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My Perfectionism Recovery Toolkit
33 Plays9 months ago
In this episode of The Intuitive Move, I open up about my own struggles with perfectionism — from rewriting emails five times before hitting send to getting frustrated when I’m not instantly good at a new hobby. Inspired by The Anxious Perfectionist by Clarissa Ong & Michael Twohig, I share the toolkit that’s helped me shift from impossible standards to more compassionate, realistic ones. Along the way, we’ll look at the different types of perfectionism, how to redefine success on your own terms, and why focusing on the process often matters more than the outcome. If perfectionism has ever made you procrastinate, overprepare, or hold yourself back, this episode will give you fresh perspective — and practical tools you can use right away.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Intuitive Move Podcast
00:00:00
Nadia Stejskal
Welcome to the Intuitive Move podcast, the podcast where we shut our minds, open our hearts, so we can overshare. I'm Nadia, and this is your space to drop into your truth, find your inner voice, and laugh at your latest meltdown.
The Focus on Perfectionism
00:00:19
Nadia Stejskal
Today, we are diving into something I think many of us can relate, perfectionism. You know, that little inner voice that says, hey, you could do better.
00:00:31
Nadia Stejskal
Or even sometimes, hey, don't even try, you suck.
Personal Experiences with Perfectionism
00:00:36
Nadia Stejskal
I've been there from rewriting an email five times, which by the way only had three sentences, to even getting frustrated because I wasn't good at a new hobby that I started yesterday.
00:00:50
Nadia Stejskal
So in this episode, I'm sharing my perfectionism recovery toolkit. which is basically some six steps which helped me identify, the the first, that I was a perfectionist, and second, I learned how to heal that, at least to a manageable level.
00:01:11
Nadia Stejskal
Remember, we are not here to be perfect, not even for that. That's why this episode.
00:01:18
Nadia Stejskal
And the first step is let's try to understand which type of perfectionism you have. For that, you can Google and there will be thousands of ways of classifying type of perfectionism.
Insights from 'The Anxious Perfectionist'
00:01:34
Nadia Stejskal
But the one that I loved the most was a definition that I found in a book that I read last year recommended by my therapist. So this book is called The Anxious Perfectionist by all and to giek Ohm and Tuo Gig, 2022.
00:01:54
Nadia Stejskal
So in this book, I loved it so much because it talks about two types of perfectionists in practicality.
00:02:03
Nadia Stejskal
either functional or dysfunctional. For you to there is a part of the perfectionism that is good, actually.
00:02:12
Nadia Stejskal
So the functional perfectionism is, for example, having high standards that motivate you, but it doesn't really crush you. So it helps you try better and be good at something.
00:02:26
Nadia Stejskal
And you can pursue excellence, but mistakes don't destroy your self-worth. For example, you learned discipline, for example, I learned project management um um and I learned, I learned, I learned, and that helped me get into a really good job and then another one and then another one.
00:02:49
Nadia Stejskal
So actually I didn't suffer out of it and it got me really good things, the opposite. So it got me really good things. The fact that I learned project management a lot and without crushing myself.
00:03:05
Nadia Stejskal
So that's actually a good type of perfectionism that I had in my life.
Understanding Maladaptive Perfectionism
00:03:10
Nadia Stejskal
And for example, another type of good perfectionism can be practicing a dance like ballet, how I explained in the last episode, just for the sake of the joy and the flow and the movement, knowing that the progress will be slow because we are grown. But it will be valuable even if I go and I practice in the lesson just for the sake of dancing.
00:03:39
Nadia Stejskal
So that type of perfectionism is a good thing. another The other type of perfectionism is the dysfunctional, also known as maladaptive. So in the book, it talks about these little scientific terms.
00:03:57
Nadia Stejskal
But dysfunctional is the term that I can remember, and it's really good to understand the definition. So the dysfunctional perfectionism is that one that has really high and rigid standards, unrealistic and very tied to your sense of self-value.
00:04:18
Nadia Stejskal
These dysfunctional or high and rigid standards lead you to anxiety, avoidance, and even procrastination and burnout.
00:04:30
Nadia Stejskal
So see how something that was meant to be high standards, it actually causes the opposite. It makes you be non-productive. It makes you postpone things, procrastinate things, and you might even...
00:04:46
Nadia Stejskal
end up with nothing.
Identifying Your Perfectionism Type
00:04:48
Nadia Stejskal
So I know I'm being a bit extreme, but it's good to understand that there is one type of but but a perfectionism that is good, the functional, it helps you be good at things and achieve goals and progress in life.
00:05:04
Nadia Stejskal
And there is another type which is dysfunctional. As the word says, it doesn't help at all. has unrealistic goals And many times we will never achieve those goals because they are really bad set from the very first time.
00:05:21
Nadia Stejskal
So, and I will help you. I'm sure you are already thinking which type you have. And another thing wanted to say is in some areas of our life, we might have one type of perfectionism and in another area, we might have another type.
00:05:39
Nadia Stejskal
For example, in I was thinking this morning, in my career, I think for most of the time, I had the functional perfectionism, which means that, for example, when I was in Argentina and I studied engineering, I was, yes, I was a little obsessed with studying and being perfect, but it actually...
00:06:05
Nadia Stejskal
got me really good things and I didn't get sick. So it's not like I was tied, my self-worth wasn't tied to my career. I was so passionate about everything. i I was passionate about project management when I moved to Australia that I studied that and that got me a really good job.
00:06:25
Nadia Stejskal
So I was actually, I had a little bit of functional perfectionism. I was putting a lot of effort into things that That got me a good job or another good job and an even better job every single time.
00:06:41
Nadia Stejskal
And I believe for most of the time I had functional perfectionism in my career. However, in other areas of my life, like the love life or relationships, relationships,
00:06:57
Nadia Stejskal
I am pretty sure had, until very little time ago, this functional perfectionism. So when I moved to Australia, I had this vision of me finding love as soon as I arrived.
00:07:15
Nadia Stejskal
So I came here also on a mission. I wanted to stay in Australia forever. with my profession, with my job, like getting a sponsor. But at the same time, I wanted to find a partner, a life partner.
00:07:29
Nadia Stejskal
Like, who doesn't? So I thought, hey, let's go to dates and I'll find my partner. Like, it is that easy. But surprise, surprise, that wasn't the case.
00:07:43
Nadia Stejskal
So I had gone into many dates, even starting dating and getting into relationships for a short period of time in most of the times.
00:07:58
Nadia Stejskal
And then I wasn't maybe getting that long-term partnership that I was looking for. And I was getting so frustrated. I was tying my self-worth into that.
Awareness and Redefining Success
00:08:12
Nadia Stejskal
That's when I really i confirmed that I had a dysfunctional or unrealistic standards. Like, how can you set yourself your worth based on ah ah partner, based on first having a partner or based on which type of partner you want?
00:08:29
Nadia Stejskal
and I was thinking that I wasn't enough. So yes, in my relationship side, I clearly had a dysfunctional perfectionism.
00:08:41
Nadia Stejskal
How can you know if you have If you're in hesitation, which type of perfectionism you have? So you can ask yourself a few questions.
00:08:53
Nadia Stejskal
Which type shows the strongest in my life? Which type of these perfectionisms Show in my love life, show in my relationships with my family, or even show in my career, in finances, in my community side.
00:09:13
Nadia Stejskal
You can ask per area of your life which type appears stronger.
00:09:20
Nadia Stejskal
And you can ask yourself, do I overprepare? Do I procrastinate or avoid things altogether? Because maybe they might not be perfect. If the answer is yes...
00:09:33
Nadia Stejskal
then you might be dealing with dysfunctional perfectionism. It's the one that makes you freeze and then you do nothing. You get frozen and you don't improve or you don't even try because you think, why should I bother? Obviously, I'm not good at this.
00:09:54
Nadia Stejskal
That is very dangerous. So it's really good, actually, if you can identify if you have this functional perfectionism.
00:10:02
Nadia Stejskal
So once you know which type you have, well, I can tell you there is a treatment. We can heal. We can move on from anything. If you have awareness, a level of awareness, enough to understand, okay, I'm here. I have this functional perfectionism and I want to move on from it. I want to heal this or even...
00:10:26
Nadia Stejskal
Reduce it to a manageable level. We all have a little bit of dysfunctional standards. We all have that. But the most important thing is that, okay, I see it and I try to reduce it and maybe next time it will not even show up because I will be outgrowing it.
00:10:46
Nadia Stejskal
So that's the goal. And so once you know the type of perfectionism you have is I encourage you to redefine what does success look like.
00:10:59
Nadia Stejskal
What does success look like? Because, so remember that the dysfunctional perfectionism was unachievable standards or unachievable goals, extremely high and rigid standards.
00:11:15
Nadia Stejskal
So let's redefine success. explore maybe your definition of success is like is it yours or is something that came from your family or even society culture or something that you saw on instagram Success might not be the trophy or the recognition, but in the inner feeling of alignment and growth, it can say a lot about your type of perfectionism.
00:11:45
Nadia Stejskal
So ask yourself first, what does success look like? Do you celebrate small wins or you are only aiming for the big perfect outcome?
00:11:58
Nadia Stejskal
For example, let's come back to my dysfunctional perfectionism in my love life. So oh basically I was going on dates, say that it was a coffee date or even a drinks date.
00:12:12
Nadia Stejskal
And the goal was basically... I was going on a date, maybe thinking, okay, this might be the one. See how that was all wrong from the beginning.
00:12:23
Nadia Stejskal
How can I go on a date thinking, okay, this is the one. Then I was in every little sign where I saw, okay, maybe this will not work. Then I saw myself, oh my God, this is a failure.
00:12:38
Nadia Stejskal
I'm not good enough. How can I not How can they not think that I am the one? Like so many things that came after as a consequence of me setting this really unhealthy and all wrong standard of going on a date and thinking, okay, I'm going to marry this person.
00:13:01
Nadia Stejskal
Like, no. But I know that that happens. That's why I'm speaking about these things, because in order for us to change something and to heal something, we need to identify it.
00:13:14
Nadia Stejskal
And so, for example, instead of thinking, okay, I'm going on this date and I'm going to get married to this person, maybe just think as success, you having a good time with that person.
00:13:30
Nadia Stejskal
That is a little bit the redefining success to try to... Remove these dysfunctional standards that are not helping you and are bringing you all bad things, basically.
00:13:46
Nadia Stejskal
And try to think another examples or things in where What's Say that you want your success looks like having a big house, like a mansion in Hollywood.
00:14:00
Nadia Stejskal
Is that achievable? Is that something that you can make it happen in a couple of years? Or is that something that maybe you live in another country? And is that achievable?
00:14:14
Nadia Stejskal
Can that objective, can that goal happen the circumstances that you are right now? So if the answer is, no, so many things need to change for me to achieve that, then you might need to redefine success.
00:14:29
Nadia Stejskal
So that's the first step, and that will clean up a lot of confusion, and that will clean up a lot of dysfunctional goals in your life. The other thing that helped me a lot was focusing more in processes and not in result.
00:14:46
Nadia Stejskal
So, for example, let's go back to my example of functional perfectionism in my career. When I enrolled in the engineering course, I was so...
00:15:01
Nadia Stejskal
obsessed and happy and enjoying every single subject every single day. So I was enjoying the process. I was focused on making friends and improve my my math maths and physics and all those science and all those skills.
00:15:21
Nadia Stejskal
I was focused on learning and learning and practicing and being better every single day. But at the same time, I was enjoying the process. So I think that's what saved me from being a dysfunctional perfectionist in that case.
00:15:39
Nadia Stejskal
I was focused and enjoying the journey.
Shifting Focus from Results to Process
00:15:42
Nadia Stejskal
So I encourage you, try to think in some area of your life or in some area where you're thinking, okay, I might be a perfectionist.
00:15:52
Nadia Stejskal
Can you shift the focus from the result to the process? And for example, coming back to the example of the going on dates.
00:16:03
Nadia Stejskal
So if I had focused more in... The enjoying the moment or having a good time or enjoying the drinks that I was having even enjoying the company as well.
00:16:17
Nadia Stejskal
If that was the goal or if I had put my energy there, probably I would have had a much better time.
00:16:24
Nadia Stejskal
So if you're having a perfectionism attack, so it might be worth to try to focus on the process. How can you enjoy and even set the goals in the process, not in the result so much. But are ways of setting goals as result that can be healthy. So let's work on that.
00:16:48
Nadia Stejskal
So how can you turn more things into experiments rather than pass and fail tests? So that's one thing that you can do.
00:16:58
Nadia Stejskal
Or where in your life you can celebrate showing up and not just finishing. For example, when you're feeling like you're about to quitting the going to the gym, maybe you just instead of setting the goals of, OK, today I want to lift 100 kilograms, maybe just set the goal of showing up for two weeks.
00:17:23
Nadia Stejskal
So that can be a way of moving away from the frustrations or the dysfunctional perfectionism, if that's what you have in the area of fitness, moving away from the result of lifting 100 kilograms to showing up for two weeks in the gym.
00:17:45
Nadia Stejskal
And another question that can help you heal that part is, um what do I miss when I am too result-focused? So maybe if you're too focused on lifting those 100 kilograms, maybe you're missing on just enjoying the gym, just the facilities. Maybe they have some relaxing area because you were too focused on the results. Maybe you forgot to enjoy the surroundings or the parks or even try another activity for one day instead of lifting the gym.
00:18:20
Nadia Stejskal
You can do maybe going to the pool and swim. So try to think on enjoying the process instead of too much in the result.
00:18:31
Nadia Stejskal
But as I said before, there are ways of setting goals with results, you know, in a smart way that are healthy. So we'll try that as well.
00:18:44
Nadia Stejskal
Now, let's get into setting goals based on what's in your control. So, say that you really want to set goals as achieving something that you really want.
00:18:56
Nadia Stejskal
That's great. But really, really, really important. Please make sure that you set goals as from what's in your control.
00:19:07
Nadia Stejskal
For example, me going on dates and wanting to marry some guy. That wasn't in my control because for you to build a relationship, you need another person as well that wants to do it.
00:19:20
Nadia Stejskal
So that's why I was thinking that my goal should have been enjoying that time instead of setting that unachievable or impossible for me to control result, which makes...
00:19:33
Nadia Stejskal
basically high 99% of chances of failing because that was really bad set from the first place. Coming back to my other example with university, I was so enjoying my time there that I really didn't care if I was maybe finishing my degree in five years or in six.
00:19:55
Nadia Stejskal
So in fact, I finished in more years compared to the time that I was set, but I was enjoying so much that I didn't really care. That's why I really think that it was a healthy perfectionism there.
00:20:07
Nadia Stejskal
And so my goal when I started uni was becoming an engineer and that was basically completely in my control. So try to think what goals are you setting? Are they all depending on you doing something or in you moving resources in some way of achieving that? Or are you aiming something that it doesn't really depend on you?
00:20:37
Nadia Stejskal
And again, you can always set a goal that it doesn't necessarily depend 100% on you, maybe includes some other factors.
00:20:49
Nadia Stejskal
You can always set those goals. But just be mindful that the other side of the action is not under your control. And if that fails, it's not related to your self-worth, it's not related with your failure.
00:21:08
Nadia Stejskal
You did everything you could, but the other side maybe didn't work. So that's unfortunate, but please don't link that failure from the other side on you.
Flexibility and Self-Worth in Goal Setting
00:21:22
Nadia Stejskal
For example, when I was in Argentina and I moved to Australia, I was risking it. Yes, because I did everything in my power to move to Australia, but...
00:21:35
Nadia Stejskal
If the country didn't have the regulations around me being able to apply for a visa and to comply with all those requirements, I wouldn't have been able to get the visa.
00:21:48
Nadia Stejskal
So I really knew that I was coming in here and trying to stay. Like I was set, the goal was set in stone, I'll move to Australia and I'll get the permanent residency.
00:22:00
Nadia Stejskal
But at the same time, I knew that some things were not up to me. But that's okay. I still did my best and I found a way of staying. But I hadn't gotten that visa, that permanent residency, and I had to move back home...
00:22:17
Nadia Stejskal
If I had a functional perfectionism, I shouldn't have felt frustrated or maybe my self-worth shouldn't have been affected because I did everything in my power.
00:22:30
Nadia Stejskal
So please be aware of the type of goals you set. If you set some goal that it doesn't depend on you 100%, just be mindful that it might not happen, but that is nothing to do with you.
00:22:45
Nadia Stejskal
For example, if you have this goal of working for a certain company, so you go to the interview, And your goal is getting the job.
00:22:56
Nadia Stejskal
That's great, but that doesn't depend on you. It depends on the company, if they want the type of skills you have. It depends on the company structure, if they have this space or this spot for you to prepare and set the limits of your role.
00:23:15
Nadia Stejskal
It depends on so many other things. So... If you set a goal of working for BHF, for example, so be mindful that that's a high risk goal because that's not up to you 100%.
00:23:29
Nadia Stejskal
In fact, it's more up to them than you. even if you do a great flawless interview, it's not up to you. So how can you change that goal instead of working for BHP? Sorry, what did I say? The insurance company. Now say that you want to work for a BHP.
00:23:48
Nadia Stejskal
Instead of saying working for BHP, you can say I want to work as a project analyst and earn certain amount of money and live and work 5Ks from home.
00:24:06
Nadia Stejskal
So that's a goal that is all up to you and you finding the possibilities of, okay, i I can apply for this job, but if that doesn't happen, there might be another job and another opening and vacancies.
00:24:23
Nadia Stejskal
around those 5Ks radius, I'm sure there will be other opportunities for you to apply. So the goal, the key here is staying flexible.
00:24:37
Nadia Stejskal
If you set your non-negotiables, then you please, you can set goals, but stay flexible. The more flexible you are, the easier it is to navigate and adapt your and set goals that are first up to you, because then once you set a nice, achievable, healthy goal, then you can work for that.
00:25:01
Nadia Stejskal
And you can feel at that sense of rewarding and that sense of feeling your purpose and that you have actually, you have that worth um It's stronger and say that you set the goal of going to the gym for one month, like three times a week.
00:25:24
Nadia Stejskal
That is completely up to you. You can go to the gym three times a week. Yes, definitely. um Fingers crossed you don't get sick, but say that everything goes well and then you feel great. You go to the gym three times a week. So I know you might say, oh, this goal is so like weak, like a weak goal. OK, you can go a little further.
00:25:49
Nadia Stejskal
But this episode is directed to those perfectionists, for those who have this level of perfectionism that is maybe unhealthy or is bringing them trouble into their lives.
00:26:03
Nadia Stejskal
So giving you ways of changing that, shifting from those unachievable standards to goals that are first completely up to you.
00:26:14
Nadia Stejskal
Secondly, include also the journey and the processes.
00:26:19
Nadia Stejskal
And thirdly, make your life a much better place. Like it makes you and maybe add value to your life or even once you set those milestones and once you are achieving them, it makes you so fulfilled and joyful that it makes your life much better.
00:26:43
Nadia Stejskal
So I invite you to ask some questions. So what are three things that are that are that are under my control today? How do I measure success in ways that don't rely on other people's approval?
00:27:00
Nadia Stejskal
That's a good one. How do I build structure, routines, rituals, some planning that feels supportive and not suffocating?
00:27:11
Nadia Stejskal
So let's go to the next tip. So before we spoke about setting goals from what's on your control, and even before that, we said focus on processes and not in result, and also redefining what success looks like.
00:27:28
Nadia Stejskal
Now I would love for you to focus on productivity. if you if you see perfectionism in the way of, okay, I'm not doing anything because if it's not perfect, I want nothing.
00:27:41
Nadia Stejskal
So that's the extreme of the really dysfunctional perfectionism that even makes you frozen and makes you not progress at all. So you focus on productivity,
00:27:54
Nadia Stejskal
you will be able to focus on things like a typical, like a classic phrase is, is better than, sorry, better done is better than perfect.
00:28:08
Nadia Stejskal
So if you focus on contributing, if you focus on things getting done more than things getting done perfectly, you will be able to keep progressing and setting little standards and little stepping stones, little milestones that will you feedback and give you fuel to keep going.
The 80-20 Rule and Imperfection
00:28:31
Nadia Stejskal
Have you ever heard of this principle? I think it's Pareto who has this 80-20 principle. So the eighty twenty rule or principle is that one that says that 20% of the things give you the 80% of the result.
00:28:52
Nadia Stejskal
So if you focus on one-fifth, 20% of the whole work that you have to do, the most important 20%, you will obtain 80% of the results. So you can improve exponentially if you identify those tasks that give you value the most.
00:29:16
Nadia Stejskal
For example, in my case, I know that I'm highly likely, like my whole day depends on my morning routine. If I have a bad morning routine, I'm having a bad day.
00:29:30
Nadia Stejskal
And my morning routine is waking up, playing some calming, but at the same time uplifting morning music, even hearing some songs in like at the same time calming, but maybe also um maybe some manifestation kind of thing depending on the day. But the most important thing is that I need to have some fruit and I need to have a really nice creamy latte.
00:30:00
Nadia Stejskal
So I've got my coffee machine, I've got my grinder, and I prepare my whole morning just to sit down with my cup of creamy latte.
00:30:11
Nadia Stejskal
So everything, I know that that coffee is so important that will give me the 80% of the mood, of my mood or the results for that day.
00:30:23
Nadia Stejskal
That's why I really put effort in my morning routine. like the music that I want to hear or the meditation that I want to hear and putting effort in making the cup of coffee that I like because I know that that's very important and that will give me a lot of results.
00:30:42
Nadia Stejskal
So I invite you to think in where are those important tasks that are maybe setting my mood in a better way or are really crucial for you to have a good day.
00:30:56
Nadia Stejskal
Even thinking about work, you can also apply this rule. What are these 20% tasks that give me 80% of the results? So for me, it's making sure that I speak, hopefully in person, that I talk to all my main stakeholders for my project.
00:31:18
Nadia Stejskal
So I focus every single day in having even a five-minute conversation with each of them. For you, it might mean that the 20% of the most important tasks are being organized and maybe listing the things that you need to do that day.
00:31:39
Nadia Stejskal
Oh, another one. I really know that I'll have a good day at work when the day before I prepared list of priorities for the following day.
00:31:51
Nadia Stejskal
So I really invest this last half an hour at work to list all the things that I need to focus. Maybe it's only two or three things. Maybe it's 10.
00:32:02
Nadia Stejskal
But I organize the day after based on the day before. And the same at the end of the week. that helps using the time more effectively. So maybe I spent half an hour doing that list, but then it pays off later.
00:32:19
Nadia Stejskal
So I invite you to think about this 80-20 rule, which are the 20% of the tasks that give you 80% of the result.
00:32:31
Nadia Stejskal
And also I invite you to think in productivity itself, because how... counterproductive is to think that you need to do things perfect and then that makes you even stop and not do anything at all or procrastinate and I have another example for example this podcast I really waited three to four months to get started and I know it's not perfect for sure but it's i I took so long because maybe I wanted it to be
00:33:03
Nadia Stejskal
That's silly because this podcast is all about intuition and learning and growing. So it's better to show myself imperfect and true and human and realistic. So even more people might be able to relate to this.
00:33:22
Nadia Stejskal
And so I gave you a lot of tips. Let's review them from
Tips for Managing Perfectionism
00:33:27
Nadia Stejskal
the beginning. So first, which type of perfectionism you have? Do you have the functional, which gives you high standards, but they are not linked with your self-worth and they don't crush you if you don't achieve them?
00:33:43
Nadia Stejskal
Are they focused on processes or they focused on results? Or we have the dysfunctional perfectionism, which is the standards that are rigid, unrealistic, and tied to your sense of self-value.
00:33:59
Nadia Stejskal
Then we spoke about what does success look like. Try redefining success so you actually can achieve the goal. The next step was focus more on processes and less on results.
00:34:12
Nadia Stejskal
The fourth one was setting goals based on things that are under your control. The fifth one was focus on productivity in getting things done, not in getting things done perfectly.
00:34:27
Nadia Stejskal
And the last one is, if nothing of that works, I want to give you this tip that helped me in the exact moment where I was having a a potential little crisis or even was having a really bad time because maybe I felt like I was ah ah failure or I was feeling embarrassed of myself or failing, like what the hell.
00:34:50
Nadia Stejskal
I give you this tip,
Replacing Self-Criticism with Compassion
00:34:52
Nadia Stejskal
please. So the last tip is, In this situation where you feel a failure, try removing yourself and swap yourself with your best friend.
00:35:06
Nadia Stejskal
So, what does that feel like now? Would you be so harsh with your best friend too? I know it's absurd that we love more our best friend than ourselves, but sometimes that happens. We are humans.
00:35:20
Nadia Stejskal
So in that moment where you think, oh no, I am a failure, I cannot achieve this, I'm stupid, or everyone is better than me, remove yourself that situation and add your best friend.
00:35:34
Nadia Stejskal
Would you keep saying those things to them? Yes, potentially you were feeling unregulated or the situation is overwhelming to you.
00:35:45
Nadia Stejskal
Everything is completely understandable. But you're being too harsh. You're having this dysfunctional perfectionism and you're tying goals with self-worth.
00:35:57
Nadia Stejskal
We don't want that. We need to cut that So when you can't do all the other tips that I gave you, just remove yourself from your situation and add your best friend. I know many times we felt embarrassed and we felt like, oh, you are not good enough. And I had plenty of times that.
00:36:19
Nadia Stejskal
at work feeling like that. So in those times, if I swap myself with my sister or or my best friend, will I really think that it's their fault? Or will I really think that maybe the situation around them didn't help?
00:36:33
Nadia Stejskal
Or maybe the situation make them feel frustrated and not productive, but it was not all the responsibility. So please consider this tool or this tip to gain a little more self-compassion.
00:36:50
Nadia Stejskal
So remove yourself and add your best friend. See how you have more self-compassion? One day you will not need to remove yourself from from that situation, but that's okay. In the meantime, you can use this tool. never heard of this tool and I actually practiced it in a very absurd moment. I was...
00:37:11
Nadia Stejskal
feeling embarrassed for some reason. I had to walk in front of a huge line. There were people entering into a concert and I was walking along. i For some reason, I felt observed. I felt embarrassed. I don't know if I felt like I should have been there going to that concert.
00:37:32
Nadia Stejskal
And I was walking along and I was like, oh my God, I feel so absurd. I feel embarrassed right now. So I thought, okay, I am not me. I am my best friend, Andy.
00:37:44
Nadia Stejskal
And then I told her, Andy, I did this technique because I was feeling embarrassed and I put you in that situation and automatically I didn't feel embarrassed anymore. I know that's silly for me in first place, feeling embarrassed of that absurd situation. No one should feel embarrassed just walking along people.
00:38:04
Nadia Stejskal
But sometimes it happens. We are humans. We're not perfect. But the good thing is... to gain awareness of yourself, gain awareness of your ah weaknesses, and see what works for
Conclusion and Encouragement
00:38:17
Nadia Stejskal
you.
00:38:18
Nadia Stejskal
Always connect with your intuition. What feels right, just do it. What doesn't feel right, don't do it. Don't implement anything that doesn't sit right to you.
00:38:30
Nadia Stejskal
Thank you so much for being with me in this episode. I really enjoyed it and I hope it helps you to feel less dysfunctional in your perfectionism and also identify some good ways of having perfectionism that helps to build a better life.
00:38:52
Nadia Stejskal
So...
00:38:53
Nadia Stejskal
Remember, done is better than perfect. If you loved today's episode, it would mean the world to me if you could share it with a friend or someone you like. See you next time.