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1995 - Desperado; Assassins
31 Plays2 years ago
Light hallucinogen use, the slightly queer sexiness of Antonio Banderas, the good ol' days of Robert Rodriguez, sneaking in sexy movies before your mom gets home.
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Transcript
Exploring Psychedelics: Personal Experiences
00:00:19
Speaker
Should we, okay, let's do what we normally do. Anything you're reading, watching, listening, doing, cool? I've been doing hallucinogens recently. That's kind of exciting.
00:00:37
Speaker
Just a little bit. The last three weekends, I know, I get surprised Rachel, because we went to see Anderson Pock last night at Brick, which is like the Prospect Park summer concert series at the Bandshell. And one of Rachel's friends has like mushroom spray, like you just spray it to your mouth. And I was like, well, I'll do it. And she's like, wait, did you just do mushrooms? I was like, yeah, this is like my third weekend in a row, because we had like a party, went to a party last weekend, just like tiny amounts. Yes.
00:01:06
Speaker
And then the weekend before that, we were at The Lot, which is like this kind of fun outdoor area where you can DJ and people can hang out and have drinks or coffee or whatever. And someone was like, oh, do you want to eat this tiny amount of molly? And I said, yes. And then I stopped drinking and I drank water. And then I was like, oh, let's go home early. Don't we want to wake up early tomorrow? And it just kind of like,
00:01:32
Speaker
was a nice kicker to my head, so yeah. Tiny amounts of
Psychedelics: Hard Drugs or Mental Health Aid?
00:01:37
Speaker
hard drugs has been really nice. Like psychedelics are not hard drugs. I guess so. I guess so. OK, it's not like you're just like doing tiny rails of cocaine, not that like I have anything against people who do that. It's more just like I just don't even at this point. You're basically just doing mental health.
00:02:01
Speaker
It's kind of what it feels like. I mean, yeah. I mean, it is literally what it is. Yeah. That time, a couple of weekends back, where I ate a tiny amount of molly, I just, yeah, like it shut. I was just like, oh, let's go home. I didn't eat anything crazy. They brought out the cocaine. And I was like, oh, no, thank you. I don't think I'll feel that good tomorrow if I do that. And I got up the next day and went for a run. It was great.
00:02:24
Speaker
There are
Debunking Brain Development Myths
00:02:25
Speaker
clinical trials that are actively going on right now about using various psychedelics to treat all kinds of things.
00:02:40
Speaker
Fuck, I have to go back. I was in Western Pennsylvania this week. And like, you know, not a lot of good eating opportunities out there. And I was just like, I don't know, I drank less. I had like, you know, went to the strobe. Strob. Strob. Strob. S-T-R-A-U-B. No, that's the one. Strob. And like, I went there and had my one beer. I don't know, I feel like eating a little bit of mushrooms last weekend kind of like, uh, set me up to, uh, for, what's it like, uh, when you don't overindulge, what is it?
00:03:10
Speaker
moderation. That's that's the one. This isn't a bit. I literally just could not think of that one. But no, actually, he's been talking about wanting to do this because like he just wants like a he wants like a little small neurological reset, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And that's really what they do. I fucking love them. I'll do I will do a lot of them and I will do a small amount of them. I basically don't give a shit. Like I've never had a bad
00:03:39
Speaker
I've never had a quote unquote bad trip. So like, for me, I'm a huge advocate of them. Like, I haven't had a bad experience. I don't. I know the only people that I know that have had bad experiences are stories that I've been told from when like we were like I was a teenager and feel like I had a bad trip and I saw all this crazy shit. And it's like,
00:04:01
Speaker
I guess. You shouldn't. Well, maybe you shouldn't do that much acid when your brain is in the teenage years and you're just not set up to handle shit like that. Oh, my God. Yes, accurate. One hundred percent. But that what you just said just sparked a fucking thing in my brain that you are going to fucking trip what I tell you. OK, you've heard that
Career Contemplations: From Internships to PhDs
00:04:28
Speaker
the human brain
00:04:31
Speaker
leaves adolescence at the age of 25. Our human brain is done developing at the age of 25. You've heard this before, right? I believe so. Yeah, and that also anecdotally sounds correct. Well, it turns out it's not fucking true. Oh, okay. What is it, like 32 or something? No, it turns out that this quote
00:04:49
Speaker
was a quote. This was a quote that was in a newspaper from a study that was that was looking at brain development. But the oldest people in the study were twenty five. And somehow the person who wrote that article construed the results as saying that the brain development stops ends at twenty five. But that the study
00:05:14
Speaker
just didn't include anyone over the age of 25. And somehow this thing has become like considered true. Like it is referenced in movies, books, scientific papers. My fucking therapist told me this. And it turns out, it turns out that this is just, it's just fucking pop culture. Yeah. That's a, that sounds like a hilariously bad science.
00:05:43
Speaker
Trevin was just like, he's like, oh, this is why you always read the second,
Film Discussion: Desperado and Rodriguez's Style
00:05:47
Speaker
the fucking scientific paper yourself. That's right. If there's a link, at least read the abstract because chances are, whomever is reporting on it doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about. And they're like,
00:06:01
Speaker
recontextualizing something or making it hyperbolic or whatever. But yeah, I didn't do more research into if there was more research around this, but like this is effectively an urban legend. Crazy. Yeah. That's interesting. Okay. Is that a trip? That's good to know.
00:06:21
Speaker
Yeah, and it also kind of made me feel like a little bit better because like, you know, sometimes people are really fond of saying like, oh, the brain is plastic and oh, you can make new synapses. And there was always sort of like a little bit of like a defeatism in that for me because I'm like, well, it doesn't really fucking matter because like, what more can I do? I'm already 25 and my brain isn't, my brain is done doing any new shit, right?
00:06:46
Speaker
So it's really just maintaining what I have. But apparently that's not true. And you can develop new neural pathways and you can like. I don't believe that at all. Change your brain. Yeah. So there you go. I mean, as as someone who refuses to stick with one career path or or set of hobbies. Yep. Like even for more than two years. Like I don't believe that you can't keep learning or keep learning languages or sports or whatever.
00:07:11
Speaker
So what about you? What do you have to do? What fun things have you been consuming? Thanks for having me. I've been, let's see, I've been taking her pretty easy, really kind of just diving in headfirst to my internship, which is going really well. I'm learning a lot about Polish history, which is really cool and interesting. I'm also realizing that like,
00:07:43
Speaker
curatorial work is really interesting to me because it really is this very interesting intersection of art,
Critiquing Desperado: Visuals and Character Agency
00:07:55
Speaker
design, and storytelling.
00:08:01
Speaker
I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to do graduate work, and I'm not even entirely sure that I necessarily wanted to go into curatorial for my graduate program because there's not that many jobs in that field.
00:08:17
Speaker
There are a lot of jobs in the design world, right? So I could always do curatorial work, like as like a, maybe it's like part time, but it's just making me really realize like this time that I've been in schools, like really helping me focus that I really love telling stories. Like I really, I really love telling stories. I love telling stories that like learn, that you learn from. So like,
00:08:44
Speaker
historical nonfiction stories. And so that's been really interesting for me. And like, telling stories is also, you know, part of that is like, you're also like, it's a teaching moment.
00:08:59
Speaker
So that's been really interesting. So like, I don't know. I'm just like, I still have this struggle of like, what do I want to do with my life? But I just, I really like going to school and I kind of think it would be cool to be a teacher, but also like, I don't know if I have the energy to do that. It's like a college professor or maybe the high school teacher. Interesting. I don't know.
00:09:27
Speaker
It would be cool. I mean, it would be cool to like be someone who like, you know, affects some kind of change in my community and isn't just a corporate shell that's working for a paycheck so that my incredibly brilliant partner can get a PhD. But it's possible that that'll be what happens. But who knows? Who knows? Maybe we'll just both be in school forever.
00:09:50
Speaker
but then you're incredibly brilliant master physicist partner. He wants to go into research. He wants to do research. Oh yeah. He was going to be like an instrumentation guy. He is going to be hopefully an instrumentation guy. And that is a field that there are not a lot of people in. However, he doesn't want to do corporate. And so that really means that he can only do research, which really means that like we're talking,
00:10:18
Speaker
Not the most money in the world. Not the most money that a aerospace engineer with an astrophysics degree could get. Yeah. But he doesn't want to work for a defense contractor, and I love him for that. Fair. Totally fair. So if I have to work for an ad agency or some big corporation designing coffee makers or something, I don't know.
00:10:49
Speaker
It might, it would probably be worth it, you know? For a time. For a time. I think I can do whatever. Yeah. I'll probably work while he's doing grad school and then if I really want to do grad school, I'll do it myself. I'll probably, like, honestly, there's a part of me that's like, fuck, I'll just like knock out a two year program and anything just so I could get a college teaching job. For sure. Yeah. So, who knows? Be a two year job.
00:11:15
Speaker
If I do a master's in education, though, get those fucking student loans forgiven. I did learn, though, that the University of Uppsala, and I think it's in Sweden, it might be in Norway, it's definitely in Scandinavia, but the University of Uppsala, their graduates, their PhD robes, first of all, I learned that all of your graduate robes are different depending on which darker
Introducing Assassins: A Deep Dive
00:11:37
Speaker
year you're in, but the ones from the University of Uppsala give you a top hat.
00:11:43
Speaker
nice instead of like a cap like a phd cap and so now i'm like well clearly i have to just figure out how to get my phd from that school so i can get a little top hat as opposed to a mortarboard yeah yeah and just wear it around and just
00:12:00
Speaker
Tip it at people. I guess the robes have tails. Also, they're like jacketed at top and then they have like a robe-y tail bottom moment. I'm just like, this sounds like fucking fly as shit. This is like something I would just wear around. Get the fuck out of here. A top hat and tails? Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Why not? You have to do top hat, tails, unitard.
00:12:26
Speaker
with bikini bottom unitard and pantyhose. I'll just look like a fucking extra from Cabaret. Yeah, pretty much. Should we talk about this movie? Let's do it. All right. So Desperado, had you seen this movie before? I think I had seen it one time. This is a, you know,
00:12:50
Speaker
This is right up my alley as a 13-year-old or 12-year-old or whenever this came out. And obviously, the trailers, I'm pretty sure this movie is rated R, so I can't imagine that I would have been allowed to go see it in the theaters. Yeah. Should we do the intro? Oh yeah, you want to do it? Sure.
00:13:07
Speaker
Perhaps. Yeah, I guess we did. We did blow right past that. Do you want to go? I'll do it. I'll do it. Yeah. Welcome to another episode of We're Spanning Time. This is a podcast in which we explore the films of a particular year. This season's year is 1995. I'm Beth Martini. And I am Bud Catino.
00:13:26
Speaker
And for today's episode, we are covering Desperados, which I did watch, and Assassins, which I did not watch. So we'll see how that goes. That's right. Yes. And this is also introducing a segment that I made up 90 minutes ago called I Just Can't.
00:13:43
Speaker
in which I will make you guess what the movie Assassins is about with a few hints here and there. Incredible. That should be fun. Fantastic. So yeah, this movie was rated R. So you would not have been allowed to see it. That's correct. Yeah. Fun fact, this movie was originally rated NC-17. Right.
00:14:08
Speaker
And they had to do a significant amount of editing, a lot of which was kind of cut back in in various different cuts, except for the final scene where they fade to white. That fade to white was actually a cut, like crazy scene. And then Rodriguez decided to keep it just as a fade to white. So there's no version that exists without that.
00:14:38
Speaker
Yeah, that's what I was going to ask you, because you seem to be pretty good about this sort of thing, like finding different versions of films that we're watching. But yeah, I couldn't find any other versions or outtakes or anything like that, unfortunately. But yeah, it sounded like they cut for sex because there is that incredibly steamy sex scene. Traumatic, traumatic for Salma Hayek at the time.
00:14:58
Speaker
Yes, yes. So she actually did some interviews about it fairly recently. And she was saying that it wasn't so much that the sex scene itself was the part that was traumatic for her. It was the fact that like she had never done anything like that before because this is like her first major breakout film. She had only really done Mexican soap operas up until now. Correct.
00:15:26
Speaker
It seemed like it didn't matter at all to Antonio Banderas. Like he was just like, yeah, whatever. It's just, we're just acting. It's just a thing that we have to do. And that was like, that was like stressing her out. And then she kept thinking about how her dad and her brothers might see it and that they were gonna think stuff about her because of it. Whereas a man in that position, his dad would just be like, there's my boy. Like that's like a direct quote from her.
00:15:54
Speaker
Yeah, like, well, I mean, yeah, and even the way that she is posed in that sex scene is she is so much more vulnerable than Antonio Banderas is just the positions that they put her in. I mean, it sounds like it was traumatic, not through any like actions on Robert Rodriguez or A.B.'s part, but it just was like fucking scary, which I can completely imagine being a woman.
00:16:22
Speaker
And she, she like sort of emphatically was like they were fucking amazing to me. Like everybody was so kind and so considerate. It was a completely closed set except for Antonio Baderas and Robert Rodriguez and Robert Rodriguez's wife at the time, all of whom which I'm close friends with. Yeah.
00:16:41
Speaker
And so like, it was just like the idea of that vulnerability that was really stressed, like causing her a lot of anxiety, which is why it's so like weirdly disjointed because they basically just only shot with it, shot what they could before she would like feel uncomfortable. And then they would take a break and then they would shoot again.
00:17:02
Speaker
Yeah, which is it's that sort of it's so lucky that if she was going to have that reaction in like her first like major movie sex scene, it's she's quite lucky that she did that on a Robert Rodriguez film because that's because he like came up doing like such low budget shit with El Mariachi. He had he just he got so tight with El Mariachi about
00:17:27
Speaker
like almost editing on the fly. Yes. And just like moving camera angles and shooting things like really quick little shots, but from different angles. So it looks like he's he's editing before he even has to edit pretty much. Right. So like, although that sex scene is weird and kind of chopped up, it works. I think it works. Except for the fucking music, literally. What was the music? So Trevyn and I both simultaneously. I'm pulling up my notes right now.
00:17:58
Speaker
Simultaneously, we're like, what the fuck is the music in this scene? And it turns out that it was a fucking Carlos Santana song. And while I was listening to it, I was like, oh, this sounds like Santana. But it sounds like the fucking shitty Santana, that fucking Matchbox 20 song. Right.
00:18:21
Speaker
with the bad synths in the background. It was so funny. He and I... It's a little cheesy for sure. Oh, it was so bad. But yeah, so the cut that I watched...
00:18:35
Speaker
It did have the Quentin Tarantino getting shot in the head, which apparently was removed for the theatrical release. Oh, interesting. But was maybe cut back in for the DVD or VHS release.
00:18:52
Speaker
Right. Okay, so just going back to how I watched it. So this is this is me, you know, in 1995, just watching the trailers on TV for this and be like, Holy shit, I have to see this movie. Couldn't do it. And it wasn't until like, Raphael Benson was my fucking classmate in junior high. And he's like,
00:19:14
Speaker
Yo, I've got a copy of Desperado on VHS. And I was like, please, can I borrow it? I have to buy it. I have to. And that's how I saw it. I fucking watched Desperado in those interstitial times between I got home from junior high and my mom got home from work. Perfect. And that's where I got to see it. Sorry, that was just, I had to just express how that happened because it's such an important feeling about when I got to watch like regular movies.
00:19:43
Speaker
I love that like that there's like such like a assisting like a clear memory that you have of that because like I don't remember when I saw it like like like I know I've seen it one time but I do not remember when it was like I don't remember if it was like part of a movie marathon or whatever or like if we were just have it like if it was just on or if like a roommate had downloaded it or something I don't really remember but I know that like I saw it once
00:20:13
Speaker
Yeah But yeah, it was it was it was a pretty fun one. I'm not gonna lie Did you enjoy this movie? I did. I really did. I thought it was really funny. It's like Seriously cheesy at some points, but I that that was like absolutely like the intent yeah and then doing some research about it after the fact and like
00:20:37
Speaker
really understanding the mind frame that Rodriguez was in when he made it, made it all the more fun to me. Because he was actively attempting to avoid the sophomore slump. So he released four things in very short succession, so no one could guess which one was the second movie he made.
00:21:01
Speaker
Oh, interesting. Yeah, because he did a segment for Four Rooms, which we have to do also came out this year. Four Rooms, it's him, Tarantino. I should just look it up and name them. But it's like him, Tarantino, and two other directors did all short pieces that take place in a hotel, pretty much. And Tim Roth is the bellhop. Amazing. And he plays a really campy character, bellhop, that kind of
00:21:28
Speaker
this character interacts with everyone. And Antonio Banderas is also in that movie as well. We're definitely gonna watch that. But yeah, so he does that. What else did he do this year? Like short films, right? No, it was, it was, it was this. The four rooms thing. A feature length installment of Showtime's Rebel Highway and Thot Ligy series titled, his was titled Road Racers. Then he did this segment. And that's with Salma Hayek. That's like kind of the first time that they were together.
00:21:57
Speaker
Yeah, and then the segment for Four Rooms, and then he did Dusk Till Dawn and then also Desperado. So like all four of those in short succession. Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah, Dusk Till Dawn I also would love to cover. That's 96.
00:22:12
Speaker
Yep. 96 is a big year. We got to do 96 because that's fifth element. That's dust till dawn. There's a bunch of cool shit that came out in 96. If you want to do like a bleed over like 90 like, you know, shout outs to 94 and 94 to 96 is just like fucking kind of a banger. Totally. You also did the faculty. Did you ever see that movie in 98? Oh boy. Take a gander at the faculty. It's a
00:22:41
Speaker
Josh, well, Jordana Brewster, Josh Hartnett, Funka Jensen, it's a lot of motherfuckers. Piper Laurie, John Stewart, Robert Patrick, Elijah Wood. It's a bunch of teenagers running around in high school beating up aliens, like from outer space aliens. What? Usher is in it. Usher is in it. Oh my God. No, I passed over Usher, yeah.
00:23:11
Speaker
That is wild. Making love in this club. Yeah, Harvey Weinstein production Miramax films. Yeah. It's a fun movie. How much does Famke Jansen look like Gal Gadot? I think they look so similar. Yeah, I think she looks like an older Gal Gadot at this point, I guess. Yeah.
00:23:34
Speaker
a hotter Gal Gadot. I would say she's hotter than Gal Gadot. A non-Zionist Gal Gadot. Yeah, I also have issues. Gal Gadot is very attractive to me if we want to talk about her looks, but I think that her head is too small.
00:23:52
Speaker
Her hands are too large. Her hands to head ratio is not doing it for me. Not doing it for you. If we want to purely objectify her physical appearance, that's my take on Calguro. I just think her politics are shit and she's wildly out of touch. Well, she cannot be a human being. She's a gorgeous fucking movie star, so she's... Yeah.
00:24:18
Speaker
Anyway, back to the matter at hand. So, yeah, we didn't do the proper, like Desperado, Rodriguez, Director Antonio Banderas, Joaquim de Almeida. Did you look up this guy? That's Butcho.
00:24:34
Speaker
who is the Mariachi's older brother, Salma Hayek, who plays the town hottie who just causes fucking car crashes. Absolutely incredible. My note for that was Salma Hayek, hot. She is so hot.
00:24:55
Speaker
So hot. She owns a place called Cafe Con Libro. Like, are you kidding me? That's awesome. Cafe Bookstore in a gang town. And she's a hottie. Let me get that. Every time I see her in a movie, like, I think Rachel and I saw a Samuel Hayek movie. And she, like, just caught me, like, googling to see how old she is. Because I was like, is there a chance? Is she too old for me?
00:25:26
Speaker
She's like 55, that's totally still a chance. There's always a chance. We got Steve Buscemi, who is our second time seeing him this season. We saw him in Billy Madison, so he's definitely making the rounds, does a good job as always. He's like the opening guy. That Steve Buscemi opening is chef's kiss. Yeah, he's so much fun.
00:25:52
Speaker
He was one of the best guys in Billy Madison to hold stand-out performance. He really sets up this scene where he walks into, I don't know if we're doing synopses or anything, but
00:26:05
Speaker
He walks into the bar and he's pretty much there to sort of like figure out if Bucho is around or if Bucho is even the guy that they're actually looking for. Kind of susses that out and then he kind of lays this story down like, I don't know man, I was at this bar and this gigantic fuck off Mexican came in, just started shooting everyone and like he was gonna kill me but he killed someone else instead.
00:26:30
Speaker
I love the line he says, as if the lights just dimmed, dimmed just for him. Yeah. I really love that a lot. Notably missing from your list here of people, you know, we have Steve Buscemi, we have Cheechman, we have Quentin Tarantino, who's just like the world's worst actor ever. Danny. Danny Trejo. Come on. Sorry.
00:26:59
Speaker
What a fucking guy. His story is absolutely cuckoo bananas. Do you know about his background? Only vaguely, but yeah, light me up. So he did some actual time in San Quentin.
00:27:18
Speaker
And when he got out, he kind of became he started like becoming like a like a drug counselor, like an narcotics counselor for other people who were dealing with the law in that regard. And somebody was just like pretty casually like, hey, bud, like, you know, you can get 50 bucks a day if you go and be an extra on films. And so he's like, fucking cool. Yeah, I'm going to do that. And then he ran into someone who he
00:27:45
Speaker
who was a famous writer at this point, but had also done time in San Quentin. And this dude was like, oh, did you know that he's a crazy boxer? He's an incredible boxer.
00:28:02
Speaker
They were like, cool. And he became like a Hollywood boxing teacher. He was teaching people how to do fight choreography, basically. And that's how he kind of got his start into being in Hollywood. But it was literally just because he was like, I could use the extra cash and started showing up to film sets as an extra.
00:28:26
Speaker
That's right. I mean, he's got such a great face. Oh, my God. And just like such great like expression and physicality and his tattoos are fucking awesome. Yeah. And he's just like he's like a he's got such like a he's got such like a cool demeanor and is apparently the nicest human being on the face of the planet.
00:28:45
Speaker
Like every, every account of him from the plebes says, oh yeah, Danny Trejo came into my fucking restaurant. He was the fucking nicest person ever. And he was super respectful. And it's like, yeah, because he's an actual human. He's not like a, he doesn't benefit from the nepotism that is so common in Hollywood now.
00:29:06
Speaker
Although speaking of nepotism, he has cousins with Robert Rodriguez, which is, I'm sure why he got in this book. Yeah, but also like Robert Rodriguez is kind of like a success story too. You know, like El Mariachi was what, seven grand. They made that movie on $7,000. Yeah, he did that for seven grand and he had like University of Texas film school at Austin would not even let him into the school because his grades were so shitty.
00:29:35
Speaker
he's definitely not connected to anyone. Like he just like, just based on the merit of like a bunch of like a handful of like short movies that were like so low budge. He just like got, you know, awareness for his shit. Obviously like Mariachi's is, that's kind of like his way that he gets bigger funding for Desperado, but Desperado was like fucking,
00:30:02
Speaker
The budget was like something ridiculous. Seven mil. Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah, which is like nothing. In comparison to our analysis of Waterworld, that is literally like pennies by comparison. Yeah. And then it made 58 worldwide. Yeah, which is pretty incredible. So I love your quick plot synopsis.
00:30:31
Speaker
Two brothers and the women they are both dating are all individually having a hard week at work. That's pretty much it.
00:30:39
Speaker
Yeah, that's it. That's pretty much it. Like everyone's having a hard time at work. Shit's a little fucked up in ways that they didn't expect it to be. Shit just gets kind of fucked up in ways they didn't like, even like, you know, the mariachi. He doesn't really want to kill all these people, but I mean, he has kind of fucked shit up so that he has created this myth for himself. Yeah.
00:31:03
Speaker
that is traveling ahead and he's doing it on purpose to freak people out, but he is trying to be reasonable with people and not cause blood baths everywhere he goes. Totally. Something that I noticed in the opening of the film is like, so they cut to the mariachi performing and the song that they are performing is like a
00:31:30
Speaker
Clap like a famous famous song and I'm like, oh that songs like so great. I love it I've heard it like a million times and But I'm like watching it. I'm like, this is so weird. Why is the sound cut like this? Is Antonio Banderas even singing? The room would not be that silent I'm like I'm like having this train of thought while I'm like Wondering why the sound editing is like this and then I instantly realize oh it's because this is a dream sequence like
00:32:00
Speaker
This isn't like some cavalier lead up to something. It's literally not actually happening in real time. And I just thought that it was such an interesting and subtle way to create a sort of alternate reality through the sound editing. Oh, interesting. OK.
00:32:24
Speaker
Yeah, because then after the song is over, it is silent in the room. Right. And there's just like the villain from Amariyachi, the movie, is just like clapping. Right. And then it segues to like, you know, the our main character watching his lover get killed and then he gets shot through the hand.
00:32:41
Speaker
which was actually re-filmed for this film because apparently that film, that sequence happens in the first movie. But it's a different character. Right. A different actor. A different actor. Yeah. It is a...
00:33:00
Speaker
Carlos Gallardo, who is in this film, but he plays Campo. Campo or Kino? One of them. I think it was Campo. Yeah. So, yeah, that was a really interesting sort of, you know, second scene. You know, we have this, like, larger than life mythical story being told by, like, the most American towny sort of, like,
00:33:27
Speaker
Hello, fellow bar people. Hello, fellow Mexican gangsters. Yes. You know, and just like the whole like, you know, I was in this other bar, not filled with people of your finest steam. Yeah. This is the best beer I've ever had. And then everyone else throughout the entire rest of the film is like, this beer tastes like shit.
00:33:55
Speaker
That's cause we piss in it. Yeah. So fucking funny. I love Steve Buscemi's handkerchief that he's wearing tied around his neck like so. He does for like a New York fireman, like he does like goofy dweeb so well. He really does. Yeah. Just like vulnerable, skinny white guy. Yeah. I don't know how he does it so well. Um, but you know, uh,
00:34:22
Speaker
I did have this sort of realization when they were talking in the room when Steve Buscemi's character goes back to retell the story. There's this undercurrent throughout the entire story. The thing about revenge is that it's never satisfied.
00:34:42
Speaker
Like if you're living in revenge, you're always going to be looking for revenge. And I think that that was like something that was like sort of like that driving kind of undercurrent, which I think is pretty interesting considering how like the vast majority of this film is like just, you know, gun fights, just big shootouts.
00:35:08
Speaker
Yeah, it's the Empire Records of gunfights, pretty much. It's just like Empire Records, but with gunfights, I would say. Exactly, exactly. I mean, that was kind of a lot of the reviews of the time were like, oh, this is fucking gorgeous, but like...
00:35:22
Speaker
Is there, are there characters? Are there really plots? You know, is there even really much of a conflict driving anything that makes sense? This movie made no sense whatsoever. If you, well, I mean, it made sense, but it was kind of silly. Like, Bucho is, Bucho is the main villain. And one of the conflicts here is that Bucho is like the main, like,
00:35:52
Speaker
drug cartel, I don't know, kingpin of the area, Ciudad Acuna, across from Del Rio, Texas.
00:36:01
Speaker
where was I? Oh yeah, Butcho is the main kingpin of this area, and I don't know, one of his lieutenants shoots the Mariachi's fucking girlfriend or whatever. And so the Mariachi is just like on this endless fucking killing spree trying to get to the top. And spoiler alert, the top, it's his brother. Butcho is his brother, he finds out.
00:36:24
Speaker
I literally did not see that coming. Did you forget? Did you forget that that was the case? I don't even know. I don't even know if I really remembered yet that that was the case. It was really like I was like, I was genuinely like I think I wrote in my pad like I took like I took handwritten notes. They're brothers.
00:36:48
Speaker
Um, okay. So it worked. It worked for you. I did. It worked. Yeah, it worked. It really did. Um, I think like, okay. So, you know, yeah, there isn't a plot, but there is like this like subtlety of a plot, right? Because like there's this one scene that should have been a throwaway scene. Like it shouldn't have really, it had no real reason except for a context. And it's the moment where,
00:37:18
Speaker
Amariachi has found the bar and he's crossing the street and then we look at the street and it is a horse drawn taxi that is holding up a semi truck. Yeah. And I just think that that's like, you know,
00:37:35
Speaker
It's like a really fascinating juxtaposition of of Mexico, which is like this world that is like has this like really rich past but is very pre-industrial, but that is rapidly becoming industrialized and rapidly being modernized, particularly border towns. And it's like this like fight of like the old versus the new.
00:38:01
Speaker
And I think that there's a reason why, because Robert Rodriguez is so good at making clear decisions in terms of his editing, there's a reason why that was kept in. And it is to show that dichotomy of culture, I think.
00:38:24
Speaker
I agree. I mean, he did such a good job of like, just like set dressing, like everything like all all the details are so perfect. It is a truly very immersive film and the lighting is so great. Just the use the use of like, it is that feeling we've talked about this, I think with other films where
00:38:44
Speaker
It's, it's so bright, like in Mexico that it's, it's bright and also cast tons of shadows so he's constantly working with like this sort of like intense like Carrasquero effects where there's like people's faces are all over lit and then also overly shadowed at the same time.
00:39:04
Speaker
Speaking of that, I wanted to say, yeah, this is such an extremely Mexican movie. Yes. And at the time, you were not seeing such Mexican movies in mainstream film. Right. Obviously, Antonio Baderis is from Spain. Joaquin de Almeida, who plays Bucho, is like
00:39:26
Speaker
I would be mad at him for being another European playing the Mexican because can't we just get Mexican factors? But that fool is just totally of no ethnicity or nationality. He speaks six languages. He can do German, French, Italian. He's kind of amazing if you look at his bio.
00:39:44
Speaker
Yeah. And he does play like the, he plays like the colonizer very well. He does for sure. You know, and he kind of typifies the look of that, of the colonizing drug dealer, right? The man who can, you know, who can pass in any population. Absolutely.
00:40:09
Speaker
I was gonna say something that I noticed about the set dressing. Did you happen to notice that there was a sign on the pillar outside of the bar that said members and non-members only? Yeah. That's looking great. And it's just like these little tongue-in-cheek things because it is. It's like there's like there is like this like sort of you know
00:40:37
Speaker
thing about Mexico and cartel and violence and stuff. But then it's also got these like really fucking high camp moments that are just like so intentional that they aren't bad. Right. Right. Right. You know, and I think that that's really the mark between something that is camp and something that's just bad is like the intentionality behind it. Yeah.
00:41:06
Speaker
I definitely think that's right. A lot of the crazy action choreography in this movie is way over the top. Things blowing up and dudes just getting catapulted through the air for no reason. Oh my god. It's just so over the top and you're like, I don't care. It's fucking fun. Some of the fight choreography is just stupid. I just wrote, oh, this is stupid. No one fights this way. This doesn't make any sense.
00:41:34
Speaker
Did you happen to notice any of the leg moves that Antonio Banderas was doing while he was running? Yes. There's this crazy one where he's like crawling along the bar while people were trying to shoot at him and then he's like at the other end of the bar and like flips over in his belly and then he's got his like lower back arched and his ass is in the air and then his legs are very sexy and dangling in the air while he's like
00:42:00
Speaker
He's like daintily shooting fools from across the bar, pretty much. He is just fucking everything in this entire movie. He's fucking Salma Hayek. He's fucking the other characters, the guns, the camera, the lights, the walls, like, yeah, just drinking water. He's fucking the water he drinks. He's just having sex with everything.
00:42:24
Speaker
It's so sexy. He's so sexy. It's ridiculous. It's completely unbelievable, but it's so much fun. It really is. It's so much fun. The absurd scene that I wanted to call out for the shooting stylings was in the last gun shoot out, and he lands on the hood of the truck, and then he basically just does a breakdancer leg.
00:42:52
Speaker
Yeah, and then it's like shooting up with two guns But has his like legs like over like bent over his body is like he's doing a stall in a breakdancing move Yeah, I mean he he was he's an incredible Physical actor because I don't think they even had a stunt double for him No, I don't think so. You just did all his own stunts maybe with the exception of like jumping from rooftop to rooftop, but yeah, I
00:43:16
Speaker
Um, I forget he was a football player or like our soccer player, I think. Oh, I didn't know that he was going to be like a pro sports person and then broke his foot. And then I think he got into theater and theater is where like Pedro Almodovar finds him.
00:43:36
Speaker
And he, that's kind of where he got to start is doing like a lot of our movies. I don't know if you've seen him in any of those. Are you a, are you a, um, one of our fans by any chance? I hold on possibly by my biggest problem is the, the whole name blindness thing. Like,
00:43:53
Speaker
I've seen a billion movies. I've seen a billion artworks, but I couldn't tell you the name of any of the artists or artworks or anything because my brain just doesn't record that information. Totally fair. He's like a gay director from Spain. Yes.
00:44:14
Speaker
He kind of gives like benderos his start. I think the ones, Time Me Up, Time Me Down is maybe the one that I've seen. Oh, he did The Devil's Backbone, which is one of the best movies I have ever seen in my life. Yeah. It is truly fucking incredible.
00:44:36
Speaker
Um, he also did, um, the broken embraces, which got a lot of like critical sort of a claim with, uh, Penelope Cruz. Yeah, that's a good one for sure. And Volver was also highly, highly talked about, but the only one that I've seen of his was, uh, the devil's backbone and that movie fucking slaps.
00:45:04
Speaker
Yeah, they're all really good, I fucking, I've seen just a couple. I think, well better, I think I did see with Penelope Cruz, that's kind of like a later one, maybe about like 10 years ago, oh yeah. Oh, 2006. Yeah. But yeah, and Antonio just, and he played a lot of queer characters, which is really interesting, early on in his career. Which maybe is why he was so sexy, so sexy in this one, I don't know. Perhaps. It was so sexy.
00:45:34
Speaker
Indeed. He also is so dramatic. Like the scene in the bookstore after the, after, what is it? Bucho? The bad guy? After he like leaves, he like comes out from behind and he's like literally like,
00:45:56
Speaker
And then he sits on the fucking tipped over cash register and picks up the money and just throws it in the air and stares down at the ground. It was just like, I'm like, oh my god, you're being such a dramatic bitch right now. Get out of here.
00:46:13
Speaker
Yeah. So how did you feel about this whole weird premise, which we're, we're, we see this, we're going to see this a lot, um, in this era of movies where it's like this like purpose driven man of violence.
00:46:27
Speaker
Comes into like a beautiful woman's life and completely takes over her life To the extent where she seemingly has no agency She cannot resist this sexy and purposeful man of violence and like every time he's rude to her She just is like oh, but I like him so much and she has this like loopy ass smile on her face I didn't like it not here for it
00:46:52
Speaker
What are you going to do? It's just like such a it. I mean, the thing is, it's like it's like it's such a tired trope. But like it's, you know, it's a it's a trope for a reason.
00:47:09
Speaker
and it's stupid and I kind of wish. So like, again, I kind of went into this movie feeling like I had never seen it before, even though I have definitely at some point seen it in my life. And the one the one scene that I kind of always had in my brain was the scene with the two of them walking away from the explosion.
00:47:32
Speaker
Sure, that's the iconic scene. Iconic, right? And so I kind of had this idea that, like, Saba Hayek was, like, way more of, like, an active badass and that she, like, was way more actively involved in, like, fucking up the bad guys. And I feel like that is true in Once Upon a Time in Mexico. Like, she's much more of, like, a fucking badass in that.
00:48:02
Speaker
And so like to see that that wasn't exactly the case and that really he just like came into her life and fucked up all of her shit and like, you know, she clearly, she wasn't.
00:48:15
Speaker
a good girl per se because she was willing to turn the other cheek when it came to the drug smuggling and shit, but she wasn't a badass per se either, right? She was a low-level operative in organized drug trafficking. Right.
00:48:39
Speaker
for her to have to be in a position where she's like, if you don't go and kill him, he will hunt me no matter where I go. I just was like, man, first of all, she shouldn't even be having to have to say this to him because he fucking ruined her life.
00:49:02
Speaker
And like, you know, he definitely did not think through the fact that when she said, I've hidden away all of my money that she had hidden away in the bookstore. But I was like, obviously, that's where it is, because no one goes to the bookstore. What better place to hide money than that? And so like, you know, Butcho owns everything in town, including the bank. So if you're trying to get away from Butcho, you probably want to put your money in the bank.
00:49:31
Speaker
Right. And so like, you know, it's kind of absurd that like she even had like he should have just been willing to kill home dude. And this was before I knew he was the brother. This is like what I was thinking leading up to that being his brother. And so like the fact that, you know,
00:49:51
Speaker
He ended up killing her, killing Butcho and like avenging her honor, so to speak. But then he like tries to do the thing where he's like, I'm just a lone cowboy. I'm just a rebel Dottie and like tries to like walk out on her or whatever. And then she's like, actually, no, I'm not I'm not going to let that happen. Like that was kind of like. Charming in a way.
00:50:20
Speaker
I think it did create a balance with him because yeah, because he is an emotionally stunted character, right? For sure, for sure. And like, I get it. Like if someone killed my girlfriend, I probably would be a little emotionally stunted as well. Yeah. But yeah, in a sense, she is she has to push him to grow up. Right. And also, like, I got the impression more than a few times
00:50:48
Speaker
that there was some scene or storyline that might have gotten cut out that involved children getting killed as a result of Butch's actions. Oh really? Okay. Yeah, because there was more than a few times where like the sound of children laughing was noticeably higher in the mix. Okay.
00:51:09
Speaker
And it seemed always to be around those moments where he was having some kind of more tender interaction with the little boy.
00:51:20
Speaker
Or when Butcho was talking shit to the little kid. And so I have this idea in my head that part of his trauma is not just from the loss of his lover, but possibly from this idea that everyone is a victim in this guy's world. Butcho will
00:51:47
Speaker
and keep victimizing for the sake of his money. And so it gave him sort of like a, for me, a slightly deeper like vigilante kind of feeling, you know, like he did have a purpose that was higher than him, that was like,
00:52:06
Speaker
more than just revenge? I don't know. Definitely. I mean, he's also been traveling through all these towns, killing all of Butchow's henchmen. So he's steeped at this point in the excesses of Butchow's whole enterprise, right? Right. And it's very palpable to him the effects that Butchow has had. Butchow and Butchow's henchmen and lieutenants have had in all these communities.
00:52:31
Speaker
I just have to say we have to go back to that first like fight scene where he's doing this like Slapping the bullets Yeah, just I don't know it just popped in my mind and like he's just like
00:52:53
Speaker
There's all these fucking artistic, dancy flourishes that they do that don't make any sense. And there's like, just such a gratuitous amount of shooting and wasting the bullets all the time. Oh my God. How is that even possible?
00:53:10
Speaker
Yeah, I just have the phrase stop shooting question mark written just stop shooting. Literally. There was a fact that I saw online that apparently he shot his shotgun got shot five times without reloading when it could only carry two shots. Oh, yeah.
00:53:30
Speaker
Um, I did particularly enjoy the, the like, the like tag game of empty guns. Yeah. Well, that, that was such a funny thing. And that, that was a Rodriguez's second AD, I guess. Yeah. Um.
00:53:45
Speaker
Yeah, there's, that's the guy who's like in the back room and he comes out and El Mariachi has already cleared up, he's like killed everyone else more or less. Right. And they're just like trying to shoot at each other and then they just like run out of bullets. And like, it's very funny in my opinion to have like, as we just mentioned, like a scene where there's a gratuitous amount of shooting going on and a huge waste of bullets.
00:54:10
Speaker
And then there is like a two minute shootout with empty guns where they're just shooting empty guns at each other. Yeah. This is all. Go ahead. Oh, it's just like that tongue. Again, it's like that tongue in cheek acknowledgement that like I know that this is absurd. So like let's just turn the absurdity up a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. This is also and he and he eventually dispatches that guy by breaking his neck. This is the period of time
00:54:36
Speaker
You know, breaking people's necks was a cool thing. That was like a total thing back then. It really was. There's a neck breaking motif in Assassins also.
00:54:46
Speaker
Oh, interesting. And I always used to think like, like breaking necks back then was almost it was up there with like quicksand and shit like that. Just like a sort of like a theoretical thing that like, oh, just break his neck. No big deal. You know, yeah, I went to EMT school and I learned what happens when you die from a broken neck. And it's not really as cool as it seems to be in the movies. It's really hard. I don't think you could just be like, you know,
00:55:15
Speaker
you know, insouciantly just like fucking spin the hands around the face and just...
00:55:20
Speaker
Yeah. Whoopsie daisy, there you go. And also, when you dive a broken neck, it's not like you just die immediately. What happens is it's almost like having a stroke in your brain stem. It just discombobulates your brain from your body. And then all of your veins open up, so your blood pressure drops. And you just die pretty much just drowned to death.
00:55:48
Speaker
in your own blood, you're completely fully awake and you're just there trying to move, can't move, neck is broken, drowning in your own blood because your blood is just moving into your lungs because your heart no longer has the pressure to pump it up. I might've gotten that wrong, but that's kind of my impression of how you actually die from a broken neck.
00:56:08
Speaker
So I am a white woman who listens to murder podcasts and there was a case where like this fucking piece of shit asshole kid just like attempted to break someone's neck multiple times.
00:56:26
Speaker
And I'm sorry, he wasn't a kid. He was like 32 or something, which is even worse and just like couldn't do it. And like the failed attempts at breaking this girl's neck is eventually what saved her life and got him caught.
00:56:46
Speaker
Jesus. This is what I'm saying. This is just something that's in our mindset of our generation. We're like, yeah, just break their neck. It'll be easy. And it is fucking not. Let me tell you from my professional experience, there's a lot of tough ass muscles in the neck that can make it really hard to do that. Can we just really quickly touch on the juxtaposition of the El Mariachi bucho sex scenes? Wait, is there a bucho sex scene? Oh, yeah, there are, totally.
00:57:17
Speaker
Okay, so I was just like- Can I tell you this thing I wrote? Yes. I wrote the phrase, hot chin sucking. In Salma Hayek in El Mariachi or in Busho? No, Salma Hayek is sucking Antonio Medeiros' chin. It's really, I don't think I even noticed the chin. It goes on just as long as anything else in that sex scene and it's- Wild. That made me feel uncomfortable.
00:57:45
Speaker
Yeah, justifiably so. What made me feel uncomfortable is that apparently that woman was just dry humping boot show with chaps on because that lingerie had a crotch. Was she just like dry humping herself to orgasm or was she just
00:58:05
Speaker
Like, what was that all about? Were we supposed to see that crotch shot? Were we supposed to believe that they were actually fucking like, what was going on there? Because it was that was so stupid and ridiculously unnecessary.
00:58:22
Speaker
Yeah, that was like one of them little darlings that you definitely need to murder. I get what he's doing with that where he's, the scene for the listeners, if you haven't watched it for some reason, don't know why you would be listening to this if you haven't watched it, but you just want to hear his complaint about San Diego. And not today, fuckers. Not today, fuckers. There's still time actually. But yeah, it's a scene where
00:58:49
Speaker
the view is from like across the room towards the bed. It's like a little bit, maybe a couple of feet above the bed as an angle and, and just down and Bucho is lying on his back and there's a woman who's writing him and she's coming in theory and he's smoking a cigar and then she like bends over to kiss him and he just blows cigar smoke into her mouth. Correct? Yes. Yeah. She like, she like gets off in quotation marks and then like,
00:59:19
Speaker
goes in for the like post-coital kiss and then he just blows smoke into her mouth and she like chokes it out and then just like fucking gives him a yeah and then yeah and then leaves and I'm just like
00:59:35
Speaker
Like, obviously, like, the juxtaposition is that these two men are polar opposites. One is full of passion. One is full of nothing. Like, you know, in like maybe the whole, like, the whole, like, gimmick of it is that, like, his life is so empty that even his sex is fake, you know? Oh, yeah. I guess that was just, you know, it always stuck out to me as like, oh, I don't think, like,
01:00:03
Speaker
there's actually a P in the V situation in the scene. And so I guess this time around I was like, I'm just gonna pretend that there is penetration, but maybe you're right. Maybe it's purposely like she's just as like dry humping him and pretending to come. And then he assaults her by blowing smoke in her mouth. Yeah, it's like all performative. Yeah, it was icky. It's a very icky scene. Maybe it's okay.
01:00:31
Speaker
It's fine if it was intended to be this performative juxtaposition of life versus death. This is what life and living looks like with the tender guitar scene. Honestly, I wish that the fucking had never happened and that that adorable guitar scene had just happened, the whole scene. Maybe they did some kissing and then it cut to
01:01:00
Speaker
the like scene with bucho honestly like i think that the film would have been better for that wait you're saying it would have been better like you know how selma hayek is like yeah i got this guitar for you and he was like i can't play it anymore and she's like i'll help you
01:01:18
Speaker
I wish that that with them cuddling and her holding one end of the guitar and him holding the other end of the guitar had just been where the intimacy scene had ended. And then they cut to this absurd cowgirl chaps lingerie wearing lieutenant writing the fucking drug lord. You know what I mean? I see.
01:01:43
Speaker
It's like the same issue I have with fucking the end of Last Jedi or the end of Rise of Skywalker when fucking Rey and Kylo Ren kiss. It was fucking unnecessary. It didn't mean to happen. And it ruined it. The movie would have been better if the sex had been intimated and not shown.
01:02:11
Speaker
Yeah, I agree with you. I think that the sex scene between the main characters is gratuitous. I don't think that anyone in their right mind at that time would not have had a sex scene between Antonia Medeiros and Salma Hayek. It just was unavoidable. I liked it. I thought it was lit well. I thought it was a good sex scene and sexy as hell. Definitely, I was excited when I was 13 and watching it on VHS when my mom wasn't home, for sure.
01:02:40
Speaker
But yeah, yeah, it would have been nicer to not have it, I guess. I don't know. Like I don't love sex scenes in movies or they are can be a little gratuitous. Right. Do you think it would have been kind of interesting if it were a Pedro a mode of our movie, then the bucho sex scene would have been more intimate and tender in a way because it would have created like a whole new level of tension.
01:03:06
Speaker
Yeah, you have to spend a little bit more time dabbling with that, I think writing is but that would have made it kind of a different movie because this is really like, frankly, like a pornographic sort of like pulpy movie. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. It's not necessarily meant to have like that sort of depth.
01:03:24
Speaker
Right. That we're searching for and agonizing over in this podcast. True. We are always searching for depth that isn't there. I do really appreciate sandwich. Trevor just made me a sandwich. Nice.
01:03:42
Speaker
Nice sandwich. It's a nice sandwich. It's a little ham sandwich. I'm going to wait to eat it, though, because I don't want to eat on on the pod. But the the thing that one of the things that I loved that was like hilariously realistic was Selma Hayek's two different shoes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that whole scene. So Butchow is having sex with his his
01:04:10
Speaker
co-worker and then was smoking her mouth. And then he's like, El Mariachi is just at Carolina's bookstore. Like, where else can he be? Yeah, he like thought it through. He thought it through. Yeah. He's like, where else could she be? And also like the kid already knows. The kid knows that what El is, is with
01:04:30
Speaker
Catalina because he's he's like ask Catalina like everyone's a drug dealer here Yeah, it's funny that the kid knows but that Bucho and Bucho's whole enterprise can't figure out where he is I love this bit where he's like you see a stranger who has a gun you just fucking shoot him This is a very funny movie which is really is did you get a new tattoo? I did get a new tattoo
01:04:56
Speaker
I got a little spider commemorative tattoo with a heart in the center. I love it. And it's very itchy as well. I keep on touching it. Thank you. I've always wanted one of these, you know, I like these butch traditional tattoos. I've always wanted one of these ones and this is a good excuse. It was a really good excuse. I just like, I'm so obsessed with like the absurdity of it all.
01:05:19
Speaker
Yes, the the guitar case, machine guns and rocket launchers are absurd, like that. That's kind of a built in gimmick of being absurd. But like the little touches like the the the lead lieutenant, the captain, I guess, being like fucking blown out of the fireproof bulletproof car and then like crawling out, but putting his sunglasses on. Yeah. Yeah. Well, his name is Mabel. Yeah. Obsessed. Yeah.
01:05:49
Speaker
Just like so funny. Yeah, absolutely. So we like this movie.
01:05:54
Speaker
It's one last thing I have to say about it is the trope at the end. I love I love it. So it's like so stereotypical. It's used so many times. And every time it's used, I still think it's so funny of where they like throw away the thing that represents like the bad times, the gun, the case of guns, the money, the violence, whatever it is that represents that. And they go to drive away into the sunset and then they're like,
01:06:24
Speaker
And they're like, just in case. It's a long way to the next town. Yeah, I just like love those tropes. I think that they're when they're used right. And in this case, I think that it was used right. I think they're so funny. I think it's such a funny moment.
01:06:42
Speaker
Yeah, it totally works. I couldn't agree more. Yeah, it's so weird because this movie is so unrealistic and cheesy purposely, but it still works. It's just a lot of fun.
01:06:54
Speaker
Um, what is this? Oh, I didn't, I don't love the final fight scene. And it is, it kind of does serve as an appetizer for the eventual, the actual fight scene that got cut out, obviously to make the R rating, because it's a little silly. He calls up his friends, Kimo and Kampa.
01:07:15
Speaker
and they come down from wherever and like that that's kind of a fun scene when they're arriving because they're like one of them is just taking a bus with like two machine guns or whatever the other one's like got his rocket launcher everyone everyone has guns in guitar cases which i think even when i was 13 i was like okay give me a fucking break like
01:07:35
Speaker
Come on. What's really funny about this product, this project of looking at movies from 1995 is remembering how even back then, like I found some of the shit unbelievable and unrealistic.
01:07:50
Speaker
I think it just kind of speaks to the people that we became, you know? We were already, like, questioning the world, like, the fuck? That's right. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, Kimo and Kappa show up and they have this big battle. I love it because it's no like, they're like, I don't know, let's just go stand on a street and then the bad guys will show up and then we'll fight with them and then that's it. Mm hmm.
01:08:12
Speaker
And yeah, one of them, I forget, I believe it's Kampa has like two guitar cases that are machine guns. And he's just spraying bullets everywhere and shooting everyone. And then Kampa has like a fucking rocket launcher in a guitar case.
01:08:27
Speaker
Where are the rockets getting put into the rocket launcher? Couldn't tell you. Couldn't tell you. And that was so cheesy. Like that was that was probably one of the worst visual effects of this whole movie was watching the rockets come out of the thing. And like they must have done it in slow motion, but you can see the rocket come out, which would be unrealistic. And it's like slow and kind of like bounces up and down as it goes. And then like the shit just blows up. My favorite moment was that they had
01:08:57
Speaker
So there were two things that I noticed as far as the props were concerned. They had cut out a little hole in the side of the machine gun so that the shells could actually try to escape. Yeah. Yeah, they had to. Which I thought was hilarious. Yeah. But then there's just a split second shot through the rocket launcher where you can actually just see that it's just a tube all the way through. Totally. And probably a rocket on a cable, I would imagine, is kind of what it looked like.
01:09:27
Speaker
Also, I saw a behind the scenes shot of like when they're blocking the first like gun battle scene in the bar and the Tarasco bar and they're blocking there because he just used like a video camera to kind of storyboard everything. Yeah. And Amayachi is carrying a pink purse instead of a, instead of a guitar case. Incredible. Like Antonio Banderas is just carrying like a pink purse, which is like really like putting it down in this very like meaningful way.
01:09:53
Speaker
I'm obsessed. I love that so much. They're like, it's just a guitar and everybody's like, oh cool. And there's a fake guitar veneer that's just sitting there and like accidentally opens up and it's a fucking like a dick gun and grenades and shit.
01:10:12
Speaker
Apparently the dick gun was supposed to have a much, um, a much stronger presence in the film, but those scenes got cut out. And I think for the better, I think that it was funny as like a little one, one moment prop, but I don't think I would think it was, I would just be like, this is the, now we've gone too far.
01:10:33
Speaker
Okay, you think that's too far, huh? The dick gun is where I think it would have gone too far. I mean, the dick gun plays a cool role in From Dust Till Dawn, which comes out the next year. And it's funny because I believe it's the fucking dude from Lurks. Is it from Dust Till Dawn? And someone says something to him and his dick gun pops out.
01:10:57
Speaker
like all of a sudden really fast and then like goes back away. It's like he has a flap, the dick gun pops out and then goes back down again and it's sort of like a wordless sort of like don't fuck with me right now sort of move which is really fun and then he does shoot some fucking vampires with his dick gun.
01:11:12
Speaker
OK, I have 100 percent seen from dust. Hold on. That one, I definitely have seen. So I must have watched these two movies together because I have them sort of like linked in my head. But the was like, oh, fuck me. What was I? I don't remember. I was going to say it doesn't even matter. But yeah, it's like.
01:11:38
Speaker
Oh, I do remember what I was going to say. OK, so like, you know, this was clearly modeled off of like a spaghetti western, right? Like the Italian western styling. And so the kid playing the song that he taught him kind of wandering, he plays like that is a very specific role that the like music and spaghetti westerns usually played that was like
01:12:06
Speaker
Oh, you're in fucking trouble now, my dude, because the theme of the of the guy is getting played. Right. And, you know, they do a really interesting thing with that because the Mandalorian is also an homage to the spaghetti western.
01:12:27
Speaker
And the Mandalorian theme, you know, he doesn't have a name until like halfway through Book of Boba or at the end of season one when we find out that his name is Din Djarin, but he's just referred to as the Mandalorian.
01:12:41
Speaker
Antonio Banderas is just referred to as El Mariachi, you know, but they have this this oboe sound that's like, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo. And like, that is the same sort of function, like, oh, shit, there's like a new sheriff in town, like, fucking death is coming for you. And I just thought that that was like a really
01:13:06
Speaker
interesting way to kind of bring that sort of element in was through like this just kid that was just walking around with a guitar all the time. Right. Absolutely. And the other Easter egg with that is that so
01:13:24
Speaker
El Mariachi teaches that song to the kid, right? And when the kid plays it in front of Bucho, in front of the bar, Bucho's like, the fuck? Because it's the song that his little brother used to play when he was a kid.
01:13:38
Speaker
Yeah, it is. It totally is. I got I just got shivers. I just got shivers talking about it. I a little bit also did. He is like that. Smart, smart. It's really good. It's a really. Yeah, it's a really good, subtle thing that the average 1995 viewer might not have like been looking for. You know, they might have just been like, cool guns.
01:14:03
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't, I didn't notice it till that I loved one more thing. I just have the phrase the bitchy Chicana, which is just like
01:14:12
Speaker
These fucking, like, ostensibly American girls with cowboy hats. Or like, uh, excuse me. Like, where's our waiter? Is our waiter still in the bathroom? Like, he's been there forever. And like, I never realized, because you're not looking at them the first time you see this movie. You're like, oh, these are just like annoying white girls. But like, specifically the ringleader looks like she's Mexican American.
01:14:34
Speaker
Yes. She looks like she looks like she's bringing her white girlfriends to Mexico to show them a good time and kind of allordated over the Mexicans. Yeah. And then also like the white kids that like try to go to the bar and like which was like, can't you see we're fucking close?
01:14:53
Speaker
And it's like it is sort of that whole like kind of thing of like stupid white tourists in Mexico. Yeah. That is that is an aspect of this real this real issue is like
01:15:09
Speaker
Stupid white tourists were getting killed in Mexico in the 90s because they were going to cartel towns because they thought it was cool to go to Mexico and be in places that felt like dangerous or what the fuck ever was there thinking but like teenagers crossing the border from Texas to go to Mexico being fucking idiots. That's right. Like literally, you know, and that is another part of it that like
01:15:35
Speaker
It is a commentary, but it's a really tongue-in-cheek one, so it only is noticeable in, I feel like, in retrospect. Yeah, absolutely. As we're older, with some more perspective under our belts. Yes.
01:15:51
Speaker
Alright, should we rate this fucker? Yeah, let's do it. Alright, enjoyability. Yeah, fucking right up there. 485, 490, somewhere in that realm, let's go with 493, I'll do. It was really fun. It was very enjoyable. I, you know, I feel like it was the pace of it was so fast that I didn't really have a lot of time to overthink how, like,
01:16:15
Speaker
fucking dumb the like damsel in distress trope is. But I feel like that's like, I'm always gonna think that that's fucking dumb. And quite frankly, she wasn't in fucking distress before he showed up. She was living her fucking life.
01:16:30
Speaker
Yeah, she wasn't really, he was more of a damsel than she was, I would say. Right. Because he's always getting fucked up, because he's kind of dumb. And she's always kind of saving him. And then like, yeah, he only really has, he only has to like, come to terms with like, his effect on the world. Right.
01:16:53
Speaker
when he causes her bookstore to get burned down and then like neglects to remedy the situation in a way that will maintain her safety, right? Right, right. Also, I just remembered something that this kind of goes to veracity. Do you see that? I just wrote the word eye roll. Yes, literally. Who the fuck was Buccio talking to on the phone? Who sent Danny Trejo? That is...
01:17:21
Speaker
the Colombians. Yes, the Colombians, but like who are the, so like, okay, so that phone call, that phone call was what got me to think that the reason why El Mariachi was not going to kill Buko was because I thought that he realized that that wasn't, that wasn't who he was seeking revenge on, that he had, that he hadn't hit the top. Yeah.
01:17:49
Speaker
I didn't so like that's how like the brother got me but like also like how would they have not figured out who the other person is like at least buco like he's supposed to be like a cartel leader with the fucking Colombian cartel in Mexico and he doesn't know who the fuck this like mystery man is traveling with a fucking suitcase and he doesn't know that he killed like he like his lieutenant killed his brother's girl like
01:18:15
Speaker
Come on. I'm giving it a 179. For veracity. Well, it was pre-cell phone, but. Come on. Come on. 179. OK. Yeah, I got that.
01:18:29
Speaker
Yes, absolutely 500. Totally. I was in it. Yeah. I would definitely do revival theater for this one. It would be really, really cool to see like any of the cast come and talk about it.
01:18:48
Speaker
But like a trilogy would be super rad. Oh cool. Yeah, especially like if Robert Rodriguez was gonna like have something like before after like talking about like the process and everything and like what he was like His thoughts on it then and now and all that kind of stuff. That would be really really cool. Um
01:19:09
Speaker
I don't know if I would just casually throw it on anything, mostly because it kind of felt like one of those movies that I only really needed to watch one time on purpose. If I'm hanging out at Tower Bar in San Diego, I would have Christina put it on, and that background would be really fun. Oh, that's a good category. Throw it on at a bar? Yeah. Not bad.
01:19:37
Speaker
But I would definitely drunk by myself, make my wife watch it with me in the middle of the night. That would definitely be like my move. Baby, you gotta watch this. We gotta watch this. You gotta do this. You gotta do it. And we're gonna do this this season for sure, because it's one of my favorites of all time. But usual suspects, I've definitely been like, oh, you just gotta watch it. Do you see? Do you see? Do you see how good it is?
01:20:05
Speaker
Incredible. That always happens, for sure. Are we gonna do, I just can't? Yeah, let's do a quick one. Gosh, we just have so much to talk about all the time. Could be three movies, could be one movie, we're gonna spend two hours no matter what.
01:20:19
Speaker
I mean, that's just how it is. Okay. Okay. Now is the time for our optional segment. I just can't. So you did, you just, you're a busy person. You just didn't have time to really watch the assassins. And I was like, fuck it. Who cares? Like, yeah. So I guess the way we could do this is I can start with like,
01:20:38
Speaker
telling you who's in this movie. And you could take it from there. Maybe next time we do this, we'll have a better way of doing this. But yeah, okay. Assassins is a Richard Donner film. Fuck, I didn't even do any research about this movie, but Richard Donner, I think he's also Cliffhanger. I think is who Richard Donner is. Written by the Wachowskis. So this is kind of right before, not right before, but when The Matrix comes out,
01:21:08
Speaker
What? The little known, the little known what couch, what couch, how do you say it? Wachowski. Wachowski siblings. You know, never, never heard of before. Nobody, nobody knows from a, from a, from a, from a little known movie. Um, the matrix, some other fucking matrix.
01:21:28
Speaker
Okay, so this is the Wachowski's pre-matrix, okay? Correct. And it's directed by a director who's famous for making sort of, like... Let me pull... Oh, oh. So he's like...
01:21:48
Speaker
Superman, you know, Christopher Reeve's Superman. Okay. Superman 2. So kind of like big fuck off blockbusters. Blockbuster movies. Did he do, was he, was this around the same time that the fugitive was made? Uh, fugitive is later, but okay. So he did he do the fugitive? I don't know that he did. Okay. He did lead the weapon. Okay. So,
01:22:16
Speaker
He's been around since the early 60s. Okay. As a director, Superman is kind of like the Omen 76, some stuff that we wouldn't recognize, but stuff that we would know the Goonies in 1985.
01:22:31
Speaker
Um, Lady Hawk. Don't know what that is. Oh, that is a fucking great movie. Lady Hawk. Yeah. Yes. It is a, it is a fantasy film about a lady who turns into a hawk. She's a fucking sorceress. It's a shell fighter, huh?
01:22:49
Speaker
Yeah, really. She's the she's Lady Hawk. OK, spoiler alert. He does all the lethal weapons. He has Maverick 1994, you know, a little Will Smith action. No, excuse me. It is Maverick is the one with Mel Gibson, Joni Foster, James Garner. OK, OK.
01:23:11
Speaker
uh, my mama, uh, assassins in 95, lethal weapon four, tales from the crypt, uh, I don't know, a bunch of weird shit. That's kind of it, I guess, for him for 2006. Okay. He stopped, he, he stops in 2006. So he's got quite a long career. Okay. Did a bunch of TV. All right. Okay. Assassins, um, starring, um, Sylvester Stallone, Antonio Banderas, which is why I chose this movie. Also, I watched this at this time and my thought was, uh,
01:23:42
Speaker
I really wanted another Antonio Banderas movie because I had such a fun time with him in Desperado and I really wanted another one and I was like, okay, not quite as much. And the third star is Julianne Moore, a young Julianne Moore. This comes out October 6th, which is a day after my wedding anniversary. Okay, so it's starring Antonio Banderas, Sylvester Stallone, and a young Juliet Moore. It's called The Assassins. Is it about
01:24:14
Speaker
An undercover CIA agent in South America is killed and then Sly Stallone and Juliet Moore have to band together to try to uncover the plot of the murder. No, not at all. How long were we supposed to do this for? How many guesses do I get?
01:24:38
Speaker
Maybe every time you do one wrong, I'll give you another hint.
Unraveling the Plot of Assassins
01:24:46
Speaker
This is also a movie about people who need to make a career change, similar to Desperado.
01:24:57
Speaker
Everyone's career changes are just not working for them. Like, Sama Hayek's bookstore is not working. El Mariachi needs to kind of move past the whole like just killing people thing. But Sliced Alone is an assassin. Okay. And Antonio Benders is also an assassin. Okay. Okay. Are they assassins that have been hired to assassinate each other?
01:25:25
Speaker
Uh, halfway, yes. So Vester Stallone hunting Antonio Banderas. No opposite because Sly Stallone is older. And Antonio is like trying to not trying to hunt him down. The it's this funny circular thing where Sly is has been working with the same handler for a long time. OK.
01:25:54
Speaker
And it's a funny fucking Matrix Wachowski's thing, where he only talks to his handler over the internet, over through a laptop, through an Apple laptop, like green fucking screen, that sort of shit. And he's always cursing at the person on the computer, and they're like, that's no way to talk to a lady, ha, ha, ha. And the first problem is that he's going to do a hit, and Antonio Banderas snakes his hit, pretty much.
01:26:24
Speaker
Okay, so is his handler, Julia Moore, and is she also Antonio Banderas's handler? No. On both counts? No, on both counts. It is true that Antonio's handler is the same person's sliced lens handler. But it's not Julia Moore. But it's not Julianne Moore. Okay, so is she the hit?
01:26:50
Speaker
Like is she like, is she like the final, like are they both hunting her? Yes, she is the damsel as well as the mark that they're going for. And she is a hacker. Ah, okay, incredible. Absolutely fantastic. Hey, she's a female hacker. That's fucking, that's pretty good actually.
01:27:14
Speaker
I mean, except for the whole female hacker's trope of the 90s, known as Angelina Jolie. Known as my mom, my childhood. My mom was a computer engineer.
01:27:27
Speaker
Okay, so she steals government secrets and then meets Antonio Banderas while he's trying to follow her. And he discovers that there's some kind of a conspiracy because now he's being hunted also by another assassin who's trying to kill him and his mark.
01:27:55
Speaker
And so they band together to uncover this secret government plot. I still think there's a secret government plot involved. Um, I don't think, uh, there is actually kind of a secret government plot.
Assassins: Themes of Career Change and Loneliness
01:28:08
Speaker
So she, hold on. Let me just say it. I just can't figure it out. I just can't. I just can't. You quit. You just want to hear it. I mean, I just, I don't, I, I don't,
01:28:22
Speaker
Like, I think I know it, but I don't think I'm going to be able to, like, dance around it, basically. Well, this is this is kind of a fun game. We can we can narrow this down. But so she. So sliced alone is just like on forty seven. I'm a hot, like assassin guy. He's kind of like Robert De Niro in heat, which I believe we will also see this year in the season. Uh-huh. Also a Danny Trejo. It's going to be a blast. That's one of the fucking best of all time.
01:28:54
Speaker
Whereas Robert De Niro, I don't know if you've ever seen that movie, it's like this sort of career criminal. He's in his fucking 50s. He's solid, handsome. It's kind of hot in an old guy sort of way. Meets a normal civilian woman and the trouble is them trying to do their thing, connect with each other. Where is they coming from? Completely different worlds.
01:29:16
Speaker
Not quite as disparate in this movie because she is a hacker. She is like, I don't know, I'll read the fucking quote. She's like, she connects with Sly Stallone, not Antonio Banderas. Yes. Oh, boring. She gets damseled with him. You know what, though? I would. Yes. And it could maybe be a lot sexier if the roles were switched and that would make a lot more sense because Sly Stallone. I don't know. I don't know if he ever does fucking villains, but
01:29:44
Speaker
I don't think he ever does villains. He probably has like some contractual agreement that says that he's never the bad guy. Yeah, exactly. Like The Rock like never gets beat up ever. But yeah, it's something like that. But no, he's just like sliced alone is just like a fucking working class or like assassin does his job. He he plays a warm, you know, responsible, like emotionally responsible, communicative assassin that is supposed to kill this woman.
01:30:14
Speaker
AB snakes his his shot. She is she has a disc that has information that she stole from the internet. It's hyper encrypted. So it's not like she doesn't know what's on it. No one knows what's on it. She's selling it to a bunch of Danish dudes. Or Dutch she saw it to a bunch of Dutch dudes and I was like, Hell yeah, Dutch villains love it. I love Dutch and German villains from the 90s. That's always really fun. Who turns out that the
01:30:44
Speaker
Dutch guys are actually Interpol. And I think what's on this disc is that it's just like a bunch of information about, oh, I think what it is, it's a bunch of information about all these like assassins that work in a loose way for the government or multiple governments or something. It's their fucking code list.
Comparing Assassins to Atomic Blonde
01:31:10
Speaker
It's the knock list. It's the knock list for Mission Impossible.
01:31:13
Speaker
And also from Atomic Blonde, which is a banger of a spy film. Dude, every time on Delta, I have to watch Atomic Blonde. Oh my god, it's such- I don't care. It's so good. It's such a fucking good movie. The soundtrack is so good. So what you're telling me is that The Assassins is no Atomic Blonde.
01:31:36
Speaker
Oh, no way. No way at all. It's so fucking cheesy. You said it was really long. As long as fuck. It's like over two hours. I was like, God, you know, it should be a it should be a TV series, in my opinion. Like that would have been that would have made more sense. That would have been much more fun because there's a lot going on and I get it. And I think they just wanted to squeeze it all into one little movie.
01:31:58
Speaker
Yeah. But pretty much like AB goes in, he kills all the Dutch guys. He's trying to hunt down Julianne Moore. Julianne Moore also brought her cat to the handoff. What? Why?
01:32:18
Speaker
She brings her cat, Pearl, who's a gigantic fluffy cat, and she also makes the Dutch guys give her money in a remote control car that goes to the AC system. And she's just a fucking dumbass hacker who doesn't know anything. She's like the audience surrogate character, even though she's still like a career criminal. Yeah.
01:32:44
Speaker
It's like, he's trying to kill her, and then A.B. is trying to kill, like Sly Stallone's trying to kill her, A.B.'s trying to kill her, and then Sly Stallone like takes care of her, and they're running around, and it's sort of like, it's got, it's that 12 Monkeys thing where it's like, this fucking Wacko's taking over my life, but I'm just gonna go with it, I guess. Yeah. And, but like, I'm truly afraid. Yeah, and there's lots of fucking dumb fight scenes. Let me pull out my notes.
01:33:14
Speaker
And I will never watch it again. Good to know. AB again, there again is just like fucking everything in sight. Like he's kind of queer coded in a way, which is I get it because it's the Wachowskis. But he's like extra. He's like.
01:33:35
Speaker
Desperado's character, but like slimier and sexier and slightly gayer. Slightly more loosey goosey with his sexual orientation. Listen to this fucking quote. The process of making assassins the suspenseless 1995 thriller.
Film Reflections and Industry Insights
01:33:54
Speaker
Yeah.
01:33:58
Speaker
Sly's name is Wrath, and Banderas's name is Bane, and Julianne Moore's name is Electra. Incredible. Terrible. I just have this quote that says, haha, sell your info to the Dutch, which is just really funny. It's like, I mean, come on.
01:34:21
Speaker
Absolutely fantastic. They're like, okay, you got to go kill this woman. And he's like, cool, what you look like? They're like, don't know. They're like, what's he's like, what's her name? And she's like, they're like, I don't know. All we have is this in quotes, all we have is her internet logo. And it's just the face of a cat. Because she's like a cat lady. Yeah. Apparently, this movie was bankrolled by Dino de Laurentiis. Yeah.
01:34:45
Speaker
who is infamous for taking something that has potential and fucking grinding it into the dirt. That's right. A la Dune. Oh, did he fuck up Dune? He took it away from Jodorowsky and gave it to Lynch and ruined it forever. Yeah. Well, I mean, Jodorowsky never actually had it. He had just been like planning on making it forever. And then De Laurentiis was like kind of in conversation with him. And then they just like decided to go with David Lynch.
01:35:12
Speaker
But Jodorowsky put it all together. He created the whole production design and the production team. My understanding is that he had done that before he was in talks about actually making it. Oh, really? Oh, I thought so. He had been building the world of Dune since the 70s. Oh, interesting. Yeah.
01:35:35
Speaker
Oh, my understanding, did you see that documentary about it? I watched it one time, and I think I was drinking, so I don't really remember very much. I'll rewatch it, because I do love Yodorowsky, and I do love you, so I should rewatch it. It's definitely an interesting watch. Now, my understanding is that he was on, signed up to do it, and that's why he spent a couple years. Right.
01:35:55
Speaker
like including making his son do martial arts every day for like two years, which is like you shouldn't do to a child. Right. To be like to be crazy apologies. Right. And then like he just got so far into the weeds with the production design. Yeah. They were like, you're too insane. We just can't like we can't have you be like a mainstream American director. You're too insane.
01:36:19
Speaker
So they gave it to David Lynch. I don't know. I don't like that first tune at all. I don't think it's fun. It's not that great. I liked it for what it was, although it has been very much overshadowed by Villeneuve. How do you say his last name?
01:36:39
Speaker
Villeneuve. Villeneuve? Yeah, I believe. It's absolutely incredible. But that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about a movie that is not that incredible.
Humorous Critiques and Plot Twists in Assassins
01:36:49
Speaker
Called Assassins. I can just go through my notes. I don't know. Yeah, hit it.
01:36:57
Speaker
Oh, holding two guns at once is not practical. So like, AB has this thing where he like runs around with like, two guns at the same time. And I'm like, you just can't shoot two guns at the same time. It's just like, your eyes are in the front of your head. Yeah, yeah, that was a that was a popular motif in Desperado as well. That's right. But at least he was slapping the bullets out of the gun, which is like,
01:37:21
Speaker
extra sass points for that indeed indeed yeah just like Evan Oates says like bringing a cat to a heist is very silly that's so stupid yeah I mean these movies are about career career transitions loneliness that sort of thing so the first scene that opens up with assassins is
01:37:47
Speaker
It's black and white, it's this weird film noir thing. And Sly is in the window of a hotel and he shoots someone from across the square. And it turns out, now that you have enough backstory sort of in this movie, the person he killed in the first part of the movie is this man named Nikolai. And Nikolai was his mentor, who was also an assassin. And
01:38:13
Speaker
A, B has been following Sly Stallone's career and even gets the same guns as him. He really looks up to him. And so obviously now it's his time to kill Sly and he just really wants to. He just really wants to because it'll just really make his career. If he can kill the best, then he will be the best, right?
01:38:33
Speaker
Yeah, I guess. And he's also in touch with Sly's handler, who turns out is Nikolai all along. He didn't actually kill Nikolai. Nikolai survived and has been just turned into Sly Stillen's boss for like the next 15 years.
01:38:51
Speaker
Ooh, what a twist. And then you find this out at the very end of the movie. So like there's this crazy fucked up scene where like Antonio Banderas just like they're in this abandoned burned down hotel and they're just running around shooting at each other and A.B. just keeps on crashing through like doors and buildings and off of like it's like John Wick level just like falling through shit. And and all of a sudden they're like, yeah, Sly's like, I'm going to kill you. And then
01:39:20
Speaker
He gets halted by, who is it? All of a sudden, Nikolai out of the shadows. I've been alive all along. I've been your handler. I've been your boss. You didn't kill me. Why? Who fucking knows? What's the point of any of this? This movie's so fucking dumb. Apparently Antonio Banderas is in another assassin-themed film called Codename Banshee? Oh, from this year?
01:39:50
Speaker
From 2022, yeah. And it is called Les Assassins in French. Oh, interesting. Well, he's also in a movie. Like just shortly after this one, it's called something like ballistic colon X versus sever. 2002 action thriller, and he's also an assassin with Lucy Liu.
01:40:16
Speaker
No, thank you. It's like, OK, I wrote this fucking thing, but I just could not think of any good names for the characters. And they're like, do you want to hire someone to do that? You can probably hire someone to think of good names. And you're like, uh, one's going to be called X, E-C-K-S. And the other one's like Sever, I guess, like S-E-V-E-R, like Sever. So stupid. Hate it. It's kind of fun. Actually kind of fun.
01:40:45
Speaker
No. Um, yeah. So I'm not mad that I didn't watch that. Not gonna lie.
01:40:51
Speaker
Let me read this quote from Assassin's, from Julianne Moore. You're sorry you let me have the gun? You think it was a mistake? You think I'm scared? I don't know, you don't know shit about me. Shut up. Today was supposed to be a really good day. Payday, 40 grand. I was going to buy Pearl boyfriend and now two people are dead. I'm in way over my head, mister, and I want out. Look, I don't have a social security number. I don't have a driver's license. I can barely remember my real name.
01:41:18
Speaker
I'm a ghost. I'm nobody. I'll just disappear. I just want my life back. That's all I want. It's it's kind of hard because Julianne Moore is fucking good. Like, yeah, she's a good actress. And arguably, she is a good fucking performer. And the writing in this movie is so stupid. And the directing is so stupid. And it just
01:41:38
Speaker
It creates like an internal conflict because you're like, fuck, you're so good. And she's kind of young. She's like at least in her early thirties in this movie. Also, there's a monorail motif, a Seattle monorail, because they go to they go to Seattle. That's not it for Assassins.
Podcast Wrap-Up: Humor and Audience Engagement
01:41:54
Speaker
Oh, boy. On a scale of one to five, am I glad I didn't watch that movie? Sounds like five. Yep, yep, yep.
01:42:07
Speaker
All right. Well, thank you for being here with us for another episode of We're Spending Time. Since you made it this far, you might as well comment, rate, subscribe, even if you are into that sort of thing. And in case you need to be reminded.
01:42:21
Speaker
Bartender says, young man, you've got a bed. The guy goes, OK, here we go. Here we go. Pulls out his thing. He's looking at the glass. He's thinking about the glass. He's thinking about the glass. Glass. He's thinking about the glass. Glass. Thinking about his dick. Dick. Glass. Dick. Glass. Dick. Glass. Dick. Glass. And then, whoosh, he lets it rip. And he's pissing all over the place, man. He's pissing on the bar.
01:42:44
Speaker
He's pissing on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender. He's pissing everywhere except the fucking glass, right? Okay. So the bartender is laughing his fucking ass off. He's $300 richer. He's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, piss dripping off his face. Ha, ha, ha, ha. He says, you fucking idiot, man. You got it in everything except the glass. You owe me $300, Punta. Guy goes.
01:43:08
Speaker
Excuse me just one little second. Goes in the back of the bar, in the back there's a couple of guys playing pool. It walks over to them, comes back to the bar and goes, here you go Mr. Bartender, 300.
01:43:19
Speaker
Bartender's like, what the fuck are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot. The guy says, well, I see those guys over there. I just bet them $500 a piece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on you. And not only would you not be mad about it, you'd be happy. So stupid. What are you looking for? Just my charger. You don't need to whisper. It's OK.
01:43:47
Speaker
I loved, that was, that was great. That was fantastic. That has to be the actual end. You have to just clip that in too. What are you looking for?