Transcript
Speaker: This podcast is sponsored in part by Yosemite Sam Mudflats.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: On every single 1990 Power Stroke board you've ever seen in your life.
Speaker: Oh, that's amazing.
Speaker: Yosemite Sam!
Speaker: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Speaker: Yeah, why are you so, why do you got ants in your pants or what's happening?
Speaker: Just the thought of James's keyboard.
Speaker: I see.
Speaker: I like the clickety clackety.
Speaker: For whatever reason, it's a tactile side of things.
Speaker: But Jason, you don't use a mechanical keyboard at all?
Speaker: No, I do.
Speaker: It's attached to a laptop that I type on every day.
Speaker: And what I prefer is the one trend I'd probably go back to over mechanical keyboard would be smoking cigarettes.
Speaker: And we all know how good that is for you.
Speaker: I like where this is going.
Speaker: What's your beef with mechanical keyboards?
Speaker: I think for me, the issue I have with it is you're punishing everyone else's eardrums and testing the like, oh, it's, you know, you got noise canceling headphones.
Speaker: We're going to absolutely test this for you.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So while, while we're discussing it, because I, I understand that we can, we should, I like where this is going.
Speaker: Although I do suspect that the mechanical keyboard manufacturers association of America, which is,
Speaker: MCMAA.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: President Mavis Beacon.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: The MCMAA is writing a strongly worded letter as we speak.
Speaker: And when I say writing, they're typing it.
Speaker: James, what would the Mechanical Keyboard Manufacturers Association of America... This is all that we're hearing.
Speaker: No, Jason, that's their cocktails.
Speaker: Yeah, this is the angry letter that they're typing right now, right?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: We can actually hear it live from James.
Speaker: James, what does that sound like there at MCMAA headquarters?
Speaker: Here's a sneak peek.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: No, no, there's definitely some anger.
Speaker: There's gonna be some vitriol behind that.
Speaker: There you go.
Speaker: Now we're talking.
Speaker: There you go.
Speaker: Now we're talking.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: What it will sound like is, you know those biology skeletons?
Speaker: Imagine a whole fucking truckload of those things gets knocked over in the middle of a busy concrete.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: And then, hold on.
Speaker: You're on the freeway.
Speaker: That escalated quickly.
Speaker: A whole truckload of these things falls out.
Speaker: Yeah, a whole truckload of these smiles falls out.
Speaker: Okay, stick with me for the visual.
Speaker: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And then every busted up Chevy Cavalier that's following this truck closely.
Speaker: By the way, I think it's Cavalier.
Speaker: I think it's a French car.
Speaker: Cavalier.
Speaker: All right, excuse me.
Speaker: The Chevrolet Cavalier.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Imagine that noise, right?
Speaker: Just chaos, right?
Speaker: 35 crushed skeletons, okay?
Speaker: It's still quieter than the noise of two mechanical keyboards in a busy room.
Speaker: Like you can hear it over everything.
Speaker: And the equivalent in life of mechanical keyboard is open mouth chewers and people who spit when they talk to you.
Speaker: It's the exact same human behind it all.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: James, there's a reason why I'm not sitting across from you now.
Speaker: Well, besides this multi-state difference, et cetera.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And by the way, Jason, it seems like you're in a state of frustration over mechanical keyboards.
Speaker: And James is in the state of Minnesota.
Speaker: But I do want to come back to the open mouth chewing because something came up at work yesterday that I want to –
Speaker: bounce off of you guys, but back to the mechanical keyboards.
Speaker: So, you know, we got James, uh, one of those for his birthday.
Speaker: And the reason why we got it besides James loving tech was also because it's Nintendo inspired.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So Jason, I, I, I think you've, have you seen this?
Speaker: It's, it's cool.
Speaker: Um, and I actually have a, uh,
Speaker: mechanical keyboard ish thing at work.
Speaker: Um, but Jason, it's what it's a hybrid.
Speaker: So I guess it's got physical, you know, you, you two are both much better at tech than I am.
Speaker: It's a mix of both, right?
Speaker: Like there's, uh, you can switch the keys, but the switches themselves are like,
Speaker: mechanical and the normal, whatever the, whatever non-mechanical keyboards are made of.
Speaker: Um, so it's a little bit clickety clackety, but it's not the full.
Speaker: Rather than being a membrane, it's actually like there's a membrane involved to register keystrokes, but the actual mechanism to actually make the key press.
Speaker: Hold on a second, James, I don't feel comfortable with you using the word membrane like that.
Speaker: It makes me, it makes me very uncomfortable.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Can I stop?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Membrane little, little much.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Let's go ahead and talk about a mucus ducts while we're at it.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Membrane is.
Speaker: Yeah, it's.
Speaker: And then you're, you know, so you're saying there is a plasticky kind of thing, right?
Speaker: Yes, it's technically a membrane.
Speaker: I just don't like that word or at least the way that you use it.
Speaker: So so there's a plasticky thing underneath the mechanical thing is what you're saying.
Speaker: No, essentially normal, like to make laptop keyboards thinner, the plasticky thing that registers keystrokes doesn't have a mechanical, it doesn't necessarily, it doesn't always have a mechanical button doing it.
Speaker: But going back to the 80s and typewriters and even the early stage of computers, yeah, that's where the mechanical keyboards kind of came into.
Speaker: And also the weighted keyboards as well, like to kind of drive forward your keystrokes as well.
Speaker: I see.
Speaker: Well, there is something, Jason.
Speaker: I've never had a minute.
Speaker: This is the first.
Speaker: You're a little delayed, Jeff.
Speaker: Jeff, your membrane that's holding the microphone together is pausing.
Speaker: It's creating a gap.
Speaker: Am I clear now or am I still delayed?
Speaker: What's the second?
Speaker: See, this is exactly one of the reasons why we should record this separately because, oh my gosh, Jeff, you were robo-Jeff for a second.
Speaker: You should turn off your video.
Speaker: Let me do this, yeah.
Speaker: Is this better?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I think the issue is, James, you've been responsible for typing Jeff's IP.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like, yeah, together, one keystroke at a time, and everyone notices this has been a quiet episode.
Speaker: This is like the Captain Phillips moment.
Speaker: I'm the captain now.
Speaker: I'm the older brother now.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: Oh, no, Jeff dropped.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Let's improvise.
Speaker: Jason, you do Jeff impression.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So what we're going to do is I'm going to explain to you how we're going to go back in time and—
Speaker: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: Just when I reflect on certain things and I talk.
Speaker: Can you guys hear me at all or no?
Speaker: Whoa, something's going on.
Speaker: Jeff, did you say something?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Can you hear me at all or no?
Speaker: Oh, your audio is, I can see you talking, but we don't hear you.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: This is really frustrating.
Speaker: Sorry, Jason.
Speaker: And I appreciate you guys being patient with me.
Speaker: Can you hear me now?
Speaker: We're good.
Speaker: Your audio, we can see you, but I can't hear you.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Jason, you can see me and hear me.
Speaker: Gotcha.
Speaker: Loud and clear.
Speaker: Jeff, go bye-bye.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I can't hear anybody.
Speaker: No, I can hear you.
Speaker: You can hear me, but I can't hear you.
Speaker: So it makes it awesome.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So I'll just clarify.
Speaker: The audio is working.
Speaker: But it's working.
Speaker: And it's almost like you're.
Speaker: Your audio sounds very, I don't know how to describe it.
Speaker: Can you verify that you're still here?
Speaker: No, I'm still here.
Speaker: And I'm, again, trying desperately.
Speaker: I think it's really funny.
Speaker: Like, Jason, I have never heard you laugh like that.
Speaker: I think in your whole life, which is awesome.
Speaker: But I'm also like trying to manage.
Speaker: Do I destroy our home office based on the frustration of not getting it to work?
Speaker: And look, go ahead.
Speaker: we had trouble for about 30 minutes right right very first like we see action it's hey is everybody okay can you hear me okay
Speaker: It's so exciting.
Speaker: It's a light year.
Speaker: We meet again.
Speaker: Yeah, it sounded like Emperor Zurg.
Speaker: I really hope with all my heart that it did get recorded that way, which is amazing.
Speaker: If it was...
Speaker: Like if Kit from Knight Rider was running low on Batman or something.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Well, I'm sorry that I messed with the mojo and the delay, but if that created an Emperor Zerg-like commentary, then that was all worth it.
Speaker: I really have not laughed that hard.
Speaker: In ever.
Speaker: Like, in ever.
Speaker: I do think part of me is feeling like the universe, Jason, agrees with you on the mechanical keyboards.
Speaker: And so it's like, oh, yeah?
Speaker: You want to go click it and clack?
Speaker: All right, here we go.
Speaker: Now your audio and or microphones are not going to work intermittently for 30 minutes.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Hope you enjoy your clack soup because this is what's happening.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: I even forgot we were at talking about the mechanical keyboard.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: It was – again, I don't even want to bring it up in case –
Speaker: And maybe that is the karmic penalty for talking about the mechanical keyboard manufacturers association of America.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, wow.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, Jason, you mentioned something earlier about people who chew with their mouths open.
Speaker: What was the other social faux pas that you said?
Speaker: like spitting when they talk.
Speaker: Pacino syndrome, except you don't have any acting credibility or any sort of street credibility.
Speaker: So you're just a human spitting on others.
Speaker: The other like worst part of it too is imagine they just left eating like a sandwich.
Speaker: And so it's just like breadcrumbs.
Speaker: spurting and I'm like nope no thanks I definitely know what you're talking about and by the way if you guys are still getting Emperor Zerg and you're just letting me keep talking like this as long as I can that would be equal parts amazing and I can Zerg you in post production no problem there we go there we go by the way just as we we talked about membranes Zerging someone is also not appropriate whoa hey wait a minute yeah we're not
Speaker: So this came up at work because an unnamed coworker had got a kidney stone.
Speaker: And so he's explaining to me and this, this person is super nice, like a really, really good person.
Speaker: And so of course I have to be careful, I guess, if I bring this up, but the long and short of it is this person had had a kidney stone, has a kidney stone.
Speaker: And so in doing some research after the fact, I guess you have to have either of you guys ever had a kidney stone before?
Speaker: Goodness, no.
Speaker: Oh, man, it scares me a little bit.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, one of the things that this person mentioned is that most times, oftentimes, you have to actually keep the kidney stone, like not on a key chain.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You have to collect it.
Speaker: And so, so then I'm thinking, okay, we'll collect it.
Speaker: Like, you know, and I guess the, the, the functionality, you know, so then in my mind, I'm, I'm, I'm going, okay, well, how do you collect a kidney stone?
Speaker: It's a net or like a, like a colander, maybe not a colander.
Speaker: Cause that seems, that seems ill suited for the purpose, but essentially I guess it's like a little, like a,
Speaker: Like a filter or a net of not a net, but not a fabric net, but some kind of filter, right?
Speaker: I'm getting a mental picture.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So you, you, you, you urinate through this screen, right?
Speaker: And the screen is what catches the, the, the kidney stone because you have to collect it, turn it in.
Speaker: Again, this is a very serious thing and I don't want to diminish the impact of kidney stones.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But, but James, as you mentioned, like I'm going through, okay, well,
Speaker: So if you've got this net-like filter-like screen device, well, obviously it's got to be big enough so that you can hold it in your hand.
Speaker: It's not like the thing that you put loose-leaf tea in, right?
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: And what is it, a tea infuser?
Speaker: It's not like that.
Speaker: So in thinking about that, and I'm thinking, well, then that also means –
Speaker: this guy is likely carrying it around in his pocket because if you've got to go to the restroom and you've got to collect this thing, you've got to have it with you at all times, right?
Speaker: And so then I'm thinking, well, if it's in his pocket right now, is it wrapped in a paper towel?
Speaker: Is it in a sandwich bag?
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: Is it attached to a keychain?
Speaker: Because you don't need –
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, you got to think about it, right?
Speaker: So keep, I like where you're going with it, Jason.
Speaker: So then it's like, okay, well, do you have it on one of those like custodian rings, the loops where you just and then you put it back.
Speaker: But then I'm also thinking from a hygiene standpoint, well,
Speaker: Do you rinse it in the sink when you're done?
Speaker: Like it's a whole, it's a whole thing.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So, so my mind is.
Speaker: Honey, have you seen my screen?
Speaker: So my mind is racing, racing with the possibilities of, of what all this entails.
Speaker: And again, I don't want to go into this with this coworker because they're really, really nice.
Speaker: But then as the, as I was kind of processing that, and this is my, my question to you guys, um,
Speaker: The only other thing that I could think of that would be as awkward as someone taking out their kidney stone P screen would be like people that take out their retainer at the dinner table.
Speaker: I get that from a practical standpoint, retainer or Invisalign, hey, you got to pop that thing out.
Speaker: You don't want to get food in it.
Speaker: No problem.
Speaker: Again, please, dentist, orthodontist, keep your angry letters to a minimum.
Speaker: But I think that a P screen,
Speaker: And a retainer or Invisalign out at a table.
Speaker: Both of those would be equally uncomfortable and socially awkward.
Speaker: So, so with all that in mind, what do you guys think you want me to go there?
Speaker: Well, we got to be careful because there are some folks that have, you know, things that are outside of their control.
Speaker: So I don't want to get into that too much or at all.
Speaker: Correct.
Speaker: But are there other maybe are there other social faux pas?
Speaker: Not something, again, that someone can't control.
Speaker: Are there things that are within someone's control that you guys go, yeah, you know what?
Speaker: This also makes me uncomfortable.
Speaker: Honestly, a retainer is kind of fun.
Speaker: I've never had one, but it always seems like it was a more fun thing.
Speaker: It's not as intensive as braces.
Speaker: You get a cute little lisp from it when you're a kid.
Speaker: You're like, oh, that sort of thing.
Speaker: I think it's cute.
Speaker: By the way, James, I think you're also thinking of headgear, which definitely add to the lisp and is not as cute.
Speaker: But okay, I'll follow your lead.
Speaker: But there's no reason why you can't, again, like...
Speaker: The idea of having a kidney stone and having to treat it is definitely something I've been afraid of and there's trauma associated with it.
Speaker: But make it fun.
Speaker: Put a little Cabela's brand on it.
Speaker: Call it the urinet.
Speaker: That way you can catch it and make it a little bit more commercialized.
Speaker: Then you have the old – I kept picturing a fisherman.
Speaker: Once you did pass the stone, of course, you're doing it probably in great pain.
Speaker: Hopefully you can do it in a way that isn't as, I mean, now you can kind of blast them with like sonic frequencies or something if I remember correctly.
Speaker: But, um, but I was just picturing a fisherman, like, you know, you have to, you have to catch the stone slash stones.
Speaker: I was just picturing a fisherman, like kind of cheering you on to say, that's a nice catch there.
Speaker: You know, like somebody, somebody from new England, basically like, Oh, that's kind of a whopper there, you know, that sort of thing.
Speaker: But are you doing Conan O'Brien's, uh, uh, classic, uh,
Speaker: classic vaudeville voice to, uh, to the tune of a Maine fisherman.
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: You know, you know, yeah, that's, uh, that's quite a catch there.
Speaker: You know, I've never seen a, I've never seen a stone with as much, uh, I can't do it because I'm from Texas and Minnesota.
Speaker: Would you put a bullseye on that target?
Speaker: Cause you're, you're, it sounds like you're saying like, Hey, if you,
Speaker: you know like is it like darts where you can hey if you can if you can catch it in the in the center you know it's worth more points it has to be a loose net i would say because i think you would start to give people a complex if it was shaped or formed because okay we're look look no we're done i gotta cut you off here we're getting to membrane level all right yeah i can't talking about loose form come on look we oh
Speaker: How about just a really simple thing, such as people that wear, what is it, like felt or fuzzy slippers on an airplane?
Speaker: Can we not do that anymore?
Speaker: I'm open to hearing what's your opening argument.
Speaker: You're walking.
Speaker: Looking around an airport where there's, you know, grease and people like spilling their high C orange juice from McDonald's that they paid $8 for.
Speaker: And they're just trampling along like everything's okay.
Speaker: And it's the same people that are pizza phoning through the airport wearing these fuzzy slippers.
Speaker: It's just like, come on.
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: What's pizza phoning?
Speaker: I've never heard of this.
Speaker: You don't know what a pizza phone is?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Imagine you got a New York slice pizza in your hand.
Speaker: And you got to eat it a certain way.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So either your hand goes completely under it flat to where the phone is parallel to the ground.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But you have it on speaker.
Speaker: Hmm.
Speaker: at the exact same time.
Speaker: So you're talking into where the charging port is on said phone.
Speaker: While eating pizza or pizza has nothing to do with it.
Speaker: It's just the mechanics of how they hold it.
Speaker: It's the mechanics.
Speaker: You look simply like you're holding a piece of pizza.
Speaker: Your phone is on speaker phone the whole time.
Speaker: It's the same.
Speaker: They have no sense of self-awareness.
Speaker: And when it comes to people watching, there's only a few places in the world that are consistently good.
Speaker: The airport is one of those places.
Speaker: And fortunately, because I get to travel for work, I get to see it firsthand that every time you think about, oh, someone's dressing comfortably.
Speaker: No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: You haven't seen the ultimate train wreck of human being exists to go out and spend money on a plane ticket.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And then they choose to hold their phone with a speakerphone while wearing headphones, by the way.
Speaker: I want everybody to know this.
Speaker: Wait, wait, hold on.
Speaker: So let me, so you're saying tech wise, they're pizza phoning.
Speaker: Now I know what that is.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: The more, you know, um, and with the headphones, you're talking about like any of those brands of over your headphones or potentially AirPods.
Speaker: Anything where they have a built in mic.
Speaker: So if they wanted to, just by speaking at a normal volume, the microphone embedded within that hearing device would pick up what they're saying.
Speaker: And at the same time, they would be able to clearly hear whatever the person on the other end is saying.
Speaker: You completely nailed it.
Speaker: And then the other thing is, is this is a universal thing.
Speaker: It doesn't matter what part of the world, what part of the United States or North America you're in, you will see this person if you are walking in an airport.
Speaker: And
Speaker: The other, I would say sort of sad fact is if you look at their feet and you look at those fuzzy slippers, they've never figured out a way to pick up their stinking feet.
Speaker: So they're just dragging and schlepping these things around like they're pulling around an angst toddler, just dragging them around.
Speaker: I'm like, pick up your feet.
Speaker: So not to mention, you've got that.
Speaker: They also have way too many cups in their hands.
Speaker: I don't understand.
Speaker: Same person carrying around three cups, walking around in the airport.
Speaker: I'm like, I get it.
Speaker: I understand.
Speaker: But pick a battle.
Speaker: So you're saying traipsing through many, many very, very dirty places with the slippers, including potentially...
Speaker: hydroplaning into the restroom on these very filthy, grungy, possibly crusty, they ain't fluffy anymore, slippers.
Speaker: And so your contention is that besides all of the tech public conversation on speaker, faux pas, whatever, they're also really making everyone else uncomfortable by them being quote unquote comfortable, right?
Speaker: Just with footwear alone.
Speaker: Just with footwear alone.
Speaker: Well, let's keep going.
Speaker: Walk me through the rest of the outfit.
Speaker: So we're going from the foot up.
Speaker: What's up next?
Speaker: Are we wearing fuzzy socks?
Speaker: Are we sockless?
Speaker: Actually, have you ever seen anyone in fuzzy slippers sockless at an airport?
Speaker: Yeah, I have.
Speaker: Okay, okay.
Speaker: Usually the warmer climates get it, right?
Speaker: So the further south you go, the further west you go, it's an obvious thing.
Speaker: You're going to see people wearing fuzzy slippers.
Speaker: And what's weird is the more further to those places you go, typically the cleaner the slippers are, meaning they've cycled.
Speaker: They made this decision before.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Where it's gotten to a point where I do want to be comfortable, but I'm going to toss the slippers.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And unfortunately, James, the state that you live in is known to have the dirtiest, grungiest slippers I've ever seen in the history of slippers.
Speaker: You're talking about somebody's going outside in two feet of snow to get the paper or an Amazon package.
Speaker: And these same slippers are reborn as they go through the airport.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: What's your feeling on flip-flops at an airport or open-toed shoes in general?
Speaker: Look, they exist for a reason.
Speaker: Anyone's willing to wear them.
Speaker: But if you take off your sandals or slides on a plane and you put your feet places that they should not be, basically in level with the seat or on the seat and you're over the age of 10, you need to be...
Speaker: basically talk to no wait hold on you said something about feet in a seat oh yeah yeah you've never been on a plane where people have just like sat on their feet or they put them on the they put them on the seat or they put them like a seat in front of them or they stretch them across and you know it's not what I would consider like hygiene appropriate you're saying bare human feet over the age of 10 on a seat yeah yikes
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And like, you know, on the seat, like they're getting ready to push labor.
Speaker: Like, put them down.
Speaker: Put them down there, Corny.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yikes.
Speaker: Let's move away from the foot for a bit.
Speaker: What are we talking?
Speaker: Are we talking pants, leggings, jeggings, perhaps, jams, kicking it old school?
Speaker: What are you seeing in terms of- Zubaz.
Speaker: Zubaz, yeah, Zubaz, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: What were those?
Speaker: The Zubaz, right?
Speaker: It was like the tiger-striped pants that coaches would wear and stuff.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: What are you seeing, Jason, pant-wise on those folks?
Speaker: So this has been a little bit of a topic of debate in the winter ish time or early morning flights.
Speaker: Usually it's some form of sweatpants with some sports team.
Speaker: They either played on or they're a fan of.
Speaker: So not joggers.
Speaker: Joggers are, are, are, you know, elevated sweatpants.
Speaker: We all know loose fitting sweatpants, comfy pants, right?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Again,
Speaker: I'm like, you're wearing pants.
Speaker: Good job.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Let's celebrate the little ones here at this point.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: What almost always is happening is on those dirty slippers on the bottom part of them.
Speaker: I'm going to use a really bad language here, but I don't care.
Speaker: That's okay.
Speaker: Those fuckers are being dragged, you know, pulled along and they look like a dirty lollipop that's rolled across the carpet on the bottom because they've been dragged through the airport too.
Speaker: You're talking about the bottom of the sweatpants is also.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Because, because it's getting caught in those dirty slippers and it's part of the experience, right?
Speaker: It's going for the ride.
Speaker: It's, I see.
Speaker: It is the mud flaps to the hillbilly truck that's gone through Georgia red clay for the last 15 years.
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: Hey, I'm part of the experience.
Speaker: Like that's the, that's what the bottom of the sweatpants are sounding like a little Tomater ish.
Speaker: James or Jason, can one of you contact our business manager and let's see if we can license, uh, uh, sweatpants are the mud flaps of, uh, that's good.
Speaker: Our sponsor actually, this episode our sponsor is the cuff that holds the sweatpants up.
Speaker: So we actually have a solution on standby.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The National Elastic Federation is very, very happy to hear that they will soon be a sponsor.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: This podcast is sponsored in part by Yosemite Sam Mudflats.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: On every single 1990 power stroke board you've ever seen in your life.
Speaker: Oh, that's amazing.
Speaker: Yosemite Sam.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So, okay.
Speaker: So we were, we're, we're moving up.
Speaker: So sweatpants, dingy, mud flaps, bad news bears.
Speaker: You also said something earlier that I want to call back to at times.
Speaker: These are folks who are wearing sweatpants that they likely acquired as part of a high school or collegiate athletic team that they are no longer just been in.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: And again, really proud of your accomplishment.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's a lot to be an athlete.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But I don't need to see you reliving your glory days.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Like it's, it's, it's okay.
Speaker: It was 2002.
Speaker: Hey, the world has moved on.
Speaker: Is the, is the word on the butt or is it kind of in the, like the front quadrant?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So James, you are really, this is membrane.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Word on the butt.
Speaker: Word on the butt.
Speaker: I just, you know what, James, you may need to go on a timeout for this, but we'll keep going.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: As far as shirt, again, depending on the weather.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But it's either some form of tank top or an ill-fitting sweatshirt or, again, something that, okay, I get it.
Speaker: The sport team that you played on, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: Totally fine.
Speaker: But on the sweatshirt aspect, it's not like it's part of a match set.
Speaker: It's not like, hey, this is my sweatshirt top from –
Speaker: Joe Smith High School, 1997.
Speaker: These are the pants from that same high school.
Speaker: They don't match.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So not matching.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Non-matching.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Here's the, are you ready?
Speaker: I'm ready.
Speaker: Woman, makeup, hair, done perfectly.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Kind of like, you know, what I would say, casual chic, right?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Not over the top, but not like, but you can tell almost every person that's dressed this way looks like they showered in the day.
Speaker: And it looks like, you know, again, the hygiene part is never an issue.
Speaker: I've never...
Speaker: like been close enough to the, I try and avoid them.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I'm, I'm darting the other way, like a nervous dog.
Speaker: They're making an effort to participate in society by, by bathing, brushing their teeth, et cetera.
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: They get a participant medal at the end of the, at the end of the flight, then they get a medal.
Speaker: So the fact that they can, at the end of the day, look at the fact that they probably put on a decent amount of makeup or brush your teeth, put in some form of hair product or whatever, um,
Speaker: But you're pizza phoning with your headphone kind of loosely askew, wearing dirty slippers in a public place.
Speaker: I go, wow.
Speaker: Well, wow.
Speaker: There's a lot to, I mean, holy smokes.
Speaker: Yeah, you again, I my delayed processing.
Speaker: You also mentioned at one point, I think a tank top with sweatpants and slippers.
Speaker: That's a that's a bold choice.
Speaker: That is that is a bold choice.
Speaker: Okay, so.
Speaker: If I understand it right, those are the folks that you feel like are akin to bringing out a kidney stone net or taking out your retainer, right?
Speaker: They're on the same level.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That's fair.
Speaker: How do you fall on neck pillows?
Speaker: What I mean by that is like, obviously, the place to wear a neck pillow, even if it's a short flight, two hours or so,
Speaker: would be an airplane.
Speaker: You're not going to wear a neck pillow when you go to Home Depot to go shopping for lumber.
Speaker: But do you find that it's more prevalent that people are wearing their neck pillows?
Speaker: Do they usually have it in a bag?
Speaker: So I fly usually aisle over window.
Speaker: I've been hit in the face by so many of those stupid things just dangling off of people's backpacks where it's like, you can't bring knives anymore on planes.
Speaker: You never have been able to.
Speaker: I'm not talking stab the person.
Speaker: That's wrong.
Speaker: I'm talking slightly cut their pillow.
Speaker: So when they go, it either makes a whoopee cushion.
Speaker: As they rest their dumb head on.
Speaker: You get hit by a floppy neck pillow.
Speaker: It's no good.
Speaker: Nobody's going to be having any fun.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Or the innards are just released upon the entire plane.
Speaker: Almost like the little spores.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: It's everywhere.
Speaker: So that's the only thing that keeps me from wanting to do it.
Speaker: But the majority of the people that have those, they don't use them on a plane.
Speaker: Or if they do, they always go...
Speaker: This thing just doesn't work.
Speaker: It's not comfortable.
Speaker: It's not comfortable.
Speaker: And they go, yeah, if you can't, like, if you haven't figured out how to fall asleep in a plane, you shouldn't do it.
Speaker: It's really simple.
Speaker: No, it's a fair statement.
Speaker: I do think that, you know, as planes, look, everything's busy, everything's cramped.
Speaker: And you're right, Jason, the thwack, thwack, thwack of the bags and then the neck pillows.
Speaker: I can see as an aisle person, that would be annoying.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Usually a dirty slippers pizza phone person.
Speaker: Just completely unaware.
Speaker: Welcome to my world.
Speaker: As we pivot to James, because I like his, I definitely like his point of view too.
Speaker: I do want to consider for me personally, one of the most annoying travelers.
Speaker: And again, I appreciate business travelers as I have been one and sometimes, and Jason, you are.
Speaker: But my frustration is we're all trying to get on the plane.
Speaker: And this is the time that someone has decided to very carefully fold up their coat in the middle of the aisle so they can carefully put it in the overhead compartment.
Speaker: And hey, listen, if you are going to take the step of being on a plane with a coat, you either keep it on or you have to have some kind of like a...
Speaker: Velcro on the sides, you know, a tearaway pant kind of function to get that thing off and shove it in the overhead compartment because it's very frustrating to watch someone with an elaborate coat folding issue, you know, routine.
Speaker: But James, you said something about neck pillows in a Home Depot while you're shopping for lumber.
Speaker: I just want to be clear to everyone out there.
Speaker: It is one of two things are going to happen if you walk into a Home Depot store with a neck pillow.
Speaker: Especially in the lumber department, either no one will approach you because they said, who is this maniac walking around in public in a home improvement store in the lumber section with a neck pillow?
Speaker: That's one possible outcome.
Speaker: Yep, yep.
Speaker: Or the other one is you will get all the help in the world because they're like, man, this person really needs our support.
Speaker: It's clear they are not prepared for life.
Speaker: So we're just going to get our arms around them, coach them up and help them.
Speaker: Somebody's going to broach the subject someday of basically like, well, why are you wearing a neck pillow?
Speaker: And it'll let slip that I couldn't afford.
Speaker: What do you call those things that you put around your neck?
Speaker: Not the neck pillow, but like the neck.
Speaker: You're talking about the cervical collar?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They were like, well, I hurt my neck, I strained my back or whatever, and I'm wearing this neck pillow because I couldn't afford the cervical collar or something like that.
Speaker: You both reminded me, these aren't even travel faux pas.
Speaker: These are just great travel stories.
Speaker: Jason, I definitely think you should talk through your motorcycle road trip, your solo motorcycle road trip, which was really cool and slash scary.
Speaker: And then I also think that you two had some shenanigans on a road trip from Minnesota down to Arkansas.
Speaker: So Jason, your motorcycle trip,
Speaker: I personally, sincerely, no, you know, all kidding aside, I was a little bit worried because I'm like, man, he's solo on the bike.
Speaker: Obviously, you know, you went from what, Minnesota all the way down to Houston and back?
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: And I was more worried like, hey, if you're by yourself, you know, there's not other like there's car.
Speaker: It's dangerous.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Riding motorcycles is inherently dangerous.
Speaker: You dodged traffic, as it were.
Speaker: But if I remember correctly, did you have some kind of dilemma while traveling on your motorcycle?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And it was not flip flop related or fuzzy slipper related at all.
Speaker: No, no, nothing like that.
Speaker: It was jacket related.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So it was clothing related.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: It was clothing related, but it was, it's safety equipment related because the jacket was a protective leather jacket.
Speaker: So long story short, I graduated from college and I decided to treat myself.
Speaker: I got into motorcycling, um, you know, back in 2008 and just kind of, it's like, Hey, this has become a huge part of my life and I love it.
Speaker: It's great.
Speaker: And I decided to motorcycle down to our hometown from the place I was living, which I think was over a thousand miles each way.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: And the way down, it was like I was going to stop in particular cities.
Speaker: I'm going to stop here.
Speaker: I'm going to stop here, stop here, stop here.
Speaker: And I get all the way down to our hometown, which is my big anchor.
Speaker: And I had gotten a nail in my rear tire, which is normally –
Speaker: a big issue um and you need to replace the tire right away but uh it was just off of the center line of the tire so it was it was doable okay um so i i plugged it and called one of my friends and just stays really dangerous he goes no you're fine okay plug it if you get stuck like you know go to any shop and they'll swap it up for you okay cool okay um but it was so hot because i went at the end of june early part of july
Speaker: It was July 1st, and I had tied my leather jacket to the back of my essentially rucksack on the tail of the bike.
Speaker: But the motorcycle I had had undertale exhaust.
Speaker: Um, so in my spirited ride, um, my motorcycle, which was tied, what I felt tightly to my rucksack was not tied tightly.
Speaker: It slid over my hot exhaust and immediately caught on fire when I was parked at a stoplight.
Speaker: But it just so happened, the person that was next to me, the stoplight was a Texas state trooper.
Speaker: And
Speaker: He looked at me and I looked at him and he was wearing a cowboy hat because it's Texas.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And his head darted back behind me.
Speaker: And I thought, oh gosh, I'm getting ready to get hit by a car.
Speaker: I turned around and I saw smoke and I went, this is not good.
Speaker: And by that time his door had opened and he goes, I think your back is on fire.
Speaker: And I go, so I, I,
Speaker: I turn off my bike and it wasn't on fire.
Speaker: It was my jacket.
Speaker: So I grabbed my jacket and I lifted up and through the neck hole, it's like fire.
Speaker: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: Oh wow.
Speaker: And I throw it down and he and I are stomping it out.
Speaker: And at this point he'd already put on his lights and credit to any public safety officer, any person that is choosing to protect and serve the public.
Speaker: It's a tough job.
Speaker: For sure.
Speaker: But to top it all off, you have to have literal split-second instincts.
Speaker: And the fact that he'd already turned on his lights, and then you see two guys next to a motorcycle stomping on a jacket, your first thought is, what was in the jacket?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So he says, are you okay?
Speaker: I said, yes, sir, I am.
Speaker: He says, I'll tell you what, let's pull over right here.
Speaker: Let's pull into this parking lot.
Speaker: I said, okay.
Speaker: And he looks at the license plate and he said, Minnesota?
Speaker: I said,
Speaker: Yes, sir.
Speaker: And he goes, no offense, sir, but what are you doing here in Chicago?
Speaker: Oh, my gosh.
Speaker: I said, sir, I'm from Rosenberg.
Speaker: Oh, okay, okay.
Speaker: He said, but
Speaker: Like what, what happened?
Speaker: I said, you know, my jacket must've fallen on my exhaust.
Speaker: And he said, are you going to be okay?
Speaker: Can I get you anything?
Speaker: Uh, you're going to take, get this water.
Speaker: And he says, Hey, uh, can you call anybody?
Speaker: And I said, yeah, I'll call my dad.
Speaker: And he says, all right, well, I'm gonna stay here.
Speaker: Just make sure everything's okay.
Speaker: Cause he was probably doing a public safety check.
Speaker: Cause Hey, it was July 1st.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: It was like 30,
Speaker: 3.30, 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
Speaker: So it was hot.
Speaker: It was very, very hot.
Speaker: He sees some lunatic without a state plates riding and his jacket catches on fire.
Speaker: So he's trying to make sure I'm of sound mind to be able to operate this vehicle.
Speaker: You don't want to get a call and say, hey, this guy got smoked or he went off the road.
Speaker: Yeah, it's something, right?
Speaker: So he did his welfare check and I had played a joke on Jeff and dad a couple of days earlier, which unfortunately bit me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I called dad and I said, Hey dad.
Speaker: And he goes, yes, son.
Speaker: I said, I, I have something to tell you.
Speaker: He goes, Oh, what, what did you get arrested again?
Speaker: I was like, what speaker phone with the cop right there.
Speaker: And I was like, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: My jacket caught on fire.
Speaker: He went, Oh, okay.
Speaker: Bye son.
Speaker: And he hangs up.
Speaker: And the officer looks at me and I had to explain to him the whole story about how I went to Cowboy Stadium a couple of days before.
Speaker: And I called my oldest brother and I said, Jeff, do you know any Dallas PD or Irving PD to be able to help get me out of jail?
Speaker: And Jeff's like, what?
Speaker: And then I hung up on Jeff.
Speaker: So that was a little brotherism.
Speaker: Unfortunately, um, getting, biting me back.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, that was karma.
Speaker: Yeah, you had me convinced that you had, if I remember correctly, you had taken a tour of Texas Stadium at the time, which you were allowed to do.
Speaker: And then in the middle of the tour, you kind of peeled off and ran to the 50-yard line.
Speaker: And in doing so, you were proceeded to get tackled by security and or the police officers.
Speaker: And it wasn't in the middle of a game.
Speaker: It was, it was, it may have been during off season, but your, you, you did something that was not within the scope of the tour, at which point they, they took you into custody.
Speaker: And so I was really surprised by that and, and concerned.
Speaker: And I guess you said the same thing to dad, he was really surprised and concerned, but then you told him, Oh, it was just a joke.
Speaker: So I,
Speaker: Is it fair to assume that when you called them with the jacket on fire, he was like, yeah, whatever, just like at Texas stadium click.
Speaker: I see.
Speaker: I see.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That was a Jason, that was a close call.
Speaker: Um, I, when you've told that story in the past, I always liked the way that you, you described the look on the state troopers face when he kind of looks over, you know, tips his hat or kind of, you know, gives you a wave or a nod and like a howdy.
Speaker: And then,
Speaker: And then you said he looks right behind you and his eyes get as big as can be and immediately throws the car in park, throws the lights on, jumps out.
Speaker: And yeah.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: I bet you that that officer has probably told that story hundreds of times.
Speaker: Well, this is the time that this kid almost caught on fire right in front of me.
Speaker: James, didn't you, so you and Jason took a little road trip, not in, not on his motorcycle, thank goodness, because the two of you riding however many hours that is would be very awkward as brothers.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Unless there was a sidecar.
Speaker: So you took Jason's, was it, was it one of the trucks?
Speaker: Yeah, we took the S10.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And you guys, how many hours is that drive from Minnesota to Arkansas to back?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: We tried to do it in the day.
Speaker: We left, I feel like we left like 630 in the morning.
Speaker: And I think the goal was, again, we were going to split the drive.
Speaker: And I was not familiar with, I did my best, but I was not familiar with manual at all.
Speaker: And I was definitely not a, it wasn't a, it was a floor clutch, but it was, it still was, you know, a little bit cumbersome for me.
Speaker: So I think I got an hour into it and Jason, you were like, well, you gave it the good old college try, but we pulled over, I think just crossing Iowa border and you were like,
Speaker: no i'll drive for a bit so ended up jason doing most of the driving we had so much fun actually driving all the way down listening to lots of different music lots of 80s music and stuff um and he also had a one of you have a video camera yes um i had a video camera that i brought from because i was living in california at the time this is actually right before i decided to move to minnesota uh
Speaker: So I brought the video camera with and I was filming stuff and we were just doodling around.
Speaker: Jason was singing Danger Zone and all that good stuff.
Speaker: I wasn't recording all the time, but it was also pre-podcast or pre-audiobooks.
Speaker: And we got a chance to catch up, but it was very much like the goal was to go down to see family who lived in Arkansas or whatever.
Speaker: And we made it to... I want to say we made it to St.
Speaker: Louis in...
Speaker: good time.
Speaker: We were there for before dinner time, but then it was, uh, March.
Speaker: So it was starting to get dark pretty early and we made it to the outskirts of, um, Oh my gosh, I can't remember the name now, but it was, it was in Arkansas.
Speaker: Corning, that's right.
Speaker: And, um, you know, we were, we were taking the back roads.
Speaker: I think we were probably an hour or so out of Jonesboro, which is where our grandparents live.
Speaker: And, um,
Speaker: We approached Corning and speed limit was 30, but we saw maybe in the distance some railroad tracks.
Speaker: We were just prepping for slowing down to go over the railroad tracks.
Speaker: Jason was driving.
Speaker: He slowed down to about 20 miles.
Speaker: Maybe 15.
Speaker: And it was a big hump, basically.
Speaker: It was maybe like, you know, five foot high hump.
Speaker: So we went over the first set of railroad tracks and kind of came down a little bit harder than normal, but maintaining our speed of 20 miles an hour.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And then there were two more humps, which we didn't see at the time.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And then I think by the third, we were a little bit, I was a little bit worried that we were going too fast.
Speaker: And, you know, I think we were also just kind of like laughing, but I happened to have the video camera going when we were going over these, I think, or maybe immediately after.
Speaker: We were just laughing and then after the laughter subsided we started to hear, I don't know, like a faint metal scraping.
Speaker: We weren't quite sure what it was, but I turned the video camera and he and I were just laughing.
Speaker: I think we were listening to 3-6 Mafia, Jason, am I right?
Speaker: or ugk or something yeah anyway it was one of those two nice right in corning arkansas which is again the best place to listen to that any music your favorite music um but we heard this i heard this metallic scraping and i turned the camera back and um your tailgate jason was kind of shooting up sparks and was scraping
Speaker: On the ground.
Speaker: We had slowed down enough to where it was like, I think maybe 15, 10 miles an hour, but it was enough to where you could see visible sparks coming up and it was being kind of hanging on just by that metal thread or whatever you call it, like retention cord that cable.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: One of the cables had snapped.
Speaker: So that's why it popped off.
Speaker: When you're saying it was snapped during the, on one of the bumps.
Speaker: The second set of tracks caused it to fall off of the truck.
Speaker: And then we subsequently dragged it because there was a dent about in the row in the Chevrolet.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: From where it hit.
Speaker: Or no, it was more of the Chevrolet.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So we pulled over...
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And it was at night too, right?
Speaker: So it was dark.
Speaker: It was daytime.
Speaker: No, it was daytime.
Speaker: It was daytime.
Speaker: It was afternoon, but you could see the sparks.
Speaker: Okay, but it was dark enough and the sparks were bright enough that you could see like a fan of sparks coming from dragging the tailgate.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then we got to grandpa's house and mom was there and I think a couple of people, we showed them the video and kind of goofed around and stuff.
Speaker: And then I think I either...
Speaker: lost the camera or I don't have the video anymore, but it was, you know, pre, you know, internet phone or whatever, but yeah.
Speaker: Internet phone.
Speaker: What the heck am I talking about?
Speaker: Um, the internet phone.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: For someone who, for someone who appreciates vintage and obsolete tech, I don't even know that an internet phone existed.
Speaker: A smartphone.
Speaker: Is that what you were thinking?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I think I was triggered because you said Chevrolet and something I didn't share this with you or Jason,
Speaker: Oh, see, I'm doing it again, but I didn't share this with either of you, but the same thing happened.
Speaker: Pick a brother, damn it!
Speaker: Pick a brother!
Speaker: Just pick one of us, please!
