Transcript
Speaker: Tell anyone what's the price of being alone Which bank do you own? Did you decide what you were told?
Speaker: Do you do it for the love or do it for the money? The poor die up and the rich get lucky Cash is king and I'm a caster honey Do you do it for the love or do you do it for the money?
Speaker: Do you do it for the love? Do it for the money? The poor guy up and the lazy kid loving Cash is king of the gesture honey Do you do it for the love? Are you doing for the money?
Speaker: I love you
Speaker: If I'm alone, all you do is follow my name
Speaker: Yeah, buddy. That's how you kick off a Saturday night show right there. I got Mojo in your ear holes, motherfuckers. If you're not already, go check those guys out on all social media. Go listen to all their music, stream the shit out of it. Comment on everything they post that we sent you just to confuse the shit out of them, make them scratch their heads and go, what the fuck is this nonsensical nonsense shit all about? Maybe they'll actually follow back.
Speaker: What's going on, Mark? They do follow us. What are you talking about? Oh, do they? Oh, there you go. The band, the actual Blacktop Mojo, Matt and Kat both follow us. Well, there you go. And I'm actually friends with Matt and Kat on Snapchat as well. Oh, and that reminds me, we forgot to mention, I don't, do you know the name of the drummer? I do not. I feel horrible because the only two people I know... I feel bad about it, but it was his birthday. It was just his birthday on Wednesday.
Speaker: And we didn't know it. And I didn't realize it until after. And I felt like shit. I was like, shit, it was his birthday. Well, let's see here. Let's. Yeah, look, I'm up. Let's Google it. Google it. Blacktop Mojo. Let's see if we can get some info on them. I want to say Mark. Nathan Gillis.
Speaker: Nathan. Happy birthday, Nathan. Hopefully, that's that's accurate on Wikipedia. Happy birthday to you, Nathan. Yeah, I said it last week and I'll say it again this week. Those motherfuckers, I don't know how they do it, man. I truly don't know how they do it. They are on the road in a different city every night and they kill it at every fucking stop. Oh, yeah. I I seriously hope they get they get bigger than
Speaker: then you know anybody I don't want to give up date myself and say something like Metallica bigger than the stones fuck yeah well the Beatles I mean you want to talk about big everybody knows yeah well that's that's a tough call Jackson
Speaker: but i seriously i seriously wish them the best for the simple fact that they are such a badass band and they are extremely hard workers, harder than we work but uh well no no no no no no no no no no no no no
Speaker: I don't know. I don't know if he's in here, but Luke, if you're in here, give us a shout out. Say you're here because somebody named Luke asked me, I posted on one of our, one of the pages, 400 ,000 pages I posted to. They asked me, where can I see it? I said, go to Facebook nonsense, go nonsense. We'll be there. Seven central. Seven central.
Speaker: Blacktop Mojo. They do our intro music breaks break. And then the official, as we said, Wednesday night, the official show ender is Wicked Woman. That'll be our official ending until they send us a cease and desist because every time we watch that video, Jeff creeps out on Matt's while that and you creep on Matt's. Wow.
Speaker: I don't know if they're engaged, married, or what, but you creep on his woman. I know, but that woman looks badass in that outfit. And it's not even an outfit. The red eye is the whole nine yards. It's an ensemble, and she looks good. But they allow us to use our music. She's good looking without the ensemble, but the ensemble really kicks it off. Let me tell you.
Speaker: So, uh, but yeah, go check them out. Blacktop Mojo. And then, uh, comment, tag us and let them know that we sent you. Just, just because I think it's be more and more of a confusing thing than anything else. But anywho, enough of that. Welcome to the show, everybody. Welcome to Nonsense Go Nonsense. I'm Glick, as always, hanging out with the, dude, this, this no facial hair shit is just killing me. I'm glad you put a bald cap on today.
Speaker: Yeah, I put a ball cap on because I found it. It's podcast. But anyways, yeah, hanging out with Jeff as always. I'm, I'm stalling this because I'm trying to open up snap. Oh, I got a Snapchat story for you today too as well. Old people in technology. What's going on?
Speaker: the the
Speaker: But yeah, definitely welcome to the show, guys. Hopefully you guys are having a good Saturday night. If you're not already, we've said it a couple times in here, but feel free to check us out on all social media at non -sensical nonsense on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or even on TikTok. And you can also get every episode of the podcast on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcasts, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your podcast jollies.
Speaker: And much like tonight, if you'd like to join us live, we're live every Wednesday and Saturday night. You can join us on HAPS TV, YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook, all at nonsensical nonsense. Go give us a follow. Go give us a like and give Jeff a pounding and a double thumbing while you're at it. That pop actually comes through. That pop comes through because I heard it. I was listening to an episode and I heard the pop and I lost my mind laughing.
Speaker: My kids are like, what's so funny? I was like, don't worry about it. Don't ever understand. Stop listening to my fucking podcast. So, yeah, so Snapchat today, I had a little blunder. Yep. On the head for the beers with the homies. Hell yeah, blazing cheers to you, man. Be safe out there and have fun. Yeah. So today,
Speaker: Um, I know you like to, you tried to lump, lump us as a whole, the two of us into being lazy. Um, but I do a lot of work. I do a lot of work on this because they go to a shit ton of more. They do a little shit ton of more shows.
Speaker: Yeah, we do. But they're musicians. They're rock stars. It's not like we're doing the podcast in different locations every night. Yeah, maybe one day. But that would mean we'd have to come back to the States. Sounds like a lot of work. I know. I understand. Logging into Facebook is a lot of work for you. But that's either here or there. Dude, I literally, it took me like 45 minutes to figure out
Speaker: Log into Snapchat. Well, you're an idiot. Yeah. Well, I'm old. Yeah. So today I was doing my normal thing. I spent a few hours.
Speaker: updating and posting and all that jazz posted to the last couple of shows and on Twitter and Instagram and all this other stuff. And I was going live everywhere for a few minutes, TikTok, Habs, Instagram, Twitter, blah, blah, blah. So I was trying to share out the link onto Instagram. Okay.
Speaker: because you can't, you can't, you have to actually have the link and this, that, the other thing or whatever. And for whatever reason, it sent it to like every fucking buddy on my Snapchat. And all it was, was a Facebook login thing. It wasn't even the actual link. So login to your, your page as you, I started getting a message and they're like, what the hell is this? And I was like,
Speaker: I didn't snap any of you people. What do you want? Then I had to go back and look and I was like, son of a bitch. So, yeah, like, I don't know how many people got that, but there was a bunch of them. Sorry about that, guys. I'm old and technology escapes me. And I still never succeeded at posting the link on Instagram either. So I just posted the clip of my top 10 opening
Speaker: the clip right from where on on on Instagram today. I actually actually did advertising today and I you know, I made up my own real quick. It's just a picture of you and us. You basically use the same thing I did from Wednesday night. Did you read what I put? Did you put morons? Watch these two morons. But did you read it?
Speaker: I spelled two wrongs. Yeah, you misspelled a couple of things. And here's what's funny. I literally sent it out for the I was like, Okay, last one I sent it out. And I was like, Oh crap, I spelled too wrong. I spelled too wrong. And then I was like, Oh, I spelled that wrong too. Oh, shit. I'm also like 45. So I was like, I'm an idiot.
Speaker: And I was like, fuck it. That's why I put morons. Yeah, right. Well, that's why I put morons. Yeah. Because we're not too bright. Big old dummies. I wasn't really going to sit around there and edit 45 fucking posts. Well, it's bad enough that when I get done with a podcast, I have to fight with Facebook.
Speaker: say, I literally do the same thing on each one. Black Top Mojo is giving us permission to use their song, their songs in our podcast. And I just copy and paste it back and forth. And that's what I said. I wish that there was a wish that there was like
Speaker: some way i could just be like hey dummy stop doing this we've told you ever again type wheel but obviously there i mean there's no way to do it i think it's it's just a a standard monitoring thing like it's a like an algorithm i don't think it's actually going it's fucked up fucked up it's a it's a computer yeah it's a computer program right at the end of the day so it's like and and any and any music like
Speaker: If we, if we open a show with some of their older stuff, whatever, we typically don't have any issues with it, but I like playing music from the new album because I want to get the new album out there. I want people to hear it. Uh, and hopefully they'll go listen to it. Um, well, I think, I think that the algorithm has. She says I am built into it. You know, there's just an app. I think it has it built into it. Oh, nope. That's copyrighted song. Boom.
Speaker: Yeah, anytime anytime they do a cover song. So I mean, it's it is what it is. It's it's a struggle that we're going to have to deal with it for I don't know how long. Yeah. So one of us starts paying for an actual program that we can use it. It doesn't fuck us up. So considering neither one of us have money.
Speaker: Well, there's that. Give us your money. It would require us having money. It's a pain in the ass, but it could be a lot worse. At the end of the day, it takes all of maybe five minutes. It's a pain in the ass, but it's...
Speaker: It's worth it painting the ass. It might be more of a painting the ass for you, because you go live on 14 different fucking Facebook pages. Six. Six. Rather than going just live onto nonsensical nonsense. Yeah, but then I can't post it. I can't. I know you can. Once you get a laptop, you'll be able to get a laptop. I will. Because then you got all that track. You got. Yeah, you got you got. It's like.
Speaker: I can't remember if it's in California or if it's in China. I know those are way off, but there's a freeway that goes from like 10 lanes of traffic down to one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like all of Mexico, but it's also, I think it's in China.
Speaker: Yeah. So that's kind of what you do when you, when you, when you scatter it out, whereas I'm able to put it onto our page and then share it from our page. So it all directs it right back into one location rather than having all these comments or anything like that, unless you've got six devices, which I'm going to send you a link to a video that you need to watch because it can actually take your phone's camera and make it
Speaker: your camera as opposed to using the camera that's built into the laptop so you get better quality the camera on my laptop is uh pretty good quality so oh it is it is but the phone it is good quality don't hear me rock but the phone like my phone camera is as good as it gets i don't know how many mega pickles but it's like 14 billion or some shit like that but you know it's like your back camera is always better than your front camera
Speaker: Yeah. Well, again, our show is technically, our show is technically an audio show. It's not a visual show. We just use the visual aspect to go live. So I just want to look good. That's all I just want to look good. You're going to need more than a camera to help you look at filters.
Speaker: might I suggest one of those, uh, high stick surgeons? Maybe, yeah, maybe, maybe go find your magic lamp that a genie will come out and grant you three wishes and wish to be handsome. I don't know what to tell you, but come out and wish for wishes.
Speaker: My looks would be the last fucking thing because Jeffrey Bezos would not be the richest motherfucker on the planet after that. Yeah, I think there's a couple of good ones down there. I want $23 trillion, bitch. That is all. He gave half his money to his ex -wife, and he's still the richest man in the world. Exactly.
Speaker: Hey, he's got $70 billion. There are 70 billion people in the country. He's got $200 billion and there's only 7 billion people on the planet. I'm like, I'm sorry, dude. Your math does not compete.
Speaker: Yeah. I'm not saying I'm the smartest motherfucker on the planet, but man, those videos make me feel smart. That is exactly how it works though, man. I don't know why you're trying to deny these people there. It's that woke math. That's what it is. Apparently math is racist. That was a thing in 2020. There was like for like three weeks, math was racist. I was like,
Speaker: Nobody can explain that it's racist. Fair enough. I mean, it is what it is. I guess who am I to judge? Oh, girls in here. I'm only here for one thing. Oh, I'm on Snapchat. Q is going to add you on Snapchat. Yeah, same name. That's not.
Speaker: Well, it used to be on air, but I changed it because I was going to, I'm going to do the second podcast, but I just haven't, I got to get, what is your Snapchat? KTM productions. Yeah. Everybody who hears this ad KTM productions, all one word on Snapchat. And if you're a guy, Jeff loves dick pics.
Speaker: So send him all the dick pics every night. As my phone starts blowing up while we're on the fucking block, man. Beep beep beep beep beep beep. Was that more fucking dick pics? Thanks a lot, Chris.
Speaker: He loves. Good morning. Dick picks. Good afternoon. Dick picks. Good night. Beautiful. Dick picks. Put filters on your, on your dick. So it makes funny faces. This one's got a mustache and a sombrero. He's celebrating single. That's my neighbor.
Speaker: So yes, at KTKM productions, all one word on Snapchat, Adam and send them dick pics. Hey buddy, I hear you like a good old fashioned thumbing. Here's my dick. I wake up in the morning, there's like 400 dicks on my phone.
Speaker: Who's this? Oh, Dick. Oh, who's this? Oh, Dick. Block, block, block. Spend like next six months blocking, photo blocking. You, sir, are welcome. She's going to add you on Snapchat. So there you go. I'm there. I'm always there. It's become like my new favorite app. Well, the nice thing about it is I can look, uh, like, well, the video I sent you
Speaker: Uh, tiny, it's like, uh, I, it would totally go viral, but a, she's hooking weed in it. B she's just in the broth. And I was like, yeah, but you couldn't see it. You couldn't see anything. The fact that her mother literally watches and her mother doesn't know, it would just be watches if she knows now. She can't understand B. She doesn't watch because we're too close.
Speaker: Nobody has a family watch. My kids might watch. They don't get it. Cash tonight, he was like, you going live? I said, yeah, I'm getting ready to do the show right now. He's like, on TikTok? I was like, no, dude. He's like, oh, man, I followed you guys on TikTok. So when you go live, I can watch. We never go live on TikTok, dude. We did this last Saturday. Well, we don't do the show on TikTok. No.
Speaker: We haven't figured out how. We haven't figured out how. I don't think he can. Could you add this to a TikTok? That'd be awesome. I know. I'm not going to because we would get banned. We'll get banned within 30 seconds. Yeah. Yeah. We got banned on TikTok one night when you were playing video games and I was listening to music for hate speech. Yeah. Fuck TikTok. What the fuck? I do edit a TikTok today.
Speaker: It was, it was art. I do edit a tick tock today. It was ours on our page. I'm promoted to show. I, I, I sat there for a good 45 minutes and just blew up the interwebs. What I had a conversation with a, with a, a buddy of mine.
Speaker: Today, he was like, I've been told I should start a Snapchat, or it's not Snapchat, a podcast. I was like, we'll do it. So do it. The thing is, the problem with starting a podcast, it's actually extremely easy nowadays to start a podcast, but you got to have a co -host. You cannot do it by yourself. It's just like, fuck.
Speaker: Well, not unless you got a gimmick or a catch or a nature. You know, if you're like, I'm going to read scary stories, you could easily do that or true crime or whatever. I mean, you could do it. But it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel the same. No, it's yeah. Trust me. I know. My co -host doesn't like to show up from time to time. Oh, my God. One fucking time. I've been more than one time. God damn it. When?
Speaker: name the episode always no because I scratched the episode there's been two episodes that I scratched because they were just bad you know maybe maybe that's what you need to co -host because you're just bad by yourself I'm not bad by myself first and foremost I've done it for a long time
Speaker: But yet you scratch. I don't need you, Jeff. You need me. Like I said, I do plan on doing the second one, just like you plan on doing a sports one. But I can't have you as a co -host on the KTM's garage because you'd just be sitting there like this is dumb. Why? Because you're afraid of my knowledge of cars that is far superior to yours.
Speaker: and you don't want to be made to look dumb.
Speaker: Chris, you said a lot of dumb shit, but saying that your knowledge of cars is superior to mine is the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say. Look buddy, look buddy, look buddy, we've talked about cars the last couple of weeks and I've thrown out there some things that you didn't even know about. And I guarantee you there's Honda guys out there that are still heads exploding because you say you called it a, you called it K20, a K75, 52 with the turbo. First of all, first of all,
Speaker: It was the L20. All right. Everybody knows that the L20 is a better, faster car. What's the L stand for, Chris? What's the L stand for? Let's test your knowledge. What's the L stand for? Lima. Lima. Is it Peru? Foxtrot, ultrasound, cattle prod, kangaroo, Jeff. Letter stands for the block number.
Speaker: Yeah, that's because the block shaped like an L or the other one shaped like a K. So when you got the L shape, you get better fluid motion and the aerodynamics in your, in your injection injectors. So your oil and your gasoline performs better instead of the K where you got to go this way and that way and that way. You know, it's just, it's science, man. Basic science, bro.
Speaker: Don't get mad at me. There's mechanics hanging themselves in the garage. Speaking of like you talking about cars is like me trying to explain football to you. No, there's a difference. I know cars and you don't know football. I know football. That's the one with the the H at the end of the field, right? Yeah.
Speaker: You know football. You know there's guys in tight pants that you enjoy watching. Yes. I watch football for the sexy man butts. Just a reminder, please send me dick pics at my Snapchat, KTK and productions. If you see me screenshot your dick pic, it's because I'm sending it to Chris.
Speaker: So he can enjoy the action, too. And if he sends me any dick pics, just know that I will be saving them because I'm going to create a book called Coffee Table Books that you just leave on the coffee table. Dicks I want to fuck. No, that's your book. No, it's going to be artistic. He's hiding behind the shadow. Stink his head off the wrong wall. How are you doing?
Speaker: his kids walk in the room calling my screen and face it, put the Mona Lisa face on one. Replacing the fucking Harrison Ford's face with a big dick with Laura. Way you piece of sand.
Speaker: I've seen Star Wars a million times. I do not remember Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker being giant penises. I don't remember them. They are now. They weren't. Those aren't lightsabers. Those are giant penises all the way down. Why are they holding penises in that hand? Speaking of movies, and speaking of dicks, my series of the week. Were you accidentally on the gay XNX site again?
Speaker: No, no, I actually on Netflix, there's a show and it's the next next fix. Yeah, worked hard Netflix original show and it's called Big Mouth. It's a cartoon. It's a cartoon. Yes, it is animated. But fuck that shit is hilarious. It's it's the show is it. Oh my god. It's not for the kids. If you cash watch this, you'll be the worst father of the year. No. Oh, no, it's it's really bad. Like
Speaker: You're, you're, you're right. Shoot you, but it's literally the whole show is about, about this group of kids in middle school. They're slowly going for puberty. And now what happens when you go through puberty? The first time you see boobs on a chick, you're like, Oh shit, that's amazing. They can hear dick gets hard. Well, each one of these kids has a hormone monster. Hmm.
Speaker: It's constantly telling me, you should go jack off. And oh my gosh, it is so fucking funny. And it's based on, it's loosely based on Nick Kroll and his best friend Andrew's life growing up in New York. And holy shit. I'm in, I have like one episode left of season five. I've been watching it since 2019, or 2016, sorry.
Speaker: And it is hilarious. And I just found out you can buy the plush, plushy stuffed animals of the hormone monsters on Amazon. And I've dropped hints. That's what I want for my birthday. There's something seriously wrong. You are a 40 year old man. But Maya Rudolph plays one of the hormone monsters. And her, she is so fucking funny.
Speaker: I don't know who plays the guy, Horma Monster, Morrie, but oh my God, he's hilarious. At one point, the kid obviously don't see anything, but he jerks off and he's like, Morrie, what do I do with the mess? And he just looks at him as he's walking out the door, sleeping it big and closes the door. It's so funny.
Speaker: Uh, season five just came out yesterday and I spent most of the day watching it. I've been waiting until season five to come out so I could actually bring it up on the podcast. Because seriously, and it's, you don't have to actually pay attention to every show. It's very much like Kim's convenience. You can kind of keep it in the background.
Speaker: But when you watch it, you remember these things that happen to you as a kid, because they have a shame wizard that when you do something, you feel dirty about it when you're a kid. But all these emotions when you're a kid, when you're going through puberty, because the wind blows, your dick gets hard. And it's an interesting way to go through it once again. What are you talking about? I know.
Speaker: I'm speaking of hard. But it's an interesting way of looking at, you know, the sexuality of how you did back then. And you're like, wow, that kid's an idiot. And you're like, yeah, I was an idiot too. Holy shit. But they just did an episode called No Nut November where they all vowed to not masturbate. And by the end of the episode, less than a week,
Speaker: They all fail. Yeah. Oh, I got a No Nut November video I want to do on TikTok. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You blasting all over the camera. Didn't make it, boys. Exactly. No, no, no. No, because because unlike some people, I actually put thought into the stuff that I'm going to do. I don't just I have several I have several videos saved.
Speaker: so that I can stitch them once I figure out exactly what to say. Well I'm talking about on our page, not my page. I don't really focus on my page anymore. Everything I do is on our page.
Speaker: So, but I got a good one. I got a good No Nut November one for you. Not for you, not just for you, but for everybody. Just for everybody. Well, actually, the funniest one I've seen is, I don't know if you've seen the, it's going around right now, but it's, tell me that you're white without telling me you're white. And a guy stitched it. He walks into the room. He opens the, like, it looks like he's coming to the back door of the house.
Speaker: And he's holding a gallon of milk. And he goes, I brought the milk. How was your day, kids? And my wife was like, holy shit, that's fucked up. I said, yeah.
Speaker: But like another guy, this Ebony gentleman, he stitched it, or he duetted it, and he's laughing his ass off. As soon as he walks in with the milk, he loses it. But my wife looked at it, she's like, I don't get it. I was like, he came home with milk. She's like, yeah, so what?
Speaker: I said, uh, let me, let me see how I could put this. Sometimes dad say, I'm going to go out for milk or cigarettes and they just don't come back. She's like, Oh, yeah. Yeah. The light bulb came on. Yeah. The light bulb. Yeah. And just a tan. Okay.
Speaker: But we literally sat there, we tethered the phone to the TV and we're scrolling through TikTok. And one of my funniest sounds that I haven't figured out what I'm going to do with it, but the whack fuck sound. I want to do something with that sound, I just haven't figured it out. I'm trying to figure out how to do the video my son wrecking into dude's car.
Speaker: because it's a video it's a security video and he's riding his bike and you could tell this motherfucker is hauling ass and he loses control and right into the front of that car I just want to be like well here just play a game of whack fuck whack fuck
Speaker: But yeah, I got a little bit of I was, you know, I was working today. I was actually putting in work, you know, doing some show prep. Right. And I come across a couple of dumb useless trivia things that are now going to live in my head for the rest of my life, rent free. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Did you know?
Speaker: You know, you know, Thomas Edison, right? Yeah. You know, you know what he did, Ian, you know. Well, he invented the light bulb after he stole the idea. Tomatoes, tomatoes, shut up. But he also he also inaugurated the world's first power plant in thousands of inventions, you know, blah, blah, blah. The guy who
Speaker: The guy who is known for creating the light bulb will say known for inventing the light bulb in electricity. Yeah, whatever. You know, he was afraid of the dark. No shit. Yeah, he was terrified of the dark man. So he worked on building the light bulb. Well, they say necessity is the mother of invention.
Speaker: So there you go. He's like, I'm afraid of the dark. I'm going to build a light bulb. What's a light bulb there, Tom? Give me six months. I'll show you. Yeah. I will show you. He is the greatest example of never giving up. Yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, a lot of these guys, a lot of these inventors and, whoa, did he just really torch the defense like that? Nicely done.
Speaker: A lot of these inventors are like that. I mean, they fail time and time and time and time again. I actually have a counter interesting fact that's not really general knowledge. It's just kind of, you know, I watched a video. It was like a little fun fact. For every Steve Jobs, there's a thousand people that did the exact same things as Steve Jobs.
Speaker: You know, but they failed and I watch a video and somebody sent me a video or something. It was like when to give up and I was like, that's kind of fucked up and it's and it was literally that's what they said in the video is like, you know, for every Steve Jobs or for every Jeff Bezos, there's a thousand people that did the exact same thing and it just didn't catch on. Yeah.
Speaker: So there is a time to give up. You just have to figure out when that time is for you. Yeah, exactly. Well, you want to know another little bit of useless information. It's not that they didn't work hard enough or whatever. And that's stuck in my head for the past couple of days. But yeah, go ahead. You want to know another little useless bit of trivia? Yeah. The speed of a sneeze is approximately 160 kilometers an hour.
Speaker: Nice. I don't know what that translate into miles per hour. Well, 60 miles an hour is a hundred kilometers an hour. Boom. 60 miles. 60 miles an hour is a hundred kilometers, a hundred kilometers. Okay. So you're talking, um, how long, how fast you say it was 160? 160. Yep. Yeah, I can't do that. What about a hundred miles an hour? Yeah, something like that.
Speaker: Roughly ish. I don't know. Go check your speedometer on your car. I'll be right back. Oh wait, it's digital. Shit. Oh wait, mine's in kilometers. Is it really? Yeah. Yeah, they're in kilometers. Mine has both. Mine's not digital. It is digital. Actually, I think Eclipse is from Canada. Eclipse is from the States.
Speaker: It's where it's going to is what speedometer they put in so if it's going if it stays in Japan They put it in kilometers if it's going to the states they put it in miles an hour. It's going to Mexico They put it in kilometer
Speaker: And it's the same thing with Ford Chevy trucks. You know, if it's going to Japan, not that there's a lot in Japan, but if it's going to a country that uses kilometers, they put it in kilometers. Yeah. It's 99 .422, one miles an hour. So basically a hundred miles an hour. Yeah. Which is what I said. Yeah. So your sneeze is about a hundred miles an hour. Also, it is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open, which most people know that. Actually, that's not true.
Speaker: That's that's that's a myth myth busters Busted that myth Adam Savage did it. No, he didn't usually held his eyes open These is the funniest slow most video you'll ever see
Speaker: All that show where they fake stuff because it's reality. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like they, they did the, they did the myth of a needle. Like we are women's orgasms. Yeah, that's, that's fake. It's fake. It's not real. It's like Santa.
Speaker: Well, trust me, it's real. I know where it's at. If someone was in here, you could ask her. I got one more. Show me? No. Look at this. I gotta show Jackson. Don't take it the wrong way, but I'm like, why isn't there a dick there? Oh yeah, that's right. She's a chick. I forgot. I got one more. I got one more little useless tribute.
Speaker: Yeah, useless information, kind of fun trivia that can live in your head. This might become my new thing just because I find this to be fun. Because I have a lot of shit stored in my head. Fuck, right? Yeah. Obviously, we know fuck. You know, we're in the region because I just watched I just watched the history of swear words with Nick Cage. Well, do you know where I originated from?
Speaker: I don't remember what they said, but I, I'm sure you'll go over it in ancient, ancient England. Um, okay. Because at that time sex was only allowed to conceive. And in order to have sex, you had to ask the King. It's for it. Yes. It stands for, for, um, fortification under the consent of the King. Yeah. It's actually older than that though.
Speaker: Who didn't give a dick? He said ancient England. Let's listen to the guy who was forced to make 975 terrible movies. It doesn't give an exact time frame. It says ancient England. What the fuck is ancient England, Jeff? Do you know?
Speaker: Well, no, but it's supposedly older than that. Ancient England was King Arthur's time. Do you know how ancient England is to say that it's older than ancient England? Is it older than King Arthur? Probably. Although, was King Arthur real? I'm pretty sure he was. I don't know that the whole wizard and I don't think the sword and stone thing was real, but I'm saying I'm sure there was a King Arthur, but I think it was like
Speaker: I think that all came of a PR boost. They're like, we need to make this guy awesome. I don't know, Jeff. Why don't you? Why don't you watch one of your fancy movies and shows and tell me? Because apparently the information that I read. History of swear words. The first episode is fuck.
Speaker: Apparently the information that I have is not real because it doesn't say the same thing that Nick Cage told you, where he took time out of filming a thousand terrible movies because he didn't pay his goddamn taxes, so he has to do stupid ass shows like that. How much does that motherfucker owe if he has to do all these movies? Obviously more than he's ever had in his lifetime, because he had to sell all of his fucking houses, all of his... Well, he also bought a bunch of dumb shit.
Speaker: You know, that motherfucker, here's a piece of useless information. That motherfucker bought a T -Rex skull. Yeah, he bought a T -Rex skull for like, I think he paid like $15 million for it. I was like, dude, fiberglass. It's a paint. The fucker looked just as old and caused it like 50 bucks. Yeah. Well, I mean, you want to have the real thing. If you can afford it, buy it.
Speaker: I mean, if I had that kind of money, I'd probably buy one too, but I would make sure my taxes were paid. Yeah. Two things you can't avoid, death and taxes. You could have all the... Okay.
Speaker: Yeah, that's gonna happen. Just got this random Snapchat was like, it was like, hello, I would like to cash app you. Okay. That doesn't sound like a scam at all. Maybe it's for more of our fans, but you didn't give out your Snapchat. So
Speaker: I didn't know. I didn't get my Snapchat. It would have been on mine. I'd been I'd been like, really? I don't have a cash app. I'll set one up for you. Yeah, I'll set one up and then the next thing you know, you're going to be messaging me. Click. This guy. Well, what's it going to do if it's if the cash app's empty? Yeah, right. There's no money. I don't know. I don't know how all that stuff works, man. I don't either.
Speaker: That's why I don't have a cash app. If I don't have cash on me, why would I have it in an app? Stupid. Yeah, I don't have Venmo. I don't have a cash app. And I don't even send money anywhere unless it's like Summer and I sometimes will send money back and forth on Facebook. But that's it. I didn't even know you could do that until she taught me how. I didn't know you could do that.
Speaker: That's cool. Yeah, you just have to have a check -in account. That's what I told you. We start making money off this. When it goes into my account, I can send you your share on Facebook. We don't have to have the cash. Oh, shit. That's cool. I don't even like shopping online. Yeah, that's what all the Mexicans do up here when they send it back home. I don't even like shopping online. I don't either. Speaking of shopping online, I did give me a whole bunch of new Browns gear.
Speaker: I know. You sent me a picture. Yeah, man. Well, when I was at Zuckerberg's for your birthday, well, if it happens during the week, you get the day off and they give you $100 gift card. Oh, nice. So I actually used that gift card on myself when I got me a pair of Browns comfy pants. I have not been for the life of me been able to find a miles gear at fucking Jersey.
Speaker: So I said, screw it. And I had that hoodie made. And on the back, it's got his number and name. And then I got me a toboggan for the winter because it's getting cold up here already. Well, this week, it's been in the 20s and 30s and whatnot in the morning and like in the high 40s, low 50s during the day. Next week, it's going to be in the 70s. It was cold here today. It was 82.
Speaker: Yeah next week is going to be in the 70s up here. Welcome to that time of year when Ohio is where it's very bipolar doesn't know what the fuck it wants to do. I was talking to a buddy earlier. I mean I'm out. I was talking to a buddy of mine earlier today and he said it was um fucking 19 up in Youngstown. Jesus Christ.
Speaker: I was like, fuck that shit. He came in and he was in my live on TikTok earlier than him and I were talking on Snapchat because I'm a degenerate and I like to gamble. Now I have another gambling outlet on DraftKings. They've invited me to join their league where they do football. And then tonight they invited me to a hockey one, which I'm currently winning.
Speaker: I'm gonna enjoy taking their fucking monies. Hell yeah. Give me all that monies. Do not gamble with the guy who probably knows more about sports than he leads on. You know what? Like I said, I actually, once I start working, I'm gonna start hitting you up. What, in the morning it was in the 50s?
Speaker: That's weird. Joe said it was cold down there, too. They're down in Florida. I still have not heard from Pops or anything like that. I do have a top 10 list for tonight, so... Well, I built you a new top 10 playlist, a top 10 intro. Yeah, but I played off of my phone. You know what's crazy is I tried to find the same one that I did for Pops, but I couldn't find it. Like that app was supposed to save them.
Speaker: But you didn't need to do much on it. You had the you had the you had the audio. You just had to put it into a video so that we could play it. Yeah. Sound clip. But but I actually put background sounds to it, too. I did not, however, and everything that I was doing today, I did not look up news stories. So I'm going to totally wing that tonight. And hopefully there's some good ones in the news. So I got busy and then I had to cook. I had to literally fried chicken tonight. I didn't try chicken, but I cooked chicken.
Speaker: Well, we had sandwiches all day. The kids are at grandma's house. Can't pick them up this morning. And, uh... Cash wanted, uh... Cash wanted Chicken Alfredo. And, um, last time Summer was up here, um...
Speaker: I guess Kroger's had chicken, buy one get one free, the chicken breast. And I didn't realize how big these fucking chicken breasts were until I opened them and each one of them were like three pounds of fucking piece. So I was like, well, shit, I'll just go ahead and cook up the other two, throw them in the refrigerator, and then I'll have them for dinner this week when they're not here. What I like to do with when I got leftover chicken is I literally put it on in a sandwich.
Speaker: Mustard mayonnaise and a piece of chicken. Fuck, that's awesome. Yeah, which is obviously what I was thinking about doing one day. Just kind of slicing it because I've got some pretty sharp knives. So just kind of slice it into some like that thin, but you know what I mean? Slices. Yeah. And just make some sandwiches off of it. Throw it in the skillet and kind of warm it up on both sides real quick. Yeah, boy. Yeah.
Speaker: that was awesome man that chicken i made tonight i'm not a big fan of cooking chicken but that chicken i made tonight man well i'll tell you what that shit was on point it was perfect on the outside and it was still nice and moist and juicy on the inside you know that's the best thing is having pink chicken that's a great
Speaker: The best thing about having an air fryer, the air fryer cooks it perfectly, but if it's too thick, it takes forever. Well, these fucking things were thick as shit, but they were bad. They weren't pink on the inside. Well, I actually get out my grinder wheel, sharpen up my knives right before I cut it, and I fillet it so it's a decent thickness, not crazy thick, but it's a decent thickness, and I can make
Speaker: one chicken breast, go to four people and everybody gets like six. Well, we'll try it pops. Apparently we'll be back next week with the top 10. We'll try it. Hopefully, hopefully he's got a good signal out there. You got, you got time. Come up with a good one. If not, I've got, I've got some of my back pocket. There's one thing that I did stop by. I still have a three or four more.
Speaker: Oh my God. I'm still, I'm still, I was telling my buddy, this morning I went to go get cigarettes and I stopped by my buddy's place cause he had the day off and we were sitting there chatting and he's like, what was the top 10 this week? Cause he, his internet went out and I was like, oh, and I was telling him about the robberies and the guy robbing the gun store, the bat. And I had it rolling. Tell him just listen to the damn show.
Speaker: Well, his internet just went out. He's got to get his internet. He's got to switch providers. Oh, there you go. But he's usually at work. He actually goes to work while we're alive. Nice. Yeah. I was like, get a different job, dude. We can listen to the show. Yeah. Well, he's got him. He actually drives a, he actually picks people up back and forth from airport.
Speaker: So on the way, when he's got nobody in the car, he listens. But on the way back, he can't listen because you don't want to offend people. I'm like, I get that. You got to worry about that in Mexico? No, because they're Americans. People in the car, he's picking up from the airport, speak English. Yeah. Click is the man. What's up, monkey man, Jay? What's going on, brother? I told him just don't play episode 14. You'll be fine.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: and he's like you mean it's not just turning my camera on and talking I was like well if you're my co -host yes but I said there's a lot of work involved with you know doing the show you know if you do any show prep like I do uh you know if there's you know editing and posting and promotion and and networking and everything else the promotion is kind of uh uh the hardest it's not like say the hardest part but it's it's the most
Speaker: you have to
Speaker: club care. I post, I post this bitch everywhere in worst case scenario, they delete it. I posted it. I posted in every group. I post that bitch in the Newark selling wall, the Mount Vernon selling wall, the Johnstown selling wall. I posted every, I don't post our lives, but I'll post links to the show and links to our, our, you know, like, Hey, we're going live tonight type deals. I post that bitch in literally every group I've made.
Speaker: And the only group I've ever gotten yelled at was for doing it was from my damn high school alumni page. Which is fucked up.
Speaker: Y 'all just some hating ass motherfuckers because I'm the only one that's doing anything from this goddamn school. So I hated you tricks. Well, he's not. What do you expect? Standards were pretty low as far as doing something with your life. You're saying they are way too high for them. They're like, holy shit, this guy's fucking Joe Rogan. No, Joe Rogan. I'll never be that big of a douchebag.
Speaker: But yeah, so him and I was talking and he was like, I'd probably get banned. So I'm like, dude, I am. Dude, if you haven't got banned, nobody's going to get banned. I was like, I am a million times worse than you are. I'm real. I don't play a personality. I'm not fake. Like, I wanted to say him. But I said, like most people, what's going on, Steph? And I was like, Jeff and I have not gotten banned.
Speaker: My wife was giving us a compliment the other day. She was telling one of her friends about it, and she literally handed me the phone. She's like, send us this chick a voice message and tell her how good your podcast is. I was like, it's cool. I said, we don't own back. And she's like, you're not really selling it. I was like, I don't know who the fuck I'm talking to. I can't go off.
Speaker: Good job. Yeah. And I know, but I went to a little hotel and she's like, she says, as long as you don't aren't easily offended, you'll find it funny. Yeah. You're you're you're you're your wife. I was choosing my words wisely there. Your wife gave me the opportunity to promote our show. And I did promote it. I did promote it. But you're just like, well, it's you know, we do a top 10. We do what the fuck news. We do
Speaker: a series of the week. It's mildly structured, but then we go off at rants and we usually go for about two to three to eight hours. We try to keep it at two hours, but we tend to go over. I went off on it and she's like, but tell her how funny it is. I'm like, well, we're funny.
Speaker: You know, we do a podcast. I don't know. She says she said on the pot. She's like, they are extremely funny. She said they're not my kind of funny.
Speaker: But they're funny. And I was like, you're kind of you're married to one of those kind of funny. I kind of I kind of want to get the guys. I kind of want to get the guys at work listening to it, but I'm not really like they would dig it. They totally would, I think. Plus, we all think pretty much the same way. So I just I don't know if I really want to go. Hey, guys.
Speaker: Cause like the one that I've been quote unquote training with, uh, he's a cool kid. He, I say kid, he's almost 30, but he's a cool cat and we've talked about the podcast and he's always like, so, you know, what are you guys talking about? We bring it up and talk about it. But I don't want to be like, Hey, you should listen to it because.
Speaker: They're going to listen to the show and be like, I probably shouldn't have hired this fucking guy. Right. No, I totally understand that. Like, uh, I was in that genre the other day and he's like, uh, what do you do for your hobbies? I said, well, I, you know, I, I like to build stuff, you know, I said, I said, I also do a podcast twice a week. And he's like, Oh yeah. What's your podcast about? And I was like, uh,
Speaker: We'll get to that. So let me get the job first. Because once again, it's like if this guy starts listening, and they're like, yeah, we're not going to hire you. You're weird. But I mean, eventually I'll get there. Shit, I'll get it. I'll put a poster over the wall. I'm going to get some flyers made, and I'm just going to stick them around camp. Yeah.
Speaker: with the link to the Spotify account, not to the live, because then they can actually see it's you. Well, that's the thing. Can I walk around here? Eventually, although I'll get spotted on campus and be like, hey, we know you. That would be hilarious. The thing is, just like when we were talking to Rob, the woke shit. Well, and that's the thing, and that's any college campus right now. He'll get mopped.
Speaker: yeah and that's the thing and that's all over and that's all over campus i mean they ride on the sidewalk in chalk and it's it's it's everywhere it's insane oh crap chocolate right now not so good not so spark yes yeah right listen the nonsense of the nonsense on spotify can i see your piece of chalk there
Speaker: And as you sit there and do that, what's that, that GR code? You sit there drawing it out on the ground so they can scan it. I got my phone in on it. Chris, what are you doing? No advertising? Everybody else is doing it. I'm fixing the sidewalk. They had a crack in it. I'm filling it in with this new crack filler. It looks like chalk, but don't worry. I'm fixing it.
Speaker: there's nothing to see here nothing to see don't mind me that's funny fuck that'd be hilarious but you know that that'd be something to do is you get stickers
Speaker: With the bark with the with that gr code you just kind of slap them on stuff as you're walking around. What was that? I don't know So many somebody smack that hole as a bug. I had to kill it You leave your sticker Some nonsensical nonsense stickers and whatnot that's when those you can get those pretty cheap. Where's keeley? I don't either make sure you get that that barcode the the the the GR to the the where people can scan it
Speaker: and takes them right to it i think it's called a key or or if you are but i whatever it's called or some google that that the code looks like a box a bunch of boxes in it the google box yeah the google box i know what it is just get a bunch of those printed out just start slapping one light posts over the ohio state sign and i already hate y 'all that
Speaker: I already get yelled at because they have like, like the crest when you walk up to the library and like everybody walks around it and I just walk across it. And then there's one inside the library and every time I walk by it, I give the DX chop. The guy I work with, he's like, dude, really? I said, every fucking day I'm going to do it. He gets me on camera.
Speaker: Back when Baker was in college with Baker Mayfield, the quarterback of the Browns, he played for Oklahoma and Oklahoma played Ohio State.
Speaker: stomped Ohio State and then Baker ran out and planted, uh, while he attempted to plant the, uh, Oklahoma university flag right in the center of the field on the block. Oh, it didn't stick around very well, but still the point was made. I was like, I'm Baker Mayfield in this shit. Somebody's going to go over to OSU and spray by Wolverines real big and everybody's going to blame your ass. Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, that wasn't me! Like, here I was. Is that a spray paint on your fingers, here? No. Nope.
Speaker: I don't have blue spray paint. I'm yellow. I am not about that. That was more just to him and I think just to because you know he like he's a Buckeye. It's fun. But we have fun. It's fun to fuck your coworkers.
Speaker: Yeah, we have fun and it's not hateful like the majority of the hate that Ohio State fans spew on people that don't root for Ohio State. Em and I just have fun with it. But we also have real talks about football because he's a football fan. So we can have a real conversation about Ohio State and Michigan and they both have their flaws. No matter what it is, it's like I give your dad shit for driving a Ford.
Speaker: there are some forage on like, yeah, okay, I get it. Unless it's that new Ford Maverick, that thing's fucking ugly as shit.
Speaker: Yeah. So we're going to take a, uh, let's take a real quick break. I have a feeling we're going to go about three hours on the show tonight. So, uh, we'll, we'll, we'll take a break here. We'll come back. I got a top 10 list and we'll banter back and forth a little bit. We'll take a second break and then, uh, and, uh, in the third hour, uh, we'll do, we'll get to what the fuck news. Yeah. That'll give me, that'll give me two breaks to look up news articles.
Speaker: Mr. Crap. Mr. Shill Crap. Well, look, like I said, ugly bitches that I just start on my fucking camera. Well, okay. I have a legitimate reason tonight. Yeah. Since the guy who I was literally getting ready to hit the countdown and start the music and you showed up at half hour after I sent you the invite tonight. That literally, I literally kid you not. I turned on my, you know, Tony left to go to dinner. I turned on my phone.
Speaker: It was good 20 minutes for 7 o 'clock, and I said once again not sure whether She's going to Las Pampas. I fucking love that restaurant This fucking restaurant literally you have a you have a a sign on your table and If you put it up red, they don't come up to your table, but if it's green it's like the constantly bring meat and
Speaker: And what'd you like? Cut it off with the steak. I knew you were going to cook good. I bet she keeps it all green all night long. I want the tube steak and mushroom stains on my forehead. Awesome.
Speaker: They have like, they bring up these giant skewers that are, that are like two foot tall. And then they'll take a knife and slice off. Oh, they shave it off. They actually lay it on your plate and then cut off a slice. And, you know, it's, it's, oh, it's fucking awesome. And it pisses me off that she went with them.
Speaker: She's like, you're doing your podcast. I was like, bring me leftovers. It probably would have been awkward with you and Juan there at the same time. Just a little. Anyways. Yeah. A little breaky poo, a little blacktop mojo for you guys. We'll be right back here in just a few minutes. Don't go nowhere. If you do go anywhere, make sure you come back. We got, I got another good top 10 for you tonight. Jeffrey, I think you're going to enjoy this one.
Speaker: And then, whatever else happens to come up in the conversation, Lord only knows. But here comes the Lord.
Speaker: Cast out by the devil I got fire in my bones Burning with the black heart And cursed to roam Life with the sunshine It's cold on my face Forbidden food on my tongue Sweet to the taste You should try and kill me Try and turn me down
Speaker: Shoot your pistol at me, I'll laugh at the sound And as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I'll come out of the valley where life shadows me
Speaker: Baptized in the dead And as I walk through the valley Of the shadow within I come out of the valley Without shadows as breath When safety comes to call There ain't no fear in my eyes Let the rainbow come find me
Speaker: There'll be trouble on the rise There'll be trouble on the rise There'll be trouble on the rise
Speaker: Yeah. Hell yeah. I fucking nailed that shit. You didn't get me this time, Blacktop Mojo. I was waiting for you to say something. I was waiting. I had my finger on the trigger. I was ready, man. I was about to John Wick that shit, and I did it. Yeah, buddy. I was waiting for you to start complaining.
Speaker: I'm on it now. It only took me 55 episodes but god damn it. I got it. Anyways, welcome back to the show, guys.
Speaker: I'm good. That's Jeff. We're still hanging out. Second hour is on its way. It was Blacktop Mojo. You don't know who they are. Go check them out. Go give them a listen. Go give them a like. Go follow them. Let them know we sent you.
Speaker: While you're on the social media thing, following and liking stuff, go check us out at nonsensical nonsense on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, or Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok. Yeah, we're all there at nonsensical nonsense. And while I'm getting there, shut up.
Speaker: And, uh, if you want to join us live for a show anytime and you want to hang out in the chatters box, you can always follow us on YouTube, Twitch, HAPS TV, Facebook at nonsensical nonsense. You can join our lives, hang out with us, you know, do whatever. And, um, if you want to get every episode of the podcast, go ahead and check that out on anchor, Spotify, Google play or a Apple podcast, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your podcast room.
Speaker: Yeah. Go give us a like, go give us a follow, go give us a thumb, and Jesus Christ, if you don't shut the fuck up. I'm excited. I want to hear this top 10.
Speaker: And if you wanna email us and tell Jeff to shut the fuck up until he's queued to get his email address out, you can email us at the email that has an inbox that is located on Gmail. God damn with you. I gotta speed through the goddamn...
Speaker: Social media and everything just because I know at any moment you're like, Oh, here's my, you know, premature ejaculate. It's called premature ejaculation. Yes. What can I say? I get excited. Jesus Christ. You didn't even let me get the double thumbing out. You're just like, Oh,
Speaker: I'm just going to uninvite you and then invite you when you can come back and talk. Just keep my camera off. Jeff's not invited. Mute my mic. Jeff's not invited. We'll let him back in here. We'll invite Jeff back here in just a moment. Fucker can't ever shut the hell up.
Speaker: Yeah, I get excited. I was trying to during during during the break, I was trying to upload that video again and it's still I don't know, man, I'm going to have to. We're going to have to play with it and try to figure out the same problem before it blows my mind that I can upload. Fucking four, four music videos and have no problems with it, but then when it comes to uploading those videos, it fights with me every time. I wonder if it's like a different different file type.
Speaker: I have no idea, Heather. What's going on? I'll send you a different file type, see if I can fix it. If I can figure out how to switch the file type. It's a JPEG. No, a JPEG is a JPEG. It should work just fine. I don't know where the fuck it is. I don't, I don't. It's an MP4. It's a JPEG, something. It's an MP4. MP4 is video. Let me see what it says. Hold on a second.
Speaker: Let me see what it says. I can pull it up actually while we're talking. There you go. Pretty sure it says something else. I just don't know if I can play. Oh yeah, it's an MPEG. Okay, I was right. I said JPEG. You said JPEG. MPEG is a video. That's what I said. I said I said J and then I changed it. Oh, okay. To an M.
Speaker: Yeah, like you said, I don't. It's a K pick. It's just going to random. It's going to randomly start playing at some point. It's going to play 900 fucking times. Yeah, exactly. At this, at this point. And I'm going to punch my laptop and then we're going to have to do a bill fund me for both those to have laptop. If my laptop does start to act up or I have issues with it, I have, I have two devices. I have two phones and I have a tablet. Yeah.
Speaker: Oh my god, the dogs are driving me nuts. The problem is, the kids have started - Have you guys even put out an ad or anything to get fucking rid of them? I've been told we're keeping them.
Speaker: But if I find someone who wants one, there's going to be five puppies missing. Here's the crazy thing is the kids have started giving these puppies attention. And since the kids left today, the puppies have been in the bathroom all day. Granted, it's clean in there and they got food and everything, but they're not getting the attention that they want. So they'd like to make noise every time they hear anybody.
Speaker: Yeah, so first keep them goes you guys you guys already have what four dogs? Yeah, this right with the puppies. It's nine in total Exactly. I'm the only one in the house that's done this math nine dogs in Not the biggest house in the world and it's not like we got a bunch of property for them to run around and
Speaker: And I'm like, you know. And I mean, in my opinion, four dogs, not that my opinion matters, but four dogs is too many for you guys to have. Actually, no, actually, well, since they're not giant dogs, they're medium sized dogs. Well, okay. My neighbors, my neighbors are deathly afraid to come to knock on my door, which is awesome. So that's a plus. Even, even the guy with the Cobra, I talked to him the other day. He actually speaks English. So cool.
Speaker: But I was talking to him the other day, and he's like, oh, your dogs are scary. I was like, really? Dude, you have like 150 pound fucking lab pit bull mix. He's like, yeah, well, your dogs bark a lot. I'm like, OK. Calm down.
Speaker: Yeah, but definitely nine dollars nine dogs are nine dogs Yeah, that's I get the excuse but they're so cute I don't give a fuck how cute they are They're so cute. They should go get a job
Speaker: They can be cute at somebody else's house. Exactly. You can watch them on Instagram. Not only the size of your house, not having the room for them, not having the room for them, not having the yard for them, but the cost of being nine damn dogs. No, the shit alone, dude. Like I have to clean my backyard every two days as it is. Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, especially when you're the only one that does it too. Yeah.
Speaker: I'm slowly teaching my son how to use a shovel. That's just dead dead dudes. Zip it, you little fuckers. You're going to have to teach him how to use a .22 and start sending them fuckers to a farm. Not that I promote the killing of dogs or animals. I've actually talked to a couple of people that might take one or two because
Speaker: As much as they're annoying, they're cute little fucks. But what's even cuter is after I bathed them, I don't know if you've seen, I don't know if you've seen this picture on the internet, but somebody has taken the time to bathe and blow dry baby cows. Have you seen this picture?
Speaker: I have not, but you should definitely send that to summer. It is. Those fucking dogs. They look like giant fluffy. I know, right? They look like giant fluffy dogs. Because when you blow dry an animal, their hair sticks up. So these cows, these baby cows, look fluffy like they're almost fucking sheep.
Speaker: With the puppies, you can't just bathe them and dry them off and let them go. You have to blow dry them. So the puppies, when I get done, since their father's a giant fluffy rabbit, they have that hair too. Well, one or two of them do. So those two, the two of them that get blow dried that are fluffy come out and it just looked like a giant puffball until they make a mess and then roll around and whatever they made a mess in.
Speaker: my wife and the kids think it's okay to let the puppies just run around. The problem is if I walk through the room, the puppies want to follow me around because I'm the only one that feeds them and cleans up after and bathes them and they walk underfoot and then they wonder why they get stepped on all the time. That's the fun part of being me is like I literally, you know, I didn't want four dogs. I wanted one, maybe two.
Speaker: And, and I obviously didn't want five puppies. But now we have all these dogs, but I'm the only one that actually feeds them, gives them water, bathes them, takes care of them, cleans up their shit, all that stuff. I'm the only one in the house that does it. So that's fun. So, you know, the dogs see me and they're like, Oh, he's gonna do something. You know, he's gonna feed us. He's gonna give us water. Oh, he's just doing laundry. Well, let's bother the shit out of him anyways.
Speaker: Yeah, it's fun This dude that randomly had to be on snapchat he's very persistent right now
Speaker: He's like, I'm hoping for this pandemic period. Are you going to be okay with $1 ,500? Like, yeah. How much is this going to cost me at the end of the day? Are you a prince in Nigeria? I think I've seen this email. Oh.
Speaker: I think I've seen that email. I haven't got the Snapchat yet, but I'm curious. Well, you added me from my, from the, from the story. Cause I, you know, I post on the, uh, the snap story, which kind of goes out to everybody and everybody. And you know what the thing is, is because you put, cause I'm old.
Speaker: He honestly probably thinks you're like seven. No, no, no, no, no. No, this is no, no. This is our this is our podcast story that at the beginning where I do the Snapchat and I and I record, you know, the intro given up.
Speaker: social media and all that stuff and where you can find the podcast and where you can join us live. Right. I put it on the snap story and it goes out to everybody. So you can add the hashtags and stuff like that. Yeah. So he followed me from that and then he started messaging me. Okay. He's like, just screenshot your cash app tag and send it to me. Yeah, sure. And I'll have my manager.
Speaker: Yeah. How about you just mail me the $1 ,500? How's that sound? I'll send you my fucking PO box. You can mail it. Yeah. And then when I get it, I'll send you my address. What's the worst case scenario? Was they going to show up here? What did you fuck up? You showed up with the wrong goddamn house.
Speaker: What are we doing tonight? Machete, nunchucks, baseball bat? Or are we going to go Wild West style and have a shootout up in this bitch? I got two friends with me, Smith and Wesson. And they brought 16 of their friends. I'm just saying. Exactly. How are we doing this? And I'm going to do it in a seven foot inflatable T -Rex costume. Hell, yeah.
Speaker: This is why I need cameras in my apartment, because if there was a chance somebody breaks in, I'm going to kick my door shut, lock it, give me just enough time to put my T -Rex costume on. And then when they come through the door, I'll be like, roar! If you see, there's a TikTok out there. There's a TikTok out there that says,
Speaker: And it's literally just shows the room it says Alexa red alert and all the lights turn red and let the bodies at the floor starts playing and Out of a like hope chest rises six guns No, you know, you know what if I ever had that if I ever did that the the song that he that that while bill is dancing to and Silence of the Lambs
Speaker: lights go down low you know like red lights or pink lights come on that start just blaring and I just waddle out with my pecker tuck between my legs in a row come on boy
Speaker: I want the lights to go down low.
Speaker: Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me. Turn to leave the doors on an automatic closure. Slam shut. What? Hey, we gonna play boss. You do the song from fucking police academy.
Speaker: That's another thing I could do. Come out in the assless chaps dressed like a biker. Oh, that reminds me. I actually downloaded something for just this occasion. Hold on. Give me one second. I'm opening my Spotify. I really hope the Brownies win tomorrow. But I don't know. We've got that cancer and that distraction out of our locker room. So hopefully, maybe.
Speaker: That was like, what's his name? The comedian, the little midget. I think his name is Brad Williams. The great part about it is anybody who's listening to this on Spotify or Google or whatever, they don't realize that we're both doing the same stupid thing.
Speaker: It was completely unplanned because you can't see me at all. Exactly, because I literally had to turn my TV on to Spotify. If I had time, if I didn't plan it, but I knew that that was going to come up. So I put that on my saved playlist, where you heart different songs on Spotify.
Speaker: So I put that on there just for this occasion. And I didn't think about the Goodbye Horses one, but I'm going to say that one next. Yeah, that's funny. Brad Williams. I think it's Brad Williams. He's a comedian, and he's a midget. He's talking about Hillary.
Speaker: anybody broke into his house. He's got a samurai sword and he would just run like run towards the door naked with his samurai sword. Oh my gosh. The burglar would be like wait a minute. I saw me. Naked with a samurai sword. I saw like TikTok today. It's obviously from a movie clip because the guy and it's an actor.
Speaker: But this big guy comes up and he's like, how about we go outside and I punch fuck you up and he says, how about I jerk you off right now? He's like, what? He's like, that's right. Pull it up, big man. Let me jerk you up in the whole crowd behind him. He's like, jerk him off. And the big guy's like, oh, you're sick. He's like, oh, yeah. He says, he says, you're sick. He's yeah, I'm sick about jerking you off.
Speaker: My wife's like you're retarded I said name one guy like fine do it No guy, but every guy on the planet's like what what are you freaking is a guy? I'm a freak about jerking you off. Give me here I Think I might have sent it to you. I don't know I sent you a couple of them
Speaker: Well, there's a clip of a guy like at a UFC fight or something like that. And he's like, grab his dick and twist. He's a fan in the audience. Everybody was like, what? And he's like, twist your dick. Damn, Bob, you got issues.
Speaker: I just like people twisted dicks. Well, not a, not a bad debut. One day, one day you and I are in a bar and some guy tries to fight me. I know you're behind me, but I'm still going to pull that move. Pull your dick out. Let me jerk you off. You're just in the background losing your fucking mind.
Speaker: That's where I grab my beer. I don't know this guy. Kick his ass! I just silently walk out of the bar. You're gonna turn around and be like... He's gonna fuck you up, Joe. This guy actually wants a mic, man. What the fuck?
Speaker: I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go stay behind the guy and go, hey, he's gonna jerk you up. He's gonna jerk you off, bro. Like you've never been jerked off before. I'm telling you. You should, you should take him up on that offer. Call his boss. I saw a video. There's gonna be a walk up and be like, there's gonna be like, all right, well, here you go, bro. No, cause the first thing I was saying was like, holy shit, you got a little dick.
Speaker: But I saw a video of this guy, he's like, he's talking shit to somebody and they're like, fine, let's fight. And he starts getting naked. And they're like, what? He's like, yeah, we're going to fight, right? And he's like, not naked. Well, come on, this is how I fight. Yeah. Toss it back. Toss what? Hey, buddy, bro, welcome. Let me toss him back. That'll be the funny thing is if you do that and the dude's like, all right. All right, here you go.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean while in the background remember fellas
Speaker: He loves dick pics. Oh shit. That's funny. I told you. I snapped your fucking blow up tomorrow. I hope it does. I really hope you get dick pics. I don't care if it's only one. I hope you get one. It might not be mine. It might be somebody else's. I just randomly said dick pics. I hope you get one.
Speaker: Yeah, I hope you get one of yours out of this. Well, it will be mine. It's yours. My camera doesn't zoom in that much, Garris, so, you know. Fair warning. I don't send dick pics. I put, I don't know if pasta's like, what the heck are you drinking? Oh, Coors Light. Wow.
Speaker: It was, it was on super sale at Kroger's. It was typically, it's typically around the same. Oh, there you go. Haskins get that. It's typically around the same price as Budweiser, but it was on sale and it was like $6 cheaper than Budweiser for more beer. So I was like, Oh, got that to me. Yeah, there you go. And the whole four that I've had apparently summer's like toss it back.
Speaker: Only had four, and we're going on an hour and a half. Yeah. But I got the mount mes. Core's light. My mount mes are blue, so I'm good. Yeah.
Speaker: Not me, maybe not right now, but I drink a couple beers. Glad I can contribute. You have definitely contributed. You have encouraged my alcoholism and that's all that matters. You always got my back. Thank you for being. Thank you for being awesome. My sugar mom.
Speaker: She, she, she is my sugar mama currently because my broke ass doesn't get a paycheck for another two fucking months or two months, two weeks, two weeks, two months. No, I'm a dude. I like, no, it's, it's, it's every other week. Yeah. I won't get my first paycheck until almost a month after I've been there. Yeah. So.
Speaker: Yeah. I gotta use, I gotta use our credit card, our credit card that she added me on to so I could make it through the next couple of weeks. Fortunately, fortunately with, with the, with the government, you know, looking out for us, I do get some money coming in next Monday, but that's still, I don't get shit. It's like, Oh, you're not working. Go get a job. Bitch.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, that's how our government needs to be, but it's not. Yeah. Well, let's, let's get into that. Let's dive deep into that. Cause I can play this game all night. You know what? If you, if you would like to do that, you can call the Kevin Holly show on Wednesdays. And he would gladly. Yeah.
Speaker: It's, yeah, all it is, all it is is the child tax credit, which is what they give you anyways when you hear your taxes. Right. So it's just half of that. So when I do my taxes this year, that's what Summer just said. You'll only get half to the credit rather than the full credit. Why half? Well, this year, but this year what I do my taxes, because I have a feeling there's some shady shit going on. I'm sick in Summer's pit bull accountant.
Speaker: on my, on the IRS. Nice. So I think he's an accountant. Is he an accountant? I don't, um, just because I haven't screwed the last few. Yeah. I've gotten screwed the last few years and I know it. I'll send you my cousin. I'll send you my cousin's number. He's a CPA. Well, she's got a guy down there that family friends they've used him for years. I think she said she's been going to him since she was like 16. Well, my cousin, my cousin works for H and R blockhead.
Speaker: Yeah, this is the he has his own like I don't know. What is it called a firm or something like that? I think he does, but she kind of told him a little bit about the situation. He's like he needs to send me the last three years and I'll go back. So I was like after after last year. I'm like, yeah, definitely let's let's get him on it because I'm getting screwed somewhere somewhere somehow. Yeah. It's funny how Uncle Sam wants to take but doesn't want to give back.
Speaker: Well, it's not so much on the Uncle Sam side where people scream at. Oh, okay. Well, actually, you know, there's a, there's a, uh, I think it's Princeton. Princeton Law School has a, has a thing on the website. I think I could be wrong about the school, but, but they say, if you can find in, yeah, if you can find a law that says you have to pay taxes,
Speaker: They'll give you a million dollars. Because there's no law saying you have to pay it. You just have to pay it. I find that very odd. But then you get taxed on a million dollars. That's the problem with Uncle Sam. He reaches into your shirt and twists your tit -turtled purple.
Speaker: Yeah, that's the fun thing about taxes. Now see, here's the great thing. I am in, right now, I'm in the greatest loophole the world has ever known. What's that? Because, well, I live in Mexico. And if I make money from the states, I don't have to pay taxes here. Like if the podcast starts making money, I don't have to pay taxes on it in Mexico. Really? But I also, because I don't live in the US, I don't have to pay taxes in the US.
Speaker: Huh. Yeah. It's interesting. I will send, I will send you your cut after taxes. Yeah. Well, I'm sure, I'm sure if they realize, if we start making like Joe Rogan money, they'll definitely be like, Oh, we changed our minds. You're going to have to pay because as it, as it sits, even if, even with a full time job here, yeah, a good full time job.
Speaker: I'm under the poverty line in the states, which means my taxes, I basically would get it all back. Yeah, it's a fun little loophole. Yeah, I don't understand the taxes. I think there's a thing that says that if you can prove, Pops knows a little bit more about it than I do. I don't know if he's still in here. And it can. I think if you can prove that your X amount
Speaker: Indian. Native American, yeah. Native American that you don't have to pay taxes. Well, there's also like Native Americans can open a casino anywhere they want and have it be tax free. Dude, you know what I'm going to do? I'm just going to declare our podcast to church. No, I'm just going to declare our podcast to church because they don't have to pay. Fucking A. Fucking A. This is a church. Because we don't talk religion, we don't talk politics, but our religion is our filth.
Speaker: Yeah, this is all this is our religion. This is our religion. Whoa, who just got called an asshole? Probably me. Somebody I sound like somebody in the background said asshole. Oh, no, no, he said something in Spanish. It was an asshole. Oh, yeah, there's there's several words that sound really dirty in Spanish. I can't think of any off the top of my head.
Speaker: that actually mean almost the complete opposite. It's funny. It's because they're out here playing soccer. Goof it off. Gotcha.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't understand taxes at all. So I might have made some mistakes. But at the same time, there's also some shenanigans going on. So I'm going to get summer's guy on it this year. Even though he's down there, he said he can take care of it for me. Yeah, I don't think it would be a problem. So hopefully I could get that shit fixed and maybe get a little bit of new law back.
Speaker: Yeah, an extra three bucks. Have you seen that movie? I'm talking shit currently in our Snapchat group, the one that I was just added to today. Have you seen that movie with Will Ferrell and what's her fucking... Maggie Gyllenhaal? I can't remember the name. I can't remember the name.
Speaker: driving nuts where Emma Thompson narrates his life and he's the only one that can hear it and it turns out he's a character in her book it's called fuck I'm gonna look it up okay stranger than fiction yep that's it good fucking movie
Speaker: What's funny about it is Will Ferrell, he's a IRS agent, and Maggie Gyllenhaal sends in only 40 % of her taxes with a note that says, I'm only sending 40%, but it's the 40 % that goes to fixing roads, building parks, I'm not supporting any wars or all this stuff, and of course she gets honest.
Speaker: and he falls in love with it. It's a really good movie. It's literally, it's Will Ferrell not being funny being funny. Like he doesn't try to be funny. Like it's not your typical Will Ferrell movie, but he's, he sings a song called The Whole Wild World on guitar and it's literally the best rendition of the song. I think the song is by Johnny Rotten.
Speaker: whole wide world that that that church though he's got the whole no no no no no no no it's called damn it stupid ass I'm gonna look it up
Speaker: I would that that that new gambling group that I just joined today with a couple with a few of my buddies I had to I had to send a message in there and be like who is who we did the hot we did hockey tonight and it's like who did who is butthole brigade because that's who I'm going against apparently
Speaker: Yeah. My buddy, buddy, Alex was like, yeah, that's me. I got smokes. I'm, I'm beating him by damn near 30 points. That is the first time I've ever done hockey on draft Kings. So just like, okay. Burn up. Uh,
Speaker: Sorry, I'm literally trying to type at the same time. Jesus. It's so hard to type with a stranger than fiction. But what are you? I'm trying to find the song. It's called The Whole Wide World. And I'm going to play a little clip of it.
Speaker: as soon as this stupid ad goes away. Although the new Call of Duty fan. You're killing me. You're pulling the e -brake on the show. Okay, here we go. Will Ferrell's actually grabbing the guitar off the couch while Mikey Gyllenhaal's doing dishes in the other room. Here he goes. I don't know if you can hear it. Here he goes.
Speaker: I can hear the dishes. Yeah. She's, she's about to turn off the water. Young boy, mama said to me, there's only one girl in the world for you. And she probably lives in Tahiti. Oh, what will I go? Oh, what will just to find the anyways,
Speaker: That's the song he plays in that song. And I literally, after seeing the song, after seeing the movie, I literally downloaded the song. Cause I was like, that's a fucking good song. And, uh, but yeah, good movie. Shouldn't have access to the controller. Yeah. What's up? Let me, uh, shit, where's the top 10? Let me roll into this. Let me roll into this top 10 right quick.
Speaker: Who sings that old white world song shout it out cuz I don't know I can't remember who sings it. I don't think I don't think anybody's watching anything like that It's kind of a little a little a little excited. I don't know Tony said he was going through tonight, but Well, Tony said he was gonna come through tonight, but I you know, he he he's too busy being Yeah
Speaker: I love the dude, but man, he's the biggest hapsore. He's on everybody's live. He's on some skank's page right now. Probably. I'll get a notification in about five minutes. Tony D is going live with... He's on that woman's page that I got into it with a couple of times. Uno chick? No, not the Uno chick. I didn't get into it with her. We had fun. I was just really drunk.
Speaker: The other woman I got into with who they still just kiss her ass and she still does the same bullshit that she always does. I understand why they kiss her ass that much. She's not that fucking important. But anyways, that's neither here nor there now. But I do have a top 10 for you, Jeffrey. OK. I got to do. You want to turn us down? Yeah, that's what I was doing. I put it on mute. It bothers me when I put it on mute. Oh, that's weird.
Speaker: here's my
Speaker: It's not even my opinion, man. You didn't even have to add that on there. This is a legit top 10. I need something to fill the entire space. I didn't have something to fill the entire space. Jesus Christ. Anyways, I got you a top 10. I think you're right. I think you're right. Last week I did the top 10 dumbest criminals.
Speaker: Yeah, on Wednesday. This week, this week, oh yeah, Wednesday, not last week. Tonight, I have the top 10 weirdest laws in the United States. Oh, I love these. Yes, right? I've heard a couple of them. Maybe not that are on the list, but I've heard some dumb laws. I remember a story about a guy. He told the officer that was signing him out. He's like, where's my rifle and my donkey?
Speaker: And he's like, what? He's like, it says in the law that when you let somebody out of jail, they're supposed to get a rifle, 50 cents and a donkey. I want my shit. And he ended up suing the police department and won. Nice. Fair enough. Well, for this list, for this top 10 list, I feel like, uh, you should go ahead and grab Bob.
Speaker: and and and fuel up uh nonsensical nonsense number two number two fire up the short bus who does number two work for we're gonna we're gonna bounce around we're gonna go from state to state here excellent number ten takes us to the garbage state i mean the garden state new jersey new jersey it is illegal to wear a bulletproof vest while committing a murder
Speaker: That's also redundant. Just a little. Just a just a little New Jersey. New Jersey prohibits the use of bulletproof vest while engaged in the commission of or an attempt to commit or flight after committing or attempting to commit a crime from a specific specified list.
Speaker: These are murder, manslaughter, robbery, sexual assault, the fucking word that I cannot ever say, burgling, kidnapping, criminal escape, and assault. You cannot wear bulletproof vest because it is illegal. This is a third degree crime in New Jersey, but it will get bumped up to a second degree crime if you do it during a first degree crime.
Speaker: an example murder. So basically don't kill anybody in Atlantic City if you're wearing a bulletproof vest. You wouldn't want to break the law while breaking the law, would you? Well, here's my question. If you're assaulted by a police officer, is he technically breaking the law because he's wearing a bulletproof vest? Well, I mean, we're not going to go down that road. Yeah, let's play that game. Next. Yeah. Number nine.
Speaker: great state of Indiana who is dick's knocked in the dick or dick's knocked in the dirt by Michigan who's beating them 20 to seven. That's what I'm watching on my TV. Yeah. I got my, I got the Michigan, Indiana game on over here. They're playing under the lights in the big house. Michigan's putting it on them. So now, now you ain't getting that first down, you dirty whore. And in Indiana, it is illegal.
Speaker: to sniff glue. This one, this one relies on intent. This, this one relies on intent. If you're breaking, you're breaking the law. If you do it to get high, the substance in question includes what the law calls model glue or a substance that contains
Speaker: Tulum and paint thinners, acetone, nail polish remover, or freon and air conditioning units. And that's the word I was thinking of before. This is a class B misdemeanor. So that's a little slap on the wrist. Don't do it again. So if you're using this stuff for what it's meant to be used for, it's not illegal, but if you're using it to get high and I think that not really a weird law, I mean, it kind of should be illegal to use that stuff to get high. It's kind of a, uh,
Speaker: thing. I mean, if you see a stoner walking into a model store and buying 50 pounds of glue, you're like, yeah, you're not building a model, bitch. Exactly. Number eight. Wisconsin. Keep the bus warm, Bob, because we're traveling all over the place. Yeah. Wisconsin makes it hard for margarine.
Speaker: You might have gathered that Wisconsin is the dairy central in the United States, but maybe you didn't realize how sharp elbowed they are about their butter. Code 97 .18 -4 of the state code goes like this. The serving of colored olio margarine or margarine at a public eating place
Speaker: as a substitute for table butter is prohibited unless it is ordered by the customer. So then all the news is real butter. Not margin. That's fucked up. That's right. In Wisconsin, it is illegal to serve margin at restaurants unless the customer asks for it. We're not kidding. Neither is the law. Violators face up to a $500 fine and three months behind bars.
Speaker: you know, subsequent offenses can get you up to a thousand dollar fine and a year in jail. So, if you're a repeat offender, can you imagine? Imagine the England jail for a year. You're a martyr, bitch. I use a martyr. Number seven. While we're down, we're going to travel to Tennessee. So, I'm going to
Speaker: All right. Also on the bus, play video games. Yeah, you play video games. I'm going to go verify that the gluteurs is a real thing. Take your word for it. Yep, found it, Jeff. It's real. It's right there. It's Santa Claus over there. In Tennessee,
Speaker: You can't duel anyone if you want to run for public office. So it's OK if I'm not running for public office? Yes. You know a prohibition is serious when it is in the Constitution. Under Tennessee's governing charter, you cannot run for office if you engage in a duel. Here's how Article 963 puts it. Now, is it ever or during your run?
Speaker: this this this is this is this is the law article nine section three puts it this way any person who shall after the adoption of this constitution fight a duel or knowingly be the bearer of a challenge to a fight to fight a duel or send or accept a challenge for that purpose and or be an aider or in a better in a fighting duel shall be deprived of the right to hold any office
Speaker: of honor or profit in this state and shall be punished otherwise in such manner as a legislator, legislature, oof, oof, words are hard, may prescribe. So you cannot be a government official or a state official in any way, shape, and or form if you have taken part in a duel or
Speaker: or participate, which means they're like being the mad guy second. Yeah. Yes. In any way, sheep and dwarf form. That is a law in Tennessee. Let's go run for governor in Tennessee and we'll have a duel with Nerf guns. See if they uphold the law. Well, I don't think you're one of the women from governor anywhere at this point. No, but it'd be hilarious.
Speaker: We'll do it on stage, on social media, the whole nine yards and be like, do it. We're the only two fuckers running. So like, like at a debate, where we're at a debate, we just walk over deep with a little glove. I challenge you to a door. Then we meet in the center of the stage, put our backs to each other, take 20 pieces and turn around and shoot our Nerf guns.
Speaker: Yeah, or do we do it while or do we do it while west style where we stand away from each other and we push our curves back Yeah, and we show our holstered guns and Then one of us say go and we quick draw it out What time is it
Speaker: that shoots you with my nerve. I've told you about this several times Jeffrey. I'm sorry, but if I was ever in a gunfight like Wild West out, I would pull a full on Liam Neeson and a million ways to die in the West. I'd shoot on two. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, even better, you could do like Michael J. Foxton in Back to the Future 3. Wasn't the only person they shoot you in the chest. Yeah, I'm just saying. I aim for that. Either way. Yeah. Number eight. Let's go to the east west coast. Almost. All right. Yeah, let's go to the west coast. Quick drive. In Oregon. That's far west. Holy shit.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. That's almost basically Russia. Yeah. I can see Russia. Yeah. She lived in Alaska, which is true. You can't see Russia, but either way, it's not in Oregon. Yeah. In Oregon, it is illegal to go hunting in cemeteries. Oregon prohibits hunting in cemeteries.
Speaker: Well, listen, they prohibit hunting in cemeteries and treats it as a misdemeanor. So again, it's just a little slap on the wrist. Hunting under the state law is defined as taking or attempting to take any wildlife by means involving the use of a weapon or with the assistance of any mammal or bird. Moving on.
Speaker: So basically, if I go out there and I kill a bear with my bare hands, that's perfectly fine. You'd be okay. Well, I wonder about trapping. Unless my hands... What if I trap it in the cemetery, then take it home and kill it? That's trapping, not hunting. Yeah, exactly. That's not hunting. You're not killing it. But you didn't. You trapped it. Hunting and trapping are two different things. That is true. You trapped it. You were not hunting, you trapped it.
Speaker: Let's come on, bring it back to the East Coast. Oh my gosh. Just waste all the gas. Jesus. We're putting miles on the bus, man. We don't ever get to use the bus. There we are. We're putting miles on the bus. Don't worry. Number four, we're going back to the West Coast. Don't worry. Number four, we're going back to the West Coast. Number five, all the way to the East Coast, my favorite place, South Carolina. I thought you were going to say Boston.
Speaker: go to the southeast coast. South Carolina. You know what they do in South Carolina? Fuck their sister. Nope, that's Alabama or Mississippi.
Speaker: A little bit farther away than those two. In South Carolina, they prohibit miners from playing pinball. Are you under 18 in the Palmetto state? Sorry, but you can't practice to be a pinball fucking wizard here. You silly son of a bitch. You take that shit to North Carolina, where there are a bunch of heathens. Yeah, I play pinball. Number four, we're going out to Washington state.
Speaker: going back to the west coast. Let's go, Bob. We got some, putting some miles on her tonight. We're in fifth gear, bitch. Let's get this girl bitch rolling. And in Washington state, it is illegal to kill Bigfoot. Sorry.
Speaker: I could go days on the whole people hunting Bigfoot shit. You want to talk about something? I believe in, I believe in Bigfoot and I will find Bigfoot one day and him and I will share many, many. He's going to be a guest on the podcast because that's funny.
Speaker: One night we're gonna do the show and I'm gonna say Jeff I got a special guest for us tonight. We're gonna start the show and all of a sudden Let's go let's go there Let's go to Washington State dress you up like in a Wookiee costume and just walk you through the woods. I
Speaker: fucking alert watch the fucking freaks freak out but uh anyways uh it actually it's in scimania county uh declared its boundaries to be a refugee a refuge killing the beast is considered homicide if the local coroner
Speaker: declares this victim a hominid. So it's only a one. So it's just a really hairy guy. Like this guy killed Bigfoot. Yeah, exactly. Oh, you know, it's it's I don't know, man. I'm a Bigfoot believer. I got a fried chicken and I'm you know, and I need more beer. So give me one second. Talk about Jeffrey.
Speaker: No, the whole thing with Bigfoot is, I'm not saying I don't believe, but it's, it's, it's one of those things. It had to be, you know, just like I said, two assholes, like, dude, put this wookie outfit on and walk through the woods. And some other assholes like, the fuck is that? Because it's been how many years since the first sighting of a Bigfoot to today and nobody's ever proven
Speaker: That Bigfoot is real. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but you know, it's, it's, it's kind of a weird concept to me. I mean, I would totally go hunting for Bigfoot if I could, but I don't know. Excuse to drink beer and sit out in the woods, but I don't, I don't know. I, I'm not sure how I feel about the whole Bigfoot issue. I want to believe I truly do, but I don't know if I do.
Speaker: I just think if there's all these fucking morons out there searching for it, you'd think they'd find it. It's like that guy that lives on, he lives on Loch Ness trying to find the Loch dismonster. Yeah, the guy who quit his job and everything. He quit his job, left his wife. I mean, my problem is this. Now, Sue Loch Blake is small by any means.
Speaker: But my problem is how many people have gone and hunted Bigfoot or looked for signs of Bigfoot? And how many have actually had 100 % undeniable factly truth that they saw one? I have never gone hunting for Bigfoot. I do believe. That's like snipe hunting. Maybe possibly.
Speaker: Well, I think there's something out there, but I mean, it all started as a joke, like snipe hunting. If Bigfoot is real, they've been around for probably hundreds of thousands of years. And they, they, they, they know, and, and, and they are a form of.
Speaker: humans slash eight, whatever the case may be. So, you know, they, they sound like they're, they sound like they're dumb creatures. So, and there's probably not a lot of them, but they probably gotten pretty good at hiding for people. And they know when the idiots come out in the woods and they're like, well, let's be as loud as we fucking can and have all these lights and equipment. And Bigfoot's like, yeah, I'm just going to hang out in my fucking cave and
Speaker: drunk and watch nonsensical nonsense right now right now he's like oh shit he said I can come on the show come to my house I truly believe it started as a joke like let's go snipe hunting yeah and and the asshole next to him was like oh yeah I've done that before cuz he doesn't know what the fuck it is like if I I literally told my kids I'm gonna take you guys out snipe hunting
Speaker: And I told them what they need to do, and they literally started grabbing bags. Let's go. And I was like, oh, this is going to be good. And unfortunately, there's no place where I could take him to go fuck with him. But I think it all started as a snipe hunting thing. And some asshole came back. He's like, I saw one because he had his buddy dress up in a Wookie outfit and he took up that weird fucking picture. And now everybody believes that
Speaker: Bigfoot's real because some asshole could be the butt end of a joke. Yeah. Well, join me all that made for my Wookiee comments. She said Wookiee is from Star Wars. I said Wookiee from Lord of the Rings.
Speaker: Don't you? Get the nerds all riled up. Sorry, Joe. I called you a nerd. But you get the nerds all riled up. I'm going to come for you. Get your ass kicked. Thank you. Move on. This isn't a conspiracy podcast. This isn't the podcast. The Bigfoot Bobcats. Bobcats. Bigfoot podcast. Bobcat. Oh, speaking of other animals that I think I can fight, I feel like I can add a bobcat to that list. Just so you know. I don't know, dude. I don't know, dude. Them paws are fucking stupid sharp.
Speaker: Yeah, but did you see the video of the guy whose wife was attacked by a bobcat and he was like, there's a bobcat and he threw it across the yard. I was like, I can totally kick that stupid animals. That's what he sounded like. There's a bobcat. Oh my God. You gotta find that video and send it to me. I gotta see that. I did watch the new blue lagoon and holy shit. It was really bad.
Speaker: There's a, on Netflix, there's a, there's a new, there's a, a third Blue Lagoon movie. You know, the first one was with, uh, what's her name. And then the second one's at Man out of Jovanovitch. And then the third one is, happens in like 2010 or something like that. And the 2010 version is really bad. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Back to, back to, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker: No, no, no, no. A side note from the top 10 list. This is fucking hilarious. I love this. All right. Summer just sent me a Snapchat.
Speaker: Okay. It's Parker's new t -shirt and it's a taco nacho chip on it. It says you want a taco about it. This is no, it's not your problem. Nice. That is fucking awesome. Oh, that is awesome. I love that shit. Well, anyways.
Speaker: Back to the list from Washington to Louisiana. We go while we're in Louisiana, we're going to stop off in New Orleans and go on a ghost tour. Yeah. Touchdown. Let's go. We're going to, we're going to go, we're going to go down to New Orleans and we're going to get a ghost tour. We're going to go see a voodoo practitioner and we're going to see some movies.
Speaker: I'm gonna, I'm gonna get me a voodoo doll, Jeffrey. Zip tie his mouth shut. We're gonna be doing this show and I'm just gonna flip it in the nuts. I'm just gonna flip it in the nuts every time you say something stupid.
Speaker: Have you seen those videos? There's a video out there where guys are giving their girlfriends...
Speaker: remote controlled vibrating panties. I want to get a pair for summer because there's one that you can buy and it's an app that you can use so you don't even have to be in the same you can be in different states and I want to buy them for summer. It's just like that.
Speaker: right in the mommy and daddy button. Anyways, in Louisiana, it is illegal to send a surprise to me. This is like if we stop 10 months, get longer and longer. Yeah. It doesn't help. They're funny. Yeah. Well, I, I,
Speaker: I'm good at what I do. I'm just saying, you know, in Louisiana, it is illegal to send a surprise pizza. Surprise pizza sounds fun, but not if you're stuck with the unsuspected bill. In the Bible, you can't call in a good or
Speaker: in the bayou state, you can't call in a good or service mate to another person. If that person slash victim did not authorize it, does not live with you or does not live with you. The item is not a gift. The victim is required to pay for it. And if you're trying to harass or annoy this individual, so you can't, you can't just for who is a very furry.
Speaker: Where is that? Mr. Louisiana. Somebody give me a number from Louisiana. I'd like to see them try to prosecute me. I'm in Mexico. Look, if somebody wants to send me a surprise bucket of a hundred wigs, as long as they're paid for, thank you very much. I will be your best friend. No, that's the thing. It'd be one thing if you paid for it. Yeah, they're not paid for it. No, that's why I was putting that out there. Because I guarantee it's like some asshole said something dumb.
Speaker: Yeah. No, no. That's what I said. If it's paid for. Yeah. That's why I put that in. What do you, what do you place in orders for baby? Summer said, sorry, I was placing orders. Um, but, uh, so yeah, pizza. She's like, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: Chokes on you. Chokes on you, sugar mama. Yeah. No, I don't do. I don't. Hit the limit. Well, not quite, but I should, I should, I should be, I should be good for it. Well, I went to the grocery store. I have it. I have not. Are we hungry? Is who hungry? I'm always hungry.
Speaker: Christmas orders, all Christmas orders. I said your credit card. I said, my sugar mama, I do have a credit card. It's yours. You put me on it. No, I went to the grocery store. I filled up my tank. I used my speedy points at Speedway and I got 50 cents off of a gallon. It was still $2 .84 for gas, but still.
Speaker: Like that. 50 more cents will get me a cup of coffee. Yeah. Well, most of it was gas. I got cigarettes and, um, I bought cash from Donuts for breakfast this morning. And, um, that was, and then I got, um, uh, two, two liters of Pepsi, uh, Pepsi Mountain Dew. Um, speaking of buying cigarettes, the cool thing about my new job, because I can't smoke on campus or anything like that. Two packs of cigarettes lasted me all week.
Speaker: So can you well it work? Technically, no. Do I? Yes. But I have small vapes. I have small vapes that I can literally put in my hand and nobody sees them. So right. It's not like I'm walking around the building in the wide open one.
Speaker: I bought beer at Kroger's and I bought Coors Light because it was like $5 cheaper, $6 cheaper and I got more than what I would have if I'd have bought Budweiser. But I had to go to Kroger's anyways. She's contemplating cutting you off. No, I'm gonna give her the money back. I just gotta get my first paycheck.
Speaker: I didn't realize it was gonna be a month before I got my first paycheck, but anyways Next next next one. Where are we going? We're not going too far from Louisiana. I guess kind of far. We're gonna go up to West Virginia. Okay lock up your sisters Well your sisters fine my sisters fun my broasters fine I
Speaker: It's their sisters and brosters. Yeah. Ours are fine. You don't have to lock them up. In West Virginia, it is, it, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. This is not an illegal activity. This is a legal activity. Okay. In West Virginia, it is legal to take roadkill home for dinner. Gross. Yep.
Speaker: However, the West Virginia, I will say only gross if it's like, wasn't hit by a truck. Because if I had a deer with my truck, I'm throwing that bitch in the bed. You know how many deers I picked up off the side of the road for buddies that have taken home and
Speaker: Because they you don't damage to me and the cops would call us I mean I had a buddy of mine his older brother was a sheriff's deputy and if there was a deer that got hit he would call and be like hey do you want this and then I would they would call me or whatever and and We would go out and pick it up and throw it throw it in the truck or you remember my my 87 Astro minivan the whole front end of that was replaced at one point because dad had a deer and We were
Speaker: Well stocked up with with meat afterwards. Yeah, I I. Where my whole family's from and everything like that. There was a deer that got got hit in town one one day, but that's not what I would call roadkill. You know what I mean? It got hit by a car. It got hit by a car. Yeah, and it just happened and Johnstown PD came out and they put it down and.
Speaker: My buddy, I knew all the cops there and whatnot. And actually the cop that went out there to do it, drag it off the road and put it down or whatever. When we had next LCC chirp me and he was like, hey, I got this deer. You know anybody who wants it? And I was like, where are you guys at?
Speaker: And it was, it was just, it was in town. So I drove over there in my truck and we threw it in the bed of the truck and I called up a buddy of mine and I was like, Hey, we've got this deer. You guys want to process it out and we can put it in the fridge at the shop or in the freezer at the shop. And he was like, yeah, bring it on out. So took it right on out there, man. We processed her out and, and did what we had to do for her and threw the meat in the, in the freezer. And we ate off that. We ate off that for a minute, man. Every time we had a party, we ate off of it. As long as it doesn't damage. What I'm, what I'm, what I'm saying is, is like when you say roadkill,
Speaker: I don't think deer. I think awesome. Yeah. And that's just nasty. Well, but it says, um, the West Virginia legislature doesn't believe in waste. Here's how section 20 dash two dash four phrases it.
Speaker: Wildlife, except for protected birds, elk, spotted fawn, and bear cubs killed or mortally wounded as a result of being accidentally or inadvertently struck by a motor vehicle may be lawfully possessed if the possessor of the wildlife provides notice of the claim within 12 hours to a relevant law enforcement agency and obtains non -hunting game tag within 24 hours of possession.
Speaker: Again, that sounds like because West Virginia has a lot, a lot of rural towns, rural villages, townships, most of West Virginia, even their big quote unquote cities like Charleston, West Virginia, or I can't think of any other big cities unless they're still in some parts of the country that's still considered a rural area. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's the other thing is like, um,
Speaker: one of the biggest problems I have with people saying, Oh, you shouldn't hunt and stuff like that. If you didn't hunt the deer alone would just be dangerous to drive. Yeah. Well, not only that, but they damage your crops and everything else like that. It's population control. Um,
Speaker: Anyways, this is the longest top 10 in history of top 10s. But again, I bring I bring really good top 10s to the table. You bring the good. Really good conversations. Pops, take notes. Yeah, I was gonna say. Stop getting up your dually and take notes. Number one. Let's go south to our favorite place.
Speaker: Florida. Yay. Number one, Florida. We can stop by pop. Yeah. We can stop by pop slot in the mouth. We're having terrible internet. Yeah. Giving you more work.
Speaker: Yeah, I have two people on this show and both of them are practically worthless at this point. Sometimes. I may be late. Sometimes number one in Florida pops just so you know, keep this in mind. It is illegal.
Speaker: It is illegal to have sex with a porcupine. It just booked us off in the chat. Is that really something that is a problem in Florida? As they put in bold letters, as they put underneath the headline, in bold, in capital letters. Out of all the animals in the world, the last one I would think to fuck would be a porcupine.
Speaker: You said, is this a real thing? And in this article, under the headline, under the title, capitalized bold, it says, uh -huh, dot, dot, dot. I mean, but seriously, out of all the animals, why would you fuck a porcupine? Because it's fucking Florida. I guess. Florida.
Speaker: Florida. Former US Senate candidate Bobby Bean actually wanted to take this off the books. Yeah, he's a horny fuck.
Speaker: So you said, is this a real thing? And there was a Senate candidate who wanted to take it off the books. We all know. Out of all the things to run on and I'm going to take porcupine fucking, I'm going to bring it back to the masses. I'm like, why? I think we're good without it. But it says with, with a ridiculous law like that, you'd have to think,
Speaker: of all the lobbyists and all the time it took in Tallahassee to put it on the books being told the Miami New Times in 20 in a 2010 interview. It's foolishness. Did we miss a weird law? Let us know in the comments. Anybody so anybody anybody if you if you guys Billy Thorpe, what about Billy Thorpe?
Speaker: If you guys can think of any other weird laws and this will be the first question that we ask when I post this on Spotify If you guys can think of any other weird laws in your state You can email us at the email account or I'm gonna put it on Spotify
Speaker: Uh, because it allows me to ask questions and, uh, do polls. So I'm going to put that on Spotify. So let us know. And, uh, and, and we'll, we'll, we'll touch back on this one. We'll, we'll, we'll circle the wagons and do a reach around them. I do know there's other laws like, um, I know I think it's gun and rifle thing. Yeah. I think it's here in Ohio that on Sundays, it is illegal to walk backwards on the sidewalk while you drink or why you eat a donut.
Speaker: Oh, I would totally do that. Well, there's a guy on YouTube a while back. He, he actually did a, his whole YouTube career was breaking stupid British laws. Yeah. And it was hilarious. So let us know. Like I said, the question will be there. Uh, when you listen to the podcast, how many times does something have to happen before they make a law against it?
Speaker: Well, obviously it happened more than once. And it's not like, that would be the easiest law to know that someone was guilty. The guy's got porcupine quills all over his dick. So what were you doing? Well, I was fucking the neighbor's cat and his porcupine came out of nowhere. Exactly. Well, like I said, you know,
Speaker: What does Billy Thorpe say when he agrees? I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know who Billy Thorpe is. I don't even know
Speaker: poorly done Billy Bob Horton renditions.
Speaker: That is that is what Joe's referencing so okay, we figured it out We're some pretty smart smellers like we used to make front of a buddy of mine He he had his his parents own a sheep farm and we used to call him sheep fucker Well, that was a real damn damn bill
Speaker: Well, yeah, well, yeah, we used to make fun of one of our class because he went down so we just call him sheep fucker. Yeah, but it's like, yeah, we did. We did. But I mean, once again, out of all the animals to fuck, not that I'm condoning fucking animals. Well, as my as my cousin used to say, sheep's vagina is like a real woman. And this is honest to goodness quote from my fucking cousin. And sheep's vagina is the most
Speaker: is the closest thing and most realistic thing to a woman's vagina. And you back them up to a stump and you put their hind legs into your rubber boots and they can't run from you. I should really have a conversation with my cousin. I mean, the fact that you acknowledge that they're still your cousin, you're like, damn, dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? That reminds me of a joke. It's more of a visual joke, but if you're standing next to a buddy,
Speaker: Let's say you, me, and somebody else. Let me pump your brakes. Let me pump the brakes on that real quick. Just so you know, Kevin Hawley popped into the chat, mainly because I attacked him. And I was like, if you want to hear what a real podcast sounds like. And he popped in and said, this was the gayest Pornhub Live I've ever seen.
Speaker: Oh, watch you feel better. Would you feel better if we did, if, if every episode was conspiracy theories about COVID and Biden and all that jazz, would that make you feel more at home? Could we cater to your four listeners who, who jerk you off? Perfect example for the joke. So you, me and Kevin Holly are walking down the street.
Speaker: and we see a sheep stuck in. You and Kevin Holly are walking down the street and you see a sheep stuck in the fence. Chris is not our side pops.
Speaker: I'm gonna report his ass. Well, it wasn't on our side. So, I think it's not that hard to figure out. But the fact that he the fact that he gave me the details about backing it up to a stump and putting its back legs in the **** boots. Says he's done some research on the subject. Oh, my cousin is a strange fella. I love him to death. He's family but he's a strange
Speaker: I have those kind of family members. Anyways, with that being said, Kevin, don't fuck porcupines down there. It's illegal. My other question is, is your cousin, about your cousin, has he tested others?
Speaker: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know because this is the guy we need to have on the podcast because I got a million questions for him. I don't know. I don't know because when he said that we were on a job site and he said that, I was just like, yeah, I got to go over there. That would be something I'd take to the grave. There's stuff over there that I have to do. So I'm going to go over there and you stay here.
Speaker: I don't know if that was like a farmer's joke because they were farmers.
Speaker: I don't know if that was like a farmer joke. Possibly he was being sarcastic, but like that serious sarcastic where you're not know if it's a joke or not. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. So like, I don't know if it was just like one of those old farmer jokes because I mean, even to this day, even to this day, they still do 4 -H and stuff with the hogs and cows and everything else and everything like that. So, you know, it could have been just a joke or he could have
Speaker: Oh, does she? Hey, cuz. Can you imagine the trial and error? I'm trying to fuck a sheep. Yeah, I just don't know. Put his feet in your boots. Wait, what? Oh, hey, this works. Back up to a stump. Back up to a stump. We can't run away. How dumb are sheep? Back up to a stump. Put his feet in your boots. What the hell's wrong with you? Is this your first time?
Speaker: Get out of the way, let me show you how it's done. You're gonna have a slung few seconds.
Speaker: I'm out. Deuces. I'm late for anything and everything. I know. But let's let's let's take a wheel, a wheel, a real quick break. Yeah. Let's get to get our guys a little black top mojo for you guys. Damn, I'm fucking breaking everything over here. Excuse me. Well, I just destroyed everything.
Speaker: I got a what's a sheep?
Speaker: You got to hold that sheep tight. It's going to break. Get over here. This is your first time like having a jolly show how it's done. If I can fuck a porcupine, I can fuck a sheep gun. I ain't never been caught fucking porcupines. He's illegal down here. He's probably the reason that the law's in that. Exactly. It cites all the offenders.
Speaker: What are you in for, Kevin? Yeah. Let's take a, uh, a real quick break here. Uh, little blacktop motion for you guys. Uh, I'm going to go take a, take a piss. I'm going to go fry some chicken. I'm just gonna sit there and rub his nipples and look at sheep porn and, uh,
Speaker: We'll be right back. And uh, when we come back from break, we got, uh, what, what, words are. That's our, that's our catchphrase, man. It's our hashtag.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: That's our hashtag. That's our hashtag. Even though I'm the only one that uses it. But anyways, I'm going to go fry some chicken. I'm going to go grab some beers, enjoy a little blacktop mojo for you, for your ears. Let them, if he's fucking a porcupine. Oh yeah. Kevin has a small dick. There's no doubt about it. It's also got a chip on it. That was my other things. Like how big is a fucking porcupine really? They're not very big.
Speaker: Anyways, we're going to break. This animal fucking discussion is over. Blacktop Mojo, please interrupt us and just...
Speaker: Even when I'm staring at the map I only wish now so I could take it all back And I've robbed every bank from hill to Houston Only thing on my mind now is keep on shooting Yeah, I just keep on shooting
Speaker: Into the sky I'm immortal now, baby, legends never die You got me crying now, yeah, you think you are But finally, you're just an exfoliating my gun Wow, finally, you're just an exfoliating my gun
Speaker: Even the burn of whiskey won't kill my pain. When the moon gets full and the coyote cries, these men are all driven by greed and lies. You see that smoking gun in my eye on everybody's mind.
Speaker: But the gun shots in the distance will keep on running Yeah, just keep on running And shotgun blasts raining out through the air Anything in front of my guns, I'll have a prayer And bullets spread out into the sky
Speaker: But I'm the one and now, baby, legends never die You got me caught in the eye, yeah, you think you won Well, probably you're just an exfoliating man Well, probably you're just an exfoliating man
Speaker: There it is they got me that last time they went I was like observer and then I brought our cameras up and I was like
Speaker: That's why Kevin loves the show. He's like, oh man, I'm gonna go **** that's why Kevin has so many breaks. That's why they go on for so long.
Speaker: Hopefully you enjoyed that little Blacktop Mojo for you. Yeah. If you're not already, go check out Blacktop Mojo. Go stream the shit out of their music. Go follow them on social media at BlacktopMojo, literally everywhere. And while you're doing that, tell them that we sent you. Just say comment, tag us, comment on their videos. You know, whatever you got to do, just say nonsense when nonsense sent me. Maybe they'll be like, oh yeah, we love those guys. Or they'll be like, who?
Speaker: Yeah, they'll definitely be who That guy we we gave him a babbie birthday wish to that only Matt did Isn't it that those two assholes who think they have a good podcast? Definitely go check them out stream the shit out of their music fucking especially the new album fucking Yes
Speaker: Absolutely. Make that shit number one on Spotify, Apple. I don't know what, what you Apple users listening to iTunes, make it number one, that the black top Mojo is brand new album. Make a wicked woman make tail lights. Oh yeah. Make, make, make just fucking blow it up. I want to see wicked woman get a million views on, on YouTube.
Speaker: Have not does not have a million views the video is fantastic a million extra views a Million comments that say nonsensical nonsense even better. Yes. Yes. Just comment. Just comment nonsensical nonsense when you watch the videos non statistical nonsense podcast
Speaker: But speaking of following people, speaking of following people and checking them out on social media, Jeffrey, shut the fuck up and let me get to your part before you prematurely just bleh. All right. I don't know what that was. I will be jacking off from my mouth. I don't know why. Are you OD'd? Did you just shoot yourself up with adrenaline? Is there like a pulp fiction?
Speaker: I don't know what's going on here. Anyways, speaking of social media, if you're not already, if you be so kind, give us a follow, give us a like, give us a pounding, give us a thumbing. We are on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Also, if you'd like to join us live for one of these live recordings, we do go live every Wednesday and Saturday night. You can find our live broadcast on YouTube,
Speaker: Twitch, HapsTV, and Facebook. Also Twitter, because we are live on Twitter at the same time. Now that Twitter added that feature. So again, all at nonsensical nonsense. And if you want to listen to every episode of the podcast, all you have to do is search yourself on, uh, anchor Spotify, Google, Apple podcasts, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your, your podcast jollies from where they're
Speaker: You can go to your Siri, you can go to your Alexa, you can go to your Google Assistant, you can go basically anywhere and just say, hey, give me nonsensical nonsense and we're gonna be there, believe it or not. Or you can just Google this, go to your old Google box and type in nonsensical nonsense and poof, here we are. And then if you'd like to send us an email, if you wanna come on the show, we are looking to do some interviews, do some guests. I've reached out to a couple people. I'm really hoping to hear back from one guy
Speaker: For two reasons one I want to play his music and two I want to get him on the show because he's blowing up
Speaker: Uh, you can always email us at the email located at the Gmail account where you send emails to. Um, if you want to send emails, make sure you don't do the reply. Oh, don't, don't send it to everybody on your friends list or your contact list. Just send us a nonsensical nonsense. And that email is not ever really used. It's mainly a spam account, but you can send that. If you type into your email, uh, you're where you want to send it to you. You put in, uh, what is the email?
Speaker: I was sitting there just waiting, fighting my time, watching you ramble. It's hilarious. Your faces were killing me, and I was trying to keep bullying as long as I could, but your fucking faces were killing me. I watch this all night.
Speaker: Your face is 100 % guilty. I just want to say. Wait for you to give a pause. Nice. I don't know about you, but Wednesday, when we got done Wednesday, my sides, my abs, and my jaw.
Speaker: hurt like a motherfucker. I was laughing so hard. And I really tried to explain it to my wife why I was laughing so hard because she refuses to watch the podcast because she thinks we're dumb, which is accurate. But I was laughing so hard. She's like, what the hell is so funny? And when you tell someone something
Speaker: where it's like you had to be there. I was explaining the dick mark on someone's face. She's like, you guys are idiots. I'm like, I know, but if you were there, you'd have been laughing. The last, the last segment of Wednesday night show, I is joining just now subscribing to us.
Speaker: Yes, we are drinking as always. I figured as much. Joe, you know, it's legal to smoke down there. Just hint hint. I can't believe Joe just followed us. I thought she was a fan. I thought she liked us. I thought she supported us. She likes to take the time to search for the email, for the video.
Speaker: who is like, she does her research. She's like, I don't know if I should follow these guys or not. I mean, she's been on the show more times than I can count at this point. She's like, I've watched 52 episodes. Maybe I'll fall. This is episode 55. And she's been on the show. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so I mean, it's not like. It's not like it's new to her.
Speaker: Yeah, she's literally been in my house. Yeah, she's been in my house or my apartment on the show multiple times. She's talking about your thing. Look at Christopher's thing. Come on, guys. Show me your thing, Christopher.
Speaker: Look, it's like, it's like six inches long, four inches in diameter. All our female viewers are like, what? It's great. Some of our male viewers are like, what? Six inches, four inches in diameter? And it's great. Yes, because we have so many gay fans.
Speaker: You might, I don't know. We'll see how your dick pics go. Okay. Well, I've already gotten a friend request. Oh, I got, um, I got another person who wants to send me $7 ,000 on my cash app. Well, there you go. I just want to play this real quick. Go ahead.
Speaker: uh by advertising on youtube oh wait there's a man oh she was following but she decided to subscribe
Speaker: i don't know why all that shit is i'll just get to it god damn it yeah shut up jackass out of all the things we've done on the podcast this is the weirdest this is the weirdest
Speaker: I am. Here we go. God kill me. Yeah. There we go.
Speaker: Anyways, that's the Michigan fight song. They slapped the shit out of Indiana tonight. Let's go, Wolverines! Indiana sucks, but still. Michigan wins. And the Blue Jackets won. Last weekend was terrible for me. Browns lost. Michigan lost. My fantasy football team looked like dog shit. And I didn't win any money on Draft Kings last week.
Speaker: I started this week off Thursday. I won money on DraftKings. I'll be kicking ass on DraftKings again in the hockey thing that I just started tonight. My Wolverines won. Hopefully my Browns win tomorrow. And hopefully I smack the dick taste out of Matt's mouth tomorrow in fantasy football. Anywho, that's my sports stuff. Hey. Sounds like you were speaking Mandarin. Okay. I was speaking Mandarin. Jeff. Jeff, there's really not an
Speaker: Good news, man. That's okay. There's nothing, there's nothing going on. There's a tiny house in Boston. That's in the suburbs. It sells for 315 ,000. Some guy with COVID decided to finally marry his long -time girlfriend in the hospital. Some dude in New Zealand has an ugly potato.
Speaker: A rare leopard cub makes a debut at the Santa Barbara Zoo. Florida considers ousting the mockingbird from the honorary perch. I don't know what that's all about. No toilet for returning SpaceX crew. I don't know. They have to use diapers. There's a giant nine foot joystick. It's the world's largest joystick. Let's see what's going on over here. Not that one.
Speaker: There's just no good news, man. Let's see what's going on over here. Let's see if something strikes my fancy here. Oh, whoa, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. We might've found something, Jeffrey. Okay. We love our penis stories. Oh, I love a good penis story. A man's penis rots. Hold on a second. Let's do this, because we are kind of looking for news.
Speaker: Where is it at? Where is it at, Jeffrey? Wait a second, Jeffrey. We're not doing this right.
Speaker: I'm over here playing Mortal Kombat like we used to do back in the day and I'm just mashing buttons Man's penis
Speaker: rots after a venomous uh cobra bite jesus was he trying to fuck it i don't know a man was left with a rotting penis after venomous cobra bit him in the sensitive area oh uh he was bitten by a venomous cobra while using the toilet at a safari party
Speaker: 47 year old man from the Netherlands was relieving himself he was frying some chicken during a trip to a nature reserve in South Africa when he felt a burning sensation in his private parts. Well talk about a burning sensation when you piss Jeff knows all about that. Actually I've never had the clap so I'm okay with that. The man only realized he had been bitten by the cobra when he looked down and found that he had been
Speaker: hiding inside the bowl. The unfortunate man was left waiting for nearly three hours before an emergency helicopter took him to the nearest hospital 220 miles away. How did he not die? That is my question. And you know those docs were sitting just outside the operating room playing Rochambeau on who has to fucking touch this dude's dick.
Speaker: Yeah, because we all know that we all know that the cobra is one of the most venomous snakes in the world. How did it not kill him is what I'm what what I'm baffled by. He was diagnosed with necrosis. He was diagnosed with necrosis, better known as flesh eating disease and a serious amount of tissue in his penis had to be cut away.
Speaker: The man returned to his native Holland where even more dead penis tissue had to be removed and surgeons were required to reconstruct his genitalia. Fortunately, the man said he, the man is said to recover both the full function and sensitivity to his pecker. Hopefully he had an addicting surgery to make it bigger. Can you make it bigger while you're there, doc? I mean, shit. Yeah, right. I want to make John Holmes cry.
Speaker: Yeah, right. So I just want to know how he didn't die. Well, my only guess is like you're supposed to stop circulation. My only guess is that you were there and you sucked a venom from his penis. No, no, no, no, no. No, in all seriousness, like if you get bit in your calf, you're supposed to tie something around your above your knee so the so the venom can't work its way to your heart. So I'm sure he was like somebody give me a zip tie.
Speaker: You know, I just, um, yeah, I don't know, man. I don't, I don't know.
Speaker: onto. Jesus Christ. Like it hurts if you get in a zipper. Can you imagine on your dick with a that penetrates and punctures? Jesus Christ. Yeah. So when when you go and take a piss. Mm hmm. You're standing up, right? That would be my assumption. But it sounded like this could dude maybe had to shit. I
Speaker: I stand up when I piss. Most men stand up when they have to piss. So you're standing there at the toilet and you're taking a piss. How do you not? Who doesn't look down? Yeah, exactly. I always look down. Make sure I'm aiming correctly. Yeah, in my own house, I looked down every time. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know,
Speaker: I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Joe said, Joe said zip tie. That's small. Yeah, you can get some big zip ties. Yeah, well, but so, yeah, so, you know, that's my guess. A, how do you not realize there's a snake in the toilet? B, how do you not realize the snake jumped out of the toilet? I'm bitch. Fucking pecker. Yeah.
Speaker: and he's just like, don't tell me it was **** me. Maybe he is, maybe he's in the process of transitioning and because he's a woman trapped in a man's body, he is. No, you're wrong. If, if, if I want to get away from the kids for a little bit, I'll go into piss but I'll sit down for like three hours. Oh, yeah. No, I don't. If I got a piss, I'm just pissing. I, I'm not going in there to sit down. No, I'm not saying sit down. I got a ****.
Speaker: But yeah, now if I got a shit, I'm going to go in there and I'm going to take a shit for an hour and a half. Summer will attest. Trust me, Summer will attest to that. She's like, you take the longest shit. So I'm like, yeah, no, trust me. Well, it doesn't help that you're on your phone. No, it doesn't. Well, here you go, Jeff. I got I got another one for you, buddy. OK. This is right up your alley. This is this is right up your alley, man. This is this is stuff that you love to talk about. We're not going to talk about it. We're just going to talk about the store. All right. A
Speaker: Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, get your ass plugged in there. COVID side effects causes a woman to strip naked. Nice. A woman stripped naked as a result of a brazier. A bizarre coronavirus side effect. The unnamed female who is in her 30s spent several days acting in a strange manner due to a rare complication of COVID -19.
Speaker: as she also drank shower gel and washed her clothes in the toilet. Yeah, I think somebody's just trying to cover up for the fact that they're fucking crazy. A relative. Yes. The relative had brought her into the hospital in Qatar. Okay. Qatar. Nothing like getting there. That's in the Middle East. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, she's sexually frustrated. That's all. There we go. Nothing like you think I'm starting the middle of a podcast. Oh, and not the best. Yeah. I think I got rid of them. A relative brought her into a hospital and a guitar for her erratic behavior. Doctors wrote in the British Medical General case report she had been agitated
Speaker: required less sleep and had been talking excessively. Hmm. Sounds like Jeff. That's my problem. I have code. Yeah. In addition, she appeared confused talking to people who weren't, were not there suggesting she was responding to hallucinations, calling family members by the wrong name.
Speaker: And on one occasion taking her clothes off for no reason on the day of admission, she impulsively drank a hundred milliliters of body wash, which was the final factor leading her relative to bring her to the hospital. That's the line. Yeah. That was, that was, that was the line. No big deal. Wait, she drank body wash. So maybe we should go to the hospital. I mean, yeah.
Speaker: Jesus. Everything else has been going on. You're perfectly fine. It's perfectly normal, but now you're drinking body wash. Apparently Pops and Joe are drinking redemption bourbon. Joe sent me a picture of it. And what did Pops send me? Yeah. I'd be going to Florida and kicking his ass if he, if he did that. Oh, here we go. Pops is Pops has sent me a couple of stories.
Speaker: Okay. Uh, first one here, first one here is, um, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Look at him. He's still working harder than he was. No, he sent me the actual article. He's working harder than you do. And he's not even on the show currently. Woman faces felony charges. We're going to Texas for this one, but.
Speaker: Everything's bigger in Texas, especially my homosexual cravings. As a man, I drive a big truck and carry a shotgun to make up for my small penis and the fact that I like to fuck my friend, Jim Bob, fucking Texas. Eat my ass. I'll suck shit out of the entire goddamn state. Just so you know.
Speaker: They're creeping up there as well, you know, it's not even like I like Massachusetts. I just don't like Boston. That's the city. I don't like Texas. I'm really beginning to have a rational hatred for the entire state of Texas just based on the thing ever if one day's
Speaker: statement you've made to eat my ass. I'm not a big fan of Texas.
Speaker: Heather does it, like, she finds out that half her family's from Boston, the other half is from Texas. Who the hell is Heather? Not Heather, sorry. Heather. I meant Summer. I don't know why I said Heather. Fuck, you didn't get me in trouble. I didn't even do anything. Yeah, shit. I don't know why I said Heather. No. That's weird. No, trust me. Summer's family is all Southern.
Speaker: I'm the one over here hating on Texas and Joe's like, kiss my ass, Jeffrey. Joe is from two shitty states, New Jersey and Texas. Ouch. There's no state that I'm like, fuck them.
Speaker: I just I just think it's just the people who get on tiktok from Texas they are on this on this fucking pedestal and on this high horse and it's like from Texas that has any yeah any that the whole Texas pride thing it's like alright calm down it's
Speaker: Yeah, it's like motherfucker. Calm down. You guys got a couple inches of snow and almost died. It almost eradicated your entire fucking state.
Speaker: call the **** down. Oh, we're from people that have weird pride for **** like that. It's just, yeah, we're we're from Texas. We're country boys and we hunt. That means we can take out everybody. Well, I hate to break it to you but I'm in Ohio and in the Midwest, we hunt too and we're country boys in the Midwest as well and we will slap the absolute taste out of your stupid **** mouth, Texas. Stop playing. You
Speaker: you lost you lost your civil war you lost your civil war you lost your civil war you lost your civil war you lost your civil war you lost your civil war you lost your civil war you lost your civil war you lost your civil war you lost your civil war you lost your civil war
Speaker: So Jeffrey, join with me and tell Texas to eat your asshole. I just told them to fuck my dick instead. I mean, Jesus. No, tell them to eat your asshole and shit in their mouth. Okay. Make sure you eat corn. Eat some corn. Eat corn? I don't remember eating corn.
Speaker: hey nonsensical nonsense we stand against you texas yeah the only thing that comes from texas our fans are from texas just kidding texas we love you obviously the only thing that comes from texas is steers and choirs all right calm down lukas a junior i think we just declared war on texas apparently so
Speaker: Hey, you get your Mexican allies, Mexicans already beat them once and I'll get the Midwest and we'll march on Texas. Paul Revere, Texas is going to say nonsensical nonsense is coming.
Speaker: Go ahead and shoot the news in the face because we'll put that bitch down because it's dead. I'm saving your stories from Wednesday. I've already declared war on Canada, single -handedly. Now we've declared war on Texas. Texas, we're the only kid. We know you're the retarded step -brother and nobody wanted and you're just here and we have to accept you. Your football teams are trash and
Speaker: pretty much all your teams are trash, but, you know, I'm trying to, I'm trying to find a redeeming quality for Texas. Oh, I got one. I got one. Yeah. I got a redeeming quality for Texas. Austin, Texas has a really cool music scene that would rival Nashville. So there you go, Texas. Don't they have that Lone Star restaurant too? Probably.
Speaker: They probably have about 900 Lone Star restaurants. No, Lone Star is a chain. Lone Star is a chain where literally, it's actually really good food. Oh, you mean Texas Roadhouse? Maybe. I don't know. No. I will give Texas that.
Speaker: Austin has an amazing music scene and it's not just country music. It's just it's music in general. It's it's in general and they are starting to. Hey, go shut up, Joanne. Don't. She said, hey, go go Dallas Cowboys. You don't even watch football. You want you understand less about football than Jeff does. And that's that's set the bar low.
Speaker: Cause all I know from football is what I learned on Madden. Texas is a whole lot better than California. This is true pops. Well, there's another, there's another problem is, is Texas is going to become the new California because of the fact all the weirdos are moving from there to there. No, Jeff, we should on California or we should on Texas enough. Now we're trying to find good things about Texas.
Speaker: I will shit on California all day long. We can shit on California. We're looking for good things about Texas because we've already hurt their feelings and it's winter time up here. So, you know, they can't come up here because we're gonna survive. So, we got them. We got them. Now, we tore them down. We beat them down. We made them feel stupid and now we're gonna elevate them. This is an abusive relationship between nonsensical nonsense in Texas. And fuck you too, Boston. Don't think we forgot about your stupid asses.
Speaker: either. And I'm pretty sure Texas would agree. I'm pretty sure Texas would agree with me on the whole Boston bullshit. And yes, I like you. Yes, I like you, Matt Damon. But fuck you and your mother and fuck you to Mark and Donnie Wahlberg. I love Mark Wahlberg. I didn't mean that. I was going to say Mark Wahlberg probably give you a run for your money there, sir. Dude is four foot three and a half inches tall.
Speaker: Muscles I Will chloroform him and chain him in my basement Little sex slave. How do you like these good vibrations marquee mark? Where's your thunder buddy now, I got your thunder Those two movies holy shit
Speaker: So fucking funny. When my brother -in -law was here, when my brother -in -law was here, he asked me, he says, he says, hey, Jeff. Isaiah, what's up? He's like, can we watch it, Ted? I was like, you've never seen it? He's like, no, my mom won't let me watch it. I said, well, let me show you something, son. I said, we're going to watch both of them back to back. And then I showed him a million ways to die in the West. His mom, his mom, my mother -in -law,
Speaker: if there is a single curse word in a movie. She's like, nope, and we're done. And I'm like, what are you fucking crazy? Which is why I know they don't watch this. That's a fucking movie. No, but the whole Ted Ted to the line about what's that chick's name? Uh,
Speaker: Oh my god, Mark Whalport dates are at the end of the movie. Oh, Mila Kunis? No, no, no, Mila Kunis is the first one. And the second one, it's, she was in Mean Girls, The Blonde. I can't remember her name.
Speaker: I'm on it, buddy. I'm on it, buddy. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it.
Speaker: the the
Speaker: Wahlberg Chevrolet go and said she's five three and five three and dynamite comes in small packages Oh, he's only five eight. He is a little bastard. I'll slap the shit out of Mark Wahlberg. How big is Donnie? Donnie's better than Mark anyways Blasphemy Yeah
Speaker: That's that's like isn't Donnie Donnie's in that show blue bloods and he's married Jenny McCarthy Yeah, he's they've been together forever Actually, that's another that's another video. I'm gonna I want to do it on tiktok. There's a video that she did Jenny was a Jenny Jenny McCarthy was like disgusting
Speaker: Um, Allie whore back in the day. Yeah. She's gotten older and matured and everything like that. She, um, I love her. I don't, I don't think I don't find her super attractive, but I, she, she has, I don't know. She's, she's kind of growing on me. I really like her. She's, she's really cool. I'm trying to think, I'm trying to think what she looks like.
Speaker: She's the one she's got her own like talk show or kind of thing or that's somebody else. She was she was on that show back in the day. Remember that remote control on MTV? Vaguely. She was she was in. She was in two and a half minutes. She was in screen three. She was in a scary movie.
Speaker: Okay. John Tucker must die with list protection because I know that movie back and front. She was. Oh, she played the mom of Snow. The what's her name? I can't remember the girl's name. Snow. I know. Okay. Brittany Snow, who is sexy as fuck. Yeah, she was Lord. Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, she was in Pitch Perfect. That's where I know her from. I've never seen those movies. Really?
Speaker: The music video you only need to see the first one I mean they're you only see the first one They're they're all basically the same but I mean they the way they do the a cappella with the music and stuff like that It's pretty cool. So if you're in there, well I've literally tried to watch High school musical like 14 times and I can't get past the first five minutes We're not gonna talk about that before because I'll just embarrass myself. So
Speaker: Anyways, tell me you know the fucking songs I dare you I've never seen the movies however They were
Speaker: They were, they were our kids, my kids generation, my kids, Greece. Yes. Yes. And I'm not going to lie, the movies as predictable as they were, as cheesy as they were, as corny as they were. I like the music and you know, Zac Efron, Zac Efron, he kind of, that dude has become a little beast.
Speaker: That little fucking... Jesus Christ, did you see him in fucking... What's that fucking life... Baywatch movie? Fuck that dude. Holy shit, you gotta see Baywatch. That motherfucker is ripped like a motherfucker. And he's actually not a terrible actor. Yeah, bad neighbors. Holy shit, that shit's fine. I got a really bad echo.
Speaker: But, uh, James Franco, the rapist, his little brother.
Speaker: Yeah, have you seen that? Wasn't that Seth Rogen? Seth Rogen, yeah. Yeah. Trust me, I've seen it where he's in it. Oh, my God. He's fucking hilarious in that shit. But he basically plays the same character in every movie. So that the kids, I think he cracks me up. No, in high school musical, the music, the songs are pretty cool. They were pretty catchy. And that's what kind of sucked me in because my kid, my girls, especially Austin, my oldest one.
Speaker: She watched the shit out of high school musical. And that fucking Zac Efron, man. Apparently, he sang in that movie. Yeah. Well, he was in that he was in that movie with Chandler from 17 again. I have my wife bought it on DVD and I've seen that movie more times than I care to admit.
Speaker: It's actually, it's actually pretty good. It's not a terrible movie. The guy from Frasier, his best friend, fucking hilarious. The thing about that movie is on the fucking principle. Holy shit. The thing about that movie, Seventeen again, was just like the Tom Hanks big movie. Same premise, same concept. And then Jennifer Gardner, Jennifer Gardner did that movie where she was
Speaker: She made a wish on her birthday and then she went back to being a teenager. Oh, yeah, that's it's called 13 going on 30. Yeah. So I mean, they've done that movie. Yeah. Well, cute movie, cute movie. Leslie Mann in 17 again, in anything Leslie Mann is in. I think that woman is gorgeous. Yeah.
Speaker: If you really want a good look, I know the name. I just want to go to look at Leslie Mann. Look at this is 40. Or I think it's this is 40. I just. And I know she is. I do that with Ryan Reynolds, too. It's oh, yeah, she's done a bunch of movies. She is. She is. She is the she is. She was on Saturday Night Live. You know, you know who she is. No, listen, man. You know who she is. Oh, she is your friend's hot mom.
Speaker: My friend's hot mom. Like in real life as a person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, when I moved into my own place, and him and Andy and I used to ride together to school, in high school, because I picked them up on my way, because I went through Centerbird. Right. Then so come out from the house and be like, your mom's not gonna tell us good morning? Shut up, Glick. Nice. Now, Leslie Mann, she did a movie with Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman.
Speaker: Where Ryan Reynolds they they switch bodies and she plays uh, Jason Bateman's wife Ryan Reynolds or Ryan Reynolds is constantly telling Jason what's fuck his wife And she gets topless I know I love that movie glee was mine. I love glee too. I like glee. Um, I've seen every episode. No, like she's not she's Yeah, i've seen every episode you want to talk about catch more than once
Speaker: Yeah. And I'm sorry, but Puck is a man. I like Finn, man. I did too. I was saying, well. Puck was awesome too. The girl from Glee that she's in the later seasons that she can't sing for shit. She's called like Honey or some shit like that.
Speaker: I don't know her name, but she's in the last couple of seasons of Glee. She's in Turner and Hooch. She plays the girl that's in love with Turner. Oh, yeah. Yeah. She's gorgeous. I've always had the thing for her.
Speaker: I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't know. Maybe I'm weird like that. I just don't find many celebrities and stuff like that. So hot.
Speaker: I've had a conversation with my wife about this, about celebrities. Isn't Leslie married to the guy who did 40 -year -old Virgin and Joe? No, she's actually married to Will Forte. Who is Judd Apatow? Who is his wife?
Speaker: Judd Apatow. I don't know his wife is. That's the guy who did like. I know Judd Apatow is. You want to talk about ugly fuck. Yeah, Leslie Mann. Is he really? Yeah, that's who I thought she was. I thought she was married to Will Arnez. She's in all of his movies. Knocked up. This is 40, 40 year old version train wreck. Funny people. The King of Staten Island. Heavyweights. Anchorman. She's in all of his movies. I know shit. It's kind of like the Adam Sandler's wife.
Speaker: She's in every one of his movies in in Hubie Halloween she plays a Which in in in? Just go with it. She plays the girl. He was gonna marry in The very beginning the movie oh She's in every one of his movies in the movie where he's a
Speaker: The one we did with Andy Samborg, that's my boy. He, she plays the, the masseuse. Okay. Yeah. In Hubie Halloween, she played the news reporter that's dressed like Harley Quinn. She's going full on gay over here. He's like, I love fighting.
Speaker: Really? I watched it. Somebody was talking about... Wasn't the TV show or the movie, pops? The movie. Wasn't that the movie where the chick did the... No, that was Flashdance, where she did the dance and she pulled the cord and all the water. Yeah, that's Flashdance. Fame is about a bunch of kids going to... They go to a performing arts school and they all want to be famous and the one girl goes in and... Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Love that scene in Flashdance, I'm just saying. Before I hit puberty. That was your Jennifer Grey? No, Jennifer Grey was my Jennifer Grey. Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing, smoking hot, man. She's not even that attractive, though. Oh my god, I thought she was gorgeous in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Yeah, she was his chooses.
Speaker: She was the sister. The TV show. Pops like the TV show. Oh. Yeah, she was the bitch sister in Ferris Bueller's Day. Oh, I love that girl. She still looks good, but now that she fixed her nose, it ruined everything. You know who you're going to be speaking. Oh, go ahead. And being young and dumb and our first crushes, you know who's still. Hank Ranger. Oh, yes, but no, that's not where I was going.
Speaker: Sorry, a little bit older. Uh, Winnie Cooper from, Oh yes. Oh, and Topanga and Topanga. I was going to say Topanga. Oh my God. That girl could do things to me. I'll be right back.
Speaker: the the the the pretty few best sent back when we was teenagers and and those those of you who are listening and those of you who may listen to this I don't know why you would but if you do when when when we was teenagers those of us in our 40s we had our first brushes and and Winnie Cooper was actually
Speaker: Winnie Cooper and Kelly Kapowski were two of my first crushers and Candace Cameron from Full House. They were like my three crushes as a kid growing up. And I don't necessarily find them super attractive today or anything like that. I mean, they're still all three of them are all good looking women and they're all up there.
Speaker: It was something about those three. Candace Cameron was another one that I said from Full House. Winnie Cooper. Which one was Candace Cameron? She's a... She's the oldest sister in Full House. Yeah. She's still good looking. And you know who's really good looking now? If you watch Fuller House, the girl that played her younger sister, smoking hot now.
Speaker: The one, the one, the one that's in Fuller House is like a DJ. Yeah. The middle one who has fucking boobs for days. Holy shit. Yeah. No, I was saying I started watching Fuller House because that chick was on. I was like, holy shit. She went. Yeah. When I was when I was a young, when I was a young lad, Kelly Kapowski, Winnie Cooper and DJ were my crushes.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, I mean, they all still look good. Well, yeah, of course, Topanga, but that was later on. The funny thing is, if you watch Boy Meets World in the beginning, she, she grew into her hotness. Like in the first couple of seasons, you're like, eh, I don't know what I saw there. Yeah, she was the nerdy girl. And then she came home. She was the original.
Speaker: I don't know what that means, but okay. Both Fred Savage and his goofy ass brother scored some hot chicks for their love interest. The chick who played Winnie Cooper, she actually used to follow me on Periscope and she'd actually come into a couple of my lives before. That's cool.
Speaker: It was pretty crazy to see her in there and actually not just come in, but comment, comment, come in and jump in the conversation. That's cool. That's like as close as you and I will get to dreams coming true.
Speaker: Well, I mean, that's the thing. I don't have the same thoughts or feelings that I had when I was a teenager. No, no, I get it. But it's like childhood dreams come true. It's like when you were a kid, if Winnie Cooper would have walked in your house, you'd have fucking had a heart attack. Oh, yeah, exactly. But I mean, the fact that - But now you're just like, hey, that's cool.
Speaker: Yeah. The fact that I can say that Winnie Cooper came into my life on a couple of occasions and actually joined into the conversation and was chit -chatting was really cool. Oh yeah. You know, Winnie Cooper, Jesus Christ. She was the ultimate girl next door though. Yeah. What are you Jesus Christ thing about?
Speaker: I was talking **** in our Snapchat and the guy that I'm going against in the hockey thing, I was already beating him by 30 points and he was like, I still have 100 minutes, 180 minutes of players to play and I was like, I got 120. Well, right now, I am currently beating him 101 to 59.
Speaker: I am shitting all over his face. Man. I'm trying to think of, I don't remember the girl's name, but she's in that John Tucker Must Die. She plays one of the, well, all the girls in that movie are good looking, but she becomes one of the friends of Brittany Snow, and she was in another movie.
Speaker: called Dirty Deeds. And I saw him on Dirty Deeds and I was like, that chick's gorgeous. A show or a movie? Dirty Deeds is a movie. And it starts. The one with the. Melode, whatever his name is. The guy with the hair look from Heroes. Oh, no, I have no idea. Oh, yeah, that was, that was Ariel Cabell. Cabell? Yeah. The blonde chick.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, okay. She's gorgeous. She kind of looks like Mandy Moore. A little bit, a little bit. Not all, like some of, some of, some of the ways they do her hair and makeup and stuff, she kind of looks a little bit like Mandy Moore. Yeah. No, I don't know.
Speaker: I've seen the movie when it first came out. Flashdance, she is referred to as Steel Town Girl. Joe has seen, Joe's seen the movie when it first came out. Joe's also like. I was going to say that's dating yourself. Joe and Posh are practically antiques. Posh is going to be able to put in the home soon anyway. So yeah.
Speaker: And we'll start, we'll have nonsensical nonsense three. It's a big four dually. Big four dually that never leaves the part in the spot. Exactly. So what do you say we wrap this up? Go into our after show bullshit, whether it be on here, whether it be on tick tock, whether it be on wherever the hell we decide to go.
Speaker: Yeah, but let's go ahead and wrap this up because we reach that point where we're just talking about bullshit. Okay, y 'all have fun. Well, welcome back, pretty girl. You're going to come back in. We're going to go live. We're going to do the exercise. I just want to wrap this up because it's just going nowhere. And this is not good for the actual ratings. Oh, wow. Okay. No.
Speaker: Are you mad at me for something? Yeah, are you mad at me for something and I do something wrong? I'm so confused. So it's a normal day. You're confused. Pretty much. I confused very easily. You and me both. But yeah, let's go ahead and wrap up and
Speaker: sing our song because apparently we get yelled at if we don't sing along. Jesus. We get yelled at? Who yells at us for not singing along? I don't know. Somebody bitched in the comments. Oh, do they? I might have missed it. That was probably on your 475. Yeah, it was probably on my own. He wasn't singing. I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker: I was like, good. He's like, I didn't hear what the fuck, Chuck. Oh, shit, Chuck. How did you not hear? Don't put your fucking ears. No, it was like one of the times we didn't do it. Oh, really? And somebody fucking was pissed. I don't know who it was. I don't remember. But I was like, damn, all right, we'll get on it. All right. Well, yeah, we'll go ahead and yeah, let's go ahead and wrap this up. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out.
Speaker: Uh, if you guys aren't already, feel free to follow us on social media at Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tik TOK, all at nonsensical nonsense. You can also check out our live shows every Wednesday and Saturday night on HAPS, YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook, of course. And, um, all at all at nonsensical nonsense.
Speaker: And if you wanna listen to every episode of the podcast, feel free to check us out on Anchor, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Podcast, basically anywhere and everywhere you get your podcast jollies. Definitely appreciate your guys' support. You guys follow us, you share it with your friends, you tell your friends about it. Greatly appreciate it, that's the only way we're gonna grow.
Speaker: And all the way we're gonna get better because you know you guys can criticize and judge us and and tell us what we need to do to make it better Go give us a liking go give us a thumb in double thumb Give us a little pounding give us a follow and If you'd like to email us again, like I said if you know
Speaker: listening to it and you like what you hear and you like to give us some corrective criticism. This guy goes to money and I'm going to be like, how can we better this podcast? Well, you usually say if you want to sponsor this dumpster fire. I'm getting there. Just saying.
Speaker: Or if you want to come on the show and be a part of the show, uh, we can do a little interview, interview, roosky, and a roosky, and a roosky, and her new, a roosky, interview a roosky. There we go. Um, we're not your typical one of the mill boring, mundane, monotoned interviewers. We let you come in and we ask you a few questions and then we make you feel, this is your safe zone. This is your safe space. We give you a puppy and a coloring book.
Speaker: and a glass of milk and a let's go Brandon sticker. And if you do want to, if you're a business and you want us to promote your business, just reach out to us. We can work out the details and you can do that by emailing us at the Gmail account that is corresponding with this podcast to
Speaker: to which you would send your message and we would respond to that message. I can't do it when I look at your stupid face.
Speaker: I get all this shit in my head. Yeah. I get all this shit in my head. I'm like, I'm just going to delay it, delay it, delay it, delay it. And then you start doing this stupid ass look, but that is the end of the show. Four hour Saturday, three and a half hours Saturday night show. Appreciate y 'all listening. Much love to you, Jeffrey. I love you, brother. We'll see you in a minute, sir. Love you doses.
Speaker: Enjoy a little black dot mojo. Go give them some love. Go give them a follow. Tell them we sent you the official closure of the show. That means we're out. We're done. It's time to sing. It's coming up. We gotta wait for it because it's got the slowest intro out of all their fucking songs. I love singing along to this song.
Speaker: I sing along to it too. It just kills me that every song I play, as soon as I click the button, it's like, bah, dah, dah. And this song, it's like. And this one's like, we'll take our little sweet time.
Speaker: Raise the blade above her head And I'll begin to believe she's dead Oh, I'm all over the sky Take this back, rewind I want a real fight
Speaker: Sir, can I help you? Do you have any weapons of any kind? Anything to defend yourself? Sir, this is a Speedy Mart. Speedy Mart. We have hot dogs too for a dollar.
Speaker: I just put them on the roller yesterday. No man like something sharp something like I can stab defend myself with. I've got some sharp titter combos over there it's kind of like a rich cracker pregnant with a cheese baby. All right well let me just take one of these lighters and I'm gonna borrow your bug spray and
Speaker: Can I borrow your bathroom key as well? Yeah, bathroom key. All right. Bathroom key. That's bathroom key right there. Make sure you bring it back. And that'll be $1 ,362. And I'm going to have to have exact change. So we're in a coin shortage at the moment. Coin shortage. Whatever, man. Whatever, man. OK. Snap. Here she comes. Here she comes. I'm sorry. Here she comes.
Speaker: Make me satisfied I want to live forever Now, believe in the Earth Give me another Make me a guideline
Speaker: Oh shit, Chuck! Oh shit, Chuck, Chuck!
Speaker: Take this life and find me I wanna live forever And now I'm still letting me know I'm feeling whatever Makes me a god like you
Speaker: Hell yeah! We'll see you all Wednesday night. We outta here. Deuces. Jeff loves the cockpicks. Send all your dick pics to Jeff at KTKM Productions on Snapchat.
