Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to the DIY Goalie Podcast where hosts and goalie coaches Nathan Park and Connor Munday share their insights on how to become a better goalie.
Speaker: Goalies, how are we doing? Welcome back to another episode of the DIY Goalie Podcast presented by True North Goaltending. Hopefully you guys are all doing good today. it's just me in the captain's chair today. um It's been a busy last couple of weeks. We have a couple birthdays in our family and, you know, Connor's had a few sessions. I've had a few sessions. So things didn't line up this week, but it's okay. We'll ah we'll get through a good episode today. I actually am
Speaker: and we don't do this very often. i know we did it not that long ago. But every now and then there's there's a topic that we cover in our monthly newsletter, that is kind of one of those things that becomes something that I think needs to kind of be hammered home a little bit more things that maybe we don't talk enough about or you know isn't really talked about as much as it should be. Just just kind of stuff like that. um
Speaker: So what we are going to talk about today is loneliness in goaltending. um Everyone who's involved with the position knows exactly what I'm talking about.
Speaker: um it's It's one of those things that we have a position that fosters a lot of, I guess, kind of negative um emotions and it's it's very tough to navigate. and can really feel like you're, you're kind of sitting on an Island there.
Speaker: Um, especially for the goalies that are maybe the only goalie on their team, as opposed to kind of dealing with a tandem situation. Um, but even in a tandem situation, sometimes depending on the dynamic, um,
Speaker: Even though you do have somebody else on the team that is in the same position as you, it can still be incredibly lonely. And that's something that that can obviously contribute to a lot of kind of you know mental health issues, you know some depression, kind of some anxiety, stuff like that. um And I don't think it's something that really gets talked about enough when it comes to the position of goaltending. Just because it's, I don't know, just it kind of stems from the overall, I guess,
Speaker: you know view that we have as society in general and even more so in the hockey world when it comes to you know kind of emotions and and mental health and kind of stuff like that um it's one of those things that it's getting better the culture is changing but there is still kind of that thought of well, I just got to tough it out. I just got to get through it. I just got figure it out. um Because, you know, ah we still kind of have that mentality of, you know, if I reach out, it kind of shows weakness or or whatever the case is. Right. And I want to start today off by just
Speaker: kind of putting it out there, that's that's not the case. um There are plenty of people out there that want to help. If you do find yourself in a situation where your you know mental health is not in a good spot, um especially, you know like I said before, like as a goalie,
Speaker: It very much a lot of times throughout your career and throughout the process can really feel like you're just on your own and you don't have a lot of support and you don't have a lot of.
Speaker: um ah help or a lot of like areas to turn to. um and And just like we've talked about lots on this podcast, that the system in general just really does not support goalies very well.
Speaker: And that kind of that kind of helps this sort of loneliness kind of compound. um So before we kind of dive into some of the things that we can do to help,
Speaker: um There's a couple things that I kind of want to go through that um contribute to the loneliness feeling when it comes to goalies. um One of them and kind of one of the obvious ones, I guess, is is the physical loneliness that comes from from being a goalie. um Obviously, if you're playing the whole game.
Speaker: you're kind of by yourself in the crease and the net there just chilling out for the whole game, right? Your teammates, when they make a line change, they're going back on the bench, they're chatting on the bench, they're you know trying to plan what they want to do for next shift, talk about what happened the previous shift, um kind of some of the things they're seeing. So they're interacting with each other. They're interacting with the coaching staff, with the trainers or the equipment managers, anything like that.
Speaker: um The other thing too is even on the ice, right? Like guys are kind of beside each other all the time. They're talking, they're communicating.
Speaker: That does happen with goalies, but it's not as often. and a lot of times, right? Like your team comes back, they break out of their zone and then they're gone again. Right? So um physically it can be lonely. You're kind of just on your own in the net there in the crease.
Speaker: um Aside from that, though, too, even if you are, say, in a tandem situation you're the goalie that's not playing, even when you're on the bench, it can kind of be a little bit lonely. And we even see this at the NHL level sometimes, too, right? Like, depending on the rink situation, sometimes the the backup goalies, you know, across the ice in the hallway, um that goes to the dressing room because there's not enough room on the benches, right?
Speaker: um I know Montreal is one that that happens lots at. I think there's a couple other rinks in the and NHL that that have that sort of situation. but That could be the case too for junior, for college, um even some like kind of the house league stuff. Depending on what your situation is, what your rank is like, you might not even have enough room for the backup goalie to sit on the bench.
Speaker: um So that can be a little isolating as well. But even if you are on the bench, a lot of times you know the goalie is kind of off to one side by themselves. I, it gets better as you get older because a lot of times, you know, the goalies are asked to open the gate or to take some sort of stats or something like that. Right. But, um, but you do see it pretty often still that the goalie on the bench is sitting away from everybody else and kind of just in their own little world there.
Speaker: Um, but aside from the physical kind of isolating nature of the position, there's also, um Just not a lot of systemic support for goalies.
Speaker: And that is a big, big reason why the isolation and the loneliness kind of set in. um when you're going through practice after practice you're getting shelled with hundreds of shots throughout a practice nobody's there to blow the play in the middle of the drill and give you feedback they do that for the forwards they do that for the d they don't do that for the goalies and more often than not there might be the odd coach out there that does and if you have that coach
Speaker: consider yourself lucky, like kudos to you. That's a good position to be in. But I would say 99% of the time we are dealing with coaches that just don't understand the position.
Speaker: the don't support the position. They don't really provide any sort of feedback. their drills aren't very goalie friendly. um Just all kind of that stuff that we've talked about before. When it comes to head coaches, it can create an environment of loneliness and can kind of like build that doubt in the goalie's mind, build that kind of I'm on my own here. i don't have anybody I can go to. I don't have somebody I can talk to or or get support from because
Speaker: Even if you do come to your coaching staff and kind of try and talk to them about an issue, more often than not, they just don't have the experience um to provide you any sort of advice on the goalie side just because they don't know and they haven't been there before.
Speaker: And then you kind of couple that with the fact that Even the governing bodies a lot of times just don't really have the proper resources for goalies that they do for players.
Speaker: um A lot of times goalies just kind of feel like, you know, they're second fiddle. They don't really belong. They're just kind of there because they have to be. um and Like the unfortunate part is a lot of times the way things are built, it kind of makes a goalie almost feel like they're a burden as opposed to an asset to the team.
Speaker: um You know, coaches are kind of like, well, I don't know what to do with my goalie. Like, i if I could, i just, you know, wouldn't have a goalie out there kind of thing, right? But then they also expect, obviously, that the goalie can go out and steal them every single game. um Again, overall, it's getting better than it hasn't been in previous years. But it does...
Speaker: but it it does create a little bit of that fracture, that divide between goalies and non-goalies. And because there's that fracture, unfortunately, the two sides are very heavily um differed in numbers, right? So if you take your average team of 16 players, and we'll just say 14 are skaters and two are goalies,
Speaker: um the way that the numbers work out there is you have two goalies and 14 players. So obviously there's going to be more resources given to the players. Obviously there's going to be more time and effort put into those players because they make up the majority. um And and i I understand why that's the case, but it is still one of those things that because of that, we end up with a lot of young goalies who just, they don't really get enough of the support they need and they can get into some very negative head spaces, which can affect them outside of hockey too and creep into, you know, real life. Right. um
Speaker: I mean, we've, We've seen countless professional goalies along across the years, I guess we should say across the years that have struggled with their mental health. And a lot of it is because of how isolated they have felt um throughout their career. And they just don't feel like they have anybody to turn to to kind of try and find those answers.
Speaker: um And that's just the ones that we know of from you know the professional levels. That doesn't take into account of the ones that we you know don't see, the ones that are in house league, in junior, even in college or semi-pro, the ones that don't have enough of a name that people really know who they are. But um there are plenty of goalies out there struggling with this sort of this sort of mental battle. Right.
Speaker: um so First things first, if this is you, um find somebody who understands to just be a bit of a sounding board.
Speaker: That's probably step number one to really start helping kind of get through it or at least come to better terms with it and be able to process it better.
Speaker: um It can be tough, but there are plenty of people out there who have gone through this situation. I know the goalie community in general is small when you compare it to the non-goalie community and kind of the general world. But that being said, this game has been around for a long time. There have been goalies that have played for a long time.
Speaker: So there is somebody in your circle that has gone through a similar experience that you're going through. And reaching out more often than not, the people in the goalie community are awesome and they will try and do what they can to help.
Speaker: Even if they don't have the answers themselves, they might be able to steer you in the direction to get the answers. But a lot of times it just comes down to having somebody to reach out to um on our end. like We are available for chatting if you guys want, like if you are in in a headspace that is not great and you do need somebody to reach out to, um you can always send us an email at goalies at truenorthgoaltending.com and we can kind of help try and provide some advice or at least try and get you in the right direction to talk to somebody who can help more than we can.
Speaker: um And and that in itself, just having somebody there can be super beneficial, super supportive.
Speaker: um Whatever organization you're in. look in that organization, you might be able to find a goalie who is, you know, a year or two older to reach out to and have the conversations with.
Speaker: um There might be, you know, a goalie coach that works with your organization or even one of the coaches on a different team who used to be a goalie. um You know, there's plenty of people online that, you know,
Speaker: do social media for goalies, whether it's, you know, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, wherever it is that you get your content from. There's plenty of of goalies out there to to be able to reach out to, um you know, just being like, hey, I'm struggling. I'm in a bad headspace.
Speaker: I feel isolated. I feel lonely. I don't know what I can do to shake this feeling. I don't know how to get through it. um Just being able to start that conversation takes such a burden off of you because now it's kind of out there. Now you have somebody who knows what's going on and who can kind of work with you a little better or help kind of try and guide you. And even if even if they don't provide any advice or any help or or direction or anything like that,
Speaker: Sometimes just being able to get that off of your chest and just put it out there and then it's not weighing so heavy on you. Sometimes that in itself is just helpful.
Speaker: um And that would be the very first step that I would look at doing.
Speaker: Obviously, there's varying levels of this. um Like if it's getting to the point that it's leading to anxiety, depression, like really getting down the the dark um the dark rabbit hole of mental health.
Speaker: then obviously that's something that you should probably also reach out to some sort of professional, preferably one that deals with sports psychology as well, um just so they have a bit of a better understanding of kind of your situation than just a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
Speaker: However, even just a regular psychologist or psychiatrist will have the tools to try and help you out as well. But the sports psychologist might just be a little bit more in tune with kind of your specific experience.
Speaker: um But so that's I think step number one find somebody even if it isn't necessarily somebody in the goalie community but it's somebody in your support system like parents or a family member or friends or whatever the case is just being able to start that conversation really helps kind of ease the burden a little bit um the other thing too like Great tools for for kind of opening up for this stuff is more of like the the community related social media stuff like there's Facebook groups, there's tons of Facebook groups for goalies, goalie parents, all that stuff. um Those are good to be able to reach out to.
Speaker: depends on the group you're in and I know this sometimes gets ah gets abused but you know you can post anonymously if if the group allows it and then also just you know if you go about it the right way, that can be a good way to put it out there without people knowing that it's you specifically. And then you can kind of get some advice. And again, then it's just out there and it's not fully just internalized and fully that weight is on your shoulders.
Speaker: um There's also like a couple subreddits for for hockey goalies. If Reddit is your thing, um I'm sure there's plenty of stuff, you know, on on all the social media channels, whether it's like even probably LinkedIn has something or um I don't know. But either way, any sort of like community group, forum, anything like that, that you can kind of put things out there into the goalie community that can really help as well um and you never know what sort of support that you might get or what sort of advice you might get it might be something that absolutely changes the way you approach the game um you know overall how you're feeling about the game makes it fun again
Speaker: um anything like that, like you just never know what that'll lead to. Right. So step number one for sure is is reach out, start the conversation, start talking to people and and get it out there.
Speaker: um From there. It really depends on on everybody's like personal situation as to what can help. um I do think that being able to take a break from the position is incredibly important to help kind of curb some of the isolation and the loneliness.
Speaker: Um, and that might mean just switching it up entirely. Right. So like, I know personally when I was playing, I also played goalie and soccer, I played goalie and ball hockey, I played goalie and inline hockey. Right. um That might be for some people too much to handle for you know the loneliness, the isolation side of things. So when you're not playing hockey, maybe it's a good thing to either get into a sport that doesn't have an isolating position or if it does get away from that position. Right. So playing out in even ice hockey, playing out in ice hockey in the spring and summer or you know ball hockey, inline hockey. playing something like baseball or lacrosse again not as a goalie just trying to get out there more and get a different dynamic than you're used to right um getting away from it just being you in a certain situation and maybe you can kind of be in more of a collaborative like team environment even though hockey is a team sport
Speaker: Goaltending is very different um than the other positions in the sport. So it's almost kind of its own separate thing. It's like an individual position in a team sport.
Speaker: And it's kind of weird that way. And that's why a lot of this stuff happens. But just getting into some other different environment or different dynamic to get yourself kind of some of that some of that balance in in what you're doing in sport and in life, that can help lots too.
Speaker: um The other thing though too, like part of it is also kind of on us as goalies. Like throughout the history of the game, we have kind of gotten the the wrap of you know, being weird and kind of, you know, being isolated and and all that stuff. So part of this has been brought upon us on ourselves, right? Like, I mean, how many times do you see, um you know, like the locker room dynamic of, of,
Speaker: guys playing sewer ball and talking, joking around and whatever. And then you see the goalie in the corner with a towel on his head and his headphones and doing whatever he's doing for his pregame routine. Right. um I'm not saying that that's not the thing to do, because obviously you need to do what you need to do to get ready for the game. And if that's what works for you, that's what that's what works for you. It is what it is.
Speaker: um but maybe away from the games and practice, we can be a little bit more involved with our team, right? Talk to the guys, get to know them a little bit more, right? Hang out away from the rink, you know, sit in on penalty kill meetings, talk to your D about, you know, um stopping the puck and what communications you guys are going to use.
Speaker: um having that interaction with your team can really help too. It, it not only helps you feel more included, but it kind of helps them to include you a little bit more. Like, I feel like the predetermined thought on goalies is that, you know what, they have to do their own thing. I'm just going to leave them alone. you you know, do my thing with, with the buddies. Right.
Speaker: um So if they kind of see that, Oh, Hey, you know what, this guy is actually pretty personable. You know, he's talking to me lot. So he wants to reach out, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. They might like your teammates might be a little bit more ready, I guess, to, to bring you in, to include you with them on, you know, outings away from the rink or, or chats in the dressing room or stuff like that. Um, so we can change the narrative a little bit on our end too. Um, just being a little bit more open, a little bit more collaborative and little bit more involved in that team dynamic, that team situation, that's going to go a long way in, uh, and kind of helping curb some of the loneliness as well.
Speaker: Um, the other thing too, and we kind of touched on it before, but going out and, looking for some sort of like mentorship relationship. Right. I mean, we offer it as a service at True North Goaltending. Like if that's a route you want to go, like we talk about stuff like directions for um on ice and off ice training. We talk about things like, you know, pregame routines, mental game training. um
Speaker: We also just kind of provide a sounding board, right, for goalies to to ask questions, to kind of express some of this stuff, to to get advice, kind of how they're feeling.
Speaker: um So that is something that we do offer ah if you wanted to head to truenorthgoaltending.com. um But it doesn't necessarily have to be a goalie coaching like organization or something that you have to pay for. like You can seek out goalies that are a little bit older than you or talk to a goalie coach that you've been working with.
Speaker: um they might be able to connect you with another goalie who went through a similar situation, or they might be able to provide you some advice there too. um But just having some somebody to to kind of have as that sounding board, whether it is goalie coach, another goalie, maybe even your teammate, you can like your your other goalie, you can talk to them about it too. But having some sort of kind of mentorship type of person, I guess, in your network to be able to kind of bounce some of this stuff off can really be helpful as well.
Speaker: um So that's something that you can seek out too, as well. And just a kind of note to the parents out there, um don't feel like like,
Speaker: bad or like you've dropped the ball or anything like that. If you do have a goalie that's struggling with this, and if you find out that they've been struggling for a while, it is really hard as a goalie to try and, you know, so start talking about this stuff because the way the system is designed, it is such a,
Speaker: Like it's basically meant to isolate goalies right from the start. um It is just how it's designed, like not intentionally, but that's just kind of how it it's, you know, evolved over the years.
Speaker: um So the there's nothing that you guys did or didn't do. um it's It is something, though, that you need to be aware of, especially if it starts kind of creeping in outside of just the hockey aspect like we talked about earlier. It can really start to compound some of the negative mental health effects.
Speaker: um So look for signs. um If you so see or feel that something's off with your goalie, um reach out and talk to them as best you can. Maybe try and get a sports psychologist involved if you feel like that's necessary. and try and get them talking to somebody or even start reaching out and try and find somebody who can kind of come into your support system for your goalie.
Speaker: um Because a lot of times, you guys mean well mom and dad you mean well but you don't have the experience to draw on to be able to help your goalies out and they just might feel like you know you don't have the answers they're looking for um so they don't even bother kind of telling you about it or reaching out or anything like that um we also all know how uh how open and honest teenagers are with their parents. So, you know, um, sometimes that just is what it is and you got to kind of do your best to navigate through that. But, uh,
Speaker: But i just wanted to throw that in there too, that keep an eye out for the signs, even if your goalie isn't coming to you and you know start to intervene if you need to. So if there's reluctance to go to the rink, if you know there just kind of seems to be some depressive symptoms coming along, like not eating, tired all the time, just kind of in general, not in a good mood most of the time, feeling down,
Speaker: um You know, things that used to excite them aren't exciting them anymore. All of that kind of sort of classic telltale signs. Just keep an eye out for those and and try and look out for any sort of like, you know, noticeable changes that might be for the worse.
Speaker: um But. The other thing too, in general, we just we've talked about this plenty of times before, but we do need to try and just find a better way to support our goalies, make them feel like they're involved, feel like they're part of the team. So coaches do what you can to include your goalies into, you know, meetings, practices, you know, conversations. um whatever the case is, just try and bring your goalies into the loop and when it makes sense as much as you can. um And then
Speaker: You know, we obviously have to work in getting better knowledge and for talking to our goalies for how we treat our goalies, how we build practices around our goalies, all of that stuff that we've talked at length about the general kind of support system just does need to be better for our goalies. So if you do have a hand in any of that, um please do your part and kind of help push that in the more positive direction.
Speaker: um But again, the big one is just getting the discussion going and starting the steps there and being involved with your team as best you can. Right. Like I know the goalies who might be a little bit more introverted, that might be a little tougher. But even if you start with one teammate, that's a little bit maybe in the same wavelength as you, maybe a little bit more of a quieter kid or, you know, maybe you guys have a similar interest that you've noticed that you can bring up or something like that. Even if you just start with one teammate, that's a good start and kind of get the snowball rolling from there.
Speaker: um But again, if you don't feel as comfortable getting into your team environment, try talking to another goalie. That's a really good start too. because i know it's not easy for everybody to just strike up conversations, especially with people that they're not super familiar with.
Speaker: um But it is something that sometimes you just got to kind of you know bite the bullet and and put yourself out there a little bit. And that's a lot easier said than done, but that does really help kind of you know subside the loneliness.
Speaker: um The other thing too is just to understand that you aren't alone. You aren't the only one that is or has dealt with this.
Speaker: At some point or another, every goalie deals with this at varying levels. um Some can deal with it better than others. Some it's a smaller window than others. Some kind of like don't really experience it even though they experience it it doesn't really like affect them I guess is kind of the better way of putting it but um either way at some point every goalie has kind of gone through some sort of isolation um so just understand that it's not just you you're not the only one it's it's something that a lot of goalies are struggling with
Speaker: and don't know how to navigate. And if that's you, that's okay. it's You're not the only one. It's not unique to just you. There are others out there. And one of these days, i think when we have some time, we we really have to get some sort of like forum going that tackles some of these topics, like, you know, dealing with the loneliness and the other mental health kind of effectors that come with, uh, come with goaltending.
Speaker: Also talk about like stuff like, you know, having a forum for like neurodivergent goalies and parents of neurodivergent goalies. I think that's something, um, if anyone out there wants to get that going, that'd be awesome. Uh, it is something that I do want to do and want to eventually get out there.
Speaker: it just haven't had time. I was looking into it kind of over the Christmas, uh, area, I guess, this this past season. um I was hoping it'd be something we could quickly kind of throw together, but it wasn't that simple. So it's it's on the back burner for now, but I do think kind of having a more open and active, you know, forum for goalies that kind of tackle some of these issues and can kind of, you know, have a platform to talk about these things would be very beneficial.
Speaker: um But You guys can also look at the lift the mask initiative that Justin with the goalie guild has kind of put together. That's another good one that really tackles mental health and and touches a lot on like the goalie specific stuff.
Speaker: um So there's there's some good resources through there that you guys can check out too, but Sam. I just mostly wanted to, like, I don't really have a lot of the answers per se, and I know that it's something that is going to take lots of people and kind of a bit of a shift in the systemic setup to really make a change in in how goalies feel and the isolation that comes with the position.
Speaker: um But I think kind of just starting the conversation, putting it out there that, you know, this is a thing. And even though we all know it's a thing, nobody acknowledges that it's a thing.
Speaker: um But I do think getting the discussion going and kind of getting a feel for, you know, the fact that there's other people out there that are dealing with this or have dealt with this or whatever the case is.
Speaker: um I think that's, that's kind of the first step. So I know I was a bit rambling. It was a bit kind of all over the place. I mostly just kind of wanted to start opening the discussion around this.
Speaker: um And I want you guys to know that you aren't alone. It's not just you. If you are struggling with this and that, you should reach out and start talking to somebody if you are struggling with this. um Again, goalies at truenorthgoaltending.com. That's our email. If you guys want to reach out and if it's something you are struggling with, we will do our best to help you out. To push you in the right direction, find the right resources to get you what you need to get. Or if it's just something to talk about, um we can kind of help out with that as well.
Speaker: um Again, just this was the May recap monthly newsletter. um If you guys do want to be a part of that monthly newsletter, we do send out an exclusive article every month as well as an exclusive practice plan. You can add to truenorthgoaltending.com, scroll to the bottom. There's a little thing to put in your email and hit subscribe and we can add you to that.
Speaker: So that's all I got for today, guys. Thank you, as always, for tuning in. If you do appreciate the show, the biggest thing you can do to help us out is to share it. ah You can also give us a like or a follow, depending on what platform you are on that always helps as well. um You can give us a follow on any of our social media platforms. We are on Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok at True North Goaltending. We are on Instagram at Y-E-G Goalie Coach. We do have a bunch of drills and articles. there is
Speaker: There has been some issues with the drills on our site that we are looking into and fixing. Those should be fixed pretty soon. And we when that's fixed we are i'm going to be putting more drills on there um but that's all at truenorthgoaltending.com and while you're there you can check out our merch you could book a session online or any of our camps um on there as well can check out some of our articles our courses all of that good stuff as well
Speaker: Appreciate you tuning in today, goalies. Thank you very much. Hopefully you guys had a good May and are caring up for a good June. Make some save, goalies. Take care.
Speaker: Bye-bye.
