Transcript
Melanie Barlow: Have you ever stayed silent in a meeting, not because you had nothing to say, but because you weren't sure how it would be received? Welcome back to Reframing Conversations.
Dr H: Hi, I'm Dr. H and today we're going to be talking about communication 101, power, trust, safety, and shared responsibility. Part of the series of workplace conversations, the essentials.
Dr H: In this episode, we're going to explore the role of power in communication. We're going to explore how trust and safety shape every workplace conversation. And we're also going to talk about why communication success depends on both people taking responsibility for clarity.
Dr H: Dr. Mel?
Melanie Barlow: Thanks, Dr ha so communication isn't just about words. It's about relationships, influence, understanding and trust. So when we communicate, we have to have an awareness of the role power plays. And what do we mean by power?
Melanie Barlow: Power isn't just about the job title you have. Power comes from, yes, position or legitimate authority. It also comes though from expertise and experience, length of service, personality and confidence, access to information and relationships and influence.
Dr H: This makes me think about why power matters though in our conversations. You know, power really shapes who's speaking. Power carries, it's around whose voice carries more weight.
Dr H: Power also affects who's listening. Power matters because it's who feels comfortable raising concerns in the workplace. Power also shapes how those messages and that feedback is received, like we talked about in our last podcast.
Dr H: So this makes me think of a workplace example. You know, we might have a supervisor who says, I'd like that report finished today, or I'd like that report finished today.
Dr H: Even if it's an intended as as a request, the employee may hear it as a directive because of the supervisor's position of power. Mel, can you take me a little bit through what might have happened in some of your research?
Melanie Barlow: Yeah, thanks, Dr. H. This came up quite a bit in my research. One that I really remember was in the first paper where a nurse was sharing when they were spoken up to by someone more senior.
Melanie Barlow: They didn't agree with it at all. However, because the person was just purely through their perceptions more senior, they felt that they had to obey and they had to agree Unfortunately, by doing that, the person the nurse was actually right in her assessment. And by doing what she didn't agree with, the patient actually got physically harmed.
Melanie Barlow: They had a fall. So position, whether it's, you know, legitimate or perceived, has real power. The other thing that came out when I was debriefing after actual encounters what came out a lot was nurses don't describe doctors as speaking up.
Melanie Barlow: And so even when a doctor is speaking up, nurses don't interpret it that the doctor's speaking up. They interpret it as the doctor is giving an order. So this has considerable impacts, right? Not only for the doctor, because if they are speaking up, we're not having their back, we're not,
Melanie Barlow: saving them from harm and creating an error by just doing what they say as a directive. And to, yeah, it's a clear misinterpretation and misunderstanding of the communication goal, which can lead to error.
Melanie Barlow: and And we know from the literature directly leading to harm.
Melanie Barlow: So I guess what I want people to reflect on is people with more power often underestimate the impact of their words. People with less power may hesitate to challenge them or to seek clarification.
Melanie Barlow: We know from Amy Edmondson's literature that people in higher leadership positions find speaking up easier because they have that felt authority and that legitimate legitimate authority.
Melanie Barlow: So practical tips. Just ask yourself, regardless of your role, regardless of if you've got a title position or not, how might my my role influence this conversation or my experience level influence this conversation?
Melanie Barlow: Am I creating a space for honest feedback and conversation? Could I, you know, or could someone feel uncomfortable disagreeing with me?
Melanie Barlow: So the key message is around being aware of our potential power and the dynamics and how we're perceived helps us communicate with greater empathy, greater attention.
Melanie Barlow: And we last episode looked around and discuss the meeting, the needs of the other person in the conversation. So really think about people may perceive me as having seniority and hierarchy and authority, how can I communicate?
Melanie Barlow: to reduce that power dynamic.
Dr H: You're absolutely right. And i know in our previous podcast, we've gone through different elements of this. I really like the point about people with less power may hesitate to challenge or seek clarification.
Dr H: Because you know, really building trust and safety is everyone's responsibility in your team, within yourself. So I often think about what is trust.
Dr H: So in my perspective, I'm thinking trust is confidence that people are going to listen. People will act respectfully, professionally, and that using that psychological safety, that concerns can be raised without fear.
Dr H: i know we've talked about this before. Can you just remind us a little bit again, what is psychological safety?
Melanie Barlow: Yes, so psychological safety exists when people feel safe to take an interpersonal risk and that can be asking questions, sharing ideas, admitting mistakes, speaking up about risks or concerns.
Melanie Barlow: So a common misconception is that many people believe that leaders alone are responsible for creating trust and creating that environment of safety.
Melanie Barlow: when that's not quite the case.
Dr H: Well, that's right. And you know what, the reality is that everyone contributes to the level of trust and safety within a team. We have everyday behaviors in the workplace that builds trust and supports our communication skills.
Dr H: And one of the ways this starts with is listening without interrupting. So genuinely listening not to be right, but to understand.
Dr H: The reality that these things build to trust on is around following through on commitments, being honest, being respectful, and really seeking to understand before judging.
Dr H: And this one I found a lot in my teams as well, is acknowledging different perspectives between the sender and the receiver. Can you talk a little bit about everyday behaviors that erode trust?
Melanie Barlow: Yeah, I really like that one when you sit around following through on commitments, because for me, I've seen that in action. Someone espouses all this great stuff, you know, textbook stuff that's meant to build trust, yet their actions are completely incongruent.
Melanie Barlow: And so you're always on tender hooks wondering, you know, if what they said is what they're going to do and often it isn't. So that's one thing that absolutely erodes trust really, really quickly.
Melanie Barlow: dismissing Dismissing someone's concerns because that leads to often feeling of futility. You know, I spoke up before, nothing got done about it. Why would I bother speaking up again?
Melanie Barlow: or my concerns were dismissed, so I'm not taken seriously. Making assumptions about someone's intent and someone's behaviour.
Melanie Barlow: Blaming others, so not taking any accountability for your role in a particular situation. Talking over people, which aligns nicely with what you said around in listening without interrupting.
Melanie Barlow: and I guess responding defensively, which is around defending your position rather than listening to understand what is actually being trying to convey to you in that. So what are some ideas?
Dr H: Well, really the psychological safety is the the foundation here because when we feel safe to ask questions and share ideas, it does let us have a workplace conversation and a point of connection.
Dr H: So the successful conversation isn't just about getting your point across. It's about creating an environment where others feel comfortable contributing to that conversation.
Dr H: So I guess when I reflect on communication, what am I doing that makes it easier? Or what am I doing that makes it more difficult for others to speak openly with me or speak with others in their team?
Dr H: Can you tell me a little bit about some clarity, how that is a shared responsibility? with reframing conversations.
Melanie Barlow: Absolutely. So I think some traditional thinking is the sender is responsible for delivering the message. And I'd like to reframe that to be both the sender and receiver are responsible for achieving understanding within a conversation.
Melanie Barlow: The sender's responsibility is to be clear and specific. to provide context of what they want to talk about, to check understanding that the other person has understood and to encourage questions like, is there another perspective to be had here?
Melanie Barlow: What is it that I'm not seeing? The receiver also has key responsibilities. They need to listen actively. Listening is not a passive skill. They need to ask questions to seek clarification and they need to confirm that they've understood and decoded that message accurately.
Melanie Barlow: Do you think you could maybe give us a tangible example?
Dr H: Yeah, for sure. And so I really like how you're talking about the receiver's responsibility, being curious, listening actively, asking questions. So in terms of a workplace example that jumps to mind, instead of, I thought you meant next week, try, just so I'm clear, are you wanting this completed by Friday? Yeah.
Dr H: The kind of practical communication check here is that as a sender, I can check, you know, what am I taking away from this conversation? What does does this make sense? And creating that opportunity for maybe what sort of questions the other person might have.
Dr H: I'm wondering, Mel, in terms of receivers, are there any sort of questions that they can ask? Yes.
Melanie Barlow: yeah absolutely so something around like so can i just clarify something or when would you like this completed by can i repeat it back to you and make sure i've understood this right just really simple to check understanding so there's no misunderstanding and the next steps going forward so clarity is not achieved when a message is sent it's achieved when it's understood
Dr H: Terrific. So taking that on board with what you've just said, I'd like to bring it all back together. So I'm going to repeat back to you just to make sure that I've got it right.
Dr H: So great workplace conversations, judging by what we have talked about today. it does require an awareness of power, the power differential in the workplaces and the conversation as well.
Dr H: the sender and the receiver. Our great workplace conversations require shared responsibility for trust and safety. And it really requires shared responsibility for clarity.
Dr H: We almost have a formula here, Dr. Mel, which is awareness plus trust plus safety plus clarity. equals, guess what?
Dr H: Better conversations. So when people feel safe and clear about these expectations, what do we have? We have collaboration improves, misunderstandings reduce, and our workplace relationships strengthen and our communication strengthens.
Dr H: And of course, safety and performance improve. So thank you for sharing some of those concepts and repeating that back.
Dr H: Can you now give me some key takeaways as a bit of a closing summary to make sure we're all on the same page?
Melanie Barlow: Excellent. And feel free if if I've missed any key takeaways, please speak up and add. So for me, the key takeaways are power exists in everyday conversations.
Melanie Barlow: No matter what we do to try and flatten hierarchy, hierarchy in organizations exists. We need to acknowledge it. We need to account for it because it influences how messages are interpreted and received.
Melanie Barlow: Trust and psychological safety are built through everyday behaviours and require contribution from everyone at all levels. Communication clarity is the responsibility of both the sender and the receiver.
Melanie Barlow: And better conversations happen when we focus on understanding, not just for us being understood.
Melanie Barlow: Do you have a final reflection?
Dr H: yeah so as a final reflection i'm thinking the next time you're communicating ask yourself am i aware of the influence i have am i helping create trust and safety you know and have i done my part to ensure understanding i feel like we have a call to action here mel
Melanie Barlow: I like that final reflection. So I think if you want to work on this, choose one conversation and really intentionally consider the power dynamics in play.
Melanie Barlow: Try and see the other person's perspective. Create a space for open dialogue and check for understanding before moving on to the next topic or the next conversation.
Melanie Barlow: So continue to build your communication capability and to work through things that we've discussed today and in the previous episode. There is an e-learning workplace conversations, the essentials at reframingconversations.com where you can build on this. And there are some really practical skills are explored in real world workplace scenarios.
Melanie Barlow: So the website is www.reframingconversations.com. And if you like this podcast and would like to share it, you can do so through Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube and LinkedIn. And we really appreciate you listening and we look forward to chatting with you next time.
