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00:00:01
064: Organising a wedding
578 Plays2 years ago
In this episode, we interview Ayla Toyokawa, certified wedding planner and founder of WedSites, about the key steps in planning a wedding.
About Ayla
Ayla Toyokawa is a certified wedding planner and founder of WedSites, an all-in-one project management platform designed for collaboration and streamlining the wedding planning process for modern couples.
There are two types of life admin:
- Everyday life admin - occurs cyclically or seasonally - daily, weekly, monthly, annually
- Life event admin - occasional life events that trigger life admin.
If your everyday life admin isn't humming then dealing with a major life event can tip you into overdrive.
Weddings have always been a significant life event for people to manage and in the last two years since the pandemic kicked off, planning a wedding takes Olympic-level administration skills. In addition, some life events like getting married have an ongoing impact on your life admin and in our survey 27% of you identified planning a wedding as generating a significant amount of life admin so we thought we should talk with an expert.
We discuss:
- setting a budget and vision for the day
- selecting a date and contemplating a weekday wedding to save money - in particular because there have been so many weddings delayed over the past two years
- booking a venue as a key first item as it is likely to be one of the biggest expenses.
- booking a photographer, videographer and wedding planner with enough lead time
- that the average couple will spend 200-300 hours planning their wedding
- selecting a dress which can take 6-9 months to be made or 4 months even if purchased in store
- the overwhelm of so many options and the risk of the comparison trap
- that the pandemic has reduced the expectation to have a large wedding
- being prepared to have a Plan B - like reducing guest numbers or changing the date
- having a wedding website - to provide all the information for guests that can change as things evolve
- using the RSVP process to collect guest information including dietary requirements, assistance with transportation to the venue, song requests, choice of plated meals, travel plans for overseas guests, RSVP to additional events
- using checklists to remember important tasks - checklists that might be helpful include wedding planning checklist, checklist for photographer of photos you want, questions for venue, packing checklist for the actual wedding day
- using checklists to help share the load with your partner and other members of the bridal party and family members
- wedding planning is a marathon so take breaks you as you need
- plan a regular time when you will talk with your partner about wedding planning.
We also talk about the admin tasks that need to be done after the wedding including:
- thank-you notes for guests and gifts
- cleaning and/or selling wedding dress
- sharing photos with family members
- changing your name on all legal documents if you choose to change your name
- combining your finances if you choose to do that.
Recommended
Transcript
Podcast Introduction
00:00:01
Speaker
This is Life Admin Life Hacks, a podcast that gives you techniques, tips and tools to tackle your life admin more efficiently, to save your time, your money and improve your household harmony.
Meet the Hosts and Guest
00:00:13
Speaker
I'm Dinah Roe Roberts, an operations manager who is relieved that I got married before social media existed.
00:00:20
Speaker
I'm Mia Northrop, a researcher and writer. We got married in 2004 and used a hard copy wedding planner. It cardboard pockets to organise a hundred and twenty percent event. This episode we interview Isla Toyokawa, founder of Websites. Hello and welcome to Life Admin Life Hacks. Thanks to all of you who have left reviews and got in touch to tell us the positive changes you're making with your Life Admin.
00:00:44
Speaker
A shout out to Samantha who messaged us from Facebook to say, your book finally opened my eyes to the fact that I don't need to do everything for everyone anymore. Hell yes, Samantha. Okay, so to today's topic.
Everyday vs. Event Life Admin
00:00:58
Speaker
We like to say that there are two types of life admin. There's the everyday life admin that occurs cyclically or seasonally.
00:01:05
Speaker
the things that you have to deal with every day or week or month or year. And then there are life events that trigger their own life admin. If your everyday life admin isn't humming then dealing with a major life event can tip you into overdrive. Weddings have always been a significant event for people to project manage and in the last two years since the pandemic kicked off, state and international borders closed, lockdowns were triggered and social distancing and isolating are common practices
00:01:34
Speaker
So planning a wedding takes Olympic level administration skills.
Wedding Planning Challenges
00:01:38
Speaker
And then some life events like getting married have an ongoing impact on your life. And in our survey, 27% of you identified planning a wedding as generating a significant amount of admin. So we thought we should talk to an expert. So in this episode, we talked to Isla and she reveals the key steps to organize a wedding and the challenges of planning a wedding in uncertainty, like in a pandemic.
00:02:03
Speaker
and how to share the load, keep momentum and enjoy the planning process. If you're interested in how to plan a wedding efficiently and with joy, listen on.
Introducing Websites Platform
00:02:14
Speaker
Ayla Toyokawa is a certified wedding planner and founder of websites, an all-in-one project management platform designed for collaboration and streamlining the wedding planning process for modern couples. Ayla, thanks so much for coming on the show today. Thank you so much for having me. So Ayla, tell us your vision for websites. What problems were you aiming to solve by launching it?
00:02:35
Speaker
So the idea of her websites really came about when I was asked to be made of honor for my best friend who was planning a destination wedding in Hawaii. I was in Melbourne. She was in Japan at the time. And her fiance was in Washington, DC. So we were in three different countries and time zones trying to plan this wedding. And in an attempt to get organized, the bride had created a bunch of different spreadsheets, Google Docs, sign up to all these different online tools.
00:03:01
Speaker
And the techie in me just kind of thought, there has to be a better way to plan a wedding. So then I went off, I searched the internet to find something that had everything all inclusive. And unfortunately, I just couldn't find anything.
Effective Wedding Planning Tools
00:03:13
Speaker
So that was really my light bulb moment. And then from there, I wireframed the product, chatted to a bunch of different couples who had gone through the process to hear about their pain points.
00:03:22
Speaker
And then we did a beta launch with a hundred other couples alongside us who we happened to get engaged at during that time. So we planned our wedding very useful. So with us and a hundred other couples, we planned our weddings together, got a lot of great feedback, iterated the product, and we officially launched in late 2019, just before the pandemic. That's perfect timing in terms of having that all in one tool. It's going to let you do this remotely.
00:03:47
Speaker
Because you mentioned some of the tools that people use otherwise. They've kind of got spreadsheets, they've got Google Docs. What other tools do people need to really equip themselves to plan a wedding? So there's definitely going to be a checklist that's involved. And then there's a lot of things that are involved with the guest list. So keeping track of their dietary requirements, whether or not they can attend, addresses, contact information, and those bits and pieces, a run sheet of how the day is going to
Deciding on Wedding Dates
00:04:13
Speaker
flow. And there's a lot of different moving parts in a wedding.
00:04:16
Speaker
But definitely a wedding website is one of the great things that couples should definitely have to really share all of that information in one place. Absolutely.
00:04:25
Speaker
So let's talk about some of the key steps and tools you need to plan a wedding. Dinah and I kind of tag team through these questions. And I guess for me, what first of all came to mind was like people picking a date. Are there any rules of thumb that people should use or tried and true best practices about picking a date? So of course, like weekends are very popular. So some key dates to keep in mind, maybe.
00:04:49
Speaker
holidays where your guests will be spending time with their families. So end of the year is sometimes tricky, like around Christmas, or it might be beneficial because if you have out of town guests, for example, they have time to take off a holiday and they can come visit. But weekends are really useful for people because they can easily take time off. But with weddings being canceled in 2020 and 21,
00:05:10
Speaker
Unfortunately, a lot of weekend dates have already been booked out, so couples are having to maybe look into next 2023 or even maybe 2024 if they want a weekend date, or they can choose to opt for a weekday wedding date, which also has its perks.
00:05:27
Speaker
Yeah, we might see the pandemic triggered the whole new behaviors to do with weddings and the weekday wedding might become a real thing. Absolutely. I've tried
Budgeting for Weddings
00:05:37
Speaker
to take some couples who have had to move their date to a midweek wedding, but it also comes with the perks of having lower costs because it's not a popular wedding date. So that's a great way to save some money. So once you've got a date,
00:05:49
Speaker
Is this kind of the next thing you need to think of, setting a budget? And what costs do you need to think of? Absolutely. Setting a budget is the perfect place to start when it comes to planning your wedding. So some major things that will cut into your budget are, of course, the venue and catering for the reception will usually be about 50% of the budget.
00:06:08
Speaker
Then you have photography, maybe videography, the couple's wedding attire, so dresses, tuxes, hair and makeup, and any alterations that need to be made. There's music entertainment for the ceremony and the reception, flowers and decor, the officiant marriage license fees, rings, transportation costs, and all of the different stationery items like invitations, save the dates, postage costs, menus, etc.
00:06:34
Speaker
So there's a lot of different things that you can really budget for, and it's going to vary for each couple, but I would say those are the major categories that a traditional wedding would have. So what do you find that people often forget about or underestimate when it comes to setting a budget for their wedding?
00:06:49
Speaker
So most couples underestimate how much weddings actually cost because they've never done it before until they get engaged and they start looking into it. And some of the most common costs that couples are surprised by I would say are the venue and catering costs, the flowers and photography because they've never
00:07:08
Speaker
spent thousands of dollars on any of those things. And a lot of brides, I guess one of the big surprises are how much flowers cost. They have these beautiful Pinterest boards with stunning floral decorations, but when reality strikes and they realize that they're looking at this beautiful flower installation that could easily cost 10 grand.
00:07:30
Speaker
It's when reality strikes Pinterest dreams are crushed. But when it comes to when it comes to flowers and decor for the wedding, there are a lot of different ways you can save money. So things like sourcing local flowers that are in season, renting silk flowers rather than buying real ones, or maybe just choosing a venue that can stand alone and doesn't really require a lot of decorations. Another really great way to save some money there.
00:07:58
Speaker
Oh, good ideas. Is there a way to get a ballpark so you don't know whether you're like paying a premium? Is there a way to look at the cost and work out whether this is sort of the average cost of what this kind of thing should cost? You can do some research online to figure out what the average kind of cost might be, but it really depends. Like your own wedding bouquet could be anywhere from like $250 to $500, for example.
Booking Essentials
00:08:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:25
Speaker
Okay, so other than the venue, what are the other things with long lead times that you need to think about and book well in advance? So after you've booked in your date and your venue, the next supplier you should probably be thinking about are your photographer, videographer,
00:08:41
Speaker
and maybe a wedding planner or stylist if you're deciding to hire one. And the wedding industry is really made up of small businesses, often talented individuals who can only do one wedding per day. So it's really important to reach out to them early on and secure that day. And with so many weddings being postponed in 2020 and 2021, 2022 is looking like an extremely busy year for wedding vendors who are just juggling couples from the past two years.
00:09:10
Speaker
and plus the couples who are getting married and engaged this year. Yeah, I feel for them. I'm already feeling like there needs to be some kind of outreach service to the people who are going to try to support the wedding industry in 2020. They're going to be burnt out.
00:09:26
Speaker
So what do you think? Are there some jobs that often couples underestimate in terms of how long they're going to take or leave them too late so that then there's a big scramble? There's so much research that goes into wedding planning that I don't think people realize. So the average
00:09:41
Speaker
couple not working with the wedding planner will spend between 200 to 300 hours planning their wedding, which is why wedding planners are worth their weight in gold. A lot of couples get completely overwhelmed by the amount of information and options out there, which ends up being quite time-consuming.
Organizing Wedding Tasks
00:09:59
Speaker
Couples with is the ability to have this wedding website and send digital stationery. So if you need to change your date or resend invitations without additional costs of having to be postponed,
00:10:11
Speaker
There's no reprinting costs involved and you can get them out instantly rather than going through the process of addressing each envelope again, putting on another poster stamp and going to the post office. As you were saying that I was flashed back into that Seinfeld episode. You know George is getting married and he makes his fiancee lick all the stamps.
00:10:29
Speaker
Do you remember that? It doesn't end well for her. But I guess, you know, in pandemic times, you know, you send out that save the day and then you can send out that note, save this date. And then you can send out the note, let's try this date a lot more seamlessly if it's all electronic.
00:10:44
Speaker
No joke, so many couples have had to reprint their stationery and just it's another cost in their budget that they didn't expect, which is really heartbreaking. And I guess that's one of the things I really loved about your site was that electronic invitation option. So not only can you use it for rescheduling, but what else can you use it for that whole RSV process so you can make it easier for yourself and the guests?
00:11:07
Speaker
The RSVP process is such a great way to find out more about your guests to help you make better informed decisions. And this is one of my favorite wedding planning hacks. So asking for the guests dietary requirements is an absolute must. You need to relay that information to the catering team. But inside of websites, we have a RSVP questionnaire builder. So the couple can create a form to ask questions like,
00:11:31
Speaker
Do they need transportation to the venue, which will help you organize a shuttle and pick the appropriate size, one that's not too big. So you're spending too much money for a big shuttle or one that's too small. So you have awkward conversations where some people get kicked off the shuttle and you'll pick the right size. So you'll spend money on the appropriate vehicle size. Any song requests that guests have, that's going to guarantee you to get them on the dance floor. So you can give that to your DJ.
00:11:55
Speaker
So important, so important plated meals if you're having plated meals options for your reception, being able to give that to the catering team is going to streamline things for you. If you have any out of town guests who are flying internationally, you could ask them when they're going to be flying in or out of the country to see if you can
00:12:12
Speaker
organize some time to spend with them since they're coming all the way from far away. And if you are organizing any additional events like a hens or a rehearsal dinner or maybe a post recovery brunch or something, you can figure out how many people are going to be able to attend those events and then plan accordingly. So my tip for couples is to really use that RSVP process to get answers to the questions you need to make better wedding decisions. That's really sadly.
00:12:39
Speaker
We also saw that you've got some checklists. We love a checklist. This is sort of the way to adult, basically, the way to adulting. And you've got a suggested checklist of photos for your photographer. How about us through that? Ooh, yes, the shot list. So any, a good photographer will know exactly what shots to take, but it can be really helpful if the couple has a list with names of family and friend groups that they want to take photos with, or maybe a
00:13:04
Speaker
some sentimental items that they want close-up shots of. So that's really useful to have between the ceremony and the reception so you can get those group photos. Someone can shout out the names of the people and get them together to take those photos. And every couple needs a really good wedding planning checklist.
00:13:20
Speaker
Web sites creates a personalized digital checklist for you based on your date, but you can easily look up like a 12 month wedding planning checklist to figure out what exactly you need to do. And the average engagement period is about 10 to 18 months.
00:13:35
Speaker
And wedding planning is truly a marathon. It's not a sprint. You can easily burn out trying to do everything at once. So it's important to kind of look at that checklist and pace yourself and take breaks when you need it. But some other really good checklist to have are a list of criteria or questions to ask a potential venue. This one's really important because the venue is a big part of your wedding budget. And it's going to set the tone for the day. So maybe asking things like,
00:14:04
Speaker
Do they allow candles or confetti or pets allowed on site if you want to have your pet at the wedding? Is there a plan B if there's rain? Are you okay with that plan B? What does it look like? And are you happy with it? Are you allowed to bring your own alcohol? Is there a corkage fee? Is there a place for the bridal party to get ready at the venue? Are there any noise restrictions or a time when the music needs to be turned off? And there's honestly heaps of things that you need to be aware of when booking a venue.
00:14:34
Speaker
And if anyone wants a list of these questions, we have it on our blog because the venue is a really big one. So that's definitely a checklist that I highly recommend couples to have. But then I guess in terms of kind of just delegating tasks, giving a checklist to your bridal party is a great way for a bit of accountability so everyone knows what they're responsible for.
00:14:54
Speaker
And then another really good one to have in advance is a packing list for your wedding day. The last couple of weeks and the months leading up to your wedding day just fly by so quickly. And there's so many different things to think about. So having a packing list makes it easy for you to just check off all the things you need without much thought. So that's going to be like all your getting ready outfits, snacks, chargers, sentimental items, extra copies.
Involving Partners and Family
00:15:19
Speaker
chargers, phone chargers, camera chargers, any gifts and decor items. That's a big one. So if you have these DIY projects or decor items to have a list of that so you know you're taking it to the venue. And also if you're delegating someone to pack up those items for you so they can look over those items and make sure that they have packed away those items and can deliver it back to you. So you can either return it to the supplier that you've rented it from or a friend that you've borrowed it from.
00:15:49
Speaker
Because I've always thought, I'm not going to get married again. And I thought, maybe it sounds much more easy now. It sounds easy now. It's all these checklists ready to go. Oh, funny. If it ever happens, I know where I'm going. I'm so happy. So you've touched on that idea of sharing the load, you know, having a checklist so that you can delegate things. And I guess the sort of stereotype out there is that in different sex couples, it's the bride who's doing most of the planning.
00:16:17
Speaker
How do you get, regardless of the gender of your partner, how do you get your partner to do their fair share?
00:16:23
Speaker
Ooh, so this is a tricky one because you're right. I do hear a lot of brides complaining about how their grooms don't take on a lot of the load. I have talked to some grooms who are very much heavily involved in the process. Maybe it's because we're a tech platform and they feel like this is where they can shine. So they come to us and they take on the wedding website portion of it. But there's also those brides who want the control. So they're happy to do the planning. But I would say a really great way to get your partner involved
00:16:52
Speaker
is maybe delegating which suppliers they're responsible for. And that works really well if let's say that one partner is more interested in booking the best band or the DJ. So you send them off to find that supplier and just tasks to take on. So whether it's buying the alcohol and taking it to the venue or having someone else take it to the venue.
00:17:13
Speaker
As a tip for couples though, when it comes to wedding planning, I really recommend them to book it in their calendar as like a date night where they can do wedding planning. Because otherwise it just kind of takes over your life and it gets really overwhelming and stressful and not fun. And that's really what we don't want. We want to make it a fun, memorable experience and not this like stressful thing that we need to talk about kind of a tone. But aside from your partner, I'm all for brides and we're couples to really ask for help.
00:17:41
Speaker
by delegating certain tasks to friends and family as well. And of course the big decisions are hard to delegate, like finding suppliers, but some things that are easy to delegate are things like having things delivered to the venue or having guests picked up from the airport, dropping off things to the post office, finishing up DIY projects, or setting up decor at the venue, or rounding up guests for those photos.
00:18:06
Speaker
Yeah, that's their great tips and you need to keep in mind that, you know, usually the family members or friends are dying to help and want to be involved. So sometimes it can be useful to be strategic because you know someone, you know, there might be a parent, there might be a mum who's desperate to get involved and help organize the wedding.
00:18:23
Speaker
and think about what tasks they can take on. That's so true.
Post-Wedding Tasks
00:18:27
Speaker
Keep things ticking along without driving other people bananas. Absolutely. I think a lot of couples don't realize that their guests are really, they really want to get involved and help, but they're either scared of asking or they don't want to inconvenience their guests. I also love the tip about having a regular time in the schedule.
00:18:46
Speaker
We're a big fan of, you know, having things in the calendar so that you're clear when you can have that dedicated time to sit down and address those tasks. So you're not worrying the whole time about when you're going to get to it and giving visibility to it and just increasing the chances of having it done because it blocked out that time in advance. Exactly. And it helps clear that brain space as well to kind of just have that time to just, okay, this is when we're going to talk about wedding planning and this is when we're going to get it done. Otherwise let's not think about it and let's just live our lives.
00:19:14
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And I really liked the idea of pairing it with something enjoyable. We love that too. Like thinking about having it as a date night or having a bottle of wine so that, yeah, you can look back with fond memories rather than feel tortured by the presents. So Ayla, when the big day is over, the life admin just isn't finished. What's some of the tasks that need to be done after the big day? After the wedding date. Unfortunately, you do have things that you still need to take care of so that things that come to mind
00:19:41
Speaker
First of all, are the writing all the thank you notes. Thank you to the guests for coming to the wedding and any gifts that they have bought for you. So as a tip, having someone record what those gifts were is a really great idea. Having your dress cleaned after the wedding date. Some brides even decide to sell their dress after the wedding date. So that's something to consider. Sharing the official wedding photos with family and guests who
00:20:03
Speaker
are dying to see those things. So that's a big one. And then this is a personal choice, but changing your legal name means, you know, having your driver's license changed, your passport, your Medicare, your bank details, tax details, any utility bills that requires a whole heap of admin. So that's a, that's a really, really big one. And on that, have you come across any apps or checklists that make that easy? Because
00:20:27
Speaker
I know when I went through that process, it took about two years, I think, to actually get my name changed everywhere. And I know some people who just like, they get to a point where there's a certain account or a certain piece of ID and it's just too hard and they never do it. I know in, I'm not sure about in Australia, but I have seen in the US that there are some services that will do that for you. Hmm. Okay. You might want to invent that for Australia Isla because it's a need. Definitely a need.
00:20:56
Speaker
Yeah. And I did actually look it up in the stats about 80% of women in Australia still do take their husband's name. So yeah, there's a lot of people who are impacted by that. I think anything to make that easier would be a win.
00:21:09
Speaker
Actually, some people don't change their name because it's nothing to do with their ethics. They just can't be bothered doing the paperwork. Right. Heaps of paperwork. And then, of course, there's the finances as well, creating new bank accounts. Maybe if you want to create a joint account or combining finances and having that talk is a big one.
00:21:26
Speaker
And you think that after the wedding planning's done, you're finally done. But yeah, there are a lot of things to think about. And, but ideally you'll have gone on your honeymoon and relaxed a bit so you can come back refreshed and tackle all this stuff. Yeah. And I guess from, you know, obviously you have a marriage certificate or before we even get married, you had in Australia, you have to fill out a notice of intended marriage form. So that needs to go to the marriage celebrant at least a month before you're going to get married.
00:21:52
Speaker
And then obviously, after the ceremony itself, you have your marriage certificate, which is a legal document. You get the legal one. You can order the fancy cute one. I don't know what you do with the fancy cute one. I've got a fancy cute one. I don't know what I was thinking I was going to do with it. But they need to be filed and stored somewhere as well, somewhere safe for future ID. Absolutely.
00:22:13
Speaker
I think one of the life admin tasks that happened now that perhaps didn't happen as much when we got married is that increasingly photographers you get options like some photographers will still give you the album but I think more and more photographers you can just buy the digital prints and so then you've actually got a job of what you're actually going to do with them and so
00:22:33
Speaker
I think my tip is think about using that same time that you were using to plan your wedding to actually do something with those photos.
Final Advice and Resources
00:22:39
Speaker
If you spend a lot of money on them, you know, you really want to be able to see them and to enjoy them. So really make sure that you schedule in that time to produce an album or get some frames printed or share them as you talked about. I love because otherwise what a waste if you have spent all that money. Great tip. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and ideas with us today.
00:23:00
Speaker
We're going to have a really action-packed show notes here linking out to all of the references that Ayla has mentioned.
00:23:06
Speaker
Is there anything else you want to leave us with for people to keep in mind or equip themselves with? For anyone who is planning a wedding, just, you know, take a deep breath and just realize that, you know, there's all the little tiny details that you can get really caught up with, especially if you're like a perfectionist. But at the end of the day, your wedding day is going to be perfect no matter what. So just remember that and just remember to take breaths and take breaks during the wedding planning process.
00:23:31
Speaker
Isla, that's been such a pleasure. Thank you. Where can our listeners find you if they want to hear more? Yes, thanks so much for having me. If anyone listening wants to learn more about websites, you can go to W-E-D-S-I-T-E-S. So that's websites.com. And you can learn about the different tools we offer on our website to help streamline the wedding planning process. And we also have a live chat on our website if anyone wants to get in touch with me. And we're across all the different social media networks, Instagram, Facebook, and
00:23:59
Speaker
Pinterest at websites if anyone wants to connect there. Thanks so much, Isla. It's been a pleasure chatting with you today. Thank you so much. Thanks for listening. Show notes for this episode are available at lifeadminlifehacks.com. And if you're a fan, please subscribe and share the love and tell a friend or review us in your podcasting app. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
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Speaker
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00:25:15
Speaker
sentimental items, extra copies, chargers, phone chargers, camera chargers, any gifts and decor items. That's a big one. So if you have these DIY projects or decor items to have a list of that so you know you're taking it to the venue. And also if you're delegating someone to pack up those items for you so they can look over those items and make sure that they have packed away those items and can deliver it back to you. So you can either
00:25:41
Speaker
return it to the supplier that you've rented it from or a friend that you've borrowed it from. I just had a funny thought because I've always thought I'm not going to get married again. And I thought maybe it sounds much more easy now. It sounds easy. It's all these checklists ready to go. Oh, funny. If it ever happens, I know where I'm going. I'm so happy. So you've touched on that idea of sharing the load, you know, having a checklist so that you can delegate things
00:26:09
Speaker
And I guess the sort of stereotype out there is that in different sex couples, it's the bride who's doing most of the planning. How do you get regardless of the gender of your partner, how do you get your partner to do their fair share? Oh, so this is a tricky one because you're right. I do hear a lot of complaining about how their grooms don't take on a lot of the load. I have talked to some grooms who are very much
00:26:32
Speaker
heavily involved in the process. Maybe it's because we're a tech platform and they feel like this is where they can shine. So they come to us and they take on the wedding website portion of it. But there's also those brides who want the control. So they're happy to do the planning. But I would say a really great way to get your partner involved
00:26:50
Speaker
is maybe delegating which suppliers they're responsible for. And that works really well if let's say that one partner is more interested in booking the best band or the DJ. So you send them off to find that supplier and just tasks to take on. So whether it's buying the alcohol and taking it to the venue or having someone else take it to the venue.
00:27:12
Speaker
As a tip for couples though, when it comes to wedding planning, I really recommend them to book it in their calendar as like a date night where they can do wedding planning. Because otherwise it just kind of takes over your life and it gets really overwhelming and stressful and not fun. And that's really what we don't want. We want to make it a fun, memorable experience and not this like stressful thing that we need to talk about kind of a tone. But aside from your partner, I'm all for brides and for couples to really ask for help.
00:27:40
Speaker
by delegating certain tasks to friends and family as well. And of course, the big decisions are hard to delegate, like finding suppliers. But some things that are easy to delegate are things like having things delivered to the venue or having guests picked up from the airport, dropping off things to the post office, finishing up DIY projects, or setting up decor at the venue, or rounding up guests for those photos.
00:28:05
Speaker
Yeah, that's, they're great tips and you need to keep in mind that, you know, usually the family members or friends, they're dying to help. They want to be involved. So sometimes it can be useful to be strategic because you know someone, you know, there might be a parent, there might be a mum who's desperate to get involved and help organize the wedding.
00:28:22
Speaker
and think about what tasks they can take on. That's so true. Keep things ticking along without driving other people bananas. Absolutely. I think a lot of couples don't realize that their guests are really, they really want to get involved and help, but they're either scared of asking or they don't want to inconvenience their guests. I also love the tip about having a regular time in the schedule. We're a big fan of having things in the calendar so that you're clear.
00:28:49
Speaker
when you can have that dedicated time to sit down and address those tasks. So you're not worrying the whole time about when you're going to get to it and giving visibility to it and just increasing the chances of having it done because it blocked out that time in advance. Exactly. And it helps clear that brain space as well to kind of just have that time to just, okay, this is when we're going to talk about wedding planning and this is when we're going to get it done. Otherwise, let's not think about it and let's just live our lives.
00:29:13
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And I really liked the idea of pairing it with something enjoyable. We love that too, like thinking about having it as a date night or having a ball of wine so that yeah, you can look back with fond memories rather than feel tortured by the prisoners. So Ayla, when the big day is over, the life admin just isn't finished. What's some of the tasks that need to be done after the big day? After the wedding date. Unfortunately, you do have things that you still need to take care of so that things that come to mind
00:29:40
Speaker
First of all, are the writing all the thank you notes. Thank you to the guests for coming to the wedding and any gifts that they have bought for you. So as a tip, having someone record what those gifts were is a really great idea. Having your dress cleaned after the wedding date. Some brides even decide to sell their dress after the wedding date. So that's something to consider. Sharing the official wedding photos with family and guests who
00:30:02
Speaker
are dying to see those things so that's a big one and then this is a personal choice but changing your legal name means you know having your driver's license changed your passport your medicare your bank details tax details any utility bills that requires a whole heap of admin so that's a that's a really really big one and on that have you come across any apps or checklists that make that easy because
00:30:26
Speaker
I know when I went through that process, it took about two years, I think, to actually get my name changed everywhere. And I know some people who just like, they get to a point where there's a certain account or a certain piece of ID and it's just too hard and they never do it. I know in, I'm not sure about in Australia, but I have seen in the US that there are some services that will do that for you. Hmm. Okay. You might want to invent that for Australia Isla because it's a need. Definitely a need.
00:30:55
Speaker
Yeah. And I did actually look it up in the stats about 80% of women in Australia still do take their husband's name. So yeah, there's a lot of people who are impacted by that. I think anything to make that easier would be a win.
00:31:08
Speaker
Actually, some people don't change their name because it's nothing to do with their ethics. They just can't be bothered doing the paperwork. Right. Heaps of paperwork. And then, of course, there's the finances as well, creating new bank accounts. Maybe if you want to create a joint account or combining finances and having that talk is a big one. And you think that after the wedding planning is done, you're finally done. But yeah, there are a lot of things to think about. But ideally, you'll have gone on your honeymoon and relaxed a bit so you can come back refreshed and tackle all this stuff.
00:31:37
Speaker
Yeah. And I guess from, you know, obviously you have a marriage certificate or before we even get married, you had in Australia, you have to fill out a notice of intended marriage form. So that needs to go to the marriage celebrant at least a month before you're going to get married. And then obviously after the ceremony itself, you have your marriage certificate, which is a legal document. You get the legal one. You can order the fancy cute one that's, uh, I don't know what you do with the fancy cute one. I've got a fancy cute one. I don't know what I was thinking I was going to do with it.
00:32:07
Speaker
they need to be filed and stored somewhere as well somewhere safe for future ID. Absolutely and I think one of the life admin tasks that happened now that perhaps didn't happen as much me when we got married is that increasingly photographers you get options like some photographers will still give you the album but I think more and more photographers you can just buy the digital prints and so then you've actually got a job of what you're actually going to do with them and so
00:32:32
Speaker
I think my tip is think about using that same time that you were using to plan your wedding to actually do something with those photos. If you spend a lot of money on them, you know, you really want to be able to see them and to enjoy them. So really make sure that you schedule in that time to produce an album or get some frames printed or share them as you talked about, Isla, because otherwise what a waste if you have spent all that money. Great tip. Isla, thank you so much for sharing your experience and ideas with us today.
00:32:59
Speaker
We're going to have a really action-packed show notes here linking out to all of the references that Ayla's mentioned.
00:33:05
Speaker
Is there anything else you want to leave us with for people to keep in mind or equip themselves with? For anyone who is planning a wedding, just, you know, take a deep breath and just realize that, you know, there's all the little tiny details that you can get really caught up with, especially if you're like a perfectionist. But at the end of the day, your wedding day is going to be perfect no matter what. So just remember that and just remember to take breath and take breaks during the wedding planning process.
00:33:30
Speaker
Isla, that's been such a pleasure. Thank you. Where can our listeners find you if they want to hear more? Yes, thanks so much for having me. If anyone listening wants to learn more about websites, you can go to W-E-D-S-I-T-E-S. So that's websites.com. And you can learn about the different tools we offer on our website to help streamline the wedding planning process. And we also have a live chat on our website if anyone wants to get in touch with me. And we're across all the different social media networks, Instagram, Facebook, and
00:33:58
Speaker
Pinterest at websites if anyone wants to connect there. Thanks so much, Isla. It's been a pleasure chatting with you today. Thank you so much. Thanks for listening. Show notes for this episode are available at lifeadminlifehacks.com. And if you're a fan, please subscribe and share the love and tell a friend or review us in your podcasting app. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
00:34:26
Speaker
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Speaker
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