Transcript
Speaker: Hello and welcome to Trust Don't Verify, the show where two of us are telling a story, but only one of us is telling the truth.
Speaker: I'm Aaron.
Speaker: Today I'm joined by Carter and Brett.
Speaker: Who do you?
Speaker: Who do you?
Speaker: And this week I am the judge.
Speaker: So I'll turn it over to either Carter or Brett to tell us what the theme of this week is.
Speaker: Which one of us is the jury and which one of us is the executioner?
Speaker: Great question.
Speaker: I wanted to ask that.
Speaker: Aaron?
Speaker: Well, I guess I am the judge.
Speaker: Carter is the jury, which makes Brett the executioner.
Speaker: I feel like he's too nice to kill anyone.
Speaker: Interestingly, aren't you the jury, though?
Speaker: Because you rule.
Speaker: Depends on what kind of case.
Speaker: True.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Well, you do rule, and so does Brett.
Speaker: Heck yeah.
Speaker: Rock on.
Speaker: Thanks, brother.
Speaker: So anyway, I guess then we'll kick it off.
Speaker: Thanks for the introduction.
Speaker: I don't have a preference on who goes first, except I think Brett should go first.
Speaker: I want to say hola to all of our Portuguese speaking listeners.
Speaker: So hola to our... Hello in Portuguese as well.
Speaker: I actually don't know.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yes, but it's spelled different.
Speaker: It's O-L-A.
Speaker: Oh, cool.
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: That's O-L-A.
Speaker: You're thinking of bullfighting.
Speaker: Okay, the A is pronounced A. A. Yes.
Speaker: Hello to all of our Portuguese-speaking listeners, and also maybe someone in New Zealand has listened a couple of times, is the data I'm getting, so worldwide, worldwide.
Speaker: As they say in New Zealand, hello.
Speaker: So this week's theme is food and food-adjacent food.
Speaker: establishments.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Great.
Speaker: Okay, here we go.
Speaker: I feel like a food adjacent establishment is like a 7-Eleven next to a pizza hut.
Speaker: It's like not a food establishment, it's just next to one.
Speaker: Hey, that's what he could be talking about.
Speaker: We don't know yet.
Speaker: That's true.
Speaker: We haven't gotten to Gardner's story yet.
Speaker: I could be spot on.
Speaker: I've got to write a new story.
Speaker: Damn it.
Speaker: Okay, here we go.
Speaker: I apologize in advance as always.
Speaker: Denied in advance as always.
Speaker: Thank you, Your Honor.
Speaker: Born in 1852, John Harvey Kellogg was a multi-hyphenate.
Speaker: A physician, author, sanitarium director, devout Seventh-day Adventist, pseudoscientist, and businessman.
Speaker: He was well known for his firm stance against the horizontal dance.
Speaker: LAUGHTER
Speaker: A fellow anti-sexer.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: Not by choice.
Speaker: His deep frown when asked to take the skin boat to Tuna Town.
Speaker: I see Brett's doing a poem again.
Speaker: This might be unhinged.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Deep frown.
Speaker: Boy, were they asking him.
Speaker: And his distaste for making paste.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: In fact, throughout every aspect of his life, you could find a central theme of anti-cream.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Here we go.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: This is my longest one that I've written.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I'm sorry whoever edits this.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That's Carter.
Speaker: As a physician and author of a variety of wellness books, Dr. Kellogg prescribed abstinence and the refraining from self-stimulation as a way to avoid STIs and medical complications.
Speaker: Reasonable.
Speaker: As a Christian and director of a Christian sanitarium, Brother Kellogg preached abstinence and refraining from self-stimulation as a way to avoid the fiery pits of hell.
Speaker: And I have here, thy kingdom not come.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: John Kellogg was a married man with eight children, yet in my extensive research on the subject, I wasn't able to find a single piece of evidence that suggested Kellogg ever parked that big Mack truck right in that little garage as he and his wife Ella maintained separate beds and all of their children were adopted.
Speaker: There was even less evidence that Mr. Kellogg ever celebrated Palm Sunday.
Speaker: For those who can't see, of course, Brett pantomimed male masturbating.
Speaker: And then I have here, he is not risen.
Speaker: I love that you say, and I have here, as if someone else prepared these notes for you, and you're being required to read them.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: Kellogg and the Adventists believe that a diet rich in flavors would cause one to become sexually aroused.
Speaker: So it was recommended that one follow a bland diet to decrease or eliminate the sexual thoughts and urges.
Speaker: And thank God for that because with the invention of Fig Newtons, Cracker Jacks, and Quaker Oats, the late 1800s were a godless hedonistic fuckfest.
Speaker: Nothing like plain oats.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: As a pseudoscientist, Kellogg was forever in search of new ways to cure and prevent your average Jack and Jill from jacking and jilling off, even going as far to suggest in his 1877 book, Plain Facts for Old and Young, that anyone suffering from chronic self-harm, quote,
Speaker: have their genitals removed without the use of anesthetic, end quote.
Speaker: That's true.
Speaker: There's a link to the actual book, and I did read some of this.
Speaker: Sounds great.
Speaker: Good stuff.
Speaker: He was probably cool to hang out with, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He seems like he was probably a pretty chill guy.
Speaker: Just one year after the publication of this anti-masturbation declaration, he was invited by the Adventists to oversee their Battle Creek Sanitarium.
Speaker: And it was here that over the course of the next two decades, he invested large amounts of time and money into his research.
Speaker: Battle Creek was renowned for the wide variety of self-care services it offered, but it was the self-harm prevention services that Kellogg was most interested in.
Speaker: After coming up with half a dozen pseudo treatments for those men who couldn't stop shaking hands with the milkman and those women who couldn't stop ringing the devil's doorbell, Kellogg became the Willy Wonka of anti-wanking willies.
Speaker: The Wizard of Oz of not reaching into your drawers.
Speaker: Fuck.
Speaker: Fuck.
Speaker: This is so bad.
Speaker: I didn't read this before.
Speaker: This is so bad.
Speaker: God, I'm sweating.
Speaker: I'm sweating.
Speaker: The treatments included genital electrotherapy and enemas via the urethra, which sadly only brought temporary relief.
Speaker: Define relief.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They stopped cranking it.
Speaker: I bet they did.
Speaker: But only temporarily.
Speaker: Yeah, you can't keep a good man down.
Speaker: They were not treatments that could be administered easily at home and also... Says you.
Speaker: I got a car battery in the garage just for that.
Speaker: Genital electrocution and urethra enemas cannot be easily administered at home?
Speaker: Turkey baster and a car battery.
Speaker: Problem solved.
Speaker: It was also worth noting that the sanitarium was a bit on the pricier side and catered to higher end clientele, including Amelia Earhart, Henry Ford, and JCPenney.
Speaker: That's a person?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, real person.
Speaker: Kellogg himself came from humble beginnings and always had a soft spot for the less fortunate, offering pro bono, anti boner house calls as a physician.
Speaker: So he would go to people's houses and dispose of their boners?
Speaker: When he put that ad in the paper, people really thought they were going to get something different.
Speaker: It's the world's oldest profession.
Speaker: He and his wife also ran a foster home, which led to their adopted children.
Speaker: I think they had 45 or so children in their home at one point.
Speaker: So he was determined to develop a more accessible pseudo-treatment that even the poorest masturbator could benefit from.
Speaker: He doubled down on his efforts and even brought in his wife, Ella, and brother, Will, to run a new concept at Battle Creek, the Test Kitchen.
Speaker: He tasked the two of them with creating an affordable food or beverage that could be marketed to the masses, yet had a bland enough taste that it would decrease urges to self-stimulate or self-harm.
Speaker: But the first year of the Test Kitchen didn't yield much and was frankly unimaginative.
Speaker: One of the early failures included mixing raw eggs with cow's milk, um...
Speaker: Yeah, that sounds delicious.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Very stimulating.
Speaker: And I have here, people drank it, but still cranked it.
Speaker: Brilliant.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Dissatisfied with the first year's results, Kellogg took a much more hands-on approach and spent nearly all of his time in the test kitchen.
Speaker: And after a very long day, seemingly making no progress, he and the team accidentally left out a batch of wheat berry dough.
Speaker: Instead of throwing away the dough when they returned the next morning, they rolled it and found that the dough broke apart into small, bakeable flakes.
Speaker: After a few tweaks and iterations, they cranked out their cure for cranking off... cornflakes.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: His brother, Will Kellogg, wanted to offer it as a sort of on-the-go crunchy snack, but John, ever the more conservative of the two, pushed back and suggested that the hard texture and crunch of the cornflakes could elicit sexual arousal.
Speaker: So he wanted to serve it soft in a bowl of water.
Speaker: His wife, Ella, feared that the combination would be too bland and would turn away the people they were trying to turn off.
Speaker: So she countered with milk and
Speaker: which I kind of thought would have like some residual hormones in it that could stimulate someone.
Speaker: Maybe not from the time period.
Speaker: Fair.
Speaker: That's fair.
Speaker: That's fair.
Speaker: Of course, the water would have been full of lead.
Speaker: Also not good.
Speaker: Nothing stimulates me more.
Speaker: Lead.
Speaker: They began a trial run using 25 Battle Creek staff members as test subjects.
Speaker: Dr. Kellogg instructed them to eat one bowl of cornflakes a day every day for three months with evaluations scheduled once a week.
Speaker: At the end of the study, Dr. Kellogg found that 35%, roughly, of the test subjects reported feeling less sexually aroused with notable changes occurring at about the two-month mark, which the math shakes out to about nine people out of the 25.
Speaker: And that was the only evidence of the clinical trials that I could find.
Speaker: He filed a patent for the serial in 1897, claiming that it was a, quote, food product particularly well adapted for the treatment of chronic self-stimulation and persons and sickly persons with nymphomania.
Speaker: And I actually didn't write down the other word here.
Speaker: The male version of nymphomania.
Speaker: I didn't know there was a different word.
Speaker: I didn't know there was a delineation.
Speaker: Yeah, there was a different word.
Speaker: I can't, I can't, I don't have it written down, but, but yeah, for, for those, he continued to propagate those claims in his 1899 book, Treatment for Self-Abuse and Its Effects, and touted the effectiveness of the serial at medical conferences throughout the country.
Speaker: But it was the July 21st, 1900 edition of Life magazine that brought Kellogg's toasted cornflakes into millions of homes nationwide.
Speaker: That particular issue contained a full-page advertisement and mail-in order form for the cereal.
Speaker: The advertisement featured a mother beaming at her two children sitting at the dining room table with bowls of cornflakes in front of them.
Speaker: The accompanying write-up said, "'The Kellogg's Company understands the concerns of discerning parents.'"
Speaker: That is why we proudly present Kellogg's Toasted Corn Flakes, the breakfast cereal that helps prevent self-stimulation and act harmful to body and spirit.
Speaker: And then I just pulled out different, because it's relatively long, so I just kind of pulled out a couple different parts.
Speaker: Also, Kellogg's Toasted Corn Flakes are free from stimulating ingredients that might trigger unhealthy desires.
Speaker: They also listed it as a parent's trusted ally.
Speaker: They say, in this age of rapid change, Kellogg's Toasted Corn Flakes acts as your faithful ally in instilling moral values in your children.
Speaker: It nurtures the habits of self-discipline, fortifying them against the allure of self-stimulation.
Speaker: Corn Flakes, your path to purity and health.
Speaker: The Kellogg Company saw a 40% increase in sales by the end of that year and began producing about 120,000 cases of the cereal daily by 1905.
Speaker: The purity and health ad campaign ran for about a full decade before a legal dispute between the two brothers over Will's involvement in the invention of the cereal led John to eventually relinquish control of the Kellogg's company to his less conservative brother, Will.
Speaker: But the fact remains that the impetus for the creation of Corn Flakes was impotence.
Speaker: And I got to tell you, I got a box of Corn Flakes and it works.
Speaker: I don't crank off no more.
Speaker: I am delivered.
Speaker: I don't like mans no more.
Speaker: I am delivered.
Speaker: I will not crank my hog.
Speaker: Did you see the follow-up video from him?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: It's so funny.
Speaker: I watched a few.
Speaker: I'm like, God, at first I felt bad.
Speaker: I felt like maybe he was being forced to, you know, like one of those, he gets sent away to that awful gay conversion or something like that.
Speaker: Right away, gay, electro-gay shock therapy.
Speaker: It's like not.
Speaker: It just seems like such bullshit.
Speaker: I don't get it.
Speaker: He's just like, I had sex with a woman and it was good.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I don't like men's no more.
Speaker: I am delivered.
Speaker: I'm not gay no more.
Speaker: Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent, but that reference was perfect.
Speaker: Thank you for that.
Speaker: That was hilarious, and I feel terrible for having Brett go first because I should know my fucking lesson by now that Brett always has the best stories, and now I have to follow that.
Speaker: So if we're in the stadium right now and I'm the closing act, it's probably about half capacity.
Speaker: Everyone came to see Brett, and then they funneled out.
Speaker: It's like when I went to go see Panic!
Speaker: at the Disco in Weezer.
Speaker: yeah and panic plate first yes yep yep yeah and then all the uh everybody like a lot of the teenagers to early 20s left and then a bunch of 40 year olds who smelled like weed came in okay so my people time for you to come on in yes yeah um so i guess i'll take a break real quick and come back and then i'll give my tale
Speaker: And we're back.
Speaker: So I'm just going to go ahead and dive right into it unless there's any objections from all the litigious people here since we're a courtroom this time.
Speaker: I'll allow it, but watch yourself, counselor.
Speaker: And that's the executioner speaking.
Speaker: He's going to kill the jury.
Speaker: Whether you're thinking back on your formative years as an outgoing bachelor or bachelorette, or you're listening to this now as a young man or woman in the prime of your life at this very moment, I'm sure you can remember enjoying long and adventurous weekends filled with deep laughs, good company, and bottomless drinks.
Speaker: And I'm also sure you can picture in your head your favorite go-to establishments for that type of fun.
Speaker: We all know the heavy hitters, right?
Speaker: No, not the clubs, not the bars, the places you really go to meet people.
Speaker: Of course, you think I mean somewhere sexy, like Applebee's or Chili's.
Speaker: But I'm here to tell you, you are dead wrong.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: You see, the original spot to make moves and meet singles is none other than TGI Fridays.
Speaker: Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker: Sit down and grab yourself a marg, because we're about to get sloppy, bitch.
Speaker: right?
Speaker: This sucks.
Speaker: Let's go bitches.
Speaker: While thought of today as a middling fast casual establishment that punches somewhere between bland and if beige were a flavor, excuse you, believe it or not, TGI Fridays was originally conceptualized and created by founder Alan Stillman as a means to meet women.
Speaker: This is so funny for me because my wife's mom used to be a server at DJI Fridays.
Speaker: Is that how she met her husband?
Speaker: I couldn't tell you.
Speaker: Maybe so.
Speaker: Stillman lived in a building in New York City that was filled to the brim with mostly single stewardesses, as well as a healthy mix of secretaries and fashion models.
Speaker: He hoped that opening a new type of bar would help him meet women because at the time there was not really a place for women to go to drink other than private cocktail parties.
Speaker: He slips into a building full of them.
Speaker: He's like, damn, if I could find them somewhere else.
Speaker: I got no game in this building.
Speaker: Carter, if you had a Corvette, man, this could be you.
Speaker: You got to get rid of that.
Speaker: You got to get rid of that SUV.
Speaker: Still been claimed, there was still been claimed, quote, there was no public place for people between, say, 23 to 37 years old to meet.
Speaker: End quote.
Speaker: So he endeavored to make a cocktail party atmosphere, but in public, despite having no restaurant business experience at all.
Speaker: And he came up with TGI Friday cocktail party.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Refined, yet sexy.
Speaker: It gets better.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: With $5,000 in his own money and another $5,000 borrowed from his mother, he purchased his favorite local bar and turned it into the first TGI Fridays location.
Speaker: Which is hilarious because he purchased the bar that was his favorite to go to.
Speaker: It was like, all right, I'm making a bar.
Speaker: The employees were all young men described as, quote, handsome jocks, and they wore form-fitting red and white striped soccer shirts to match the classic Friday's decor.
Speaker: with the same pattern and color scheme.
Speaker: Against all odds, Stillman succeeded, and it is widely accepted that he accidentally created one of the first singles bars with the launch in 1965.
Speaker: The popularity of this new singles bar is believed to have directly benefited from the recently made available to the public birth control pill, as well as the release of the freedom feminist classic, The Feminine Mystique.
Speaker: Of course, this is coupled with the rapid changes in social norms of the 1960s.
Speaker: Stillman struck gold all because he wanted a place to meet women, and he couldn't figure out how to approach them unless there was alcohol involved.
Speaker: He once again was quoted gloating over his accomplishments.
Speaker: Quote, I don't think there was anything else like it at the time.
Speaker: Before TGI Fridays, four single 25-year-old girls were not going out on Friday nights in public with each other to have a good time.
Speaker: They went to people's apartments for cocktail parties, or they might go to a real restaurant for a date or for somebody's birthday.
Speaker: But they weren't going out with each other to a bar for casual dinner and drinks.
Speaker: There was no such place for them to go.
Speaker: Can I ask you, what is it like a cocktail party?
Speaker: I have no fucking clue.
Speaker: Apparently, TGI Fridays must have eliminated any need for that.
Speaker: Okay, yeah.
Speaker: I've never been invited to one, but I don't have a Corvette.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: For whatever reason, the good times kept rolling for this creep, as TGI Fridays is also one of, if not the first establishment to use the now staple promotion of Ladies Night.
Speaker: It's safe to say Stillman achieved his dreams of meeting women.
Speaker: He gushed over the fact in an interview he did with National Magazine years later, quote, Have you seen the movie Cocktail?
Speaker: Tom Cruise played me.
Speaker: Why do girls want to date the bartender?
Speaker: To this day, I'm not sure that I get it.
Speaker: Can I rewind to something really quick?
Speaker: I just thought of something.
Speaker: This guy got a $5,000 loan from his mom to get laid.
Speaker: To meet women.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Believe it or not, at one point, it's smart.
Speaker: It's just good business.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: That's good business.
Speaker: Did you see Tom Cruise played him?
Speaker: I still don't get it.
Speaker: Somehow my plan worked.
Speaker: Believe it or not, at one point, TGI Fridays became so popular at its first location, it had to install ropes and create an area for those waiting in line.
Speaker: Stillman joined forces with a fellow friend and graduate from the same university and went on to create several other restaurants, including Tuesdays, Thursdays, Wednesdays, and ice cream Sundays.
Speaker: That's just fun.
Speaker: That's just fun.
Speaker: That's just good clean feeling.
Speaker: All days of the week you can meet hot singles in your area.
Speaker: Anybody could appreciate that.
Speaker: That's good.
Speaker: Except Mondays, apparently.
Speaker: While the lack of ingenuity displayed in his subsequent restaurant creations paints the picture of a man who by all means should have failed, it's hard to call Stillman a failure with what he was able to achieve with the launch and staying power of TGI Fridays.
Speaker: While it no longer is seen as a trailblazing bar filled to the brim with eligible singles, it has endured and been relatively prosperous for many decades with no signs of throwing in the towel yet.
Speaker: This unexpected journey goes to show that sometimes you truly have no need to overthink or overcomplicate your dreams and ambitions.
Speaker: Stillman is proof you can run full steam ahead with even the slightest inkling of an idea and sometimes...
Speaker: Somehow, he'll succeed.
Speaker: Very well done.
Speaker: You should have finished it with nothing but a dream, a boner, and $5,000 of his mom's money.
Speaker: It's like the tagline for the movie.
Speaker: Kellogg would have hated this guy.
Speaker: Sorry, go ahead.
Speaker: The opposite of Kellogg.
Speaker: So it's like sex-themed food is the theme of this episode.
Speaker: You're right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yep, yep, yep.
Speaker: I want to get that clean, so maybe you can put that in at the beginning.
Speaker: This week's theme is sex-themed food.
Speaker: um okay that was great um both of those were fantastic stories uh i do have an opinion i'm gonna shoot from the hip a little bit here i'm not gonna overthink it i need to stop you right there first brett please turn off your camera i know aaron likes to keep it aaron likes to play it straight but you know we'll get him a straight i'm a straight shooter good point oh carter's got the little logo on his you see that yeah
Speaker: Brett's just covering the camera with his hand.
Speaker: I've got like a slide cover there.
Speaker: Oh, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker: All right, so like I said, I like to shoot from the hip.
Speaker: I don't like to ponder too much.
Speaker: I feel my instincts, period.
Speaker: He feels that.
Speaker: I am going to say Carter was telling the truth.
Speaker: Tell us why.
Speaker: I've been to a TGI Fridays.
Speaker: It is sexy.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: True, true.
Speaker: Ultimately, I think there were a few things.
Speaker: Number one...
Speaker: It's tough to say, actually, because Bretz was pretty outlandish.
Speaker: And a lot of times adding a bunch of outlandish detail is a tell for like telling the truth.
Speaker: Like you're like you're trying to oversell it.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: But on the other hand, I just I was thinking about what I know about when sort of like Quakerish Christian revolutions have happened in American history.
Speaker: And I don't recall hearing of one.
Speaker: in the very late 1800s, early 1900s.
Speaker: And then, Carter, when you were telling your story, and you were talking about how, you were talking about the other names of the restaurants, it brought me back to episode number one, when you were naming the ranks in Aleister Crowley's society.
Speaker: The Order of the Golden Dawn.
Speaker: Thank you, yes.
Speaker: And I was just like,
Speaker: This would be a risk.
Speaker: If this were a lie and Carter put this out here, it's a bit of a risk.
Speaker: So I think mostly going on feeling here and feeling my instincts.
Speaker: So you trust Carter?
Speaker: That's a mistake.
Speaker: I wouldn't say that.
Speaker: Few have recovered from.
Speaker: But your instincts were right.
Speaker: I was telling the truth.
Speaker: Yes!
Speaker: Well done.
Speaker: Great work.
Speaker: I thought, so for me, for me, a lot of it came down to how I felt about Bretts.
Speaker: I think when you said they were going to put water in the bowl, I was just like, no shot, no shot.
Speaker: So what if that was true?
Speaker: I got to tell you, pretty much a big, I'd say probably 75% of that was true.
Speaker: I believe.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The cutting off the genitals, that's true.
Speaker: He really did say that.
Speaker: I believe it.
Speaker: Well, I was thinking, I was like, I believe, of course, like any rational person, that the guy who invented Kellogg's
Speaker: crazed anti-sex.
Speaker: Oh, of course, everybody believes that.
Speaker: Everybody knows that, in fact.
Speaker: But then the story of the actual way that the serial was developed, I was just like, I don't know, there's something fishy about this.
Speaker: Well, they did, as far as like, they really did like accidentally leave some dough out.
Speaker: They really did come back the next day and then like roll it out.
Speaker: There was a disagreement about whose involvement was greater than whose involvement.
Speaker: Did they really believe that stimulating food would get you horny?
Speaker: Yes, that is also true.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: The Seventh Day Adventist.
Speaker: So the only lie is that they knew that cornflakes were going to get people going.
Speaker: Yeah, the Corn Flakes and the advertising, that was not true.
Speaker: The background for the Corn Flakes was actually that they wanted to develop a nutritious meal that could help with indigestion, I think was an issue at the time.
Speaker: Like a digestive cookie or something like that.
Speaker: Yes, exactly.
Speaker: Yes, something to help with digestion.
Speaker: And they served it at the sanitarium and it became popular.
Speaker: And then from there, they, you know,
Speaker: They went pretty, pretty widespread with it.
Speaker: And then, and then the Metallica song, the Metallica song.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So we had, we had coordinated because I, I had thought that the whole anti-masturbation for Corn Flakes thing was pretty widespread, but it actually ended up, that part was false.
Speaker: Yeah, I thought that was true.
Speaker: I always thought that was true.
Speaker: I've never heard that in my life.
Speaker: Oh my God, damn it.
Speaker: I'd never heard that before ever.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: So I kind of was like, I had suggested, and I think Brett agreed, obviously, was like, do you think everyone would have heard this?
Speaker: I'm like, I think he would have heard it, but we could double cross him because it ends up not being true.
Speaker: That's clever.
Speaker: That's a clever approach, but I had never heard it.
Speaker: I was banking on that you had heard it because I had heard it.
Speaker: I mean, I'm not going to lie.
Speaker: I can understand the thought.
Speaker: that eating cornflakes would make you less horny.
Speaker: Of course I understand.
Speaker: It works.
Speaker: It actually works.
Speaker: I bet it does.
Speaker: I bet it does.
Speaker: Never have I had a bowl of plain cornflakes and been like, I miss my wife.
Speaker: I haven't had sex with my wife in six months since I started eating cornflakes.
Speaker: And you can put that on a t-shirt.
Speaker: You need a Corvette, my friend.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, weird.
Speaker: And he was also like a eugenicist.
Speaker: Well, that's just table stakes in the late 1800s, if I'm being honest.
Speaker: A lot of his views on quite a bit of the stuff there, he was kind of on his own with as where his head was on some of these viewpoints.
Speaker: I'd imagine he probably wasn't very pro-Semite.
Speaker: That's a good question.
Speaker: I can't remember.
Speaker: I can't remember, but that's a good question because there's a lot of not good stuff.
Speaker: She didn't seem too cool.
Speaker: Just pile it on.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Well, I honestly, this one was a lot of fun.
Speaker: And Aaron?
Speaker: Yeah, that was great.
Speaker: Those were both perhaps the two funniest stories so far.
Speaker: Great, great deduction there.
Speaker: You got it.
Speaker: I really thought we'd get you on that one.
Speaker: We had tried really hard, but we'll try again next time.
Speaker: My ignorance redounds to my benefit.
Speaker: Undefeated at this point.
Speaker: Undefeated.
Speaker: Never lost.
Speaker: How do y'all feel about those rectangular mozzarella sticks or those potato skins at TGI Fridays?
Speaker: I don't think the potato skins are rectangular.
Speaker: Are you saying rectangular?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, comma.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Um, I don't know that I've had a TGI fried potato skin in like a decade.
Speaker: If I ever have, I can't say that I remember ever, ever being at a Friday's actually, I had a frozen one once from the grocery store.
Speaker: Yeah, I was going to say that that was my like typical exposure to those things because they like put their appetizers in a box.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's the only place I know them of.
Speaker: I don't think they serve them at the restaurant.
Speaker: They're like potato skins.
Speaker: Did you read the menu?
Speaker: We haven't had those in years.
Speaker: I think you could also get like a potato chip version of their potatoes.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yeah, you can.
Speaker: I feel like I saw that at Wawa.
Speaker: Yeah, Fridays.
Speaker: I just... Too sexy.
Speaker: Just too sexy.
Speaker: Can't focus.
Speaker: Flair bartending...
Speaker: Yeah, I haven't seen Cocktail, but I have heard of that.
Speaker: It's like doing flair bartending at TGI Fridays, right?
Speaker: I guess.
Speaker: I didn't know it was based on TGI Fridays.
Speaker: I've never heard of that.
Speaker: According to Stillman, Tom Cruise played him in the movie.
Speaker: That is true.
Speaker: Stillman, notoriously short.
Speaker: Is that true?
Speaker: No, I don't know, but Tom Cruise played him, so maybe.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: I don't want to bring the wrath of Scientology down on this fledgling podcast.
Speaker: I'm editing this out.
Speaker: Xenu is listening.
Speaker: The aliens in my body are trying to get out.
Speaker: Have we been cleared?
Speaker: I'll have to check.
Speaker: Anyway, I guess with that, we can go ahead and end it.
Speaker: But we'll be back next week.
Speaker: And I think, oh, flip the coin.
Speaker: Boop, boop, boop, boop.
Speaker: I think I guess.
Speaker: Yeah, it's my turn, I guess, next week.
Speaker: So, yeah, I'll just go ahead and say we dropped the facade of flipping the coin because we're just going to go in order from now on.
Speaker: And that's that.
Speaker: But we'll see you all next time.
Speaker: Thank you very much for joining us.
Speaker: And go ahead and, Brett, hit us with the patented.
Speaker: Hootie-hoo.
Speaker: Hootie-hoo!
Speaker: Hootie-hoo!
Speaker: Bye, everyone.
Speaker: Bye.
Speaker: Aaron, say fucking bye.
Speaker: Bye.
Speaker: Okay, see you guys.
