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PUBLISH>!!!>!$#@%@$@J
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LETS GOOOOO!!!!!
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Transcript
Introduction and Reflections
00:00:00
Speaker
I got all apps in high school. I went to four rehab. I have no skill set, whatever. The only thing I know how to do is just to put one foot in front of the other and say, okay, I think that's the only thing I did right in my life. Look at me right
Bobby Lee's Story and Subscriber Call to Action
00:00:12
Speaker
now, dude. Would you ever make love to a dwarf?
00:00:17
Speaker
So you've probably seen Bobby Lee in quite a few clips. He's probably the funniest person I've ever met. And so here's his incredible life story from start to finish. And I guarantee you'll be laughing. As soon as you hit the subscribe button, by the way, because we want to get to a million subscribers by the end of the year and you can help get us there right now. Just hit the subscribe button would mean the world to us, guys. Thank you so much.
00:00:58
Speaker
Let's
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00:01:00
Speaker
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00:01:05
Speaker
begin.
00:01:21
Speaker
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00:01:44
Speaker
Check out JoinDeleteMe.com slash ICH20 or use the promo code ICH20 to get an exclusive 20% off all consumer plans. Again, that's code ICH20 at JoinDeleteMe.com. Protect yourself and stay private
Guest Appearance and Podcast Experiences
00:01:58
Speaker
with Delete Me. And now let's get back to the podcast. Thanks for having me.
00:02:01
Speaker
Thank you so much for coming on. This is so exciting for us, honestly. So we listened to four hours straight of you in the car at 2X speed. So we've just heard eight hours of you. Would you watch Bad Friends? I thought a little bit of Bad Friends. We did Impulsive. We also, we did Lex Freedom, which was amazing.
00:02:19
Speaker
That one was awesome because it's so very different than a lot of the other podcasts you've been on. He's very analytical. Obviously it was hilarious, but it wasn't around like funny stories and stuff like that, which I loved. Theo Vaughn, and then some of Impulsive.
Humor and Stereotypes Discussion
00:02:32
Speaker
Some of impulsive with Jake Paul. Ron Paul. What's it? Logo Paul. Logo Paul. Logo Paul. I love Logo Paul. Logo Paul. No, those guys are good. You know, he's got a big penis, I assume. I didn't see it, but... Let me rank penis size. May I? Sure. Yeah, yeah. On who? I don't know if we know. I do. I know. Yeah. I already know. How could you tell? 13.5. Yeah. The way I know 13.5. At least. Right, right. Okay. Yeah. Number one.
00:03:01
Speaker
Yeah, two three Penis size is directly related to stature to size. That was you right? No, I never said that you said that I'm pretty sure you said a quote Don't quote me on it. Let me tell you something about science my friend. All right, you think Yao Ming
00:03:21
Speaker
has a small... it's proportional to the body. I think you said that. Also, I make things up all the time. I don't know anything. You said Yao Ming. Do you think Yao Ming with a size 16 foot has a small penis? No. That came up in conversation. No, that's my point. My point is this, okay? When they say, you know, the stereotypes that, you know, there's a stereotype. They say Asian men have small penises and I'm, you know what I mean? I think you should go by your foot size. I have nine, right? So women think mine's average. I have nine feet. You have 14?
00:03:52
Speaker
Awesome, what's your size foot size my foot size about a ten and a half nice yours eight
00:04:14
Speaker
You don't know the ethnicity of a man that you're working with I think he's that's insane that's insane
00:04:22
Speaker
No, no, we don't work with him. It doesn't matter. The first thing you ask is what are you? I just, I never asked that. I don't see color. It doesn't matter to you. Should I ask that to Jack? Jack, what are you? No, not him. No. No. Because he's white. But it could be like, you know, we don't care. No. It could be. There could be a lot of things. So this is what you ask. And it comes back in the room and they love it. We love it. All right. Just listen. What kind of.
00:04:51
Speaker
Ching-chong are you they love it that work. They love it works. It's so good In fact, if you go to Japan, there's a manual right and that's the first thing that's on the manual What kind of Ching-chong are you? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you think that you look Korean? You fucking son of a I'm curious. I'm just kind of games. Are you playing right now? I know you're I know you're Korean
00:05:14
Speaker
You're acting so good January 6th right now dude. Oh my god. Yeah a super close I don't look it. I don't look at me. I don't look correct. Do you what do I look like then?
00:05:28
Speaker
What does he look like? What do I look like then? I think it's some... I mean... You look Korean, man. No, no, no, no. Spit it out. Spit it out. Let's be real. To be honest... I want to have a good relationship with you. To be honest, when I see you... Sorry. I got angry. Sorry. I think more so Japanese. Wow. That's so... Oh my God. That hurts. That's amazing. Is that painful?
00:05:49
Speaker
Well, I mean, the Japanese oppressed Korea for many, many years. But you know what? I'll go with it. In fact, I'm 10 percent Japanese. I did that 23 and me. And it's certainly wrong. You're not necessarily wrong. Right. Where's the ching chong at? He's out of the room. All right. Yeah. So how many like you guys live in Vegas, right? You live there. Yeah, I live in Vegas. We initially lived in Santa Monica together and then we moved to Vegas together.
Life in Los Angeles
00:06:10
Speaker
Why? Because of the taxes. That was a big part of it. Yeah. It's also really nice there. Like I feel like L.A. has kind of been going downhill. What do you think about that?
00:06:16
Speaker
I'm not moving. I don't care what you guys say. I don't care what Joe Rogan or anybody says to go to Austin. I'm not leaving LA. But has it gone downhill? Like we're driving through downtown, Eagle Rock. And I was telling Jack, oh, the last time I was here is like 10 years ago driving through Eagle Rock. It got bad.
00:06:32
Speaker
Like some of the buildings were like half kind of like dilapidated graffiti everywhere. People like roaming the streets in the middle of the street. I never remember that like that. Yeah, but that's why I don't go there. Where do you go? Just in my neighborhood. Oh, yeah. You can't really, you know, have an opinion about things that you don't actually see. So you just block it.
00:06:53
Speaker
Like, let me just say something, okay? When they said, I remember back in the day, there's Blood and Crips dog, what's up? I feel like I still exist. Yeah, I know, but I never went to, so I just didn't, because I never went to Watts or Compton, right? And checked it out. You know what I mean? I just don't pretend that it's there, really. What about Venice? Like, you ever get there? I didn't even go there, man. Those are the worst kind of homeless. Yeah. What's the difference between Venice homeless? Well, because the Woods and Venice think they have talent. Eat me up, check me out! All right, and then you're like, here's a dollar. What was that?
00:07:24
Speaker
Check me out. What do you happen? Yeah. And they start tap dancing. But you're like, that's what they have some sort of instrument that like men out of, you know, 10 and, you know, I mean, glass to paint the paint cans. I don't like drums. So they think they have talent. Got it. I mean, which they probably do for their level. You know, what do you think?
Venice Performers and Comedy Skills
00:07:56
Speaker
He's pretty good, but I was a kid, but he's like though. He's like that Denzel of that
00:08:02
Speaker
I feel like it's the drummers. That's one of them that I'm like questionable. I could just be hitting them at some random tempo I really don't know right right you can't fake that you know right How do you feel about the silver do that's like frozen? I just am oh, that's Santa Monica
00:08:17
Speaker
Yeah, but do you like that guy? Not necessarily. I do, he's not caught. What problems is he causing? Because it's the same thing every single... Like you can go to Vegas and you see the same silver guy, you know, you go to Santa Monica, and you know what it is. Yeah. You know exactly. They're just sitting. It's hacking. Really, what they're doing is just sitting. They are very uncomfortable, so...
00:08:32
Speaker
There's something going on there. Why silver though? Why can't you be another color? I've seen gold. You've seen gold? That's gold? Yeah, yeah. What about brown? That'd be cool. I think that would be questionable. Which brown? Well, you know, 2023, the... What? No, what? What are you... What are you even... And you're painting yourself with a dark... What are you even applying right now, dude? And you're painting yourself with a dark color. Isn't that kind of going against whatever one... Or you're saying that's a black face kind of thing? In a sense. You're right. Okay, let's... I would say I would not have... Let's give it to silver then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one's silver. Anyway.
00:08:58
Speaker
I'm curious. How did you get focused here? How did you get started in common? Oh, come on. Yes, you know, we're doing that right now. We want to talk about that. That's why I want to know. I like it. OK, cool. But no, I don't. That's how about this. Let's segue into it in a natural way. OK, sure. Because I was like, kind of like, you know, we're going to the street and they're like, let's take a look. How about this? You're obviously a funny guy. We've laughed more in the first 10 minutes of this than any other podcast. Oh, have you always been funny?
00:09:28
Speaker
Was it something that you learned to be funny? No, it's not funny. What I do is I just kind of just talk. You know what I mean? I don't think it's funny. I'm just a weird guy, I think. It's a skill. Is it? I cannot be funny like that. If I tried, I would embarrass myself. I honestly don't think I'm being funny.
00:09:48
Speaker
I honestly don't think I'm being fired right now. So the whole room is laughing, though. Yeah, but I don't know why. Because you're funny. Well, let me say that. Am I the little guy? Is that why? No. I'm the little Asian guy. Funny guy. I honestly didn't even take... I mean, I'm a clown. Is that what I have? No.
00:10:03
Speaker
No, I'm kidding. But no. Listen to me, man.
Dating, Relationships, and Life Reflections
00:10:07
Speaker
You get a lot of girls. Me? Yeah. To be honest. You have a girlfriend? No. Why? I don't have a girlfriend. Do I get? I don't say get a lot of girls. I do my best and occasionally I'll get dates. Yeah. I would say I do worse than you would probably imagine. Okay. So this year, how many girls have you smashed?
00:10:24
Speaker
Zero. Christian, huh? No. You tried? Yeah. No, no, no, hold on. Pause. Pause. I didn't try to smash. Yeah. I, you know, I try to have a loving relationship. Oh, Jesus Christ. What? But here's the thing that it's, it's, it's hard. And also I, I will say 24 guy.
00:10:43
Speaker
I don't find that guy. This is the age to do it because let me say something guy. All right. When I was in my 10 year relationship, the thing that was in the back of my mind was like, I should have done it more in my 20s. Why can't you now? I am doing it now. I woke up.
00:10:59
Speaker
How is that? I love it Is that good for you? So you feel so good How are you? How are you good with the ladies? What do you mean? How are you good with them? Like what is it? I think I'm gonna find them. Where do I find them? Yes? No What I'm saying is this is be real let's be real um
00:11:28
Speaker
because I don't um you know when I was in my 20s I was too afraid to even go for it because the rejection really hurt and now I think I just don't really that care that much anymore like I've had it girls go I've had hey you want to hang out and I've heard I've had girls go eww
00:11:48
Speaker
now. I just move on. They said you to you like ill. Yeah. Where? Why? I swear to God it happened. I was in Hawaii bro. I'm walking down the street just blonde girl because she's from Oklahoma. How old is she? She's white probably.
00:12:03
Speaker
anywhere between 25 and 35. OK. That pretty good. Yeah. And then her friends like she's like, oh, can I get a phone with you? And I go, yeah. And then her friends were like like, oh, they said to they go, oh, who's that guy? Right. And she said, oh, he's a comic. This and that. And then and they go, is that you're going to be a future husband to the blonde girl? And she goes, oh, a big girl. Oh, I took the photo and I left. Well, I will say this much. Yeah, I think you can turn those. I am though.
00:12:31
Speaker
No you're not. I don't see you. What do you mean by that? To some I'm pretty oo probably. And to some I'm ew as well. Right. And then there's some girls are oo to me. Right? So I think we're going to balance this up.
00:12:51
Speaker
I think that you can turn some of those u encounters like you can just keep Persisting and being the best person that you can possibly be and I feel like after enough time once you've proven yourself to somebody You think there needs to be that upfront chemistry. It's got to be some nope Because we're talking you're talking you know, we're talking about two different games Okay, I'm talking you're talking about finding in the love of your life
00:13:12
Speaker
Right. And I'm talking about smashing. Those are two different games. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. But actually, to be honest with you, I think I like somebody right now.
00:13:23
Speaker
Really? I do like somebody. And that's what I'm going to say. Although, you know what? While we're on the topic of being a creator, I got to say I know how overwhelming it could be to see all the equipment that's out there and think, oh, I got to spend thousands of dollars
Promotions and Upcoming Shows
00:13:36
Speaker
to get started up. But thankfully, our sponsor StreamYard is there to help. So StreamYard is a live streaming studio platform that helps you create high quality content with just the click of a button. All you need is any camera and an Internet connection and you can start streaming directly from your browser.
00:13:50
Speaker
What I really like though is that you could stream to multiple social media platforms all at the same time. So you could set it up once and then stream to YouTube, to Twitch, to Instagram and so on. Basically almost anything out there. You're going to get your face out there. StreamYard is the best way to start creating content online. And best of all, they also offer a free package so you guys can get started today at the cost.
00:14:11
Speaker
And look, leveling with you guys, they've also been a huge supporter of the podcast and have allowed us to take a lot of trips and travel to some of the guests that we otherwise just wouldn't have really seen. So if you guys appreciate that and want to support us and have something that's totally free, visit StreamYard down below in the description to get started today. Thank you so much, StreamYard. We love you. And back to the episode. Interesting. I guess what sort of qualities do you like about a person like that? I like the opposite of what I am.
00:14:41
Speaker
I'm a dirty, ethnic bastard. You know what I mean? I spit. I spit in the coochie. I do. I spit right in the coochie and I don't apologize for it. I go, right? And they go, what? I don't care. You know what I mean? I like the opposite. I like the ones that are like.
00:14:56
Speaker
that say who? Oh, no, that don't say you. I like the ones that are like, I go to church, I wake up at eight in the morning, I do yoga, you know what I mean? And then I, you know, I take my son to school, you know what I mean? There's normal, normal people. I mean, I don't want anyone to spit on me back. I will say that. Yeah. And then it becomes a weird thing. You know what I mean? So it's like, no, I like the opposite of like who I am, you know, because I'm, uh, I'm a creature of the night.
00:15:24
Speaker
And I want Angel of the Day. Good yin and yang. Thank you. I think that makes sense. I feel like a lot of guys just in general are attracted to the proactive woman who gets up early and takes the kids to school. They go to activities. They have their own life. I feel like those are just generally accepted attractive qualities in women. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want you to say asaf to me. Asaf? Asaf.
00:15:47
Speaker
Good. What does that mean? I don't know, but it's Asian and I love it. It's going to be some slur. No, no, no. I think it's a hello. I think it's a yes or something in Japan. Yeah, I mean, but right now, because I was in a 10 year thing. I'm not really eager to rush into another long term thing, right? I just you know, I just I just want to figure out. I think I'm in a new metamorphosis in my life. What did you learn from that relationship? What did you learn from that relationship?
00:16:16
Speaker
Well, first of all, I love her still. You know, we have a podcast together called Tiger Belly, and I love her immensely. She's my best friend. I learned a lot. I learned that I can love somebody unconditionally, even if sex is not involved, really. And I trust her like family. You know, I really do. I love her. I love her whole family. And I don't really learn anything, really.
00:17:00
Speaker
Sorry, let's do it again know about my point, but I do lover and um, you know, I know I'm going through something right now in my life and I uh, I
00:17:08
Speaker
I've been chasing this dream for a very long time. It hasn't panned out the way I thought it was going to pan out. In many ways, it's better than I ever thought it would ever be. It's a nightmare as well. I don't know, I just need a change. I don't know what it is. Could be Vegas.
00:17:30
Speaker
It could be. And when Polly was living there, I was thinking about going. You know, Polly sure lived there for a bit. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, but check this out. I mean, Andrew Santino are doing eight shows. In Vegas, we got to like kind of a residency at a casino. Yeah. Which casino? It's still one of the negotiations. But I know because we have. I'm sorry. I get so angry. I'm so excited. I know. You know what? I should calm down.
00:17:58
Speaker
No, no, keep it up. You know what, guys? Let's namaste. Namaste. Namaste. Yeah. I think your little hands. Thank you. So cute. They're so cute. Holy. Thank you. They look like, you know, like Cabbage Patchy. Is it? I don't know. Anyway.
00:18:14
Speaker
You have a girlfriend? A fiancé. Ooh la la. Yeah, yeah. And how long were you dating before you asked? How long has it been? Three years. Actually, the three years on the day is what I proposed. Wow. And what did you do?
00:18:30
Speaker
Right now she's doing some personal training. Oh, she's hot. Yeah, she's a good body. Great. Is she taller? Yes. You know, so funny. How tall are you? Like five, four. Yeah. Me too. Me too. Right. Six foot. Yeah. But it's you've always dated girls taller, right? I mean, everyone's taller than me. So I don't know. I mean, if you saw like four foot six girl now.
00:18:54
Speaker
You wouldn't do it, right? That's what their voices are like it was just coincidentally been taller. It's not really been by like a choice It's just like everyone is typically taller than me. I know but you do are you attracted to taller women is what I'm asking overall. Yeah Yeah, cuz they're your parents. Yeah, I didn't know that really you like taller women Yeah, I think they got a little high about yours. You're shorter women. I prefer shorter women. Yeah, but I'll tell you I'm six one with shoes on I'm six feet. Would you date a dwarf probably not? Probably let that sink in
00:19:26
Speaker
Why not with you well if their personalities are great me too Look okay to be completely fan on us. This is my honest answer you look firstly I don't know what you're doing right now, but you're panicking Here's the deal here's the deal dude all right There's no shit. I mean you'd like what you like all right. You know it's like would you look at me right now, dude? Would you ever make love? to dwarf
00:19:51
Speaker
Something about you is so comforting, to be honest. My answer to that is yes. You would? I think I would. You know, can I say this too? Let me say this, right? You're a lying bastard. I'm not. I swear I'm not. You're a fucking piece of shit right now. I'm not. You're acting like a piece of shit. No, no.
00:20:08
Speaker
What you're doing is a piece of move, right? And I like it. But you know what, dude? Why don't you speak your mind? I really would. Here's the thing. Let me explain this to you with who if I really actually did connect with him on an emotional level. Really, I would. And here's the thing. I will say this about you. I really what I admire about you is how I haven't let me finish. Go ahead. Would you make love to a woman with gigantism?
00:20:33
Speaker
That one. She's seven six. Do I get along with her perfectly like she's got a six like a you know me like a wrecking ball.
00:20:46
Speaker
She's got Rob Gronkowski's hands, you know what I mean? And she's just like, what's up, you know what I mean? And like, look at me in the eyes, dude. Would you make love to a woman? Yeah, come on. At that point, if she had a head like a wrecking ball, I would probably- No, Gigantism, just average woman with Gigantism.
00:21:08
Speaker
Would you make love? Great personality. Will you guys share? Will you kiss up the same hobbies? You guys really laugh it up. You really get along. I would. No, you wouldn't! I swear, I would.
Fantasy, Sci-Fi, and Cancel Culture
00:21:20
Speaker
Fuck her. If I really connect with her on that deep level. All right, let's go further then. Let's go further. I'll go further, right?
00:21:27
Speaker
Would you date if they existed? Okay. Now we're going mythological. A minotaur. Would I date a minotaur? Yeah. What is a minotaur? You know? You want? That's fucking fucked up dude. That's not a human. At that point it's a minotaur. Dude, your race is against the mythologicals dude and I don't fucking like it dude.
00:21:46
Speaker
Honestly, yeah, I like mythological creatures a lot, but I don't guess what what guess what a minotaur is you just said a bowl of some sort, right? You don't know anything about mythological creatures. I'm gonna throw some your way. Okay some as a minotaur is what? It's a bull body and human legs
00:22:07
Speaker
Did you know that? No. Have you seen that in any movie or anything? No. Alright, let's go. The Lord of the Rings or something. What's a centaur? I don't know. I know. It sounds... Dude, you know what? Do you and I? Let me say something. If I was a woman...
00:22:19
Speaker
Right. I think we would. Well, you think we have the same kind of. I like it. I like it. I do like mythology. I like Percy Jackson. You know, Percy Jackson. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You read that. No. Oh, I was going to say that. Let's move on. But you don't want to send Taurus. It's a horse's body and a body and a human body bow bow and arrow. Well, then, you know, man, do you know what a Seder is? I don't know what that is. A Seder is goat lower half. Yeah. And human upper half.
00:22:46
Speaker
Whoa, Sator, I've never heard of that. Yeah, and you could cover yourself up if you're a Sator just with some pants. Yeah, and no one would ever know. Mongoloid.
00:22:57
Speaker
Anyway, you don't like you don't like fantasy or sci-fi or anything. No, not really. So in the movies you've never seen like Lord of the Rings. I've seen Lord of the Rings. I like that. You know, Potter is great. Oh, so you do like it then. You know, I just don't know the names like throw out these names. I just don't know what they are. Do you usually drink cups with two hands? I'm just I'm just curious.
00:23:18
Speaker
I don't mean that in any way. It's just an honest question. Yeah, I do. What of it? I'm just curious because I've personally, I haven't seen... You're a one-hand guy? I am a one-hand guy. Yeah, yeah. Why do you just opt for the two-hand method instead? Well, I saw Trump do it once, drinking water. He used both hands. I'm like, that's a good way to do it. He has such big hands, though. Yeah, I know, but still, he was like shaking and he was drinking. It was great. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't know why, but I just do. Okay. It's none of your business.
00:23:43
Speaker
That's it. It's good to be here. Thank you for coming. Yeah. Yeah. Um, let me ask you this. Your parents were still are still together. They are yours. You're not correct. How do you do this? I could just look at it. No, you're so innocent and pure and kind of like unreal in many ways.
00:24:01
Speaker
I mean, you're very like... You shouldn't exist, right? Mormon-esque, I'm off. I know you're Jewish. I'm not religious. I know you're Jewish. Well, I'm... Like, biologically, yes, because my mom is Jewish. Yeah, yeah. But I'm not... I didn't grow up religious at all. Yeah, but you just look like an Americana, just a well-natured young man. Thank you, man. Right? There's something about you. There's an edge about you. There's an edge. And there's something about you that's slithering. Yeah, there's... You know what? I did one of those Facebook quizzes. Like, which Harry Potter are you? Yeah. And it was slithering. I know it was. Yeah.
00:24:30
Speaker
You know? I'm Hufflepuff. Nice to meet you. Wait, can I just ask you real quick? Would you make love with a centaur? Well, I've never seen a female centaur, so no. What about a... Would you make love with a montor? What is it called? A montor? A montor? What's a montor? The bowl one.
00:24:47
Speaker
Minotaur Minotaur would you ever make love with a minotaur? I've never seen a female minotaur either, but if hypothetically, I mean they should they probably do exist because You know, I mean, how do they have kids? Isn't a bowl just male? That's a good that's a good point but if there was some sort of thing like, you know, I mean he was transitioning
00:25:09
Speaker
identifies as a woman, right? And he got the operation and stuff, right? So I go, oh, look at the bull. And then I look at the the badge area and I go, oh, looks nice. And I know it's this bull penis cut in half and tucked inside. But that sounds good to you.
00:25:32
Speaker
Would have to be like the best looking vagina I've ever seen for me to like because you're still looking at the you know The bull half when you're making love, you know, yeah, so no, I don't think so No, let's go human. Don't ask me some humans. Sure. Okay, would you make love with a quadriplegic? Explain to me what that is. That means you have no limbs no arms. No legs Well, I thought I thought that's just you can't move your arms your legs quadriplegic. Oh
00:25:57
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, it would know what the fucking thing is Okay, well, let's just say you have no arms and legs just don't use the terminology because you don't know the term Okay, someone without legs and arms never have I've got some questions Yeah, were they did were they born without them? No, or did they lose it in a war? They lost it in a war. No, how?
00:26:21
Speaker
they were riding their bike and they got hit by a car. Their arms and legs were riding a bike. It was really tragic. Brutal. It was brutal. It was brutal. Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:33
Speaker
Why not? So that's your logic. Here's the problem with that. It's not that I'm not going to be a sexually attracted them or you know what I mean? We're not going to get along. It's just I'll end up being like their rickshaw almost like carrying them around everywhere. You know what I mean? Yeah. I just don't like that aspect of it. Like I got to go to the bathroom. You know what I mean? And then you got to you know what I mean? Right. Right. Because someone with no arms and legs
00:26:59
Speaker
What do they just? Yeah. How do they get? Yeah. And then they're all around the house. Just slithering. You know what I mean? That would be fucking weird. No. Yeah. Right. Or no. I mean, you would have to carry them around there. You know, not slither, but like, what do you do when you roll? Oh, that's even weirder. They're just rolling around the house. That'd be fucking weird. But I would have to pick them up. So I think that's all. You know what? I would create a harness like a backpack.
00:27:26
Speaker
Something like that, or like, you know, or like more of a kangaroo thing. A front pouch. Like a front pouch, stick them in the front, right? And we can go ATV, you know, do something, right? I do want to mention this, that what I admire about you a lot, and something I'm trying to learn from you, is how are you so shameless? And because I've realized throughout my life, I've been subjected to a lot of judgment from random people. This guy, one of the most judgmental people I've ever met in my entire life.
00:27:51
Speaker
You seem judgy, yeah. Sometimes you noticed earlier how I felt like I was kind of wondering what the best thing is to say, because it's for fear for judgment. Because I've had it before. Well, you edit this podcast, right? We do, yeah. Well, then you can say whatever you want. You can just edit it out. But I don't want to. Be free. The more we include, the better. Yeah. We edit out 40% of every podcast. You really? OK, so I talk to so many other podcasters. Very few other podcasters edit out that much. We edit out maybe 20% of most podcasts. So I'm curious, what's said that makes you edit it out?
00:28:21
Speaker
That's why we edit it. I can't say it. Could you give us a hand? No, no, no, no, no. I mean, you're in your mind. Yeah. I imagine. Yeah. Yeah. Like what what would get flagged on YouTube? So is so that's the metric is just like, hey, with this good flag when we make money, you're right. You know, you know, I mean, there was a time in in
00:28:40
Speaker
in comedy where you can say whatever you want and there were no consequences and there's there's so many deep consequences now and um you know i've gotten in trouble for it so it's just like i just i mean it sucks you know i mean you can't say what you want to say and um regardless if it's wrong or right i mean you know you just kind of explore different ideas but um
00:29:01
Speaker
I have never heard or I've never really seen people get so like uptight or sensitive as they are today as they were back then I mean you have like the Eddie Murphy specials and like all of these things and it seems like people are now going back decades saying well you said this in the 1980s and that's unacceptable and you should apologize for it. Yeah yeah it's terrible but um I can't change anything um there's nothing I can do and so um I'm playing by
00:29:27
Speaker
the rules, you know what I mean? That's laid in front of me. And yeah, I don't know how long, if it gets worse, I don't know how long we can do it, but right now it's still fine. We can still say a lot of the things we wanna say. But that's gotta make you paranoid though. Like in the back of your mind, are you constantly thinking like, oh, I can't say that. Well, what you have to do is this. You have to, and this is like pretty serious.
00:29:53
Speaker
And it's sad. You have to let go of the things that they can take away. Right. So when somebody gets canceled, they go, I'm going to lose this, this and this. And the reason why they freak out when they're getting canceled is because they want to grab onto this thing that they're going to lose. Right. So what I've had to do is like just already have funerals for my other dreams. Right. Because it's like
00:30:21
Speaker
You know, because if they can't take that away, then I'm fine. Yeah, this is a real estate guy. Ben Mollon says whatever's on his mind does not care at all. Yeah, people love it. Yeah. But he is like, you know, everything he is nothing really to gain from anything. So he's just like, you know, I'll say whatever doesn't matter to me either way. I'm sad. Yeah, it's fine. But the problem, though, is, is that he doesn't have like I act.
00:30:46
Speaker
Yeah, right. So, you know, I'm on Sex in the City reservation, all these shows. Right. And those are the things that, you know, I mean, that they can take away. And I love doing those things. I love doing those shows. I love I love the people I work with. I love the process of acting. It's a dream of mine to do it. But I've had to let it go because they can take it away. You know what I mean? And I'm not going to allow myself right to live in fear. Yeah.
00:31:11
Speaker
Right. So I've already kind of like, you know, if I don't act again, I don't act again. You know, if I don't if certain parts of my business is dead, you know, I mean, then so be it. But is it the love of doing that sort of stuff that's keeping going or is it like a dollar amount behind it where it's like, hey, if I had 50 million bucks, I wouldn't care. I'd say whatever. No, it's no, no, it's still no, it's like, I mean, I, you know, I love comedy doing that and I love
00:31:38
Speaker
I love doing it with Andrew, I love doing it with my own podcast as well. It's the love of doing it, you know? But of course, I mean, you do make YouTube money and money, you know what I mean? Like you guys do. And it pays the bills. And that's great. And we're blessed. But you have to have the love.
00:31:58
Speaker
You have to want to do it. I do stand up every night. I love doing it. You know, they can't take away stand up either, which is great. They can't take away podcasts. So it's like I don't know. It's just really interesting. You know, the last couple of years, you know, it does seem like people just want to get upset at something.
00:32:15
Speaker
What? What was the wink about? I just felt like it was so serious I had to do like a little thing to get it going. It does seem like though people are just getting upset for the sake of getting upset like they want something to be angry at so they're purposely looking for things to be upset. Listen you can be upset and I'm upset about a lot of things you know I'm a you know there's a lot of things that I that really trigger me and round me up right I just don't um
00:32:44
Speaker
You know, I don't I don't go on the Internet to destroy someone's life. Right. People have their opinions. You know, I mean, like Taylor Meijer Green. What's our name? You know that I've heard the name, but I'm not. Well, you don't know who Marjorie Taylor Green is. You just said she's Taylor Marjorie. Marjorie Taylor. I've never heard. I've never. No, no, no. I've heard her name before. What did you say? Then what did she call it? Right. Yes. OK.
00:33:06
Speaker
There are things about her, she says really crazy QAnon kind of things, space lasers and all these crazy things, but I would never like, and I think what she says is totally bad for the country, but I don't want to hurt her, I just disagree, you know what I mean?
00:33:27
Speaker
I think the problem now is it's like, oh, no, I don't like what you said or I disagree with you. So you should no longer make a living. You know what I mean? That's where I have a problem with that. I think disagreeing in silence is just gone now. Like people, they need to have their opinion heard and they need to like morally show their superiority over somebody if the other person has an opinion that they could spin as unethical or something like that. Yeah. But you know, but then again, it's like
00:33:58
Speaker
It's fine. But I know I mean, it's fine in the sense that like, you know, I've if I look back on my life, I'm 51, I'm almost 52 years old, you know, and I've just had a wild ride, man. I've had a great ride. I'm so blessed. I've seen so many things and I've experienced so many things and I
00:34:21
Speaker
You know, and trials and tribulations, but also I was able to travel the world and your impact on people. Yeah. And do comedy. And I grew a great fan base. I love them all. And I'm so fucking blessed. So it's like at the end of the day, it's like there's really nothing to complain about. You know, there really isn't.
00:34:39
Speaker
You know what I mean? This fucking guy over here. Does it concern you at all? And do you think that the comedy is less funny with these new social restrictions? Well, I think the truth is this. I think that the reason why Bad Friends is doing so well is because, you know, we it's the kind of comedy they just can't put on TV. And, you know, yeah. And, you know, there's a lot of Ivy League comedy people that don't like what me and Andrew do. You know, they think it's easy. They think it's just like meat and potatoes and whatnot. I don't give a fuck.
00:35:09
Speaker
Listen if you don't like it listen to something else but it's like I think that the reason why we're resonating with a segment of society is because um, you know That's how they fool around with their friends. These are the things that they say, you know, I mean at home or at a party or whatever, you know, I mean, um, we're just authentically being you know mean ourselves the way we are and
00:35:29
Speaker
It's funny because, you know, the other day I was at the comedy store and, you know, there was a bunch of comics back there. And I, you know, everyone was just like, the things that we were saying were so funny and crazy and wild and making fun of each other. And I was just basically like, I stopped everyone. I go, dude, if we should just be recording this, because this is how people talk behind closed doors. You know what I mean? But it's like, you know, you can't do it publicly because
00:35:55
Speaker
People are afraid but um and television has really gone. It's not funny Yeah, those late night show talk. Oh, I mean ever yeah what cracked giggles really from those Jimmy Fallon No, Jimmy Fallon. Yeah as you made you laugh probably yeah, no
00:36:29
Speaker
If you ask me in the last
00:36:32
Speaker
four years have I no when I was 12 and I was like just figuring out more hurtful so for Jimmy anyway it's Seth Meyers as you made you laugh I don't know I don't even know who he is Wow I like Jay Leno I like him
00:36:48
Speaker
Why are you laughing? Yeah, but he's not a late talk show late night talk show host. He was one of the first, you know, shock jock kind of, you know, DJs. I mean, he in many ways we wouldn't be doing what we're doing without him. You know, he's very important to that. You know, I know it wasn't podcasting, but it was like a reverent, really crazy comedy. His podcast is coming back. I see a lot of clips showing up now of Howard Stern on TikTok. Yeah. And Beetlejuice has made this whole resurgence with him and like
00:37:17
Speaker
I love it as memes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you? No, you haven't. Where would I go? Is he here? I don't know. I'm just wondering because, you know, have you met people just know. Yeah. Yeah. No. I mean, have you ever met Vladimir Putin?
00:37:32
Speaker
We could play this game all day long No, why would I meet him because he's friends with like Stern who's a comedian and like I don't know It's kind of something is Beetlejuice a comedian. Nobody's in that group kind of with Stern, you know How would I meet him be real though? Let's think about that. Honestly because because he's friends with Stern I figured that there's probably some I've never done Stern
00:37:54
Speaker
I know. Well, I didn't know that actually that you'd never know. I don't see him as a comedian. I love it. I don't know. I think he's just a very frank. He's a comedian guy. He's not a stand up comedian. He's just an edgy shock shock DJ who says funny things sometimes, you know. Yeah, I don't think he's a comedian. I wouldn't consider him that. I like your eyebrows. Thanks man. You'll go man. Do you practice comedy?
00:38:19
Speaker
Is this something you have to work on? Do you come up with like jokes or is it just on the fly? You just like got it. Was that a boring question? Is that a bad question?
00:38:34
Speaker
Okay what? How natural is this to you? I'm not doing anything. Here's the thing. Is it a natural? It's not natural even. I can say something. Thank you for having me on. I really appreciate it. But I don't want to say this okay. I'm just talking to you guys. This is the way I talk.
00:38:53
Speaker
I understand. In my mind, I was like, I want to say this, because it's going to be funny. I don't do that. I just say whatever it comes through my mind. Like, I just make shit up. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it's just and people find it funny, but it's not like something like, like, here's my muscle. You know what I mean? I'm going to show you that. You know what I mean? It's not that. It's just like I'm just like talking. But when do you realize you have a talent? I don't think I'd be funny this whole episode. You said the wrecking ball thing, which I know. But to me, to me, it was a way for a long time. I saw a guy with gigandism while they need his head look like a wrecking ball.
00:39:22
Speaker
But that's just like I know. But in my mind, I'm like that. I mean, to me, it's like that's what it looked like to me. But to you, you thought it was funny. You know, I did audition a long time ago for Mad TV, which is a TV show sketch. And I, you know, I wrote characters. And so these are things that I can do. I can purposely write something and be funny within that parameter. You know, but it's like right now, you know, I mean, I didn't write any of this now. I'm just talking to you guys. But you're right. I mean, it's like
00:39:51
Speaker
I've been in it for so long, I don't really think about it in those terms. I'm like a joker, I just do things. The most important thing in life is to show up and just to do it. Everything else is like...
00:40:08
Speaker
You can do it harder or more perfect, but it's just the whole idea of, I think the problem we get in our society is people just live in this deep fear that they can't do things, right? And I'm gonna tell you guys right now,
00:40:25
Speaker
I literally think I have quarter down syndrome. I'm really dumb. I've never read a book. I got all F's in high school. I went to four rehabs, three rehabs in my life, three or four. My point is that I have no skill set, whatever. The only thing I know how to do and that I've done right in my life is I'll just try to do it.
00:40:46
Speaker
I'll show up at an audition. I'll give it a go. I'm scared like everyone else. I fear like everyone else. But instead of not doing it, I do it. And I think that's the only thing I did right in my life. It's just to put one foot in front of the other and say, fuck it. I'm doing it. And I think in the process of doing that, you get more confident.
00:41:08
Speaker
You know, like before I did that, you know, in my early 20s, I couldn't get any girls or anything. I couldn't even, like if I got pulled over by the cops, I couldn't look them in the eyes. I was just so afraid of authority and because my dad was so abusive and stuff. And so, but then when I was starting to stand up, I realized, oh, it's just that confidence seeped into other areas of my life where I could like look at a girl and go, hey, you want to hang out?
00:41:33
Speaker
Because an audience not laughing is a devastating rejection, but then once you get used to that and you realize what it is, and what it is is just people's opinions, and you can have a bad night, and it doesn't kill you. It doesn't mean anything. Rejection doesn't mean anything. Where did the shamelessness come from? Was that something that happened? What's shameless about me? You're not fear for judgment. I feel like you... Oh, I am. You are? Yeah. But you still do it regardless. Yeah.
00:42:02
Speaker
So you overcome that? Well, I mean, I don't even know. What do you mean by shamelessness? You say things that I would not say. Like what? All those head like a wrecking ball. Like the centaur thing. Would you have to make love with a centaur? But in my mind, how is that bad? It's a question that I ask myself at night. If I watch Lure the Rings, right?
00:42:23
Speaker
You're like, would I have sex with that character? Yeah, I'll go. You know, I wonder what it would be like to make love to like a group of hobbits. How do I get in that that circular door?
00:42:35
Speaker
You know what I mean? That's what people call intrusive thoughts, right? Yeah. So, but you give them energy. I mean, you let them foster. Yeah. There's like this TV show called Body Bazaar. I've never seen it. Yeah. It's on Discovery or some National Geographic. And it's like, you know, they have little segments of people with like, I'm not making fun of them and I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm smiling. I'm not going to smile.
00:42:58
Speaker
Yeah, but you know they took people with that were like have like a 90 pound tumor coming out of their face. Why are you laughing? I'm not laughing. I'm not laughing. That's insane. I'm really not laughing. Yeah, you're smiling. That's insane. That's he's laughing. Romulus is laughing. You know, I mean, or like you know, like some some Indian, you know, I mean, and he's got like I've seen the ant like hands coming out of their heads. Hello.
00:43:20
Speaker
That's so fucked up dude. That's so insane. It's insane what you're doing dude. That's like a fucking they were born like that You know, yeah, so it's like so I watched that and I you know in my mind I'm like
00:43:35
Speaker
I don't know why but it's like even the guy with the tumor is like I wonder what you know I mean like if it's a woman if it's a woman with a 90 pound tumor I go if there's no tumor down below you know could you still smile I mean I just think of things like that it's wrong probably you know I mean but you need therapy did I do yeah you're mean I mean yeah you make fun of people with mutations I yeah I don't think it's okay
00:44:00
Speaker
But like, you know, they have like Siamese twins, but real people's lines. Some of those have been, I've questioned the logistics of like how that would, like the Siamese twins won.
00:44:10
Speaker
The logistics the two girls that are conjoined at the head They were talking about dating and they were like one of them wanted to date and the other one didn't want to do Yeah, and it's like how does that work if one goes out like wants to you know do stuff But they're conjoined at the head and the other one doesn't want to be a part of it Well, that's why I developed a product from them. What's the product right? It's a it's a wall
00:44:34
Speaker
But it's cut out. Right. So they put it between. Right. Sure. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Where the conjoined. I have a full blown wall and I have different styles. I have brick. You know, I have a metal one. I have a wooden one. I have one customer. What? It would just be a couple.
00:44:51
Speaker
a few customers. Well, I custom mix them. Yeah, but you can jack up the prices. Imagine, so you put a wall between them, right? And so now they're going to be like this. And you could do whatever, you know what I mean? They have two bodies. Two bodies. Okay, good. Yeah. Well, yeah. So, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? They could do what they're doing there and it soundproof the wall. How much would it cost?
00:45:11
Speaker
Sounds expensive for a movable wall. It's like $15,000. The profit margin's on that kind of view. No, I mean, it's got $2,500 a minute. Yeah, it's going to charge $15,000. That's pretty good, right? It depends on what's up. And we cater it to other people. Like sometimes it's like.
00:45:31
Speaker
You know what I mean? There's one body and two heads. Have you seen those ones? Okay. I don't think those survive. I just wonder how one person can have a relationship with somebody else. Because I feel like you'd effectively be having a relationship with two different people. It's difficult, dude. In fact, I would say that it's almost impossible. That's why I created the wall, man. But you're right. It's like, what do you do? I think what you'd have to do is, I mean, what I would have done,
00:46:00
Speaker
I mean, my brother would be dead. You would eat him? No, he would, he would just be like, dead. And I would just go, you know what I mean? Like, I would probably strangle him at night. Wouldn't you kill your other one? That might, that might affect you too. Cause I think I would ask the doctors. I was like, Hey, just supposedly, hypothetically, if Steve died, you know what I mean? Wink, wink, right? Would it kill my body? And the doctor goes, I don't think so.
00:46:27
Speaker
I would look at him. Then why wouldn't you just get cut and just like sever the two? He would just be ahead at that point. Because usually they don't separate them because... I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Yeah, this is crazy. Whatever I'm about to say. I think the reason why is because I would want more of the head part.
00:46:48
Speaker
but you wouldn't I want more of the head part you want because when you're in surgery right right in surgery they'll go 50 50 on the head part we're sharing right yeah but I would want a little bit more so I could just have more like room to mold you mean that opening whatever 51 49 no no no cuz he's gonna want
00:47:07
Speaker
You know what I mean? More head parts. So I just know this in my mind. So I'm like, I'm going to kill him. Right. And then I'm going to be like, I'll go. Yeah. Just doctor. Just you could just cut half of his head and we'll just mold it. You know what I mean? Into my, you know what I mean? After he's dead or something like that. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a thinker. It makes sense. Yeah.
00:47:25
Speaker
What an insane idea Pretty good, huh? I don't think we should make fun of people like that. That's sad. It's hard, right? What if the ones that like there was two girls you mean I guess And they got a driver's license and one cop what and one cop?
00:47:42
Speaker
That was a great movie. What a great movie. Do you see that, Jack? Two Girls One Cup? To me, I feel like you can squirt like, you know what I mean? Things in your butthole to make it look like poo. Yeah. And they can squeeze out like, you know, you know that icing, chocolate icing. The whole video came out as fake. What did you see that the whole video? Two Girls One Cup. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yes. So what happened? They injected. They injected like a fudge. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But I was just saying that. I know. But I'm extrapolating. Is that real? Smoothie. It's real.
00:48:10
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. They drank a strawberry smoothie. Yeah. Threw it up. Yeah. And then injected fudge. That's why that's why they did it. Yeah. That's the only way to do it. There's no way you could eat poo like that. There's no way. Just the way you said this. There's no way you could eat poo like that. Right? Would you? I would not. No, certainly not. Okay. What about this? 20 million to eat my poo. Yeah. But dude, that would be a tough day.
00:48:37
Speaker
I mean, $20 million in a day is pretty... You know, is that weird that you make that kind of money, though? Yeah. That's crazy. You make a lot of money. I make 20 million. How much do you make? I don't know. You don't know? You gotta have an idea. I don't have an idea. It's like a ballpark. Can we guess? No, I'll tell you why I don't know. I've never asked. Who do you have to ask? I have a got money guy, and when I first signed him 15 years ago,
00:49:03
Speaker
I don't want to know how much money I have. I don't want to I don't want to live in a life in a world where I'm like always looking at my bank account worried and this and that. So I don't know. But the only problem is how much does he take.
00:49:16
Speaker
He takes, uh, 2% of your income of your income. He has multiple clients then millions, not like a really credible ones. So how does it work? Do you just go to him? Say, Hey, can I afford this today? Or like, if you spend too much, he's like, Hey, you got to cut back. No, I call him. Like I called him. Yeah. Five days ago. And I said, I'm thinking about buying a new car. She said, all right, go ahead. It doesn't matter. He doesn't know what you got to tell him the price of the car, right?
00:49:41
Speaker
No, a couch. A couch? I said, sorry, couch. It could be like a cloud couch, though. 15 grand, or it could be IKEA. I could do 15 grand couch. You know what I mean? But you have no idea how much you make. I don't know how much I have either. You know, I think sometimes Andrew will go, this is what we're making this month. And I'll go, wow, that's crazy. You know what I mean? But I don't really think about it.
00:50:05
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I don't really, um... You curious? No. Is there anything you want to find? Because the numbers are really low, I'll just be depressed and I'll start panicking. Sure. I need to do more, right? But if you don't know, then you just kind of just, I just live my life. So you, okay. You know what I mean? What if the number's high? What if it's like a big number? It's probably high. Yeah. But probably it could be low. I mean, for me, it's like, I know that like, like I asked my money guy, I go,
00:50:31
Speaker
You know, how long can I not work? You mean until I run out of money? Yeah. He goes a long, long time.
00:50:42
Speaker
So you can go out a long, long time without working and you'll be fine. You know what I mean? So just as long as I know that I'm fine. So basically the way to figure it out. Well, I'm not going to tell you. You know, go ahead. It doesn't matter now. OK, you take your expenses, you're going to multiply that by about 30, maybe 33. And that's probably how much money you have your monthly expenses.
00:51:01
Speaker
Sorry, sorry annual expenses. I don't even know what that is. Okay. I don't know what I pay for my mortgage I don't know what I pay for my car. I don't know what insurance costs. I don't know what my lighting light utility costs I don't know all that's taken care of every bill every bill. I've never I don't even know where to phone bill I don't even know where to go to do it kind of sounds nice I'm not gonna lie like not have to worry about like ever missing a payment on something. What's his name? I'll call my guy and I go um
00:51:28
Speaker
Dude, my credit card's not working. He goes, what's the problem? He calls. And he goes, oh, well, it's been hacked, or what do you call it? Stolen, or something like that. Yeah, fraudulent charge. It's fraudulent. I put a freeze on it. And so you're going to have to use that other card for like a week. We'll get you another one. That kind of thing. But I don't really worry about it. And you're telling the same thing for investing. It's like, invest my money for me. Just do whatever you think is best. Safe.
00:51:54
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So he goes, yeah. And like, I know that he bought me many, like 15 years ago, he bought me like a condo or apartment complex or something. We went in with a group. Sure. And it's doing well. And I don't know. So I just kind of like let him do it. I don't do. Why do you why do you want to know?
00:52:14
Speaker
Oh, I mean, we're a money channel. Oh, that's kind of what I do. So like, yeah, that's all you are. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my entire main channel is about like investing, building wealth, saving money is a big one. So my thing, I could call you for help then.
00:52:30
Speaker
I'm not a financial advisor, but I know that I can just give you go. Hey, what do you think of this? You could get my opinion for sure. Yeah, I'm happy to get your number. Is that what it is? Yeah, they'll be real number. Yeah, for real. All right. Yeah, they'll be hurtful. I mean, my stuff is like pretty basic. I'm just like index funds are best for most people. Save your money. Don't buy Starbucks is a big one. Why save money? It's a waste. Like my belief. I'm making a home. Oh, you're one of those. Yeah, I am. Like you don't.
00:52:58
Speaker
Legitimately, I just I make coffee at home Really cheap. Oh, yeah. Oh, I don't want to call you I don't want your number. It's a it's a pride. It's fucking crazy Yeah, I believe if you could save money in the small things it transfers over to everything else It's like eating a snack like if you're going to the gym you want to get in shape You know a little snack and M&M isn't gonna hurt you this but it's like it's $650 you wouldn't have bought it. No
00:53:24
Speaker
Yeah, those are the ones I was running in at 500 bucks, but they were free. Actually, my entire outfit is free. I say this all the time. Oh my God. I would hate to date you. Oh my. What did you get your fiance? What do you mean? For a gift. For a gift? Yeah. Sushi. Okay. Yeah. Why do you make sushi at home?
00:53:42
Speaker
I don't know, I don't really know how to make sushi like that. I feel like it's easy, it's a better deal to go and get all you could eat sushi in Vegas for $30 than it is to go and make it at home. It's cheaper. Like we can eat a hundred dollars of it. I want to ask you, it's very interesting, okay? So it's like this, it's like going to all you can eat sushi, you know what I mean, at a gas station.
00:54:05
Speaker
Or, go to Asanaba, which is a, they used to be a Michelin star of social restaurant, it's really good. Yeah. Do you like ice cream? Fucking guy. Dude, this piece of shit right here, dude. Fuck you, dude.
00:54:18
Speaker
Do you like ice cream? Who the fuck don't like ice cream, bro? That's a fucking ridiculous question, man. I will say I actually don't like ice cream that much. Fucking guy. It's true. I prefer brownies, cookies, chocolates and stuff like that. Ice cream is too cold and it's hard to eat fast. Oh, you're one of those fast eaters? Oh, I eat so fast. Yeah. You don't enjoy it. I do enjoy it. No, you don't. I enjoy it. Enjoy it. If you're eating it fast. I enjoy it to a higher degree for a shorter amount of time. I've talked about this, but you don't know how to savor. No.
00:54:46
Speaker
Have you savored? He savored. No, I didn't. And you go, wow. He savors everything. Are you kidding me? I'm the opposite of that. When you have a very practical ear. If you do that in a restaurant, you do that when you eat pussy. You go, okay, good night.
00:55:02
Speaker
And they're like, what the fuck? What do you do? What? What do you do? Savor, dude. I'm down there till it's done. I'm, I slow it. We got my, you know, my napkin and my knife. You know what I mean? Split like this. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I do all that stuff, right? But you, you're like, you're done. You're not good, dude. You gotta change your ways. Just be your ways, man. Slow it down. When you eat anything, you eat fast too, huh? I do.
00:55:29
Speaker
I'm a you're a rabbit fucker right now. I'm a practically you know when he fucked you know when he fucked in It right you could tell he's a fucking power up rabbit fucker right this guy, right?
00:55:40
Speaker
Right? And they're like, I do not. And then it was like, oh, you know what I mean? And then you're done and you're like, you know, man, you're done. And you call your accountant. Right. And the girls in the bed got rabbit fucked by you. It's insane, dude. Stop that, too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stop it. I'm checking my credit score afterwards. Yeah. See, that's so weird that you do that. Yeah. Yeah. Do you not have credit karma? You just see what your credit score is. I don't I don't even know what it is. Okay.
00:56:08
Speaker
Like I said, dude, I don't care that much. You know, but there were times in my career where I did care because I had no money. Well, when you have no money, then you look. Because it's like, you know, you have four hundred seventy five dollars in your bank. That's all you have. Then you have to go.
Financial Struggles and Comedy Career
00:56:27
Speaker
Or what can I eat this week? Right. But if it's anywhere above, you make anything above.
00:56:34
Speaker
a half a million a year, why would you have to check? That's a lot of money. Yeah, how were you making it buy, though? What would you do to get by when you have $400 in the bank account? I would do random one-night gigs. There was always these things like triple runs back in the 90s. There were all these weird clubs that you could play, like in Tucson. It's a one-nighter, and they give you 300 cash or whatever. But I would do those kind of things.
00:57:06
Speaker
The comedy store owned a theater called the Richard Pryor Theater. I forgot what street it was on, but it was abandoned. And they told me there's people living in there and you and a bunch of like doorman at the comedy store have to go. And this is off the clock. And you guys have to clear them out. So we came with sticks and stuff. I would do random weird jobs like that, but I would do anything.
00:57:28
Speaker
to make money. Like, when I'm desperate for money, I'm willing to do anything. I'll wash dishes, you know what I mean? I'll do grout work. I don't know what that is, but you know. Sure. But I'll like, you know, I'll spank or whatever, you know what I mean? Where'd you get that work ethic from? It's not work ethic. I'm lazy. Ask anyone. Everyone. Sorry. I get energy. Everyone knows I'm a lazy fuckface. I'm very lazy, but I don't also want to eat and survive. Also, you know, when was the last time you were poor?
00:57:57
Speaker
High school, maybe you were I mean were your parents were poor they were very much paycheck to paycheck Yeah, oh, yeah But it was never the point where like we were ever concerned about like not having food or not having like a roof over our head You give your parents money now um to some degree. What do you mean?
00:58:16
Speaker
To some degree, I do. But I know I've always thought I've set my mom money. You know what I mean? It's a good thing to do. I want to be a good son. So you were poor in high school. How about you? When's the last time you were poor? I don't think I was ever poor, but there were definitely times where I would not, like all of my friends would be going out to eat and I wouldn't buy anything because I... That's poor. My parents had money, they just wouldn't give it to me. Like I just didn't.
00:58:38
Speaker
so if there's no time in your 20 how old are you now 20 20 24 yeah fuck you're such a baby i was the guy in the friend group that would never when we all wait for like three months i mean only 24 years when from 18 to 20 what the fuck you're talking about high school i mean you're what do you
00:58:55
Speaker
I'm talking about like in your 20s, late 20s, you're living with 12 guys in a two bedroom apartment, which is what I did. And you're sleeping like sardines, like it's Amistad, right? And you're no one can eat. And you're like you do like I was in despair.
00:59:11
Speaker
There was many times in my career where I was in despair. I've gone through so many phases in the comedy business, you know what I mean, where stand-up was dead, or, you know what I mean, this was in and this was in, you know what I mean, I've been able to figure out how to kind of adapt to each era. When you're poor, you know. But when you have some money, why do I...
00:59:35
Speaker
So I've, a lot of people that were poor at some period of time in their lives are less scared of going back to being that because they know what it was like. And they know it's not like the worst thing in the entire world. It's the worst thing in the whole world. You really think so? Being poor? So I know I've heard this from plenty of people that have been in situations like that were like, okay, I could always go back to sleeping on my parents couch and I'm totally cool with that. That's why they're not afraid of. Well, I could, you know, you're right. I mean, I could go to my mom, like if really things went bad.
01:00:01
Speaker
You know, because I bought my mom's house and it's a small little house in Phoenix. So if things got really bad, I could go home.
01:00:12
Speaker
live in my room and do that. It'd be so depressing, but yeah, I guess I could do that. But I think that I would be so depressed if that happened. Wouldn't you be depressed? I don't know. I think I'd be fine. How about you? Living at your mom's house? Yeah, probably. No money. Yeah. I don't know how long I would be fine with it for, but I love going back to this. I do it like at least once a month and I stay out there. Yeah. We have to have more empathy for people. People are struggling out there. What do we do? You think there's
01:00:42
Speaker
Do you think there's going to be a recession? Bro. Bro. Bro. That little gap.
01:00:51
Speaker
when that happened was so awkward and so good. It was so uncomfortable, right? It's almost as if like I said something and it went to a different multiverse and you received it in a different, you know what I mean, plane almost. That was insane. Like you're like an Android and you just couldn't comprehend, you know what I mean? Did you see that? Right? I go, what do we do? You know what I mean? Like something fucking weird happened.
01:01:20
Speaker
Like, he has no empathy. You have no empathy, is that what it is? That was insane, dude. Wow, that was uncomfortable. Holy shit, dude. Don't ever do that again. There's like 20 questions in my head. I don't know what happened, though. But you fucking... I know. I threw that out there. Dude, you broke down almost for a second.
01:01:39
Speaker
And you rev back up. Oh my god, that was insane. Let's just go to a youth. No, because you're not functioning correctly. Yeah, I got a question. Yeah, go ahead. Because you mentioned in the podcast that you became a comedian because you didn't like the fact that you felt like other people did not like you. What? You became a comedian because you thought other people didn't like you.
01:01:56
Speaker
And I never said that you said that on a podcast. I listened to the podcast earlier today It was on Lex Rubin you think you always thought people didn't like you. Yeah, so you became a comedian. Oh, yeah I did say that I did say that you like to crack jokes and be a funny person because that's an easy way to get people to like
01:02:11
Speaker
I don't know exactly what I said, but yeah, I mean, you know, I don't think that it's strange to think that, you know, I mean, people don't like you. I mean, I have a lot of friends, really, you know, I had a core group of friends, but I wasn't popular in any kind of way, you know, so it's like, I felt invisible is what I think when I wanted to say, every time I would walk into a place, I would feel invisible, like no one was seeing me or noticing me.
01:02:37
Speaker
So what did you do to change that exactly? Did you just feel more comfortable being yourself and saying the things that were on top of your mind and stuff like that? No, I just started doing stand up. That was it? Yeah, because, you know, it was like the first time where it's so sad to say even, but it's the first time where I felt like, OK, like at least, you know, I mean, the focus is on me for a second, you know, and, you know, it felt like I was being seen or whatever in the beginning.
01:03:04
Speaker
But then you get used to it like anything else. But yeah, I mean, but what it did help me with is like I think I said this before earlier in the podcast where it helped me with the confidence to go out in the real world and be seen. It's almost as if like I was like.
01:03:21
Speaker
it transferred over into the public. Even though I wasn't even famous, when I went to my waiting job, for instance, there was just more of an air about me of more confidence. People responded to me in a different way. It's an upward spiral of success. You get one little win, and it's like you get the confidence to do another one. And that gives you the confidence to do another one. It builds on each other.
01:03:43
Speaker
I mean, but like you have to imagine I'm you know 1995 I started okay, and I've been doing it since then okay, so it's like And back then there was no internet so I had to do it the old-fashioned way which is like slow and painful and
01:04:03
Speaker
you know, a billion gigs, terrible gigs, night after night, going on the road to a Holiday Inn in the middle of a desert and doing it in front of three fucking rednecks or whatever. I mean, that's constant, right? For years, no money. You know, now it's like kids instantly become famous because of TikTok or whatever, which is fine. I have no, you know what I mean? That's your life, you know what I mean? And good for you. But
01:04:30
Speaker
I did not experience that. We were talking about the other night, a bunch of comics, older comics, were like, thank God for the internet, because it's like, it just became easier to reach an audience. It's like, and went from like, you know what it is? It's like, LA used to be 12 gatekeepers.
01:04:54
Speaker
like 12 people that if like eight of them didn't like you, good luck. Right. But now it's like, oh, you know what? We don't need you. I'm just going to go to the people.
01:05:06
Speaker
Because that's what you block. You were blocking me from the people before by not putting me in shit. Right. So now we can just go to them. And then that's now I'm like, see. Yeah. Like I always knew that. But it's like so for the gatekeepers, are they the ones that like comedy clubs or no gatekeepers were like TV and movies.
01:05:25
Speaker
Well, like one of the gatekeepers that did like me was I felt was Alison Jones. She was she's one of the greatest casting directors and she always booked me in things. You know, I mean, I was the dictator and Caribbean enthusiasm and, you know, love the Apatow, enjoyed Apatow stuff. You know, I mean, and I always loved her. She was always like I felt like
01:05:44
Speaker
She got me and she but the I would love to name names. Yeah, I'm this close to doing it But like they just wouldn't give me the time of day They didn't see it. They would say things like he's not a star or we don't see it. They'll see that out loud Did you believe or internalize that when they do believe it? Oh, yeah. Well because then you know that they hired your friend and
01:06:08
Speaker
You know what I mean? And all my friends are more special than me or whatever. But then it's like you go to the people and people are like, no, no, no, that's legit. You know what I mean? And it's like going right to the fucking tap. Yeah. It's just like instant feedback I've heard is when you post something like that, you could tell within a minute how it's received. Yeah. But what's also helped me with it's also helped me get into projects so much easier now.
01:06:34
Speaker
Like, you know, Reservation Dong's Sex and the City and Magnum PI were the latest three shows I was on. They were all offers, right? I mean, they just like, can you want to do it? Whereas if that happened 15 years ago,
01:06:47
Speaker
even if I could get an audition, which I would never have gotten one, you know
Balancing Entertainment Forms and Authenticity
01:06:52
Speaker
what I mean? You're getting pitted against 50 other people. It's just like a long shot. It's never gonna fucking happen. But now it's just like, you know what? I don't need that. I'll do this. And now they're like, well, come play. And I'm like, oh, I will.
01:07:07
Speaker
How much time are you dedicating now to your podcast versus everything else? What do you mean? Like, uh, I guess job wise, like it has, has the podcast gotten to a point now where it's like, you know, you don't need anything else. Is that the goal? I do need other things because it's like, it doesn't fulfill all my desires. Um,
01:07:32
Speaker
But no, because I have to do stand up. Sure. And I do love acting, you know, but for right now, it's where I make most of my money. If I toured more, I could make more money doing that. But I'm going out with Andrew, you know, so we're doing we just did 26 cities. We did San Diego, you know, different gigs. And it's been incredible. I mean, you know, I used to sell
01:07:57
Speaker
I mean, I could sell out a comedy club, but now it's like we're doing these theaters and it's so fucking amazing. So I'm not going to quit podcasting. I love it. But I want to do all the other things as well. But it's like.
01:08:10
Speaker
But it's also at the end of the day, I don't know what's next. Do you? With AI coming around the corner, we have no idea what the next fad's gonna be, the next TikTok, the next Vine, you know what I mean? I mean, people like, movies and television shows are fucking dying because of the internet now, you know what I mean? Just people can consume other things, you know? And one day they might get tired of us. They might get tired of YouTube.
01:08:38
Speaker
I think for the next few years, I think it's podcasting and shorts, and I've seen a lot of comedians on TikTok. Who's that one guy who just rips off the crowd? Yeah, Matt Rife. Yeah, and he's just posting his three-minute segments on TikTok. Millionaire. The amount of money that he has to be making right now, because he's posting over one minute. Millionaire. My guess, he's probably making a million a month.
01:09:02
Speaker
I don't want to get into his business, but I know the deal that I was in the high millions, yeah. Oh yeah, I believe it. Yeah, he's killing it. But he deserves that. Yeah. Matt Rife was somebody that I knew for a very long time and he was always doing it. How did you meet him? Is it just a small... A comic that we would see at gigs and stuff. I mean, he's a kid that did the business. He has street credibility. Yeah. That's why Matt Rife making it doesn't... It makes me happy. Yeah.
01:09:29
Speaker
It makes me go, you know what, that kid fucking deserves it. Because I know he's been, he did the deal, you know? When people don't do the deal, I don't have respect for it. What do you mean by the deal? The suffering. Okay. There's got to be some suffering, you know what I mean? You got to go, you know, you got to come to LA or New York and go, if you want to be a standup and go through that process, because that's where the best comics are, right? New York and LA, right? You got to go to those cities.
01:09:57
Speaker
and you go, listen, I didn't, no money, showed up, no one knew who I was, they treated me like shit, and I looked at everyone I want, you'll see one day. And I, through time, slowly crawled my way up. You know, like anyone that makes a Taylor Tomlinson, young,
01:10:15
Speaker
But I know that she grinded. I know she's a part of that that scene. You know, I've seen her around as a young person, you know, maybe, you know, anyone. Now, I'm curious when you see these people, do you know instantly that they have what it takes or do you think this is something where it's like they have the perseverance and the dedication. They're going to make it. No, no, no. You either have it or you don't. But I have seen people go and go and not laugh and go, that guy's going to make it.
01:10:41
Speaker
Like, it's not my brand of comedy, but I look at it and I go, you know what, dude, this guy's so good. I just, it's not my thing. You know what I mean? I can do to see that. I mean, I feel like I have a good sense of things. Sometimes people surprise me, though. You know, I'm not right all the time. You know what I mean? But for the most part, I could kind of see somebody and go, yeah, that person. Like, I was there when I first saw Andrew Santino. The first time I saw Andrew Santino, this is 12, 14, I don't know how long ago, many years ago.
01:11:10
Speaker
and I sat there and I was in the original room and I saw him perform and he was young and I went and I was sitting there with another guy and we looked at each other and I went, yeah, that guy's good. You just can tell, you know? Do you feel offended when people use words that are like derogatory towards Asian people? No. I don't get offended by anything. I get offended by behavior.
01:11:32
Speaker
Right? Actions. You know, if I see somebody do something terrible, but if it's in comedy, right, I don't get it bad fended. I'm kind of the same. I've never been sensitive. If I know someone's joking, like, even if they use a slur towards me or something, something I subscribe to, I'm totally fine with it. As long as I know, it's like they don't actually have that, like, angry vitriol for me. Yeah. The problem is, though, is that
01:11:57
Speaker
People that are fans of mine know pretty much how I do things and how I deliver things and say things. But I've fallen into situations where people that have no idea who I am and they listen to a little clip of me, it's problematic to them. And I hate that.
01:12:21
Speaker
you know see i think i don't get offended but i do think some jokes can be distasteful i think like um you know like animal abuse i think of like really like the submarine like the submarine jokes i didn't find the fun i wasn't offended
01:12:37
Speaker
I was like, you know, I get the humor behind it, but I was like, I don't know, man. For me, it's like, you know, like I know Jimmy Carr in a Jimmy Carr. He's an English comic, one of the best. His jokes are so fucking dark and edgy. You know what I mean? And they're so good. I mean, just just the writing in it is so good. The switches. And it's like he says fucked up things. And it's in the in the form of a joke. Yeah. It's in the context of a comedy, whatever, whatever.
01:13:06
Speaker
You know what I mean? It's fine. This is not real life. Even me talking to you guys right now. This isn't me talking to my friend, you know what I mean? At Starbucks or whatever. No, this is an elevated, exaggerated, half the things that I say. I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about.
01:13:22
Speaker
I don't even think I believe half the things I say or do, you know what I mean? I'm just here to fill the gaps and my mind goes, oh, this will be good. Let's try this. Let's try this, you know what I mean? But it's like, this is not real. I mean, this is entertainment. It's our version of this is how you really are.
01:13:39
Speaker
That's no no because if we were no that's if we turned all this off, and we sat down Right you would be more free to say certain things. I would just yeah I don't want to say that I don't want to say that yeah, maybe like 25 percent, but that's not still essentially who you are in real life right it's still in an Elevated or you know an exaggerated version of who you are yeah, you know
01:14:01
Speaker
But good job. Thanks for having me on. Wait, we got to show you. We got it. We got to talk about a video. Yeah. I'm going to say congratulations on the body transformation because I saw this video of you. It was great. I didn't even know it was you. Do you have any comments? We want you to comment on this.
01:14:28
Speaker
The top comment said that someone has to show this to Bobby Lee. It got a lot of thousands of... Thanks for having me on. Thank you so much for coming on, Bobby. This is a fighter.