Transcript
Speaker: Take a deep. Slow breath. And just let yourself rest right where you are. There is an incredible exhausting amount of energy. that goes into maintaining a version of your life.
Speaker: that looks stable on the outside. All while carrying an interior inventory, of worries and wounds you are terrified to talk about. We walk into our workplaces.
Speaker: our family gatherings, and even her church lobbies. With this quiet, underlying fear, that if people around us actually saw them. Home. unedited transcript of our thoughts.
Speaker: If they knew the depth of our dependencies? are recurrent failures. And the secret fractures we try so hard to mask. They would slowly start to back away from the table.
Speaker: So? We wear the mask. We manage our public profiles. We perform our certainty. and we keep the messy parts locked in the dark.
Speaker: but keeping secrets is a heavy soul -crushing job. And eventually... The armor gets too heavy to carry. I'm Latasha Baggins. and you've found your way back to When Words Fail.
Speaker: Today, We are opening up a conversation. around track six of the album. An episode I have titled, Willingly, and on purpose. We have a dangerous habit.
Speaker: of treating grace as if it were cheap. Automatic. and entirely painless. We sing our songs. Glance at the cross on the wall. And if we aren't careful...
Speaker: We can accidentally treat Calvary as an unfortunate tragedy. that just happened to work in our favor. But the cross was never an accident. Jesus did not stumble into a political trap.
Speaker: He wasn't caught off guard by Rome's cruelty. If you open the pages of the Word on your own, You find a love. that is terrifyingly thorough.
Speaker: Salam. and deliberate. It was a holy execution. carried out with HODL! for knowledge. It was a sacrifice. that had its eyes completely open to the agony of the rights.
Speaker: The first verse of the song confronts us directly with the idea of our entire lives being out. asking what we would do. if every single triumph Every deep break.
Speaker: and every quiet moment of doubt was... completely unrolled right in front of our eyes. It forces us to stand directly beneath the heavy weight of a singular reality.
Speaker: Jesus saw your whole life laid bare in advance. He looked down the timeline of history. and saw every single one of your future stumbles. your private betrayals.
Speaker: You're hidden in peace. and the moments where you would stubbornly walk into sin. Facing that kind of absolute visibility. is terrifying.
Speaker: because it completely shatters our curated images and strips away the public profiles. we worked so hard to maintain. Our natural instinct. is to try and look away.
Speaker: to minimize the mess. or to cover it up with a quick superficial baseline. of religious raising. but you cannot play hide and seek. with an omniscient king.
Speaker: He didn't look at it clean. sanitized summary of your best Sunday morning attendance. He looked directly into the dark. Silent rooms where you sit in your choices.
Speaker: He knew the precise compound compounding weight of every detour long before your pavement ever ran out. and the staggering mystery of the gospel? is that he counted the entire cost.
Speaker: He faced the gravity of your worst day. and still move directly. towards you. Willingly, and on purpose. The song begins with a bassline confession.
Speaker: Let me tell you about my Jesus. And it demands that we stop pretending we are righteous. on our own initiative
Speaker: We try so hard to hide our dry spaces. our heavy habits. and the ways we get weighed down by the world's values. We treat our spiritual stagnation.
Speaker: like a minor discipline problem. telling ourselves We just need to try harder next week. But the problem is in our effort. It's our posture. We are trying to clean ourselves up. before we approach the game.
Speaker: completely forgetting. that He chose the cross while we were still entirely sinking. under the crushing weight of our sin. You don't have to hide the knot in your spirit.
Speaker: You have to be willing to look at the cross and realize that your worst moments were never a surprise to the Savior. Let us bow our heads and pray. Lord Jesus.
Speaker: We're sitting at this table with absolutely nothing left to hide behind. We confess that we are masters of the cover -up. We perform our strength. and pretend that we have clean slates.
Speaker: because we are terrified of what it would mean to be truly exposed. Give us the raw courage. to pull down our defenses today. Silence the whispers of shame.
Speaker: that tell us we are too dirty to be redeemed. As we look at the breathtaking scope of your sacrifice, Let us truly comprehend what that means. To be fully known.
Speaker: and completely loved anyway. We kneel beneath the weight of a love that saw our worst days. and still chose us. willingly. and on purpose.
Speaker: Amen.
Speaker: We have a bad habit. of thinking that God's love for us fluctuates. based on our daily performance chart. We think that when we have a good, quiet time. Read three chapters of the word.
Speaker: and manage to keep our tempers in check. God looks down and loves us a little bit more. And then... we slip back into an old habit. Given to a familiar temptation.
Speaker: or let our hearts grow cold and indifferent. We assume. He backs away in disgust. until we perform enough religious chores. to earn our way back into his good graces.
Speaker: But when you open up the scriptures, The Holy Spirit shatters that myth completely. Look at what the Apostle Paul writes in Romans 5, verses 6 -8.
Speaker: for while we were still helpless. at the right time. Christ died for the ungodly. for one will hardly die for a righteous person. Oh, perhaps for the good person.
Speaker: Some would even dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love towards us. And that while we were still sinners. Christ died for us.
Speaker: Look at that timing. while we were still helpless. while we were still sinners. The chorus of the song carries that exact truth into the open air.
Speaker: He knew we would fall short. But he did it anyway. He knew we would betray him. But he loved us anyway. Christ did not wait for humanity to organize a reform committee.
Speaker: He didn't look down from heaven and say, if they would just get their habits sorted out. They could just clean up their neighborhoods and establish moral stability. Then I'll move towards the cross.
Speaker: He didn't wait for you to fix your life. before he died for you. He moved towards Calvary. or you are still actively wandering. still deeply entangled in your sin.
Speaker: and still completely capable of deep personal betrayal. Now. Let's be careful here. Because walking this path... requires us to hold onto a very...
Speaker: Fine line. is truth. does not mean we get a free pass to live however we want. Grace is never an excuse for laziness. nor a license to coddle our mistakes.
Speaker: or to stop striving for holiness. We should be fighting with everything we have. to honor the Lord and turn away from it. patterns that break his heart. but on the flip side of the same coin.
Speaker: When we do scan our knees, We inevitably stumble. and make a mistake. We cannot allow the enemy to bury us alive in a tomb of shame. Yup. Christ died to pay a debt.
Speaker: not to establish a cosmic scorecard. where you spend the rest of your life groveling in condemnation. There is a massive difference. between the conviction of the Holy Spirit that gently pulls you back to the path and the toxic shame of the adversary.
Speaker: It tells you to stay hidden. in the dark. It takes pulling your life. out into the light. letting go of your conditions. and surrendering your path entirely to Jesus.
Speaker: There was no blind spot in the mind of Jesus when he laid down his life. He didn't look at you and see a project that just needed a little remodeling. He saw a soul.
Speaker: that was completely dead apart from a supernatural rescue. centuries before the Roman nails ever touched his flesh. The prophet Isaiah saw this exact reality.
Speaker: a terrifying precision. In Isaiah 53. three through six. He describes a suffering servant. who was pierced through for our transgressions. and crushed for our iniquities.
Speaker: turning our deflection upside down. Under the reality, that the Lord caused the iniquity of us all to fall on him. He saw the fall. agonizing bill of your specific transgressions.
Speaker: before the foundations of the world were laid. He looked down. the corridors of time. Counted the cost of every single detour. but the precise weight of the crushing iniquity you would commit.
Speaker: He willingly signed his name in blood. to the covenant of your redemption. He did it knowingly. He did it with his eyes wide open. He did it. on purpose.
Speaker: To truly understand. the heart behind this message. We have to leave the crowds of Jerusalem behind. and walk straight into the dark, heavy shadows of an olive grove.
Speaker: We have to look at the place where the choice was finalized. The second verse of the song. wonders deeply about what it actually cost him. to look ahead at the pain. and still walk straight into that place.
Speaker: It pictures Jesus alone in the Garden of Gethsemane. praying and wrestling with the sheer weight what is coming down. row. Look at the rock count.
Speaker: and Mark. 14. 32 through 36. They came to a place named Gethsemane. And he said to his disciples, Sit here until I have prayed.
Speaker: And he took with him Peter and James and John. and began to be very distressed and troubled. And he said to them, My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death.
Speaker: Remain here and keep watch. And he went a little beyond them. and fell to the ground and began to pray. that if it were possible, The hour might pass him by.
Speaker: And he was saying, ABBA Father. All things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. yet not what I will. but what you will.
Speaker: This is not a cold. detached deity. gliding towards Calvary. completely unaffected by human suffering. This is your savior.
Speaker: Fully feeling the wrong bone crushing weight of God's cup of wrath against sin. He was likely. directly into that cup. And he didn't just see physical nails or Roman whip.
Speaker: You saw the toxic. Spiritual Fifth of Aldrin Murder. Every lie. Every hidden lust, and every sin against love that humanity would ever commit.
Speaker: including yours. including mine. He saw the exact moments where we would take His grace for granted. and His Holy Soul. recoil from the horror of it.
Speaker: Think about what's what was actually happening. and the spirit realm. during the Garden Avenue. Jesus was looking down. the barrel of the cross. anticipating the moment where our sin would finally be laid. on him.
Speaker: forcing him to cry out that agonizing question. My god. My God. Why have you forsaken me?
Speaker: We repeat those rare words. But have you ever truly paused? to understand the magnitude of that scream. from before the foundations of the world.
Speaker: through all of eternity past. Jesus had known nothing. perfect. Unbroken. face -to -face communion with God. Father. They were one.
Speaker: but because of our choices. because of our wrong turns. The Holy Son of God. was looking at the immediate. terrifying reality.
Speaker: of a total spiritual fracture. This was the first time in his entire life Eternal existence. that he was going to be completely separated.
Speaker: from God. He was stepping into an absolute. Freezing darkness. or the father would have to turn his face away. so that our sins could be judged in His flesh.
Speaker: He was chosen to be forsaken. So that you and I would never have to be apart. We need to understand how we actually operate when we are trapped.
Speaker: We don't just trip and fall. We sit and are set. We get entirely stuck. weighed down by a paralyzing coat of guilt and shame. Most of the time,
Speaker: It happens because we spent days. months, or even years. stacking up a long line of wrong terms. We build momentum. running in our own direction.
Speaker: prioritizing our own comfort. I own careers our own safety. We tell the Lord. No. Not today. Because something else in our calendar feels more urgent.
Speaker: Something else is always more important than sitting at his feet. We stacked those rejections up like bricks. until we find ourselves completely hemmed in. facing a dead end of our own making.
Speaker: and able to find our way back to the path. But let's ask a hard question around this table today. If we know. If we truly believe.
Speaker: but he already saw every single bit of it in advance. Why is it still so incredibly hard for us to talk to him about everything? Why do we choke on our words?
Speaker: The moment we try to get honest. in prayer. Think about the sheer amount of energy we waste. playing hide and seek with an omniscient God. We treat him like a defense attorney.
Speaker: or a judge we are trying to outsmart with Clever phrasing. rather than a father. who loves us. There is a terrifying difference between Jesus knowing Our son in his foreknowledge.
Speaker: and us having to vocalize it in our repentance.
Speaker: naming a specific scent out loud. dragging a hidden envy or a toxic pattern out into the open air. of a quiet room. strips away our a ability to rationalize it.
Speaker: It removes our excuses. It forces us to look in the mirror. and most of the time, We stay silent. because we are terrified of what we'll see.
Speaker: We carry this lingering. legalistic fear. that if we finally pull down the mask, and say it out loud. if we confess the exact thought we had.
Speaker: the exact boundary we crossed, or the deep spiritual dryness we are drowning in. The hammer with... will finally fall. We treat prayer like an interrogation room.
Speaker: We need some paper on this. And if we're not plea bargaining, It's a long trip. Wish list. Do this for me God. Jesus, we need this.
Speaker: Jesus. I need this. Jesus heal this. Jesus, take care of this. Please God, do this. But Gethsemane...
Speaker: was the ultimate roadblock. to that fear. Jesus stepped forward. directly. into the center of our downward spiral. And that exact second of absolute agony.
Speaker: knowing the total separation that was coming. He didn't back away. He didn't call down the legions of angels. to save himself. from our rejection. or our silence.
Speaker: He looked at the cup. He looked at your name written on the bottom of it. And he said, Thy will. Pete. down. That definitive moment.
Speaker: And that. agonizing conversation between the father and the son. changes. everything. about how we live today. It completely rewrites our story.
Speaker: When you're stuck at the that end of your wrong turn. completely crushed by the weight of your own. No, not today responses. or only Asking.
Speaker: when you need something. The Garden Conversation. It's the roadblock. that says, The price has already been paid. You don't have to plea bargain in the dark anymore.
Speaker: Because the verdict. was already settled in blood. He stayed on his knees so you could. Finally. Half the time. freedom. to speak.
Speaker: They say in this world, the greatest love is to lay down your life for a friend. That is a beautiful. Nope. day. But Jesus completely shattered that standard.
Speaker: He didn't die for his friends. He gave his life for people. who were essentially His enemies. and then the very act of bleeding for him. He looked at them.
Speaker: and call them. See ya. He died for the very people who were actively pushing him away. adopting us into a blood -bought lineage.
Speaker: While we were still utterly buried and hidden away in the mess of our choices. Here is where we must hold something. incredibly sacred. Later.
Speaker: Jesus was never a victim. swept along by forces beyond his control. Rome did not defeat him. Judas' is betrayal did not trap him. and the religious authorities did not outmaneuver him.
Speaker: He walked into that garden on his own two feet. And he stayed on his knees until the choice was sealed. He said it himself in John 10, 17 and 18.
Speaker: For this reason, the Father loves me. Because I lay down my life. so that I may take it up again. No one has taken it away from me. but I lay it down on my own initiative.
Speaker: That distinction changes everything about how you look at the cross. A love that stumbles into a sacrifice by accident. might be moving or tragic. but a love that sees the full.
Speaker: agonizing cost in advance. feels the physical dread of it in his own body. has the complete power to call down twelve legions of angels to rescue himself.
Speaker: and still chooses to stay on the path for you specifically? That is a holy, unfailing love. He didn't just happen to die for you. He did it intentionally.
Speaker: He did it willingly. and on purpose
Speaker: What makes the gospel feel less like a dry list of doctrines? and more like a living testimony. is how naturally it moves from the grief of the garden and to the raw shouting gratitude of a rescued soul.
Speaker: Chains don't simply rust and fall off on their own initiative. Someone had to plead to break them. And when that realization hits your spirit. It changes your entire posture.
Speaker: It moves you from a state of mourning into an absolute celebration of freedom. Look at the sobering diagnosis in Ephesians 2, 1 -5. but God being rich in mercy.
Speaker: because of his great love with which he loved us. even when we were dead in our wrongdoings. made us alive together with Christ. Christ. Notice it doesn't say we were mildly distracted. or slightly off track.
Speaker: or just needed a self -help upgrade. It says we were dead. A corpse cannot lift a hand to save itself. A corpse cannot negotiate with a doctor. You were completely hopeless without mercy.
Speaker: with God. out of nothing but the sheer richness of his grace. move towards you while you were still in the grave. as the text in Colossians 1, 13 -14 declares.
Speaker: He has. delivered us from the domain of darkness. and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son. in whom we have redemption. the forgiveness of sins.
Speaker: Redemption isn't just a legal rescue from a dark prison cell. It is a permanent restoration to a person. You are not merely merely handed a pardon at the courthouse door.
Speaker: until to find your own way home. You are brought straight into the Father's living room. You were given a seat at the table. You are given true relationship. A sense of belonging.
Speaker: and a permanent welcome.
Speaker: But let's look at what happens when we leave this table. and look at the world around us. Because once you understand that Jesus looked at the brokenness, The wrong turns. And the moments where you were entirely immersed in your sin.
Speaker: and declared you worthy of his sacrifice. It completely destroys our right to look at anyone else. with a pointing finger. Think about the arrogance we carry.
Speaker: When we hold grudges, or withhold our fellowship from people who have stumbled. If the king of kings looked at a person, count at the full cost of their flaws,
Speaker: and willingly poured out his blood to buy them back. Who are we to override his verdict? If Jesus has declared them worthy of his love, Who are we to stand as self -appointed judges?
Speaker: and try to keep them from his mercy. It's not our grace we're withholding anyway. We don't possess a single drop of our own grace to give or deny. It is His grace.
Speaker: bought at the highest price imaginable. When we close our hearts to our brother or sister, We arrogantly try to lock the doors of a sanctuary. that doesn't belong to us.
Speaker: Remember, We hate the sin. not the center.
Speaker: My pastor spoke on something again that he has said before. It stopped me in my tracks because it goes so well with what I wanted to talk about this week. We were talking about the Lord's Prayer.
Speaker: A prayer that so many of us have memorized and repeated a thousand times. we were kids. But he asked us, Have you ever really taken the time to pause and comprehend?
Speaker: what you're actually asking the God to do when you pray those words. Because there's a line in it that says, Lord, forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Speaker: Do you know what that actually means? It means you're kneeling before a holy God and saying, Father. I want you to forgive me. only as much.
Speaker: as I have forgiven the person I hate. the most. Let that sink into the hidden rooms of your soul for a second. We repeat that prayer so casually.
Speaker: We are literally asking God to measure out his mercy. toward Oz. using the exact same measuring cup we use for the people who have wronged us. If you're harboring bitterness,
Speaker: You're keeping tabs on an old wound. If you're actively locking someone out of fellowship, You are instructing God to do the exact same thing to you. That is a terrifying. powerful reality to sit with.
Speaker: at this table. We're all just beggars telling other beggars where to find bread. If we have been brought into this royal family by a free gift of mercy, than our only job description.
Speaker: is to extend that exact same unedited unconditional welcome. to every single broken traveler who crosses our path. Once your life is securely placed into his hands through repentance and faith,
Speaker: The bill is paid. The seal was set. and the enemy cannot pluck you out of his grasp. The bridge of the song lands with that exact Beautiful declaration.
Speaker: You stand in the knowing that you are completely love Beyond the Grain. That is true love. And that is grace. If you're sitting here today,
Speaker: and your faith feels like a flickering candle about to go out. If you have been running from God, because you're terrified of what he'll say. when you show up. deeply immersed in your choices.
Speaker: Just drop to your knees and cry out. Forward. Save me. I cannot crawl out of this dirt on my own. that definitive moment of broken surrender.
Speaker: is the exact spot. where new creation begins.
Speaker: Now. I want you to quiet your thoughts. If you're on the move. or lean back if you're resting. We've laid out the cost. We've walked through the garden. and we've looked at them permanent welcome waiting at the end of the road.
Speaker: Let's ease into the music now. Let the lyrics carry your personal prayer of gratitude as we listen together. Let the joy of this rescue wash over the dry places of your soul.
Speaker: Let the praise carry your confession. And let the Holy Spirit remind you. of what it truly means to be fully known. and completely loved. Anyway.
Speaker: you knew the cross you knew the pain you knew that I
Speaker: still
Speaker: close
Speaker: Lord Jesus. you thought ever every fall every fear, every failure. And you still chose the cross. No one took your life from you.
Speaker: You gave it freely. willingly and on purpose for us. Thank you for loving us. before we ever knew how to love you back. We bring you our doubts. our shame and our weariness today.
Speaker: And we ask you to hold what we cannot carry. Wash away our desire. to perform and strip away our pride that tries to judge others worthiness Teach us to extend the exact same radical,
Speaker: Bloodbot, welcome to our neighbors. that you extended to us. Lead us out of our isolation. and into the sanctuary of your church. where we could stand among your people and be filled with your spirit.
Speaker: You knew. You chose. And still. You can't. willingly and on purpose. Help us to walk out of this room. and be truly. Amen.
Speaker: Your worst moments were never a surprise to Jesus. He didn't stumble into Calvary by accident. He chose it. counting the cost completely in advance. for you.
Speaker: So wrap yourself in that peace this week.
Speaker: Thank you for spending this time on hurry time with me. the table. This conversation brought a moment of peace and joy to your week. Please share it with someone who's currently running on empty. Don't forget to like share and subscribe to the podcast so we can keep walking this path together.
Speaker: Also, make sure to head over to my YouTube community page. where I post our personal reflection questions every week. It's a safe space where you can share your thoughts, leave your prayer request, and connect with others in the comments.
Speaker: Next Thursday, the table opens up again as we dive into track 7 from the album. Focusing on the song Only God. We'll explore the majestic Sovereign Grace that Mensa Valleys when everything else completely fails.
Speaker: Take care of your soul. Open your hands and take heart. God bless you.
