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Crushes Part 1: Half-Eaten Chocolates
35 Plays23 days ago
Before real relationships, there were TV crushes, Tuxedo Mask standards, compatibility tests, and one very romantic box of chocolates that had already been half eaten. In Part 1 of their crushes conversation, Janice and Suzanne look back at the awkward, funny, and quietly formative ways they learned about love, from cartoons, TVB, boy bands, school crushes, and the complete lack of “the talk” at home. It’s expectations vs. reality in full 90s/Y2K form: childhood butterflies, confusing signals, big feelings, and the slow realization that love was probably supposed to feel less like guessing and more like being seen.
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Transcript
Introduction to Crushes and Dating
00:00:06
Speaker
Hello, welcome back to Fresh Off The Bluff. I'm Janice. And I'm Suzanne. And today we have a very special episode that is very close to our hearts. And i think me and Suzanne have always talked about this. And we, I don't know, maybe we're just boy crazy, who knows. Or we just, we love love or we love relationship talk. But we're talking about crushes and dating today.
Influence of Media on Relationship Perceptions
00:00:31
Speaker
How do you feel about this topic? I think I was actually pretty nervous to talk about this topic.
00:00:35
Speaker
a little nervous, a little nostalgic, um probably going through my brain about, you know, how everything affected when we were young up until adulthood.
00:00:47
Speaker
probably yeah Yeah, I agree. Because, you know, everything that I based off of what attracted me to a person was based on I don't know, this is really bad, watching television, you know, watching whether it's watching cartoons, watching our favorite, you know, teen shows, or watching Hong Kong shows. I grew up watching TVB, and I think you did too, right?
00:01:13
Speaker
I did, but it was mainly, I mean, yeah, it was some dramas, but mainly it was The the Monkey King.
00:01:24
Speaker
So... Romance from The Monkey King? Yeah.
Family Zodiac Connections
00:01:28
Speaker
Not really going to find my my, you know, person that I might be attracted to in there.
00:01:36
Speaker
Maybe the maybe the the big guy, you know, the big pig Buddha guy. Chupac why? Wait, Chupac guy. don't be Chupac why.
00:01:47
Speaker
I ended up marrying the big pig, but ah the he's a chef. Yeah. Is your husband, is he Year the Pig?
00:01:58
Speaker
Yeah, Year the Pig. I didn't know that. Yeah, Year the Pig, just like our daughter. That's so cute. That is so cute. Sorry, I did not know that. So you have two piggies in your family. Yeah. And that's actually, it was actually, it's kind of nice because my my my father's also a dragon and I'm a dragon. Yeah. So to think that, you know, my husband's the same as my daughter is kind of also sweet.
00:02:24
Speaker
That is really sweet. Yeah. Okay. So sidetrack for a moment here. I have, so you married the pig. I married the cow.
00:02:37
Speaker
Because my husband's what he's or the ox or whatever, right? My husband's the ox and my son is also an ox. Well, your son is also an ox too. But yeah, I have two oxes and I have one piggy.
00:02:48
Speaker
So she's like obviously the special one. She's the only pig in the house. But yeah, I have two oxes. So that's so funny. You married the pig in the Monkey King and I married the ox.
First Crushes and Media Influence
00:02:58
Speaker
Oh my gosh, the ox with his eyebrows? Now that you're thinking about it, yeah. now so So good.
00:03:06
Speaker
Yeah, so good. ease So what was your when? When? What? Who? Was your first crush? I think early elementary, maybe grade four.
00:03:20
Speaker
Grade four. Okay. or grade four because Grade four or five, because I think that's when we start having school dances, right? Grade four. Okay. So your first crush was like a human then?
00:03:33
Speaker
Definitely was a human. Okay. Okay. Wait a second. All right. She's, she's thinking about it more. Okay. Tuxedo mask. Me too. Yeah!
00:03:43
Speaker
Tuxedo Mask! This was not planned. I swear to God, this was not planned. But, I mean, Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon. Prince Darian, Tuxedo Mask. Say no more. Yeah. Dreamboat. Yep.
00:03:56
Speaker
And yes, people, you know, he is the OG. You cannot replace him with Genu from K-pop Demon Hunters. Although he is also very handsome in the anime world, how they created him. But no, Prince Darian, Tuxedo Mask.
Impact of Upbringing on Relationship Expectations
00:04:12
Speaker
wins 100% all the time. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, I didn't even think about that. yeah That's all was like, so your first was a human? Yes, no, definitely tuxedo mask.
00:04:25
Speaker
What was your expectations about dating, about having a relationship with someone? What was your ideal person? Ideal. Hmm.
00:04:39
Speaker
I mean, obviously it changed throughout through childhood into adulthood, but okay. Honestly, first of all, I didn't really have too much to base off of because i grew up in a very classic Asian household where the father was very strict and, um, you know, the mother did her duties and we didn't really have much conversation, let's say. oh Yeah. So,
00:05:09
Speaker
My main ah memories of my father, who typically, you know, you would have an example of what you should look for in a husband or a partner.
00:05:22
Speaker
i didn't really have too much to base off of because I didn't have too much of a relationship growing up. When I was with your father, yeah with my father. Yeah. When I was really young, you know, he would be the He would be the person who works all the time and he worked so hard overtime all the time and that was That was basically, you know, he had to make money for the house. So I guess that's kind of an idea that I had in my in my mind, but not so much. I don't really, honestly, i couldn't say for sure, but um I didn't really have a full on conversation with him until I was about 15 years old, 16 years old, when I had like a heart to heart, which is the first time I was like, wow, this is my this is my father, you know? Was the heart-to-heart like about relationships or it's just something?
00:06:13
Speaker
Oh, really? It was. The heart-to-heart was, yeah, the first conversation, real heart-to-heart conversation was about relationships because I was just so, I was so devastated about a breakup.
00:06:29
Speaker
And I was just so sad because it was my first real, i guess it was my first real breakup that it really hit me in the heart.
Realizations about Partner Qualities
00:06:37
Speaker
And so I was up late in the kitchen and I'm never gonna forget it. And I was kind of like to myself, I was quiet and I was crying a little bit maybe. And my father came in and he asked me like, oh, everything okay? And and I said, oh, yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about it. And everyone was basically gone to sleep or getting ready for bed. So the house was really quiet. And he just sat with me.
00:07:01
Speaker
And... Oh, don't cry. So sweet. Yeah, that was that was probably the first real connection that we had.
00:07:12
Speaker
And it was it was based on relationships. It was based on a breakup. That's really nice. Yeah, I get emotional about it because... He was really hard growing up.
00:07:23
Speaker
ah He was really, he's a very, he's a lovely person, but he was very rough around the edges. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry.
00:07:35
Speaker
It wasn't planning on it. But when you brought it up, like, oh was it about dating? And I was thinking, oh my gosh, yeah, that was the first. Yeah. Anyway, so, you know, after, perhaps after that conversation, then I started thinking like, okay, well, these are the characteristics I would like husband, A, B, C, D, but I was quite a bit older. So...
00:07:54
Speaker
Going back to elementary school, probably what I based it off of was like hook characters from the TV screen. Expectations were basically like probably That classic falling in love. Everything is so easy. It's so easy to fall in love, you know, and the boy will probably ignore you a little bit or be, you know, a little bit callous towards you, but that's okay because underneath they'll probably love you.
00:08:26
Speaker
um That's probably the first thing that I can think of when we were young that I learned, quote unquote, about what a boy in a relationship, what it would look like or, you know.
00:08:39
Speaker
That's so nice. And that's so nice that you kind of got that expectations of like what qualities from your parents that you would like to see in a partner. i don't know if I got that. i think a lot of me was like what not to do.
00:08:55
Speaker
For me, was a lot of like what not to do. And I think it was important because, you know, to think about what we're, you know, what attracted us to someone versus what we're looking for in a partner. Our generation was growing up through TV. Our this millennial generation was about, you know, getting learning a lot from television because our parents were just really busy yeah working and it's not their fault. there's just They're just busy working a lot. And at the same time, they didn't also know how to communicate with us either.
00:09:29
Speaker
Again, being a new country, you know, and just trying to make ends meet, it's not like they had friends to talk about like, oh, I think my daughter's going through i think my child is going through this. You know, how should we talk about them? You know, the...
00:09:44
Speaker
Oh, that's another thing too. Like thinking back to go, if I'm watching like some of my favorite kid television shows, like Boy Meets World, I don't know, like Sabrina. Every grownup or guardian has the talk with them.
00:10:01
Speaker
We never got the talk, even when I watched Beethoven 1 or 2. And one of the kids, I kid you not. Yeah, I love that movie, by the way. Grew up on those films. And he there's this one scene where the youngest girl asks her father, where do babies come from? And again, didn't understand why that was such a funny scene or why the father makes such a stink-eyed face. Like, how do I tackle this?
00:10:27
Speaker
this type of topic. And I think because I saw that reaction, i was like, I'm going to go do it too. What do you mean you're going to go do it? So you asked your father? went and asked my parents. Yeah, I went. I just went to see if they would give the same reaction.
00:10:42
Speaker
So I went and I went, where did the baby's come from? I think my father said, ask my mother. And then I asked my mom. but And then my mom gave the, you know,
00:10:55
Speaker
like this grinning face I'm like why is it so funny I'm just like huh they did it too I'm like I just didn't I think I thought I understood I'm like I understand that it takes a man and a woman to be one but I didn't understand why it was like so funny and like or why were they were so hesitant to tell me the story or what it actually takes and I'm like is it like watering the plants like yeah birds and the bees bees exactly right I didn't I didn't go for ah the guy that everybody likes. I think that I will say that was my one trait where I'm like, I don't want to like everything that everybody else likes.
00:11:33
Speaker
That was an early trait that i understood that I wanted for myself. I mean, I know I wanted something different and I want something that's for me and that's mine. i just didn't know what that was just yet. But when did you feel like you found that person that gave you a glimpse of the qualities that you're looking for from your mom from your dad?
00:11:56
Speaker
Oh, for my but the conversation from my father. Yeah. or like Or anything, like when you start to be like, oh, these are the characteristics or qualities I want in a partner. Okay. there was Just like you, there was a lot of things that I knew that I didn't want because of my because of my my parents.
00:12:16
Speaker
But I grew to learn like why those characteristics were there, like why he was so callous and why he was so angry all the time was because we grew up in such i I would say at the time it was a very racist community, at least what I had experienced and my father had experienced at his workplace and what I had experienced in school. So obviously just like him, I had created a front to be a little bit more callous and I didn't understand that as a child.
00:12:46
Speaker
So growing up, I guess the first person that really saw the characteristics I was probably around in my early 20s. And I think that was the very first time that I was thinking to myself like, okay, these are the traits that I would be looking for. Someone who was very stable, who knew what he wanted and got it.
00:13:12
Speaker
but I felt that love behind the doors. Just like in that moment that I had the one-on-one conversation with my father, it was private, it was not in the open, not obvious, but it was just for me and him.
00:13:25
Speaker
And I think that's what really drew me to this person was that he wasn't an obviously out outwardly positive or happy person, which is so funny because that's what I ended up marrying.
00:13:38
Speaker
am marrying my mother over my father, actually. Let's be honest here. There's so many moments where I i have told my husband, i married my mother. That's so funny.
00:13:50
Speaker
Yeah. And then, I mean, obviously there are moments where like, okay, no, I married my father. So maybe it's like a nice blend of the two of them. But yeah. Anyway. Yeah. So I was probably like my early twenties when I first met somebody that really had the characteristics of what I was looking for in a partner.
Importance of Communication in Relationships
00:14:07
Speaker
Perhaps. How about you? I think the reason why I fangirled a lot was because i didn't want to be disappointed in reality. Yeah. You know, like it was just funner to imagine and dream. And I was such a i was such a daydreamer, even being in school. Like I was just I didn't enjoy going to school, um obviously being the only Asian kid in my class. um I mean, I had fun with all my friends and stuff, but there'd be moments when just didn't want to mentally be there. So I would just daydream just to escape.
00:14:46
Speaker
And I still find myself doing that today. And I think I just, I created that habit because I'm like, oh, I just don't want to be disappointed in something else. So just be more fun to daydream. And especially because if I, when I go over to my friend's place and I see how their parents interact with each other, i honestly, I kid you not, I would just be like, is this like a Caucasian thing? Am I, cause mine's not like that i at all. And then even growing up watching like like Hong Kong shows and seeing, even when they create the characters, there's like none of that in the mother father. So I just thought, I'm like, that's not, I don't know if I really want that, but of course, but it's so different. Cause when you watch Asian dating, like when they're young,
00:15:30
Speaker
it's like so different. The male is so gentleman and it's like, um, they, there's so much of, you know, trying to court, the courting process is so different. The dating process is so different compared to like reality. But then once they're married, it's like all sparks goes out the window.
00:15:50
Speaker
Right. And there was just none of that. And I just thought, I'm like, well, I don't know if I would want that. And then I felt that my role, i didn't i stopped thinking about what qualities that I'll i'll be looking for. i just thought what I need to do to be attractive for other people.
00:16:09
Speaker
I need to be obedient. I need to be able to provide. i need to have a reason for them to come home to me by the end the day. And by that, I'd be like, cook clean and be like the housewife.
00:16:23
Speaker
right that was That was, yeah, right? The duties kind of like, you know, what your mom not saying like, that's what she strived for. But that's just kind of like what happens, right? So you're like, Oh, I need to be like that to like, have a husband. Like, look, I can do this. And then I need to make sure, you know, my in laws like me too, because look, I can cook clean, i I'll be a great mom, I'd be a great wife.
00:16:43
Speaker
That was, you know, just trying to mold myself in that category. and Not saying that it's like a bad thing, but I was just so focused on molding myself because I thought no one else is really going to like anything else except if I don't meet these categories.
00:17:00
Speaker
I mean, it makes sense because you're exposed to that type of relationship through the screen from so from so early on. And just like you, you know... if we don't have that example in front of us, because my parents, I never saw them hold hands. I never saw them kiss. There was like no form of affection.
Experiences of Racism and Loneliness
00:17:20
Speaker
I'm sure there was in some way, somehow, somewhere. We just never saw, I mean, on vacation, they would hold hands, but that was it. I think that was the, that was the only time that we would ever see them hold hands.
00:17:32
Speaker
but probably because it was like, whew, we have no responsibilities to like go to work here. and We can just focus on ourselves and our children. Let's enjoy this time together. And then they came back to each other.
00:17:45
Speaker
I think that's something that I saw a lot from them is like, once we hit reality, it's we're back on the grind, you know, and that was something that in a relationship, I guess,
00:17:56
Speaker
Work hard. That's that's what I really saw. It was like, you have to work hard in a relationship. You have to be accepting in a relationship. You need to work hard for the family in a relationship. I mean, obviously, yes, all things completely true, but you don't also have to forget each other.
00:18:12
Speaker
Right. and I think that's, that's something that my husband and I work very hard on is we don't forget about each other. Just like that was the one thing I knew that I didn't want to do when I was young watching that. was like, but I don't want that. I want, I want to be loved. I want affection and I want, you know,
00:18:31
Speaker
physical touch and i want you to be the same yeah we want like all of it we want the whole thing we're not being greedy here it's just that's what balance everything yes right i i'm exactly the same way because now so going back to your original question so like what qualities that i would look for or when i first got it was when wouldn't i meet someone and they would, think, recognize my efforts and then say, I'm with you. Like, I'm right there with you and willing to do, you know, be right there with you. And that's like, oh, okay. Like, he doesn't just want to sit back and do nothing about it. He's willing to go through their journey with me. And I think that's what really what it is. It's not just about, you know, whether if they're, you know, good looking or like funny or smart or, has an education, but if they're willing to accept me and willing to go through the motions with me, I think that was really important.
00:19:27
Speaker
And I mean, I saw bits of that throughout my life when I was whether dating someone or meeting someone briefly. And I'm sure there's a lot of guys that are partners that have, you know, those qualities, but I think it's safe to say that I married what I wanted. So, oh yeah. And I think you did too.
00:19:47
Speaker
so oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. so congratulations to our husbands. Yeah. Pats on the back. Pats on the back. Yeah. Very good. They're very good.
00:19:58
Speaker
I think one thing that was really, really big for me um that I was lacking in childhood that i sought for in a relationship that I got in the end was um communication.
00:20:09
Speaker
and the connection through communication, because i didn't get that at all when we were kids. There was like zero communication. Throughout childhood. It was just non-existent. So when I was going through all of the hard times that I was going through in elementary school, all of the bullying that I experienced, I had nobody to talk to.
00:20:29
Speaker
i would go home. I remember I would just go to my room and I would cry and feel so alone because I had nobody to talk to.
School Crushes and Unrequited Love
00:20:37
Speaker
Yeah. Right? so i think it all that was one thing like Chinese.
00:20:43
Speaker
Oh yeah. I mean, that was the basis of it. That was the, that was the basis of why I was bullied in the first place. And, um, you know, um and then and in middle school, high school being called a a racial slur, being called the chink and, you know, it was a very outwardly racist.
00:21:02
Speaker
And I knew that because I didn't see myself in my classmates. Um, I didn't see blonde hair. I didn't see blue eyes. I didn't see pale skin. I saw darker skin, jet black jetblack hair, dark brown eyes in the mirror. And I just could not see my reflection in anybody that I surrounded myself with.
00:21:25
Speaker
But the biggest thing was I wanted somebody that I could really talk to that would feel like home. And that was one thing that for sure, like that really drew me to my husband is that when I spoke to him, I felt like I had known him for a lifetime. I felt like, wow, I was just in the center of everything for him and that he was 100 percent there and um available to me, listening to me, really engaged with me. And it was just spark. It was just like this really bright spark that I needed like really deep down in my heart because it wasn't what I had received at all throughout my entire childhood. And it would just really, really almost grounded me.
00:22:11
Speaker
you know? Yeah. Yeah. Almost healed. Right? all Almost like was healing for my childhood. All the past trauma was like, wow, I'm being seen. you know, I'm being seen. I think that was really important. I felt, I, I, I felt the same way too. And,
00:22:31
Speaker
It's not like, you know, I wanted to take a step back when you say you're going through all those heartaches and you're like crying and you're trying to, you know, go through your emotions because first of all, I just want to say like, I'm so sorry that you went through, you know, those racial times of people just judging you because.
00:22:48
Speaker
Although ah it happened to me, I don't think it happened to me at your level. I knew people would obviously look at me and be like, oh where are you from? And like things about like my culture and they would be like polite about it But, you know, deep down, knew boys wouldn't like me in elementary school or or high school. Boys would like, you know, other people or my friends. And I would be, I would just be the wingman. I would just be like the third wheel. I would just be, you know, the connector to like,
00:23:17
Speaker
help my friends get the boys that they like. And I would just be the friend. I really was. I was just be the friend there. And that didn't, I didn't have a lot of confidence growing up as well too. So yeah, I would cry because there'd be no one I could talk to. i wouldn't talk to my best friends about like, you know, why I feel the way I feel. Like they would never understand, of course.
00:23:38
Speaker
And yeah, it was just really sad. So then that's where I use like, you know, the escape time. I would just watch shows and just daydream and think about, you know, one day what my partner could be. And of course, like growing up in Squamish, there was a lot, there was no like Chinese guys as well too. There was a lot of like more Asian girls like me and you, like Chinese girls, but there wasn't a lot of Chinese boys that I would meet or be friends with. I think it was just me and you. And thankfully, we found each other.
00:24:07
Speaker
But in high school, took many years it took many years. years. I think we didn't, I think in our senior year is when we slowly just started opening up to each other. This is also very important. Like you and I didn't really open up to each other about, you know, did you ever feel this way? Did you ever feel that way? You know, until probably after high school, because we were both, we were both dating at the time.
00:24:32
Speaker
So we were both so immersed in our relationships and hoping those guys would be the one. Silly of us, you know, we're 16, but we're already thinking of, oh my gosh, we could marry these guys. Like, what were we thinking?
00:24:49
Speaker
Totally. And I think maybe it was also that feeling of like, did you get enough attention as a child? Because all of a sudden someone's giving you attention and then it's kind of like, oh, they're giving me attention. You know, they're giving me the side of a relationship or some some kind of ah some kind of relationship, really anything.
00:25:11
Speaker
i will share one funny story that I experienced when I was in elementary school. When I was I had ah a boyfriend at that time, and it was Valentine's Day and I had come into my class and everyone was like, Oh my God, you know I guess they were still doing, you know, the candy grams at that time. Right. They're still handing out candy grams. And of course, someone always got maybe a little bit more than all the rest. And of course I was dating, dating quote unquote, dating another person. And and I got to class and everyone's like, oh my gosh, Janice, go to your desk, come see. I'm like, what's going on? like, what's going on? And I go to my desk and and and I was surprised. There was like a teddy bear and there was like chocolates.
00:25:51
Speaker
And I was like, oh, so sweet. And obviously I knew who it was. like Open it, open it. There's a car and everything. I read the car. I open up the chocolates and lo and behold, just like a comedy, half is eaten.
00:26:04
Speaker
no it was half eaten and then and then was like and of course I laugh because I'm like oh my god watch it be half eaten I was like thinking about it in my mind it wanted be and it was half eaten and he you know without a doubt without a beat he says I got hungry while was buying things i was like In elementary school. Elementary school. Yeah, I've got some really sweet things in elementary school, like really sweet gestures. Yeah. And then so that that happened in, I think, grade five. And then in grade six, same thing. I got I got another very sweet one. I got like a teddy bear. And then I got heart vase with a rose in it.
00:26:47
Speaker
Oh, that's sweet. That one was really sweet. Yeah, I've gotten some really nice sweet gestures. So those probably kind of touched on those things like those expectations or what you saw in.
00:26:59
Speaker
Yeah, right. Just like effort, but also, you know, reality like, oh, I got hungry, you know, but it's for you, my love. but I'm like, thank you.
00:27:11
Speaker
Yeah. um Did you guys ever do those questionnaires? They always did it around Valentine's Day. Was it? Those compatibility things.
00:27:22
Speaker
And then they would print out a list. They would print out a sheet of all the people who you are compatible with. think so. i Right? i but They didn't do it all the time. I think it was like maybe like one or two years. But oh my gosh, wow, I forgot about those.
00:27:38
Speaker
I think that we had them every year. wow I think so. Anyway, I always remember opening it up and feeling really excited. Like, oh, is my crush in there? yes, yes. Maybe they would be like on the very bottom the Or maybe they wouldn't show up at all.
00:27:55
Speaker
And it would be like, full of all these people that i don't even want to talk to because they're, you know, completely in their own different friend group. And I would be so disappointed because I'm thinking to myself, how is this gonna help me at all? Yeah.
00:28:09
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, man. Those were those. were some fun though Yeah, I had.
Unexpected Crushes and Romantic Gestures
00:28:17
Speaker
I also had like some people that had a crush on me that I didn't expect. And I felt bad that I'm like, oh, I don't feel the same way.
00:28:27
Speaker
I'm really sorry. Oh, like how do we break this to them? But also it made me feel good because I was like, oh, my God.
00:28:36
Speaker
I have something, but you know, and that happened to me in elementary school. And and i it to you it did. And I feel really, really bad because it was in my basketball team. oh I played basketball when I was in elementary school and it was ah during practice and somebody came up to me and was like, oh, so-and-so likes you. And I literally super loud said, ew. felt so loud.
00:29:06
Speaker
I felt so bad about it afterwards. And I still, I can still remember feeling so, I can still remember the feeling to this day. Like, why would you do that, Suzanne? That was so mean. Because yeah he was right there and he was looking at me.
00:29:21
Speaker
But I remember... This person who I thought was a really good friend of mine, he actually had feelings for me and I didn't know. And um he was probably, he became probably one of my best friends when I was in elementary school, going into middle school.
00:29:37
Speaker
And then he ended up moving away. But before he ended moving away, he ended up sharing his feelings for me. And then he sent me this web link. Um, and there was like all this art, like about, you know, moments of our friendship, the way he was feeling about it.
00:29:54
Speaker
And I was just so taken aback because I was like, oh, wow, this is like right there in front of me and public. But at least it was like, there's no names. It was just like, you know, feelings put into art, which I thought was really lovely.
00:30:09
Speaker
But it is really sweet. It is really sweet. Right? Yeah. but It just, it caught me so off guard that I just like didn't even know how to react because was thinking myself like, this is so nice. But at the same time, like I had no idea. i had i had no idea. um wow But you didn't feel the same way.
00:30:32
Speaker
i did. I mean, and in some ways i I did, but my feelings were actually towards somebody else in our friends group at the time. Mm-hmm.
00:30:42
Speaker
who I would consider was my best friend at the time. So it was kind of, you know, and actually at one point that friend,
00:30:53
Speaker
my best friend at the moment had come back to me and said, you know, i don't know how you do this to people, you know, so-and-so ended up falling in love with you and I miss you all the time. And I think of you all the time. I was I didn't know that I did that to people. i didn't know that I was capable of doing that to people. Right.
00:31:15
Speaker
Which was really interesting. But yeah. Yeah. It was always, yeah, it was always the the the ones that you didn't expect. Yeah, the ones that catch you off guard for sure.
00:31:28
Speaker
Yeah, I had a few of those as well too. But it's always like, you know, it's never the person that you really liked that would like you back. Right. Again, daydreaming. And I think that was like safer for me. Right. Because I was like, oh, I can just admire them from afar. Oh, there was one another boy that liked me, but I didn't. He never expressed himself. So I didn't I didn't bother.
00:31:50
Speaker
i didn't need to clear anything up. They just got me a nice present and left it in my locker. And I was like, OK, first of all, how do you have my locker or like combination? Yeah, how did he get in there? really yeah like first of all, how did you get my locker combination?
00:32:04
Speaker
Yeah. I know! Like, people with crushes in high school, they're crazy! That's intense. Yeah! like, stalkerly.
00:32:21
Speaker
What? They got into your locker? They got into my locker. And they just locked me. I know, but like, see expectations versus reality is very different. You know, if you see this in a show, it's like, oh my God, it's so romantic. But when it happens, you're like, what the, what, what, like my, goal what my daughter says, what the bombs?
00:32:44
Speaker
How did you get in here? The creepy vibe definitely comes off before, before the, oh,
00:32:53
Speaker
So yes, I watch too much TV in this case. I mean, to be fair, like TV, in TV, when you watch it, you see from a third person. So you see from like,
00:33:04
Speaker
you know, you see that the buildup of the crush and
Future Episodes and Parental Advice
00:33:08
Speaker
everything. So you kind of like, right? The character buildup. So you kind of feel for also the, you feel for also the person who's doing those creepy things. But when it's just happening to you, it's kind of like, what is happening here? but Yeah. True.
00:33:26
Speaker
a then Well, I think we are going to have a part two because we eventually need talk about, you know, how we met our husbands. And we mentioned that they might come on to our podcast one day. So I'm really excited about that because our husbands are quite a character and together they just make chaos in the best way possible.
00:33:48
Speaker
It's going to be very exciting for Thank you everyone who has tuned in to episode three. I hope you enjoyed it. And I hope that you have someone to talk to when you have these big emotions and feelings when you're growing up.
00:34:03
Speaker
If you're a parent, check on your kids, you know, talk to them. They might not feel comfortable talking to you about it, but they are always listening, whether it doesn't look like they are most of the time. i know I talk to my daughter a lot about her feelings, whether it's relationships with friends or i don't know if she has crushes yet, but I'll be there when she's ready to talk about it.
00:34:30
Speaker
What would you tell your younger self now? If you are now that you're experienced, find a person to talk to, just like you said. and Even if you think that you don't have that relationship connection with somebody, I wish a young teen or a young girl, I just kind of could take that step forward and have that conversation with my parents, whether about boys crushes or what was happening in school to me.
00:34:58
Speaker
But yeah, definitely. And I think growing up also when i finally told my parents, they asked me, they kept asking me, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you nothing?
00:35:10
Speaker
Wow. You never know who's going to be receptive, right? Your parents are usually always going to be receptive towards you. Thank you again so much for listening and we'll see you next time.