When your spouse suggests trying something new sexually, like a different position, a toy, or even roleplay, it can catch you off guard. Maybe your first thought is, “Where did that come from?” and your second is, “Do I have to say yes to this to make them happy?” These moments can stir up all kinds of questions: Is this who they really are? Is something missing in our relationship? Are they getting ideas from somewhere else?

In this episode, we’re slowing that moment down. Instead of jumping to fear or assumptions, we’re taking a closer look at what’s really going on. Why do we want to try new things in the first place? What do those desires actually mean and what don’t they mean? We’ll talk about how to approach these conversations with curiosity and compassion, and how being honest about our desires can actually bring us closer. Because trying something new doesn’t mean your marriage is broken - it might be an invitation to grow, together.

 

Episode 371 - Why Do They Want To Try That?

Have you ever felt like no matter how much you grow or how open you are to trying new things, it still doesn’t feel like enough for your partner? Maybe they’re asking for more - more intimacy, more variety, more connection, more emotional depth - and despite your efforts, you feel like you're always falling short. In this thought provoking episode, we explore what’s really happening in relationships where one partner feels like they can never give enough, and the other seems to always want something more. We take a closer look at both perspectives to understand the emotions, expectations, and deeper needs that are often hidden beneath the surface. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling inadequate or misunderstood in your relationship, this episode offers insight, compassion, and a path toward greater understanding and connection.

Episode 370 - When It Feels Like It’s Never Enough

Are you the one who always initiates sex in your relationship, and you’re starting to feel burnt out by it? In this episode, we explore a common dynamic I see in coaching: the higher desire partner feeling like they’re carrying the full weight of initiation, facing repeated rejection, and wondering if they’re the only one who still wants intimacy. We’ll unpack why this happens, what constant initiating can do to a relationship, and whether stepping back might actually help, or hurt, your connection. If you’ve ever asked yourself, ‘Why am I the only one trying?’ this episode is for you.

Episode 369 - Are You Initiating Too Much?

Do you ever feel frustrated when your spouse doesn’t want sex the same way, or as often, as you do? In this episode, we explore how rigid expectations around sex can lead to disconnection and resentment in marriage. You’ll hear why focusing too much on “your” version of sex can actually block the emotional intimacy you're craving. Whether it's about initiation, frequency, or what “real” sex looks like, we’ll unpack how to move from frustration to deeper connection. This is a conversation about letting go of control and rediscovering what sex can truly mean for your relationship.

Episode 368 - Are You Prioritizing “Your” Kind of Sex Over Connection?

Ever found yourself pulled out of a beautiful, intimate moment by the thought, “Ugh, now I have to clean up”? You’re definitely not alone. For many women, post-sex cleanup can feel like an annoying chore that disrupts connection and intimacy. In this episode, we’re getting real about why this moment matters—and how to simplify the cleanup process so you can stay present, connected, and fully enjoy that sweet afterglow with your spouse.

Episode 367 - Making Sex Cleanup Simple & Stress-Free

What if the covenants we make in the Temple are more than just promises—what if they’re a roadmap to deeper connection and intimacy? In this episode, we’re diving into the sacred covenants made in the Temple by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—not as a checklist of rules, but as a powerful pattern of personal and relational growth. Whether you share my faith or not, this conversation has the potential to shift the way you view your marriage, your relationship with God, and even your sexual connection. We’ll explore how each covenant builds upon the last, leading us from duty to desire, from sacrifice to self-awareness, and ultimately, to greater love and intimacy. If you’ve ever longed for more meaning in your relationships—or a deeper spiritual lens through which to view them—this episode is for you.

Episode 366 - The Law of Intimacy

Does sex in your marriage ever feel like a power struggle? You're not alone. Whether you're the partner who wants sex more often or the one who wants it less, the imbalance can create tension, guilt, and frustration on both sides. In my normal open and honest way, we are going to discuss why the lower-desire partner often ends up in control of the sexual rhythm in a relationship. We’ll dive into the emotional weight both partners carry, explore how this dynamic affects connection, and share practical ways to shift from a tug-of-war into a true partnership. If you’re ready to stop feeling powerless or pressured and start working with your spouse instead of against them, don’t miss this episode.

Episode 365 - Who Controls The Sex In Your Marriage?

Katelyn Peach, Doctor of Physical Therapy, is back for this episode where we talk about pelvic floor physical therapy for men. One of the biggest misconceptions that Katelyn sees in her practice is that men think that they either don’t have a pelvic floor or since they don’t have babies, their pelvic floor is never an issue. This is far from the truth! Katelyn lets us know how pelvic floor issues affect men, what she can do, and even what your first visit will look like. If you or your husband has pain in the pelvic floor area, this is the episode to listen to!

Did you miss last week’s episode where we talked to Katelyn about pelvic floor physical therapy for women? You can find that here [http://www.amandalouder.com/podcast/363/].

Katelyn Peach is a Doctor of Physical Therapy, specializing in pelvic floor physical therapy. She treats patients of all genders and ages with a variety of pelvic floor conditions, including sexual dysfunction, bowel and bladder issues, pelvic pain, and pregnancy/postpartum. 

Katelyn received her Bachelor's degree in Exercise Science from Brigham Young University, an d her Doctorate of Physical Therapy from Rocky Mountain University. She has continued her education through Herman and Wallace Pelvic Rehabilitation Institute to specialize in pelvic floor. She currently works in a cash-based clinic in Murray, UT - Well Being Physical Therapy. 

In her spare time, Katelyn enjoys spending time with her husband and 3 kids, dancing, reading, and baking all things sourdough. 

You can find more information on her clinic's website, wellbeingphysicaltherapy.com [http://wellbeingphysicaltherapy.com/], on Instagram @wellbeingphysicaltherapy, or on their Facebook page, www.facebook.com/pelvicphysicaltherapy [https://www.facebook.com/pelvicphysicaltherapy].

Episode 364 - Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy for Men

In this episode, Katelyn Peach, who is a Doctor of Physical Therapy, is going to be speaking with us about pelvic floor physical therapy for women. She treats patients with a variety of pelvic floor conditions so I was able to pick her brain on why you need to see a pelvic floor physical therapist, what she can do to help you, what that first visit will look like, and so much more! This is a must listen episode! Plus, next week, we will be talking about pelvic floor physical therapy for men so mark you calendars!

Katelyn Peach is a Doctor of Physical Therapy, specializing in pelvic floor physical therapy. She treats patients of all genders and ages with a variety of pelvic floor conditions, including sexual dysfunction, bowel and bladder issues, pelvic pain, and pregnancy/postpartum. 

Katelyn received her Bachelor's degree in Exercise Science from Brigham Young University, and her Doctorate of Physical Therapy from Rocky Mountain University. She has continued her education through Herman and Wallace Pelvic Rehabilitation Institute to specialize in pelvic floor. She currently works in a cash-based clinic in Murray, UT - Well Being Physical Therapy. 

In her spare time, Katelyn enjoys spending time with her husband and 3 kids, dancing, reading, and baking all things sourdough. 

You can find more information on her clinic's website, wellbeingphysicaltherapy.com [http://wellbeingphysicaltherapy.com/], on Instagram @wellbeingphysicaltherapy, or on their Facebook page, www.facebook.com/pelvicphysicaltherapy [https://www.facebook.com/pelvicphysicaltherapy].

Episode 363 - Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy for Women

Sex in marriage can sometimes feel imbalanced—one person initiates while the other holds the power to say yes or no, or one partner’s needs take priority over the other’s. But what if there was a way to create a deeper, more fulfilling connection? In this episode, we explore the concept of mutuality in marriage, a powerful approach where both partners’ needs, desires, and well-being are valued equally. Drawing from Dr. David Schnarch’s insights, we’ll break down what it truly means to love well in a sexual relationship—not out of obligation or self-sacrifice, but through a balanced, collaborative connection. So, what does mutuality look like in the bedroom? And how can couples cultivate more of it? Tune in to find out.

Episode 362 - Mutuality in the Sexual Relationship

As a Certified Sex & Marriage Coach, and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Amanda Louder helps conservative Christian women love their sex life! In this podcast, Amanda helps women embrace their sexuality so that they can become the woman they were created to be. She teaches you how to integrate sexuality into your marriage in a loving and healthy way, get rid of the drama and negative emotions around sex in your marriage, and develop a better relationship to yourself, your spouse, and your sexuality.

Amanda Louder

Shows