The other day I found out that a friend of mine had died and for the last couple of days I've been clearly trying to digest it.

I've lived overseas in the days before Facebook, and I have had these really intense personal friendships for a very short amount of time. Friendships that aren't documented in any way. No selfies or social media posts.

I'm the sort of person who has friendships that although we don't see each other for a while, when we do meet up, it's like no time has passed and everything is still the same. We just pick up from where we left off.

And that was the case with my friend that passed away.

I thought we'd have more time.

We don't really talk about the effect that grief has on mental illness. and that's what I want to explore a little bit today.

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Grief and mental illness | Mark MI Words #PTSD #bumwiper

I was asked today why I tell my lived experience story.

It is not that people will feel sorry for me, nor is it a pity party.

I tell my story to encourage others who suffer like me to know that mental illness is not the end of your story.

Mental illness may be a bump in the road, but it does not have to be your identity!

You can have a full life after mental illness!

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Tell your lived experience story | Mark MI Words #PTSD #bumwiper

I'm never going to pretend I have all the answers. And in truth there are a million keys to resilience but there are 2 things that I have learned that keep me on the road to recovery... whatever that means.



They are Patience and Purpose.



I must have patience to know things will change; and a purpose to help keep me moving forward.

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2 keys to build resilience | Mark MI Words #PTSD #bumwiper

In this next chapter of BUMWIPER, I'm going to talk about things that I've never really spoken about out loud. I'm not a hundred percent sure how I'm going to get through this, but I want to try.

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BUMWIPER the book - chapter 8 | Mark MI Words #PTSD #bumwiper

The book continues with a discussion of what it's like to work with Autistic people. The challenges, the victories and ultimately the impact that it had on me.

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BUMWIPER the book - chapter 7 | Mark MI Words #PTSD #bumwiper

Sexual abuse. In our righteous haste to protect the innocent we can leave the innocent accused with lasting scars and stigma.

This is how.

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BUMWIPER the book - chapter 6 | Mark MI Words #PTSD #bumwiper

I went to work one day and for hours my client tried to kill himself.

Chapter 5 of my book BUMWIPER tells this story.

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BUMWIPER the book - chapter 5 | Mark MI Words #PTSD #bumwiper

I started writing BUMWIPER before I was hurt. I started writing it while I was still working in the disability profession and at was working at a fairly high level.

I was about to become a network manager. I was a behavior modification expert. My skills were highly sought after and for all intents and purposes, this was going to be my life, working with people with disabilities. Then I got hurt, attacked in the workplace by a guy with a knife.

After 18 years of violent assaults, the psychiatrist said that this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

So when I look at my book, BUMWIPER, I see it very differently than I did when I first wrote it. But anyways, let's dive in.

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BUMWIPER the book - chapter 4 | Mark MI Words #PTSD #bumwiper

When I first began writing BUMWIPER, over 20 years ago, i was a different man.

I set out to write a book about the oft mis-understood world of caring for people with disabilities.

It was going to be a lighthearted, self-deprecating look at my job and how I reacted to it.

Now I see it as something different entirely. It is in many ways naive. It is immature. And it was untruthful.

I did not understand the toll my job was taking on me and my mental health.

Si it is that I rewrite the book with greater understanding and, hopefully, wisdom.

Pls enjoy chapter 3 of my odyssey.

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BUMWIPER the book - chapter 3 | Mark MI Words #PTSD #bumwiper

The title of my second book is called BUMWIPER.

It is the story of my 18 years working directly with people with disability, intellectual disability, physical disability, emotional disability, dual diagnosis, acquired brain injury, you name it, I worked with them.

After working in that industry, I ended up with complex PTSD (CPTSD).

I was writing a book while I was still working as a BUMWIPER, and I put it aside for many years.

My injury fundamentally changed the book in many ways. So here it is 'chapter 1' of BUMWIPER the Book.

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BUMWIPER the Book - Chapter 2 | Mark MI Words #PTSD #bumwiper

Life with Mental Illness. Mental Illness is my normal, and that's what I share in STP. The struggles, the successes, the failures. Find out more on linktree https://linktr.ee/ShatteredthePodcast Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=20360507

STP Shattered- The Podcast