Transcript
Speaker: Looking back on it, I wish I had addressed that. Maybe I could have taken more time for myself or not been so hard on myself. There were lots of moments in my career where I was just like, am I made for a ballet? Like, I always feel like I was hurting a lot more than the other dancers around me, or I was just so much more tired.
Speaker: Turns out I actually was a lot more tired than everyone. So I just want dancers to know to always listen to your body, speak up for yourself, and just trust your gut, really.
Speaker: I'm Caitlin, a former professional ballerina turned dance educator and career mentor. And this is the Brand New Ballerina podcast. I am here for the aspiring professional ballerina who wants to learn what it really takes to build a smart and sustainable career in the dance industry.
Speaker: I'm peeling back the curtain of professional dance world with open and honest conversations about the realities of becoming a professional dancer. Come along to gain the knowledge and inspiration you need succeed in a dance career on your terms.
Speaker: Hello and welcome to the Brainy Ballerina Podcast. I'm your host, Caitlin Sloan, and I am joined today by Ella Titus. Ella spent a decade dancing with Miami City Ballet before making the move to New York City and building a career as a freelance dancer.
Speaker: Since then, she's been working with a wide range of artists and organizations while also teaching Pilates and working in marketing. I wanted to have Ella on today because her career really challenges the idea that there's one path a professional career supposed to take. We're going to talk about her time at Miami City Ballet, why she eventually decided to leave, what freelancing in New York actually looks like, and the importance of building a life outside of ballet.
Speaker: We're also going to get into something I think is really important for dancers to hear, which is taking your health seriously and figuring out what a sustainable career actually looks like for you. So before we get into all of that, Ella, can you tell us why you took your very first dance class?
Speaker: Hi, everyone. Wow. Why took my first dance class is a very special answer. I actually went to see Miami City Ballet perform in the Nutcracker when I was probably like three, maybe two. and I kept telling my parents, I want to do that. i want to be the little girl the Nutcracker. And then eventually they put me in ballet and we're still doing it. So that's why.
Speaker: Did you train at Miami City Ballet growing up? So I'm from Clearwater, Florida, and I trained at some smaller studios there before eventually I ended up at the Miami City Ballet School, but that was only when I started high school. So more pre-professional is when I joined the school. But Miami City Ballet used to tour with their Nutcracker and use the students in George Valentino's Nutcracker from Clearwater area. So I kind of like got a sense to the company then. And, you know, I grew up through the rankings, Angel, all the way to Poly.
Speaker: So is that kind of your dream to one day join the company? i think it always was. I mean, that was clearly my dream when I was three or four and not that many people actually end up getting into their dream company. So I'm so lucky to be able to have, you know, actually done that path.
Speaker: What was the transition like from going to one of the smaller studios you had mentioned training at in Clearwater to training at the Miami City of Ballet School? think it was a lot more dancing.
Speaker: Throughout my middle school, I had a kind of a private teacher. She only took on a few small students and I only took with her two or three times a week in St. Pete, Florida. So, you know, I was balancing school. My parents to drive me there. So I really wasn't dancing that much for that age. And then by the time I got to Femme City Ballet School, you know, you were dancing every day, I think, besides Sunday.
Speaker: And then from there, what was your transition from being a pre-pro to being in the company? Like how did you find out that you had a contract? Okay, so I started as an apprentice when I was 16 years old. I think it was like at the end of my sophomore year of high school, the artistic director at the time, Lourdes Lopez, asked me to be an apprentice, which I think the apprentice kind of path of Miami State little bit different now. I think they're paid now. They might be utilized a bit more. At this point, we would just kind of do our regular school classes, and then we would be called to occasional rehearsals to be a cover. And sometimes we would get to perform. So once I was an apprentice, I stayed an apprentice for my junior and senior year of high school. And then by the end of my senior year, I was accepted into the company and with a full-time job, which is exciting in the Corps de Ballet, which a lot of people know me from the Strictly Ballet series. So they all got to see that live on YouTube.
Speaker: I don't know about that. What's that? Oh my goodness. I think that like bringing back up things from 10 years ago, but I feel like most of my Instagram following kind of came from this. It was a, at the time there weren't that many ballet TV shows of sorts. And there was a internet TV series that was filmed through Teen Vogue and Strictly Ballet season one where dancers at the School of American Ballet were trying to get into New york City Ballet. And then season two was dancers in Miami City Ballet School that were trying to get into Miami City Ballet. So if you go on YouTube and you search that, you can actually watch me get my contract in real life in the office, which is- Oh my gosh.
Speaker: yeah I love that. That's so cool. I had no idea. I remember watching like Breaking Point probably around that same time, but I didn't see that one So once you moved into the company, did it feel a lot different being a company member versus an apprentice or did it feel kind of like a very natural transition? you already knew what the deal was.
Speaker: I think it did feel like a natural transition. Obviously, it was nice to not have to be going to my public high school in between to kind of keep it all going. My first year at the company, I just focused on ballet only, really got my like footing in, tried to figure out you know how to pay the rent, how to do the laundry, all of those things. And then think my second year in the company, I started college classes at the same time. So I just like brought a little back of that school into my life. But I think it was an easy transition. I also knew everyone in the company. i grew up obviously watching the company, so I knew all the dancers. It was surreal to be in there, you know, with the Delgados and the iconic members of Miami City Ballet from that time period. So it was really nice to dance with everyone and it was what I had always wanted.
Speaker: What did you love most about your time at Miami City Ballet? Looking back on it all now that I've had like, i think a year and a half out of it to kind of sit and like think about my whole career. i'm really just thankful for all of the ballets I got to perform. And the repertoire, like I obviously love the Balanchine ballets. I love all of the Jerome Robbins ballets I performed in everything from West Side Story to The Cage. I think those are my favorite ballets. Actually looking back on it all, that's when I remember having like the most fun on stage, tapping into those different characters, I would say. So I was just really blessed to have all of those ballets to learn and perform. And i think a lot of them, I got to perform multiple times. Like I don't know how many times I've done Serenade. Probably too many. but yeah, it's like, you know, you get to kind of evolve and see how your life has changed throughout the years as you perform these ballets, which is really interesting to me.
Speaker: What did you learn during your time there, you know, during this evolution that you still carry with you today? That's a hard question. i mean, being in a ballet company is very challenging for many reasons, physically, mentally, all of the things that teaches you how to be a good person in life in general. You have to be organized. You have to be proactive. You have to be taking care of yourself. You have to be, you know, meal prepping the dinner so you have them at the theater. Just great life skills overall besides the ballet technique and learning all of that. Yeah, i'd kind of just, you know, i was there in the court of ballet for a decade. So, you know, it took me from childhood, really, i think being 18 isn't really an adult, um to being an adult and, you know, having...
Speaker: Life outside of ballet too is something that I learned was really important in that 10-year little section of my life. And then after a decade with Miami City of LA, you decided to move to New York to freelance. What made you decide that you were ready for that change? I think it was a combination of things. I'm recently married and my husband had to move to the city for just Tech World is Here versus Miami. And I also was really open to change. I feel like at Miami City Ballet, I kind of had done everything i wanted to do. i didn't know what else would be there for me, if that makes sense. Like I didn't really know how many other roles I would get to dance. And i was just like open to other ideas of how to keep ballet in my life. I didn't also know what to expect when I got into freelancing here. It just kind of was an idea that actually turned into what I'm still doing now, which is crazy to think about. I also loved New York forever.
Speaker: If anyone knows me well, they know I was was always sneaking away to the Big Apple on the weekend to see my close friends that were all in the city. So I think that New York City always kind of spoke to me from just a personal perspective and also like a love for the arts perspective. There's just so much here going on all the time that you don't really have in Miami.
Speaker: Like you have obviously Miami City Ballet, but there aren't that many other companies to go see. so i just love how you can walk out on the streets in New York City and just see art everywhere. It's very inspiring.
Speaker: So you moved there with this idea, but not really a full plan. So how did you first dip your toes into the freelance scene? I was nervous when I got here. I also didn't know what to expect of it I just kind of put feelers out everywhere.
Speaker: And i also do you know things outside of ballet. As you mentioned, I teach Pilates. So I started kind of like getting some Pilates classes on the schedule and seeing, you know, what gigs came up. The first ballet company that danced for here is Tom Gold Dance. And he is incredible human and also amazing choreographer. He was a dancer in the New york City Ballet. Many years ago, and he was so welcoming and I felt just very like refreshed by rehearsing with him. So I've done two ballets with him now. So that was my kind of first intro, like maybe like a month into moving here. Basically, he needed a dancer last minute and then I stepped in. So that was exciting. But what I found different from freelance world versus being in the court of ballet at Miami City Ballet is everything that I've done here has really felt like a soloist or principal role in a way. Like it might not be the capacity of, you know, being at the art center as a principal dancer of Miami City Ballet, but I've been a lot more challenged by the choreography.
Speaker: it's you know it's generally just like me or meet another maybe human or two on the stage at once versus you know the 10 girls or 12 girls or whatever it is in the line of the flowers. So it's been fun to kind of tap into that world more, though it also is challenging in many ways. Beyond that, what are the other differences you found between being the company versus being a freelancer? Are there things that you have to think about now that you never had to worry about when you were in a company?
Speaker: Definitely. I mean, there's a lot of inconsistency in general with everything that comes to ballet, everything from when I'm taking ballet class to when I'm sewing pointe shoes, like all of the above. My first kind of reality hit when I was doing a Nutcracker gig and I was like, oh, I don't even own tights that don't have holes in them.
Speaker: because that's just what I've always worn for rehearsal. Like you don't need to have like, you know, clean pair of tights, clean undergarments, all of that. And they just obviously don't provide that for you. And I was like, oh, I have to start buying my own flat shoes. I have to buy tights without holes, things like that. But I think that for me, the most challenging part isn't necessarily that I can order those things on Amazon, but it will be the trying to stay in the perfect ballet shape. which I think I've come to terms with, I won't always be in the perfect ballet shape perspective, but that's impossible unless you are in a company setting doing seven hours of rehearsal a day, every day, including class.
Speaker: So the technique doesn't have to be as perfect as it used to be. And I'm okay with that now. And, you know, sometimes I have to prioritize other work different weeks and I only make it to class. Like I think this week I only took ballet class twice. So, you know, there's also like, am I actually going to,
Speaker: get all the way uptown to take a class today or is that unrealistic for me? So kind of, there's a flow of when I'm in shape and when I'm not. And I think I'm comfortable with that now. Though as a dancer, like, you know, it's like very challenging. oh When I perform with Ballet Collective, we did a residency this summer. We were in Millbrook upstate for about a month and they offered ballet class every day. So that was like probably the most I felt like an actual ballet dancer since I moved here. Yeah. How do you,
Speaker: prioritize your schedule? Do you put ballet classes on the schedule first and then try to fill things in to make sure it gets in? Or do you just kind of like see what the week holds for you? So every week is different depending on what's popping up. And sometimes, you know, I'll be subbing extra Pilates classes or however the schedule goes. But right now I have three reserved days a week where I do have the morning free to take a ballet class. I realize I don't like taking ballet class at night, though I do offer for that in the city. I'm um a morning ballet girlie.
Speaker: So I try to make it happen those three days if I can fit it in elsewhere. That's great. But my tricky scheduling is a lot of the teaching opportunities for Pilates are in the morning. So it's like I have to make sure there's, you know, that income stream as I do all these other things. So it's just not realistic for me to take class every single day. But also I find it not quite as motivating anymore because, you know, it's nice to have your friends and your community of your dancers around you. And sometimes I get to a company class and it's full of modern dancers who don't really care about ballet. And like, okay. So yeah.
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Speaker: Have you focused fully on ballet freelance scene in the city or have you dipped your toes into anything else like musical theater, Broadway, stuff like that? I have not.
Speaker: I can't sing. Everyone has told me I should attempt to get into acting at some point. That seems... like a stretch for me. i have a lot of dancer friends have actually left Miami City Ballet that moved to the city and kind of gone in a more musical theater path, which I've loved watching that because I've just, I'm wowed by it. So I haven't done any auditions myself. It seems like, it seems like a lot. i have a lot of friends that, you know, just from going to steps, you meet people and they do these auditions and it seems like a lot of waiting and a lot of do you have an agent or not. So I just kind of stuck to the ballet world, but i would be open to anything, of course.
Speaker: Yeah, who knows? So can you walk us through a daily schedule? Like what does a typical day for a freelancer actually look like? I mean, I know it's different every day, but yeah give us an example.
Speaker: Well, I was just reviewing my calendar for next week, so I'll tell you what my Monday is going to look like. On Mondays, I normally teach two Pilates classes, one at night and one in the morning.
Speaker: But this week I'm subbing like at 7 a.m. before I teach. So I'll be teaching at one studio in the Lower east Side at 7 a.m. And then I go back home. I live like in the East Village-ish and I teach at a studio like in my community where I live. We're teaching there at 9am. And then i need to find a ballet class to take because I'm doing a a few hours of rehearsal for Point Works in the afternoon for their residency that's coming up in March that I will be a part of. And I believe the Monday schedule is kind of the choreographers are going to take a peek at the dancers involved to see, you know, who wants to utilize each dancer.
Speaker: I'm honestly really nervous about it because I don't think I'm in ballet shape right now, given I've taken class only twice this week. But I so basically i will teach a class. I will teach another class. I'll find a ballet class to go to. Hopefully there's one at that time period. I'll go to this rehearsal where I will learn choreography for four or five hours. And then after that, I actually got a sub for my night Pilates class because I decided would be a little too much.
Speaker: And I'm going to a costume fitting directly from that rehearsal for Ballet Collective because we have performances coming up in November. So kind of a mixture of things during the day, but every day is different.
Speaker: So how much time are you spending in transit on a day like this? my gosh, way too much. I get at least 10,000 steps a day in, which I love that. But, you know, sometimes I'm bouncing all over the city. Sometimes I'm on the subway multiple times a day. i really love a day where I don't have to take the subway, which happens every so often. But between all of this, I'm coming home to walk my dog in between. so but they they are busy in long days, but very fulfilling.
Speaker: Do you feel like being in the freelance dance scene has allowed you to cultivate more of your life outside of ballet? Yes, it has given me more time to tap into other things since I get to choose my own schedule. And in terms of the ballet freelancing, there's not that much of it here that I could do it full time, transparently. Like there are things that I'll be busy for a month or two. And then, you know, there's no income in between other than Pilates or like one off smaller gigs.
Speaker: What are some of the things that you like to do outside of ballet? I'm in New York City. There's a really good food everywhere. i have a lot of friends here, so I love, you know, meeting friends for coffee.
Speaker: I also am starting to get a little bit more into influencer world here. i have a manager now to help me find brand deals, which somehow ends up being better income than the ballet gigs themselves, which is kind of crazy.
Speaker: So, i you know, I try to when I have time, which is not that much of it, try to like, you know, post things on Instagram, things that might be relatable. Now I try to tap into the freelancer, or even just the adult ballet community in New York City. make content for them. i've started to like put together just little, you know, carousels of where to grab a sweet treat, where to grab lunch at all the dance studios all over New York City and people love that. So just kind of taking what I love and sharing it with others.
Speaker: If you had a friend coming into town, what are some of the must-go places you would take them to like your favorite restaurant or coffee shop? Yeah, well, I Since I said I live in East Village, there are a lot of good bakeries here. and There's a lot of good coffee. And I love all types of Asian food. We also have a lot of that in East Village. So i probably would stick to my neighborhood and just show them my area, my spots. I probably wouldn't travel outside of it too much. i love S'more Bakery. They also have a restaurant, which is like Nordic food, like Swedish meatballs, stuff like that. But their bakery is incredible for our pastries and coffee. So i probably would start there. There's also another bakery nearby called From Lucy and they have beautiful cupcakes. They're just adorable.
Speaker: And then for dinner, i love Momofuku Noodle Bar. they have, you know, tons of Asian influenced food, but they have, I love like a cool, not cold noodle, not a hot noodle. And they have this really good spicy pork cold noodle. So I probably would hit all those places, you know show them some parks and things in the area.
Speaker: yeah i'm amazing. I'll have to keep those in mind if I'm ever in the area. So I know you have a degree in public relations, advertising, communication. has that helped you be able to gain more work and really kind of tap into this influencer world?
Speaker: I've used it, I would say, in two ways. Both the influencer world, it's helped me kind of navigate social media and marketing a little bit. But when I was at Miami City Ballet, i was on their social media team in the marketing world for four years at the same time as dancing. I ran the Miami City Ballet social media and I also continued to run it a little bit when I moved here. Then I realized it didn't really make much sense. I wasn't there. And I feel like I needed to rip the bandaid off essentially from just all Miami things, which is fine. it's healthier. And there was lots to tap into here. So currently I'm working for recovery shoe brand.
Speaker: I love them. It's you know great for athletes other than dancers too. So I do use my marketing degree to some perspective. I've worked with a lot of dancewear brands just to help create content. So it's done something for me.
Speaker: What's your advice for dancers wanting to create content or maybe grow a social media following? I would say just put it out there. no one You might think people are judging you, but you can't care about them. It's really like what makes you happy. And the more content, the better. Sometimes you know I'm like hard on myself or maybe I should be posting more, but you also have to live your life. So don't be glued to your phone all the time. Only do what serves you and have some fun with it. You know, what we all love to hop on a fun trend. People love those. So try to do that when you can and just make content that makes you feel good. And, you know, it's it's not about the numbers at the end of the day. Like, it's just, you know, it's your little scrapbook. If you scroll down on my Instagram from like when I was in high school, it's honestly the same vibes. It's like, you know, girly ballet ice cream. like It's the same thing. I'm the same person. So just be yourself with it.
Speaker: Yeah, that's a good point. I feel like your Instagram is really just a snapshot of your life. Like you're not, I mean, of course, it's a lot of work to document your entire life when you're living it and to think I take a picture of this or take a video of this. But it is what you're already doing, as opposed to saying i have to go out and maybe create a lot more other content.
Speaker: So you're just sharing what it's like to be to be you and people really resonate with that. Yeah, i I have a goal of myself for trying to talk more in social media. That's not my cup of tea per se. Like I can record a voiceover, but talking on camera it takes a whole other a whole other thing. so that's my goal for this year.
Speaker: but yeah, I would say to all the dancers who are interested in it, I've also just have made so many connections. It's really helped me since I moved here. Just people know me from Instagram and people will DM me and ask me if I want to dance in this. Or like maybe they hired me because I happen to have some following. i have no idea. can help advertise. I have no idea. So just put yourself out there. If anything, you'll get free leotards, you know?
Speaker: And I saw you just performed at new York Fashion Week. How did that come about? That actually was kind of my doing. So when I moved to here last year and I was in my head about like, oh, I don't know anyone here. How am I still going to dance? This isn't realistic. I saw a few of the dancers performing in New York Fashion Week. And I thought that's so cool. Like, not that it's like easy. I mean, the choreography has to be easier on a little, you know, narrow aisle. But i just thought it's so cool to collaborate with fashion and ballet together. And i I remember just thinking, I wish I could do that. And then this year, i have a close friend who has the same name as me. Crazy. I know. We met on Instagram. So
Speaker: And I just saw that she was starting to post content about making her new collection. I was like, hi, friend, do you want a ballet dancer in it? And she was like, yes. So that just worked out perfectly.
Speaker: Yeah. So you just shoot your shot and just try. you never know. And people love ballet. Like it's such a beautiful art form to include if you have a trained ballet dancer too, because we've all seen how many brands aren't using actual dancers in dance content.
Speaker: The post itself blew up a little bit and there are a lot of people commenting who aren't dancers, which we we love the engagement, but there were a lot of people who were saying, oh, this is so much better then the model just walking down that like looks grumpy. They're like, she actually looks happy wearing the you know fashion. So thought that was silly. Yeah, that's interesting. I feel like – why is that the culture of of modeling?
Speaker: i hope I don't know. I also didn't realize how slow they walk down. it was really slow motion. I've been to a Miami swim week when I lived in Miami and they're kind of like bouncy fun showing off their bikinis. But this was like very elegant, like severe face walk slowly. Okay. It's a different vibe in New York City.
Speaker: I also was 5'2 and everyone in the room was like 6'2. So that was really fun for me. That's funny. Yeah. And you look so much taller. I feel like when i like see you on your social media and everything, I would not guess you were 5'2. I'm very petite. Yeah. Yeah.
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Speaker: One thing you mentioned wanting to talk about today is the importance of taking your health more seriously while you're in a ballet company. So what does that look like for you? Looking back on your time in a company setting, what do you wish you would have done differently?
Speaker: I really wish that I would have listened to my body a bit more. I think in ballet, there's this idea to always push yourself to dance through the pain and sometimes looking back on it it was not worth it. I ended up dancing through a lot of pain that I really thought was just ballet related and turned out to be not one but two chronic illnesses that I'm currently working through. kind of had an idea of one of them.
Speaker: maybe throughout the past 10 years, but getting some answers on those two things has been really helpful for me. But looking back at my career, I really wish I would have taken more time to just not necessarily take care of my body, but find out what was going on which I know that's ah hard to do while you're trying to learn all these ballets and perform your best is, you know, a seek out specialists and actually make appointments and things like that.
Speaker: But if you know, always trust your gut In terms of your health, if you feel like something is off, there might be something off. Always get your blood work done. i have endometriosis clinically diagnosed. I'm doing a surgery for it in the coming months to kind of go in and see what's up. And then I also have adenomyosis, which is the sister illness to it. which pertains only to your uterus.
Speaker: But basically, I danced through a lot of pain on the right side of my body that i really thought was just like the choreography or maybe my body just didn't like ballet. It turns out that all of that pain and fatigue and brain fog and just all of the things that come with that actually weren't normal. So looking back on it, I wish I had addressed that. Maybe I could have taken more time for myself or not been so hard on myself. There were lots of moments in my career where I was just like, am I made for a ballet? Like, I always feel like I was hurting a lot more than the other dancers around me or I was just so much more tired.
Speaker: Turns out I actually was a lot more tired than everyone. So I just want dancers to know to always listen to your body, speak up for yourself and just trust your gut, really.
Speaker: i think dancers are the ultimate in gaslighting ourselves. Yeah. Thinking like, Yeah, all pain is normal because we're just used to being in pain and we should just suck it up. Yeah, was like myself, like, do you really have these things? Because, you know, you have good days and you're like, I'm fine.
Speaker: i can push through anything. And then, you know, i have a flare up again and I'm like, okay. Was there a final straw that made you seek out more support?
Speaker: I would say i actually moved to New York and doctors were like, oh, this isn't normal. So I think it was kind of switching from Florida to New York. I don't know if it was maybe the particular doctors I was seeing. yeah, definitely eye opening.
Speaker: Have you found a freelance schedule to be more compatible with resting and making sure you can take care of yourself? Yeah, even before I you know confirmed had these chronic illnesses when I was at Miami City Ballet, I really felt like my body could not take on the load of a full ballet day. And that was another reason why I kind of wanted to get out of that.
Speaker: And I thought that, you know, there could be a world where I could dance less and I could feel better. And I, in a way, have created that for myself. Not to say that I don't get my flare-ups now or I'm not in pain some days, but it does make it easier to manage, but also, you know, if you have a chronic illness, if you're sitting in a desk doing this all day, you're still going to be in the same pain. whether you are dancing or not. So like even when I'm teaching Pilates, some days I have days where I can't, you know, i maybe I can't demonstrate things. I need to just like talk to the class only. So it's really just kind of like a moving kind of learning experience for me. But one in 10 women actually do have endometriosis. So that's a lot more than we think. When you think about maybe a court of ballet of 20 girls, that might be two people there that don't know about it. So maybe they're dancing through, you know, things that they also think are ballet pain that are more than that.
Speaker: What's your advice to dancers for speaking up in the ballet setting? So, you know, of course, it's important to go to a practitioner and find out what's going on. But how do you find the courage to say something because it can be so frowned upon to even like take any step back?
Speaker: I wish I had more advice on this because I feel like growing up through Miami City Ballet was really hard for me to even tell someone I had an ingrown toenail before a rehearsal. Like that's just the environment is you're there, you're hired to do this. Like you have to push through stuff. I would say towards the end of my career, I kind of could block that mentality out a little bit. And I wasn't afraid to address any issue, whether it was like an injury or like, hi, I'm on my period and I actually can't move my body today.
Speaker: So it's definitely a challenge. You have to just be okay with knowing that like the end results of you taking care of your body is going to be worth whatever uncomfortable conversation you're going have and putting, you know, whatever your struggle is out there earlier on and having open conversations about it with artistic staff is only going to, you know, bring you a positive outcome in the end. As challenging as that is because, you know, we want a scene as reliable all the time and when you're a new dancer in the company, That's the most challenging because you feel like you have to prove yourself, but your health is the most important thing. So always put that first.
Speaker: hu How do you feel like living with a chronic illness has changed the way you think about being a professional dancer and what a sustainable career actually looks like for you moving forward? What's sad is I think that I couldn't ever do ballet full-time again. I'm definitely at the point in my career where I'm older and I've chosen to separate that. But there was a point where i was like, I don't know, maybe I'll audition for a company again. Now I know how unrealistic that is.
Speaker: You know, I'm also at point my life when I'm married and maybe want to have kids soon and all those other things. So there are amazing things to look forward to. But it it is a challenge. I have a few friends that I know of who have, you know, conditions similar to me who are dancing through it. And I I see what they're going through in the struggle.
Speaker: But, you know, it's all worth at the end of the day if you love what you're doing. Like I said before, like you could be in the same pain necessarily. Like if you're at a desk job anyways, like that's just the reality of it. So try to do what you love and take rest days when you need to and just always listen to your body. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Yeah. Okay, last question. If you could give aspiring professional dance dancers pursuing their career one piece of advice, what would you tell them? In terms of a ballet career, my one piece of advice would be to always have a life outside a ballet. Do not put all of your aches in one basket. I know we love ballet, eat, sleep, breathe ballet, all of the things. It's almost like a religion for a lot of us, but it's really important to feed everything outside of it.
Speaker: You never know when you're going to have a bad ballet week, day, month, season, year. It's so important to have, you know, a support system outside of ballet. I had a lot of friends and still have a lot of friends that were ballet dancers, understand what I'm going through, but never actually went into the professional world. And I feel like they're amazing people to open up to. They understand pretty much everything you've been through in some way. i loved going to college and learning about other things outside of ballet. That doesn't mean every dancer has to go to college. I know that's also a financial commitment and as well as a time commitment, but you don't know, maybe you have like a hobby outside. You love, I don't know, paddle boarding, something just to just get your mind somewhere else. And I also love being active and physical in other ways than ballet. It's amazing to, you know, tap into all these different cross trainings and There's something out there for everyone. So just always know that ballet, as an important as it is, and it probably will always be a part of your life, you need to have something outside going on as well, just to keep you grounded and also bring back your love for ballet in a way too.
Speaker: I'm glad you mentioned college again because I feel like there's questions I i wanted to bring up but about that before we do wrap up. Because a lot of dancers, I think at that age, you know, young, starting to first pursue their career, feel like you either have to go to college for dance or go in a training program. Like there's just two paths. And I like that you had this other path that you took where you were dancing and also doing college classes. What did that look like for you? Were you doing like a few classes a year and like slowly getting your degree? Yeah.
Speaker: It was slowly, but towards the end of it, I was able to up my classes thanks to COVID. Not that that much ballet going on. So I think I graduated with my four-year wood event degree in like five and a half years. I could be making it. Maybe was only five years.
Speaker: But i started slow. I only took like one or two classes depending on what the season was going on then. it was not cracker season, there's no way. If it was a mixed rep and I was only in one of the ballets or covering, I would try to add a few more over the summer. I would do more. so I did everything virtually.
Speaker: i also think there's a world that I've discovered more recently, i would say, is you can go to college and then pursue ballet after. like I have some friends who have done that. That's not the typical path that like everyone wants to take. You want to get in right out of high school, which is ideal. But there's so many different paths for ballet you can take. For example, i'm tapping into like ah assistant rehearsal director at Columbia College. They have a ballet program where their students can, you know, pursue whatever degree they're getting. And then there's this ballet program where they get to rehearse together and perform with really credible choreographers in the city. And I do believe they get a college credit for it. So I'm helping rehearse a ballet for another choreographer. And the group of dancers just was so refreshing to me because it wasn't that they didn't care about what was happening. They came in with just like
Speaker: excitement to like be there dancing. None of them, you know, like I said, do it professionally, but it's still a passion and the love they have. so it was a different environment for rehearsal for me to be in because almost when you are in a ballet company, everyone's really stressed. Everyone's like, this is your livelihood. You're like, am I going to be the first cast? Am I go be the second cast? And your mental health is going to depend on that. It was almost almost just like, we're all here. We're excited to be in it. There's not that much stress about how perfectly turned out I am you know? So I've enjoyed working with them and I'm excited to see them perform the ballet soon.
Speaker: Do you think you would continue to pursue that path of a profession post-dancing or even along side of it, doing more teaching, rehearsal, directing? i'm It's funny. Everyone always assumes that I teach ballet and I can and I do occasionally, but I teach Pilates mostly. Honestly, it makes more money than ballet. It makes sense. But I love teaching ballet.
Speaker: I sometimes don't feel like I'm like the best technical dancer. Like I struggle doing double pirouettes, but I do love to get people warm, make everyone feel like they're on their leg, just like good things, you know, before you do a rehearsal. So I did, I have enjoyed kind of working in a assistant to a choreographer.
Speaker: It's great. I mean, like I, You have the ability to make everyone in the room feel comfortable and, you know, just valued. And that's but's an important job.
Speaker: Valley is hard. So if you can bring any light to the space and help people, whether it's they're learning the counts or just feel confident in a step, that's really important. What do you think that's being in an academic setting or being in college, what kind of perspective did that give you as you were in the depths of a ballet company?
Speaker: Since I didn't online and I didn't go in person, I feel like I didn't really have the real college experience of working with others in group projects and all of that.
Speaker: Transparently, my parents were public school teachers growing up and they said, you need to go to college. And they were right. I did need to go to college. But i wasn't necessarily like the most into it.
Speaker: I feel like looking back on it, I wish I would have gotten like gone down like like a health path, doctor path, physical therapy, something like that. But at the time, it didn't make sense to be doing that on top of performing all these ballets every night. So I went for, you know, marketing, which I love and I'm very passionate about and it has served me.
Speaker: But honestly, I feel like AI is taking over and that's a whole other conversation. But I don't know. It just gave me perspective of other jobs I could potentially have outside of ballet. And I think that even when I did leave Miami City Ballet and stepped into the world, even though I had a degree, I was still like, what am I doing? i still feel like that some days, but we all feel like that to some extent.
Speaker: Yeah. I still feel like that all the time. I constantly tell myself, you know, this is your first time living your life. Yeah. Everything is still new. I know. we can We can change our whole path tomorrow and I'm sure we make it work.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. Ella, this has been so amazing. Thank you for sharing all of your wisdom today. If anyone listening wants to learn more about you, where can we find you? My Instagram is just my name.
Speaker: My handle is at Ella Titus and follow me there. I also have a TikTok. i always kind of forget about it, but that's there too. Okay. Amazing. Thank you so much, Ella. Thank you.
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