Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Gritty is the New Pretty, where resilience meets real talk. I'm your host, Crystal, entrepreneur, leadership coach, changemaker, and outdoor enthusiast.
Speaker: Join me as I sit down with powerhouse women leaders, entrepreneurs, and small business owners who share their raw, unfiltered stories of success, struggle, and the grit it takes to make an impact. From navigating change to redefining success, we'll explore what it takes to rise, lead, and thrive.
Speaker: Expect raw conversations to fuel your journey, whether you're breaking down barriers in life or in business. We're redefining success, not by perfection, but by the strength it takes to rise again and again. Because in this space, gritty is the new pretty.
Speaker: Hit subscribe and let's get gritty with it.
Speaker: On today's episode of Gritty is the New Pretty, we have Laisha Howard, a former C-suite executive, author, and founder of 1214 Collective. After navigating discrimination, corporate intimidation, single motherhood, and the cost of standing up for accountability, Laisha transformed those experiences into a leadership journey rooted in healing, resilience, and refusing to bow out at the first no.
Speaker: Welcome. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Wow. I'm like, I, that... That was a really good introduction. It's like, it hits all the spots. Yeah. This is the second time I've heard that from a guest. So maybe I have a new skill in introducing people. Yes, you got it.
Speaker: I love it. I love it. Well, the first question I always ask is, tell us about you. yeah Oh, that's that's a that's a big one. Yeah. way to learn.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. I feel like I've lived so many lives, and maybe I have, but about me is, you know, I'm a mom first, and but I'm also a woman first. So I think there's that. It's, you know, I'm Laisha. But motherhood and being a mom of one, my daughter's 25, she'll be 26 in September.
Speaker: Well, I have one, she is literally like five in one, and that is real. um But I that has been my greatest accomplishment outside of my executive leadership roles outside of running a business outside of being an author and a writer and a founder and CEO being a mother is is is really who I am and I think that.
Speaker: I'm fortunate that her friends kind of looked to me as her mother or their mother. And so it's like, I have all of these kids. But yeah, and I'm a daughter and a friend and um I'm an introvert, actually, that surprises a lot of people. So I kind of say that I'm this like, introverted extrovert. You know, I'm extroverted with the people that I know and my friends and You know, I love to host. I love to have my friends over and have wine night and, um you know, have movie night or just the girls to just chat or people, you know, game night. But otherwise, I just really love being by myself.
Speaker: So, yeah, it's like I do not. And I don't know if that's a Sagittarius thing in me, but I really like my alone time and I need that. So that's who I am.
Speaker: I think I kind of answered that. did i Yeah. I, I love that you, you know, mentioned you're a mother first. I have two young boys and it's very much the focal point of my existence right now. And I just, um, the last episode that we just launched, we were talking about serving with the community of women. If your business serves women,
Speaker: there's this undertone that we aren't thinking how many of about how many women are so are mothers. And then we aren't thinking about how many of them, we're kind of thinking, oh, postpartum only lasts for a couple of years, but really you're always going to be a mother.
Speaker: And that's always going to be a part of your identity, even as you develop your career, as you change the the trajectory of your life, as you move on. And so i feel like, you know, before I had kids, that was not something that I thought about at all, ever. And now I'm just hearing that theme so much. And I think there's such a good conversation about how we navigate our lives being a mom and being a professional or an entrepreneur or author. And what does that look like? And how do we serve women that are mothers?
Speaker: better. Right. So yeah, I love that. It just to all ties in. it does. It does. And I think that that's the, that is, i think that's the missing ingredient, right? It's how do we, how do we do that? I think for me, I'm in this very, really weird place right now, I think with motherhood and the sense of I'm no longer her manager.
Speaker: i i don't manage her life anymore. Well, sometimes I do, it feels like it. ah But i i'm more I'm a consultant now, right, to her, you know? And obviously she's my VIP client.
Speaker: I'm always gonna be there. i'm She's gonna get red carpet service. um And so, but I have to navigate. It's like, she's an adult, she's living on her own. She has her own profession. But yet there's, you so I still need mom in many ways. And so much of my life hat and my identity has been around motherhood.
Speaker: And so this process for me now, it's, you know, living alone. I mean, she comes home and visits and so she's home, right? But, you know, living by myself and adjusting to that transformation of, I don't have this responsibility every day to another human being. And what, who am I outside of writing books? Who am I outside of, you know, sitting in a boardroom? Who am i outside of starting another venture, another business? um But motherhood up until really, I feel like in this last year has really been like, you just, you just go, you just do it, you just do it.
Speaker: And now it's like, well, what, what's my life look like? And it's been consumed with a lot of grief as well. Right. So it's like in the, you know, this, I'll try not to cry. This weekend is the fifth anniversary of my dad's passing.
Speaker: And so you you know, i was saying something earlier, you know how sometimes the wind blows and you get a certain scent and you, it just takes you right back. And that's how I felt this morning on my run. And i just broke down and just started bawling. And it was like, not only who am i but what next? And,
Speaker: Grief is always ongoing and it's going to hit you at when you least expect it. And, oh, yes, my kid's in Europe and I'm worrying about her because I'm a mother.
Speaker: What does it look like for me to be able to be just be be present and be OK this? you know, where I'm at in my life. And so it's like trying this new identity, this transformation, right. But still staying true to myself. And so I think that's where I've been. I would say there's been a lot of transformation for me between when I published my first book in 2019 to, you know, today there's, and in deciding to leave the the corporate world of like, I'm just going to keep beating you over the head and I'm, and I keep showing up and taking it you know, and um realizing that I can be smart and be successful without
Speaker: the pressure and the the stress to constantly be making someone else money, you know? And so, yeah just all of those things. I hope that stayed on topic a little bit, but I think that that's where kind of this transformation and and really identifying motherhood and then, you know, who is Laisha Howard, you know, outside of motherhood and yeah, being able to say no, being able to tell my daughter, you know what? I just can't do it today.
Speaker: it was so hard the other day. I actually had to tell her, you know, I was like, I don't have the bandwidth to take on what your, your stress. And of course it's hard. I mean, she's all the way in London right now. And I'm like, I want to fix everything. But if I don't take a step back, I'm gonna, I'm not going to be here for her. You know, and I've experienced a lot of health issues over the last several years. And so I think that that really having those things hit home for me, it's been like eye opening of like, yeah, girl, you got to get your shit together. You know, you got to take care of yourself because at the end of the day, no one else is but you. Yeah, exactly. Hundred percent. No one is going to no one's going to advocate for you like you. No one's going to take care of you. like you and transformation is happening all the time and I think especially for us as women and mothers there's so many stages and you mentioned that you had this transformation from this executive role tell me about that experience
Speaker: Oh, gosh. Well, there's been a couple transformations, I feel like, from executive roles. And let's hope I've learned my lesson of just like, don't go back and take any more crap. But don't get, you know, it's easy. It's like, oh, someone talks you into it. And it's like, okay, I'll take on this role. I can do it. It's going to be great. I can change, right?
Speaker: Being a change maker, going in, developing, improving, you know, systems and strategies and culture. but it's, I think once it gets to a place where it's like, you feel like it's sucking the life out of you, that's when you know you have to to change. Right. um And again, there's, i don't know if you've heard of the book and you probably have, I shouldn't say, I don't know if you heard it, but the body keeps a score.
Speaker: And I always refer back to that whenever I think about my time, my early days in corporate, when I did go through a huge transformation, but it was forced in in many ways is because I was dealing with discrimination in the workplace and being, you know, a senior leader in the organization. And that was probably a really pivotal moment in my career when the ah the executive leadership team and the ownership and the investors essentially was like,
Speaker: they there was admission to fault that, yes, we have been doing this to you. And the the sadness and the pain that that brought on me, ah it just, I can't even explain it because you go back to thinking, I actually really like, I love everybody that work with. I really come here to do this thing and to be good at this, to help improve your business, to help grow people. And then for it to happen and you know what's happening, and
Speaker: you, you know, cause I think women sometimes were just like, let's not rock the boat. But this was one moment where I was just like, oh, we're going to rock this boat because it was so in my face. And i was just, and there there was fear too, to rock the boat, right?
Speaker: i I'm risking my career. I'm risking 10 years of being at this organization. And, um and I took that risk and, you know, I'm, i there was I remember someone asked me ah years ago and they said, who taught you, like who modeled this behavior for you to advocate for yourself or to stand up for yourself or to know when to rest, to know when to like take a pause. And, you know, my mom was always good at, yes, advocate you have to advocate and stand up for yourself. But when it really came to, what does it look like to just take a beat, to rest, to choose rest over, you know, chaos,
Speaker: I was like, I had to, it was watching other people. It was going through those experiences, those moments of feeling beat down in my corporate work and coming home and not having anything for my my daughter. you know And she was grade school age and and just feeling so you know helpless and defeated.
Speaker: And so I'm like, I don't want her to ever experience, if she experiences that she's going to have the tools in her back pocket to be able to navigate life like this, because it will come.
Speaker: And it just, unfortunately, this is the world, right? We live in. And, and so I had to do that in part, again, it goes back to motherhood, right? It goes back to like, that that's where our grit comes from, you know, at least for me. And I do feel like that. I often tell, you know, when I describe my daughter, I'm like, oh yeah, she's got a lot of grit. She's just hardcore. And it's because she's been able to see me model that behavior, right? And and so, yeah, I think going through it and getting, you know, it's like a ball coming right at you and you just stand there and you just keep taking and you keep, at some point you got to move out of the way, right?
Speaker: because now it's just your fault. And so that was for me. And when I decided that, oh, I've got this nugget of a gem and it's called my brain and it lives within me. And um I was like, okay, we're going to launch 1214. And so 1214, I've been able to, you know, kind of revive again since leaving my last executive role. And I, it's been great. It's been great because it's allowed me the flexibility to still work with organizations, work with C-suite executive leaders, and essentially tell them a lot of the things that most people won't.
Speaker: And it's you, just because you have this title does not make you a leader. I think there's something, some affirmation in my first book that I said that I, I say that, but I'm really big on that really heavy on, we've got to stop using our titles to like, you know, enter into the room. I could care less if you were a janitor, but ah the janitor is probably a better leader than the person running that Fortune 500 company, right?
Speaker: Probably so. They probably have better people skills. And so that's what really getting um people to understand and to really like walk the walk and talk the talk of being in leadership roles. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. So there's the transform some of the transformation. Yeah. and I'm sorry that you had to go through that experience. And i your i think your experience is probably one that women often face alone, especially in us In a generation where women are just sort of breaking into the executive leadership spaces, we don't have that mentorship of...
Speaker: I'm starting to feel like something isn't right here. And, you know, I've had a conversation with Stacey Cernich. She's the CEO of Good Roots Northwest. And one of the things that she talked about was in meetings that she knows she's going to get questioned more about the budgets.
Speaker: Absolutely. And I'm like, 100%. I've experienced that in my roles where my role was mostly to question others. But what I got was when I questioned them, I got pushback and eye rolls. Right, right. Because they're like, oh, you you question everything I do. Right, right. First of all.
Speaker: that's my job to make sure that you know what you're doing. Right. But right the perception from them was that I'm nagging and I'm just bugging them. And it's like, Nope, I'm doing my job. And they're like, well, this is how we've always done it mean you've been doing it right.
Speaker: Right. Right. I'm here to call you out. But, you know, and I think that that's why, I believe coaching and mentorship is so important for women navigating those spaces because sometimes there's ways you can address it before it gets too far. And then sometimes there's that point, like you said, where you got to get out of the way or you got to kick that ball right back in their face and you got to be prepared to walk away or actually do something formal or legal and step in and advocate for yourself because you're not it's also not just about us anymore individually it can be but the next person that's in that spot is gonna have probably a similar situation if we don't say something or do something about it yeah yeah and I think that's so is so so true i mean i was in aerospace corporate for a long time as well and I will never forget know would sit in a boardroom with
Speaker: you know, 15 men and I'd be the only woman in that room. And, oh my goodness, when it was time for me to come out, it's just like, hello, spotlight. I did not hear all you asked this person, all of these questions, you know? And so you're doing this, these mental gymnastics before you even walk in the room.
Speaker: Right. Because you're just like, I have to prove myself even more. And, um, one of my clients I was just talking with yesterday And she was just like, i was preparing this.
Speaker: I had to prepare this board deck and there was something else. And just the exhaustion of just preparing that I could hear it in her voice and the report out, right. It's, and then knowing that other people would not be expected to do the same, but she is. And so coaching her to like, here's all, here's the high level things that you can point, you know,
Speaker: talk through because, ah you know, she hadn't had that before. She hasn't had, you know, Laisha come in and she's a new, she's a new executive leader, right? So she's been in leadership roles, but being, you know, at the top. And so what does that look like? We do need coaching. We need support. And it can't be, I mean, no offense to our guys, but it it can't always be men, you know, doing it. And I think that us as women too, one of the things that I've, I think is so important is,
Speaker: being able to share our stories with each other, right? To know that we're not in this alone or that someone else has gone through it. um We as women tend to gatekeep because we have been in these you know roles where they're primarily dominated by men, right? And so you're like, oh, I got to gatekeep because i this is this is my my you know path to great success. Absolutely not.
Speaker: Start your own business. Take your brain and your skills and it some work, something, you know, I'm not saying quit, but. Yeah, you are. guy I am. I am. I'm saying, you know, we are literally the smartest people on the planet. So let's, let's do something. with that Yeah, i think you but, you know, I think there's a time and a place and everything has a season.
Speaker: And, you know, I left a career I never thought I'd leave because I worked my butt off to get there because I had A baby. And I wanted to spend more time with my baby. And I didn't want to be gone 12 hours a day. And I didn't want to be getting phone calls at three and four in the morning. You know, I wanted to be present with my child and not have the mom guilt that I had. um And you know there may be a time where I go back to that space, but I also gave so much energy to that organization to every organization I work for. I give so much energy because I'm always innovating and change making and being a leader, whether I have a title or not. And that brings me to one of the quotes that resonated with me from your book, Untethered, is you do not owe them anything.
Speaker: Loyalty is earned. And I feel like that resonates obviously on a personal level, but also on a professional level, because i feel like I gave them so much, you know, like 12 years and i went through a lot of crap just like I'm sure you went through a lot of crap and a lot of women that are with the company for a time that move up go through lot there's a lot of drama that ensues in your career and i felt like I had the sense of loyalty to them and then left
Speaker: That was a hard choice. i I felt like I was walking away and abandoning them in a way. And it was a hard choice, but then I also sort of realized how, what what they were really like, the way they treated me when they knew I was leaving. Right, right. And that's what somebody told me too. Right.
Speaker: you always can find out more about an organization, how they treat their people on how they treat their people. Once they know that you're leaving the company. Absolutely. and Yeah. And that's, Oh yeah.
Speaker: Maybe I should go back and read that sometime. but i that actually is two part because that was in part to leaving my last, you know, CEO role and executive role and,
Speaker: I, this loyalty, i felt like, oh my God, I can't leave, you know? and but I look back, I had i something. i I look back and I was like, you have done all you can. And this is, you're at a place right now where it's literally killing you. This is killing you to do this job. You can't, it is taking you away from your core, your center of like who you are. And you're just,
Speaker: you really, it was like, I'm just a shell of who I am anymore. And, and then it was also too, the grief that I have gone through, um, you know, in losing several family members and, a you know, close friend over the last five years, so much, you know death and then grief of leaving the job and preparing for that and grieving people that are still here. Right.
Speaker: And, but when that reflection was, really a lot of going inward and being like, you have to choose yourself because you've done all you can do and you don't owe anyone. And the loyalty then comes back to yourself, right? And then to your point, I was treated really horrible when I left. and I never thought, I thought you you think, and I'm just like, I've been around the block many times, but then to think that I just left and everything shifted. It was like all these praises before
Speaker: But it was a really nasty exit. And nasty exit, and I say because they were they were really mean. They were really mean and they were really, um everything went out the window of like, take care of yourself. We appreciate everything you've done and contributed in the last like six years. And it was just like, they were mad. And so when people are mad, they do awful things.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. you know, no matter how old you are, it's like, you know, your behavior is your behavior. And that for me was confirmation that I was even more so making the right decision. Right.
Speaker: You know? And so, yeah. That's a horrible way though, to like end your legacy there. Right. And that's, that's the thing about the loyalty where it's like,
Speaker: i Mine wasn't that wasn't as severe, but I felt like truly I was just another cog in the wheel when I know that my reputation there while I was there was not that, right? Where I was like person that was handed... We need this solved. We need you to do this. We need this. Crystal's on it. dadadadada And then it's like when I was leaving, it was sort of like, we don't trust you anymore. or you know it was just not And it was more of a bigger picture, a different group than my actual internal team, which were very great and supportive. But that's such a crappy way to end
Speaker: in that portion of your life, but it does validate that you did make the right choice. And, you know, we talked about your book, Untethered. This is your second book, correct? Yes, that is my second book. Tell us about Untethered and what inspired it, because it's not a normal novel or book as you might think. So tell us about it.
Speaker: and so I love hearing that. It's not a normal yeah book. It's not. there's a lot of things about me that are not normal. no It's like, it depends which day you ask me. um and And, Tether was really, it's very different from fill Your Tank, the first book. Fill Your Tank, it's one hundred daily affirmations of inspiration and reflection. And when I wrote that, that one was really around, my daughter was going off to college and I had been sending her a lot of affirmations. She was dealing with her own mental health struggles and you know, anxiety and depression was just like this monkey on her back. And, you know, she's this young, you know, soccer star and she's going to play soccer in college and pursue all of her dreams. And, but depression and anxiety, they don't wait for you. Right. It's like, it doesn't say, Oh, let me just take a back seat while you, you know, go fly here and play soccer.
Speaker: It's saying I'm going to be here at every turn and good luck trying to conquer it. And so my way of helping her through that outside from her getting actual, you know, treatment from a therapist. And it was, here's just to remind you of like how amazing you are.
Speaker: And, um, and then just, it kind of became this thing. I was just posting on social media and everybody kind of started grabbing onto it And I'm like, okay, that's great. Anyway, wrote a book. And so then untethered kind of became that version for myself, um,
Speaker: And so Untethered were a lot of daily things that I was saying to myself as I had been processing this grief. um i was in the middle of writing my memoir when I wrote Untethered. And so I've been writing my memoir for about four years now. And that's a very different book, a very, you know, very personal, very deep, um hard and beautiful read.
Speaker: And so, but Untethered was a lot of like, real time untethering, real time letting go for me. So it was kind of like the fill your tank for me that I needed.
Speaker: It was the rawness that I needed to to say what was happening for me during all of this time while I'm still trying to work and, you know, um take care of home and all of the things and going through this process of my daughter, you know, moving on to play professional soccer in England and transforming then of whats what's my life like and then losing my dad and before she left and losing my dog of 14 years and and then also supporting her through her grief. So Untethered was just me, just really raw and just letting it out writing it and writing these things down to myself. Untethered gave me permission to really start untethering because it was like,
Speaker: girl, you've got to do the work again. You've got more work in you, you know? And so that's kind of how I looked at it. It was like okay, you've got, you've got to get your stuff together. And that looked like me filing for divorce, me saying, i have to untether from this version of me as a wife.
Speaker: I'm not that wife anymore. You know, um, untethering from the the corporate leader, you know, I can still be successful and run my own company.
Speaker: um Because untethering allowed me to get real and be honest with myself. And it's still, I'm still a work in progress like we all are. I'm still untethering.
Speaker: You know, I mean, I was breaking down crying with my dog this morning on a run. She's probably like, why is this lady crying? Yeah. You know, so it's untethering, right? It's because we're human and we're going through things. And so I've, you know, what's interesting is I didn't realize that untethered would resonate with as many people that it has. And some people, you know, i don't, I don't really bank on like reviews, Amazon reviews. or anything Yes, those are great. But when people actually speak to it, or they'll send me a message and just like, I just flipped open this page, and it just spoke to me. I'm like, that's the best review that I can get.
Speaker: If you don't like it, it's not for you. That's okay. I didn't write, I wrote it for myself. It was my letter to myself, you know? so yeah, yeah Yeah, when i I didn't know what to expect, to be honest, when I started reading it and essentially every page is an affirmation or some sort of saying, like you said, that you've been telling yourself and you were going through all of this grief. And I just felt like I felt like I've been there, you know, with when I lost my best friend tragically and, you know, starting a nonprofit in her honor. But the grief is so powerful. i
Speaker: I can't, I mean, you can't really describe it until you've been through that bone. And there's different griefs, like, you know, changing your career and stuff. But when you lose someone you love, yeah like in even a pet that you love, that's a part of your mental model of every day of your existence and support system, the hole in your heart that it leaves and the score that your body does keep. I have read that book and I will tell you the anniversary of my best friend's death for the first few years.
Speaker: I would get depressed. It took me a little bit to realize why that was happening. And my um our mutual good friend, she'd call me and we would just be crying on the phone. It's been three years and we're just crying. right And it it's not like we weren't even thinking about it. Right. But we can feel it. And so a hundred percent. And like when I read on one of the quotes, you say, today I rest tomorrow. I commit to myself. I honor grief. in all of its phases. That's one of the things you say. and I always say this, like, I'm getting emotional talking about my friend and your grief, but, um,
Speaker: allow yourself that time to cry on your run. Allow yourself that time. I'm like, all right, I'm going to just sit and I'm going watch Grey's Anatomy, which is literally like the dumbest show ever, but it makes me cry all the time and eat ice cream and be pathetic and be, and just let it out and be sad.
Speaker: But you know what? The next day going to get, get up and I'm going to move on. if I don't allow myself that time to grieve and that time to process, you just tuck it away. And then it comes out when it's not supposed to, or like when you're really stressed. And so do you have a lot of these really great pieces of information in here, because I'm like, you have to do that. Even if it's 10 years, 10 years, if you're still grieving, you're still grieving. You're still grieving. And, you know, healing is not linear, you know, and grief doesn't have a timeline. And that's what I've learned. And that's, I think that's, what's been really interesting about Untethered too, is because it's allowed me to to be okay with that grief and to know that it can happen. And like I said, you know, earlier when you just get a whiff of the wind blows and you're just like, oh my God, it just took me right back to, you know, this, like I said, this is the weekend that my, of my dad's passing. And I was like, oh my God, this
Speaker: the heat feels the same. The weather feels the same. And the, you know, just all of the different things. And I was like, wow, July, you know, he passed July 26th, but I was like this. And that was a Monday. And I said to myself, well, Sunday is the Monday of 2021. And it was like, okay, you, you have to be okay. But there was a split second that I literally went to okay, well, I've got to get on a call this morning. I've got to, you know, put these things together and blah, blah, blah, blah. blah And I was like, okay, Leisha, you just sit and have your coffee and just be there.
Speaker: Just be there. So I have this um meditation playlist that I've created. And so I listened to that and that allows me to like kind of really start getting centered. And that's what I did. I was just like, okay, just be in it and cry. And it's okay. And it's just...
Speaker: You know, and I think too, the the grieving and healing even those that we that are still living, whether it be a relationship or, you know, grieving that version of myself, you know, the the younger mother, the single mother grieving, you know, oh you know, a lot of people think when you go through divorce, it's because it's failed. No, it doesn't mean it's failed. doesn't mean you failed.
Speaker: But there are elements that we grieve this life that we thought we were supposed to have. Right. And so, but if we don't address it, if we don't sit in those moments, then you don't heal. You can't move forward. Right. And, you know, the other day I was like, oh, just feeling grief in so many ways. And I did, I put on Netflix and was just like, I get to sit here, you know, with my chips and my cheese so what we're gonna do yeah you know, and so I actually, though, ice cream, I've been heavy on the sorbet. So that's been great, too. You know, and it's like and there's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker: It's like allow yourself to indulge in some of those things that because we're constantly to I think as women, we're like, oh, I'm so busy. I'm doing this and that. Well, sit down. yeah sit down. that And and so its like and it's okay I, the other day, you know, my daughter had been home for two months and I was like, I don't want to cook dinner.
Speaker: She's, you know, she's not home now. i don't have to cook dinner. feel like I have to do anything. And I was like, well, where are we going I'm like, you're having a bowl of cereal. And I don't know if it's because it's getting closer to this time of my dad's passing, but my dad liked Raisin Bran and he loved oatmeal. And I'm like, Laisha has been to the store twice and bought two boxes of Raisin Bran.
Speaker: And so... It feels good to me, right? It's like, it feels good. and And I think that's allowing that grief to have a home, but have a home that still feels like you're you're honoring yourself. And, um you know, i think there's something that has been said. It's like, to grieve is you know, when you grieve, you know that you've loved.
Speaker: And, you know, and I do. I feel like you know you've loved deeply, you know? and Yeah. I think it's getting, it's reconciling with grief to know that our ability to love is so great and it's so beautiful.
Speaker: And when we go through grief, that's how we know, you know? And so letting that be that reminder, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It's one of the most universal, powerful languages that what are they? Love and grief. yeah are both very powerful and every, you know, everybody grieves at some point. And to do powerful I think if you don't, if you don't address it, it shows up in so many ways that are so not great. And i have friends who have gone through and they just haven't dealt with it. And that's no shade on them because we all, we all go through things in our own time, but
Speaker: it does show up in our personal relationships, right? We can, like I said, when we're mad, we can be mean people. And I've seen it, I've done it, I've had it done to me. And sometimes it's like, you don't even know what's happening.
Speaker: And then when you start getting to the root it, it's like, oh, that's that unprocessed trauma. That's that, you know, and unprocessed grief that you've dealt with. And so um I'm no expert, but I definitely have lived enough life to have has experienced enough grief.
Speaker: um to To really, yeah, feel like I can i can say that. Yeah, absolutely. Well, what is your biggest piece of advice for Grit City Women?
Speaker: That's a good question. oh my gosh, I guess I should write a book on that too. Oh, my biggest piece of advice is to trust yourself.
Speaker: I think, listen to the whispers. Mm-hmm. Listen to the whispers. And it's not the whispers of negativity. It's not the whispers of no.
Speaker: It's the whispers of this doesn't feel right, so I'm going to choose myself. This feels like I should go in this direction, even though it's scary.
Speaker: This feels like I might be alone and feel sad for a moment, but I will be better off because I'm honoring myself. Mm-hmm. And that's where the real grit lives.
Speaker: That wasn't scripted at all, but that's really where it is. No. Yeah. I mean, that's literally one of these, again, quotes. um Don't betray yourself. Do it scared. Yeah. I have this on my, I have that on my desk. It's actually this post-it here in my office. And I mean, it's a little beat up too, but this is, it's taped to my desk and it's don't betray yourself. Do it scared. That's, Yeah.
Speaker: So that is like, yeah, great piece of advice. And um i totally agree. I think we don't trust ourselves enough. We don't trust our feelings enough. We don't trust our instincts enough. yeah Thank you so much for sharing your story and your expertise. And yeah, well, thank you for having me.
Speaker: I mean, was pleasure.
Speaker: Born from the spirit of Grit City Women, Gritty is the New Pretty carries the torch, amplifying the voices, stories, and power of women who lead with resilience, purpose, and unapologetic grit.
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