Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Joyful Juggling: Intentionally Creating Balance and Joy in Motherhood, Career, and Life — with Dr. Miranda Walichowski
101 Plays1 year ago
Dr. Miranda Walichowski joins Leanna for a highly impactful conversation for working moms. Miranda does it all — she is a business owner, a professor, a mother of 5, a devoted wife and woman of faith, and a competitive powerlifter. Trying to balance all of this might feel leave one feeling regularly stuck in stress and overwhelm, but Miranda has found a way to juggle it all while genuinely enjoying her life.
She shares how she does it with some tangible strategies, like focusing on the highest impact activities, regularly checking in with herself and those around her, carving out time for herself and honoring it, prioritizing her health and mindset, and giving herself grace. She shares how she overcame her own anxiety and freed herself from all the pressure she was putting on herself. There is so much to learn from this powerful conversation!
Connect with Miranda here.
Connect with Leanna here.
Full transcript available here.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast and Hosts
00:00:08
Speaker
Welcome to the Executive Coach for Moms podcast, where we support women who are attempting to find balance and joy while simultaneously leading people at work and at home. I'm your host, Leigh Ann Alaski McGrath, former tech exec turned full-time mom, recovering perfectionist and workaholic and certified executive coach.
00:00:30
Speaker
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the show. Today I'm sharing a conversation I had with Dr. Miranda Walachowski. Miranda does it all. Literally, she runs her own business. She's a mom of five. She's a professor, a devoted wife, and woman of faith, and a competitive power lifter.
Why Successful Women Often Feel Unfulfilled
00:00:50
Speaker
I think what strikes me most is that she's also an extremely joyful person. She does all of this and really balances it while actually enjoying her experience. I think that's really been my goal for myself. And also a huge goal that I have for this podcast is really to help women who are doing all the things and who are successful on paper also feel successful in their own lives.
00:01:14
Speaker
You heard that play out in my coaching conversation last week with Allie, and that's what I do all the time in my coaching business because so many women who are really successful or appear really successful end up feeling like they're not at all. And so I can relate to that because when I was running a company full time and trying to be a mom for my baby, do everything else, I was just feeling like I was so successful on paper and to the outside world.
Taking Control for Happiness and Fulfillment
00:01:44
Speaker
But on the inside, I didn't feel happy. I was constantly beating myself up and I just wasn't enjoying my overall life. Of course I had happy days, but overall I wasn't feeling good about what I was doing. But I think the reality is that we have this one life to live and we get to decide for ourselves how we want to live it.
00:02:06
Speaker
We get to decide whether we're going to continue making life easier for everyone around us while we suffer, or if we're going to take the reins of our own lives and ensure that we're enjoying it too. At the end of the day, that power lies in our hands. And what I love about this conversation with Miranda is that she has found a way to do so many things while still
00:02:28
Speaker
being joyful and enjoying the ride.
Balancing Responsibilities with Joy
00:02:32
Speaker
She's extremely successful on paper and she has a positive impact on everyone around her. And she's also incredibly diligent about prioritizing her own needs.
00:02:42
Speaker
She shares how it hasn't always been this easy for her, but she also shares a lot of the different components that allow her to find joy while getting everything done. So if you're struggling from overwhelm, from all of your many responsibilities, I really hope that this conversation inspires you and gives you hope and demonstrates the possibilities. I know it was incredibly inspiring for me as I continue to work toward creating more balance and joy in my life. Enjoy.
00:03:15
Speaker
Hi, everyone. Today I have a very special guest, Miranda Walachowski. So I'm very excited to have Miranda here. She's a fellow coach and she's an educator and a mom. And I am so excited for you to hear from her today. So Miranda, can you introduce yourself to everyone listening?
00:03:36
Speaker
Yes, so I'm Miranda Walachowski, and I am a professor at Texas A&M University in the Department of Educational Psychology. In 2015, I met coaching and absolutely fell in love with that as a support modality. So I was searching for ways of how do you support and develop people
00:03:57
Speaker
without just giving them more information and more to do. During that process of exploring, I landed on coaching and it just really resonated with me. I remember the first time I saw our instructor deliver a coaching engagement or coaching session, I just felt like that's what I meant to do in the world. All of my skills and life experience and interests and values and everything just culminated in that moment.
00:04:21
Speaker
and i said i want to be able to do that for others in the world and so that's how the professor becomes a leadership executive team coach in that process and in addition i am married we have five children ranging from age 25 to age 10.
The Many Roles of Miranda
00:04:39
Speaker
And so the youngest just turned 10 this month and apparently it was a big pivotal moment to no longer be in single digits. So apparently her siblings would tease her about being in single digits. And so now being in double digits is a thing. I had no idea. And then I also have my own coaching practice.
00:04:56
Speaker
And it is called human architects and so i had my own practice near new coaching consulting where i worked with executives leaders and their teams and so through human architecting i have partnered with someone so that we could scale that and be able to start more teams and more groups.
00:05:17
Speaker
because it's time just based on what we're seeing in society. The world needs more and we're hoping we can serve in a bigger way. Then on my free time, I am a competitive power lifter. That is a very special time for me. Despite all the busyness, I carve out that time, I try to protect that time and just remind myself that it gives me so much more than it takes.
00:05:40
Speaker
And that's about it. That's all. I love how you're like, I'm a professor and also a mother and a wife and I have my own coaching practice. Oh, and also I'm a power lifter in my great time. How do you do it all? You probably get that question a lot. How do you manage it all and balance it all and also kind of
00:06:05
Speaker
remain joyful and enjoy it with everything going on.
Prioritizing in Life
00:06:10
Speaker
Yeah, so I often say that one of my biggest complaints is that God made life interesting because I do find myself going down many rabbit holes of interest of like, oh, if only I had the time, I would do this. Like I took up cello lessons and I took up tennis at one point, et cetera. So just exploring and engaging.
00:06:32
Speaker
But I think the way to do it all is not to do it all at once and not to do it all well and not to do it all to its fullest extent. And so just kind of where, what is one state of life and then being able to make adjustments for that and then doing some things that are just good enough. And it's really about questioning self of what really matters in this and then just pursuing that and giving oneself grace. So for example, obviously,
00:07:01
Speaker
I can't parent to the degree that a full-time parent would. And that's just a reality. And so then what matters in my parenting, instead of always beating myself up and wondering, am I doing enough? What am I not doing, not comparing myself to others? I just go to the source.
00:07:18
Speaker
and i check in with my children like how are you doing what is something that if i did differently would help you feel more loved would help life be easier for you or whatever and the things i ask for so simple and so it's easy for me to deliver on that and then just to trust you know that as long as i'm reflecting and trying to.
00:07:39
Speaker
improve as a parent and i'm checking in with the source then i need to trust that that's working and so the same resonates in all other aspects of life so in marriage i'm in business also asking myself like what is it that i should be doing what is going to have the greatest return.
00:07:55
Speaker
What is the greatest need that we need to do and how could the other things kind of take a second place or third place or whatever and just drive for that for now and be at peace and that is going to be good enough and so again you're checking in and you're reflecting.
00:08:10
Speaker
the same thing in my lifting. What do I need to do? Obviously, I would love to train more. I train four days a week and just have peace with that. I'm older, I need the recovery time, I can focus in the time that I'm there, not compare myself to the type of training that others might be doing that are younger than I am. I think it's just that mindful approach to it all of what would it mean to be good at this or good enough,
00:08:37
Speaker
finding out what that is and then just driving that and letting go of all the rest of the chatter that tells you it's not enough or you're not good enough, et cetera. That's so interesting because I think many of the women I coach, there's almost this feeling of being not enough and that is measured by
00:08:59
Speaker
not being able to do everything to the fullest extent, especially because I think parenting is added to our lives at some point in our lives, right? And it's not like integrated into how we work and how we live our lives from the early days of our adulthood necessarily, right? Especially with kids a little bit later. And so it's like, how do I do everything I was doing before? And now I want to do everything that this new thing entails and
00:09:29
Speaker
to its fullest extent. I guess what I'm curious about is it sounds like you have a really good kind of system of prioritizing and making sure that you're focusing on the highest impact activities in each different aspect of your life and each different thing that's important to you. But how do you let go of that and still feel okay about your contribution, still feel good about it?
00:09:53
Speaker
I think at the end, we're all going to have regrets about something. It's choosing what I'm okay to regret and what I'm not okay to regret. Just accepting that that's part of life. I often say, I wish there were multiple me's because I know exactly how I deploy them every day.
00:10:12
Speaker
Um, but there isn't there's just one and so just reminding myself like, you know, you get to live this very rich life Um and get to engage in so many different pieces and so you can expend your energy
00:10:27
Speaker
You know criticizing that etc or you can expend your energy and just engaging with it And regrets are going to be a part of it of I could have done that better I could have done that differently and so just accepting that like I don't think anyone Is exonerated from that because everything is a choice Whenever you engage in something you're saying no to several other things. So it's just part of life and
00:10:50
Speaker
So just deciding what am I willing to not regret and what am I okay to end up regretting?
Aligning Actions with Core Values
00:10:56
Speaker
I'm not saying that I live by that daily and make all decisions by that. If I could, that would be amazing. But when life is going well, it's usually because I'm in alignment with that. When I get off course, it's usually because I'm not aligned with that. Do you have any suggestions or tips or just things that you do?
00:11:16
Speaker
When you do find yourself out of alignment with that, like what brings you back? It's really my core values. And so that's something that we learned about through coaching. Like what are our core values? And I always thought that that sounded kind of, I don't know, frivolous or woo woo. And I thought like, you know, my executives and leaders are not going to want to go in that space of core values.
00:11:37
Speaker
But it's actually almost how I start every coaching engagement because those values are driving who you are, who resonates with you, who maybe you don't align with, when you feel in alignment, when an environment's working well for you and when it's not. And so just going back to those and being able to make decisions on what needs to happen next based on those. So like my top one is
00:11:58
Speaker
It makes it easy because it's growth. That's my top core value. Being able to ask myself in this moment, what is going to provide that opportunity to grow? When I'm not feeling in alignment, it's when I'm stagnant and I don't feel like I have something to look forward to or a challenge or growth. Then it's like, okay, how do you invite that in? Another thing is just love. If I'm getting so busy that
00:12:23
Speaker
I don't feel like I'm giving love to the people that matter most. And then that definition of what love is, you know, varies from what it looks like with my husband and then my children and students and then clients. And if I'm not there, then something's missing. It's usually having to take care of myself in some way that I'm overextending myself, not sleeping enough. Maybe even my husband knows. So I was off from training last week.
00:12:50
Speaker
And so we were discussing like my coach said I couldn't scale back or I could completely take the time off. And he said, well, you know, we'd like to have a pleasant week, so maybe you don't want to go completely off and still make time to go to the gym. And so it's like the family knows like, oh, no, don't take any time off. And so there's been times where I feel like.
00:13:11
Speaker
that's my respite or my escape and maybe on a Saturday I'll just stay there longer and then just do my mobility and my cool down and warm up and just really enjoy and tell myself like you've earned being in this space not that you have to but you've earned it and not only that it's an investment for your future and look what you get to do look at how you get to play as an adult because I consider that play
00:13:35
Speaker
That redirects me and then I'm able to re-engage in life. It's just a constant assessment and conversation with that inner self. Again, prioritizing and using core values as a barometer for that. It sounds like you also have people around you who are helping to support you. It's not that you have to lean on yourself 100 percent and make sure that you are staying in alignment, but you also have people who are helping you a lot.
00:14:04
Speaker
along that way as well. Oh my goodness. Yes. That's my wealth are my relationships and the people that I have. So I have a spiritual coach every now and then I engage with a coach as well for personal development or professional development. I have my powerlifting coach and then my family in different ways. My father is so immensely helpful. So it just kind of pulls me out of minds whenever I get into something, whether it's transportation or helping out with the children in some way.
00:14:34
Speaker
It's
Leveraging Relationships for Success
00:14:35
Speaker
quite a community that I get to leverage and I do acknowledge the strength that is there because of that. There's no way that I would be able to do this without that. My business partner as well, if I'm inundated or in a bad space and it's like I need to take this afternoon off or whatever gracefully, she just picks it up.
00:14:56
Speaker
And so i think that's key those relationships absolutely yeah absolutely leveraging in any way and not being afraid and when i'm coaching individuals they often will not seek for help because i don't want to impose on others. And so my reframe on that is when i have felt the happiest in life most fulfilled is when i've been giving of myself.
00:15:18
Speaker
either in my energy or my time or my skill sets or wisdom or whatever, or just even presence to someone. I don't know that anything beats that feeling. When we don't ask for others for help, we're denying them of that opportunity to feel as fulfilled as we feel when we are giving them. Obviously, I'm mindful and is this the right time and quite aligning what I want to ask of them from what comes natural to them.
00:15:44
Speaker
So like even one of my daughters, she's 11. Sometimes I will recruit her to help me track things. So I track things like my protein intake, my sleep, how many hours I've worked and et cetera. And I wouldn't ask the other children to do that because they wouldn't like to, but she loves it. And so she'll come in in the evening and let's do your tracking mom. How did you do on these different metrics? And she records it for me and things like that. So
00:16:10
Speaker
It's small but it's huge cuz i know i'm gonna meet with her and she's my accountability buddy and she enjoys it and i want also model that i don't have to be perfect she'll even say. Like mom you hit this metric three days in a row like that to bed on time and your reading is still not coming along but that's okay you'll get. So it's modeling that you know not beating yourself up but also pushing yourself.
00:16:34
Speaker
And so kind of that nice balance. And so she's seeing me wrestle with that, like, okay, my mom struggles with that. And she just kind of keeps going, picks up the next day and tries better. So I think there's just so much in there that we learn from each other as we're engaging and supporting each other. Yeah. I love so much about what you're saying here because it seems like part of the way that you're able to do all of the things that you want to do in your life,
00:17:03
Speaker
is that you are not afraid to ask for help. You actually look at it as that it's mutually beneficial. It's helping you and the other person, which I love that reframe because I think so many people are afraid to ask for help or think they're imposing. And if you have these different areas of your life, it's like you're hitting so many of them with one activity, right? With one action. So in the example with your daughter, not only are you meeting your needs for your powerlifting and your health,
00:17:33
Speaker
and your nutrition, but you're also engaging with her. You're also kind of taking a load off of you a little bit. You're modeling for her. It's like so many things. So whenever you talked about the high impact activities earlier, I think that's a great example of where like one activity, one expulsion of your energy can hit so many different areas and have such a high impact. Exactly. And I think we're all doing that.
00:18:01
Speaker
but I don't think we acknowledge that and that's where the beating self up is that we don't see that we see them as very isolated activities and then we're constantly critiquing so if you're critiquing the part of the brain that's engaged in that is not going to allow the creative and the problem solving aspect of the energy to be there for the other and so it's just again trusting that if I'm evaluating I'm going to the source I'm adjusting
00:18:27
Speaker
That's enough. I'm not a robot. I'm a human. Even trusting that your struggles in themselves could be good lessons for others or bring about a greater good. I think when you start to embrace that, it just allows you to relax into life and being able to be more organic and responsive to life instead of trying to drive with clenched fists and perhaps driving in the wrong direction.
Gaining Clarity and Wisdom with Age
00:18:54
Speaker
Well, I'm curious too, I know you had a milestone birthday this year. Yes. And so as did I, but a different one. And so I guess I'm curious, you know, as you look back, as you entered a new decade and ended another one, is this something that you've brought along all along the way? Or do you think this is something that has
00:19:15
Speaker
developed more like this perspective has developed over time. When did that come along and did you struggle with different things maybe 10 years ago or 20 years ago at different decades or different points in your life? That's a great question. I think I was blessed with just having a disposition for this, just this mindset. I think much of it comes from
00:19:37
Speaker
just what my father modeled. That's definitely been there. That's definitely an advantage and makes it easier for me to be able to navigate in this direction. But no, I have not been at this point where I am. Turning 50 does come with some years of wisdom. You have all your tacit knowledge and then your discipline knowledge and life experiences and you get to merge all of those and just look back.
00:20:04
Speaker
and be able to see things with more clarity. So definitely the aging has helped in that time because it just gives you more years to be able to experience things and to see the experiences of others for sure. So I think before that it was more of that element of I did I remember I struggled quite deeply and I think it was when I was finishing my dissertation
00:20:28
Speaker
And I was in that space of, how am I doing as a mother and as a faculty member? So I was instructional faculty then or graduate
Overcoming Anxiety through Growth
00:20:39
Speaker
assistant. So those roles lecture and graduate assistant. And then also working on my dissertation and all of those things. And I do remember there were times where
00:20:49
Speaker
It just felt overwhelming and I felt that I was not being successful in all of those areas. At one point, it even led to my having to get on anxiety medication. It affected me biologically. I could feel my heart racing and I just didn't feel like I could grasp control over things. I went on the anxiety medication for a period of time. I don't remember what it was, maybe a year, year and a half.
00:21:13
Speaker
During that period of time, I tried to figure out how do we become anti-fragile? This is a very difficult period of time, even though I was working part-time at the university, but working part-time, being a mom. By then, I had my second child and trying to finish a dissertation. If I can go beyond just surviving this phase and actually building something good here,
00:21:39
Speaker
I'm becoming better because of this experience then i'm going to be equipped for any further challenges is life is not gonna get any easier people always think it is but it doesn't or rarely does and so then i started working on things that did help me.
00:21:55
Speaker
And that was the mindset and that was around that time learning about coaching helped immensely spiritual growth helped immensely and then taking care of my body I think is absolutely unlocked quite a bit. So all of those things kind of coalescing allowed me to get off the anxiety medication and not
00:22:12
Speaker
have to need that anymore because of all the coping mechanisms that I now have. So I did hit that nadir at one point. So I know that struggle and I'm glad I was able to get out of that through multiple things. I think it's really interesting to hear about your experience there because
00:22:31
Speaker
You talked about your disposition being a huge asset. And so some people might think, I just don't have that disposition. So therefore I'll never be able to have this mindset. But the fact that you have experienced anxiety that you've gone through that and that you found ways to cope is.
00:22:48
Speaker
I think really inspiring to others who are experiencing that anxiety or feeling like they're not enough. And maybe there's some hope for them that they can get to this place of finding more peace and joy. Right. Absolutely. Yes. Yeah. So one of the things that I think is so interesting about you and your story, when we met in 2017, you were having your own coaching business.
Adapting Family and Work Roles
00:23:15
Speaker
And I think around that time, your husband had transitioned into full time parenthood for your five children. And I just remember thinking it was such an interesting dynamic and I loved hearing about it. So can you just talk a little bit more about that dynamic, how it came to be and kind of
00:23:32
Speaker
how it works for you and your family. Yeah. So I think that was all when we're in coach training. That's the fun part of being in coach training that you get to bring all of your issues and have multiple people coach you. So I think during 2017, so I went through IPEC coach training in 2015, and then I loved it so much that I thought there was an opportunity to do envision coach training. And I said, I'm going to go do it.
00:23:54
Speaker
so you don't necessarily have to go to two schools but i'd even go to a third if there were the opportunity well actually i teach classes now so there's your third so at that time yes so it was we were in twenty seventeen and my husband i was working in a nonprofit
00:24:11
Speaker
And they ended up consolidating and so centralizing things and his office. He was like the business manager there and that role was done away with and so he comes home one day and he shares that news with us that this had happened.
00:24:28
Speaker
That exact same day, I had been operating my business, but I hadn't formalized things through the LLC process. My binder came in that day, so my seal and my binder. I thought, well, how interesting. Is this coincidence? Is this indication of something yet to come that these things coincide? This was during the summer.
00:24:52
Speaker
And we noticed that a lot of the stress just went down because he was around. And I think a lot of things were falling on my shoulders because I had more flexibility in my work as well.
00:25:04
Speaker
And he was happier. The children were happier. I was happier. Financial stress was off the roof because of that. It's like, oh, what are we going to do with one income and a pretty large family? But on the other hand, it was complete bliss. And so then I asked him, should we give this a try and have you help with the business some and just manage our budget better, et cetera, and see what would be possible?
00:25:31
Speaker
And so in that moment, I felt like my practice was an infant and I was asking it to ride a bike, like really accelerating its growth of like, now you've got to deliver, you know, sorry, you're in diapers, but you've got to start pedaling this bike and deliver. And so it just takes time, but it was responding, which was the neat thing to see. It just kind of grew in proportion to what we needed at the time.
00:25:55
Speaker
Yes, there were many challenges along the way. It is very challenging for a marriage, I think, sometimes to approach this in an unconventional way. For us in particular, I tend to be traditional and have a spiritual lens, traditional lens for the way that I look at things and relationships. I had to realize or learn that there was a difference between exchanging responsibilities but not exchanging roles.
00:26:24
Speaker
And so whenever I felt we were exchanging roles, that's when I had this attitude in my heart and I was wrestling with things and just things didn't feel right. And I resented the situation when I could step back and realize it's not the role, but the responsibilities that we could switch.
00:26:44
Speaker
Then there was a lot of joy that came out of that and I felt very settled. I felt a sense of this is exactly what we're supposed to be doing and we're creating quite an ideal situation because in my mind I had always thought of that romanticize about that idea of what would it look like to work with my husband.
00:27:01
Speaker
on something like you were ever since we got married and he would tell you that like i would say things like that i never imagine it would happen but then it did but i think that was the foundation for me and so whenever people ask about that i challenge them to think about those two things and so if as a female you still want to be.
00:27:20
Speaker
the woman at the end of the day, and that's important to you, and he still needs to be the man at the end of the day, and that's important to him and to you, then it's the responsibilities that need to be clearly defined and exchanged or flipped, but not the roles. In general, your men tend to like to feel like they have what it takes and that they have a sense of respect, and then women, we want to feel
00:27:46
Speaker
that we are women and you could take care of us. Yes, I could do this business thing, but if I'm coming in with groceries, it's nice of somebody if he meets me at the door and carries them. Those little subtle things takes me on a date, plans the date, little things like that that still make me feel like, okay, I'm the woman in this relationship. I think that's another thing that's constant. It's a constant re-examining, talking about that because I can get in that role where
00:28:13
Speaker
I'm kind of bulldozy and I think I have some friends of mine will describe me as very stoic and having some very masculine tendencies, although I see myself as also feminine, but those can surface and drive and that's when it begins to kind of become a challenge. And so being able to leverage that duality in a balanced way
00:28:33
Speaker
I think is a fun part of life and also what helps the relationship go better. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's just so interesting. So you've been, it's been about five or six years now that you have been, you're fully in the business. He's part time in the business and mostly with the kids. And I'm sure there's just been so, so many opportunities to learn and grow together. And I think it's so interesting kind of how you,
00:29:00
Speaker
break out the responsibilities and the roles a little bit differently and make sure that they're very clearly defined. And I'm sure it requires a lot of communication to make it all work, I assume.
Embracing Trade-offs in Life
00:29:11
Speaker
Right. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. So it's funny because I say I like tradition, but yet we have a very untraditional thing with a traditional flavor to it. And so it just, it just works. Yeah.
00:29:23
Speaker
Well, that's what's important that it works for you. It may or may not work for other people, you know, for somebody else, but it works for right for you and your family. And I think the other thing I love about that is that especially kind of lately, we've been seeing a lot of layoffs and you know, that's obviously a very unfortunate thing to happen to somebody. And I think it's just so interesting how you took that.
00:29:46
Speaker
and turn it into an opportunity, right? Like that unfortunate situation that you work together to make it actually really work well for your family and kind of leverage that decision that you didn't make, but that was made for you, but then turn it into an opportunity. And I, yeah, I just love that. I think the other thing that you talked about before is like, what regrets do you want to have? And basically that there are trade-offs of everything. And so in this situation, at least at first,
00:30:14
Speaker
there was a very big trade-off in terms of financial, but also lots of positives with everything else. And so I think that that is also really important for us to realize as many of the listeners, myself included, tend to be perfectionists or recovering perfectionists. And so wanting to make sure that like all the boxes are checked with every decision and just recognizing that actually that doesn't always happen.
00:30:42
Speaker
and maybe like the boxes get checked over time, right? But maybe not all right away. And you talked about at the beginning of kind of having it all, but not all at once all the time. Right, right. No, exactly. It definitely is and continues to be a trade off. So I often ask people like, what do you think it takes to raise five children? And they'll say, I don't know. And then I'll say all of it.
00:31:05
Speaker
Because even if you have more, now you could take care of other things like fully funded scholarships, fully funded weddings. And if you don't have much, okay, you're at least providing for the day. So I don't know that at what point it's enough. And so yes, that continues to be a trade off for sure, you know, because it's very rare now that people will even attempt to live on one income.
00:31:27
Speaker
Add much less with the large family and so it does we do acknowledge that there are things like we don't. Take vacations like our vacations are going to soccer fields almost every weekend you know the surrounding area and being there at the hotel like the leave my girls think like that's a big deal you know it's a hotel nice and does it have a pool that type of thing and maybe we could do something.
00:31:48
Speaker
else while we're in that city. There are constant trade-offs. But then again, in the end, I realized that I feel wealthy in all other aspects of my life and that more money would just, I always think of it as a Mackey board or like a podcasting audio, the thing that DJs use. If more money were here, it would just turn up the dial slightly on some things or turn down the dial slightly on other things. But it really wouldn't make
00:32:16
Speaker
that much of a difference to me or to the way that I'm living or even to my children. It's just being mindful of that. Yes, I could beat myself up daily about, is this enough or what's needed? Or I could say, gosh, we're pretty wealthy and more money is just going to make things a tad easier, a tad more fun, or a tad less stress. But it's not worth beating myself up about that because that's not the right energy that's going to help drive business forward anyway.
00:32:46
Speaker
Again, it's a lot of examining, a lot of having those conversations with self and with others and being at peace with, yeah, I can't have it all exactly the way society or even I would want it. What am I willing to give in order to have these other things? Then really desiring, I think that's the key. You fall in love and you really desire the things that you do have and it makes it so much easier.
00:33:12
Speaker
Yeah. You have talked a lot about like these conversations with self and ensuring alignment with values and things like that, as well as, you know, your powerlifting, your coaching, kind of being coached, all these different things.
Importance of Self-care and Boundaries
00:33:29
Speaker
And I think a lot of times whenever I talk to women, especially who want to do this kind of work, they say, but I just don't feel like I have the time. Like, how do I fit in?
00:33:41
Speaker
one more thing to my already, you know, I already feel overwhelmed with working and trying to raise these kids and having a relationship and trying to maintain other relationships and then take care of myself. And it's almost like, I think a lot of times the self part becomes almost an afterthought or like at the bottom of the priority list. And it sounds like for you, it's really essential and you have found a way to kind of make it
00:34:11
Speaker
part of your regular practice and priorities. So how do you do that? How do you kind of make sure that you carve that time? Tell me more about that. I think that's the critical piece and in many ways the key that unlocks so much more. And there are moments where I do, especially when I am getting ready to compete. So during that time that I'm in
00:34:34
Speaker
meet preparation, so not in MEAT, but EET, so meet preparation or competition preparation. It's usually about, it starts gearing up around a 12-week process and then accelerates in terms of intensity, difficulty in the gym. That time requires more for me and it's a very hard time mentally anyway. I know in the last time that I was preparing for nationals, I did ask my husband,
00:35:01
Speaker
I'm taking extra time at the gym because I need to recover. I need to rest. I need to get all this volume in. I'm feeling tugged about that. I'm feeling guilty about that time because there's so much that we need to be doing in so many of the other areas. His response was like, no, just enjoy the time that you're there. Give that to yourself.
00:35:22
Speaker
because it gives you so much more. He's absolutely right about that. Normally, it doesn't take that long. When I'm in the regular part of the season or the year, it just does. I go and I have a training session and it does so many things for me. One, it helps me with mindset. As a 50-year-old woman, established career,
00:35:45
Speaker
and established business are now just transitioning into something a little bit different, but still, the foundation is there. There's not many spaces where I enter where I'm afraid of what's going to happen? Can I do this? The gym does that for me, for better or for worse, but that's what it is. Even today, I had squats five by five and they were at a heavier weight.
00:36:09
Speaker
and squats did not go well about two weeks ago. I was going up in weight. Even just before entering the gym, it was like, can I do this? Am I going to get in that negative mindset and just spiral? Every now and then, I have to bail. Sometimes, it just doesn't go well. I'm fatigued. We've been at soccer all weekend and I try to hit it Monday morning and it's just not there. All of that is going on in my head and I had to constantly fight that.
00:36:34
Speaker
I replacing it of just like you know brandy you can do this you've done a lot sixty pounds more than this like and reminding myself you're strong and even if you struggle it doesn't mean anything it's not a judgment of how fit or strong you are just execute on the work.
Overcoming Negativity with Focus
00:36:49
Speaker
And then focusing instead of allowing the negativity of like oh this feels heavy or whatever just focus get tight. When you're down in the hole just explode up that's all you have to think about don't think about anything else it's really hard to fight and suppress negative thoughts it's much easier to replace them.
00:37:05
Speaker
So get tight, go down when you're in the hole, explode up and continuously. All through the five sets, I was fighting with myself mentally and winning this time. I don't always get to win, but this time I got to win. Then that translates into so much in terms of life and business. I leave the gym like I'm ready to go, whatever challenge is ahead of me, I can do it. I don't know that I could have that outside of my prayer time,
00:37:32
Speaker
At the chapel, I do that once a week for an hour. I don't know that I could have that anywhere else. Not only that, it's an investment in self. As we age, especially as we get into our 40s, we're losing about 10% of muscle mass every decade. That muscle mass equates to
00:37:50
Speaker
If I get in an accident, how quickly or how well can I recover? If I fall ill, your muscle is your investment, your revenue that you could draw from to be able to recover. Your muscle equates to your independence. Obviously, you don't have to have a ton of muscle, but you have to have adequate muscle so you don't go into sarcopenia, which is the decaying and the wasting away of muscle. The more muscle you have, the more independent you're going to be in your 80s and 90s.
00:38:16
Speaker
So realizing that this is an investment and I'm already seeing the payoff of it. I often get comments from people that they're quite surprised at my age. Just last week, I was at the university and somebody was asking me, several people will say this, how do you age in reverse? Every time I see you, it looks like you're aging in reverse. I say, well, it's a couple of things. I think it's the gym and I really do believe it's the fountain of youth. Then just being joyful in life and that helps.
00:38:46
Speaker
So not only that but the power lifting helps me set boundaries on everything else and i think that is key.
Discipline through Powerlifting
00:38:53
Speaker
Because i would not be here without those boundaries so when i had the anxiety i got to the point where i would go get a dish out to eat something and i felt like i don't even have time to close the cabinet.
00:39:05
Speaker
It was getting pretty wild. I would not even close the cupboard or the cabinet. I just felt like I was just spinning, just rushing and everything else. One of the things that powerlifting has done for me is it set boundaries. Miranda, no matter what, even if a meeting is happening at lunchtime, you will eat lunch during the meeting. If a work isn't done and it's bedtime, you will go to bed.
00:39:27
Speaker
If it's time to hydrate, no matter what you're doing teaching class, I never leave, my bottle is with me all the time. Those type of things, it has helped me set very healthy boundaries. While I'm at the gym, I don't look at anybody's emails or text messages. I just won't respond. Obviously, if it's my family or an emergency, but other than that, it's boundaries. I'm here, I'm focused on what I'm doing so that I could be safe and enjoy this space.
00:39:56
Speaker
I think that's been very powerful because I don't think that we give ourselves permission or even know how to set boundaries. Setting those boundaries has just allowed so many other little mini boundaries that are so appropriate and serve a good purpose to be set up more easily. I could not be here without that. I could not have done that on my own of just saying, oh, I need to set healthy boundaries. It took me falling in love with something that just forced the boundaries to be there if that makes sense.
00:40:26
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. And I do think it's so important and something that we just don't often do, right? We just don't often, like you said, give ourselves permission to prioritize ourselves and then to set those boundaries. But I think
00:40:39
Speaker
the more examples that we can see like you of people who are doing so many things and who are joyful about it all, right? Who are like constantly stressed and anxious and, you know, just trying to kind of charge through life and get it all done, but actually enjoying the ride, so to say. I think that that's so inspirational because I think
00:41:05
Speaker
It encourages other people to also say, Hmm, what if I step back and took a little bit of time for myself? What if I exercised more than I do right now? If I'm, you know, if I'm not currently prioritizing that, what if I spent time in coaching, spent time
00:41:20
Speaker
in self-reflection and really clarifying my values. Like you said, that feels frivolous at the beginning, but once you start to do it and you start to see the benefits of all of that, of really spending time with oneself and investing in oneself and how it pays off in so many areas of our lives,
00:41:41
Speaker
then it's almost like you can't stop. You don't want to stop, right? Right. Yes. Once you see the evidence and the return on investment, it was just like, there's no way. Then it becomes like, may always have the grace and the blessing to be able to continue to do this because you know it gives you so much. And that's the gratitude I feel when I'm in the gym. It's often like, thank you God for one more day that I'm able to do this because again, it just gives so much back. Yeah.
00:42:07
Speaker
It absolutely does and I often joke that I will give clients discounts when they come on if they're willing to go and hire a personal trainer and hit the gym because their ability to accomplish their goals is going to be exponentially increased by adding that and I've seen that with clients.
00:42:26
Speaker
I don't push it or anything, but they become with curiosity. They learn that I'm a competitive powerlifter, they feel it's unusual, they get curious, they start asking questions and why. Then when I share that, they're like, oh, well, I'm thinking I might be open to that. I'm like, really? You are? I get so excited.
00:42:42
Speaker
Then they engage and then they come back and they say, I know it sounds cliche-ish, but yes, it's so life-changing and it just allows me to show up in all aspects of my life in a more powerful way, and I just celebrate
Fitness as a Key to Achieving Goals
00:42:55
Speaker
that. But yes, always in a quippy way. You get a discount if you start exercising as you start executive or leadership coaching because you're just going to win at everything. Yeah. That's such a great point. I think both are so important, the physical and the mental, emotional.
00:43:11
Speaker
that we focus on both. Yeah. Well, I have learned so much from this conversation, and I think that everyone listening as well, there's so much to be learned here. And also, like I said, just, I think it's so inspirational to see people, especially women who are enjoying their lives and
00:43:29
Speaker
accomplishing the things that they want to and just like living life on their own terms right in the way that works best for them and their families. So thank you for being that example and thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing all of your wisdom with us and I know so many people are going to benefit from it. Is there anything else that you would want to share with listeners before we sign off?
00:43:52
Speaker
I think it's just the idea of be careful of the conversations that you say, have with yourself because you're listening. Just being mindful of what are the words that I use, the phrases, how do I reframe things so that they serve me better? If you get good at having those conversations with self, it just allows so much else to open up in your life. I think that's the big thing and the thing I'd like to encourage people to be mindful of. What's that conversation?
00:44:20
Speaker
sounds like. Yeah, I love that. Well, thank you so much, Miranda. Thanks so much to everyone for tuning in and we'll see you all next week. Thanks so much for tuning in to the Executive Coach for Moms podcast. Please like, subscribe, or follow the show so you'll be notified when the next episode is available. I hope you'll join me again next time. Take care.