Transcript
Speaker: Welcome back to the third episode of Phoenix.
Speaker: I'm super excited just to be here today.
Speaker: We are a little bit late, but if anyone knows me, they know that that's completely consistent with my style in life.
Speaker: But we had some technical difficulties.
Speaker: So in doing hundreds of podcasts in my career right now, I think this is the first time I actually had to redo it.
Speaker: So I want to thank our guest today for coming back.
Speaker: I'm happy to be here.
Speaker: And re-recording this, I feel like the second time, it's going to be even better than the first time.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Thank you for having me.
Speaker: Well, I appreciate you coming here the first time.
Speaker: I appreciate you coming here the second time.
Speaker: So today we have with us Kim DeMeo.
Speaker: Kim, actually, I met Kim...
Speaker: Just last week or whatever and it feels like I've known Kim for my entire life We've got our wives actually intermingle in weird places.
Speaker: It's just completely odd But I met Kim because I believe was your sister or your cousin.
Speaker: I'm sorry I'm contacted me after our first episode and said you have to hear Kim's story.
Speaker: I heard your story.
Speaker: There's a lot of parallels.
Speaker: I think she would be fantastic for you to meet so
Speaker: and talk to.
Speaker: So I think we communicated first on Facebook Messenger and then eventually we talked and it was so crazy when we got here.
Speaker: We were like, how do we not know each other all the time?
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: It was like six degrees of each other.
Speaker: So I want to start out by, why don't you just tell us a little bit about yourself right now and then we'll get into the story.
Speaker: So don't give away the story yet, but if you want to just introduce yourself really quickly, we'll start there.
Speaker: My name is Kim DiMeo.
Speaker: I started a podcast.
Speaker: I'm an author.
Speaker: I grew up here in the Chicagoland area.
Speaker: I kind of lived a little bit of a sheltered bubble life.
Speaker: Went to like the whole private school route my whole life.
Speaker: But then I went to school, to college in Georgia, came back, and I'm definitely on this reinventing path
Speaker: path right now because I'm in my 40s and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Speaker: And I, I think that more people should jump on my bandwagon.
Speaker: And I feel like I'm almost like I've led a career that way.
Speaker: Like I never really figured out what I wanted to do.
Speaker: So I just did everything.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, it was like,
Speaker: Every little kid wants to be a fireman, so I become a fireman for a little bit.
Speaker: I worked in computers because my dad was a computer guy and I felt like I should follow in his footsteps.
Speaker: I worked for nonprofits because I thought that was a good thing to do in life.
Speaker: I feel like I never really found out what I wanted to do.
Speaker: I love what I'm doing right now.
Speaker: Which is everything.
Speaker: Which is everything.
Speaker: Which is being an entrepreneur, being a marketing and communications director for a big law firm.
Speaker: So I love doing what I'm doing right now, but it was funny.
Speaker: I kind of like meandered around and found something.
Speaker: So it's kind of like, we're kind of in the same boat on that side too.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: All right, let's talk a little bit about what happened to you, that baby.
Speaker: So let's start out is how long ago did this happen?
Speaker: So literally three years ago, right around now.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So tell me what happened.
Speaker: Okay, so four years ago, right around now, is when the whole world shut down because of COVID.
Speaker: And I had twin boys that were in seventh grade, and we didn't know what was going to come from the whole COVID thing, but the whole world literally shut down on their birthday.
Speaker: And they're...
Speaker: My twins are extremely social.
Speaker: They're shy, just like their mom, if you can't tell.
Speaker: And our house was always like the house that everyone went to.
Speaker: So I'm also a high functioning lupus patient.
Speaker: So and I say patient because I don't think of myself as sick until I really am.
Speaker: So it's just, you know, something that I have to live with.
Speaker: And the doctor called me on a Sunday and because I was like, should I still take my medication?
Speaker: You know, if because it's an immunosuppressant, I'm like, should I should I suppress my immunity or should I like keep should I build it?
Speaker: Like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
Speaker: And she called me on a Sunday and kind of scared me.
Speaker: And she was like, you know, you need to treat yourself as if you've already been exposed.
Speaker: So we actually had to.
Speaker: closed the doors on like the friends coming over and stuff.
Speaker: And my kids handled it with such grace and stride.
Speaker: So that was that first year.
Speaker: So for the second year, for their, their next birthday, when they were in eighth grade, I wanted to do something big because they never complained.
Speaker: They were great.
Speaker: They were so cooperative.
Speaker: They were amazing.
Speaker: So I also believe that like everything happens for a reason.
Speaker: And yeah,
Speaker: I started a job at a restaurant and I met someone at the at the restaurant who was the GM at Topgolf.
Speaker: And it just so happened that she was wonderful.
Speaker: She set me up with a great package for my kids to go to Topgolf and their birthday is in March.
Speaker: So we went on a random Tuesday night because it was cheaper than a weekend.
Speaker: And then I thought, you know, this would be great.
Speaker: This will be something for the kids to do during spring break.
Speaker: And it'll be like an event for them to go to.
Speaker: So it was great.
Speaker: So I'm also notoriously late for everything.
Speaker: Including the spy.
Speaker: Yes, we're waiting together.
Speaker: There we go.
Speaker: Yes, exactly.
Speaker: It's only fitting.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: So tell me 20 minutes earlier and I'll probably get on time.
Speaker: I'll be there on time.
Speaker: So I thought their birthday party that I put together was on a Tuesday and I thought it was from six to nine.
Speaker: So the kids were only 15.
Speaker: So we had to like wrangle all the teenagers in different cars.
Speaker: And I it was my sister in law, my sister and myself and just getting all the teenagers out there.
Speaker: And when we got to Topgolf, it turned out that the birthday party was actually six thirty to nine thirty.
Speaker: And when my phone is always glued to me, as most of us are, you know, our phones are always attached to us.
Speaker: And it just so happened to be.
Speaker: that brief moment when they were bringing like appetizers out, we were singing happy birthday and I was about to start taking pictures with my phone that all of our phones kind of started blowing up.
Speaker: And it was my sons that came up to me and they're like, Mom, we need to leave.
Speaker: Our house is on fire.
Speaker: And I was like, I'm sorry, wait, what?
Speaker: And I mean, whoever would expect to get that news.
Speaker: And when I reached over to look at my phone, it was my neighbor.
Speaker: And she's like, you need to get home now.
Speaker: It's bad.
Speaker: The house is on fire.
Speaker: So my husband and my brother-in-law left right away.
Speaker: Um, I, someone had to pay the bill.
Speaker: So I was like, okay, I guess I'll do that.
Speaker: And it was weird.
Speaker: It felt like the whole world was in slow motion at that point.
Speaker: And people were like, you know, did you panic?
Speaker: Were you like, what happened?
Speaker: I think someone has to panic and I mean, I hate to throw my husband under the bus, but he was the panicker.
Speaker: And I was, I told you this before I was like eerily calm and everything was in slow motion.
Speaker: And I think that's my like defense mechanism.
Speaker: of like, okay, someone has to help get through this and someone has to be the calm person.
Speaker: So we got in our car and we headed back home and we went to the disaster.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think it's interesting when, you know, you said the, first of all, I think it's interesting when you said you had this air of calmness and I don't think, so we have the exact same, you know, very similar story.
Speaker: And I,
Speaker: I was, it was two o'clock in the morning.
Speaker: It just woke me up and I was like a nutcase.
Speaker: Cause you had a fire off though.
Speaker: Find a dog, find a dog, throw the dog out the front door.
Speaker: We'll catch him sometime later.
Speaker: Go back in.
Speaker: I need my keys.
Speaker: You know, call this person, call that person, call this person.
Speaker: And then, you know, I was like, so in this, in this mode of trying, but I think that also came from when you came home and,
Speaker: it was already, everything was going on already.
Speaker: You know, I woke up to find it.
Speaker: So I was calling 911.
Speaker: I was calling my mom.
Speaker: I was like, literally call my mom.
Speaker: I'm like, mom, my house is on effing fire.
Speaker: And she remembers that call till today.
Speaker: It was on her anniversary.
Speaker: And it was maybe nine years ago this year.
Speaker: And she remembers it and she's like, you never swear at me.
Speaker: And you just said, my house is on effing fire.
Speaker: I need help.
Speaker: And so it's foreign to me that you were like calm when that happened.
Speaker: It was super bizarre.
Speaker: And I can't explain it any other way other than that.
Speaker: And I felt like I was in slow motion.
Speaker: I almost felt like I was on the outside of the experience and watching the experience happen.
Speaker: What was that feeling like when you were at Topgolf and all of a sudden,
Speaker: your son comes up to you and says, Mom, we got to go, the house is on fire.
Speaker: That's when everything...
Speaker: almost like time stopped and I was like, what do I do next?
Speaker: And I think usually like in any normal situation, I get very overwhelmed very easily.
Speaker: I'm very high strung.
Speaker: And I think that this is like my brain's way of saying like, okay, we need to take this a step at a time and we need to figure it out.
Speaker: Like my sister, it was so funny.
Speaker: My sister and I got in her car with two of my boys and their best friend.
Speaker: And I was telling you last week, it wasn't until like a couple of days later that I was like,
Speaker: How did all the other teenagers get home?
Speaker: Like it was way later that I even my poor sister in line.
Speaker: It's like 15, 15 year olds home.
Speaker: But my sister was like she was talking to me, but I can tell that she was trying to calm herself down.
Speaker: She's everything's going to be OK.
Speaker: Don't worry, we're going to get this.
Speaker: And at that point, we had a one year old puppy in a crate and we had a five year old cat.
Speaker: And she was she was she kept like repeating over and over again.
Speaker: And she was like,
Speaker: The cat and the dog are going to be okay.
Speaker: Everything is going to be fine.
Speaker: And in my head, I'm like, are you convincing me or are you convincing yourself?
Speaker: I'm like, we'll figure it out when we get there.
Speaker: And the kids were just super quiet in the back and the look of fear was on their face.
Speaker: And I was more worried about how to be there for them.
Speaker: Someone had to be strong because they were looking at me.
Speaker: So someone had to steer the ship.
Speaker: Well, it's hard because there's no playbook for this kind of situation.
Speaker: Yeah, like what happens when your house burns down for dummies?
Speaker: Nope, they didn't make it.
Speaker: But we're going to make that.
Speaker: I think we, honestly, I was like, we should make a website like, you know, Home Fire Survivor, you know, where to turn to for help or like a Facebook group.
Speaker: I'm like, you know, partnering with people or, you know, just offering advice to people because you literally, I had no idea what happened.
Speaker: And now a board up company is coming up to my house instead.
Speaker: They're supposed to board up the house, and I'm on my way to the hospital, and a brother is at the house, and they tell me I can't go back into the house ever again, and I don't know what to do with the mortgage company.
Speaker: I don't know what to do with the insurance company.
Speaker: There's just no...
Speaker: There's no playbook.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, all right.
Speaker: So your son tells you, you rush home.
Speaker: When you get home and you pull up, I remember when I was leaving the scene in an ambulance, I remember looking up.
Speaker: Because I was on the stretch.
Speaker: I was so naturally looking up.
Speaker: But I remember seeing the sky was filled with smoke.
Speaker: Like the whole block was filled with smoke.
Speaker: And I remember seeing like red and blue.
Speaker: Now I live in Chicago.
Speaker: So I saw like the red lights and the red and white lights of the fire...
Speaker: apparatus that were there, but I would see the reflections in the smoke and say, and blue lights in the police, in the police cars that were out there.
Speaker: And that's the images.
Speaker: And I remember like the smell, you know, all the smell.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: And it's kind of crazy because,
Speaker: um we may have snuck into the house oh i totally did and tried to get some stuff out and um i mean it was very unproductive because everything that was not ruined by fire was ruined by smoke or was ruined by yeah and they tell you oh wash your clothes with gain and the smoke smell will come out first of all it doesn't and all it did for me smells like smoke and gain and all that did for me is set up another trigger like i cannot
Speaker: buy gain laundry detergent like we can't have gain scented garbage bags like my wife knows these are a certain anything that says gain stay away from i don't care how much cheaper or more expensive it is or something else you cannot buy gain because because of that trigger but um so i guess when you got to your house
Speaker: What what were you thinking?
Speaker: You know, you you're walking up.
Speaker: You couldn't park close, right?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So it was unusually warm in like for March in Chicago and it was the end of Chicago and it was March 30th.
Speaker: So like I'm going to bounce.
Speaker: Excuse me.
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: I'm going to bounce back and forth because I totally have ADD here.
Speaker: So a lot of people found out on like March 31st or April 1st.
Speaker: And people were like, is this an April Fool's joke?
Speaker: And I'm like, this is a sick joke if it was an April Fool's joke.
Speaker: So we actually had to park three blocks away.
Speaker: And one wonderful thing about my subdivision and my neighborhood is...
Speaker: By the time we got there, we had to park three blocks away.
Speaker: Everybody was out front.
Speaker: There were so many people.
Speaker: It was like a weird victory walk in a sixth sense of the way.
Speaker: We were walking up to our house and people were just, I remember, but I don't remember.
Speaker: Like people were coming up and like hugging us and I was still walking.
Speaker: And then my husband met me and we walked up to the fire chief and the fire chief was like, I'm really sorry.
Speaker: You know, your dog and your cat did not make it.
Speaker: And I was like, oh, my.
Speaker: Is that the first thing they said to you?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: Yes, that was.
Speaker: And then they kind of divided and conquered because it's still a business and they still have to do their punch list.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And my husband had to identify the dog and the cat that were actually in the ambulance.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: They were in the ambulance and they had oxygen on them.
Speaker: And my husband said that it looked like.
Speaker: It happened to them in the suburbs.
Speaker: Right, exactly.
Speaker: Well, not only that, we were... That would happen in Chicago.
Speaker: We were unincorporated, so there were eight trucks that were there.
Speaker: And mind you, right now it sounds like I have a McMansion.
Speaker: Because there were eight fire trucks there, I have a lit, itty-bitty house.
Speaker: Yeah, but even when I was... My house in Chicago, I probably had...
Speaker: five or six different trucks or so.
Speaker: It's crazy.
Speaker: And it was all Chicago.
Speaker: I mean, I know the truck and engine that was closest to my house was actually out on a different call.
Speaker: And so the first responding engine for my fire, I believe, came from Midway Airport, which was...
Speaker: I mean, four or five miles from where my house was.
Speaker: But because it was, I don't know, because there was another call at the time, I got the next available house.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But there was so much traffic.
Speaker: I mean, like, and I lived, I was DJing at a bar at the time.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: On Saturdays that night I took off from the bar to DJ a wedding and the bar was literally two blocks down and so people are coming out of the bar and like walking down the blocks at two o'clock or three o'clock in the morning to make sure That it wasn't you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It was me and the owner who lived a couple doors down the other owner who have a couple you know across the alley across the street so They were trying to see if it was someone it was one of us and it was but
Speaker: It's a weird it just until you go through it.
Speaker: It's really hard to explain.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The thing that I didn't like is that they separated us right away and they looked at me and they're like, well, do you.
Speaker: This is great.
Speaker: I mean, I love how I understand that they have
Speaker: a protocol that they have to go through.
Speaker: But they're like, do you have your homeowner's insurance information?
Speaker: And I'm like, yeah, in there.
Speaker: Because who carries their homeowner's insurance information on them?
Speaker: I'm like, yeah, it's in there.
Speaker: And it's in a lockbox.
Speaker: And it's in my house.
Speaker: But we can't get in there right now.
Speaker: And so now I'm extremely app savvy.
Speaker: Everything is on an app.
Speaker: Everything is on my phone.
Speaker: I can figure out everything.
Speaker: And some of the things that they ask you are, and I forgot to ask you about this.
Speaker: Earlier, they ask you if you keep receipts for things for like years.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm like, oh, well, we have a TV.
Speaker: We got it.
Speaker: And so this is in March.
Speaker: I'm like, well, we just finished our basement.
Speaker: They're like, oh, so you have a new TV in the basement?
Speaker: And I'm like, yes, we do.
Speaker: And they're like, do you still have the receipt?
Speaker: And I'm like.
Speaker: No, do you have the box from it?
Speaker: I'm like, absolutely not.
Speaker: So like some of the stuff that they ask you and then they asked us, which I never thought of before.
Speaker: So maybe this is helping someone out there.
Speaker: They asked us if every six months, if we walk around our house with a video recording device of some sort and take inventory of everything we've had.
Speaker: I have never thought about that ever in my life until this happened.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I was like in, I was across the street at my neighbor's front lawn trying to contact me.
Speaker: insurance and, you know, first of all, proving that you have home and homeowners insurance, otherwise like they wouldn't proceed.
Speaker: And then giving them the insurance information, talking to the board up company and everything was happening really fast, but yet really slow.
Speaker: Like it's like when you're watching TV and someone's standing there and they have everything going in fast motion and you're just kind of like zoning out like that's kind of how it was.
Speaker: Yeah, I know.
Speaker: I never had a deal.
Speaker: It took me five days to get an answer from my insurance company.
Speaker: And it's a whole different nightmare of a situation than you encountered.
Speaker: But I called my insurance company and told me to call my mortgage company.
Speaker: I was like, I'm confused.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Or maybe you're confused, but there is a fire and I need insurance right now.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And, you know, my situation was that the mortgage company
Speaker: while the insurance was escrowed, never paid out the premium.
Speaker: And so I never had to deal with the insurance company, which was horrific because that means nothing.
Speaker: Because you never got any relief.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I had to rebuild from scratch.
Speaker: So what was it like being mom at that moment?
Speaker: Because I would imagine, like, as a mother, all moms want to be, like, there for their husband or there for their kids.
Speaker: What was... And then...
Speaker: the last person on that list, then they're for the dog or the cat or the neighbors, making sure the kids got home from Topgolf.
Speaker: And then you're at the bottom of that list.
Speaker: Processing, I guess.
Speaker: Sometimes you're not even on that list.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What was that experience like when you had to do that?
Speaker: Well, I love how you and I both shared that the one person that you and I both went to after we had our incidents was our moms.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And like later on that night after things calmed down and I was still in I was still in my neighbor's front yard, but they like kept everyone away from me.
Speaker: That's when I called my mom.
Speaker: And that's my my moment that I lost it.
Speaker: And I think we all need our moms, you know, at some point.
Speaker: But and everything that I'm about to say, I told you I was going to be raw and I was going to be honest.
Speaker: My husband did not handle this well at all.
Speaker: I he it messed with him.
Speaker: I don't know if it was the animals, the fire, the everything.
Speaker: But he kind of curled up in a ball and kind of went in a in a bad place for for quite a while.
Speaker: And we were fortunate enough that we we are living with his mom at her house, which is spacious enough in
Speaker: And it's a home and it's kind of bittersweet comforting because the dog that we lost in the fire, my mother-in-law has, it's her sister.
Speaker: So like that's kind of comforting.
Speaker: So that's great.
Speaker: But someone has to steer the ship.
Speaker: And I was kind of just in survival mode and I wanted to make things as normal and as happy and as, I don't know,
Speaker: I was trying to do the best that I could with what I had.
Speaker: Like we lived probably like 10 to 15 minutes away from everyone in our tight knit community.
Speaker: I never said no if my kids wanted to go by their friend's house.
Speaker: Like I was in my car all day long driving back and forth and like I, you know, they were, they never missed like
Speaker: sports activities or anything like that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think it's interesting that you're the third guest on this podcast and every guest actually comes from a moment of struggle and we talk about in detail that moment and all three guests, the comforting call went to mom.
Speaker: And you too.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So me, you, and then John Ehrman told me when he was diagnosed with cancer, the first thing he did was call his mom.
Speaker: And so I think it's interesting.
Speaker: If you, what would you say to your mom today about her being there for you and what it meant for you to call and kind of break down to her at that moment?
Speaker: So when I called my mom, just hearing her voice and her telling me, you know, I am so sorry, but don't worry.
Speaker: Everything is going to be all right.
Speaker: I believed her.
Speaker: And look, everything is okay.
Speaker: And we're going to take it a step at a time.
Speaker: And she kept, almost like she kept setting the pace for me.
Speaker: Like, everything is going to be okay.
Speaker: We're going to do this.
Speaker: And if there was even the slightest, smallest victory, like we celebrated it.
Speaker: Like, oh, yay.
Speaker: You know, like the windows came in or this happened.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She she highlighted the positive and never really brought up the negative.
Speaker: And and I needed that.
Speaker: You know, it's like a defense mechanism.
Speaker: And if I'm half the woman that she is, then I think my kids are going to be kind of lucky.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, I my mother is the rock in our family, you know, and.
Speaker: I think like with the passing of my dad a couple of years ago, like we just became even stronger of a family.
Speaker: And every time I think our family faces a challenge or something like that, I think a family could either come together and, you know, mount up, I guess.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I don't always say that, but like, you know, like they come together and really be the strongest they've ever been or it can shatter a family.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: And we had that happen.
Speaker: You know, with a relative of ours is someone passed away and the family just broke apart over stupidity, you know.
Speaker: And our family always looked at that and just said kind of, that's crazy.
Speaker: I'm like, we'll always be for each other.
Speaker: I hate saying this because I'm... When my dad passed, I said to my dad in the hospital, I said, listen, dad, I'll always be there for mom.
Speaker: And I whispered that to his ear the day, 10 minutes before he passed away.
Speaker: And so, like, you know, I think that being together, those moms are just so important.
Speaker: I don't know how they have the grace or whatever to be that calm force that just kind of offers kind of...
Speaker: you know, direction and and stability in those moments.
Speaker: So it's interesting that mine was the same way.
Speaker: OK, get off of the fire.
Speaker: That's what happens next.
Speaker: Um, so, I mean, it's still kind of like a work in progress, but it's like, it's the rebuilding process.
Speaker: And I don't know about you, but I want to say for my kids and for myself, it's like before the fire and after the fire, like that is a huge, like a BCAD thing.
Speaker: Yes, a hundred percent, a hundred percent.
Speaker: And, um, I mean, when you wake up the next day, I remember, so I had to be escorted to my car that night because there were people that listened like
Speaker: ambulance chasers for lack of better words but there were like contractors all up and down the street and i mean things you don't know if you don't know um that if there was a fireman that was that was escorting me to my car a contractor could not come up to me and talk to me i didn't know that so then it was the fireman that looked at me and he was like you might want to stop at like walmart or target or something and you might want to like pick up like
Speaker: toothpaste and toothbrushes and underwear.
Speaker: And I kind of looked at him and I'm like, oh yeah, we don't have anything.
Speaker: We literally had just as you did, we had the clothes on our back and that was it.
Speaker: And then because of the, because of the way that it was explained to us is because of the chemicals from, it was an electrical fire and because of the chemicals that are in, it's not just water that puts out a fire.
Speaker: There's chemicals in the water.
Speaker: And when mixed with the electrical fire, it actually like disintegrates
Speaker: the remainder of whatever's left in your house.
Speaker: And it was kind of weird because in Erie, because I did go back to the house and especially in the basement where it started, like you saw like stuff start decomposing.
Speaker: It was crazy.
Speaker: So we couldn't get anything.
Speaker: So we thought that insurance was amazing.
Speaker: And they came the next day and they cut us a check for $5,000.
Speaker: And I'm like, wow, this is great.
Speaker: And that was- That's going to be the easiest money that would come.
Speaker: The rest-
Speaker: That was the only easy part and things that they don't tell you like they fight you for everything and rebuilding is a hassle and all of this happened in the thick of COVID.
Speaker: So like now like all of the price first for supplies is like huge.
Speaker: There's you know stuff stuck on boats in the middle of China like you can't get supplies or materials and people don't want to touch your project because it's an insurance based project and
Speaker: So you're rebuilding the same house.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: What does that feel like?
Speaker: I can't even go back to my old house.
Speaker: My husband was like that for a long time.
Speaker: And it's so strange that you say that, Jason, because I do not have an attachment to it.
Speaker: Like, it's just a thing to me.
Speaker: Whereas before it was home, it's not home yet.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And we moved a little bit around to kind of make it more like homey or whatever.
Speaker: I'm starting to, as of recently, I'm starting to walk in and I'm starting to see like what my future is going to be in this house.
Speaker: But, but I'll tell you what, I wouldn't trade anything for these past three years for everything that this fire, this tragedy has taught me.
Speaker: Cause I think that I turned like, this is tragedy has totally turned to triumph for sure.
Speaker: So let's go on that for a second.
Speaker: You're rebuilding your house, but you're also rebuilding myself.
Speaker: Tell me a little bit about what you're doing now, because I think what you're doing right now is pretty cool.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: While at the beginning of the fire, I published my first book and I had a lot of time in solitude.
Speaker: I started writing again and I started just thinking, which is dangerous, right?
Speaker: It could be.
Speaker: And journaling and kind of figuring, figuring stuff out, like, you know what I want to be when I grow up.
Speaker: I started a podcast and the podcast is, it's similar to what you stand for.
Speaker: Like I want to,
Speaker: you know, empower not necessarily just women, but it is a lot of women.
Speaker: But I want to empower people to to try something new, to stand on their own platform.
Speaker: I want to I want to applaud victories, small and large.
Speaker: Like, I definitely want to do that.
Speaker: I want to kind of work with
Speaker: Charities and give things back to people like this fire was so much more than just me and I I want to be a part of making Anyone's tragedy into a triumph.
Speaker: Yeah, I When mine happened the
Speaker: Red Cross came out.
Speaker: And I don't know.
Speaker: Yeah, I never got the Red Cross.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: Well, they came out and I can make a call on that one.
Speaker: But I made a call and they came out to my house and I didn't really take them up.
Speaker: They came and offered, you know, assistance.
Speaker: Like, you know, are you on medication or you need, you know, help getting new medication?
Speaker: Do you need help?
Speaker: with going somewhere and and I came from a really close family we talked about that and so I didn't really need that I didn't have anything but I also had a good family that right was going to help me through this and I had an incredible base of friends and I talk about friend family a lot but one of my one of my closest friends literally drove
Speaker: Halfway across Chicago at 2 o'clock in the morning because he worked at he worked at OEMC which is office of emergency management communication They're the ones who answer 911 He worked there and so he came running over he's like I'll help you, you know He was a suburban fireman at the time, too So he was like, you know, don't worry go to the hospital and get better and we'll figure out the kind of what's going on the house I think and then
Speaker: I mean, we had like family friends who came over and and, you know, brought me I know so embarrassing, but I brought me like money to try to get back the difference between like men and women.
Speaker: We talked about this last week.
Speaker: So I think men have like and I'm not saying this in a negative way at all, but men there they have like a pride that they they're the providers and they are the ones that want to be the givers, not the receivers.
Speaker: My hands were up in the air.
Speaker: I was like, I'll take it all.
Speaker: I have a really hard time with it, especially because I worked in the charity world for a long time.
Speaker: And I was like, I'm the one getting money or getting money or giving money to make lives better.
Speaker: I'm not the one who's receiving it.
Speaker: And someone once said something to me.
Speaker: And actually, she's a politician who's a very, very dear friend of mine.
Speaker: And she said to me, she's like, Jason.
Speaker: If you don't let people help you, you are depriving them of the opportunity to be helpful.
Speaker: Correct.
Speaker: And I never thought about it that way.
Speaker: And I'm like, well, I'm still embarrassed that someone has to help me.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: But, you know, it's a really interesting way to look at it where, like, you know, you're giving that opportunity to someone who's
Speaker: to be a good person.
Speaker: Correct.
Speaker: And so I was very fortunate to have so many really good friends and family members who kind of helped out at that point.
Speaker: So it was difficult.
Speaker: So tell us about, what's the name of your podcast?
Speaker: So my podcast is called Commanding Conversations.
Speaker: There you go.
Speaker: And it's Kim, like Kim-manding, like my name.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: And then tell us a little bit about your publishing.
Speaker: So I started a publishing company because I figured everyone has a story within them and I want to help leave that legacy behind.
Speaker: So you can find us at emberentertainment.com and we have tons of packages that we can work with you with.
Speaker: I have illustrators and editors and...
Speaker: I mean, we're doing awesome.
Speaker: What do you publish?
Speaker: So I publish children's books, but I also we ghostwrite as well for adult fiction.
Speaker: And we have a few non fictions in the work right now.
Speaker: So I mean, pretty much you have a story.
Speaker: We can make it happen.
Speaker: Well, I think it's interesting that you have Ember Entertainment.
Speaker: I have Phoenix.
Speaker: There's all these like fire related.
Speaker: You know why?
Speaker: Because you rise.
Speaker: We're all rising from the ashes, you know?
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: So what's next for you?
Speaker: So next is moving on.
Speaker: I'm wanting to definitely build that platform on my podcast.
Speaker: I have so many people I reached out just for people for with inspirational stories and I am overwhelmed with the response that I've gotten and I love it and I'm so grateful and I'm ready to get people's legacy and people's stories out there and I kind of want to help be a little part of leaving a little positive positivity behind.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: If you can go back and kind of look at your whole experience, is there one word that kind of wraps up the experience or you can describe your experience?
Speaker: Perspective.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I love the word perspective.
Speaker: So one thing that that would bother me at first is people would say, oh, my gosh, it's such a tragedy.
Speaker: That's so awful.
Speaker: This is so horrible.
Speaker: This is the worst thing that could ever happen to someone.
Speaker: And it really got out of my skin.
Speaker: And I was like, wait a second.
Speaker: I'm lucky, I'm so lucky.
Speaker: And you're probably like thinking this girl's crazy, how could she be lucky?
Speaker: And what are the chances that I would be out of my house on a random Tuesday when the- And your family.
Speaker: And my family, everybody was out of the house.
Speaker: You were all safe.
Speaker: And we were all safe.
Speaker: And I'm late for everything.
Speaker: And it was a random Tuesday during spring break.
Speaker: And yes, unfortunately, our bulldog and our cat didn't make it.
Speaker: I get it.
Speaker: But what happens if it was in the, like the TV sparked and when the TV sparked it, it, it,
Speaker: vascularly ignited a fire within our house and the fire chief said within 90 seconds everything was up in smoke.
Speaker: What if that happened?
Speaker: Because what I forgot to tell you is that my wonderful teenage children took the batteries out of our smoke detector and our carbon monoxide detector for their Xbox remotes.
Speaker: I cannot believe you're telling me this story because literally I did I'm kind of like that teenage boy I got the same mentality I took the batteries out of my remote and actually it's funny because I decided that I wasn't that I didn't want other people to be in that same boat clearly you did not watch the story on ABC News about me but
Speaker: But they came and did a whole story on my fire.
Speaker: We went back to the house.
Speaker: It was really actually emotional.
Speaker: We actually were able to get into part of the house.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: And it was all in conjunction with the American Red Cross on making sure that you have working smoke detectors.
Speaker: And I kind of became the spokesperson for the Red Cross for a long time on home fire prevention and smoke detectors and why you should never take the batteries out of your remote control.
Speaker: And my mom said to me, she's like, why would you go on TV and tell everyone how stupid you are or were?
Speaker: Because you know what?
Speaker: How many other people are probably like, you know what?
Speaker: Maybe this is a sign and maybe I should go replace those batteries right now.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: You live in a nice, great neighborhood.
Speaker: I lived in a great neighborhood in Chicago.
Speaker: The last thing I thought would happen would be a fire.
Speaker: It doesn't happen to people like us.
Speaker: And you know, when I was talking to, when Everod cast me from Tale 5, interviewed me on my first episode, he said to me, um,
Speaker: something about, we were talking about the neighborhood and how I left my DJ equipment in the car overnight.
Speaker: And he was like, I don't know if I want to leave my city sticker in the car overnight, let alone anything of value.
Speaker: But where I grew up, it was, and I had that house at the time.
Speaker: It was super safe.
Speaker: Every other house was either a police or a fireman or a school teacher or a park district.
Speaker: It was all city workers.
Speaker: I knew everybody on my block.
Speaker: Every person on the block knew me and I knew them and I had their number and they had my number.
Speaker: And fires, crazy crimes, they didn't happen.
Speaker: We had a murder in our neighborhood.
Speaker: And it was like everyone knew about that one murder once.
Speaker: And it was so crazy.
Speaker: And he made fun of me for saying, you know, fun things didn't happen in our neighborhood like that.
Speaker: But it's the last thing you think about.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Because it happens to other people.
Speaker: It doesn't happen to us.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: I didn't know that about the remote either.
Speaker: Boys, I tell you.
Speaker: So I will tell you the moral of the story is make sure you have a battery and a smoke detector.
Speaker: Or just double check anyway if you have teenagers.
Speaker: Now they have the smoke detectors.
Speaker: They already did 10-year ones.
Speaker: And the funny thing is as I became a...
Speaker: more vocal advocate for having checking your your smoke detectors first alert sent me a box of smoke detectors with the with a barrier yeah but where do i put them
Speaker: Everywhere.
Speaker: Well, I wasn't, I wasn't, I didn't have a home.
Speaker: You're like, you know what?
Speaker: Stocking stuffers.
Speaker: There you go.
Speaker: I was like in my mom's house.
Speaker: I'm like, is there a real estate agent or a property developer who could send me a house?
Speaker: I would appreciate it.
Speaker: Yeah, you could be like Oprah, you get a smoke detector, you get a smoke detector.
Speaker: And that's basically, now it's like, you know, my friends buy me batteries, my friends buy me, I can't even tell you how many fire extinguishers I have at my house.
Speaker: I mean, they all buy me that.
Speaker: So it's kind of interesting.
Speaker: So, all right.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Oh, back to you were talking about perspective.
Speaker: I think if I can go back, I think my word is persistence.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: Persistence.
Speaker: Because the difference in my story, well, I guess maybe not, is when the insurance thing happened.
Speaker: And I just felt like the fire was a big thing.
Speaker: big punch and knockout whatever and then the insurance company or the mortgage company I'm paying the insurance company was another punch another knockout you know and to me it was just like I was starting a new business and I had payroll and I had to figure out how to get money for payroll that was a knockout yeah it was a big punch you know I just put out I just put down a down payment on the engagement ring for my wife at the time so I
Speaker: or my girlfriend at the time.
Speaker: And that was a punch.
Speaker: I just felt like I was getting punched and knocked down at every instance.
Speaker: And to me, it was all about the persistence of getting back up and that mentality where you say to yourself, and I remember saying this like physically, I remember crying and saying to myself,
Speaker: This is not going to get the best of me.
Speaker: That's right.
Speaker: You know, I'm going to beat this.
Speaker: And I have the friends.
Speaker: I have the family.
Speaker: And I have the attitude where I'm not going to let this take me down.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: And so I think my word would have been persistence.
Speaker: But definitely perspective makes a lot of sense as well, too.
Speaker: But yeah, so thank you for being here.
Speaker: Thank you for telling your story.
Speaker: I know that it's not easiest thing to tell your story over and over and over again.
Speaker: But thank you for sharing and thank you for offering perspective on it.
Speaker: So we tie it all together.
Speaker: So I invite you to check out commanding conversations.
Speaker: They can probably all platforms.
Speaker: Okay, all platforms.
Speaker: And then after I come back to Phoenix and listen again, anywhere else that people should check you out?
Speaker: So we also, if you are interested, if you have a story out there that you think that, well, you know that it should be shared, I want to support you and you can find us at emberentertainment.com.
Speaker: Thank you again for joining us and we'll be back in two weeks.
Speaker: A little bit less because I was a little late this time, but that's okay.
Speaker: All right, thanks again for joining us.
Speaker: Thank you.
