: Slowly.
Speaker: It wasn't like boom, boom.
Speaker: It was like, okay.
Speaker: But all of her family knew and mine did not for the most part.
Speaker: But it's okay.
Speaker: That was exciting for you though, right?
Speaker: It was.
Speaker: It was so hard to keep that secret.
Speaker: I know Trey Trey struggles to keep secrets in that kind of no in that capacity like where you're like it truly is exciting for you yes it's hard for you to keep those kinds of secrets I can keep secrets like if somebody tell me something yes he's very yeah he's very loyal and respectful and he's gonna go yap in his mouth about like drama stuff but
Speaker: You know, big milestones in your life that you typically are going to tell your parents, your family.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Trace.
Speaker: Yeah, that was hard.
Speaker: That was that was hard.
Speaker: So we ended up telling my little sister because, you know, the first go around, she was talking about, you know.
Speaker: uh planning our gender reveal yeah planning the gender reveal um so we we wanted to make sure that you know now that we were kind of getting to the point where you for sure this is going to happen and she was able to do that so um we were able to get the results sent to her and uh she kept that secret she kept the secret she did good did she she did how long did she keep the secret for i would say like three three months no three months she kept it three or three to four weeks oh she did
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Or I don't know where my time is going.
Speaker: Three to four weeks is a long time.
Speaker: And how we planned it was that since we were going home.
Speaker: So both of our families live out in California.
Speaker: So how we planned it was that we're going to go out to California and basically, you know, surprise them.
Speaker: um it was my my birthday was going to be the next day you know we had my uh my dad and my brother's birthday is the day after christmas we have christmas we're going to vegas your family from dc all my family from dc houston is coming so it's gonna be this big thing right um and we went out to california in the night i was like we gotta start it off right as soon as we get in we gotta tell my parents they tell them immediately so um
Speaker: I walked in first through the garage and I came in and then I was like, what did I say?
Speaker: I was like, the only way that we can start this holiday off right.
Speaker: I said something like that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I was like, there's only one way we can start this holiday off right.
Speaker: And then Amira has the video.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then in came me and little Roman.
Speaker: And Megan had the- Little pictures inside my jacket and I showed it.
Speaker: And then, yeah, my parents were in tears and it was just a happy- It was a happy- I've been in shock.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But then the next day was where really like... I had... But I remember everyone was convinced that we were having a girl.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: So, let me put the picture for you, right?
Speaker: So, the next day is my birthday.
Speaker: And I'm like, for my birthday, we're going to find out the gender.
Speaker: So, up to this point, we don't know the gender.
Speaker: So, I said, you know, we're going to give it to Amira.
Speaker: Amira's going to plan everything.
Speaker: And we'll find out the gender on my birthday.
Speaker: So, Amira did a great job planning the gender reveal.
Speaker: But like Megan was saying, I could have sworn up until that, up until the confetti came out of the cannon, that it was going to be a girl.
Speaker: I was preparing myself to be a girl dad.
Speaker: You thought it was going to be a girl as well, right?
Speaker: Yes, I did.
Speaker: But I also had a dream earlier in my pregnancy.
Speaker: I think the first trimester, like right after we did the blood work for the gender that...
Speaker: um i was holding a baby girl but there's a little boy that was like one or two and he was helping me with the little baby girl and i was like we're having a girl and i had another dream i was a little girl um but that night after we shared the news with his family i had a dream that we were it was our gender reveal and our families busted the confetti cannons and blue came out and we had a boy and i was like and i was just so excited and so i woke up like oh
Speaker: Oh my God, we're having a boy.
Speaker: And I was like, wait, no, that was a dream.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Darn.
Speaker: And then the next day, we're going to have to play the videos on here too.
Speaker: But the next day, we had a boy.
Speaker: The boy.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: The confetti came out and it was blue and I was in shock.
Speaker: Maggie was like, it's a boy.
Speaker: I was like, I can't believe it.
Speaker: Shaking him.
Speaker: Hello.
Speaker: I was like, whoa.
Speaker: And then my parents thought it was going to be a girl too.
Speaker: My parents thought it was going to be a girl.
Speaker: Dad especially.
Speaker: He was sure.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And Amira, I don't know, my little sister, I don't know how she kept that.
Speaker: Like, she kept a straight face, like, for those couple of days.
Speaker: Because her face is so straight, and she's, like, so good at keeping.
Speaker: I was like, oh, she knows.
Speaker: Yeah, she knows.
Speaker: And she's born in June, so she's probably like, yeah, I get a little bestie, niece.
Speaker: That's going to be born in my month.
Speaker: But she got us.
Speaker: And then my little brother, man, he's funny, man.
Speaker: He goes, he's going to the league.
Speaker: He's going to the league.
Speaker: And then my grandfather, Pop-Pop, he was like, yeah, that's QB1 right there.
Speaker: QB1, Roman Roy.
Speaker: I don't know about that, Pop-Pop.
Speaker: You don't want to play soccer?
Speaker: I mean, not soccer football.
Speaker: If he wants to, yeah, but as a mother, obviously, inside, I'm thinking, please, no.
Speaker: Please, no.
Speaker: What sports do we want to play?
Speaker: Do we want to encourage for him to try?
Speaker: Because I'm not going to make him, but I'm going to obviously put him in the sport and see how he takes to it.
Speaker: Yeah, I'll let him pick.
Speaker: I'm a basketball player.
Speaker: My wife's a soccer player.
Speaker: She played at a collegiate level, so she's high level.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: So, I mean, we'll see.
Speaker: I come from like a football family, if you will.
Speaker: You know, so.
Speaker: He might not even want to play sports.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: He might want to be on a debate team or something else.
Speaker: And we're going to support him no matter what.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I look forward to that, seeing what types of things he likes and he's interested in and really wants to learn about.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Now, has it set in yet for you?
Speaker: Like, we're actually, well, I know you feel it every day, right?
Speaker: Yes, but like it has actually settled in, like the reality of like, once that baby comes out and I'm holding him and like the excitement of that and then the sleepless nights and us working together, but also not knowing like, yeah, I've nannied and stuff like that, but this is our
Speaker: Our son, you know, and it's like him growing up and like us putting him in school, him going into activities, us playing, you know, our parenting roles and things like that.
Speaker: I'm like, wow, this is.
Speaker: really we're going to be responsible for somebody and I was my supervisor was telling me today because we're five days apart actually and our due dates and it's her second child and she's like it's surreal it's so surreal I'm like I know honestly it's been setting in for me so to hear you say that I'm like yeah I believe you yeah I don't know if it's necessarily um settled in for me yet I don't think it has
Speaker: Like I talked to I talked to Roman and I, you know, try to talk to him and pray over him and read to him and things like that.
Speaker: But like, I think it'll really set in like once he's delivered and I get to hold him.
Speaker: I think right now it's just like I know that it's coming.
Speaker: So I'm trying to prepare in a lot of different ways.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Financially, make sure we have the space and things like that.
Speaker: So that's more so where my mind has been at.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's understandable.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I feel like as a, because I can't feel the baby inside of me necessarily.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You're thinking of like, you know, all the logistics of how are we going to provide, how are we, how is it, you know, the day to day going to look like and are we going to be prepared and yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I don't think you'll ever be like,
Speaker: I don't think we'll ever, you can ever be 100% ready.
Speaker: No, that's what, that's what's really, you know, a relief for me.
Speaker: You know, you hear it all the time and you see it.
Speaker: Um, is that I know that it's not going to be perfect.
Speaker: And I know that we're going to run into moments where we just don't know.
Speaker: I mean, in our marriage so far, we've run into moments where you just don't know.
Speaker: And it's definitely going to be that times 10 with a kid.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Dang.
Speaker: You might be sitting in right now on the podcast.
Speaker: Don't spiral.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: I'm sitting here going through like, oh, my God.
Speaker: We got to get a kid to school.
Speaker: Five years.
Speaker: Four years.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: Sorry, guys.
Speaker: I got to take a mental break right now.
Speaker: No, but I'm excited.
Speaker: I'm excited and I'm really excited.
Speaker: I am.
Speaker: I'm really excited to be a dad and I'm preparing.
Speaker: And I think the biggest thing is that, you know, I feel like we've had some good examples.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So even though we're not.
Speaker: We're not going to know exactly what to do when stuff arises.
Speaker: We can always go back to those things and say, you know, parenting from our parents and say, oh.
Speaker: But even within that, that's the beauty of us becoming parents and a couple is we get to collab together.
Speaker: That's true.
Speaker: What do we want to do in this moment?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because there's definitely some, I'm definitely going to take a lot of things from my parents.
Speaker: But there's some things that I'm going to be like, you know, probably not.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So we got to introduce you guys to our daughter, too.
Speaker: If you guys didn't know we have a daughter, we're going to introduce you to her.
Speaker: Daddy's girl.
Speaker: This is daddy's girl.
Speaker: Because she came out of her cage.
Speaker: She came out of her cage.
Speaker: Because she's excited.
Speaker: Say hi.
Speaker: Say hi.
Speaker: Say hi, Nova.
Speaker: This is Nova.
Speaker: Say something into the mic.
Speaker: This is Nova.
Speaker: This is Nova Johnson.
Speaker: This is our dog.
Speaker: What is she?
Speaker: What is her breed, wife of mine?
Speaker: A mini Aussie poo.
Speaker: A miniature Aussie poo.
Speaker: And we love her.
Speaker: We don't like her sometimes.
Speaker: I'm not going to say hate.
Speaker: He's really talking about me.
Speaker: She is a year.
Speaker: Oh, she's not a year old yet.
Speaker: She's about to be a year in April.
Speaker: Talk about a pre-test to being parents.
Speaker: This girl has tried my every last nerve.
Speaker: You want to talk about that for a second?
Speaker: I feel like, hey, listen, if you want to have a kid, if you and your significant other have a kid, I would suggest that you get a dog first.
Speaker: From Petland?
Speaker: No, I'm not saying from Petland.
Speaker: Just a dog from anywhere.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And, you know, see how it goes.
Speaker: A puppy, yeah.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Talk about your trying times with our daughter here.
Speaker: Nova, go.
Speaker: Go to your bed.
Speaker: Well, you have to think about it.
Speaker: You know, the first month I was like, okay, she's a puppy.
Speaker: So the mistakes that she's making, they're obvious.
Speaker: But then as I got pregnant and further along in my pregnancy, my patience has just become non-existent.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Only because there's been reoccurring behaviors over and over again.
Speaker: Not even due to our efforts.
Speaker: We take her out.
Speaker: We beat her.
Speaker: honestly i think sometimes she gets a little bit frustrated because we live uh in a three so we live on the third floor of our apartment the top floor there's no elevator or anything so when she has to go out you know we gotta go down three flights of stairs and i think as she she's gotten a lot better now but when she was younger she was like nah
Speaker: I'm doing it right here.
Speaker: I'm not going on the stair, on the stairwell, on the stairwell, right outside the door.
Speaker: If I got to go, I got to go.
Speaker: But she's doing, she's doing a lot better.
Speaker: And yeah, I won't even talk about the amount of time she's peeing in our bed.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: because that's just a that's just a personality thing for me is like i really value like my sacred space which is like our apartment my bed our bathtub like those are my those are my places when i'm relaxing so to have a dog come in and destroy it multiple times i'm like i don't have nothing sacred left
Speaker: I ain't got nothing to say to that.
Speaker: This girl invaded all my spaces.
Speaker: But it's teaching me a lot.
Speaker: It is.
Speaker: It's teaching me a lot as well.
Speaker: A lot about myself I never knew about how to love somebody else that I have to take care of.
Speaker: Other than your significant other.
Speaker: Having somebody or a dog,
Speaker: um or a baby that you have to take care of it puts you in a different mindset yeah because this they that's a dog like because you know people have been saying since we got a dog it's like having a child except you can't put a kid in a cage and i'm like yes i agree with that but i still cannot get down with the comparison but i can say there are some there are there are like consistency
Speaker: kids need consistency they do and dogs do too if the dog is going to the bathroom at six some days and at eight some days the dog's gonna obviously get anxious and be like i don't know when i'm going out so maybe i'll just go right now right you know and so i can i can see the similarities in that and so yeah
Speaker: It's teaching me we do need to be consistent.
Speaker: What we do and how we manage our time and how we give our attention and manage, you know, time to give attention to the dog is important because that's when we have a kid.
Speaker: They're going to they're coming first.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, that schedule.
Speaker: I think that schedule thing is a big piece of it because.
Speaker: know going we we've kind of linked uh become a little lean on the schedule as we you know as she's gotten older and things like that and that she's able to hold yeah yeah stretching the hours yeah right right is she able to not use the bathroom in the house and things like that but when we first got it got her you know every four hours on the dot we were taking her out even if it was the middle of the night
Speaker: I remember, you know, we had to go.
Speaker: We couldn't stay out for longer than four or five hours.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: We learned our lesson a few times.
Speaker: Came home to some big surprises all over the cage.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And she was drenched in it.
Speaker: So that wasn't fun.
Speaker: That wasn't fun at all.
Speaker: But I'm loving being a dad all the way around.
Speaker: I'm loving being a dog dad, and I'm excited to be a father.
Speaker: To our beautiful baby boy coming June 12th.
Speaker: He might come earlier.
Speaker: He might come later.
Speaker: We're hoping he comes in June.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: Because of that lion.
Speaker: I don't know about these zodiac signs and stuff, but my wife told me it's the lion month or something.
Speaker: Is that right?
Speaker: Yeah, I think something with like Gemini's and lions represent like with lions, they're coincide or something like that.
Speaker: And I didn't really know that till recently.
Speaker: Because I, I don't know, I just started thinking about when we named him and then like
Speaker: how I view him and think of him.
Speaker: And I'm like, he's a lion.
Speaker: He's strong.
Speaker: We did a video to reveal on Instagram and in the song, it said young angel and the young lion.
Speaker: And then I had the chain is a lion chain.
Speaker: I have a lion tatted on me.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: So it's like, I knew, I knew my son was coming in June before I knew my son was coming in June.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: and roman means strong strong and powerful yeah like a lion you know i'm saying he's a king king of the jungle you know i'm saying um back on to that right so we said the baby's kicking right the baby's kicking a lot last night we've been watching a show and i love this show shout out to shonda rhymes i'm not really a big graze anatomy fan but i'm a big fan because he hasn't watched it yet
Speaker: I'm not going to watch it because we're not talking about that.
Speaker: Adura, you guys know Adura.
Speaker: He loves that Grey's Anatomy.
Speaker: I'll let him talk about that.
Speaker: But Station 19, that's my stuff right there.
Speaker: Trey loves it.
Speaker: We're going to watch it after we finish this podcast too.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: But yeah, now Station 19 is my stuff.
Speaker: I love Station 19.
Speaker: And every time we watch Station 19, he gets to kicking up a storm.
Speaker: Yeah, maybe he's going to be a firefighter.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: Ooh, maybe.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I can see that.
Speaker: I don't know, but he likes it.
Speaker: He does.
Speaker: He likes Station 19.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So but what are some other symptoms?
Speaker: I guess kicking is not necessarily a symptom, right?
Speaker: It's kind of a reaction.
Speaker: But what are some symptoms that you're feeling?
Speaker: I would say like from the beginning, I did experience all day sickness.
Speaker: We're not going to say morning because it was all day.
Speaker: It was any point in the day and the night.
Speaker: I haven't had any crazy cravings.
Speaker: People have asked me that recently.
Speaker: And I was like, honestly, I haven't.
Speaker: And I know what they mean is like combinations of things.
Speaker: Like someone would be like, I want some ice cream and I want some olives on top.
Speaker: Excuse me?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I've heard a woman talk about like loving that during her pregnancy.
Speaker: That ain't it.
Speaker: So meaty, salty, carvy.
Speaker: And I'm more of like a balance.
Speaker: I'm good with the balance.
Speaker: I'm very health conscious and like, okay, I just had a burger, some fries,
Speaker: and maybe something else salty that day.
Speaker: Okay, I need a veggie.
Speaker: I need a smoothie.
Speaker: I need to find out how to get some flax seeds in my diet today.
Speaker: And I'm still interested in that, but I'm not pushing.
Speaker: I have to really push myself to intake those things because it's not your fault, babe.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: We do need to do a little bit better, change up the diet a little bit.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm not as bad as Trey because I know that I have a child and I know I want my child to taste carrots and cucumbers and veggies.
Speaker: So I do force myself to eat those things.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But... I don't know about you, but...
Speaker: It happens.
Speaker: It happens.
Speaker: A guy was talking about it.
Speaker: I can't remember the word he used.
Speaker: and I'm not going to just throw one out there, but he was talking about a specific term or just chemical reaction in dads as their wives are pregnant that they start to store fat because their bodies are preparing.
Speaker: They know that they're going to be having sleepless long nights, so their bodies are storing this fat to prepare them to survive that.
Speaker: So I got this dad bar going on?
Speaker: What you saying?
Speaker: No, you look good, babe.
Speaker: Oh, I appreciate that.
Speaker: I appreciate that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I think for me, right, I ain't been feeling the sickness or nothing, right?
Speaker: But I definitely felt I'd be getting the cravings, you know what I'm saying, for food.
Speaker: I'd be hungry.
Speaker: I don't know if that's a pregnancy thing.
Speaker: I mean, yeah, we get hungry.
Speaker: We have to increase our calories at some point to where we're just hungry.
Speaker: That's true.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But, yeah, and then I definitely feel like the tired and fatigue as well sometimes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm pregnant too.
Speaker: Get you a pregnancy pillow, honey.
Speaker: I'm pregnant too.
Speaker: That pregnancy pillow does.
Speaker: I slept with it one night.
Speaker: I didn't like it in the beginning.
Speaker: My body wasn't even needing it yet.
Speaker: Trey was doing naps.
Speaker: Nighttime.
Speaker: I'm in there with that thing.
Speaker: Wrapped around my neck.
Speaker: I need it.
Speaker: TV on.
Speaker: Station 19.
Speaker: Pregnancy pillow?
Speaker: Somebody turn me up.
Speaker: And I'm a sweets person.
Speaker: I've always had a sweet tooth.
Speaker: I have not had a sweet tooth ever.
Speaker: I'll have a dessert every now and then during this pregnancy, but I won't even finish it.
Speaker: That is true.
Speaker: You haven't been craving sweets like that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She usually is always like, let's go get ice cream.
Speaker: Let's go get cheesecake.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: I want to make some brownies.
Speaker: Hey, she makes these chocolate.
Speaker: Hey, God bless you.
Speaker: She makes these chocolate truffles.
Speaker: The Oreo chocolate truffles.
Speaker: Oh, Oreo truffles.
Speaker: I swear to you, it's my favorite dessert in the world.
Speaker: And I hope that she gets the pregnancy craving for that joint again.
Speaker: Cause I need that in my life.
Speaker: I'll make them for you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I might need them joints tonight.
Speaker: Stop playing with me, boy.
Speaker: With that station 19.
Speaker: Well, we kind of talked about this a little bit already, but what type of parents do we want to be?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Because we talked about this as far as like our kids and what they want to do.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Do they want to play sports?
Speaker: If they don't, you know, what are they going to do?
Speaker: Are we going to force them to do something or not?
Speaker: But outside of that, obviously, we already kind of talked about that, right?
Speaker: We're not going to force our kids to do something they don't want to do.
Speaker: We're not going to live through our kids.
Speaker: We're going to let them choose, and we're going to support them no matter what.
Speaker: But what type of parents do we want to be?
Speaker: Well, I'll start with the whole sports and activities thing.
Speaker: If our kid does start something and starts to realize that he doesn't like it, I think it's important that he finishes it.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I agree with that.
Speaker: Yeah, because especially if it's because he's feeling like he's failing, I'm not going to interrupt that failure.
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: He still needs to experience it and finish it.
Speaker: I think that's a good life lesson, too, outside of sports, right?
Speaker: Like, finish what you start.
Speaker: I feel like I've just being transparent here.
Speaker: I feel like I've come to points in my life, you know, whether it was sports or whether just in life in general to where,
Speaker: I didn't necessarily finish what I started and I felt like I gave up maybe a little bit too early.
Speaker: And, you know, for whatever reason, things didn't work out or whatnot.
Speaker: But I want I want my son to do the opposite.
Speaker: Like.
Speaker: Because I feel like we all have like a pain threshold.
Speaker: And when we get to that pain threshold, sometimes you got two options.
Speaker: You can either stop at that threshold and kind of go back or you can push past that that pain threshold.
Speaker: And I want to teach my son to do that.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: So I like that.
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: Our son.
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: Yeah, I love that because there's times where I remember around the elementary age of starting to play club soccer and my mom, you know, encouraging me to, I think I had always started.
Speaker: I started every game, played every minute and some random weekend at a tournament, my coach like pulled me out twice, two different games and
Speaker: And I was distraught.
Speaker: And my mom was like, you know, don't cry.
Speaker: Like, you can be upset, but, like, you need to go talk to your coach.
Speaker: Ask him why.
Speaker: Find out.
Speaker: And I was like, okay, like, can you come with me to do it?
Speaker: Can you talk to me?
Speaker: She's like, no.
Speaker: You go talk to him.
Speaker: And I was like, whoa, taking responsibility and, you know, just voicing that I didn't understand why I was being taken out and what could I do to get more time and to play.
Speaker: And I don't know, it was a big learning lesson for me.
Speaker: It really impacted me.
Speaker: And I mean, I remember it like it was yesterday.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It pushed you just to be at a young age, right?
Speaker: It pushed you to just be better and, right, like you were kind of saying, like solve problems for yourself and not necessarily relying on your parents to do it, you know, allowing them to guide you, right, into making the right decisions.
Speaker: But at the end of the day, you know, as you get older, you're going to have to start making these decisions for yourself and speak up for yourself.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: It's definitely something that we got to impart in Roman for sure.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I want us to be that tool for him.
Speaker: You know, he can come talk to us about what happened and we can talk him through it and encourage him.
Speaker: But then to kind of push him out there.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Go figure out what you want to do about it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And kind of going back to like finishing what you started.
Speaker: So I remember I was.
Speaker: in the spelling bee in the seventh grade and i was a really good speller and i made it all the way to um the spelling bee that was right before the scripts national uh spelling beyond espn so i made it to the one that was on nbc um and i lost to the word and i listen i put i put a lot of work in and i've never had a problem putting in the work i can say that
Speaker: oh yeah yeah i know that about you i've never had a problem putting in the work right um put a lot of work then learned a lot of words that i still know to this day it's helped me you know spell things that you know a lot of people can't spell whatnot right um but i got pretty far in this in the the one in nbc to where i was in i came in seventh place right now and i lost to the word sevruga which is um a russian caviar and i think i've talked about it on the podcast already
Speaker: But nonetheless, right?
Speaker: Everybody was expecting me, like the coach that I had, the school that I went to, my parents.
Speaker: There was a lot of people that were behind me that were expecting me to come back the next year.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And, you know, give it.
Speaker: Like so.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And like do it again.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But like after I lost to the word Sevruga and I got off stage and I was bawling, crying.
Speaker: And there was like a lady on the side to where like she would give you a hug and you would cry.
Speaker: Like they had a lady there for that.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And but I was like, I don't I didn't like feeling that pain.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: So like the the next the next year.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: You start from the from like the in-class spelling bee.
Speaker: Then you go to the school.
Speaker: Then you go to district in the city.
Speaker: And then so I got so it came around again and it was like the in-class spelling bee.
Speaker: right and she gave me some i forget what the word was it was an easy word and i you know i spelled the wrong uh i spelled the word wrong on purpose um and it was something easy and when i spelled it wrong she was like are you sure she's like are you sure you don't want another word i was like nah i'm good like everybody expected me to to do it again yeah and i i just did i didn't want to go
Speaker: through that pain, like we were talking about, right?
Speaker: I reached my pain threshold, and at that age, I didn't know what it looked like to push past those things.
Speaker: I mean, and I want to ask, did you, was there any embarrassment that you felt aside from the pain, or was it just like a pain?
Speaker: I don't know if I'm embarrassed that I lost the first time.
Speaker: No, I didn't feel any embarrassment.
Speaker: I just felt... Like pain, like a disappointment?
Speaker: What do you mean by pain?
Speaker: I put in a lot of work for it not to work out type of pain.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like a big disappointment for me.
Speaker: And it hurt that I put in so much work and I couldn't make it.
Speaker: And the result wasn't.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Even though seventh place amongst a bunch of great, you know, intellects and things like that is pretty good.
Speaker: But, you know, I just, it just hurt.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: I don't want to feel hurt again.
Speaker: I don't want to feel hurt like that again.
Speaker: And my parents were so upset because like that stuff leads to like scholarship money, like tuition for college paid for, like all this stuff.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like full rides.
Speaker: It leads to a lot of things.
Speaker: And I just kind of threw it away.
Speaker: I threw it away.
Speaker: And it was all because of I didn't know how to deal with that emotion of feeling hurt.
Speaker: So and that's kind of like I mean, failure in a way.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Like, yeah.
Speaker: But like I've I felt like do a lot of different points in my lifetime.
Speaker: I've seen that kind of play out a couple of times.
Speaker: I've seen I've seen that kind of play out a couple of times and I've started to notice it as I've gotten into my adult years like after college well like a little bit when I was in college but really after college I started to notice it but I want my son to get it early.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: I want our son to get it early and say, you know what?
Speaker: I might be scared.
Speaker: I might be afraid.
Speaker: I might be hurt.
Speaker: I might be whatever, but I'm not going to let anything stop me from reaching my goals.
Speaker: And I'm going to push past it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And that comes from.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Learn from my mistakes Roman Learn from my mistakes And you know I love this platform because We're able to be transparent But one day Roman's gonna be able to watch these episodes You know what I'm saying This is I've always talked about like And you know I've talked to my parents And excuse me
Speaker: you know, some close individuals around me, just my circle about just leaving a legacy.
Speaker: And this is what we're doing here.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: We're leaving a legacy.
Speaker: We're talking about important things and just leaving a legacy that's going to impact, you know, generations and generations and generations to come.
Speaker: So,
Speaker: I just had to say that right quick because as I'm sitting here talking about this, I'm like, dang, our son is going to see this one day and be like, dang.
Speaker: You were talking about me.
Speaker: Yeah, mom and dad were talking about me before I was even born.
Speaker: They were strategic about how they wanted to parent me.
Speaker: We want to do a good job.
Speaker: Yeah, we do.
Speaker: We do.
Speaker: And hopefully, you know, when you get old enough and you're able to watch it, that you can say, you know, mom and dad did the best that they could for me and did a good job.
Speaker: So, dang, we're about to be parents.
Speaker: It's crazy.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Anything else that, I mean, we're going to continue to have these episodes with me and my wife.
Speaker: And maybe we'll even have some other couples on here and kind of talk to them and maybe pour into some other people.
Speaker: Yeah, I'd love that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And maybe get an older couple on here, too, and maybe they can pour into us.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: What if we got, like, my parents or something?
Speaker: That'd be cool.
Speaker: That'd be great.
Speaker: And they could give us some advice.
Speaker: Maybe.
Speaker: But is there anything else before we kind of move on to the next topic?
Speaker: Anything else that we want to give to our child or, you know, what are some other things as far as parenting?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: What type of parents are we going to be?
Speaker: I even think about how we're going to spend time as a family, like what quality time looks like for us.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, are we going to have Friday traditions?
Speaker: Are we going to have Monday through Sunday?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, routine of after school and eating dinner together and things like that.
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: You know, like what's that going to look like first and what do we want it to look like?
Speaker: Because it can always, you know, escape us and we never really come to something.
Speaker: But I don't know.
Speaker: I like the idea of.
Speaker: in the evening, cooking dinner, and us sitting down and enjoying it together.
Speaker: Because we could easily... We did that in my family.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think we did, too.
Speaker: I know during the week, it was a little harder, you know.
Speaker: Yeah, it wasn't all the time.
Speaker: I'm sure we did it, too, with sports.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But, um...
Speaker: Just this generation, it's different.
Speaker: You make the dinner, you take your plate, kids go to their room, they go to the couch.
Speaker: I want to sit down at a table, have fun conversations as a family and knowing what each other are doing in life and how we are and connecting like that.
Speaker: Yeah, I think quality time is the biggest thing.
Speaker: And I've heard my dad say this.
Speaker: I always seem to talk about my dad.
Speaker: He's imparted a lot of lessons on me.
Speaker: So the biggest thing that kids remember is not necessarily they're not going to remember everything that you say to them or all the things that you teach them.
Speaker: You know, it'll it'll come to a point to where they might be in a situation and, you know, they're like, oh, dang, my dad was telling me if I ever get into the situation, this happened.
Speaker: right yeah but the the biggest thing that they're going to remember is that if you were there or not yeah i'm saying that's the biggest thing i remember is if you were there is is it you were at work all the time and not spending time and i can i can attest right yeah to that statement from your dad especially now with my mom gone it it has caused me to reflect more on how i grew up and how my parents raised us and
Speaker: just how present either one of them were.
Speaker: And it's a touchy topic.
Speaker: And it has definitely resonated with me being more aware and paying attention to the things that we do now in our habits that I don't want us to fall into once we have kids.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Yeah, I think that that quality time piece is going to be important.
Speaker: And I think that's the biggest thing that I just want to be present.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: I'm not going to know what to do in every situation, but I'm going to be present and be there and be support every basketball game.
Speaker: Well, I said basketball, whatever he does.
Speaker: Hey, listen, every sporting event, every whatever event, every school event, whatever he wants to do.
Speaker: And, you know, as we have more kids, figuring out how to – you go to this one, I go to this one, we switch weeks and stuff.
Speaker: And, yeah, how to manage that.
Speaker: But also outside of, like, just doing stuff together.
Speaker: Like, I want that to be –
Speaker: Not even like tradition, like even, you know, every week we do something different, you know, every week we find something that we can all do together because those are the moments that that our child is going to remember.
Speaker: Those are the bigger ones.
Speaker: Like, dang, dad, mom and dad took me to the park or mom and dad took me to the movies and and then we got food and we got, you know, like stuff like that, you know.
Speaker: I know those are my favorite memories.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: So outside of like, you know, them coming to events and things like that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I, as you were saying that, I was thinking about how we are going to handle our conflict with having kids because that was a huge thing for me growing up and how my parents or specifically one parent handled conflict in the
Speaker: regards to us, like involving us.
Speaker: And obviously Roman's gonna know that we have disagreements, but I don't, I mean, you can tell me what you think.
Speaker: I don't know if it's necessary or appropriate for him to know the full context.
Speaker: I don't think so.
Speaker: And I think that we don't have to leave it, you know, a mystery.
Speaker: We can always say, you know, I know you saw that we had a disagreement and kind of talking through, but I don't think it's necessary to give him the full context of what the disagreement was.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think to a certain extent,
Speaker: Obviously, we don't want to shelter our kids in any way necessarily, right?
Speaker: But there's certain things that they don't need to know or be exposed to until they're of age to be exposed to those things.
Speaker: And I say that because I saw how it created alliances in my home.
Speaker: And there should never be an alliance created because of a parent and encouraging it or allowing it.
Speaker: And, you know, I don't want Roman to be like, ah, I like dad more, mom's more strict.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And, you know, you're kind of like, I mean, yeah, but still be nice to your mother.
Speaker: Yeah, I think there are going to be some things that obviously we want our, I want to be, I want our kids to be open with us, not in a best friend type of way.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: because there's always going to be consequences for your actions right but in a way that says i know that if i go to my my parents for this they're not going to judge me or condemn me they're going to be able to talk to me about this and then we can figure out a solution and i so there's there's going to be some stuff that maybe you know our son feels more comfortable talking to you about that he doesn't want to talk to me about and vice versa and things like that um so
Speaker: But as long as we keep those lines of communication open, right?
Speaker: But going back to, I agree, we don't want to expose them to our, they don't need to know the details about it.
Speaker: They just need to be loved and cared for.
Speaker: And as they get older, we can start.
Speaker: And it's the same thing that, like, my parents kind of did with me.
Speaker: As we got older, you know, they started to let me in on more and more stuff because my mind, and they saw that I was mature enough.
Speaker: My mind had mature enough to handle, you know, certain things, right?
Speaker: And as I graduated college, as I got married, they start telling me more stuff about, you know, even their own marriage and things that they struggle with.
Speaker: But as a kid, you don't necessarily need to.
Speaker: I don't.
Speaker: Roman doesn't need to know all that.
Speaker: It's a term.
Speaker: Yeah, but once he gets older and he's old enough and he's starting to go through some of those things, then we'll be able to shed some light on it.
Speaker: And don't get me wrong, he's obviously going to know which parent is which when it comes to the roles and the personality and things like that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I just don't want that to be taken into where it's affecting my relationship with our kid because he's knowing too much.
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: And then, you know, he's a kid.
Speaker: He's going to create an assumption of what he sees and not what he entirely knows.
Speaker: And so just protecting our kids from things like that.
Speaker: We're definitely going to create that boundary.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And always making sure we're a team.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Even if we're, you know, not happy with each other, but making sure that our kid still is in that place of respecting us.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Kid comes first.
Speaker: Always.
Speaker: I love my wife, y'all.
Speaker: I love you too.
Speaker: I love my wife and so grateful for her.
Speaker: And I thank her all the time for carrying our child.
Speaker: Thank you again.
Speaker: I said on this podcast, thank you for carrying our child.
Speaker: It means a lot to me.
Speaker: I know it's not, it's not easy and I know the symptoms and things like that, but thank you for carrying our child.
Speaker: Thank you for the gifts of your seed.
Speaker: I said that in a song.
Speaker: He did.
Speaker: What'd I say?
Speaker: Dang.
Speaker: And when it's said and done.
Speaker: Yeah, when it's said and done, you had a gift of my seed.
Speaker: I'm going to keep the faith and the strength to believe because you always knew I had the strength to succeed.
Speaker: Yes, sir, boy.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Bars, boy.
Speaker: Stop playing with me.
Speaker: Stop playing with me.
Speaker: Well, listen, I don't know if we can cover all this stuff.
Speaker: We got a lot.
Speaker: I think we covered a lot today.
Speaker: And I think that we can continue.
Speaker: I want to continue on.
Speaker: Listen, I want to have her back on the podcast.
Speaker: I want to make this a regular thing.
Speaker: So if you would be so kind, dear wife of mine, to grace us with your presence on a weekly basis, we would love to have you.
Speaker: a weekly weekly of course yeah we're still gonna do the we're still gonna this is not a this is just something additional i feel like we needed to add to tos to the other side to the podcast um you know we still got that thing going you know getting all the bro talk out with with my boys uh a new and adora and that's been going well but i think this adds a different dimension yeah we get to see another glimpse of your life
Speaker: not even just my life like i think we can listen my my life is just a way um to to tell my story and to speak in other people's lives right um i'm only talking about we're only talking about the things that we've been through um so i'm not trying to tell nobody else's story uh but i want i want to empower the other people
Speaker: that are on this platform as well to tell theirs and their stories need to be heard too.
Speaker: So thank you for gracing us with your presence.
Speaker: Thank you for having me.
Speaker: And we're going to continue this because I'm enjoying myself.
Speaker: And if I could keep going, I would, but it looks like we're out of time, but listen, make sure you guys follow us.
Speaker: Follow me on Instagram at D Greg Trey.
Speaker: What is your Instagram handle?
Speaker: Tell the people.
Speaker: Megan A.M.
Speaker: Johnson.
Speaker: Are you sure?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Say it one more time for the people.
Speaker: Megan, M-E-G-A-N, A-M Johnson.
Speaker: There you go.
Speaker: There you go.
Speaker: Make sure to follow her.
Speaker: I'm starting to get on TikTok and YouTube shorts now, posting reels and shorts and TikToks, and it's all new to me.
Speaker: So I'll put that stuff in the description.
Speaker: Make sure you follow that.
Speaker: And also make sure to keep up with all things TOS, man.
Speaker: We got music.
Speaker: We got podcasts.
Speaker: We got other videos and other content.
Speaker: You know, we're doing this thing big this year.
Speaker: And we're excited to add a new addition to the Other Side family and Roman Roy Johnson.
Speaker: We love you guys.
Speaker: Peace.
