Transcript
Speaker: Hello everyone and welcome back to Survive This Crit. This is our 2025 Spooktacular where we are facing against Frankenstein and Frankenstein's monster.
Speaker: Now we are in the Sladium picking up where we left off with Dungeon Maestro Agent Casey. Take it away. Hello, and welcome to Narrative Feats.
Speaker: Welcome to a special event actual play of the Sladium Games, an exciting collaboration with the fine, fine people of Survive This Crit.
Speaker: Hello, folks. Hey, guys. Hello. So excited to be here. Howdy. I'm excited that you're here and thank you for playing.
Speaker: These are Narrative Feats, a thrilling anthology series of tabletop tales brought to you by yours truly, Casey Jones, creator and host of Anywhere But Now and the joy of GMing.
Speaker: As we dive into bold adventures and fantastic tales, what better way to continue our exciting era Then with bloody, glorious combat, for your listening pleasure, we will make sweet music.
Speaker: Kylie, Chandler, Robert, welcome back. Last time you entered the malignant mansion in search of Agent Nick and the secret lab of Dr. Vincent Verschmelzenkörper.
Speaker: Moments after entering, the doors vanished behind you and you were attacked by insects, plants, and a ghastly reflected doppelganger. As you braved the second floor, Nick explored the meeting room and discovered a trio of ghosts missing body parts.
Speaker: You opened a chest in the corner of the room and were stung by a poisoned needle where we rejoin our heroes. Nick, your head is swimming. Everything weighs twice as much as it did only seconds ago.
Speaker: As you break out in a flop sweat, you brace yourself against the now open trunk as you look inside.
Speaker: And in that chest, you are going to find
Speaker: two potions of greater healing, and a familiar looking shield. Oh man, I'd be so happy right now. oh my gosh, what is is going on with my head?
Speaker: My hand hurts. Son of a nutcracker.
Speaker: Son of a nutcracker indeed. At least your AC has gone up to a healthy, robust 19. Yes. How does it feel getting your hands on tangible defense? Feels great. I finally... What does it... You remember my strategy from last time? it is defense all the way. Here we go. I got my secret weapon.
Speaker: Love to hear it. Outstanding. um Nearby, Rob and Chandler, you both hear a of pain as Nick stings himself in the the meeting room on the second floor.
Speaker: What are you guys doing? That agent, Nick, always finding himself in trouble. Shall we assist him once again? Yeah, I guess he's gonna need it. Kylie, are you good?
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, I was in a spooky dookie bathroom and with a ghost cat, but I think I'm just gonna join you guys. Oh, Nick. I say I make my way over. As guys enter the room, because I'm starting to sweat, I just want to say that you guys catch me when taking my shirt off. I'm like, oh my gosh, it's just so hot in here. Oh my gosh.
Speaker: He's so pale. pale. Oh, guys. As the three of you enter, you find a trio of disembodied spirits arguing around the broken table. Not a one of them is spectrally intact, arguing over where to search the the house, having all died before they found what they were looking for.
Speaker: One of the spirits is missing its feet, another its head, a third its left leg is nowhere to be seen.
Speaker: he gets into finding something hey guys good to see you fellas oh my gosh wow ah you guys are you guys seeing this oh my wow look at these yeah look at these guys it's it's okay Look what I found!
Speaker: Oh! I found my shield! gee isn't that great? Yay! Okay boys, we gotta get him out of here. um Oh, you got potions of healing too. Nice! um I mean... Yeah, look what I found. Isn't this a nifty little a little drink drinky poo right here?
Speaker: I don't think it's gonna help with exhaustion, so don't drink it. Can you put in your backpack and we'll get you out of here? If you say so. And I put in my backpack. Boys, I... i think we gotta keep scanning these rooms, because there may be more here, but don't just open anything.
Speaker: If you've learned anything, don't open stuff. without I think I'm gonna go to this middle room up here and open up whatever's on the left. oh my God.
Speaker: Ignoring Kylie completely, Agent Rob has stepped into the anteroom on the far east. Oh yeah.
Speaker: Outstanding. You step into a room choked with cobwebs. A suit of armor stands at attention in the corner of the room, facing a rack of weapons gathering dust on the north wall, and a cabinet stands closed in the northwest corner.
Speaker: You open that cabinet, Robert, and a giant spider unfolds as it lances onto you.
Speaker: With all of the teeth it can, with a surprising 11. So yes, this thing fails to bite you. It does not find purchase with its teeth.
Speaker: However, can you please give us a new initiative roll as you and the spider are alone in the room as it is going to attack you again as soon as it can.
Speaker: Did you did it? Did Robert make noise or did the spider make noise? Did we hear any of this go down as we're ah attending to a very inexhausted Agent Nick?
Speaker: Well, that's just the thing. Spiders are just ever so quiet. So I'm afraid not. Robert, this thing is going to attack you at the top of the action round, seeing as we rolled a lovely dirty 20.
Speaker: As it is going to... Outstanding. Okay. Beautiful. It is going to try and bite you again with a dirty 20 this time.
Speaker: yeah It lands on top of you and...
Speaker: Sinks in, ah leaving you with piercing and poison damage. Can you please give us a constitution saving throw?
Speaker: 24. 24. Outstanding. Okay, so the poison damage is minimized as you only deal with the piercing damage, taking seven points from a nasty bite as the spider is now just draped across your shoulders.
Speaker: ah You got a giant honking spider on you, sir, that is twice the size of you. what are you doing?
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Okay, okay. I will use to... Is it on my shoulder? It is on you. I will try to plunge my longsword through it.
Speaker: Beautiful. anyone 21. That's a lovely hit. I'll roll for the damage. Nine. And then can use my second action to try to do that again? Beautiful. That is a miss.
Speaker: So right you land like you stab upward and you hear a chitter as it drips black fluid down on you, squealing with pain.
Speaker: Chandler, as you are out of the meeting room down in the center, the the southeast corner, I believe you would have heard the spider squealing in pain as Robert withdraws his sword and fails to strike it a second time.
Speaker: The spider is going to try and bite you again, Robert. And fail as it tumbles to the ground and like tries to get its positioning for its next strike. The turn is yours.
Speaker: Whatcha doing? I'm gonna yell, finally, a worthy opponent before my attack. Hoping to alert the others, but not necessarily caring if they help me or not.
Speaker: Oh my gosh. and we learned nothing from the DEAD handbook. We've learned nothing. 16. 16 is going to hit.
Speaker: Perfect. Okay, that'll be 6 damage on the first slash. And I'll roll to attack again. 11. That is a miss. All right. We'll take first set of damage there. Okay.
Speaker: It spits and webbing ah misses you entirely and instead paints the weapons rack immediately to your left.
Speaker: Okay. Oh, no. Is the cabinet in front of me that I opened, is it still open? Can I see anything else in there? Sadly, all that is in there are a collection of dead vermin that the spider has heretofore snacked on.
Speaker: There was basically only room for it to be folded up before it emerged. Gotcha. It is your turn again, as it missed with its weapon. You know the drill. 13.
Speaker: 13 is going to miss. a Okay. Roll to attack again. 26. 26 is a lovely hit. Yeah, good job. Jeez Louise. We're just hearing yelling and scouting voices. Can paint us a picture as you slaughter this giant spider in the room, this large spider in the room?
Speaker: Oh yes, of course. I'm not very fond of spiders. I've been looking for a worthy opponent this whole time, so I will raise my sword two hands over the head and plunge it down straight but into its eyes.
Speaker: That's right! Give us a performance check if you'd be so kind. 19. Oh, outstanding. That's what we like to see.
Speaker: All right, stand by. Wonderful. Okay, so with that slaughter, the spider in a stroke and the walls and ceiling around you fade as you can see Heil Vox materializing up above as he says, Ladies and gentlemen, the first significant kill of the day. Give it up for Robert the Spider Slayer.
Speaker: as the entire crowd is on their feet. They hate spiders every bit as much as you do. As you are seeing this, the Ardram twins, the sisters are standing in their box high above watching and one of them is clapping politely. turns to the others like, was that good?
Speaker: That looked good. Wasn't that good? That was good. Yes. As they are clapping and the other one D'Lo finishes off a little script and rips it off of a scroll and it rolls up and folds into a paper dragonfly that flies down from her hands and passes magically right through the wall to land in your hands. first things first, you are going to regain your full health because it is not even 19 points to go.
Speaker: Let's go. Let's go. Take that, Agent Kiley! That's what we do here. The dragonfly unfolds in your hands, um and the paper written in this highly elegant cursive reads, We're not fans of spiders ourselves.
Speaker: Keep up the good work.
Speaker: Huzzah! With that, as the paper unfolds, you also receive an item. So, yes. You suddenly feel heavier.
Speaker: As you look down and realize that your chain mail has been returned to you as it melts into place across your shoulders and your AC goes up significantly because that was a 19 and they want to see you do more of that.
Speaker: How does it feel to be congratulated by the sponsors and be getting this adulation from the crowds? Oh, Robert the Spider Slayer. I feel on fire. I feel as its ah as if I am leading the mission as I typically do for the DEAD.
Speaker: who This is what happens when you take the initiative and don't listen to Agent Kylie, who cowers in fear in the other room. Outstanding.
Speaker: Outstanding. Excuse i Over your shoulder. hear that um As the webbing starts to disintegrate on the weapons rack, you see that it holds a spear, a hand crossbow, a long sword, and a hand axe.
Speaker: ah Arrives with a quiver of 20 bolts. Are you taking any? I was going to say probably the long sword, but I was going to say, are we able to see if there's Anything special about them? Like, would i have to maybe roll an arcana to see if any of them are magical?
Speaker: You can give an arcana check. or You can't tell shit. They look like perfectly mundane weapons. Okay. Well, I will take the longsword anyway, and I will call the others.
Speaker: Oi! Weapons in here! You already have a longsword, sir. Yeah, but this it's ah I can't carry too? I mean, you can, you can't you can only use one at a time, but sure, go it. just don't know if there's actually anything different about this one or if I just couldn't tell because rolled poorly.
Speaker: Okay. I meander over to the entrance. You hollered. Yeah, I was taking care of business as the audience saw. Weapons, m'lady. I was taking care of our teammates and I will take the hand act. Thank you very much.
Speaker: Hey, where you guys going? Oh, yeah. This is kind of... I'm carrying... i carry Nick out of there and over to where Robert and Kylie are.
Speaker: Agent CB! Agent CB! Left Nick back. Hey, buddy! i'm like Yeah, that's... Hey, buddy. That's where That's where my get up. Stop... Yeah....balling around. Bring... Hey.
Speaker: Bring Agent Nick over here. Hey, me. Hey, CB. Come here. Come here. You're a beautiful again man. I want you to know that. don't Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. You're a beautiful man. I could just like reach my hand out and kind of caress his cheek.
Speaker: So beautiful. boy. Kylie, Nick's hitting on me again. This is an HR issue. um i Not my department. Hey, it's okay. It's okay. long Don't worry about the ski lift. It's all kosher, buddy.
Speaker: Can I? practice that spell on him I was gonna say I can do that too. Unless you would like to. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey how's it going good to see oh boy um let's see i know everything i have is either goingnna hurt him or i got it you can command him no no i was going to ask if i could cast lesser restoration
Speaker: It can end a disease or condition.
Speaker: Is anyone else working up a sweat in here? yeah yeah Unfortunately, Lesser Restoration cannot cover exhaustion. That is something he is going to have to sleep off.
Speaker: ah ah yeah Guys, I feel like I need a nap. I need a nap. I'm so bad. so bad Agent CB and Robert, you look around you and feel just the stale air of this place as other rooms sit unaddressed. What do you guys feel like? Oh, now that I know people have been finding stuff in other rooms, I got to explore some other room.
Speaker: I head toward this far left room because it's not been addressed. I say, okay all right, guys, we go in and out of every room and then head up. We have places to be monsters to kill.
Speaker: And I would like to investigate or perceive upon entering this room. Good call, Kylie. Let's split up. No, move there, but I won't go in. I'll just stand by. a body lay under a sheet on the bed, lying still beneath a canopy of dust.
Speaker: A chest sits in the corner, untouched near a table with an inkwell and quill pen. The body's eyes and tongue have been removed.
Speaker: Okay, and I see a chest, and I would like to investigate that chest. Give us an investigation check, Sivaplay. I can do that.
Speaker: That's a four plus two, six. You find nothing dangerous on, around or above the chest. Well, maybe I should open it.
Speaker: I look around to see have any sort of backup first. Go for it. I see Rob through the doorway. I convinced Nick to down. I'm by the door, but I'm not i'm not going in.
Speaker: Rob, get in here. I'm your manager. Come on. If it's bad, then we'll be in it together. You throw open the chest and inside you find a small box of five delicious pastries, a scroll for lightning resistance, good for 10 minutes and a shield.
Speaker: Look at goodies. um right You know what? Bring Agent Nick in here. There's food. Maybe we can sustain him.
Speaker: Or not. I'll eat. I'll go grab him. I did definitely try to convince Nick to go to split up and go down to the bottom left. A pastry.
Speaker: Okay. Kylie, you eat one of the delicious pastries and regain five points of health. Oh my gosh, these pastries are so good, guys.
Speaker: um if anyone wants any, I'll bring them with me. Do they all look the same are there any distinguishing factors between them? They all look identical. Yum. Okay, I stick them in my bag and I grab the scroll of lightning resistance.
Speaker: That's pretty cool. and ah And yeah, and I don't really have use for a shield. Okay. So Agent CB and Nick.
Speaker: You step into the room at the southwest corner of the floor And in that room, ah you see a spirit of a ah girl, roughly 15, 14 years old, um sitting before on her on the table are a tea service she cannot touch as her hands are nowhere in sight.
Speaker: And she looks at you and says, Don't touch my things. Am I still poisoned and woozy? Yes. Okay. You are exhausted. You have one level of exhaustion.
Speaker: open my eyes. Straighten them open. Oh my gosh. CB, I think think I'm seeing things. yeah Yeah, go. Just go sit down and stare in the corner and then get up if I need your help.
Speaker: Just watch the door. Okay. The ghost with no hands says, don't touch my things. I'm not touching, but if you'd like, I could help you with your tea service.
Speaker: I can be your hands if you would like. Otherwise, these are your things. She straightens up a little bit and blinks at you and looks at the tea and then back at you. Really? If you would like? She smiles and it gets a little too wide for her face to be uncanny and a little disturbing. I try and pretend like I'm not...
Speaker: freaked out and I just I start to get closer but I don't touch anything and say I won't touch it unless you give me explicit permission she nods and says please sir will you pour me some tea I nod and I try and stay as as far from her as possible while pouring her some tea to the best of my knowledge You pour the tea and strangely enough, this pot that has clearly been sitting here for decades is steaming from the spout as you pour ah fresh piping hot chamomile tea into the cup and she just leans closer to it and that's good tea as she sits back and says,
Speaker: Please, sir, don't touch anything in this room. As she vanishes. but I could open things without touching them. What is in the room for me to not touch?
Speaker: You see a bed behind you that has collapsed with age. You see a sconce that glows despite the fact that it holds no candles. You see what you presume is the girl's body in the corner of the room where there are no hands to be found.
Speaker: And what looks like a large wardrobe or hope chest on the south on the south wall.
Speaker: A bed that looks good right now. I think I might just... try and lie down a little bit. Nope, Nick, stay where you are. I don't know, CB, looks so good. Wait, okay, you can... you can lay down, but first I need you to open this wardrobe, I can't figure it out. What?
Speaker: Make him open another thing. Wardrobe? and think there's i think there might be a and fresh pillow in there. That sounds nice, actually.
Speaker: you You've always been such a good friend to me, buddy. I'm always looking out for you, Nick. Uh, now, can you, is this the, is this the wardrobe? I, I'm from America, so I don't call things a wardrobe.
Speaker: Is this it? It's, it's, yeah, I think so. right, all right, whatever, whatever you want. Whatever you want, friend. Whatever you want, buddy. I am on standby in case anything jumps out.
Speaker: Okay, you open it, and a swarm of crawling jumps out and attacks Agent Nick ah for touching its things as it is going to claw at you.
Speaker: That is a 16. That is, I think, going to miss courtesy of your shield. However, there are two. This thing is jam packed with severed hands that our crawl right out.
Speaker: And both of them are going to attack Nick as a 21. Oh my gosh. As the first one, as the first just run and spill over you, the second one, just a flurry of fists like-
Speaker: bandy you about the face for 19 points of bludgeoning damage.
Speaker: CB, do you currently have DM's inspiration? I do. You no longer have DM's inspiration for deliberately luring an ally of yours into harm's way. Hey, it's called letting my tank tank so that I can do what I need to do.
Speaker: Okay. Can I please, from the four of you, I guess, have a fresh round of initiative rolls as you done started it. You go and finish it. Do we hear them yell?
Speaker: You are in the far side of the house. Okay. Yeah, you're right. I don't hear. Good luck, Phoebe. That scratch felt real. Oh, my gosh.
Speaker: Okay. So because of your exhaustion, Nick is at a 17. The swarms are at 20. And CB is at 19. Okay.
Speaker: Don't need two of them. One will be just fine. As they spill across the floor, the second one is going to head towards CB as the girl rematerializes over your shoulder and says, I said not to touch my face!
Speaker: I didn't. I'm sorry. you told me there was a pillow in here. i was just looking for a good nap. Ugh. Okay. are you Are you real?
Speaker: Did we hear that scream? Oh my yes, that was enough to rattle the the rafters. Alright, at the top of the round, the enemies are going, which consists of one angry ghost and a bunch of pissed off hands.
Speaker: Starting with the ghost, it is going to assail you with wrists with no so hands at the end of them. as So it reaches out for you with these empty trailing sleeves and caresses your chest with ice.
Speaker: Can you please?
Speaker: That is a 22 as you take 17 points of necrotic damage as this cold lances through your lungs. Yes, Agent CB.
Speaker: As just yeah as the icy pain lances through you. The second pair of hands is going to crawl towards you as the other one is just fine staying with Agent Nick. That is a 17 as you are, you're not really flanked, so it's an 11, that's fine.
Speaker: As the second group of hands is going, sticking around from Nick, for an 18, which still misses courtesy of your shield of like, pan pank, pank, pank, as they pummel themselves against your shield.
Speaker: That brings us to Agent CB. What are you doing? So going to leave my knife in its sheath for this one because I have learned from the DEAD the art of magic hands.
Speaker: And by magic hands, I mean key hands. And so I'm just going to... You know, it's it's it's the style, it's intentional, it doesn't look that cool. It kind of looks like I'm slap fighting her away, like a little scaredy cat, but that's just that's the technique I learned. Are you going to slap a little girl right now?
Speaker: This is a ghost. She could be eons old. So she has the ghostal body of a girl. A little girl. you So that's a 12 to hit.
Speaker: That is a hit. And 12 to hit. Wow. That is a hit. And then I am going to flurry of blows. Disrespectful.
Speaker: Okay, that's a nine to hit. These dice do not like that i that I left. And then a 27 to hit. Wait, that's a crit. Wonderful. On that last one. You punched the spirit so hard. Is that bludgeoning damage?
Speaker: Yes, it is considered magical. Outstanding! Okay, stand by. We have a chart for this. courtesy of Maxwell's Manual of mal of Malicious Maladies, an absolute corker of a homebrew. So that's three.
Speaker: Okay, you break the ghost's nose. You punch the spirit so hard you hear a spectral crunch and her nose is bent out of shape as she screams outrage in your face of just...
Speaker: as ear splitting tinnitus pierces your ears. Incredible. All right what's the damage on that unarmed strike, please? And we're gonna double it as a crit. Okay, so let me do the first two damage first. So that's six for the first slap, seven for the second slap, and the crit was a seven.
Speaker: Doubled as 14, so that's a total of 14, 21, 27. Beautiful. Ouch. Okay. And I will not run away for the sake of protecting my dear friend, Nick. You hit her so hard, ah puddles of ectoplasm start dripping from her form and just... You have bloodied a ghost.
Speaker: um my gosh. Agent Nick, you're up. I am apologizing the whole time I do this. Also, by the way for for clarification is CB within five feet of me.
Speaker: No, he is ten feet away. OK. To help out my good friend CB here, who would never betray me. I will back up just a little bit so he is within five feet of me. So just go right here. Would that be close enough?
Speaker: There go. Alright. And then I just look over at CB and I go, don't worry buddy. your're good Your good pal Nick is here to help. DAD rule 19.
Speaker: Always fight in pairs. And then I take my hand axe and I strike it down at the hand that's closest to CB. Okay, that's to your left.
Speaker: To your west. Yep. Yes, yes, yes. Alright. That's a hit. One for the first. Second strike. That's a hit. nineteen And third strike. That is a hit.
Speaker: Oh my gosh. Nice. I'm a master of the drunken fist. Actually, hang on a second. We're subtracting two from each of these. So that becomes 19, a 17, and a 13. all still hit. Okay.
Speaker: ah they all still hit Perfect. All right. First slashing damage is six. Second is eight. And last one is ten. Beautiful.
Speaker: You have successfully chopped almost half of the hands in the the swarm to your west into half. They're just like loose fingers that just fall or a palm that's been sliced in half as you're like, get away.
Speaker: easy Wonderful. Wonderful. Okay. Can I move 30 feet in the direction after I hear a scream? I know I'm- Yes, you can.
Speaker: But I'm gonna- Yes, you can. Yeah, I was gonna say, can move closer? all right, I'm right outside the doorway of the room I was in now, so. Okay. Robert, would you also like to- ah Yeah. Raise 30 feet closer.
Speaker: ah just hear a scream and it sounds like a little girl, which is very bizarre because I'm in a house full of boys. Mm-hmm. I think it sounds similar to both Nick or I when we see too many scary things. Yeah.
Speaker: Just depends. Different scenarios. So you just, you don't know. Could be me or him. Or the ghost that you just broke the nose of that I'm not aware of. Yeah, but you're not aware of the ghost. She was asking for it, Kylie. She nubbed me.
Speaker: Unbelievable. Okay. At the start of the next round, Robert can join with the initiative rolls. Now it's the baddies' turn. Okay. So... Chandler, so can you please give us a charisma saving throw?
Speaker: I can certainly try. oh that's a five. All right. So the ghost vanishes as she possesses you. That sounds about right.
Speaker: And you immediately feel the pain of your nose. You are incapacitated and lose the control of your own body. The ghost now controls you.
Speaker: Nick, I'm so sorry. I am about to actually kill you. and Yeah. Okay. So it is going to go on your turn for ah convenience.
Speaker: which is going to be just as soon as the swarming claws gang up on Nick. gosh. They are going to flank you, which is going to give them advantage on this. i am sorry in advance.
Speaker: That's all good. and as say seventeen And as a 17 and 14, neither of those hit. And then there's Chandler. I'm so scared for both of you right now. So from a visual perspective, let's imagine that Chandler goes a little pale as a bead of black fluid from the broken nose drips down one of your nostrils.
Speaker: as it looks down at the hands it now has control of and didn't have ah second ago. So the first thing it's going to do is turn to Nick, who is flanked and is going to flurry of blows upon him. ah who Whoa, CB, what's going on? Oh, oh my gosh.
Speaker: Does that still use my key? And that is a nat one. Okay, so two things happen back to back.
Speaker: So the second flurry of blows actually hit for a total of five points on your person. Okay. As it takes out the dagger and is going to stab you or attempt to stab you. i tell you.
Speaker: Oh my gosh, Stevie, what's going on, man? I hurt, I kind of stung a bit. 16. Even while I'm stabbing you, you have the utmost faith in me. 17. Neither of those hit because of your shield.
Speaker: After the con punch in the back of the head, you turn as your friend slashes clumsily with a dagger at you and says nothing. ah Agent Nick, what are you doing? oh I'm a little shocked to see me here. Hey man, what's going on? whos What was with that blow there? And i I don't understand at all why he's doing that, but I just assume because he's my my partner.
Speaker: There must not be anything going on. It might have just been a mistake. And I just go continue after the hands. So you're a good egg. So I'm going to go ahead and hand axe the one swarm of hands from before.
Speaker: 12 from the first, 16 on the second. Okay, so 12 becomes 10 and becomes The hits and the hits.
Speaker: So the first is a six. Mm-hmm. And second is a four. And I'm going to use... I see an eight here for a total of 14. Oh, sorry, sorry. Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker: That's my bad.
Speaker: And then gonna use an action surge who because I have that. And take one additional action. So I'll do one more a axe swipe.
Speaker: Okay. Does that, before I target the first set of hands, is without set of hands be dead by now or no? the They have been bloodied and you have chopped up more than half of the swarm. Okay.
Speaker: there's still more to go. So I will go ahead and one more axe hit. oh Oh, well. Oh, well. That's mess.
Speaker: Okay. Okay. It is what it is. It is what it is. The swarm of crawling hands, the swarm of claws is going to continue to belludgeon you about the face. First things first, Robert, can you please give us an initiative roll as you are approaching close enough to ah interact?
Speaker: That is a three. Okay. Three. That's just dandy. Okay. Robert has a three. And ah the swarm's gonna go first. They are still attacking Nick because he is the one that is here.
Speaker: First with less than half, that is a hit. And the second one, which has more, is a hit. Because again, they are advantage because you swarmed. Okay, so this is going to be 12 and 19 all told.
Speaker: Can you please give us a strength saving throw? Yes, 17. seventeen Okay, you are still on your feet. However, you have been beaten bloody by the fists that are just punching and hammering you back and forth.
Speaker: As Agent CB goes 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, and looks around and spots Robert and points into the room and says, our friend needs help.
Speaker: and is holding its action. ah Agent Nick, you are now standing alone in the room with a duo of, one has been chopped to messes and the other one is, cunt, cunt, cunt.
Speaker: Oh, before we forget, Kylie, can you move yourself another 30 feet closer? Yes, I can. And I measured it out, so it should be right about there. So you still can't see me, but I'm coming.
Speaker: You can hear, you hear Agent Chandler say, our friend needs help. Oh. That sounds... Is it like emotionless like that?
Speaker: oh gosh.
Speaker: Okay. I don't like that at all. Alright, so my turn then? Mm-hmm. Okay. Going for the good old hand axe again. First strike. Not good. Second.
Speaker: Really good. Love that one. That's a hit. That is also a hit. Even with even minus two for exhaustion. Alright, so with the two hits we get five and a ten.
Speaker: Paint us a picture as you discorporate and dismember one of the swarms of hands to absolute messes. i chop it up and as the pieces all start to fall apart, I look over and turn towards the other set and I say, can I offer you a hand?
Speaker: ah ah Give us a performance check you'd be so kind. Let's see. This will be minus two as well. Okay. Okay. Let's see. So eight total.
Speaker: Yeah. um The crowd boos when they hear the pun as Heil Vox materializes overhead and says, Hey, leave the jokes to the professionals, kid.
Speaker: As he vanishes, giving you no assistance whatsoever. Robert, it is your turn and the bad things are after you. What's Robert doing? Can I maybe roll perception?
Speaker: Or can I just by looking at agency c B, see if there's something different about him Like, can I tell that he's possessed? You could give us an insight check at disadvantage because he's your friend.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: He looks fine. He looks easy. He sounds like himself you. Second roll is actually worse. A six and a five. Our friend needs help. Okay.
Speaker: Okay. What do I do here? Okay. Can I? We have tinted your token blue for just a little added ghostly flare. I guess I will just
Speaker: ah closer. Okay. I'll move. guess I can move here. and say, let's help him then. Good idea. i'll just end my turn there. Okay.
Speaker: She is going to try and stab you. ah That is an 18. Yeah, meets beats. As your friend suddenly ah lances and stabs you in the stomach for seven points of piercing damage.
Speaker: ah You look in his eyes and see a, there is just that slightest glassiness of the pupils as he is going to try and shove you.
Speaker: This is going to be contested. ah So I'm going to give an unarmed strike and I would like you to give a strength save and we'll see how it goes. Okay. 19. nineteen Beautiful. Okay. That is a 12.
Speaker: Okay. Excellent. um Your friend ah stabs you in the chest and immediately tries to shove you and it does not take. ah The swarm is up. Okay.
Speaker: Can I move 34 feet? You can. And please roll to give us your initiative. All right. Guess who's back?
Speaker: All right. My initiative is going 19 4, 23. Sick. Ooh, there we go. Okay. All right. Agent Kylie, you come around just in time to see, um, uh, Chandler withdraw their dagger from the chest of, uh,
Speaker: Robert, and then try and shove him against the banister to tip him over onto the first floor and fail. he do you do? Well, good thing I'm a cleric too, and I can see that something is wrong.
Speaker: um So I am going to flash my holy symbol and seer undead.
Speaker: That is going to be a constitution saving throw of 12. And if it fails, it's going to take 1d8 radiant damage. So I'm going to use my channel... Well, that's bummer.
Speaker: But at least we know you're a ghost. I do have a second action. So I am going to... Oh, you know, friend, um i I know i i can't Guiding Bolt you. because Will that hurt the physical body as well as the spiritual?
Speaker: It will hit only the physical body. Cool, cool. So I don't want to do that. You don't know that. Give me an Arcana check and you might know that. Okay, I will give you an Arcana check before I determine if that's a good idea.
Speaker: Let's see.
Speaker: That's a crit fail. Seems like a great idea. Yikes. ah Seems like a great idea to blast your friend. Well, good thing it's late on Chandler's Eastern time over there, because I may just kill him. um So, you know, in the moment, we're a really messy party, guys. um I think it's a great idea to cast Guiding Bolt.
Speaker: And thankfully, miss. um because that would have been only a seven. um But i do a Guiding Bolt does like, joink, lash out, um and I will use this to be like, joink, go past him. And um I am not gonna use bonus action. That will be it for me as I've awkwardly joined this combat in the messiest way possible.
Speaker: Where are you joinking? Um, well, I missed. So I imagine that it could just go. Oh, it wasn't a crit fail either. um Just, you know, bounce off the wall.
Speaker: Yeah. Okay. You were talking about the action. not I thought you were talking about where you're going to move next. Thank you for clarifying. Yeah, I meant my guiding bolt. I'm using the measuring tool to show that she got you really messed up there a little bit.
Speaker: little bit. little bit. That's a 21 for the claws that are hitting the bad punster. um Can you please give us a strength saving throw as you are bludgeoned about the head and face. You are bleeding badly. You are you have a level of exhaustion and undead corpse-like hands are doing everything they can to beat you senseless.
Speaker: What is going through Nick in this moment? Gosh, it would be bad if the guy you tried to save died on this mission.
Speaker: Um, let's go through my head. It would be bad! oh What? Okay. I think to myself, well, at least ah I'll get to see, at least I got to see my friends one more time, but I can't stop here.
Speaker: Can't stop. Gotta, gotta keep. Oh, I'm so tired. Okay. But I gotta of keep fighting. Chandler it takes the dagger and is going to make another strike at Robert with that dudada dagger. That is a 12, which I believe is going to misky. I'm so glad I'm yeah bad. It does. As he once again is going to try and shove you 10 feet back. Can you please give us another contested strength as he is pushing you with all of his might. Is that a strength saving throw? Correct. 14. Okay. Once again, you succeed. Robert, it is your turn. Retroactively, what would you like to do?
Speaker: Oh, okay. You probably um have the perfect spell here, Rob. I'm realizing that something is wrong.
Speaker: If I had a spell that could actually do something, things i would use it. You do. You do. you do Do I actually? Yeah, yeah. Like, you if you've got Turn Undead, you can absolutely use Turn Undead.
Speaker: No, he's got the perfect spell. Guidance. look Bless. I want to give him anything that would be cool. Agent CB, can you make sign language to drop off?
Speaker: It's a protection from people in... Fight for control. Agent CB, fight for control. get a message out there. You can't be possessed if you're protected from... Well, it's only I looked at that. it if the target is already Charm Frightener possessed, you have an advantage on a saving throw against the relevant effect.
Speaker: So then it's only if I would have cast it on you before it tried to possess you. There's got to be there's gotta be something there. I mean, it has advantage on the saving throw. That's all. You can still try it.
Speaker: I haven't had a chance to make any saving throws against it. since. That's true. So maybe, maybe then i was wrong. i didn't read far enough into that. It just seems like it would be the perfect fit. Nevermind. Spoken like someone who's truly possessed.
Speaker: I've been in on this the whole time. After seeing my friend attack me, I'm going to be shocked, but react quickly and try to hit him back.
Speaker: I love it. 19.
Speaker: Uh, 19 hits Robert's AC, er, Chandler's AC. And can I divine smite that? You can. Just for the radiant.
Speaker: Um, and it's... okay. We find that. i'm not gonna lie, this is not how I thought the rescue mission was going to go. You don't say. i don't think any of us saw that coming, Kylie.
Speaker: Okay, so I guess I just rolled the damage first and then add the Divine Smite after. Mm-hmm. Seven.
Speaker: Divine Smite, 2d8, extra radiant damage, plus 1d8 against undead. Is he considered undead as well, because he's possessed?
Speaker: Okay. So it'll be 3d8. Nine with the first 2d8. I'll add an extra d8 on top of that. So another four. Okay.
Speaker: 21 I believe ouch I was just hoping the radiant damage would do something It did something it really hurt your friend to the coast Okay agent Nick it is your turn and then it is Robert's again because we accidentally skipped you once Agent Nick you are prone on the ground heavily bleeding and exhausted as Hands crawl over you trying to slash and pummel you about the person.
Speaker: What what are you doing Alright, well, first thing i have to do is get back up, right? Half your movement. I'm going to get back up and I go, I can't end things here.
Speaker: Not all my friends depend on me. And I get back up and then the the hands are on me. said they are They are swarming around you. Okay, so I'm not using my hacks on these things.
Speaker: Alright.
Speaker: Instead, what I'm going to do...
Speaker: is I guess I will grapple with the hands. I guess that makes the most sense. I don't know. I'm trying to think like, what do I do with hands that are swarming around me? Do I punch, try and punch myself? I mean, you could hack at them. They are like down around the floor and some of them are grabbing you.
Speaker: Okay. i I'll hack at This is deeply unpleasant. i know You're telling me all right 17 15 hits 15 18 that one is an 18 The last one 19 all three hit All right, so we're looking at five another five 14 9 14 23 beautiful
Speaker: fourteen twenty three beautiful yeah Once again, you have reduced almost half of these monsters to bits. ah Really well done.
Speaker: ah That's what we love to see. Robert, it is your turn. What you doing, Rob? I guess I will now cast Protection from Evo. I guess he has a chance to no longer be possessed.
Speaker: Okay. this saving throw on And what is the DC to beat? I don't think it says there is one. It's your casting DC.
Speaker: Oh, okay. 16. Okay, so we have to meet or beat a 16 with an 18. Great. yeah Chandler kisses in front of you.
Speaker: as his broken nose continues to bleed. Well, that's really all I can do there. Okay. Kylie, you have just, so you have tried to repel the undead. You've watched Robert try to protect from the dead and neither have worked. What is going through you as you watch your friend hiss at Robert?
Speaker: As a friend, I'm horrified. As a manager, I'm more horrified. Because not only am I going to lose two of my employees possibly on this mission,
Speaker: One them is currently possessed, I don't know where the other one is and there um So I'm overwhelmed and I'm like, well, I shouldn't use my divine powers against my teammate. So I get out my crossbow ah and then I'm going to also get my spiritual weapon out too and see if that can help Nick.
Speaker: But... but my My first move is I am going to move a little bit closer. I'm going to try to get kind of behind him so I can get an idea of what's happening.
Speaker: on And then I'm going to try to crossbow him, shoot him with my crossbow from behind. and Chandler, you are in the backseat of this experience, unable to do or say anything outside of your head.
Speaker: As your body is racked with chills and pains, what is going through you other than the Handless Ghost? I think I'm just feeling a little a little guilty for using Nick as a punching bag.
Speaker: this is my This is my timeout time to say, there might be a lesson here. 3020. thirty twenty It may have seemed funny in the moment, but- Dirty 20 hits your friend in the back. Nicely done.
Speaker: um And eight damage. I'm also going to cast Spiritual Weapon and see if I can um use my Spiritual Weapon to go aid Nick since he is, that range is 60 feet.
Speaker: i So my spiritual weapon today I imagine will take the form of, in honor of Nick, some sort of hand axe. um So my spiritual weapon heads in there
Speaker: and misses with its first strike. It gets a seven. That sucks. Also, you can't see what is happening on the far side of the door. So I'm going to say you're at a minus two on the swinging around at things you cannot actually visualize.
Speaker: Yeah, that's fair. That's completely fair. And I do have two actions per turn. So for of my next actual action, golly, you guys, we really got ourselves into a mess, didn't we? This is entirely of Chandler's doing.
Speaker: entirely of jaler's doing thank you for giving me credit where credit is due I'm going to use the crossbow into his back one more time. But I miss that time with a 10. and Okay. Yeah. Sadly, that is not even close enough to risk hitting Rob.
Speaker: Darn. um Okay. So the swarm of hands ah is still going to be pummeling. We're attempting to pummel Nick in the next room. Oh my gosh.
Speaker: Nick, I can revivify you, don't worry. oh no. Oh, that's a critical hit. No! It's not okay. It's not okay, Kylie. So you hear a crunch from the other room and a crack as Nick is taken down for the count with a critical hit.
Speaker: the damage was already more than you had left. And as a crit, that damage doubles. Oh no.
Speaker: So, We're going to make this an automatic failure on your, on the first of three death saves. As you are fighting these things on the other side of the room and they crawl and they crawl and they slash and scratch and hit a vein.
Speaker: And suddenly it just starts spilling out onto the floor, painting the chest. um as the words of the ghost saying, don't touch my things, echoes in your ears, you hit the ground with a thud.
Speaker: So, Kylie, ah ah ah in the other room, uh-huh,
Speaker: You hear a gong, peel, as Heil Vox materializes overhead with one hand next to him and he says, that's one do I hear too.
Speaker: In the next room, the ghost hears this says, turns around with a nasty look at agent Kylie and goes five, 10, 15, 20, 25 feet into the next room.
Speaker: And Robert has an attack of opportunity. If you want to take it on the back of your friend. I'm not going to take it. Okay. So he, Chandler ah takes the crossbow bolt out of his own back and says, don't touch my things.
Speaker: And that is your second automatic fail with Agent Chandler's thing. Nick. Oh my gosh. It is your turn. You are still exhausted.
Speaker: Can you please make a death save for us? As overhead Heilvox shouts, that's two! Oh no.
Speaker: Here we go. Yes! You have one. Well done. Let's just get this down to...
Speaker: Alright, now if only someone would maybe, I don't know, grapple with the guy trying to beat me up. Robert, that's great. We got another floor to explore. Let's go upstairs.
Speaker: No, Robert, come on. We're good. I'll i'll help Nick. good Robert, you are up and Agent Kylie is after you. Robert, what you doing as your friend is pummeling a dead man? Nick, take care of Agent Kylie. Okay.
Speaker: I will move... Into the rooms to Agent CB. I'm really disappointed as DEAD agents we weren't trained in how to yeah have exorcisms.
Speaker: because that At least not effective ones. Wow, thanks! All you had to do was read the DEAD handbook. All you had to do was not touch someone's things.
Speaker: That's true. Oh boy. Okay. Whatcha doing, Robert? It's lie. i did touch their things. They gave me permission. Let's see. I'm going to write that on your tombstone if you die. Just so you know.
Speaker: you Can i Killed by companions. Cast it all command. It's a 16 wisdom save. Sure. and Yeah. Oh, thank God. Okay.
Speaker: Hang on a second. I tell a lie.
Speaker: So actually, no, I'm afraid not. As it is, it cannot be commanded at the present. Oh no. Yikes. What am supposed to do here? Six. Five. Grapple. Grapple. Four. All right, I'll grapple. I'll grapple I'll try to grapple. Give us an unarmed strike.
Speaker: Unarmed strike. 18. That works. You grapple Here we as he is straddled atop Nick's unconscious form, stabbing it with an arrow.
Speaker: From Kylie's crossbow. Yep. Yep. Yep. It's a clusterfuck, I will say. um We've gotten a little messy, guys.
Speaker: i Move the body, Agent with your grappling if possible so I can get in here and bring Nick back to life ideally. Looks like you got some room.
Speaker: Come on, Kayla, there's enough room for everyone in here. am i if I don't think it's my turn yet, though, so I don't want to... yeah i mean, Robert's grappled. No, my turn's done. Yeah, grapp Robert is grappling Chandler as he is atop of Nick.
Speaker: I, my first action, I'm gonna, you know, i have two actions. My first action, I'm gonna use my hand ax to just chop at any of the hands that are in the way as I'm coming into the room.
Speaker: me You boys make me clean up your mess. Looking at you, Agent Chandler. Kylie. um I'm bleeding out. Kylie, don't nat one.
Speaker: that's a 14. Don't crit fail. That's a 14. and Okay. Does that hit? 14 hits the hands. And that's three damage. So not great, but um I will also roll for my spiritual weapon, but I'm going to cast Revivify first because that seems more important. hu um So I am going to expend my Revivify spell slot and touch Nick's chest and bring him back to life.
Speaker: Hi, buddy. Hi, clear. You have so much for living And I'm gonna have roll do my spiritual weapon.
Speaker: um My sparkly hand axe is gonna take her turn. And that's a crit hit. On whom? On the hands, the remainder hands that were around him.
Speaker: And that's going to be 2d8. boop And that's double damage to 16. Beautiful. Okay. Three quarters easily. i would say ah five sixths of the hands have been obliterated as the little doobers left um are going to continue um as Chandler shouts, don't touch my things. ah Okay, so Nick, you have been revivified with one hit point.
Speaker: Now get out of here if you can. ah it's not his turn. Yeah, it's on my turn. Oh no! Also, I'll leave it with attack of opportunity. That's why I was going to wait to do that.
Speaker: Take care of the enemies first. Okay, so while you are still prone, attacks upon you have advantage. That is a 24. Don't worry, I can revivify him again. How many times you got that out of curiosity?
Speaker: um Well, it's a third level spell slot, so I have it one more time. Okay. Nick, you breathe. And the first breath you take in is corpsey as the smell of decay and rottenness. click onn um The remaining hands ah punch and like you hear something crack in your own collar as you get your head on the floorboards.
Speaker: um Okay. So seeing as how that's only 11 points of damage more than you had left, we're gonna give that to you. That's not an automatic fail.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Chandler, however, is grappled, not restrained. So he is once again going to try and stab you. ah Your corpse, I should say, because you are currently dead ah with the thing.
Speaker: And since you are dead, I don't, ah let me check this. You know what? I think it does still need to hit your AC, silly as that sounds. Cause he's not technically dead. He's not dead dead. He's just agent of dead dead.
Speaker: Yeah. He's mostly dead. There's plenty of stockpiles of Nick clones somewhere. Right. That's a 25. And that is going to be an automatic fail on your ah death save as it jabs you.
Speaker: And then it's going to drop the bolts and look down at these hands that can deliver a flurry of blows. Yikes. And it's gonna look at Kylie and glance over his head at
Speaker: Robert, who has him who has him grappling as he is going to again try and hit your dead friend. That is a 24. That is a 23. Oh my gosh. And there's nothing we can do about this. I have no reactions that can actually do anything.
Speaker: is it Those are flurry of blows and the the attack of his turn. Nick. The last thing you hear is a gong that peels out as you're unable to breathe, you're unable to move, you're unable to see.
Speaker: Your limbs become too heavy to even think about moving. What are Agent Nick's last thoughts in the Sladeon? My last thoughts? i I whisper some advice to to my friends. I go...
Speaker: Chamomile tea.
Speaker: Oh my good God. Oh wow. Okay. Stand by. That's that's that's that's amazing headache amazing. That's Nick mutters chamomile tea and goes still as agent Chandler.
Speaker: You look down and see your allies' blood on your hands. What is Agent Chandler feeling in this moment? Still possessed? Mm-hmm.
Speaker: uh i think at this point i am past guilt and into a seething level of frustration and anger that my body is being used against my will and that i can't and that i can't do anything to stop this even though i am right here e and that i should have been able to stop and i have been actively trying through sheer force of will to regain control of my body to no success.
Speaker: So I feel like i am streaming in an angry Super Saiyan level internally. As you burn with that rage,
Speaker: you hear a cruel laughter w ringing in your ears as a specter with no hands waves goodbye to you with an empty sleeve.
Speaker: She relinquishes control of you or will at the top of her next turn. um In the meantime, Agent Kiley, you are standing over your friend's corpse in the malignant mansion as crawling hands start to writhe your way.
Speaker: What is going through Kiley? First of all, do I think Agent CB is still possessed? You have seen nothing to change your mind. i mean, if I watch my friend die and I saw my other friend do it, I'm going to do two slices with my hand axe.
Speaker: Actually, i'm going to have my hand axe and my mace. I'm going to do the mace at CB. Mm-hmm. And the hand axe at the hands. Okay. Okay.
Speaker: So see the mace at CB is going to be a... um Because we're all so close together. That's... That's a nat 20.
Speaker: A d6 plus 2. That's a only 3 damage, so 6 damage total for the mace. And that is bludgeoning damage, yes?
Speaker: Yes, on CB. yeah And then I'm going to... One moment. We have to see what permanent damage has been done. ah Okay, so you have dislocated ah his shoulder. You hear a crack from Chandler as like now missing teeth and the eyes glistening black. Chandler just smiles at you and ah says, Mark.
Speaker: new As one of the arms is limp and dislocated. So i I turn my attention to... The... to Nick.
Speaker: I really want to revivify him and there's no point in doing that at this exact moment because... I have a minute to revivify? is good. We have time. Dead dead.
Speaker: Revivify is reviving a dead creature. Revivify is right reviving a dead person, but it's within a minute of them dying, which is what, six turns of combat? Ten rounds each round six seconds. Okay, will then go for the hands again um with my hand axe.
Speaker: That misses, but good thing I have my spiritual weapon armed too. My sparkly hand axe is gonna attempt to hit as well, and that is, I think that one does hit. Let me just pull up the spell slot. That's a 16 with the spiritual weapon. Does that hit?
Speaker: Hit what? The hands. The hands, yes it does. so um And that's 2d8 damage. So that's 12 damage. Okay.
Speaker: Paint us a picture as you make mashed potatoes of the rest of the hands. With my hand axe? um Honestly, because I had just been ah bent down and it had gotten up to...
Speaker: save Nick, I just throw myself to my knees and just slam the hand axe down over and over and over again just until there's nothing but blood and viscera all over me.
Speaker: he Trying to clear space for, to create space for my friend who is dead on the ground. Okay. She's enraged. She is enraged.
Speaker: Okay, well, the claws are dead. They are gone, gone. Chandler, You hear a a high-pitched laugh in both of your ears as the ghost emerges from you, seemingly content that it has watched you, forced you to kill one of your own, not aware that that Kylie can revivify him again.
Speaker: As a bonus action, it steps out of you and then is going to accost you That's crazy. CB, are you doing alright? Are you good? He is restra- he is grappled. You hear that low sort of- or you hear that full scream yell start really low as this ghost escapes my body.
Speaker: um And I eventually settle down when I realize that I am actually yelling. o And then I slowly lock eyes with this ghost and I ah just- a glare.
Speaker: Glare it down. Since you are grappled but not flanked, it does not have advantage on the attack on you. I see no reason for it to, much as the ghost might want you dead. There's nothing to justify having advantage on that roll.
Speaker: It is Agent Chandler's turn. You are grappled by your friend while you are straddling the corpse of your other friend. What is going through, Chandler? What are you doing?
Speaker: My guy. I think he is just focused on this thing. um So I've clocked, I've been able to see everything. So I clock that these hands have been taken out.
Speaker: I clock that Nick is down and dead, but I clock that Kylie is here. Not necessarily what she's going to do. but I know that her and Rob have a better chance of handling it than I do.
Speaker: So I think I try to pull free from this grapple and move forward. And I know it sounds, i'm going to try and I think he just tries to, it either is a few strikes or comes across as trying to tackle just with an if key fueled rage um to take this thing as as far as I can get it for now away from my people, um which is looking right now directly in line with where the chamomile tea is. And so I think I'm gonna try and go for a sort of shove, grab, move, strike.
Speaker: First, you will need to break free of Robert, and this is going to be at disadvantage because one of your shoulders is dislocated and is in blinding amounts of pain. You feel ground glass all over your shoulder blade. Sorry about that. roll with disadvantage. It's not going to be great because the first one's an 11, and then the second one's a 25, but an 11.
Speaker: You wriggle, but in this moment,
Speaker: Robert may not realize just yet that you are back in your own recognizance. You could give it a headbutt. Is it close enough for me to do a side headbutt?
Speaker: you Might as well. You know what? Let's go for it. Let's go for it. I'll unarm strike a headbutt with my broken jaw weird smile. Is that still with disadvantage?
Speaker: It doesn't involve your shoulders, so no. Okay, well that's a nat 20. I was hoping that would be the case. I was hoping that would be the case. Outstanding.
Speaker: Okay, roll damage on that bad boy. ah Man, it is a bummer that Monk, your unarmed strikes don't count as finesse weapons. but That's five, so ten total bludgeoning. For my skull.
Speaker: You wallop the ghost. And... It looks down on you with utter disgust. Robert, it's your turn, buddy. What are you doing? I'm going to ungrapple.
Speaker: Is that the terminology? I'm going to stop grappling ah and be like, you're back. Yeah. Welcome back.
Speaker: Sorry about that. You get nothing but a low growl. this I am like a uncaged animal just focused. Can I move behind?
Speaker: You can. It will take all of your movement because the bed difficult terrain because it's just junk in the way, but yes. Okay. I will roll to hit with my longsword. That's a hit.
Speaker: Okay. o I'm going to roll a second time for the second attack first and then I'll roll the damage. Another 18. Love to see him. All right. First set of damage. Eight.
Speaker: It's like, nice, seven, 15. fifteen Amazing. Okay. Are you doing anything else with your turn, Robert? As you slash and hack at this ghost. I'll just say, let's finish this. That's a rally cry. Beautiful. Kylie, you're on the vengeance.
Speaker: Okay. Hands are gone.
Speaker: not possessed anymore. That's good. Um...
Speaker: So much has gone wrong. If we could have... Everything went wrong that could have gone wrong in this room. um Yes. Yes.
Speaker: It's okay, Kylie. Never give up hope. As your corpse is speaking, I'm going to use my... I'm going to whip that out and shoot it at the spectral mofo who got us into this mess in the business first place. Um,
Speaker: Let's see, that is plus eight, that's an 18. That's a hit, curiously enough. Then plus four, that's nine damage. And I forgot that I have this cute little thing called a Colossus Slayer. Once per turn, when I hit a creature with a weapon attack, the creature takes an extra 1d8 damage if it's below its HP maximum.
Speaker: It is below its HP maximum. So that'll take an extra five damage. Paint picture. uh, some more damage with my crossbow bolt. Um, I honestly, I aim for the eye because that, like, black eyes that when Agent CB was staring at me with those, those will haunt my dreams.
Speaker: So this little girl who's bleeding everywhere, i aim for her eyes with my crossbow. and get her right in the right eye. explodes in a firework of ectoplasm and blue light that dwindles and dies to the scent of chamomile tea.
Speaker: um At least she smelled good when she died. Can you please give us a performance check as you are heaving and seething and your friend is dead on the ground?
Speaker: I'm heaving and seething, that's for sure. I am living. oh I roll a seven and it's probably because I'm really angry how this played out in this room.
Speaker: the goat the The crowd says nothing. None of it. Like, they're in rapt attention. And i like are too caught up in what is happening to cheer or boo.
Speaker: As they are all watching. And we leave action rounds because everything, including Nick, is dead. Can I revivify him with my last revivify? Nick, do you want to be revivified?
Speaker: you want to come back? agree. I'll gladly see. I will gladly come back if you revive me, Kylie. I touch his chest one more time and say, You gotta come back, buddy.
Speaker: We need you. This is why we're here. and I bring him back one more time. yeah ah After she casts that, can I cast Beacon of Hope?
Speaker: It's third level spell. Any number of creatures within range. Each target has advantage on wisdom. and death saving throws and regains the maximum number of hit points possible from any healing.
Speaker: So in the sense that I'm imagining we're about to heal everybody in here in my range of 30 feet. And then i know, Nick, you got a couple of potions of greater healing, right?
Speaker: I do. And off screen, you see me at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter has this book and he's like, welcome. And I go, not today. I dive into my body.
Speaker: It's hilarious that you think you went upstairs. You didn't call him a good egg earlier. You've killed a lot of things in this sladium in the last year. You're right.
Speaker: I looked at the devil, I looked him right in his dirty eyes, and I said, not today, Satan. Oh my god. hold both in both my hands, and I look at Agent CB.
Speaker: And I see that he looks tired. He looks bloodied and injured. and I just give him a look right now as if waiting for a response from him. And I extend one potion out to him.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: You and I both know I don't deserve that. But from the but from the bottom of my heart, my bad. I look at him and I say, it's OK.
Speaker: you didn't know no one would have guessed that would have happened and then i say d-e-a-t rule number one in the handbook a partner in the field is a partner for life and i hand him one of the potions so this display of earnest naivety, ah which flies in the face of what you know to be true.
Speaker: As he says, no one could have known that would have happened. What? How do you respond to this? I think I stopped for a second and I say, Nick, can you? I know I have no right to have earned your trust, but could you just do me a favor and cover your ears for 15 seconds? Just 15.
Speaker: a just fifteen Okay. And i turn i turn towards where I assume the the patrons are, and I look out and I speak as loudly as I can.
Speaker: Listen, I know the right thing is to be honest. I do not want to shatter his worldview. This is a man innocent, and I cannot ruin that.
Speaker: But I will, from this point forward, have his back. And I turn back to Nick. Heil Vox materializes overhead before Nick uncovers his ears and he says, oh, it gets you right here. And he points down where he has no heart because he is literally just a head and hands and gives Chandler a very skeptical look as he vanishes.
Speaker: Oh boy. ah Let's heal Chandler and let's get out of here. Yeah. Down the hatch? I go to cheers, Nick. ah Do a little hook arm chug. Unless he already took his potion. I am going to use the rest of my Leon hands and give Chandler the...
Speaker: 30 extra HP. 30? So yeah, so I handed you the other potion, and then make the gesture of like, hey, let's let's do the thing where you interlock arms and drink. That's what I said! the ri Are you sure you had your headphones out? Because I was doing the exact same thing. I'm very sure. I've had this planned in my mind. Amazing. For a while. We do say in that, and then... Bottoms up.
Speaker: And we both drink. I at least drink mine. assuming you drink yours at the same time. Yes, I fully do. I hope it's not poisoned. Kylie, do you have any other healing you want to give to Nick? I have bunch of pastries I grabbed from this other room, and they gave me HP back. Oh, yeah. Give those to him. I give... You give all those to him.
Speaker: I give... Some of them, at least. I give all four pastries to Nick. For performance, before i accept your kind and pastries, Kylie, I'd like to do a... I'd like to dap up Agent CB as one final gesture.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh. See if we can get Aurora... A heavenly dap. With a heavenly death. I hear a chorus of crickets. Yeah, I. We didn't even do it yet. Yeah, yeah. We had to the performance check. Okay, here. i I'll back up.
Speaker: Give you guys some space. With a further minus two, that is a two. Do I hear a chorus of crickets? can i carry Can I carry this death?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. cb Oh, okay. If it's a nat 20, it's not. It was a four plus five. It falls so short. yeah It's sad. ah Was there anything we else good in this wardrobe?
Speaker: No, don't look at anything. Let's go upstairs. got I eat all the pastries that Agent Kylie gave me, first off. Do you think that tea's still good?
Speaker: How many people are having the pastries for the health? Just me. Is that a yes for everybody? eat all the pastries. Who did you give them to, Kylie? I gave them to Nick.
Speaker: I ate one earlier to make sure they weren't poisoned. There may be weird side effects of the pastry, sorry. and It's okay. And then as a another action, I want to use my second wind to regain 11 HP. So it'll be 21, putting you at 42. Oh, that's right.
Speaker: It's healing, right? Mm-hmm. but you at forty two oh that's right there's a maxim ceiling right Okay. Bully. Cool, cool, cool. And do you share any of the pastries, or is Nick going to gobble them all down?
Speaker: i do give them to Nick. I'm a hungry, hungry boy. Actually, back from dead. give them to Nick. He came back from the dead twice. They're his. So you it take four pastries that each give you back five points of health.
Speaker: And because you ate four of them, You are going to be... oh Sorry about that. Like, if you've ever had too much sugar all at once, like, ooh, I've got a tummy ache. Like, you still get the health back. You are legit up to 62 and have stopped bleeding.
Speaker: But because of all that sugar in your system, you are going to be at a disadvantage for con saves instead of a day for a solid week because you ate four of them at once. That's okay.
Speaker: I'll take it Kylie's only going to be at disadvantage for con saves for the rest of the day. Yeah. Sorry. All right, team. Let's make our way upstairs.
Speaker: i don't want to find out if there's anything else down here. I'm not going to lie. So I haven't gotten to kill anything yet. You know what? You killed Nick. So are you proud of that? yeah yeah Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't me.
Speaker: This has been Narrative Feats, the actual play anthology. Tune in next time when we return with the crew of Survive This Crit to see how they fare in the malignant mansion.
Speaker: ah Thanks everyone for tuning in to this episode Survive This Crit with Narrative Thieves. Thank you to special guests Chandler and Robert and of course to our amazing DM Casey. Come back next week to see if we can survive or find our way out of this mansion.
Speaker: Toodles!
