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Learning the SlopCurve
67 Plays1 year ago
On our first episode we’re figuring out what this show is about and what’s going on. Please bear with us while we figure it out and we hope you enjoy it.
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FilmSlop: https://linktr.ee/filmslop
PodSlop: https://x.com/pod_slop
Your Hosts,
Ali: https://x.com/alialialoalialo
Sivi: https://x.com/ali_sivi
Produced by Dusty: https://x.com/Dusty_Daddy_
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Transcript
Introduction and Initial Banter
00:00:00
Speaker
Real quick, this is Dusty here, producer of the Pod Slop podcast. I just wanted to give you a heads up on to why ah this first episode might sound a little cut up and a little weird. um We we re-recorded this intro episode a couple of times and we kind of went back in and re-edited it. And there are moments where we talk about different takes. And so I just want to give you a heads up. Anyway, let's get into the podcast.
00:00:31
Speaker
Let's go. What? Sing! Sing the song! What's- We don't have background music. I'm tired. We need you to sing. Oh my god. Listen to the pod slop in the backseat. Hell yeah. That's all I'm giving you. That's all you're giving, pod slop. We've given you- Addison Rae's gonna sue me if I sing more than two seconds of that song.
00:00:53
Speaker
Okay. Well, we at Pod Slap here do not have music. We're a poverty podcast. We need music. um So until then, you're going to have to listen to Sivi sing. And I don't want to listen to Sivi sing. You don't want to listen to Sivi sing. No, somebody please. I don't want to sing. So make us music, please.
00:01:11
Speaker
We're begging. We're we're asking. this is This is one of these things we need.
What is Pod Slop?
00:01:15
Speaker
Anyways, welcome to Pod Slop. Pod Slop is a podcast brought to you by Film Slop. Film Slop is a website. And on this website, we review movies. And who made the website? It was born like the little alien baby from Alien Romulus. It just kind of came out. Film Slop is a... Listen, this is my passion project, and I'm trying to talk about it with pure of heart. um Okay. Go now.
00:01:40
Speaker
Welcome to Pod Slop. Pod Slop is a podcast brought to you from Film Slop. We started Film Slop around a year ago. The goal of Film Slop is really to bridge personal narratives and film critiques together. We started Film Slop because some of the most meaningful conversations that we've ever had about films are never about the cinematography or the technical details. so They're usually with our friends who finally felt seen within a movie. or the family member who understands themselves better through a character's journey, or those one-off conversations when you find out someone has a shared favorite movie and you bond over your life stories and shared experiences. Movies are always magic like that. They give us the way to express ourselves in so many ways that we can't really vocalize. When we see ourselves within someone else's story, imposed in someone else's narrative, we understand a lot more about ourselves. And that's really what Film Slap is.
00:02:30
Speaker
Ali, thank you for that stunning description of Film Slop and that absolutely effervescent description of Pod Slop.
How are Movies Ranked?
00:02:38
Speaker
Let's get into how Pod Slop is actually gonna work because guess what? We have a graph. We have a curve. We have a shape. Before we do that, can I say one thing? Yes.
00:02:49
Speaker
I know in the previous takes I made fart noises and I promised I wasn't going to do a fart noise, but after you said effervescent, it was really hard for me not to make a fart noise. And I really want to make a fart noise right now because that was ridiculous. Like you're doing flips on it. You're doing some crazy tricks on it. I appreciate the kindness and the solidarity, but this is not a safe space like that. Okay, let's get into it.
00:03:08
Speaker
Let's get into the curve. Yeah, we we made with no help from me. We made a graphic. We made a chart. We made something with an X and a Y axis that it took me far too long to understand at my big age of 25. This chart is how we're gonna rank movies. We got the X axis, which is what? I don't have the document pulled up anymore, and I'm sitting with my feet up, so it's really hard for me to keep this going. So if anyone wants to say what it is. I'm tapping it, I'm tapping it. Thank you. So it's one through six, it's kind of like a bell curve, parabola shape. So at the top on the left side, there's a one. So one, tell me about a one. So a one on the slop curve. Picture a bell curve. Hold that in your head, hold space for that.
00:03:55
Speaker
This is a masterpiece. This is Portrait of a Lady on Fire. This is Parasite. This, to me, is Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer. This is pop star never stop, never stopping. This is just very refined. It is objectively good. Some of these are Oscar bait. Others are comedies that we just think really land.
00:04:15
Speaker
perfectly. It's a great movie. I think one of the things that we got to know about a one is if it does what it's trying to do, it doesn't have to be like an award winner. If it's a movie that's really trying to be a comedy or just trying to be a good time and it succeeds in that, then it can be a one. Exactly. I think Thelma is a one. Thelma is a great movie. We love that old lady. Great movie. A two is famously the number that comes after one if you're counting by single digits.
00:04:43
Speaker
This is the most locked in I've seen anyone in my entire life. These films are good, but maybe a little off a little weird. I think they are defined by being a little less rewatchable than a one. So these are still things we love. I think of but when I think of this, we can believe that.
00:05:05
Speaker
um This to me is Inland Empire. I think Inland Empire is a perfect two because you watch it and you're like, what the fuck? And then Laura Dern scares the shit out of you. And you're like, yeah, that was actually really good somehow. um I think David Lynch is like the king of twos. He's got these really great movies on paper that I'm like, these are amazing, but I have no interest in ever watching them again.
00:05:30
Speaker
Yes, I think there is a rewatchability, but you need more time in between the rewatches, perhaps.
Exploring Movie Categories
00:05:38
Speaker
Maybe that is a defining characteristic of a two. We're really working it out as we go. You know, we'll we'll figure out more about each category as we start. This is a really, really rough draft. So in each sort of passing episode, yes it's gonna become more tangible. And and we're gonna make a, somehow we're gonna make a visual with every movie on the curve.
00:06:01
Speaker
Like we're plotting, we're plotting the movie. Once you make the curve, I'll plot the movies. I'm being signed up for this. I'm taking a sip of water. Sorry. Okay. A three. A three. Okay. I was waiting. I wanted to know what number came after two. I was really, really holding, holding my holding onto to the edge of my seat.
00:06:21
Speaker
Many people say it's three. um ah Three is, it's a studio film, good performances, like solid, it's a solid piece of work, but it's maybe not our favorite. So Green Book, The Whale, ah three billboards outside of Ebbing, Missouri, even though I think I watched that,
00:06:41
Speaker
When I had a fever and I liked it so I'm putting three billboards in the two section I don't think I don't remember to put to put three billboards with like the whale and Elvis and whatever else is in the three Elvis is kind of a classic three.
00:06:59
Speaker
i think listen i spoke out of turn on three billboards i do need to revisit it i have seen many people classify it with green book with the whale so i think for some that would be a three for others it would be a two the curve the slob curve is subjective that's what makes it beautiful and we will fight we will argue we will we will have falling outs just devastating falling outs about films such as the will um moving on a four this is the height of the curve keep hold this in your mind think about it think about it this is the worst and movie can before this is the absolute worst it gets this pisses us off this is
00:07:43
Speaker
In existence only to make money, it is IP Slop. We're thinking, sorry, Deadpool. We're thinking it ends with us. We're thinking really any Marvel, I would say. Superhero Slop is pretty up there. Also, who are you apologizing to before you say sorry, Deadpool? Is this the target audience we're going for? Listen. No offense to the Deadpool watchers, but like um'm um we don't have to apologize. we're not This is not a safe space for anybody.
00:08:12
Speaker
Sorry, I've been conditioned. What I just said, do you don't have to apologize. Apologize for my existence in society. Stop apologizing. Okay, sorry. Okay, a A five. This is, we're coming down the curve, right? We're now more in line with the twos that we said were very good. They're very good films. We also think fives are very good films. They're slop, we would say. We would categorize them more as slop than the maybe objectively good films that are in the one and two range. Um, but these are films that we love despite their sloppiness. So maybe the fast and the furious, uh, possibly magic Mike for Ali. This is the minions. Well, the minions are edging on six territory for me. Well, that's quite a shift. Oh, minions are what now they're edging. Oh my God. All at the same time. Um, some of them, some of them watch in the corner.
00:09:14
Speaker
That's fucked up. Where's Groot? You're now going to police what the minions can do and don't want to do? I think it's fucked up that you're like airing their shit out like that. They like it. They like why i'm being watched. Also, we're definitely not airing this. See, I think we should. I think this is the stuff that needs to be done. This is the stuff that gets like our... Hugging along. I'm being silenced. Everybody. I have news. I have huge news. The number after five, it's six.
00:09:44
Speaker
Is it? Are you sure? Yeah, this is pure slop. So I guess to you this is minions. I don't think minions necessarily falls into this category. I think to love and appreciate minions is pretty five behavior. That's a very five relationship to have with the film. I think it's about the way I love my minions. It's not it's not that I love them, it's I love them in a way that's like I'm going to war for these little yellow freaks.
00:10:09
Speaker
And I respect that. Thank you. Six Slop to Us is kind of like low production value sometimes. I don't think that's a defining characteristic, but I'm thinking goat story. I'm thinking ratatoeing. These are films that are so nonsensical and so objectively slop, but they still hold a really special place in our hearts. Yeah.
Unique Low-Budget Films
00:10:36
Speaker
I agree. I feel like you have to give a little bit of color as to what goat story and ratatoeing are because I don't think and normal people. For those who don't know, goat story and ratatoeing are basically very low budget ripoffs. Did someone in a different country make these? is it like a What is it? A production company from somewhere else?
00:10:59
Speaker
Yeah, so I think gratitude is like a Brazilian studio that once the once the Pixar trailers release they make rip-off animations in what they think the story is. Yes. And then ghost stories just like Eastern European.
00:11:14
Speaker
Goat Story is just, if you haven't seen it, it's available on YouTube. um I would highly recommend ah seeing it. Ali, I feel like we could actually do a pretty good episode on Goat Story because it was kind of like one of our first bonding experiences. I agree. I think we should just watch it frame by frame and just... Yeah. There's a really wonderfully...
00:11:36
Speaker
weird, and oddly animated woman with blonde pigtails and huge boobs in a red dress. And you've probably seen that photo online, to be honest. If you're listening to this podcast right now, and you know who I am at all, you there's a good chance you've come across this animated woman with huge boobs. But um it's just really, it's so odd that that it's special and I love it. Would you, but hey okay, would you stick with me? Would you go so far as to call goat story lynchian?
00:12:17
Speaker
I don't think so. I think David Lynch is a lovely man and if he heard this, he would probably kill me and I don't want to risk the wrath of David Lynch himself.
00:12:29
Speaker
um I know a lot of people throw around Lynchian left and right, but I feel like to describe Ghost Story as Lynchian is like- The wicked press tour is Lynchian, and I've really doubled down on this. That's right. I mean, the whole whatever that video is, it's ruined. That's Lynchian. It's ruined my life. Yes. Somebody saw my tweet and edited Laura Palmer's theme onto it, and it felt right. so I don't feel like that is slander of David Lynch's catalog. Is Hawk2O Lynchian?
00:12:57
Speaker
Sorry, I'm eating an orange. I know one of the main rules of podcasting is that you shouldn't eat while you do it. I think we've broken a lot of rules. We're doing great. I'm lawless. Whoa, scary. What was the question? Is Hawk Tua her podcast, Talk Tua, whatever it is. she is I sort regard her in the same way that I regard the Eraserhead baby. the They create the same feeling inside of me.
00:13:25
Speaker
I think I'd rather spend a day with the Eraserhead baby. Oh, yeah. No question. No disrespect to Hawk Tua. She seems like a lovely person. Do you think if Hawk Tua and Pookie had a baby, it would look like the Eraserhead baby? I think it would. You know that like one really fat giant baby that was on Twitter a bunch? The fat Chinese baby?
00:13:43
Speaker
No, not the fat Chinese baby. It's just a gigantic white baby in a diaper. He's massive. The Rizzler? No, not the Rizzler. He's actually a baby in a diaper. I need you to Google right now as we're speaking. Google Big Fat Giant Baby Twitter. I'm doing this right now so I can see the results. Make sure I'm... No. Oh, yeah. It's the first one.
00:14:08
Speaker
there and if you go to images there's a there's an article says this giant baby wants you to be nicer online the mother wants you to be nicer he is what he is three-year-old Gavin was born he was fairly average size but since then the toddler has grown a lot oh I must feed okay I do know this baby yeah how old was this child when this photo was taken he was three OK, I feel like that's actually like a pretty normal size for a three year old, is it not? No, that baby is gigantic. He's like a truck. Do you think a baby but like my mom used to nanny a four year old and she was like. A normal child size. This is this is a three year old that's eating up their three year olds. Do you think you could take this three year old in a fight? When? How many how many how many three old gigantic children could you take in a fight right now? um Do they have good hand eye coordination?
00:15:07
Speaker
I have no idea. Then it's pretty much to be determined. ah sort of thoughtslo Find out next episode. Speaking of next episode. Speaking of next episode.
00:15:22
Speaker
We're going to talk about a movie. It's going to be a full. We're going to be a full episode. It's going to be about a movie. We're going to get into, like Ali said, our personal relationship with the film. Should we say what the film is? We should make them guess. We should give them hints, but not tell them what it is. Really keep them on their toes. That way they feel kind of hostage. We should make them hold space for the movie we're going to talk about. I'm going to kill you, Dustin.
00:15:53
Speaker
I think we should, I don't know, what hint would you give? I actually have no idea. Okay, we each give one sentence about it. I'll give mine, ready? Okay, okay. It features my favorite cinematic depiction of pissing. Wow,
Upcoming Movie Teasers
00:16:11
Speaker
that's good. like can like That could be anything, really. Yeah. How many movies are you watching where people piss on them? Dusty's pretty much working through the piss collection right now.
00:16:22
Speaker
Yeah, I got it. I got, you know, you know, those letterbox lists? I'm making a piss list. I don't like that, but I'm happy for you. Stay away from me at all times. Do you want to give a ah one sentence teaser? I've been stalling to try to come up with my one sentence teaser by being really mean to Dusty, which again, I'm very sorry, Dusty. I don't mean most of the things I say to you. yeah You said something about toes earlier in the text group chat. So like, you're a freak too, man.
00:16:51
Speaker
Do Minions have toes? I don't know. I don't think so. I think they just have like mittens on their feet or just like there. I'm not sure. I don't want to Google minion toes because I feel like that will add me in ah in a place on the Internet that I don't really feel comfortable with. um And I've already seen enough horrors for today. But when we when we sign a deal with a production company, that's the day that you have to Google minion toes.
00:17:20
Speaker
I truly pray that we never sign a deal with a production company. I don't think it's going to happen, so I'm not worried, but especially given that we're talking about Minian Toes on the first episode, but I'm just i'm genuinely scared of what man-made horrors lie. No one's doing it, I guess.
00:17:35
Speaker
Yeah. um What I will say about this movie is despite the lack of minion toes, it made me feel things that I had not felt in a really long time, which I know every movie makes me feel things that I haven't felt in a really long time. So that's a very nothing statement. But when I did see it, when it came out, I think it was very formative in how I've defined my relationships and life goals, which is probably a red flag when you know what the movie is. But no, I don't think so. OK, well, that's validating. I'll give a little bonus. A little bonus statement on pissing beyond pissing. OK, that's a really good actually alternative um title for the podcast. Beyond pissing BP.
00:18:25
Speaker
BP. Um, yes, the BP spill. It was just piss. Um, so my, uh, statement on the film is that it is a wonderful entry into the Civi. Oh shit. This movie talks about cancer cannon, which is a list of films that I love, uh, that I realize midway through feature cancer in a way that then ruins my experience watching them.
00:18:55
Speaker
Yay. That is amazing. Genuinely, genuinely amazing stuff. I know I sound like gleeful, but genuinely like. The tone that I want to communicate is that you are a very special person and I'm excited for the listeners of this podcast to see how cool and special you are through the movies that we talk about. And that's what Film Slop is about. It's about learning about your own stories and learning about other people through their relationships
Closing Remarks and Social Media
00:19:30
Speaker
with movies. And I think just really excited to unpack that. And chilling and being yourself. No, it's not about being yourself, especially if yourself sucks. Okay. You're a little dusty. Man, what the fuck? What did I do? No cussing on the podcast. Ever since I was a little girl, Dusty's grandma has told me that I need to just be myself. Dusty's grandma has told me many things.
00:19:53
Speaker
Neither of you will ever know my grandmother. OK, you can live in your. donration But your grandma knows me. She doesn't know me by my real name, but she knows me. What is she doing again? I don't think you do that. I don't think you need to know that. I i don't know if you're going to like that.
00:20:13
Speaker
Let's just say Dusty's grandma and the minions have a lot in common. Tow wise. No, I get banana. They're very endearing and... thatcy's grandma has jaunded occupy They're extremely endearing and occupy a lot of space in my heart. Does his grandma always know where to be found during historical atrocities?
00:20:35
Speaker
does this model
00:20:39
Speaker
oh Oh, well. Oh, well. Well, this is his grandma. Like many people out there, we'll be tuning in for the next episode. So stay tuned to figure out which movie ah has some good pissing and some bad cancer vibes, piss, cancer and emotions. What more can you want from a movie and John? No, this one doesn't have John. Oh, this one doesn't have John this. OK, got it. How about you? John does a dick in your mouth. A lot of people think this movie has John does, but actually it doesn't have John does.
00:21:11
Speaker
Do you know what movie does have Dondys though? The Simpsons movie? No, Gladiator 2. There's a monkey and his name is Dondys, and I think he's very cute. He's probably the the highlight of the movie. I'm probably not going to see that. I'm going to go see Wicked 5 more times. Okay. Listen, listen, I want to say on the record right now, I saw some tweets this weekend that really upset me because these people walked out of gladiator two and they were like, I did not expect that the best performance in this film would be Joseph Quinn. I didn't know he had it in him. And I'm like, OK, well, I actually told you guys and I actually I warned you all of that. And you all laughed at me and you brushed it off and you said, no, she doesn't know what she's talking about. She's just talking. No, I know an actor, capital A, when I see one and this little British man, I don't know why I said he seems at least five eleven.
00:22:01
Speaker
um He has it. He has it. He has that factor. I think Denzel and Joe are probably going to be the highlights of the film, and that's just something we all have to live with. Also, we've mentioned Fred Hackinger quite a few times in this episode. Also a star. I love him. Have we mentioned Fred Hackinger once? We've only mentioned Thelma. We've mentioned Thelma, and then we mentioned the gladiator.
00:22:22
Speaker
ah So, by proxy, we're talking about Fred Heckinger's world and how we're living in it and interacting with media in it. I am very excited for Nickel Boys. um Fred is- Is he in that? In Gladiator. Yeah, he is. No way. He's really, really good in Gladiator too. I think in order of performances, it's Denzel, then The Monkey, then Fred, then Joseph Quinn, n if we're if we're really getting to ranking. but hes Rank the other two. um Paul Mesko and who else is in that movie? Pedro. Pedro. Yeah, and and what's your face? Lucilla. That's awesome. I can't put the woman at the bottom of the list, but they're all doing pretty well. um I think my favorite thing about Fred Heckinger in Gladiator is that all his scenes are next to Joseph Quinn and he is 5'7", but Joseph Quinn is tall and Fred Heckinger looks like he is three feet tall in every single scene. and It's awesome.
00:23:18
Speaker
Well, I love both of them. They're both my clients alongside Harris Dickinson and Josh O'Connor. I keep a small group of men who I think um can win awards, and I solely but surely use the small amount of sway I have to push them and their projects toward awards. So that's what I'm focused on this Q4. That's a really great call. All this proves is that you should always listen to Bald and Doubt.
00:23:46
Speaker
Dusty, that's so true. Yeah. Just saying. Like, don't... Just saying. Yeah. That's real as F.
00:23:58
Speaker
I'm trying to swear less. OK, anyway, um subscribe, I guess. I don't know how you're going to be interacting with this piece of media, but ah subscribe if you want. Follow me on Twitter. Search ball down down. You'll find it. ah There's no one else like it. um Ali Dusty, you want to plug?
00:24:18
Speaker
Yeah, you should follow Foamslop on Twitter. f Yes. F-I-L-M-S-L-O-P. F-I-L-M-S-L-O-P. And Pod Slop. P-O-D-S-L-O-P. we will it It doesn't exist on as its own account yet, but it will right after this, because I just remembered that we got to do that. I was i was about to say, we we got one of those. Yeah, I don't think we got one of those. We have one of those in theory. in in In theory. Should we make a blueki blue sky? Let's make a blue sky.
00:24:44
Speaker
I don't I don't want to say blue sky because it sounds really happy. But blue ski also just sounds really stupid. I also I also think people should subscribe to ball down doubt on Twitch. I think that's that's true. I need to eat dinner, but I might play among oscillator. Well, I'm like seven years. If you want to join me, you're always welcome in my in my ship in your lobby. Yes.
00:25:12
Speaker
I'm going to redownload Among Us for you. Yes. Run it back. Run it back to third grade. I never uninstalled Among Us. I'm like that. that's That's awesome. Dusty, how old are you, man? I don't feel comfortable answering that question. You shouldn't. I don't like the way you framed that question. I don't like the way you asked it. I don't like that it was kind of hostile. um it were It was not kind of hostile. It was very hostile. Yeah. um You're my enemy now.
00:25:44
Speaker
so
00:26:07
Speaker
Okay. Yeah.