Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Bonus - The Creation of Monty and Van Twinkle Triumph Breath
16 Plays21 days ago
In this unhinged bonus episode, Jess and Ana take a quiz to discover their cryptid spirit animals, serving pure chaos and laughs while giving listeners a sneak peek at the kind of exclusive Patreon content coming your way in the next few months.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Episode Setup
00:00:00
Speaker
but Who needs to record a podcast? It's not like that's important. You're killing me. Could you imagine if we got through the whole thing and then I was like, oh we didn't record. could easily imagine that, yes.
00:00:14
Speaker
Because it almost just happened. Okay.
00:00:19
Speaker
All right. Hey, everyone. I'm Jess. And I'm Anna. And you're listening to Beneath the Evergreens Patreon slash bonus episode.
Quiz Introduction and Mechanics
00:00:31
Speaker
you you um So I'm really excited because today we're going to do a quiz. um You're going to learn a little bit about Anna and myself and it's going to be really fun.
00:00:42
Speaker
Let's do it. Let's do it. Okay. So you chose the second quiz. Yes. And the second quiz is what cryptid are you? So science can't explain you, but vibes can.
00:00:57
Speaker
Full disclosure, I got this off of chat GBT, so i don't know how great it's going to be.
00:01:03
Speaker
Okay. But how this is going to go is I'm going ask a question and then I'm going to read five answers, A through E, and then you pick the one that best describes you. okay I haven't taken this quiz yet, so I don't know what I'm going to get. You don't know what you're going get, but I'm probably going to ask you some ridiculous follow-on questions because, you know, it's it's me.
00:01:21
Speaker
Let's do it. Okay, so question one.
Humorous Quiz Questions
00:01:23
Speaker
Someone claims that they saw you across the room. What actually happened? A. That was definitely me, but I was trying to leave unnoticed.
00:01:34
Speaker
B. Wrong person. I hate being perceived. C. I waved and disappeared immediately. D. I was there briefly and then gone for no reason at all.
00:01:47
Speaker
E. I've been seen in multiple places and refuse to clarify. These are some crazy answers. This is exactly what I was expecting from a chat GBT quiz.
00:02:02
Speaker
I kind of like it, though. I'm kind of kind of here for it. Do you want me to read them again? or do you have your answer? Yeah. I think I have it. The first one really spoke to me. um Did you write down like and likes A, B, or C? You got to do A, B, or c I think I'm to do this one.
00:02:19
Speaker
Okay. Next, pick your ideal cryptid habit. Oh. A, deep forest, no self-service. B, foggy road at night.
00:02:32
Speaker
C, lake that's way deeper than it needs to be. D, abandon town with one working light. That's creepy hell. wherever people are slightly uneasy. Ooh.
00:02:49
Speaker
So deep forest with no cell service. Okay. B, a foggy road at night. C, lake that's deeper than it needs to be. D, abandon town with one working light. Or E, wherever people are slightly uneasy.
00:03:04
Speaker
Okay. and I think have my answer. Also, if you're listening to this, you should play along too. And I'll read off what your answers mean at the end. Okay, three. How do you feel about being photographed?
00:03:17
Speaker
a please don't. B, only blurrofo- Jesus. B, only blurry photos exist of me. I'm sorry. I'm just miss of imagining only blurry photos of you, Jessie. There's nothing.
00:03:34
Speaker
Low-key, they probably know my mom. That's what I'm saying.
00:03:39
Speaker
Love you, mom, if you hear this. C, I vanish the second a camera comes out. D, I look normal until you zoom in. bump bump this e I'm caught on camera once every 20 years.
00:03:57
Speaker
I'm going to be honest. Dee really spoke to me because there was a point where Jessie had a photo of me that she zoomed in on.
00:04:07
Speaker
I was making the most ridiculous face. ah And then I made it my zoom background. Yes.
00:04:19
Speaker
Oh my God. I'm surprised I didn't get fired for that one. Did I ask you if I could do that or did I just do it?
00:04:28
Speaker
I feel like I probably just did it. I felt, yeah, probably. It was like a team meeting though. it wasn't like it was like in front of people that really like, were like it there were they were going to care. everybody yeah and It was like a goofy, it was a goofy thing.
00:04:40
Speaker
Yeah. I think I then put a photo of you as my background. Which was an awesome photo. I look like I had gastritis.
00:04:54
Speaker
Okay. Did you get your answer for number three? How do you feel about being photographed? Yes, I did. I certainly don't. Okay. um I'm to go. Okay. I'm all over the board as per usual. Okay. Number four, your cryptid calling card.
Cryptid Quiz Results and Discussion
00:05:09
Speaker
So a mysterious footprints. B, red glowing eyes.
00:05:15
Speaker
C, low humming slash a distant sound. D, sudden silence. e did anyone else see that? o
00:05:27
Speaker
That was a cool question. I like that one. That is a good question. Point one for ChadGBT. um Pick a cryptid personality trait. A, elusive.
00:05:37
Speaker
B, misunderstood. C, accidentally terrifying. D, mind my business energy. Or E, absolute mystery.
00:05:53
Speaker
All right. Okay. What's your reaction to humans? Avoid at all costs, which is A. B. Observe quietly.
00:06:04
Speaker
C. Mildly curious. D. Panic and flee. E. Appear once, then disappear forever.
00:06:16
Speaker
Ooh.
00:06:19
Speaker
Hmm.
00:06:21
Speaker
Okay. You got your answer? i do. Okay, so here's the results. I'll read them off and then Annie, you tell me the big result reveal. So if you get mostly A's, you're Bigfoot.
00:06:35
Speaker
If you're mostly B. Hold on. Let me see which ones I mostly. I'm like a wide array. Same.
00:06:44
Speaker
Okay. Okay, what are most of your most year answers? I'm mostly B. You're mostly B? I'm literally right in between. i got three E's and three C's.
00:06:56
Speaker
o Oh, I'm going to be a hybrid and I'll tell you what that hybrid is. Okay. Okay. So if you were mostly A's, you're Bigfoot. So you're private, misunderstood, and just try to live your life in peace.
00:07:08
Speaker
People project their nonsense onto you. You don't want that fame. You just want snacks and solitude, which low-key I feel like is actually me. So maybe I should just- I was just thinking the exact same thing. That sounds like the dream.
00:07:21
Speaker
i know Okay. If you're mostly bees, it's mos mothman.
00:07:30
Speaker
you do You do not ask to be a warning. You do not ask to be a warning. That's literally the sentence. Does that make sense? no You do not ask to be a warning.
00:07:41
Speaker
Okay. You show up. Everyone panics. Bridges collapse. No, it's not your fault. And then you vanish. Deeply symbolic. Emotionally exhausting.
00:07:54
Speaker
All right, Mothman. That was a wild... ChatGTBT, are you okay? I a little... That was wild. you're Mothman. I am Mothman.
00:08:07
Speaker
Everyone flees when I come into the room. And you do not ask to be a warning. I don't. I never have.
00:08:17
Speaker
I'm going to get you a bumper sticker that says that. Oh my God.
00:08:22
Speaker
All right. Mostly seeds. So this is part one of what I am. You surface rarely and dramatically. What's the cryptid? Oh, lake monster. That. Rawr.
00:08:37
Speaker
You surface rarely and dramatically. People argue about you constantly. You're calm. ancient and mostly unbothered, you disappear back into the depths the second things get weird.
00:08:52
Speaker
that's like That is almost you. Except i I think I surface when things get weird. That's when I'm like, hey. Hey, everyone. Which is crazy because, um okay, we're deviating. I'm so sorry. But not really because it's a bonus episode. So ah when I was a little kid, we were very poor.
00:09:13
Speaker
Well, not very poor, but we didn't have a lot of extra money. So my dad would record on our VHS player, which you probably had known nothing about, Anna. i i think I had VHSs for a bit. like a bit A bit. Okay. Okay. So you kind of get the struggle. Well, we had a v eight VHS player that would record...
00:09:31
Speaker
like what was on tv and so when there was you know a disney movie on tv and my dad would record it stop the recording when the commercials came on and then re-record well we had this one it was like sword in the stone and i used to love that movie which now looking back i'm like something definitely was wrong because that's the most boring movie out there but anyways there's like one part that i like it was mad madame mim and i wanted to be here so bad and that is the whole reason why watched that movie so why am i Why am I saying this? So after that ended, my dad happened to record half of an episode of Puff the Magic Dragon.
00:10:07
Speaker
ah And Puff the Magic Dragon lived by the sea. And I remember watching that first 10 minutes of the episode over and over, and it got right to where the plot point got really, really good. And then it just cut off. And then I i never finished the episode, so I have no idea what happened. But I do remember that I would make up my own storyline. And one of my storylines was that the little kid turned into Puff the Magic Dragon. They lived in the ocean together. Yeah. So moral of that story and why I took you on this plane trip around the country is because maybe that's why I'm a lake monster or part of a lake monster.
00:10:46
Speaker
Anyways.
00:10:50
Speaker
Okay. If you're mostly D's, ah you're a shadow figure. You're not flashy. You're unsettling. You don't roar. You linger. You thrive on silence and peripheral vision.
00:11:03
Speaker
i'm sorry, you don't roar, you linger. I'm just imagining like the guy that like doesn't take the hint at the party that like you're trying to like youre it's over. It's the Green River Killer. Actually, that's what
00:11:20
Speaker
you thrive on silence and peripheral vision, which how do you thrive on peripheral vision? That would give me such a bad headache.
00:11:29
Speaker
I don't know. Like I get it because you're like catching the corner of people's eye because you're like a shadow figure but don't know. You haunt vibes not places.
00:11:40
Speaker
What? You haunt vibes? all alright i don't I don't think chat GPT gets the concept of vibes but that's okay. um Okay and then E which actually is going to make me go. Okay so if you're mostly E's you're an unidentified cryptid.
00:11:57
Speaker
Which kind of tracks for me, so this is part two of what I am. You don't match any known legend. No rules apply to you. Witness accounts contradict each other. Experts are tired. You are an unsolved problem. ah
00:12:24
Speaker
I feel like that fits too much.
00:12:29
Speaker
um Okay, so maybe Chachi PT knows me better than I would like to admit. So I'm an unidentified lake cryptid. um And I'm okay with that. I love that trucks.
00:12:42
Speaker
Okay, so you're my mouth man. All right, where would you as moth man live? What's your ideal location?
00:12:54
Speaker
So be honest. I don't know much about Mothman. that was there Fuck,
Exploring Cryptid Identities and Lore
00:12:58
Speaker
Anna. No! what no thet over The podcast is over. Not only do you like Pepsi more than Diet Coke, but... I've been on a Coke Zero kick.
00:13:08
Speaker
I'm going to say. That's unacceptable. What was that? It's unacceptable. Coke Zero? That's what I said. Over Diet Coke? Are you kidding me? 100%.
00:13:19
Speaker
What? what
00:13:23
Speaker
This might just ruin our friendship. Podcast over. We're done. You straight up will choose a Diet Coke over a Coke Zero. 10 out of 10 times.
00:13:36
Speaker
Do you know how they say um Diet Coke is like fridge cigarettes? No, I've never heard that before. What? Why do I stumble across these things? Literally, or you literally there's like stickers and everything that say like it's like a pack of cigarettes, but it's like a refrigerator instead of an actual pack of cigarettes. And there's like little Diet Cokes popping up. And that really is Diet Coke to me. I feel like every once a while, I'm like, I know the cravings. And I'm like, i need a fucking Diet Coke. Like it's a whole thing.
00:14:06
Speaker
But the my dog is trying to attack me. I'm so sorry But the taste is so much better of a Coke Zero. Incorrect. It's because you like sweeter things more than bitter things. That's why you like Diet Pepsi more. I still have like a childlike palate.
00:14:21
Speaker
I love sweets. Okay. I guess I'll forgive you a little bit. Actually, you know I will forgive you because if you like Coke Zero and Diet Pepsi more, that just means there's more Diet Coke in the world for me. So I'm okay with that. I'll allow it. Take it all.
00:14:33
Speaker
I will all. love me a Coke Zero. That's crazy. But you're also the one that eats like mayo sandwiches. So shut up. That was what literally the only time in the last five years I've done that is when you fucking called me out on it. And you know what? It was one time too many.
00:14:53
Speaker
I'm
00:14:57
Speaker
i'm just kidding. Anna is the most the coolest person I know. That's the most untrue thing you've ever said to me. I just hit my chin on my neck. Did you see that? My husband called me cool once and I looked at him and I was like, I don't think you know me at all.
00:15:13
Speaker
You are cool. I'm not cool. Can I say what your hobby is? Yeah. You're a power lifter. That is so cool. Thank you. That's cool shit. Thank you. I collect weird shirts.
00:15:24
Speaker
this That's also, i mean, that's weird. like You're like a cool weird, Jessie. You know what I am? I'm an unidentified lake cryptid.
00:15:35
Speaker
Yes, you are. you still might answer my question of where you would live as Mothman. I told you I don't know much about Mothman. Okay, so... TLDR. To use what all the cool kids are saying. Can you please hang me right now? I we're too old to say that shit.
00:15:50
Speaker
Well, you especially. Everyone at work uses that way too much. And it makes me want to like throw myself out of my window. But anyways... um So essentially in West Virginia, it's West Virginia. Yeah. West Virginia in Pleasantville, Pleasanton, Pleasantville, something like that. um It was like 1967. This couple is in lover's lane. there're Sorry, DLDR and you're listing the year.
00:16:13
Speaker
ah Clearly, i don't know what that means. So this couple, I feel like the sixty s it makes sense because they're It's just the time of it all. Like, you think of blue font hair, like those weird dress. What the hell was that?
00:16:29
Speaker
I shivered. I'm cold. oh oh it's It is storming like a motherfucker out here. Like, the wind and the rain are so bad. It's pelting my window.
00:16:41
Speaker
Oh, it's not. Well, it's kind of raining here, but it's not like crazy like that. Sorry. I don't know. I thought you jumped really fast and I thought you saw something behind me because I've been having some weird, real so weird stuff, which will be another bonus episode. um So what was going to say?
00:16:58
Speaker
Oh, it's 1960s couple in lovers lane. They're getting their groove on. And then all of a sudden there's this like bang on the roof. They look out to see this massive monster. And then as they look a little closer, they, they see this like man with this big red eyes, but he has his massive wings. who So they quick climb into the front seat. They take off.
00:17:22
Speaker
Apparently they're going like 60 to 80 miles an hour. And this moth is keeping up with them. Oh shit. They slam on the brakes. I think then he like flies away or is like lurking in the trees, but eventually they like get out of there.
00:17:36
Speaker
And then I think it's like three or four days later, there's this bridge that connects one part of Pleasanton to like a different city or something like that. And apparently the Mothman came and did some like Harry Potter shit where he's like, you know, that scene of Harry Potter where there's like the Death Eaters and they're circling around the bridge and then the bridge cracks and breaks and everything. Essentially he does that.
00:17:57
Speaker
Oh. And now this whole, this whole town is all about math Mothman. Like they, They live live it, breathe it, eat it. It's Mothman. Interesting. Honestly, I feel like the hills of West Virginia are like West Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, that kind of area would be like the perfect place for a Mothman. For sure.
00:18:18
Speaker
There's some weird shit that happens in those small towns and i I can't. I feel like small towns over here just aren't quite as like
00:18:28
Speaker
Mothman habitable as they are on the East Coast. I don't know I feel like Appalachia just has this like already spooky vibe to it. And then when you think of vet West Virginia, you think of like, I don't know if I want to say this, but I think of overalls, bare feet, no shirt under the overalls.
00:18:48
Speaker
I think of like oldda playing in like a washboard. Yeah. I think we're all the same. Maybe ah maybe a straw hat. Yes. Like chewing on a piece of straw. Yeah. And like the best storytellers that there ever were. Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:03
Speaker
Like we're back in like the nineteen fifty s Like everyone's crowded around on like grandpa's porch listening to stories. For sure. That's what I'm make sure. But here in Washington, I don't feel like
00:19:16
Speaker
maybe in Eastern Washington, but not in Western Washington. I don't think we're, first of all, we're not friendly enough to like really make relationships like that. And then second of all,
00:19:28
Speaker
Everything just feels newer. Like, I feel like you have to have, like, generations living in the same area. And, like, you just don't have that as much over here. Yeah. Like, you do have some generations, but it's not – your roots aren't here.
00:19:39
Speaker
Yeah. i would agree with that. would agree with that. Okay. So now that you know a little bit about what Mothman is, where would you live? Ooh. –
00:19:51
Speaker
i
00:19:54
Speaker
I feel like if I were Mothman, like i'd like, essentially I'd want the same kind of vibe. Like, I want that small town vibe. Okay. um
00:20:03
Speaker
I could see, like, a nice, like, either, like, New England kind of like mid-Atlantic. I don't think the south would be the best place. but like For sure. Yeah. Like, I could see a small kind of mid-Atlantic town. Like, give me, like, a rural Pennsylvania, rural Maryland. Okay. With some, like, hills, like, some rolling hills, you know?
00:20:23
Speaker
Very picturesque. but I mean, beautiful views. So when you go on your little night quests, you'll see some beautiful things. Yes. And then like in the winter when everything's dead, yeah i feel like the moth color really, really blends in better. Like i feel like if I'm vobra on on the West Coast, things are a little bit too green or a little bit too fresh still in the winter. Yeah.
00:20:41
Speaker
I like it. Okay. Who are you targeting? Or are you just flying around and people see you when they see you? Ooh.
00:20:51
Speaker
I feel like I'm just there for the vibes. So like when the opportunity presents itself, like I'm just going to like float around the city and like, Oh, there's someone by themselves. Let me do little like sneak attack. Especially around Halloween.
00:21:05
Speaker
yeah Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I like it. I think if I'm living, if I'm an unidentified lake monster, I'm going sing songs.
00:21:17
Speaker
In the most random places. so Like a siren kind of thing? I'm going to do like a siren kind of thing, but I'm also going to be mobile. So that's why I'm unidentified, right? So I'm going to... I was about to say going to have wheels, but that is accurate to what I was thinking. You're like a segue in between lakes.
00:21:42
Speaker
oh my god no imagine like paul blart mall cop rolling out of the way okay do you want to hear something crazy which again highlights the difference between us what i'm thinking is the rugrats movie the reptar reptar bot thing ever you ever seen that movie i don't think so
00:21:59
Speaker
do you have a you at least seen uh rugrats yes of course okay do you know like the little t-rex that one of them has i think it's yeah it's tommy yeah okay in the rugmats movie they go to like this um it's almost like universal studios and it's about reptar and they have essentially um it's not a balloon animal Or like ah a parade float. But it's like a parade float, but it's on wheels. So it's like a... It's on wheels, and then there's just like this giant reptar situation. That's what I was envisioning in my head. But then I was like, that doesn't make sense because I'm an actual animal. So what I would actually have is wings.
00:22:37
Speaker
So I would fly from lake to lake to lake and like travel the world that way. Or... Nope. Nope. Psych. I take it back. I'm actually able to tunnel between lakes.
00:22:48
Speaker
That's where my mind was going. I feel like a a network of tunnels underneath. That would be sick. And I'm going to go wherever I want. So like, if it's too cold for me up here, I'm going down, I'm going down to where it's warm. If it's too hot, I'm coming back up. Like I'm just, I'm a jet setter.
00:23:02
Speaker
I got passport stamps for days. You ain't going stop nothing. And then when I want people to like recognize me or like think I'm over here so that I can go on vacation, going to do like a little song, little song, little dance, fly, maybe fly around. going keep the wings. I'm fly around. And then I'm to back in my tunnels. that's o I like it.
Listener Engagement and Episode Wrap-up
00:23:22
Speaker
Okay. What's your name going to be?
00:23:25
Speaker
i
00:23:29
Speaker
You can't spring that on me that fast. I know. I'm trying to think of my name. I'll say my name first. So you think. um My name is going to be Van Twinkle Triumph Breath.
00:23:43
Speaker
name going to be Monty. Monty the Mothman. I like it. Old Mothwoman. you going man or a woman?
00:23:51
Speaker
Or are you going to be both? I like it doesn't really matter. don't think it does either. I don't think I need to gendered. I think I'm going to like sea cucumber. I can be whatever I want to be.
00:24:03
Speaker
I feel like the reproduction would be kind of cool. Like imagine like ah just a string of little like moth children. Just chilling in the sky? Mm-hmm. Just like, well, like you know like raccoons go in a line? Yeah. Two, one. Just like the little moths behind. Wee, wee, wee.
00:24:21
Speaker
I love it. I love it so much. Okay. Well, I think anything else that we we need to talk about these cryptids? I don't think so. That was very fun. I feel like we got so off topic, but it was lovely. I love it. if Please drop in the chat what you guys got as your cryptids because I'm genuinely interested. And then answer all the questions. What's your name? Where are you going to live? Do you have any special talents as your cryptid? What are you doing?
00:24:46
Speaker
Tell us all about it. Well, that's it for today's dive into the bonus episode. We'll see you next time. Thank you for joining us. Talk to you soon. Bye. Bye.
00:24:57
Speaker
a