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The Black Hole Heist image

The Black Hole Heist

Breaking Math Podcast
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Surprise! It's a Friday episode for you! Yes, yes it is a rerun, but we wanted to share it anyways.  We can't wait for our fall lineup because it's packed with surprises. See you back on Tuesday. 

Keywords: Black holes, gravity, universe, physics, ai, machine learning, education, statistics, engineering, humanity

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Transcript
00:00:21
Speaker
Major Chromatic, what an honor it is to have you in our sinister and very expensive laboratory. I thought we were at the LHC or CERN. We're not allowed to call it those on here. Oh. Dr. Jekyll, we've heard a lot about your work. You seem to deal primarily in black holes and transforming yourself into a creature of the night. Do not speak to me about my father's work. I bear no relation to my family's name anymore. What can I do for you, Major? Dr. Jekyll. No relation? We understand there's some controversy surrounding the information paradox about black holes.
00:00:51
Speaker
Well, the controversy surrounding black holes has been covered on episode 32 of... Now, I don't want any of your fancy backtalk, Ombre. The thing is, Japan is getting really tired of everyone laughing at their hilarious television shows. We're supposed to take them seriously? I find the suggestion that Japan is unaware of their nuanced cultural appreciation of the absurd to be offensive. Where did you get this information? eBay. Dear God.
00:01:12
Speaker
That's why we're hoping that the triple classified black hole you've been growing in containment field 32X can be of some service to us. In order to pretend that Japan doesn't exist so it can't hurt us, we need to dump all of our diplomatic cables, top secret documents, and any sensitive bureaucratic matter dealing with UK-Japan relations. We're not American. We sound pretty American. She? The time stream is already splitting.
00:01:35
Speaker
Okay, but wasn't your whole deal a geopolitics thing? We haven't even gotten into space-time anomalies and you're claiming that some time stream is splitting, but one where we think we sound what we call American is odd and nobody questions it. Also, just in terms of our plans, I'm not sure ignoring a country about a grudge they might not have is a good solution to anything at all. I'm not sure if anyone could, even in theory, follow the premise of what you're asking me to do. So you see how serious this is?
00:02:03
Speaker
Yes, it's worse than I thought. So the information paradox will destroy the information forever? Well, not exactly, but I suppose it'll have to do. God help us all if Japan finds out. We're going to have to pair you up with a warrior. Some say that he has more kills than nail clippings. Some say he was born on a pile of rust. Some gossip that wordplay is not his forte. Some call him Jim. Why are they calling Jim? His name's Jim. You have your order, scientist. Meet Jim on the roof.
00:03:00
Speaker
Did somebody say Jim? No, I didn't hear anyone say Jim. Well somebody did. They should put me inside a turkey because I'm hot stuff. looking Well, they did tell me that wordplay wasn't your forte. I've been waiting for a forte night to hear you say that. Just... just don't, okay? We're only on page four, and I already don't know what's going on, so I'd appreciate it if you'd just shut up whenever you're about to say something stupid. Because I know in my heart that if I don't say this, you'll try more wordplay.
00:03:29
Speaker
Are we gonna stand around all day playing with words? Or working with words? Word work. Try saying that five times fast, but later, we gotta move. Show me to the black hole. I have the suitcase full of documents we need to destroy. It all fits in a suitcase? Follow me this way.
00:03:49
Speaker
What is that, ominous buzzing? It's Nadia. That's what I've named the Black Hole. It weighs about one ton. The ominous humming sound you hear is the containment field. So we have to turn off the containment field? Well, that'd be tricky. We, however, designed Nadia's containment field 10 feet thick that keeps out around 10 atmospheres of pressure and keeps the Black Hole in vacuum conditions so it doesn't suck anything else in. That faint glow is the Hawking radiation.
00:04:17
Speaker
Wouldn't the Hawking radiation be a lot brighter? Like a black hole the size of Nadia, one ton, would still have a temperature of around 130 trillion degrees, and would evaporate essentially instantly. Who has the lab coat, and who has the necklace of human skulls? Let's stick to what we know. Anyways, as long as we throw it sideways, with the kinetic energy of an automobile at highway speeds from about 10 feet away, it should reach the event horizon and be pulled in. That I can do. Let me just stretch my throwing arm.
00:04:45
Speaker
Ready? Go!
00:04:53
Speaker
Oh no! What? It's learned to breach the contaminant field. Run! Probably wants to feed. him I'll change the signs to point at the cafeteria to buy us some time.
00:05:10
Speaker
I thought you said this was safe. Sometimes, in the name of national security, you have to give up safety. Wow, really dude, I'd say that freedom has a price. You're talking about freedom, but all Nadia wants is war. Let's turn on the news.
00:05:23
Speaker
That's why the news is always relevant as soon as it comes on. That's right, Tracy. My name's not Tracy Chris, but either way, shocking news from Japan came in just moments ago. Japan, known primarily for its unwittingly funny television programming, is in a situation that is no laughing matter. What appears to be a black hole is holding the city of Tokyo ransom for gold, that is, and I quote, heavy as possible. It is unknown whether or not we'll get more funny programming from the land of the rising sun ever again.
00:05:53
Speaker
The explanation holds its breath. So why did you think this was a safe thing to do? let me get at my blockboard and explain everything You see, the way that black holes work is that they happen when enough mass gets together and the escape velocity is so large, not even light can escape. It has been shown that black holes have a certain entropy, that is, unharnessable energy, related to their surface area. They, thus, glow. And what they evaporate out by glowing, since mass and energy is equivalent, is equal to what they've sucked in. This means that they've essentially destroyed information and the way that burning something destroys that information. No real information is lost, but if I give you just the ashes or Hawking radiation without any extra information such as the near precise location and momentum of every atom in the light cone of the burning event or Hawking radiation, you cannot reconstruct the information that seems to have been destroyed.
00:06:48
Speaker
Makes sense so far. But then again, I did listen to episodes 30 through 32 of Breaking Math. It's such a wonderful podcast, isn't it Jim? It sure is. It has my full endorsement. But look, when I take the parameters of Nadia, cross them with theoretical black holes, take this letter out of this equation, put it over here, carry the one, and translate it into Tagalog.
00:07:06
Speaker
Dear God, it's learning. I'm so glad I could see everything you were doing on the blackboard. If all I could do is hear you right now, I'd be totally lost. So we have to leave. but andna naita hoba kayot and tagalog you conti la ta na ta na
00:07:25
Speaker
You fly helicopters? We've been on this helicopter for close to 40 hours, going from your top secret reserve facility in Berkeley, and we're right outside of where Tokyo is right now. Why'd you wait until now to ask me that? So that the audience would be all caught up.
00:07:45
Speaker
The entrances and exits into and out of Tokyo have all been devoured, and all that remains is a mode of lava. Time to kick some butt. How are you going to attack Nadia? Rocket launcher. I swear you're just so forgetful. We talked about this like five minutes ago. That won't work. She just absorbs it and grows stronger.
00:08:05
Speaker
I'm general specific. And I'll say how we attack this thing. Soldiers, fire the big guns! hey Sir, please, you're just making her angry. I'll tell you something, kid. I've been a general for 40 odd years, and in that time I can proudly say that I have never negotiated with space-time anomalies. She's not an anomaly, she's the black hole found throughout the universe. The sound changed? Was that sound supposed to be the hum of the black hole or the containment field? I'm confused. A little column A, a little column B, but you're right. I think it was something I said. Wait, do you still have that blackboard? Of course.
00:08:43
Speaker
Thank you. Wow. Wow. By the power of Thor. What? Look at what happened when I reversed the equation. Substitupers canny-sub-g and translate it into Sanskrit. My god, you're right! There might be an information paradox, but love transcends all! It's so simple! Hey! General specific! Didn't I tell you that I don't have time for you? No, you merely implied it. Oh. Well, scram.
00:09:12
Speaker
He's not listening to reason. Hang on. I know what I'll do. Does the helicopter have a loudspeaker? but Yes, it does. All helicopters do. And I, of course, have this microphone. Help me hook this up.
00:09:36
Speaker
No matter how hard I try. You keep sucking in countryside and no matter can break free. You treat information paradoxically. It's working. Keep firing.
00:09:50
Speaker
and
00:09:53
Speaker
So sad that your horizon's edge takes time and pushes it off a ledge. Retreat! It has our guns! But after all is said and done, I'm glad we had some fun. Oh, oh. Do you believe in the edge of space time? I made you in my laboratory. I can't escape because you're strong enough. Yeah. Do you believe in the edge of space time? I can't do it in my laboratory. I can't escape because you're strong enough.
00:10:25
Speaker
What's happening? She's going to heaven. Wait, really? Thank you, Dr. Jekyll, for setting me free and teaching me the value of love. I must go to heaven now. God's waiting for me.
00:10:51
Speaker
So I still don't get what had happened there. You see, it's very simple, really. I wrote that song for Nadia when she weighed only about a milligram. You know how plants grow faster when you sing to them? Same with black holes. And the effect is augmented with parodies. Why? That did sound like Cher, but very bad version of Cher. They're usually so poorly thought out that they have a higher information content. Listen to episode three of Breaking Math called TMI. And since black holes expand with information,
00:11:17
Speaker
And wow, that show, let me just say, is really great. It really is. So why did playing it again work? Well, you discover the relationship yourself. Energy cannot be created, but love can. I had to show Nadia someone loved her, and everyone fell into place. Of course. It's so cohesive and simple. Yes. Something tells me that this will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
00:11:40
Speaker
Black Hole Heist was brought to you by Breaking Maps, which is brought to you by general media. For episodes that talk more about the reality of Black Hole, you can listen to episode 13 entitled The Abyss, episode 31 entitled Into the Abyss, or episode 32 entitled Gazing of the Abyss, any relation you need to be in the characters of the universe. You can email us at breakingmathpodcast.gmail.com. These emails will count towards Gabriel getting a tattoo. Thank you, thank you, and until next time, rock rock on.