Transcript
Speaker: Hi everybody, Mark here. Thanks for listening to the podcast. and Before we get started... Today's contestants and I would like to Dedicate this episode with love and respect to Tom Chadburn, who sadly passed away after we recorded this in July.
Speaker: Obviously we think he's amazing in City of Death. and he will be missed. Bye bye, Duggan.
Speaker: On today's episode of The First Question, are you telling me an alien's trying to steal the Mona Lisa? Should we take the lift or fly? What are you doing here? To be or not to be. Is that the question?
Speaker: Well, it's not the first question anyway. This. is the first question.
Speaker: Hello. And welcome to The First Question, the podcast where we talk about a Doctor Who story and then make up a game show about it. I'm Mark Harrison, your Quizmaster, and a little audio tour guide on your earpod in your ear for this episode.
Speaker: adventure in space and time and quizzes and that the trivial pursuit cheese wheel console that makes this podcast fly demands art and literature and it's also saying it's about time we go for some old testament doctor who instead of all this new who So where better to go this week than 1979's City of Death, an art heist story written by an uncredited Douglas Adams. The TARDIS is parked in Paris in 1979 and who do we find outside the police box? Is it John Cleese and Eleanor Braun? No, it's two librarians, today's wonderfully air -functional contestants. First,
Speaker: She's an author and a podcaster. Seen purely as a piece of art, her structure of line and colour is curiously counterpointed by the redundant vestiges of her function. It's Lucy McCall. Welcome, Lucy. Are you ready to chat about art and literature and Doctor Who?
Speaker: I will do when i've just when I've worked out whether I've just been insulted or not. ah Next, since he has no call to be here, the art lies in the fact that he is here. He's a writer and a podcaster from the Library of Impossible Things. It's Cy Hart. Cy, you and I share a favourite classic series story here, so before we get into them in tell us, in a line.
Speaker: why you love City of Death so much. How can you sum it up in a line? It's just exquisite. Absolutely exquisite. Yeah, great. We're all on the same page then. We've all rewatched this story recently, but for the listeners at home, here's everything you need to know about City of Death in 66 seconds. Sixty -six seconds. That seems very, very exclusive. Start the clock.
Speaker: Broadcast on BBC One from 29th September to 20th October 1979, City of Death is the second serial of Doctor Who's 17th season. The credited writer was David Agnew, the director was Michael Hayes and it stars Tom Baker and Lala Watt. Guest stars include Julian Glover, Tom Chapman, Katherine Schell and David Graham.
Speaker: The story sees the Fourth Doctor and Romana II investigate disturbances in time during a holiday day in Paris. They discover that the powerful Count Carlo Scalioni is actually one of twelve personas of Scaroth, last of the Jagaroth, who funds time travel research by pulling off audacious heists and selling multiple copies of art and artefacts to unscrupulous private collectors. His latest target is the Mona Lisa and he has six copies of the portrait, all painted by Leonardo da Vinci. The Doctor is friends with Leonardo and drops in to write this as a fake on the extra canvas and felt tip pen and also mentions helping William Shakespeare to finish writing Hamlet after he sprained his wrist writing sonnets.
Speaker: The first Doctor Who story filmed outside of the UK, City of Death scored high ratings on press broadcasts due to industrial action taking ITV off air at the time. Episode 4 is still the most watchable video episode ever with 16 .1 million viewers tuning in. Among fandom, however, it took a little while longer for the story to be reassessed as a classic.
Speaker: but to our contest today i think it's a classic let's let's get into chatting about this um so lucy What are your thoughts on City of Death? I... I really like it. I don't have a lot of time for conspiracy, well I don't have any time for conspiracy theories in general, but a conspiracy theory around the Mona Lisa having this is a fake in felt -tip pen written underneath it.
Speaker: In contrast to, say, Dan Brown's Tile of Conspiracy Theories, I can get behind. and ah The cast as a whole, i really I really like. I like the setting. Paris. um The version of the Mona Lisa they've got is terrible, though. They could have had a better reproduction. But yeah, no, I i really enjoy it. And I like the, I i don't. as well. I don't generally like the sort of people split over the centuries kind of.
Speaker: idea but I think it works well here. Um, because it's quite straightforward. It's quite straightforwardly presented.
Speaker: yeah they use There's not too much fuss and bother about it. And it means you end up with more than one Julian Glover, so what's not to like? Yeah, he's fabulous in this, isn't he? He's truly one of the best ever guest star villains I've ever had in it. The suaveness of it. I mean, this is a couple of years before he would actually play a Bond villain, but it's it's a nice take off of that. Just this terrible aristocrat who's so you know it's absolutely...
Speaker: immoral and you know completely narcissistic and focused on his own ends. Si, I can tell you're itching to get into this, what tell tell so tell us the story of you in City of Death. Why do you love this story so much? Well... City of Death was the second story I saw back in 1979. And it's a bit of a shame, really, because then Doctor Who peaked and it was never, ever as good as this ever again. um So this story made...
Speaker: um an indelible mark on my my psyche aged four and particularly i think when it was repeated the following summer in 1980, that was it. um this was always the one that was was my favorite so um I...
Speaker: recently found some um notebooks. from 1980 that my mum had kept. very carefully, and in it are multiple drawings of Scaroff.
Speaker: as for as a five -year -old that that i did so it just shows what an impact this story had and Then seeing it again in... um 1991 when the video came out for the first time it was just like Wow, I was right all these years. This is amazing. It's just got everything. It's got Paris in the springtime. It's got Dudley Simpson's greatest ever score for Doctor Who, perhaps one of the greatest scores for Doctor Who ever.
Speaker: I can remember being at the 50th anniversary prom at the Albert Hall when they did the classic series medley. I had no idea what was coming up. And then there's just this little passage of the running around Paris music.
Speaker: And it makes me i was like It really sort of... took me sort of right back all the all those years you know the running through paris music everyone knows that's sort of the lyric the lyrics to that music, isn't it? Just rolling through Paris. It's beautiful.
Speaker: Yeah, it's just something about the story that... doesn't matter how many times i see it there's something new every time that i spot something something amazing and you've got tom baker and lala ward at the height of their affair sort of behind the scenes so they're completely loved up completely in sync and Just want my favourite TARDIS team. so yeah it's still And it's so clever and witty and...
Speaker: brilliantly plotted considering Douglas Adams and Graham Williams wrote it in a weekend. That doesn't show at all. It's just... The greatest. of them all. This was an early and classic series story for me as well. It's one of the first ones I watched. when I was kind of trying to hoover up whatever I could after the first Christopher Eccleston series. This is sort of where it... Clicked.
Speaker: for me. And like, certainly I think this, like looking back at it now, it's odd how like this is, this feels so influential on the new series, just like the way that it's so. boutsy And, you know, not to say that it always gets up to the level ah of wit.
Speaker: but it's still very much in a classic series thing. as much as i'm i'm not going to I'm not going to slam this one, so don't worry, I love it too. good But is it is a thing, when you watch it, it does have the catch and release thing that classic series serials do.
Speaker: But, you know, i amped up almost to the point of parody. It's like they cannot be put in a room anywhere without... walking out of it a couple of minutes later. And it sort of, like, it bounces the plot along. Or, you know, there's stuff like they're held at gunpoint by Duggan so they can have a conversation with Duggan. And then Herman comes and holds them at gunpoint as well. You know, so it has that those sort of, like... valleys but it's so well it's so densely plotted with jokes and everything So if you had to narrow it down to favourite scenes, favourite moments, favourite performances, what would you say, Lucy, is your favourite bit from this?
Speaker: I think when Count Tancredi walks out. And says... I should be asking you that question, Doctor. It's a fab cliffhanger, isn't it? It's a brilliant cliffhanger because it really is a cliffhanger that needs to be resolved. urgently and you had to wait till the next episode for it. It's that thing again of if you're going to do this as a new series two -parter, that would be...
Speaker: the you know the moffatty sort of cliffhanger that sends it spiraling off in a different direction to the story you thought you were watching it's a great like midpoint of the story what about you so I would go for the first cliffhanger which is amazing but there's one scene that that really sat in my memory.
Speaker: um from the original broadcast. And that's the bit where... um The Countess! Um, goes to the wall. and pulls out the Egyptian scroll.
Speaker: And she gradually I'm... I'm... unrolls it to reveal all the Egyptian gods. And then at the end, there's Scaroff there. in the Egyptian garb.
Speaker: And that... That image stayed with me for all those years. It's a... brilliant moment and it's just the the shocked look on her face where she realizes that everything the doctor has said is absolutely true um Brilliant, really great moment.
Speaker: Yeah. It's cracking again. and like i I always forget that's coming somehow. And then it turns up and I'm again just like, ooh. Every time it there's a light of that moment, it's great. For me, like we've talked about Julian Glover already. like That's a fabulous performance. I think it goes without saying. I'd like to single out Tom Chadman's performance as Duggan.
Speaker: who I think ranks among you know those great companion characters. We never had. Imagine the rest of season 17 and season 18, but it's they never pick up Badrick. It's just Duggan. Smashing things. Yeah, smashing things. That could be something. you know but it would It would make a contrast. He's just like their overgrown kid, and so it goes in this story. For for single scenes, I think the scene like this is so witty and funny all the way through.
Speaker: I think the single funniest scene in all of Doctor Who, like the one that's so packed with gags, is the scene where they bring... the Doctor, Romana and Duggan to the Chateau and it's just that scene of them all in the living room and there's so many great lines and jokes.
Speaker: all packed into i say what a wonderful butler he's so violent and it's just line after line after line built into that you know like i don't think he's as stupid as he seems my dear nobody could be as stupid as he seems it's so like Episode 2 in general is a great single episode of Classic Who. It does everything you want Classic Who to do. and completely tips the story.
Speaker: on its head so we're all Big enthusiasts for this story. It seems as good as any story to it adapt into a game show. am So... We're going to sort of take this as our inspiration and do the pilot for what the City of Death quiz show will be. This is what the first question is. We take Doctor Who stories and we adapt to them. into game shows. So there's lots we can do with this.
Speaker: we're going with that in literature because as i say it's it's It's written by David Agnew, but... You know, credit it to David Agnew, but it's it's Douglas Adams. writing the scripts on a drunk weekend from a story by David Fisher. There's Paris, there's art, there's references to Shakespeare. What else are we going to do about art and literature? So that's where I'm at. What I want to ask you to, because you'll be working together at first for the first four rounds.
Speaker: before we pick a winner of the episode. um So you'll be working as a team. Do you have any pub quiz style team name ideas? Si, we'll come to you first. Wow. Lucy, we're both librarians so we've got to get something librarian -y.
Speaker: into our team name really haven't we we've got that in common um I don't know. I mean, I had ah a sort of a suggestion that we might be the impossible librarians because your library is the library of impossible things and I'm often quite difficult to get on with. love that well I think that's a goer then yeah
Speaker: Perfect. The impossible librarians it is. So in this story, we see Scarath doing various nefarious things to raise funds for his time travel experiments. and Can I ask, what would each of you do if you won some money today? Lucy? um What, nefariously? Oh, what would you do with the money? I mean, if you won some money. With the money? Oh, God. Well...
Speaker: is the boring things like paying off the mortgage, for instance. um Have a very nice holiday somewhere. That would be nice. Si, how about you? What would you do if you won some money today?
Speaker: well it depends how much it is if there was enough i'd love to get myself a full -size canine to trundle around my flat. That's always been the dream. I wouldn't do anything sensible. Not all by his absence in this story, but yeah.
Speaker: He is, yeah. A nice holiday, a full -size K9. That all sounds great. I really hope you do win some money today, you know, after this, because as always, there's no cash prize for winning the first question.
Speaker: I'm just coming here for the cash prizes, Mark. It's no good. What we have instead is, for the winner for the winner of the episode, is a Mona Lisa. One of several. We've got Mona Lisas coming out of our ears in this quiz. Runner -up price, probably also on Mona Lisa. How does that sound to both of you?
Speaker: That sounds ideal. Yep. Lovely. Okay, here's how the game sure works. This five -round rapid of questions and games to play where Sai and Lucy, the impossible librarians, will work together to build points for the first four rounds and then face off in a final head -to -head. The six -sided console is revving up. The first question is about to get going.
Speaker: Should we take the lift or fly? Or let's not be ostentatious. Let's take the left. Let's not be ascetic. Let's fly there. Let's let's say main warp thrust to Power 3 and get this quiz going after the break.
Speaker: There is a way to draw by remote control. It is called Etch -a -Sketch. Simply turning the dials makes lines appear on the screen. It is like magic. With a little skill and imagination amazing drawings can be created.
Speaker: Hi, I've just discovered I can increase the power of my prime by five times in 111 seconds. Office automation. Revolution. Accounting. No more books. around A round of panic communications instantly.
Speaker: I can design ships around power stations. Oil! Gas! Where would the energy industry be without Prime? Ask it how to handle a woman. It just gets upside down and the screen clears.
Speaker: Clever prime you can say that again clever prime
Speaker: With his familiar pint of skull, Trevor looks like a normal scholar, but he is in fact a hyper -intelligent mega -being from a distant galaxy, which means he can score 180 at darts. with his eyes closed.
Speaker: Keep the space invaders at their own game. Peace. Oh, no. It's Grandma. He even transmit telepathic commands.
Speaker: Naturally, Skull can't turn you into a hyper -intelligent mega -being with superpowers. But when you know Lager... You're a scholar.
Speaker: This is a fake. This is a fan.
Speaker: This is a fake.
Speaker: Welcome to the first questions. City of Deaths Edition. Round one is called... geographically or philosophically. 400 million years ago, the vicious, callous Jagaroth wipe each other out in a massive war. Some of them escape to primeval Earth in a crippled spaceship where they attempt to launch using their warp drive. Scaroth. Not yet, last of the Jagaroth, is in the warp control cabin when the ship explodes. And he's really very sore about it for the next few hundred millennia.
Speaker: What he never mentions, though, is that the arts and crafts room is right next to the warp control cabin. And then there with su arthur jaarov mind in Mind your own business. reading books, making stuff. and they also got held into the time vortex. by the explosion In Paris 1979, Sairoth. and Lucy Roth are the third or fourth last of the Jagaroth. And they live in the sub -basement of Count Scalioni's chateau.
Speaker: Funding his time travel experiments, he's already spent all of the money you both made from the US TV series Mission Impossible, designing incredibly lifelike human faces that look like crap rubber masks just as soon as you take them off.
Speaker: The questions for round one have been splintered in the explosion as well. So there's two questions for every possible answer. as discerning cultured jagger off you've at least got a lot of earth art and literature to think about But as Si and Lucy, contestants on this podcast... You also know a lot about Doctor Who.
Speaker: You'll take it in turn so you can answer the first question for two points or ask for the Doctor Who related question with the same answer for one point. How does that sound? Okay. All good? Okay, we'll call you lu we'll call you Lucy and Cy for short, rather than Lucy Roth and Cy Roth. Lucy, you first alphabetically by first names. That's just how it works on quizzes, sorry. So fine you can go first. okay So for two points.
Speaker: Which artist created the 1890 painting in The Church at Auvers? At which artist created the 1890 painting The Church at Auvers? Um...
Speaker: Fine girl. Vincent Wengel
Speaker: Vincent van Gogh. We'll see if you're right for two points. We'll give you the Doctor Who question first, which is, which artist painted The Pandorica Opens in The Pandorica Opens? Would you like to stick with van Gogh? Yeah I think so.
Speaker: It is Vincent Van Gogh. Van Gogh, Van Gogh. One of those. They pronounce it differently in Doctor Who. and I've not pronounced anything like the way I pronounced it, I know, but never mind. My apologies to Dutch people. We're all pronouncing it differently on this podcast. Si, would you like to have a bash, a different pronunciation? of god No, no, I'd have gone with Van Gogh, so... Okay. So two big points to Lucy. Great start. So two points in the pot. So Agnes Hathaway is the main character in which historical novel by Maggie O 'Farrell.
Speaker: Agnes Hathaway is the main character in which historical novel by Maggie O 'Farrell? I'm going to... Go for the Doctor Who version of the question, please. You'd like the Doctor Who question? The Doctor Who question. In the Shakespeare Code, what does William Shakespeare tell Martha Jones his late son was called?
Speaker: Or Hamnet, of course. It is Hamlet, it's a Matthew O 'Farrell novel, and also a thing Dean Lex Kelly says in Doctor Who. Welcome to the first question, where this is the sort of thing we do.
Speaker: Lucy. Another art question for you, this one. And we we're covering all types of arts, which is why question the next question is... The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, who wears an orange bandana,
Speaker: is named after which renaissance artist? So which renaissance artist shares his name with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle who wears an orange bandana? I'm going to say Leonardo.
Speaker: You're going to go with Leonardo. Would you like the Doctor Who question? i I better had, but just to be on the safe side. Okay, the Doctor Who question is, according to the 11th Doctor, who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel despite being afraid of heights?
Speaker: Oh, Michelangelo in that case. Michelangelo it is. Not very up on teenage turtles, I'm afraid. There is that, yeah. But um yeah, one point. never Nevertheless, one point for getting it on the Doctor Who question. So...
Speaker: Lemuel. is the first name of which eponymous literary character created by Jonathan Swift? Lemuel. L -E -M -U -E -L It's the first name. of which character created by Jonathan Swift?
Speaker: Gulliver. We went for Gulliver for two points. Would you like the duck to hit the question? Well, it better have. Better hear it anyway, since you've gone to all the effort of writing it. I mean, yeah, you could just say no, but it wouldn't be much of a Doctor Who quiz podcast, would it? Yeah.
Speaker: Which fictional character is played by Bernard Horsfall in The Mind Robber? Are you sticking with Gulliver? I'm sticking with Gulliver. Two big points for Gulliver. Well done, Si. Okay, looking good so far. A few more questions to go in this round. Lucy. Exit through the gift shop.
Speaker: is a 2010 documentary directed by which artist? Thank you. Straight in with Banksy. For one point, the Doctor Who question would be... And Rosa. The 13th Doctor neither confirms nor denies that she is witch artist.
Speaker: Thanks. Checking with Banksy. Yeah. Banksy's correct for two points for Lucy. Well done. So. Which author wrote six novels under the pseudonym Mary Westmacott? at which Arthur wrote six novels under the pseudonym Mary Westmacott.
Speaker: Agatha Christie. it's a strong answer for two points do you want to hear the doctor who question any idea what the doctor who question might be about Might it be about the unicorn and the wasp, maybe?
Speaker: Possibly. Maybe it would be, which author goes is missing for 11 days after a brochure of Vesper forms? So that's two big points for Agatha Christie, who's a fly -in on this round. Art and literature, this is it.
Speaker: Lucy. Author and arsehole Jeremy Clarkson's family made their money selling official toys of which children's literary character? That's author and arsehole Jeremy Clarkson's family made their money selling official toys of which children's literary character?
Speaker: Paddington Bear. You know, for Paddington Bear, if I were to ask you the Doctor Who question, it would be, in the Starbeasts, Donna compares the Meep to a mad version of which children's literary character? And indeed, Paddington would get you two big points. Well done, Lucy. Sign.
Speaker: The Sunstone. is a 24 -ton basalt carving. depicting the cosmos and creation myths, of which ancient civilization? The Sun Stone.
Speaker: is a 24 -ton basalt carving depicting the cosmos and creation myths of which ancient civilization Is it the Aztec? Thanks. We're going for the Aztecs. Do you have a question?
Speaker: Yes please! In which Doctor Who story does Susan admire cartoon drawings on the wall of a tomb outside the TARDIS? And the Aztecs would indeed get you two more bites. Lucy. What is the nickname of the statue?
Speaker: that the American sculptor William Wetmore's story built home over his wife Emlyn's grave in Rome. So what is the nickname of the famous statue that the American sculptor William Wetmore's story built over his wife Emlyn's grave in Rome?
Speaker: I should know that, but I don't. What's the Doctor Who question? The Doctor Who question for one point. Which monster takes control of the TARDIS at the end of Once Upon Time?
Speaker: So which monster takes control of the TARDIS at the end of the episode once upon time? Oh, weeping angel. It is the Weeping Angel is the nickname of the statue, also called Angel of Grief, but known as the Weeping Angel. a Last question for this round, Si.
Speaker: Okay. Which literary character originally said, it must be Thursday? I never could get the hang of Thursdays. Off it ends. You're for After Dent for two points. If I were to ask you the Doctor Who question, it would be, in the Christmas Invasion, which literary character does the Tenth Doctor call a lovely man while also wearing a dressing gown? And After Dent is for two points for the to end the round with.
Speaker: Right. Excellent work from both of you on that one. ah Lucy, you scored eight points. Si, you scored nine. Which means at the end of that round, you have a nice 17 points. um maybe one day you'll get out of this sub -basement where you are, you know, the third or fourth last of the the Jagger off. mit Maybe even out of the cellar. Maybe you two will run around Paris to Dudley Simpson's bouncy incidental music, reading books, visiting galleries and drinking in cafes. at' Speaking of drinking.
Speaker: Another round.
Speaker: Round two is called Chicken. Oh, egg. It's a big shuttle and you have a quiet life with plenty of time to enjoy art and literature. You only occasionally have to do Skarov's Dark Bidding.
Speaker: If he's going to save if the Jagger off, it's only reasonable that you put a shift in as you're living rent -free in his sub -basement after he stole all of your money. but As you're into all of this stuff anyway, you're occasionally required to come up to the cellar. and organized some ill -gotten treasures in the Scalioni's collection.
Speaker: There are six Mona Lisas and no way of telling which is the original. It's absolute mess in there. You're librarians, not barbarians, and you need to try and sort this. The only way you can try and catalogue anything is in... chronological order.
Speaker: um In this range you can confer. On each turn, you'll open two doors in the... very sort of play your cards right storage system that Skarov's got in his cellar. and find two pieces of enormously valuable earth art or literature, and you have to sort them out by figuring out which one came earliest. The original, you might say.
Speaker: and sourcing them accordingly. Are you ready? Yes. Okay. Okay, so behind the first door you find the Berlin Cleopatra. an ancient Roman marble bust of Queen Cleopatra VII of Egypt, one of the few portraits made during her lifetime.
Speaker: And behind the other door, you find the Tusculum portrait. the only extant sculpture of Roman Emperor Julius Caesar from his lifetime. both Unique pieces. Anyway, Scarath has nine of each, but which was dated the earliest, the Tusculum Caesar or the Berlin Cleopatra?
Speaker: that It's going to be close, I think. It is. that that Yeah, they must be around the same time. But maybe Caesar might... Take it? I was going to say... Because he would have been in power before Mark Antony?
Speaker: Yeah, I was going to say Caesar. um because If the Cleopatra is a, right I mean, yeah here my ah if you hear weeping in the distance, it's my art history lectures at me getting everything wrong. um But... ah ah i if cleopatrara If it's a Roman portrait of Cleopatra. Then...
Speaker: That suggests that it was done a little later, perhaps. Maybe Caesar caesar first. Yep, I'm happy with that. You're going with Caesar. Yep. Is the correct answer. You very delicately shuffle all of the Cleopatras out of one drawer. all of the Caesars into the other one on the left.
Speaker: Nice and tidy. um I'll tell you what the dates were. The Caesar was dated 46 to 44 BC. whereas Cleopatra was 40 to 30 BC. and One is somehow after the other. That's calendars and our history for you. Right, so you open another door and guess what you find? It's a first edition. of the Iliads. like the one that Jennifer Lopez gets as a gift from a 19 -year -old student in the 2015 film The Boy Next Door.
Speaker: March film. I mean, it's not Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey, sure, but it has its moments. Behind door number two. Vergil's Aeneid. Also the first modern English translation. These are basically like old Penguin hardbook looking things, but get this, they're both signed by the authors.
Speaker: I mean, not really. They're both crudely signed by you two. But, you know, you you did your best. You've written Hormer, you've written Virgil. It's a nice little detail to have if they're going to sell it on. some evil art dealers.
Speaker: Real question is... Which of these was translated and published in English first, Homer's Iliad or Virgil's Enid? I don't... oh I have no idea. My brain keeps saying Homer, but that might just be because Mark said it first. I'm easily swayed like that. I think Homer just predates Virgil. But that doesn't necessarily mean that his work was translated beforehand.
Speaker: No. um I don't know they're both poem stories, aren't they? They're not played. So... . I dunno. Like you, I'm tempted to say Homer, but I don't really know. I don't really have any justification for that. but Well, let's do that because we... Yeah, we haven't got any other justification than a gut feeling. So then Homer it is. yeah Someone's gotta go fast. mm -hmm All right, so you're saying Homer.
Speaker: Doh! It's the wrong answer, unfortunately. Virgil's Aeneid was translated into English in 1553. A full translation of the Iliad didn't come along until 1598. It's all Greek to me. Even the Latin one. Yes.
Speaker: Never mind. Don't worry. I know that hurts as librarians, but we move onwards and upwards. um You open two more doors and we're into the 20th century already. It seems like a lot of... scarif's 12 splinters for all the flashbacks to ancient egypt and stuff just wound up in the 20th century. You haven't got loads of Picassos. But you've got some blue -green ones that look very sad and some brighter ones in orange and pink with circus people and acrobats. Scarath was big into that turn of the century scene.
Speaker: And these paintings are from Picasso's Rose period and Picasso's Blue period. But which came first, rose or blue? Rose. I think. up they've go Look, Lucy is definite on that, so I'm going with that. And it'll be wrong.
Speaker: But never mind. Well, Rose, final answer? Yeah, I think so. yeahp The Rose period was from 1904 to 1906. but the blue period was from 1901 to 1904. He cheered up a bit.
Speaker: We can only assume he went to the circus, like a really good circus, and cheered over bits. Oh, well, I apologise to my art history lecturers again. So no points for that one, unfortunately. But we we move on, we move on.
Speaker: Did you know that Scarif has a splinter? who lives in Dundee between the wars. He's well into his comics and he's going to nab you some rare misprints of the very first issues of DC Thompson's flagship comics. the Beano and the Dandy.
Speaker: I'll be new. And the Dundee. as these misprints called him. There was a broken you somewhere. And I'm... An artist's pen. They're going to be worth something someday, insists Scottish Scarath. But which was published first, the first issue of the Beano or the first issue of the Dandy? i don't i mean i don't know but then i thought i knew the last one and i didn't know that either Um.
Speaker: I... I have an idea it was the dandy that's older. slightly yeah again i'm not sure that that's based on having seen some documentary element about it some years ago but that you know This...
Speaker: The thing I thought I knew I didn't know, so who knows? Yeah, I had the same kind of inkling, so... I think the Beano eventually sold more, but I think the Dandy was the first one.
Speaker: Fine, lads. Yep. Let's go with the dandy then. Treat yourselves to one of those big pies that has two horns coming out the top. It is the dandy. First printed in December 1937, the Beano came seven months later in July 1938. So you've you've presented those correctly, and it's two big points. for a catalogue in those in chronological order.
Speaker: Okay. You open the final two doors with a sense of trepidation. You feel... You feel a rush of cold to refrigerated air. Oh God, there's two kids in here. There's two frozen us kids in it. It turns out there's a scar of splinter who lives in Essex in the 2000s. He just watches interior design TV programs all day.
Speaker: But when he was asked for information about 21st century painters, it all he' got a bit gobbled. To paraphrase that Martin Scorsese film, you've misheard. They paint houses. You have two interior decorators abducted as children and frozen in this cellar. You've got an abducted Linda Barker and Lawrence the Welling Boy, and they were both kids in the 1970s. They're just here.
Speaker: so We all have to sort the freezer out. Can you tell me which of these house painters was born first? Linda Barker or Lawrence Llewellyn Bourne?
Speaker: This is going to be a coin toss, isn't it, Lucy? Because I've got no idea. I mean, i I don't. Yeah. Goodness only knows. In Essex, both of them. My God. We really do produce them, don't we? That's where Scarif is, yeah. Linda Barker's from up north. I have to shout as a northern person fair enough Um...
Speaker: Yeah, I have no idea. no know Well, shall we go for Linda Barker then? Yeah, why not? Mhm. Linda Barker was born in 1962. Laurence Llewellyn -Bourne.
Speaker: In 1965, you swap around both refrigerators, teenagers, just slide them out in big ice cubes. And you think, this this really isn't on this. We really have to think about our living situation. You get two big points for correctly cataloging.
Speaker: Lawrence Llewellyn -Bourne and Linda Barker at the end of the this round of an arts and literature quiz. It's going well, isn't it? So you got six out of ten there. Good work. And it's time once again to... Rick up the cello.
Speaker: um You do great work. you You take pride in your work. you want You want to match the rustic aesthetic of the rest of the chateau. And inspired by your brush with Frozen, Linda Barker, but you decide to make a really good job of it. You want to make it look like it's been bricked up for four or five hundred years instead of four to five minutes.
Speaker: Unfortunately, the brickwork is still setting when Duggan charges through it, so it goes down fairly easily, and he seems rather too pleased for himself for knocking down some wet bricks. The time travellers discovered the Mona Lisas and sworn off to investigate further. But you, you've finished your cataloguing for the day and you've scored six points in that round. That's a total of 23 points so far. On round three.
Speaker: will arrive instantly.
Speaker: Round 3 It's called Escape from the Chateau DIY. Later that afternoon, it's all go around the chateau. The Mona Lisa has been nicked from the Louvre. The time lady and the detective are back. She's doing scientific work and he's frowning at things.
Speaker: And Scarif started talking about killing the whole city, not just saving the Jagaroth. And you realise... The time has come to get out of here. Maybe go and see the Eiffel Tower and do normal things before Paris has vaporized.
Speaker: But, you know, it's all goal. Everyone's looking. If Herman catches you, you'll just wind up back in the cellar. But on everyone else's form today, you will probably be able to leave again quite quickly. So while you're waiting for your moment to sneak out.
Speaker: Do you fancy a quiz? Yeah, why not might as well. Smashing. This rounds all of our art and literature in Doctor Who, specifically. It's a points builder again. Two points per correct answer. You're still working together. You may not confer this time. It's timed. Like Romana's Time Fields Interface Stabilizer, you've got two minutes.
Speaker: So you'll be taking it in turns to answer and you need to score for play to pass to the other player. If you get one wrong, the next question is yours as well and we go on until you get one right or time runs out. So, we'll start with you this time, because we started with Lucy last time around.
Speaker: and we'll start the timer on this time machine going Now. say in the fires of pompeii which companion is immortalized in marble as a household god Donna.
Speaker: Correct. Lucy, which author wrote Frankenstein when she was 19 years old? Mary Shelley Correct. In Snake Dance, how many faces of delusion make up a Sumarin headdress, including the person wearing it?
Speaker: Five. Six. Oh, of course ah In which 1976 story does the fourth Doctor dress as Sherlock Holmes for a visit to Victorian London?
Speaker: at Tom Swain Chang. Correct. Lucy, complete the title of the Gallifreyan painting of the last day of the Time War. Gallifrey Falls. No more. Correct. Sai, also in Day of the Doctor, which actor plays the curator of the National Gallery?
Speaker: Tom Baker. Correct. Lucy. Which author's final unfinished novel was titled The Mystery of Edwin Drood? Charles Dickens. Correct. Sigh. The graffiti artist Riggsie first appears in which 12th Doctor story?
Speaker: Flatline. Correct. Lucy, which Doctor Who story features a ceiling -high portrait of American industrialist Henry Van Staten?
Speaker: I don't know pause It's Dalek. In Silver Nemesis, which companion finds a Thomas Gainsborough portrait of herself that she hasn't posed for yet?
Speaker: Ice. Correct. Sai, in the Power of the Doctor, which enemy of the Doctor replaces La Giaconda in the Mona Lisa? The Master. Correct.
Speaker: Lucy. In Timelash, which Arthur helps the Sixth Doctor rescue Perry from the Bundrels. HG Wells. Correct. Psy, also in Timelash, which Doctor has his portrait painted on a previous visit to Carfell.
Speaker: The Third Doctor. Correct. Lucy, which 2006 story features the absorbable of a monster drawn by a Blue Peter competition winner? of love and monsters.
Speaker: Time! Correct, and that is time. o Okay. In that round, you scored 12 points. Well done. That's 24 points. It's been quite an afternoon with all the kids in the fridge and the talk of vaporization, but once Scarath shows Romana how he deals with fools... You're thinking it's about time to rethink your living situation.
Speaker: yeah
Speaker: And upstairs we find round four. To be. Oh, nuts to be. As you go to leave the doctors back upstairs and you wince as Countess Scalioni starts showing off her first draft of Hamlet again.
Speaker: He recognises the handwriting and says he helped Shakespeare finish it after he sprained his wrist writing sonnets. This explains a lot, you think. Like... Why the first draft of Hamlet has so many Doctor Who references in it.
Speaker: You should scram. But this has been bugging you for months. He's made his own subtle improvements to the to -be -or -not -to -be speech, and as literary enthusiasts, you can't let that stand. You can't resist correcting the Doctor's edition. Somebody has to separate the sonnets from the Sontarans. In this round, you'll study the first draft of Hamlet, and you tell me what word you want to replace with a correct word. You can confer at its two points for everyone you get right. And for the listeners at home, here is David Tennant himself performing the to -be -or -not -to -be speech. With the wrong words.
Speaker: To be or not to be. That is the question. Well, it is nobler in the mind to suffer. The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
Speaker: Or to take our arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing. End up. So far so good, but yes, that is a mixed metaphor. to die.
Speaker: to sleep.
Speaker: Am I asleep to say we end the heartache and the... A thousand natural... Bucks! The flesh is hurting. She's a consummation. Devoutly to be wished. Right, what do you think of that one? What do you want to replace?
Speaker: Well, quarks, but I can't... You're replacing Quarks, what would you like to change it to? I'll read it back for you. The heartache and the thousand natural quarks that flesh his hair to. Cheers.
Speaker: Okay, sounds good. Maybe. You going with Kaz? It's the wrong answer. I'm sorry. It was the Arctic and thousand natural shocks. that flesh is heir to. So no points for that one. Back to Davey T.
Speaker: to die. just
Speaker: sleep a chance to dream there's the rub Where in that sleep of death what dreams may come. When we have shuffled off, this mortal coil must give us pause.
Speaker: There's the respect. makes Chameleons. so long life. There you go. What would you like to change in that one? I'm guessing it's chameleons?
Speaker: You'd like to change chameleons and what would you like to replace it with? When we have shuffled off this mortal coil must give us pause. There's the respect that makes chameleons of so long life.
Speaker: I can't remember No, nor can I. it's been a long time. Well, it hasn't really, but it's still Embarrassing.
Speaker: It is a very hard round, this one. Convenient. don't know It's a pass for me ah as well. so It should be calamity. That makes Calamity of so long life.
Speaker: Right. Back to the Doctor. For who would bear the whips and scorns of death? time. but the dread of something after death. The Undiscovered Tremblay From who was born.
Speaker: No traveller returns. puzzles the will. It makes us rather bear those ills we have. and fly to others that we know not of. Mhm. replace. Sorry, replace Chumbly.
Speaker: You're pleasant shumbling. Country, yep. yeah With country. Are you Star Trek fans in here or something? No, very much not. The undiscovered country from the original c Klingon. is the correct answer for two points.
Speaker: All right, then. Take us home, Davey. Come on. What's the last bit of this one? knows. the native hue of resolution. is cichlid oil. Hail. fault.
Speaker: and enterprises of great pith and moment With this regard, their currents turn awry. I will lose the name of Havok. Wub.
Speaker: Guessing it's probably havoc is the word. You'd like to replace havoc? Hmm.
Speaker: What word would you replace havoc with? I don't know. With this regard, their currents turn awry and lose the name of Havoc. Are you going to pass? Yeah. Okay, so for that one, you would replace Havoc.
Speaker: with Action! About three people who like both Shakespeare and the Pertwee era laughed at that, so um I wish you'd got that one. Well, that was both depressing and embarrassing. Thank you. ah hopefully Hopefully it'll come out in the edit. It's going to be down to Shakespeare. Write his own plays for once. It's good, but it's not what I've got on the card from the Bard. You've just got two points.
Speaker: As you exit Pursuit by a Yeti, Bet you wish you'd fixed that before you tried to leave. But we wouldn't you're just going to have to hope that when Scarif gets back from Prehistorica, there's some sort of fire. And all of these drafts go up in smoke.
Speaker: and the rest. is silence.
Speaker: We've reached the final round which is called cover to cover Count Scalione's Chateau goes up in flames, taking s Scaroff, Herman and most of the collection with it. During the fire, you struggle to escape. you You're both trapped under beams.
Speaker: But someone's come to help. It's the defrosted Linda Barker and Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen who've defrosted in the fire and have come to help you out. The police recover one of the Mona Lisas and Linda Barker and Lawrence the Wellborn each recover Syroff and Lucy Roth. They can now be returned to their rightful places in England and to the correct families as well, thanks to some good librarians.
Speaker: But what about the last remaining Jaguar? What will they do now? Well, Cyroff and Lucyroff, get out of the sub -basement and keep going. Higher and higher. until they take over running the Eiffel Tower gift shop where they sell postcards and souvenirs.
Speaker: They also, for some reason, sell Doctor Who target novelisations. In this final round, where better to cross art and literature than the covers? of classic Target novelizations.
Speaker: And since your team also got splintered in time on the way back to 1979, you'll now go head to head. I'm going to give each of you 60 seconds on the clock and a description of the cover art of one of these target books on the rack. For each one, I want you to tell me the name of the story. They all match the title of the TV version in this case, so there's no giant robots or Loch Ness monsters to strip you up. but these are novelizations from all eras, classic series and new series.
Speaker: and the players with the most points at the end of this round wins our City of Death episode. Sai, since you scored the most so in the first round, and would you like to go first or second?
Speaker: I'll go second. I'll let Lucy go first. Very good. Right, Lucy, are you ready? I'm going to give you the description of a target cover you used to tell me the name of the story. Ready? Okay, yep. Time starts.
Speaker: Now. Two Daleks, a Zygon, the Eleventh Doctor, the Tenth Doctor and the War Doctor. Day of the Doctor. Correct. Victoria Waterfield screaming while a Martian warrior shoots electricity from its hands.
Speaker: The Ice Warrior. Correct. The 13th Doctor, King James I and the Morax Queen. Uhhhh... witch hunters. It's the Witchfinders, sorry. Chameleon playing a lute while two knights on horseback fight with horses in front of Bodium Castle.
Speaker: King's demons. Correct. The 15th Doctor and Ruby Sunday in front of a bank of monitors with infants all over them. Space babies! Correct. The TARDIS parked next to an enormous wooden horse.
Speaker: The Myth Makers. Correct. The Tenth Doctor in his space suit roars with a gun and Ood and the Beast. Uhhh... The impossible planet. I'll give you it a certain bit. The fourth Doctor crouching down, helping Sarah Jane in the quarry, both shrinking in the shadow of giant fingers.
Speaker: Uh, the hand of fear? Time. Correct. And no time to get there. The next one, your time is up. So after a minute, you scored... Six there. Well done, Lucy. So six points to Lucy. So that's your score to beat basically so for this are you ready?
Speaker: Okay, I'm ready. Time starts. Now, Sai, the second doctor and a soldier being shot by a yeti's eye beams. Web of Fear. Correct. Fifth Doctor, an android dressed as the Grim Reaper and a pteroleptile.
Speaker: Uh... Visitation. Correct. Alice Fenley sat on a large box surrounded by the 15th Doctor, Belinda Chandra and other characters from this story. Um... The whelp?
Speaker: Correct. that the 9th Doctor Rose Tyler, surrounded by Sylvain, Big Ben and a graffiti TARDIS. Aliens of London. Correct. The TARDIS in No Man's Land with a British Army officer and a Roman Centurion standing close by.
Speaker: War Games. Correct. The Seventh Doctor, a military troop in an all -black jumpsuit, two satellites and a sign that reads Shangri -La. Dutter and the Bannermen. Correct.
Speaker: The Third Doctor, Vaughan Shurner and two Drashings. Carnival of monsters. Correct, a woman made of glass, Bill Potts, the twelfth Doctor and the first Doctor. Um, oh. Times. Twice upon a time. Just out of time, I'm afraid, on that one. ah And in that route...
Speaker: Oh wow. You're tied. um This is awkward. I was not expecting that. Really wasn't expecting that. The thing is, you're just out of time, so it would have been much easier to just give you it. yeah so After that round, you are tied. So seeing as how you're both winning more releases anyway, and you've got everything you ever wanted up here in the gift shop, are you happy for the Impossible Librarians episode to end in a tie?
Speaker: Yeah, I think so. Yeah, we're happy to share. yeah yeah So Cy Hart and Lucy McColl are both the winners of episode three of the First Question podcast. Well done to both of you. And thank you very much for playing. Have you had a lovely time?
Speaker: Hmm? It's been fun. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, it's been it's been odd, hasn't it? it's ah This is an odd thing to do a podcast out of. But um but where can where can people find you if they want to listen to more of you, follow you on socials? Lucy?
Speaker: I'm on Blue Sky mostly. I am on Facebook and Instagram, but I'm mostly sort of liking and responding to people on there rather than actually posting. um I've... on the occasional podcast.
Speaker: here and there. um And I've got a book out with Miss Hawthorne from The Demons and Sergeant Benton Solving Mysteries. And some fan fiction on...
Speaker: teaspoon and an open mind. And the lovely people at Who Corner to Corner also turned some of my adventures into audio adventures too. Terrific. Sai?
Speaker: so um Well, you can find me on Blue Sky. I'm at Cy Hart, if you want to follow me. um Obviously, you can find my own podcast, The Library of Impossible Things, which has episodes with both of you, which is a joy. And also, I'm a regular host on the Trap 1 podcast, which is an absolute joy to do, where we review random things from across the worlds of Doctor Who.
Speaker: Lovely. Thanks again very much for coming in. if you listen Thank you very much for listening. to there's The episodes we've had so far um are on the Wedding of River Song. and The Devil's Court, if you haven't heard that one. We should have got you two on for the for the Beatles episode, shouldn't we? It's Lucy and this guy called Simon. Never mind. We'll figure that out in the edits. We'll somehow put your answers into last week's one.
Speaker: um I'm just going to keep on doing this. I'm going to keep on adapting Doctor Who stories into quiz shows. The BBC has stopped replying to my pitch decks. I say pitch decks. They're really more crude drawings on behemoths. But nevertheless, let's open. communications again. I know they keep saying email us, but if they need a computer to tell whether a pitch is good or not. then what's the point? Should we all say bye -bye token? So it's it's bye -bye token from Lucy McColl.
Speaker: Bye bye, Duggan! It's bye bye Duggan from Psyheart. Bye -bye, duckin'! I'm Mark Harrison and it's bye bye Duggan from me. Bye bye Duggan!
Speaker: The first question was written, hosted and edited by me, Mark Harrison. This podcast is 100 % unofficial and has no affiliation with the BBC, Doctor Who, the Louvre or the Royal Shakespeare Company.
Speaker: Theme tune arrangements by Dr. Music Master and Dramatic Pauses. by David Sennett. Well done to both our contestants and well done also to the other five contestants in Duggan's phone book who also won this episode.
Speaker: You can follow The First Question on Blue Sky, Instagram and YouTube at FirstQuestionPod and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker: Next episode... It takes you away.
Speaker: For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, the presses wrong, the pack the proud man's contumely, he'll pronounce that better than I will, the pangs of disparate love, the law's delay, the insolence of office and the spurns, the patient merit of unworthy takes, when he himself Might as quiet as Mick.
Speaker: With a bear. Benson. Bootkin. Mm -hmm. The prospect with a bear Benton is slightly more alarming. than but I'm having memories of the of the time monster coming back. It was never a good idea. It must have stuck in the doctor's mind as well if it's a bear Benton. So what would you like to replace Benton with?
Speaker: Botkin. You want me to buttkin? Is the correct answer. When he himself makes quite a smirk with a bare bodkin. Well done. Two points for that one. Well done, Lucy. How did you know it wasn't Bear Benton?
