Transcript
Speaker: Hey, it's Igor. Today I was on a run and to some inspiration hit me. And I thought, I want to record a podcast. So I pulled out my phone and hit the record button and just recorded around 15 minutes ah of me just ah and i'm talking.
Speaker: and just unfiltered stream of sorts and I enjoyed it a lot so I came home and tried to play it and realized that yeah obviously the quality was awful ah because I was you know running the outside there was a wind so I decided to do another recording ah but now in a home environment so this is ah still going to be my unfiltered raw stream of thoughts so when i was ah on a run something really clicked me um i realized that in the past i have been carrying around so much hate
Speaker: And you can't even imagine how much energy it takes to hold onto you know that stuff. And unless you really stop and think about it, you will never notice how much it's draining you. I used to think that ah you know happiness was something I'd find when I go to a new job or when I moved to a new place.
Speaker: ah When I, you know, get the new apartment um that I will be happier, you know, when I buy the new car, the things will be better. But the truth is so the happiness. ah It was, you know, never about these things. I, you know, I moved to a new place. I moved to a new country. I got a new car and Something was always missing, ah you know, they I was always so thinking that okay. Yeah, maybe be there's ah One more thing that I need to get to become happy ah But then I just realized that happiness isn't really about these things so and What even more important that happiness isn't ah in the hand of other people and the happiness ah
Speaker: It was always about being kinder to myself and I really liked that. I was afraid to speak up, to express how I really felt, you know, before I even knew what those feelings were. To really express myself, I had to figure out who am I, you know?
Speaker: ah And sometimes I realized I had this hard opinions about things, about to ah yeah you know like of what success, ah what is good, what is bad.
Speaker: um you know And when I stopped to think about why do I have this opinions, I really you know had nothing to say. you know I didn't have anything really deep. And that's when I started to think that maybe that burned my opinions. you know There were someone else's opinions. And ah I started to really dig deeper and thought,
Speaker: You know, oh shit, but who am I really? You know, and there is no shortcut to this. ah um you You can't really just answer this question, you know, simply, and ah you can't really figure out the answer in a short period of time. There is no ah way to, you know, to do some um training in in one day and figure out ah who you are. um I think that the answer to this question is more like a journey and this journey actually it doesn't end until
Speaker: Well, we die. So there is no point to in trying to rush it. ah Because the destination itself is not really a goal. Because so if the destination would be the goal, then you can just die today and yo you're done. you know But obviously it is not. It's really about the the journey.
Speaker: And of course, we set goals. ah We want to build wealth. We want to buy a house. ah We want to break out of generational patterns. And this topic is really close to me. ah But along the way, as we are working towards these goals, so we are also improving ourselves. And what I really realized, I think it's to be honest quite recently, is that that's all what it is ah about. you know that It's all about improving ourselves. So all these goals that you have, but it's very important to have these goals. But the thing is that ah you you reach these goals, you set these goals, you work towards these goals just because you want to be better you. And that is the ultimate dream. And I used to see comfort all the time.
Speaker: always resisting you know any kind of discomfort. um And I started to really like read ah literature, ah listening to podcasts, and started to explore this topic of how actually comfort is really killing you and how discomfort is actually what is building you and what what actually I enjoy so and of course ah you know you can't really say that you enjoy discomfort directly but I think it's more about that you enjoy yourself you enjoy ah you know being in this um uncomfortable situation and
Speaker: I just realized that this is a dream. And, you know, my happiness was never in someone else's hands. ah It was always in my hands. And the the happiness isn't just some sort of a destination. It's just a way of thinking. It's basically a decision. And I think that until you get that, you will be miserable. Sometimes you will fail.
Speaker: and You will, that's ah trust me, that's inevitable. You you will fail. and The only way to never fail is to just die. And then then, yeah, you will never fail again. But what is important is that what are you going to do after you fail? I think that is... ah It's so important. You know, people focus on the failure itself so much. They just... ah
Speaker: ah forget that actually you know life continues and of you you fail you know over and over. And you are the person that figures out how to move forward after you fail it. And I think when you start to look at things like that,
Speaker: and You don't really think about the failure as something negative. Because you understand that um if I'm the person that is capable of failing and then just continuing, just moving forward, then ah yeah the failure is just ah and just an interesting story to tell. and you know I think that Jocko Williams so once said that thinking is an excuse. you know When you are thinking, you are not acting. and I can relate a lot. I like to think.
Speaker: and Sometimes it can be really scary to act, so I you know start to overthink. Sometimes I think that overthinking is my second name. ah And that can be overwhelming. And what I did is that I would overwhelm myself on purpose.
Speaker: Because when you're overwhelmed, you don't have to deal with yourself. ah Because, you know, there's no much going on. You're just to basically in this state of overwhelm of all these decisions that you need to make. And you're not making that. And then you can't really fail, right? So this is basically, it's a fear that is expressed.
Speaker: in this overthinking situation. And I think it's just ah the way how you distract yourself. That's what happened with me, that I would put myself in these situations, like ah overthinking, overwhelming situations, just distract myself to just ah think that oh there are so many things to go ah go and I just don't have time to think about. ah
Speaker: Who am I? what What am I doing with is my life, you know? And it's not, you know, I wasn't really living. I feel like I was mostly like surviving. I have a son and he is two years old now. And to be honest, honest I are really thankful for him. ah He helps me understand myself much better and he helps me face my own demons.
Speaker: and conform confront my, you know, childhood traumas, ah you know, all the shit that is ah going on in my head. And I look at him and he's just living in the moment and he's just enjoying his life and, you know, I feel like I forgot how to do that. Maybe I never knew, I never knew maybe, I don't know, but it's so beautiful.
Speaker: you know just to observe, just to see how he... you know can find joy in such simple things. And it is very simple, you know really. You just need to stop and notice what's around you, what you see, what you feel, what you touch, what you smell, and what you taste. That's ah actually um some advice that my friend gave to me ah to practice this. So it's five sense meditation. So it's five things you can see, four things you can touch,
Speaker: three things you can smell, two things you can hear and one thing that you can taste and It's actually very fun exercise to do. Sometimes through the day you just randomly stop and just do this thing and it can really bring you back from overthinking, from thinking about the past, thinking about the future, really bring you back to the moment. Because we are constantly looking for something else.
Speaker: The world tries to convince us that we are not enough, that we need to do more, be more. ah But you know what? You are enough. Right now, as you are, you are enough. You are beautiful as you are.
Speaker: you are enough as you are and you have always been enough. Don't listen to you know the social media yeah or maybe if you are unfortunate so much that people around you are trying to convince you otherwise but just know that you are enough.
Speaker: and I thought I have to stay within certain boundaries in my life, like, you know, that I was born and there is like certain rules in life that I need to follow strictly, I need to be inside these boundaries, ah try to not really ah push them too much. ah And, ah you know, I then realized that That's such a limiting belief and that I realized that I can set those boundaries. I can decide what they are. I can change them. And the you know as soon as you do that, as soon as you make that decision, you take control. And I used to think that the only some things ah that I do actually count.
Speaker: But in reality, everything counts. Every second of life matters. Whatever I decide to do, if I decide to go for a run or sit on the couch, it all adds up. Every choice shapes who am I, every decision I make, every decision that I don't make, everything counts.
Speaker: And I think that the biggest realization for me was that no one is going to save me. No one is coming for me, you know? ah Not my mom, not my dad, nobody. Nobody is going to come and tell me that, you know, in the morning, like, oh, you can do better, you know? Or, you'd yeah, you can do everything. Just need to try to do harder. Nobody is going to push me, nobody. No one is going to push me.
Speaker: Everyone cares about themselves. And that's just how it is. And that is a beautiful thing. you know it's There is nothing bad about that. Everybody needs to care about themselves. Because if you forget how to care about yourself, you will suffer. And you can't make people around you happy if you don't know how to be happy yourself.
Speaker: And this is the very hard lesson and that I needed to learn and I spent all my life learning this lesson. And I'm still i yeah you know like i'm still in a process. It's a journey, remember. So what decision are you going to make today?
Speaker: Right now, this second, who do you decide to be? Be kind to yourself. yeah Love yourself. Remember that the beautiful things are always uphill. And don't be afraid of the struggle. Be afraid of staying comfortable. Thanks for listening.
