Transcript
Speaker: you
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Not upright.
Speaker: Why are you so muted? You need to unmute yourself. I don't know why there are you. I don't know. I started fucking music playing the goddamn thing restarted. It's fucking right. It's shit over here. Turn this down a little bit. Kill this. Difficulties start to show. Here.
Speaker: Wouldn't be Saturday without technical difficulty. Here we go. What's going on everybody? Happy Saturday. It is a victory Saturday. I'm celebrating a dope for my boys up in Michigan University of Michigan. Put that beat down on Rutgers.
Speaker: Tasty victory is so good. Anywho, hopefully everybody's enjoying their weekend so far. If you're not, go ahead and check us out on them socials, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Don't forget you can hang out with us live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays on YouTube and Facebook, 7 p .m .ish.
Speaker: any time any place on Zincaster, Spotify, everywhere you listen to podcasts at all at nonsensical nonsense podcasts. Go ahead and give us a follow. Give us a listen and if you be so kind, give us a share. We greatly appreciate that as always. Ah, that's Jeff. I'm Glick. That's me.
Speaker: We're going to get our do our thing. Get it started tonight. Uh, two things football related real quick. I don't want to jump onto a football thing. First and foremost. Hey, it's Saturday night. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're in fantasy football, football has been crazy this year. There's been a lot of injuries. Make sure your lineups are set. Don't want to hear no boo hoo and no excuses because
Speaker: Excuses are like assholes. Everybody's got one. They all smell like shit. Get over it. Nobody wants to hear that. You're Lee. Oh, I only lost because I didn't change my well, it's nobody's fault. But true. Also, if I can keep up, well, I do help you a lot too. So yeah, but you asked me today, check your lineup. And I said, Oh, looks like everybody's I have playing. I'm good. Unless there's one black.
Speaker: We're going to have a second announcement tomorrow morning. Yeah, we've always said it up. We said it up Wednesday night but it was just a matter of just just always double check it because you don't never know. What could happen or when somebody's. Whoa. Hello. That's me. Also, on another note, I just want to say
Speaker: Shut up, Dion Sanders. You fucking jerk off. The Cinderella story ended today when you guys finally played a real team and you got your dumb dick knocked in the fucking dirt. Get the fuck out of here. Enjoy your three wins on the season because that's all you're going to win. God, I'm so sick and fucking tired of hearing a Colorado and Dion Sanders and blah, blah, blah, blah. And the more I hear that motherfucker talk, the more I can't stand him.
Speaker: That is the most beyond play back in the day. Or is he still playing? No, he played, he's coaching. Oh, he's coaching. And he went to Colorado, like he was the greatest goddamn coach known to mankind. And they had out of their entire roster. I think it was like 85 players or whatever it is, 75 players that had scholarships, only 10, only 10 returned this year because basically he told them he's bringing his own guys and that they won't play for him.
Speaker: and that they need to go. Yeah. He's workout for you. He's such a jerk. I mean, they started the season three and everybody's sucking their dick. The entire nation sucking his dick thinking it's the greatest thing since fucking slice bread. And I was like, is anybody looking at their schedule at all? Like six of their nine opponents are top 25 ranked teams. Half of those six are like in the top.
Speaker: Yeah. So, you know, enjoy your, enjoy your three wins. Cause that's all you're going to get this year. And I hope we never have to hear from you again, because all you did was try to hit all you, all he did was turn it into a Dion Sanders show and, and, and it's just fucking obnoxious. Well, as I recall, Dion was kind of a hell of a player back in the day.
Speaker: Deon was a was an absolute phenomenal football player and baseball player. He played football and baseball at the professional level. No, I don't want to go. But just because you can play doesn't mean you can coach. Sorry, he was not. I mean, he's a he's a good coach. Don't get me wrong. But he's not going to go to a program like like he like because he was I can't remember the name of the college he was at like Jackson State or something like that. It was one of those HBCUs.
Speaker: or HBCs, I think, sorry, I'm sorry guys, if I fucked that up. The historically black colleges. Okay. Before he went to Colorado, basically they're once they're, they're, they're not, I'm nothing against the school, but where their division is, they're basically still high school players. And he went in there and ran wild. And it's not, it's not a top 10, you know, you're not playing fucking Ohio state.
Speaker: Colorado's been garbage for years, but But they are on a bigger level and a bigger platform and they play Much harder schedule. So it's just like you know, I was happy for him to get the first win You know, but after that that it's just that I then his true colors came out and it was just like you're a fucking scumbag
Speaker: Shut up. You're making it all about you. And Oregon coach, the, the, the, the pregame prep talk he gave, he said, they're out there doing it for clicks and we're fighting for wins. Now get out there and get the job done and Oregon beat them like 42 to six. I think they let them have one touchdown. I can honestly say I had no idea he was coaching.
Speaker: Yeah, he's been cooking for a few years now. Well, you might have mentioned it before, but that doesn't mean I was paying attention because it's fucking football. I'm like, there are bigger things in life. For more important things than football, says the guy who never learns your ball. Hey. Fair enough.
Speaker: but I don't have to worry about my team winning. I mean, my life doesn't revolve around sports. I enjoy sports. I like, as I said, if I'm at a bar and it's playing, okay, I'll watch. Yeah. I'm not going to sit here at my house and tune in. You know, I get excited watching the game. I love watching football. I like watching hockey. Um, but it's one of those things, you know, when I was younger, I mean,
Speaker: If the Browns lost, which I did a lot, it would ruin my entire fucking Sunday. Now it's like, Oh, well, what games on next? Where am I? What's my fantasy team doing? Who do I got to watch next? And now I'm, you know, it used to be like that, you know, even with, with Michigan, it was just like, I got to a point where it was like,
Speaker: I have no control over this. I can, I just need to sit back and enjoy it for what it is. It's entertainment. It's, it's. Anything that I would watch on TV that would ruin my entire day. Nope. Can't think of a thing. What if you were watching a show and you thought it was a car show and they took all these,
Speaker: classic cars and all these cars that you love and they were completely redone like to pristine Full restoration, you know like like, you know that how they pull them up with that. What is that Jackson Barrett? Barrett Jackson Barrett Jackson. Hey, I was almost right It's just dyslexic I'm dyslexic
Speaker: Yeah, but once again, it wouldn't bother me. I mean, I was like, yeah, they did it for the show. So they bring them in like they do the Barrett Jackson thing and you're like, oh, cool. Let me watch it with actuality. They put them into a smasher. And they wouldn't bother me because, A, if they were fully restored, I couldn't afford them anyways. Dude, I told you, I found a 59, was it 59 caddy?
Speaker: and fully restored and it's like 30 grand. I was like, Jesus, that'd be cool to have. I just can't, I mean, yeah, I can afford to buy it, but would I? It would be like, I mean, it wouldn't matter if you bought it. I mean, beautiful car, but it's not my, it's not my, it's not my jam. It's not my jam.
Speaker: if you go forward about it, you would destroy it the moment you pulled it out of the freaking garage. Not necessarily. No, well, see, for me, if I were to buy a caddy, it wouldn't be, I'm going to fucking mash the gas through the floor. You know, I buy a charger. Oh yeah, that's day one.
Speaker: I don't think you ever, I don't think you ever met a vehicle of any sorts that you didn't go first thing in there. I'm going to match the gas to the floor and see what does that do. When I was in, when I was in school, Oh yeah. A hundred percent nowadays. I'm not that guy. I'm not that guy anymore. I mean, it does not say that never happens. I know some of you listeners, this is the first time you're hearing Jeff and this might be the very first time you've ever heard Jeff speak.
Speaker: but I've known him for 25 years and him saying he's not that guy is complete total bullshit. He might want to die anymore because if he keeps talking, he's going to get struck by lightning. No, no, no, no. Like I said, I'm not that guy anymore. Yes, I am the asshole that's like, look at empty parking lot. A great place to do donuts. Let's do donuts. You know, once I put my boots on, shit's getting deep.
Speaker: I'm not saying that I won't go nuts in an empty parking lot. But. And I'm not saying I wouldn't burn the shit out of set of tires. I'm still that guy. But day one. No, I'm not that guy. You just said like a few episodes back. You got to get on a something like that, especially you're spending 30 G's on a car. A classic car. I'm going to wind up spending like 100 ,000 on the truck I want when the kids are grown.
Speaker: Oh, easily. Dude, 30 G's is cheap. Yeah. I saw like, for instance, right now, the classic 69 charger, you know, the dukes of hazard car, the Tom Toretto fucking car. Those are going for 110 K fully twisted. I don't, I'm not rich. I'm going to be paying 100, $100 ,000 for like until the day you die. That has a third year.
Speaker: a 30 year loan on a car. I know. Hey, I'm with you on that. But see, I'm, I'm also like, you're, you're, you're the guy that buys brand new vehicle and you'll, you'll make that came over here. I'm not that guy. Yeah. I don't buy brand new. I mean, I mean, you buy off a lot. Yeah. I mean, my, my cruise, I bought that brand now.
Speaker: And I think the newest thing before that that I was my, was my Pontiac. My Pontiac was a year old when I got that. I've only bought one vehicle off a lot. And the reason why I bought it off a lot is that I worked at the lot and it came in my little SM. Yeah. Most of my cars I bought, they are about a year or two old. I usually don't go much more than three, but I also buy a car every four years.
Speaker: Right. So I buy a car and I drive it to the wheels fall off. Which is usually six months later. No, not necessarily. No, fuck. I had the Malibu. I drove the wheels off it. I had it for four years for drove the wheels off it. And then the pandemic hit. Did your car get COVID? What's that? Did your car get COVID? No, but the pandemic hit and I ran out of money.
Speaker: I wasn't working during the pandemic. I didn't work. I was, it was before I started the job. I do now. Let's say you weren't working when we started the podcast. What are you talking about? That was before the pandemic. No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. We started in 21 and 2021. It was, uh, it was like, uh, it was like six months to a year before the pandemic started. When we started the podcast, we started this after 2020.
Speaker: which is when the pandemic hit. And we started this in 2021. It was like three months before I started working. And my job is dealing with the pandemic. I don't know. I'm going to have to go back and listen. Go ahead and take a look. Cause I got the job. I got the job that I work now. Uh, what? Like four months into doing this. I was doing it off my phone.
Speaker: We were doing it way longer than that before you, I feel like before you got the job. I got the job in October of 21, October, November, November, November 21. That's when I started working. Oh, I can't say much. I'm on my fourth job since I, uh, since we started the podcast, fifth job, I think. And you're, and you're 60th fiance.
Speaker: Second. Same difference. Second fiance and third girlfriend. I've only been in three relationships since the podcast started. And I've only had one job. I've been through more men than that since the podcast started.
Speaker: Yeah, but Adam, all the jobs I've had in my life, this is the one job I'm actually still excited to go to work. I love my job. There's not a whole lot of people can say that about their job. Oh, no, I feel you. I mean, I feel the same way about about my company. You know, I love the company I work for and I love the work I do. Speaking of jobs, speaking of loving companies, I got to go back to one of my old companies yesterday. I saw that. Had the old red shirt on. Yeah, buddy.
Speaker: had a good time. I love going back there. I went back to Abercrombie. They needed our model for the night. And their stock dropped 50 points. Hey boys, look what I got here. Hey, where are the white women at? Abadoo.
Speaker: Shabbat! Shabbagli! What's going on in the book? Now they had a new Sas watch line that they needed modeled at Abercrombie, so I'm a catchy guy. Now last night was the challenge. I always have fun going back and working with the challenge. I've had several different posts when I've been there.
Speaker: And last night was probably the floor for anybody listening. Never on the floor. Never shirtless boys on the floor. Always shirtless. I hit him with that. I hit him with that. I hit him with the blue steel.
Speaker: I've never seen the second one. I didn't even know there was a second one until not too long ago. I I've I've not watched the second one all the way through because I got like five minutes to do it and I was like, this is a big piece of **** I'm out. Not that the first one was any cinematic masterpiece. Yeah. Spoiler alert. Yeah. No, you know, like I said, I I didn't I enjoy going back and working for the challenge. It's always a good time. There's always good food
Speaker: And when the drunks come out acting into the show, uh, we, they are something at home. And the crazy thing about it is a good majority of the people in attendance, there are employees where I was, I, where I was at last night, I was posted up with a new Albany PD police officer. What's going on, Lucas? Hopefully you had a good day today. I know you had to get up warning early and early this morning, if you're watching or if you hear this, um,
Speaker: Poor poor bastard had to get up for a six o 'clock shift six six a .m. Yeah, but uh We were out there just fucking chilling and hanging out most in them but all the drunk people come out and I was telling him I was like man there is no way in hell that I as an employee would go to a work function and Get just get absolutely shit face on
Speaker: company property number one, which I mean, obviously you're going to start that big deal. You're allowed to drink. It's the event, you know, the whole event you're, everybody's starting to drink and have a good time and, and watch the bands and stuff like that. Yeah, but getting, getting hip. She having a good time and getting absolutely shit face or two new holy. Yeah. Good shit face puking your guts out and being found in the boards to, you know, like nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, a bunch of 22 year olds, correct?
Speaker: I don't know, man. I mean, people of all ages, but it's it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's
Speaker: Bro, I'm not that, I'm definitely not that guy. Like, I, you know, if I, if let's say by some crazy miracle, I left my house, we go to a party. I know my limit. I know when I get that feeling where I should slow down or I should stop. I'm not, I don't get shit faced anymore. Like the most drunk I've been in the past three years,
Speaker: Was that night on the show that I kept calling you bitch? I don't even drink anymore. I don't even know what you're talking about. This is a non -alcoholic Miller Lite. Yeah, sure it is. Being held by an alcoholic, but okay.
Speaker: Zero, zero alcohol, less calories. So water in a middle of the light can. Got it. If you're 70 and you're getting drunk, you can get a pass. I mean, I don't know. Like, you know, I, you know, I've gotten pretty drunk with Nicki's dad, but we've been out in the garage.
Speaker: We got drunk last weekend. I was still drunk from Saturday night when we showed up out there and I started drinking and I drink myself sober. Hold on, I'm doing the map on that. I was still drunk from Saturday night because we got. Okay, it is on Saturday night after after we left. We went to Bill's house. We got Rizzo.
Speaker: I'm not that guy. I don't, like I said, I'm, I'm, uh, in a, in a, in a five hour period at a party, I'm going to be bored out of my mind already. So in a, in a party for three hours, there's no reason I'm ready to go. Yeah. You should never be bored at a party.
Speaker: Although, the only reason you're bored at a party is because you think you're better than everybody else and you don't want to be there. No, it's not even about being better than anybody else. It's, it's like, no, but let's say I go to, go to a party and I don't know anybody there. Make friends. I'm going to be bored. Yeah. But it's like, you don't, you think you're better than everybody. Well, I know I am. No, but my thing is like,
Speaker: I have that weird mentality. Like, does anybody really want me here? Would anybody notice if I left? No. Yeah, exactly. That's why I leave. That's why I leave. I'm like, fuck it. I don't go home, watch TV. I'm anywhere where there's alcohol for five hours. I drank for five hours straight. I'd be dead.
Speaker: Just moderation and I well, yeah It's been five hours and I've drank the entire time No, but I in five hours like if if I'm if I'm having a good time I Might have ten beers in five hours Because I because I moderate, you know
Speaker: But if I'm going with the plant, getting drunk, Oh yeah, I'm going to crush it. 24 pack. But yeah, I can't imagine you being able to put away 24 beers by yourself. Oh, I can do it. I mean, yes, I'll wake up with alcohol poisoning. But yeah, exactly. But like back in the day.
Speaker: you know, when I wouldn't go to the club every night and you know, I'd drink the entire night. Yeah, you're my first year here. All I do is drink. You're a **** wrecked golf. He said two double shots of tequila per hour and five beers. Is that five beers per hour? So, fifteen beers and and and ten double shots.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, you might you might **** a mud puddle thinking it's a **** if you drink that much. The to kill you alone is going to get you. Yeah, that **** sneak up on you. Go **** out there **** a tree stump. You're like, what the hell are you doing? This **** **** **** **** **** raw. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. Good job. High five.
Speaker: Slap money. Good game, Mark. Good game. Watch out for that squirrel. Watch it. Dude, two shots. Two double shots, tequila. I'm laying down. I'm going to take me in half. I'm drunk. Now, granted, if I take him back to battle,
Speaker: I'm not going to feel it for a minute, but when that shit hits, I'm out. I'm done. If it's warm outside, go walk. It's going to be at night. It's going to be nice, warm and wet. What's going on? Good morning. Oh my God. If you gave me, if you gave me a double shot of tequila every hour at the end of the night, there'd be five double shots of tequila sitting on the table.
Speaker: because or laying on the floor because that I went I used to be about drinking and these guys I was like here let's take a shot let's take it out I would literally be like yeah we'll take a shot and I poured on the floor and be like yeah that was awesome I ain't drinking that shit I had a threesome last night boys yeah you did
Speaker: Yeah, we see. Yeah, we're good. Hold on. I got video. Look here. Here you go. Go watch this. Good. Oh, man. Two double shots in general. Yeah, I'm going home. I'm going to lay down. I'm fucking hammered. Maybe after I take them. But that shit will sneak up on you and kick you right in the teeth. Yeah. Oh, can polar.
Speaker: I drink as often as I can. I am. I am after all married. I mean, this is the reason why his fiance drinks. I was going to say, I could, I could say that I'm the, you know, Nikki's the reason I drink, but that's not a bad thing. She's just a raging alcoholic like me. You kind of did hit the jackpot with her. Let's be honest. I know.
Speaker: Yeah, I came home last night and she had a couple, she bought a bottle of one of the bottles of the pre -made margaritas. I already had the tequila and everything in it. And then she bought a couple cans of something else. So by the time I got done working last night, she was like, I'm feeling a little bit tipsy. And I got home and, uh, a little bit, I got a little more.
Speaker: I got home and my feet were killing me. My back was killing me from standing all night and everything else. And I was like, uh, yeah, I might drink a few beers, you know? And she's like, she looks over at me and she's like, well, I didn't sleep last night. Might as well not sleep tonight. I was like, what are you talking about? She was like, we could just stay up and drink all night. And I was like, okay. I went out and grabbed a couple of beers out of the refrigerator.
Speaker: I finished the second one, just cracked open the, finished the first one, just cracked open the second one. And she was like, bedtime? And I'm like, can I, I mean, granted it was three o 'clock in the morning. I was like, can I finish my beer that I just owned? And she's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead. I thought we were going to stay up and drink all night. One last reason to drink on Friday night.
Speaker: Nice. Nice. I'm sorry that your mother -in -law got COVID, but nice. But nice. We've been there. We've all been there. Yep, yep. I wish COVID was the thing when I was married so that I didn't have to see my ex -mother -in -law. The reason why she's your ex -mother -in -law.
Speaker: Well, I mean, let's be honest, my ex will learn more because. Well, yeah. A lot of reasons. A little far from far from the tree. And no, I'm just kidding. I'm only kidding. I'm only kidding. No, I'm only kidding. No, my, you know, there was there was a whole mess of problems with
Speaker: with my previous marriage and we both made our mistakes and had our issues. Hers was like, we're like a 7 -11 and they were open 24. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. Like a doormob. Everybody got a turn. I tease because I can. Why? Because we're in a good place now and I can make jokes. I'm sure those jokes still go over like a lead balloon.
Speaker: No, I mean in a joking manner as long as I'm not like you fuck No, I Got PTSD from our from our creepers because
Speaker: Twisting and edit our words to make them make us sound so bad. I have to add those caveats of I'm just joking Yeah, it's a joke not a dick stop taking it so hard Speaking of our click on on July 3rd of 2019 you said Ebracadabra these bitches need slapping What?
Speaker: Thinking a bar. I don't think I've ever said that before papers. Speak you're our creepers. I have something for them Yeah, and you could quote me on that I just thank them for the numbers into that But I mean
Speaker: No, we're not going to be I won't be petty tonight. Let's be nice. Let's be nice. I won't be petty today. Petty, petty almost. Oh, petty, petty. No, I won't be in that. No. No, I mean, I actually I really like Mickey's parents. I mean, not only did like you said, you know,
Speaker: You know, you're you're her pops and you get along because you're raising alcoholics You've never really mentioned her mom a lot. So I think I might have found my room Yeah, I was gonna say am I gonna go get a blood test Tell me you're my sister
Speaker: No, her mom's really cool too. Her, her, her mom's awesome. Her mom, she, she will give me just as much shit as, as everybody else. She breaks my balls probably more than her or her dad does, to be honest with you. Well, there you go. Yeah. No, I, her parents are awesome. Um, I get along with them really good. I enjoy hanging out with, uh, with her dad when we get to go out there and, you know, we got there, sit in the garage and drink and watch football, football is on and bullshit.
Speaker: and everything like that. I definitely uh I lucked out. Yeah, he did. Hit the uh hit the lottery, the relationship lottery. Now, if I could just hit the money lottery. Right? Man. It would solve a lot of problems. Yeah, those those brand new 3500 Chevys don't buy themself. Let me tell you. Money can't buy happiness. You've ever seen somebody riding a jet ski not smiling. That's right.
Speaker: anybody that says that has never had money. I'll bet you I've been smiling ear to ear every day in my brand new. I bet the Elon Musk is one of the happiest motherfuckers on the planet. I bet you I'll be smiling ear to ear every day in my brand new Chevy four by four. It ain't shit. Pulling up to my my my house and my big old property with toys and
Speaker: It's kind of like what I was saying before the show. Nobody's ever sat in a Mexican restaurant because it's awesome food. No, they're sad like two hours later in the bathroom.
Speaker: This is what I eat though. This was such a good decision two hours ago. I eat the Catholic priest statue. I eat the old priest and the new priest. I'm exercising demons back here, motherfucker. Yeah, amen to that. Call me Pope Richard. Oh, no.
Speaker: Believe it or not, after 21 years of being here, that doesn't really happen to me anymore. Cause that's basically when I go out, every restaurant's a Mexican restaurant. I was going to say, I mean, at this point, I think it's just an age thing. Golf talk knows he's old. Age is not a fun time when you get older like this, because if you eat the wrong thing, your afternoon is fucked. We talked about earlier about like,
Speaker: I can't really think of anything in the room my day. I just thought of something eating the wrong thing, spend the entire day in the bath. Yeah. But then you got people like me who has a steel cauldron because I drank and just eat horribly my entire life. And like, let's be honest, I don't eat well. I mean, last night I had McDonald's because I was like, I don't want to cook.
Speaker: And today all I've had is a bag of Doritos and a Coke. Because, you know, that's what we all do. That's right. I had swim jigs. Well, I had beef jerky too. Because it's awesome. It was good beef jerky. It's like, it's a, what's the brand name on it? I can't remember what it was. It's like Mike's or I don't know, some weird brand.
Speaker: Excellent beef jerky. Uh, I was telling Kevin when we were picking it up, they have the big bag of the dried beef jerky. It's really, really, really good. And then we got the, the Jack links. Yeah, that's the one. And then we got, um, we got the ones that are kind of like Slim Jim's, you know, they're, they're, they're more moist than regular beef jerky. I think tomorrow we're going to get a bag.
Speaker: although the bag won't make it home because it's fucking like we um and I don't know I know golf in the state so I don't know if golf's still around here or not but at um uh we have barbecue sauce right over sweet sweet baby raised barbecue sauce it's amazing it comes in all kinds of flavors they got honey mustard and all that stuff and uh but they but they've got um they've got a um
Speaker: line of beef jerky actually like three, $4 cheaper than the Jack links, maybe more. Cause Jack links is so goddamn expensive up here. Oh my God, dude. It costs like, what was it? $4 a fucking stick. Oh yeah. That's expensive. No, it's not motherfucker because we didn't even make it. We didn't even make it like
Speaker: a quarter of the way back and we were out. Hey Kevin, tell us you have no concept of money without telling us you have no concept of money. Those sweet baby braids, beef jerkies, man. I would get to teriyaki or the sweet barbecue, but they, they're not like, and Jack's links is kind of dry, you know, while it's like dry, dry jerky. These are like jerky nuggets.
Speaker: Ooh. So they're real, they're, they're a little bit thicker and they're real moist and they got a nice like, yeah, like I won't say, I don't want to say chewy, but like a nice moist, flavorful, flavorful taste to it. All my time. Every time I go to Walmart, I get a bag and I'll be a hundred percent honest with you. I barely get it out of the parking lot before I'm done eating it. Oh, a hundred percent. That's the only problem with, when you buy beef jerky, if you find one that's good,
Speaker: Yes, you just spent $12 on a bag of beef jerky, but it doesn't make it to the car. Like, you know, Kevin and I walked to the store because it's only a round trip. It's 20 minutes, including a five minutes in the store, getting shit. And, you know, I got my usual, I got my drinks for the day, I picked up smokes and we grabbed cinnamon rolls and shit like that. And we're at the counter and Kevin's like, what's that? I said, beef jerky. He's like, looks good. It looks like Slim Jim.
Speaker: I don't know. This is better than Slim Jim's have their own taste. This has a different flavor, a different brand. And then they had the beef jerky sticks, like Slim Jim's, and then they had the bag of beef jerky. And I was, Slim Jim's are like, mostly oil. Yeah. They're like processed meat, man. It's like a hot dog. Oh yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. But.
Speaker: Amazing flavor. I love I do you could make a Slim Jim flavored barbecue sauce. I'd be in I'm not a big fan of Slim Jim's. I gotta be honest with you. I I'm not I'm not My mom and dad come I have to bring me up like a case And they don't last the week they're here I'm not I'm not catching what macho man's throwing
Speaker: Fuck you, I think they're awesome. Oh yeah, step into it. Shut up. Yeah. Hey, those commercials were the shit back in the day. They were everywhere. I'm not saying they were. When I was a child and I hadn't developed proper taste buds, I love Slim Jims. Do you remember the beef jerky that came in a chew can? Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, it was awesome. If I could find that shit now, I would buy that by the by the case. You still have it. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. I use all those things, man. And I would always put one. But if you're left, just like you do, I'd always put one in my lip and then I would grab a pinch to chew and eat because it was so good. That's the problem. You know, they weren't expensive. They're like two bucks.
Speaker: Mm hmm. No. Yeah. They were like a buck, I think, when we were growing up. I think it was like a buck. When we were growing up, they're like a buck. But the problem is. Well, back back when I was like 13, I used to ride my bike in town. And we'd stop by two duches, the movie, pick up movies at the library and shit like that. Right. Oh, yeah. I didn't even make it to the library, which is like four blocks away before I was out. Oh, Jack's Jack Links has it now.
Speaker: Really? Yeah, Jacqueline has it. Uh, carne seca mata ta ti ka jerky chew one pound thirty eight dollar or thirty dollars. For a pound? Yeah, so I get a big bag. That's a lot. Masha. Masha. Masha. Masha. Masha. Masha. Masha. Masha. Masha. Masha. Masha.
Speaker: Beef and salt. Chips. The beef jerky chips like potato chips. Ooh. They're called carnivore snacks. I ain't mad at that. You can get a box of Jax Link's original jerky chew. 72 containers, little, little things for 90 bucks on Amazon. Ouch. That's a lot. No fucking way.
Speaker: They have a Doritos, icy, sweet, chili, Jack's link beef, jerky flavor. Hey, I ain't mad at that. I'd be doing Bronco Billy's beef jerky, which is a shredded beef jerky. I don't see their name of that. The two can be sure. What was it called? Looking for. I don't see it because they're showing me everything. It's out now. They're not showing me.
Speaker: OG because it was it was Jack slinks Well, cuz there was like a there was a baseball card in the bottom of remember Yeah It looks like it was Jack slinks. I don't think it's I don't think it was jacqueline Jackson. That's what I'm saying. Jack links period in the toucan. I don't think that's I Don't see anything else
Speaker: King B jerky stuff is what it was called. Yeah, that's what it is. What's it called? King B jerky stuff. Right there. B as in like King B. Yeah, B the letter the letter goddamn B. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Yeah, that's definitely it. Yep.
Speaker: Uh, get it on Amazon and they had trading cards inside of it football ball and old trapper. I just put in nineties at the end of my Google search and it was the first thing I popped up. Yeah, that's good stuff. Jerky stuff. That was, that shit was awesome. I mean, it looked like.
Speaker: It looked like it had sawdust in it. That was good stuff. So I don't see it for sale anywhere. At least on my end. But I've had it since.
Speaker: I've lived here. I've bought it here before. Yeah, I think it's still out and about. I mean. I'm checking Amazon. How can Jack Link pops up first thing? Well, Jack Link is like the most popular.
Speaker: Brand of beef jerky is out there right now. I don't know about popular, but it's like the most commercialized or whatever. It's everywhere. You know, you know what I mean? Well, I found the jerky strips, the can be jerky strips, uh, which is the same flavor, but, uh, I can't buy it in Mexico. Of course not. Um,
Speaker: Yes somebody selling a bunch of cards You buy that even by somebody's got an Olin Ryan fucking can't be jerky stuff card There's a there's can on open
Speaker: from between 96 and 92 for $5 on eBay. I'm good. I'm out. Are you sure? I mean, we can each get one and try it on the show together. It could be a, it could be a stunt on the show as we die. Okay. Here we go. You can buy it, uh, directly from Phelps market.
Speaker: Uh, Oh, that's not character products anymore. Nevermind. Yeah. I don't think I make the product. That's weird. Cause I know I bought it here. Well, Jeff, you also live in Mexico and you guys are also like 30 years behind America. So they probably still do have a down there. Okay. Wait, I found it. Pop screen as it two bucks a can.
Speaker: back of twenty -four. There you go. Order. Enjoy. Oh, I can do that. Probably going to be twenty -five years old, but enjoy. Probably. I think it's actually his version. I already told you that. Yeah. It was the first thing I told you. I know. I'm just trying to find the king. Come on the show. I know I've seen it.
Speaker: coming to show. Glick, I found the kick bees jerky stuff. I'm about to eat it. I would have happened to show you die. Well, probably that's the problem. Ladies and gentlemen, Jeff had a good run and we're just gonna leave him dead on the screen until the end of the show. Where's Brian at when he needed him to queue up taps? Yeah, no shit. Anywho, I don't know. I'll search. I'll search over the next couple of weeks and see if I can't order.
Speaker: Yeah. Any man. So, you know, I wanted us to get, you know, we were starting to get away from like our, our habits that were good habits on the show and go back to our bad habits. So I was looking up
Speaker: different things today and I had already had some news articles saved for later on tonight. Plus I want to dive into that haunted house thing. Not, not the house is haunted. I will never forgive you Nicole Kidman and the others. Oh no, we're ghosts, but our house is haunted by other ghosts. Actually they're not ghosts. They're real people. We've been dead the whole time. We wait, where are the ghosts?
Speaker: I hate you, Nicole Kidman, but, um, like the haunted houses, like the, um, the spooktacular. Well, yeah. The, the, the Halloween only, they have it and you show up and you go to get scared. Yeah. Funhouse, if you will. Funhouse, scare houses, those types of haunted houses. I want to, I want to get into that, uh, tonight might kinda
Speaker: Tink around with that on Saturdays. I don't know. We might get into it on Wednesdays as well. I just don't want to beat it to death because it is a very long. Well, actually I found, I found there's, there's apparently only five types of people that go to these haunted house. There's the people that run through it as fast as possible. There's the, there. Was there the TikTok shows? Yeah, I saw it on TikTok. I don't have it.
Speaker: But the funny one, and I was like, that's fucking Chris. Where's the scare my wife, scare my wife. Do it scare where he's standing behind her going, get her. Uh, yeah, I, I am partially that I'm also that guy going, yep. Right there. Oh, you scared me. Yep. You know, like the boring, like the, the, the, I like to go to the haunted houses where.
Speaker: You know, they're not necessarily touching, but they, they interact with you. Right. Because, you know, I've been going to them for so long and some of them are so goddamn predictable. And I don't want to be that guy, but it's like, you're kind of making me be that guy. But like, I like the ones that are because they're still so much fun.
Speaker: Plus, like you said, I'm also, no, no, no, no. I'm still having fun with it. But I'm also the guy, like you said, behind, behind Nikki one or, or if they make me go first, like when I took the kids, when we went down the pigeon forge, we went through a Ripley's believe Ripley's haunted house or whatever. Ripley's believe it or not. Yeah. Potted house thing down there. And, uh, and it was just me, Austin and buggy that went through.
Speaker: And they, and we went through with this group and the whole group made me go first. They're like, they won't get up. Yeah. It was like, there was a husband and wife and a couple of their kids. And then there was another couple. And then there was me, buggy and Austin and everybody in the group was like, you're going first. Why? Cause you're the biggest one.
Speaker: you know, they're they're really not going to get me. I'm going to fall on you. Yeah. I was like, they're really not going to to hurt him. You know, like this isn't they're not real monsters. I don't know. Yeah. Like and if it if it is a real ghost, do I look like a **** ghostbuster to you? Do I have my food? But so they made me go first. But as I was going around the corners, I was like,
Speaker: me down. So, they wouldn't let wait and let me come by. And then, she's in between me and Austin. She's got a hold of the back of my shirt and she's like, I'm like, Alexa. I'm like, you're killing me. I'm gonna be the real ghost in here.
Speaker: So it's just like, yeah, you're playing to make me go first really didn't work out because they see me coming and I see them. So they just waited to get you guys anyway. Exactly. Yeah. Don't make me go first and on it out. It's like, but I mean, I don't know which guy I would be. I haven't been to one since I'm like crying in the corner, wetting himself. Probably. No, I, I
Speaker: I would be that guy that's like, okay, what are we doing here? Oh, oh, you scared me because you know, it's coming because you're in a haunted house. It's supposed to scare you. But the difference is if we went to a real, like the haunted hotels that you and I talk, Oh, I'm going to be pissing myself the entire time. Like every little song. What the fuck was that?
Speaker: We got to go to me. I rolled over. Fuck you. That was a ghost. Fuck you. We're leaving. He's super excited the whole time. Did you hear that? Let's go investigate it. Come on. Let's go. It's the furnace. No, that wasn't a furnace. I know what a furnace sounds like. That was not a furnace. Come on, Jeff. Let's go. We got to investigate that noise. Fuck you. I'll be in the car. Concha. You go first. I saw this movie. No.
Speaker: a ghost serial killer monster uh just so you know they're making me go first but uh i'm not really that scared you should really get them first yeah no i but no i i you know i still i
Speaker: You like to see the creativity they get into as well. I love going to them. I love, yeah, the creativity of the actors. And like I said, anymore, there's a lot of them that you go to. And some of the ones that you wouldn't expect it, like the little jail up here, they're very interactive. Like it's a, they create a, like we went for Valentine's day, they open it up. So they're not just doing the jail here in town for,
Speaker: I'm getting barbecue sauce too. Just the Halloween season. Like they did it for Valentine's day. They turned out they did a haunted house for Valentine's day. Uh, right. They did one for Easter and stuff like that. So, but when you go through, it's not a very big, you know, it's not a very big haunted house and it doesn't take long to go through. But as you go through, through each section, it's like a different,
Speaker: Like there was one main storyline. There were vampires or whatever for for Valentine's Day. But as you go through each section, it's a different story. And and the whole thing was like a like a almost like being in a movie because you go in and you had like this vampire hunter team that went into the jail to kill the vampires and they got separated. Then you find out that they were that they were husband and wife and the husband is like a murder mystery kind of thing.
Speaker: yeah yeah kind of sorted but you know you're not solving anything you're just going through and following and then you're like coming yeah yeah you come across this like quote unquote super hot vampire and she was like you know telling her doing her lines it was like
Speaker: through here, but never mind my pets and like had a couple guys that were in chains in the jail cells that were human, but they were her quote unquote toys. I'll be your toy. That actually, that actually brings up an interesting conversation. Sorry, pet or toy, whatever you want to call me. Would you like to have my question? When you, when you, you saw the Adam Sandler murder mystery.
Speaker: movie, right? Yeah, there was there was two of those. And of course, you've seen that what's that glass onion movie? I haven't seen it's actually really good. Would you ever
Speaker: go to one of those, uh, was it like, it's like dinner theater where you go, you have a meal and then somebody dies and you have to figure it out. Would you do that? Uh, actually, I did do something like that. Um, down in Charleston when the kids, his mom and I were still together, there was, uh, it was like, uh,
Speaker: It wasn't like you see in the movies, like the movie Clue where you go to the big mansion and everything. I want to do something like that. This was kind of like a play, but there was audience participation and then you had to
Speaker: Like the audience got to help solve the crime and then they gave you sheets. And it was almost like playing Clue. You had to write on your sheet as the play went along or as it went along. But then you got to participate. And of course we went out and I was in my weird phase where I thought wearing a fedora was cool.
Speaker: So automatically as we walked in I was singled out, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm not this I'm not a small guy by no means and then I got a fucking fedora on and it's like a murder mystery. So I actually Yeah, I actually participated way more than I ever would have wanted to because I was still in that work I was so socially awkward and my social anxiety at that time was so through the roof and
Speaker: So, I was sitting there just slamming beers. I'm just like, I'm wrong. I'm fine. Alright, I'm ready to just encourage that as it were. Yeah. But uh no, it was really cool. I I would absolutely do one of those like murder mysteries in the mansion where you know, it's a clue kind of thing. I go out and the butt was dead and some chick screams. 100 % How **** cool would that be? Especially if you didn't know what was going to happen. That's because Jeff is a huge Hello Kitty fan.
Speaker: and then I got the other one. Where's your other one Jeff? Where's your swastika and Confederate flag one? I don't have a swastika. **** you. I don't have a swastika one. I do have a Confederate flag one. It was not made for me. It was made for a client. How
Speaker: Good and you? Good. No, but I think that would be really cool. Like, especially if you didn't know it was going to happen. Like, let's say Nikki comes home and she's like, hey, we're going to dinner at this, at Bob's house. And then Bob, you know, halfway through dinner, Bob died.
Speaker: And then you got to figure out who killed it. Find a new pilot and bus driver. Yeah. Or driver in general. Helicopter pilot, airplane pilot, space shuttle pilot. Bob can't die. You are not driving. This is brother Robert. This is brother Robert. This is brother Bob. What was that show? Wings?
Speaker: This is my brother Darryl, my other brother Darryl. What was that? Was that wings? I don't know what that was. I thought it was from a way older show. They actually did do that down in Charleston on one of the riverboats they had. They would do a murder mystery dinner thing on the boats. How many people? I don't know. I never went. A million.
Speaker: Wouldn't want I wouldn't want a bunch of people. I'm talking like ten people tops Well, that's that's practical jokers It's on Roku channel, I have not watched it yet there was one of the punishments I think it was the hell was his name a Little weaselly looking dude a little ferret looking one Die
Speaker: Didn't one of them die? No. Joe quit the show. Oh. Joe Gatto quit the show. As you verbally bash him. He died. No, you're the one that said he died. James Murray.
Speaker: James Murray, he's a little ferret looking guy on the show. Well, they, he lost one time and the punishments was he had to be the victim in one of those murder mysteries. Well, he was just in like a phone. Rob Riggle was a guest on the show. So Rob Riggle comes in as the goddamn inspector. He's got him like been over the bar that he's got him laid out. They kept moving the body. Giving him a wedgie and that also brings up another question and escape room.
Speaker: I would like to do an escape room, but here's the thing. I don't think anybody else would like to be in an escape room with me. I do, wouldn't you? Because I am uber competitive, as you know. Right. And, you know, I also like, just naturally, I try to be the leader. I get aggravated, as you know, easily.
Speaker: Yeah, so I don't I would love to do it. I just Yeah Well, we got you lying over there me truth and over here so I would never burn the tires off of a car Spoiler alert at least I can be honest. I know my faults No, but like Now the only issue was doing a
Speaker: escape room as I've seen the movie escape room. I don't know if you saw that movie. It's got Debra and wall in it. No, I don't think so. The chests come from True Blood. They all die. Spoiler alert, but it's designed to kill them. But like a regular, it would have to be
Speaker: Uh, what is it? Burke Chrysler just talked about, Hey, he did an escape room with his daughters for their birthday. I would totally do it. I think it'd be fun. No, I think that'd be awesome. I'd be totally down. And, and, you know, like I said,
Speaker: being in a live version of Clue. I'm 100 % in. I mean, I'm probably I'm I'm going to scream the whole time because Butler did it. It was Kim Curry the whole time. Wasn't there an episode? Yeah, there was the episode of of of Psych where they did the and it had the dude from
Speaker: the hell was that fucking band from the 80s? Then he wound up making several up here. Kurt, Kurt something. Oh, I know who you talk about. No one's a bad from the images, Kurt Cameron.
Speaker: Okay, first and foremost Kirk Cameron was in like family ties or some side not family ties the other one The other one that was basically crap though. The one with no the one that one that Kirk Cameron was way better than family ties. I had Fuck that Canadian dude in it Alan something or another I don't think that yeah Yeah No, but oh
Speaker: The running theme in Psych is always talking about how badass Al Kilmer is. 100 clues was the episode. Wasn't the escape room episode? No, it was the murder mystery where the guy... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Steve Valentine was in it and he played Billy Lips. He was like, he was like the old rock singer Kurt Smith. Right. He, Kurt Smith was in tears for fears. That's the band that I was thinking. Yeah. He was the lead singer. Then he was like, cause he got mauled by a panther or something.
Speaker: and Shawn and Gus are like not Kurt Smith that he was still alive at the end and he had like a running cameo appearances and like he had a running standing character as himself in the show I think he sang at Jules and Shawn's wedding no no because Jules and Shawn's wedding took place on a pier yeah I think Kurt Smith showed up because it would just randomly pop up in episodes and then oh yeah yeah
Speaker: Yeah. The. However, my favorite episode is when they did the true blood knockoff when there was a vampire episode. Oh, God. I showed up as black. So you wouldn't hang out with those two fuckers. Oh, I mean, I'd be in the blueberry in the back going, where are we going today, boys? Oh, yeah, I mean, shit on it.
Speaker: Like if I could pick four best friends, I mean, obviously you would be involved. It'd be a, it'd be six of us. But if I could pick four best friends, four guys from TV. Yep. That would be, that would be my four right there. Just to spend every day hanging out. Of course I would have to ditch you and get a black friend just so it was even. Unless you can get really tan.
Speaker: You gotta say things like this is whack. This is my terrible racist stereotypical black friend. Uh uh where I saw I think it's on HBO the the I think it's the third
Speaker: psych movie is on HBO right now. It was on Peacock. Is it really? Yeah, dude. When they they bought the this when Sean moved the psych office to that in Chinatown, it was like it literally looked like the place where the where dude bought gizmo.
Speaker: Yeah, there's This is the return of Gus Gus's revenge I can't remember his fault But I suppose I think it's on HBO
Speaker: uh so they're saying potentially psych four could be released it's on peacock there because peacock got the peacock is nbc usa and all that stuff so peacock has the rights um to psych uh but they're saying psych four the movie could premiere on peacock sometime between 2024 and 2025 however there's not how are they going to do it how are they going to you can't do it without lassner what's wrong with lassner he's in a fucking wheelchair
Speaker: He's been in every other movie. He had a stroke in real life. Yeah. Any in a wheelchair though now? No, remember. The last movie, the last movie, you only see him when Jules calls him. No, that was the first movie. Was it? In the last one, he was in the wheelchair, but you remember because he was still with his chick that went to jail and everything. Buffy, the original Buffy. Yeah.
Speaker: he made it a point to walk and he walked to her at the end. Oh yeah. He had a, he had a stroke in real life. That's why he wasn't in the first movie and you only seen him on the phone because he had a straight. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I'm so glad they replaced the, the person that was originally supposed to play jewels. Well, I don't think he was really supposed to play jewels. If you remember the first episode,
Speaker: Yeah, first time Shawn meets lacer the woman that played lacer's partner Well, yeah, yeah, that wasn't fan of her actor. I'm not fan of the actors. Yeah, they replaced her because Her and she was fired because her and lacer were well, no, she was she was transferred Because her and lacer were having a relationship Yeah, I'm trying figured it out within like 30 seconds. Mm -hmm lacer is like not the most subtle character on the planet
Speaker: I like the guy. I like the dude that plays dad. There's not a real character. There's not a character on that show I didn't like. No, I was going to say no. And all the, all the eighties, like the eighties, like pop icons that they would get that would go. I mean, just like.
Speaker: the most random fucking characters, but not only that, these guys would throw out references. The only people our age would get like, if I play, if I showed Kevin, I sat down and was like, we're going to watch like beginning yet. I'd have to explain 400 times an episode. That is referenced to that. And that is represented there. Oh, the kids watch psych with me. Cash likes watching psych psych with me, but he just watches it. He just likes it. He just enjoys it.
Speaker: He doesn't ask me it because he doesn't he doesn't get the references. So he's not gonna ask me. What is that? You know Kevin like I don't get it. I mean, I think like Like the whole blackula thing. I think he asked me that and I was like, you know And I and I told him why he was dressed like that Right. He was okay. And then he laughed and he was like I get it makes sense But like, you know
Speaker: Kevin's actually seen almost 90 % of true blood. So I think we were watching it. Oh, dude, my kids literally, they have HBO in their room. That is not kid friendly in any way. It's not, but Kevin will literally walk into a room. Obviously the sex scenes and stuff like that. We're like, okay, you know, because when we,
Speaker: first started watching it, we had one TV in one bedroom and Kevin was younger. So it's like, you know, he was asleep or something. But if, if I walked in the room and I was like, sorry, he'd be like, ha ha. Nice. Hey, picker would.
Speaker: Yeah, that's one of the reasons it's taken me and I forever in a day to get through true blood is because, you know, I mean, Austin's 18, but still, I don't want to watch it. You watch with, with your girl kid, like, Oh, Eric's getting naked. Any of your kids, period.
Speaker: My kids are usually watching. Like if I was watching at the living room, the kids are in and out of the room. It's not like they sit down and watch. I mean, it's not like I'm like, sit down kids. We're going to watch True Blood today. No, it's not like that. It's usually the walk in the room. They just barged in. My kids can't sit still. Like last night, I woke up last night. Okay.
Speaker: You know how you have a fear of heights. Yeah. Well, last night I had this weird dream that I somehow got stuck on the lead, like the edge of a roof that was like 10 stories up. And every time I would move, I would slowly slide toward the edge, woke me up. I was in a cold sweat. I fucking freaked me the fuck out. Carried the shit out of me.
Speaker: And I woke up, it was like one o 'clock in the morning. And so I sat up till like three and watched Shameless. Like I was really in my sleep getting vertigo. It'd be like that sometimes. I made a death notebook.
Speaker: What do you know about that? Dude, he loves the movie. Oh, I've never seen the movie, but I remember watching the actual anime. I was back when we were in high school. We actually, the movie, the one that plays the whatever he is, is voiced by a little bit of both. Nice. Well, we need to take a break.
Speaker: before we go to break after yesterday working basically 19 hours. I really wish I would have had my friend W in my back pocket.
Speaker: to keep me going because my ass was whooped, ladies and gentlemen. And I could have used that extra pick me up. And not only that, but I knew that I could have dragged me some, some dummy while I was working, while I was working security in my, and I still would have been focused and I wouldn't have had to worry about jitters or a crash. Because unlike some of those overpriced ridiculously gross
Speaker: energy drinks that are on the market. Dubby energy. Not going to leave you with a crash. Not going to make you jitter and certainly not going to be gross because they've got all kinds of really good flavors. You're bound to find one that you're going to like. One of my personal favorites that I found out there's a double sludge. So the granny, it's a, it's a green grant. What is it? Granny Smith, Apple green apples, something like that. The green apple and secret sauce. Hmm.
Speaker: I don't know what the secret sauce is, but it's tasty. But if you guys are ready to join the cause and wage war on big energy, go ahead and head to w .gg. Place your order. Use our promo code words are hard. Get that discount before you check out and thank us later.
Speaker: like I said, you're bound to find your favorite flavor, not only that, but they got all kinds of really cool merch on this, on the, on the, at the website as well. So you can get your shirts and shirts and stickers. And not only that, but they've got shakers and tumblers and, and cups and, and all kinds of fun stuff. Hats, all that jazz. Again, go to w .gd. Before check out, use our promo code words are hard. Save you a little money with that being said, we're going to take ourselves a real quick. Oh, before we take a quick break,
Speaker: Christ. Gotta play the video, sir. Well, you should have already had it. Yeah.
Speaker: I had it ready to go over there talking shit. I had it ready to go. You should have hit it as soon as I did my last call to action. That call to action. Go to use promo code as soon as I'm done to hit it. Oh, man. What professionals are on a voiceover for it. I need to work on a voiceover. I'm working on it. I think with the music behind it, the voice server would throw it off. You just lower the music volume.
Speaker: Right there at the end, there'll be energy. Go to war of big energy. I don't know. I can play around with something. I have the video. Yeah. I can play around with something. We can play around with something. I'll give you something to play around with. I'll give you a link to the app news. I don't need, I have stuff that I can use.
Speaker: I was going to say I I've been editing and posting and doing all the stuff for the show for two over two years now. I have all the apps and stuff that I need. Trust me. But as I was saying, you me, there's no fucking excuse for you. No, you fucking waterhead.
Speaker: We're going to take a real quick break when we come back. We're going to dive into some news and then we're going to save the, well, we'll see where we get to after the news. Maybe we'll save the haunted houses for the end of the shoe. So for the end of the show, I don't know. We'll see what happens. Nothing's a guarantee around here, but we are going to dive into some news because
Speaker: I got some news stories for you tonight. We'll be back here in just a few minutes. Enjoy a little bit of, and I done forgot the name of this goddamn band, but that's their cover of Darius Rucker's Wagon Wheel. I love this song and we'll be right back.
Speaker: I make it down the coast in seventeen hours Bigger me a bouquet of dogwood flowers And I'm a -hopin' for Riley I can see my baby tonight So ride me mama like a wagon
Speaker: I pulled up in the wind when I was born to be a fiddler and an old -time string man My baby plays the guitar, I pick a banjo now All my country winners keep on getting it down Lost my mind and playin' poker so I had to leave town But I ain't no turning back to living that old life no more
Speaker: He's a hit and whiz from the Cumberland Gap to Johnson City, Tennessee I gotta get a move on, be a father's son I hear my baby calling my name and I know that she's the only one And if I die in Raleigh, at least I will die free
Speaker: you
Speaker: I do love that song. That is a good song. I didn't look. Like I said, they've been sitting on my desk for two weeks. I just move them when I do the show and then they get moved back. I don't know how the fuck this was on your desk. I've never loved it. I don't even know what the fuck it is.
Speaker: It must have been that chick that was here Wednesday. I correct that statement from earlier in the show. A little reach around there. There's a reason I drink. What? Apple soap all far from the tree. What the hell has that got to do with anything?
Speaker: I'm not thinking I don't have an attitude. Sometimes this is. Well, sometimes talking to you is like talking to my kids. It's like talking to a wall. Hi, Nikki. These are Jeff said hi.
Speaker: She says, hmm. Welcome back to not physical, not since everybody, he's Jeff. I'm like, maybe not already. Follow the Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, take time coming out with us live Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, seven ish, seven 30 ish, whenever the fuck we start to show or you're following us, you'll get the notifications.
Speaker: and if we don't, if you can't catch us live or you miss us live, you can listen anytime on Zincaster and Spotify, everywhere you listen to podcasts, all the nonsensical nonsense podcasts. Go ahead and give us a follow. Give us a listen. Give us a share if you're being so kind. We greatly appreciate it. And you. Huh? Let's talk about buttered sausage. Talk about buttered sausage, where it comes from, what it does. Why is it doing what it's doing? Get it out of my face. What about buttered sausage?
Speaker: That's not your jam. It's not your thing. You don't like it. It's not my jam. I don't buy jam. I buy honey and I kiss it on the lips. But I branded that issue on YouTube with people that I follow. If I don't go and click turn the notifications on, that's why like when before random Rick, like everybody else had this imaginary problem with me.
Speaker: at first I wasn't getting notifications about his live, but I was getting stuff when he would post videos and I didn't go in there and specifically click notifications for everything. Um, so I had to actually, but you're the only person I, yeah, you have to actually turn on. Sorry. I was changing my cloud. No, I assumed. Yeah. You actually have to,
Speaker: might be something that you might actually have to turn on. I honestly, I don't know. Have you said the aquarium? I did this morning. Probably could be them for the night if you wanted. I did this morning when we got out. Uh, any who, speaking of other shows, nothing. I tried to, but that fat fucking goldfish kept stealing his goddamn pellets. I'm going to put a net around it and that damn
Speaker: Suckerfish has been doing what he normally does, so he's not starving. Speaking of other shows, not Ron Sensical, Ron Sens Reviews. What? He's like a wish. What is worse than wish? Doesn't get much worse than wish. He's like a wish version of nonsensical nonsense.
Speaker: Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame Blame
Speaker: But anywho, that were in Waldorf. Well, they sound like fucking Nazis. And they're based on the characters from. What's that? Akron. Pretty places. OK. Based on those characters.
Speaker: shows that you might actually enjoy. I'm not saying you wouldn't enjoy that show. If you want to check that one out, you could, but shows that we like that you might enjoy. Shout out our friends before we get into the news here. Like Late Night Parents hosted by Ted Hicks. We got Sunday Night Smoke hosted by the one and only Smoke himself. The Mental Health Hour hosted by Tim and Gemma.
Speaker: Steve Jarvis podcast I was calling it the project Steven if you if you hear this It should totally be the Jarvis project. That's cool The Jarvis podcast is cool too, but you should totally change it to this the Jarvis project Because then you're gonna get like all the comic book nerds are gonna be like Jarvis Tony Stark man Jarvis. Oh
Speaker: What is what is vision doing these days? Anyways, but I cast Coffee and good morning and coffee with fireman rich. I still don't know what the hell that damn shows called I just I just hit play when it pops up on YouTube because I play Mr. B
Speaker: with the B side doing his thing. Helen's mixed tape. She's out there playing music for everybody, doing her thing. And I always feel like I'm forgetting somebody. I was going to say, don't we have some decent band?
Speaker: Oh, I'm forgetting a lot of people. My bad guys, my bad guys. I mean, I apologize. Lazy ass podcast hosted by, hosted by dizzy scumbag lounge featuring K Stucky and 40 phones. And the artist formerly known as co -host of nonsense. Well, nonsense podcast now known as the host of belt Kings fantasy football and
Speaker: He does do a music show, but he doesn't have a name for it yet. Tony D. You can check him out Sundays and stuff. He'll actually, I think he'll be live tomorrow morning. Um, and coming soon, if we can ever figure out the dates, check this out, Jeffrey, coming soon. If we can ever figure out when we can record per our schedules, unsportsmanlike conduct with click and Rick. Nice. You're going to do a NFL college.
Speaker: and fantasy football show. We're shooting for Friday nights, possibly Saturday afternoons, but I don't really want to do double duties. That's kind of like back to back. I would literally probably wrap that up and roll right into this one. And I would love to do it on Fridays. That way we can, we can recap the Thursday night game, uh, and then roll into
Speaker: college football before Saturday and hit up, you know, the Sunday games and fantasy football before Sunday and stuff like that. So that's probably going to be coming to you Fridays here. Hopefully maybe next week, maybe next week. And we're not going to have a show next Saturday. Well, I won't be here. I mean, you're more than welcome to do the show if you want. That's cute. Right.
Speaker: Jelly rolls next Saturday, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I won't be here next time. So there probably won't be a show next Saturday unless Jeff wants to invite Tony on and Tony might be available. I mean, he did two shows last night back to back. So he's got free time apparently. Yeah. Uh, yeah, probably not. I'll probably take the weekend though. But, um,
Speaker: but yeah, I think I got everybody now. I think I got everybody now. There's so many people that I want to shout out that we tried to shout out and I understand. I was thinking about that today when I was doing, I was posting shows cause obviously I was working last night. So I didn't get to do it last night. Like I normally would do on a Friday night. And I was having my notebook out cause I jot down, you know, when we,
Speaker: what time the ads start and when they end, when we do it right before we go to break. And then I also jot down little notes for the description and stuff, a little behind the scenes for you guys. I jot down little notes and stuff. And as I'm jot down those notes, I was like, you know what? I should take a piece of paper and shot down all those shows that we, that we shout out, that we, you know, we want to shout out and just like stick it on the wall in front of me. Right. So that I, so I can just kind of look up at it and make sure I got everybody to just read it down the list.
Speaker: Oh, and then at the bottom of the list, not Ron, sensical, Ron sense reviews. Oh, taking shots, taking shots. Shots fired. Taking shots like your mom did the night you were conceived. What? Do we have anything for you to take shots?
Speaker: I think the liquor store is closed too. You said shots and she's like, oh, she was out. She was out. Literally. She's like, I don't want to do shots. I mean, go to Walmart and get stuff. It's not as strong as the liquor store. I took my bra off. I mean, I'm starting to clean the living room. Throw one of my hoodies on. No. Just door dash some liquor.
Speaker: You might be able to You can you can absolutely door dash some beat boxes Or balls Yeah, look on door dash and see what you can get I thought we had
Speaker: He's like, I'm in the mood to do shots. No shit. Yeah, that's right. Shots fired. Nice. I knew you were up to something. You were being way too quiet. Let's let's let's roll into some news. I told you guys we were going to do some news. First and foremost, Jeffrey. Yeah. Wednesday night.
Speaker: You talked about the United States Air Force losing a jet, a fighter jet, mind you, just lost. I'm assuming it's still lost. I haven't seen or heard anything more about it, but I'm assuming it's still lost. Israel said, hold our beer. Oh, shit. Jerusalem.
Speaker: Authorities are trying to figure out how a heavily armored tank was stolen from a military training zone after finding said tank at a junkyard. At least they found it. But bro, this fucking tank will find them and kill them. Yo.
Speaker: Okay. Well, here's the thing. When it comes to military vehicles, it's not like there's key. Dude, this is basically ready to start. If you know what you're doing, the Israel or Israeli Markaba to tank disappeared from the trailer. Look it up. Yeah. Look this fucking up. This is not, this is not a small tank. This is news flash. I'm no tank expert.
Speaker: but every time I've seen tanks, they're not very fast. Uh, believe it or not, they are actually kind of quick. Uh, they can do like 70. They're not as fast as a goddamn jet. And they kind of stand out like a sore thumb. If you're driving a stolen tank down the road, what the hell? How many of these are my drinks tonight?
Speaker: Agreed. There's a tank drive by your window. Susan, the tank just drove by. Oh, thank you. Oh, Billy. How many, how many club sodas have you had today? I don't know why we just went to the fifties, but I was going to say, why are you drinking club soda? But, uh, yeah, bear with me two seconds here. Meanwhile, the guy who pulled the tank by any means.
Speaker: Yeah. Meanwhile, the guy that drove the tank was Christopher Walken. As he drove by, he said, what hair? She coppers. You're never going to take me out. See, you're talking to my friend. See, I'll stop you in a space for the showering. Can I remove that? Yes. No, that should just, uh, that just cracked me up. So, um,
Speaker: This police, uh, the police did say that they, um, they have arrested two suspects in connection with the ballsy move, man. Ballsy move. I, you know, I gotta give props to the, to the guys who stole it. That's a ballsy move. Oh, you just won't walk up on a military training site and just drive off. And that's the other thing.
Speaker: Was nobody around from the military and noticed a tank just driving down? Yeah, but you gotta remember at a military base, there's multiple tanks there and they're constantly being moved around. Nobody, like it's not something out of the ordinary. Now, if it was like, you know, a 1950s Jeep, you'd be like, Hey, where are you going?
Speaker: Yeah, but we are driving a tank off the property that doesn't raise some kind of red flag or a big bright flashing light that says something's not right here. That tank should not be leaving the property. Again, I'm not a military guy. I don't know. I'm just assuming that there'd be better security on a military base or a training facility or something like that.
Speaker: Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I maybe I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Maybe because I know on Grand Theft Auto, I can't go on the military base without everybody in their fucking mama shooting at me. Oh, 100 percent. 100 percent. You go to the gate. They're shooting at me. Yeah. Yeah, you have six stars right away. By the way, I do have it. Hey, you're talking to my guy all wrong. It's wrong tone. Do it again. I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron.
Speaker: He does kind of sound like a 50s gangster. You really think about it. He really does. Sound effective. With what he says, hey, he's talking to a guy on rock. A little bit of a component in that. I get it. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Stealing a tank is not that difficult, considering they don't have keys.
Speaker: If you know the startup sequence, you can start for getting it off base, kind of impressive getting it down the road, but obviously noticeable. And as you said, that's one of those things. It's like, uh, balls for days. That's the kind of guy that, that's the kind of guy that like, he carries his balls in a dump truck.
Speaker: I don't know, man. Like I said, I mean, well, how many beers before I convince you we should steal a tank? Honestly, I mean, apparently it's really easy to do. So I'm just going to do it sober. Apparently you can just walk on the base, jump in the tank and just drive off with it. Nobody bats an eye.
Speaker: Well, you wait. So you say these guys weren't military personnel. It doesn't say that they were. I'm assuming they have to be because a military base is not something you just walk on.
Speaker: Yeah, it doesn't. Well, it was, it was sold from a training facility. I mean, I don't, again, I'm, I'm going in. So, I mean, I don't know, but I would assume a training facility is still part of the base or somehow affiliated connected to really not really a training facility would be basically, it's just a giant open field. There's no, no fence, no gate kind of even get into, but then again, I say.
Speaker: you have a multi -million. I don't know. I don't know how much a fucking tank costs. What $3 billion. I don't know. I'm just seeing what sticks, but you got a multi -billion dollar piece of military equipment. You would think you would have some form of security around it. Agreed. Okay. I'm trying to find out the cost.
Speaker: 65. This this tank weighs 65 ton. Okay. So the same same tank, but the fourth gen 3 .5 million. Okay. But again, okay. So they got onto a training facility because it's not secured property. But nobody notices a 65 ton.
Speaker: Tank driving down the road. Is it at night? Doesn't say. I would assume probably at night, they were probably three sheets to the wind and being that it's these training facilities are usually out in the fucking nowhere because they do blow shit up there. They probably got a couple miles down the road without being seen.
Speaker: But it ended up with a, yeah, I'm just, I mean, I'm just saying, there's just a lot of, there's a lot of help for that. Well, and it's a pain. We don't necessarily have to drive it on the road, Chris. Let's be honest. Well, yeah. Remember that song for the 90s, remember that song for the 90s, things that make you go, hmm. Yeah. TV show. Yes. No, but. God damn soul. But that too. But yeah, I mean, it is.
Speaker: It's a tank. You don't have to drive it on the road. There was a movie about that. I said a fucking song. And he said a movie about that. Where a dad and son drove a tank. Like the dad owned the tank. And they just took off down the fucking road. I think it was called a tank. There's a real life thing where a guy built a tank.
Speaker: Drove it out of a bulldozer. Yeah, awesome Yeah, I remember that Thanks God damn it It feels like a Sherman tank
Speaker: Well, and who? Yeah, go ahead. And there you go. Before you go on a fucking rant. OK, great. So everybody go look up tank 84. Excellent movie by the way. Next story.
Speaker: Wow me, sir. Well, before we get into some little bit more. Serious ones. We've we've had the discussion on this show and had the conversation about these. Apple sheep, if you will. Yes. Oh, so you heard about the Apple story.
Speaker: Maybe we're on the right one. Maybe we're not, you know, these goddamn people that believe so much in a, in a product that will sell you a $10 ,000 phone. That's still six years behind, um, uh, a Samsung seven. That was 13. That's 13 years old. Um, this goofy bitch up in Michigan had to be rescued.
Speaker: What do you think she got rescued from, Jeffrey? Well, since we're talking about the Apple, I'm assuming from the Apple store. No, no, no. She had to be rescued from an outhouse toilet after climbing in to retrieve her Apple watch. She didn't fall in. How much is the Apple watch? How much is the Apple watch, honestly? If it's more than 50 cents, it's too much. Agreed.
Speaker: But I'm assuming if you're, if you're an Apple freak, you get the insurance. It's covered. Let it sit in the shit. Uh, Bagley township in, uh, up in Michigan, a, uh, woman was rescued from an outhouse toilet after she climbed into return, retrieve her Apple watch and became trapped.
Speaker: The woman was not given. I would like also something. Can I remain anonymous please? Yeah, for obvious reasons lowered herself inside the toilet after dropping the watch at the Department of Natural Resources boat launch. So this is this is like basically we're just going to dig a hole in the ground and
Speaker: put a box around it. And that's where people can piss and agree. And then we'll come through every, every once in a great while with a, with a tanker truck and suck it out. So, you know, it was fucking disgusting down there. Oh, yeah. First responders recalled when the, uh, when the woman was heard yelling for help, the toilet was removed.
Speaker: And a strap was used to haul the woman out. If you lose an item in an outhouse toilet, do not attempt to venture inside the contaminated area. Serious injury may occur. State, state police said in a release. The state police did not say if the woman was injured or if the watch was recovered. Fuck that dude. You know, there's no, so I was watching.
Speaker: The show was shameless the other day, and to get away from the cops, but one of the main characters jumps into a porta potty and goes underneath the level of shit, which is basically what this woman did. And I thought to myself, fucking jail ain't that bad. It's like, no way in hell I would do that. I don't care. The only way I would do that is I'd drop my billion dollar bill.
Speaker: you know somebody's like a billion dollars i'm going in head first but an apple watch what are they a couple hundred bucks 500 bucks yeah i mean i have no idea um i don't know i wouldn't buy one to save my life hey baby we literally have google hey baby
Speaker: Well, she just bought a watch. She bought a, she bought a Samsung. Okay. What'd she pay for it? No, but it's like, I don't care what it costs. I'm not even, it's not worth it, dude. Um, you don't have to give him the exact cost, but roughly how much was your watch? Your, your, uh, Samsung watch thing, ballpark, ballpark figure. Four. So I right around 400. Okay. We're just running.
Speaker: Once again, now, Nikki, did you get, did you get the insurance? I think I'm not sure. I think so. Okay. But so lost that damage covered. Correct. Yes. Okay. Watch me in the watch. Cause I just dropped into the fucking porta potty or fucking. It gave us an excuse to make fun of the apple sheep.
Speaker: She laid the up in Michigan earlier this week, was rescued out of an outhouse at a boat launch, uh, launching dock or a boat dock because she dropped her Apple watch. And what'd she do? Jumped down into the outhouse, down into the shit and stuff. Basically the same thing, the equivalent of a urinal. Yeah. Or another your Porto John. Yeah. Uh, jumped down in there and had to be rescued to get her Apple watch that they did not even say if she got back or not. I'm sure she did. Cause I'm sure that's firstly she went after.
Speaker: about how much an Apple watch was. And I figured if yours was around 400, then an Apple watch is probably around $800 or $900. I think there are five or six. Because? It just depends. Mine is the newest one or not. My old one was a three. I skipped over the four. And I can't remember if this one's, I think this one's a six. That goddamn cricket. I moved shoe rack. I moved shoes. I don't know where it's at.
Speaker: sit in the house or obviously it's in the house. I think you're lizard. It's outside barking you. Okay. So they're on, um, I watch nine. So, I mean, just the apple watch. Just the apple watch ultra GPS and sell it, sell it a little cellular.
Speaker: It's $750 at Best Buy. They don't even give you the price for AT &T. They just tell you $15 a month for three years. No, but like I said, okay. So, but if you're going to spend that kind of money on a, let's be honest, useless product, because that's what your phone does. Everything your watch does, your phone does, if I'm not mistaken.
Speaker: Yeah. So, so if you're spending call 800 bucks, if you're spending 800 plus on an item, you would automatically get the insurance because unless you're a fucking idiot, I have no idea what smartwatches do. I really don't understand the point of them. I don't need it because everything they do, I can do on my phone. My very first smartwatch I bought was a Michael Corks. It wasn't she fancy.
Speaker: It wasn't on my AT &T plan. I could not answer phone calls. I did not, like, I got my text messages and I could reply, but there was a lot I couldn't do unless my phone was in my pocket because it was connected to Bluetooth. This, if I happen to leave my phone at home because my watch is on my plan,
Speaker: I can make phone calls, I can take phone calls, I get all my messages, I get... Do you have earbuds to take a phone call or is there a mic and speaker built into it? No, there's a mic and speaker built into this. Yeah, it's like Michael Knight. Call me. I want one now so I can be like fucking James Bond. Just James Bond. Michael Knight, dude. That's a Knight Rider shit. I can be a fucking Power Ranger. I mean, you can call me bitch. I'm gonna call you a bitch.
Speaker: Yeah. Once again, my phone is ringing and my phone is ringing but. Hello, hello. What? And it's not even that loud. I don't have the volume up. Well, that's pretty cool. Yeah. They're not spending $800 on a fucking wall. I want one just to be like, yeah, I'm on my phone and watch talking. You're going to run around going.
Speaker: Captain's Log.
Speaker: You know what they found in Captain Kirk's bathroom? A captain's vlog. Don't laugh at him. Kinda had to. Don't laugh at him. Don't encourage him. That was too easy. That was an easy one. No, but I, okay. But, and now I get the whole, your hands are wet thing, but. The only downfall though, for these watches is they are very,
Speaker: Well, no, no, no. The galaxy, we're Samsung people, first and foremost. Okay. The Samsung, they're very feminine looking. Yeah, they do. You know, I got them. They come in different. Yeah, but it wouldn't, like we found, they're all in a circle. I did not go with the six minus the five. They're all in a circle. No, they're square.
Speaker: Yeah, we have Samsung numb nuts. We're talking about Samsung, right? I'm assuming the Samsung has a square one too. No, Samsung's are all round. Apple's are square. That's how you can. I was going to say, because the brand that I use is round as well. I want to get one that's a triangle. You know how you do it, Chris? It's simply go buy one and you take your driver.
Speaker: It measures stress, it measures my heartbeat, it measures my O2. Speaking of steps, Damon had just yesterday alone during he got to work yesterday at like seven o 'clock and started doing all that running around for the challenge last night at like 10 o 'clock.
Speaker: I think he said something like 300 ,000 steps, but the equivalent 10 miles is what he did yesterday. It tracks my sleep. It does ECGs heart rate. Yeah. My watch is going to try. Okay. It does all that stuff. Do you actually monitor that stuff from day to day? I monitor my sleep because
Speaker: So legit, when I wear it to bed, it will legit tell you light sleep, REM sleep, awake. Okay. And I do monitor that. Like if I wake up in the morning and I'm like, why do I feel like a busted bag of dicks? And I look and it's a hell of a description. But yeah, I do that.
Speaker: My stress level yesterday, and I was in the rain, but I was having a really bad fucking day yesterday. Well, you're engaged to Glick, so your stress level, I'm sure is way high all the time. You said I didn't do anything wrong. You sure didn't. It was not him. It was my punk ass kids. Yeah. It's just life in general, mine is specifically. Kids were my car moving. It was a bunch of things.
Speaker: I, okay. Understandably, I can see where you would use it. Myself? I don't know. If I, if I, if I wore a smartwatch for a week, it'd be like, bro, are you dead? It'd be like alcohol content. 100%. And that's why. Oh. At the, at the end of the week, my watch would be like, you fat ass get up and move.
Speaker: Like I know you take 10 steps this week, you fat fucker and not to the fridge to get more beer. This will vibrate and I will know if it's something important. Like if it's a text message from somebody important or whatever, I don't know. And I can be like, Oh, I don't really need to look at that right now. Or I'm like, Oh shit. You know, like it's.
Speaker: I can do that. And it comes in real handy because I like to lose things. Just ask him how many times a week he's got to find my date. It's got to find my phone button on it. The one, the one cool thing that that Tanya's iPhone does, her earbuds, she's constantly can't find the fucking earbuds. It does the find my earbuds thing and the earbuds will be. Yes. Yeah. I think if you got it.
Speaker: Samsung has that too, because Christopher Dundee just lost his galaxy buds and left him on vacation, but... Dundee lost his... For myself, I don't... For myself, I don't see a point of getting... But for you, obviously it makes sense because you actually have friends. I do. I don't...
Speaker: don't need one. Yeah, I have zero use. I can't think of the steps. I know I don't take 10 ,000 steps a day. I don't take 10 ,000 on a low end. Because I mean, I'll tell you, my watch will, I'll get these little footprints every once in a while. If I've been stationary or I'm not doing something and it's like, hey, fat ass, you know, go for a walk. It tells you politely. I would do that all day long.
Speaker: Because I literally I take what 15 steps to from the bedroom to the office. The most I walk every day is when I go to the store to pick up cigarettes and Coke. And then I don't move again until I get done with work. And then I go from the office up here to the bedroom. I maybe take 25 steps a day. Did you find it? Yeah.
Speaker: Why don't you grab one of the 40 fucking shoes out there and squish it? Oh, she's been going around with this goddamn cricket ball. Dude, have you seen that that bug gun? Yeah, with the salt. Yeah, no, it's not. No, they got one where where it does. It doesn't solve. They got one where it hits back here with the bug up and then shoots the bug. Like you can shoot the bug across the floor.
Speaker: I think it's very cruel, but I'm like, I want one. So I could like shoot a bug right into a wall. Point blank. Yeah. Yeah, basically. You just. There you go, you fucker. But it's mostly so you can shoot it out the window. But I'm sure my dumbass was like, I wonder if I can make it flat on this window.
Speaker: or if it's a B, I'd shoot it at you. You know, like, hey, Chris, I shoot a B in your forehead. I was trying to knock your hard hat off. He's out there delivering my hair stuff, stomping around, smashing around. She's like, all right, I'm just going to vacuum up, you dumb son of a bitch. So we used to do cockroaches when we'd go into a big major infestation. We'd take a shot back.
Speaker: And one of the tricks that I found, I'm like, yeah, well, I discovered that if you throw like a handful or two of sand at the vacuum out. Nice. Uh, but if you throw a handful or two of salt, uh, sand into the bottom of the shop, back when you, when you turn it on, it creates a cyclone. So when you're going through a major infestation.
Speaker: and you're vacuuming them up when they're going in there, they're going into that cyclone and that sand is **** ripping them apart, man. Well, it's basically turned into a sand block. Yeah. On the inside of the I probably didn't think that through because now the vacuum is good **** church. Go outside. Take it. Take the we don't we we don't have a shot back. We have a a vacuum cleaner.
Speaker: just take the outside and dump it. Where? On Lisa's front porch. Oh, don't fucking. I don't know if there's a dumpster right across the street, baby. I know, but well, I mean, it's anything like all the work mattress and box springs in there. And I had to heave ho the goddamn garbage up over the top of it yesterday.
Speaker: The one over here. Yes. I'm assuming maybe the neighbors, but there's a mattress and box springs in the doctor. You couldn't get it in the side door. No. Oh yeah. No, this one down here is usually pretty clean. They usually put the box stuff to the side. Oh, I guess I got new neighbors. I guess we'll find out. Oh, in front of you, you mean. Yeah. They're younger. Nikki's seen them. Um,
Speaker: that she's been that she's been told cricket all week I can't hear I'm fucking deaf I thought it's a bottle opener that's not it's the morning falcon is that the starship enterprise seven three dash seven five one zero zero d four dash slash one
Speaker: You know that for Because it looks like a Millennium Falcon asshole Do I look like somebody who knows what a millennial falcon is falcon falcon you should I Look like a guy who's not in my 40s and still a virgin Starship Falcon bottle opener and expected me to know what the hell it was
Speaker: Nicky, come here. Tell me if you know what this is by Glance. She doesn't care. She said she doesn't fucking care. It's awesome. I mean, sure, if you say so. Kind of from Disneyland Paris. Nerd. You're a fucking nerd. Nerd. You're a fucking nerd. Nerd. Boy, no one likes you.
Speaker: I was cleaning out the closet. I'm so happy. I'm so happy you took that dance with me. You're like the world's greatest dance partner. You just you just kept dancing along and and walk and just dancing right into it. I knew I was. I didn't know this. Keep going. I'm listening. I have to try some chicken.
Speaker: Did you take down my fucking fog or light? No, there it is. I was about to yell at you for taking down my fog or light. No, I wish I wouldn't have taken down the shoes now. What? It's also time for break if you want to do that.
Speaker: I needed um I needed more room for um for uh for new music tonight. It's time for break when I say it's time for break. Besides the
Speaker: Oh, I got lots of new stories tonight. Let's do another story out here. All right, we can do one more. Nice, Kevin. Hey, do you need the instructions? What are you doing yet? No. I can't possibly draw. I have no books. He was coming. He was showing me one of his pictures. He had drawn. Yeah, he possibly draw.
Speaker: actually, let's do this one because the last couple that I have a real scummy **** stories but also we can we can make fun of them and and have fun. Let's check this out. Let's go down to our one of our favorite places in the entire United States of America.
Speaker: Uh, Florida siblings aged 10 and 11 were stopped while driving mom's car on the freeway, 200 miles away from home, bro. 10 and 11 Gainesville, Florida. Gainesville, Florida. A 10 year old Florida boy and his 11 year old sister who were running away to California.
Speaker: Drove 200 miles in their mother's car before they were stopped by Sheriff's deputies. On an interstate highway authority say the Achela County Sheriff's Office says deputies spotted this event on Interstate 75 near Gainesville. Shout out to Gainesville shout out to Florida State Seminoles. Good wind today. Awesome game and good job slapping Clemson in the mouth. Anywho.
Speaker: Um, just before 4 a .m. Thursday, the children's mother had reported his reported is stolen and her children missing four hours earlier and North port, a city in Southwest Florida. The deputies thinking that they were dealing with car thieves drew their guns.
Speaker: and ordered those inside the car to step out. Much to their surprise, deputies observed a 10 -year -old male driver exit the vehicle, along with his 11 -year -old sister, the department said in a statement. The children told deputies the girl had been upset that their mother had taken away her electronic devices for misbehaving, so the boy was driving her to California. Oh, how nice of him. Like, how's in the car?
Speaker: Yeah. The children were interviewed by detectives who said there was no indication that they they had been mistreated by their mother or anyone else in the home. And here's where I have a problem with the story. OK. Because had my kids 10 and 11 years old stolen my car. Oh, they'd been dead over 200 miles away. I would have told the cops, no, they weren't abused.
Speaker: but when you bring them home, I'm beating the shit out of them. Yep. They're about to be abused or better yet, little fucking asses to jail. Yep. I'm just because I was away just so you know, I'm going to Walmart right now. I'm buying boxing gloves for each one of us and it's going to be a two on one handicap them two versus me and I'm beating the brakes off of both of them little bastards. The mother declined to spoil a little breath.
Speaker: The mother declined to press charges when the children were released. So she was like, Oh, you just kids being kids. I'm wearing my belt out on you. I'm wearing my guitar out on you. I might even beat you in the head with a ball. Oh, what's going on? Why had I been stranger?
Speaker: the fuck do you mean? At the least I'm pressing charges. Now I'm not going to beat my kids up or anything like that, but I am absolutely 100 % pressing charges and teaching them. I'm teaching them a fucking lesson. It would be one thing if they were abused in one way or another, and they were like, they're trying to get away from her mom. She's a crazy psycho, but it sounds like they were just pissed off because mom, they did something wrong. Mom took away the fucking electronic devices.
Speaker: And like, we're going to run away. Well, okay. But you could, you could run away all you want. Just, you're not thinking my fucking car. Yeah. Mom waterboards us and grapes us with a rolling pin. Okay. Understood. You're like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I was talking about, you know,
Speaker: I mean, I gotta rethink my my
Speaker: She brings midgets in every night and they just toss us. She makes us fight off the gun with our kids. We have a kids fight club in the backyard. We just broke rule number one because we're not supposed to talk about. No, I mean, like, how are you not like I mean, I love my kids to death and everything like that. But if you steal my car and I got to say, I mean, I got to say to the kids themselves,
Speaker: I got to give him props, man. My little, little man was, I couldn't do 200 miles at that age. Yeah. Little man was, little man was 10 years old and drove 200 miles away. Didn't crash the car. Wasn't speeding. Didn't get pulled over prior. Wasn't driving reckless. Like props to little man, first and foremost. How big is this 10 year old? That's what I would like to know too. Because here's my thing. When you see a 10 year old behind the wheel of a car,
Speaker: It's kind of noticeable. Well, like, I mean, it's not like the little dude looks like he's 30. Yeah. Cash is 10. He's not jumping behind the wheel of my car and taking off and he can't reach just yet. He's like you. He can't reach you there over the dash at the same time. You can do some blocks on your feet. No, but okay. Yeah. Exactly. That point Kevin, even in the, you know, if I sit in the car and the fucking steering wheels touch on my chest, Kevin can't reach the pedals and see over the wheel.
Speaker: I mean, he's 10 years old and he's he's catching up with his sisters. Yeah. So, my point is is like you see a car rolling by with the with what looks like no **** driver. Red flag. That's not some little old lady from **** Pasadena. I'm just saying. Let's be honest. Knee steering and then his sister was on the
Speaker: Yeah, because she she obviously listens to directions or I mean, there is the old short round. Well, we know that's not true because no woman could listen to anything a man says. I was waiting for it. But there is the short round. You know, I got to call you out to that last night when everybody was coming out of the concert last night. Right. And there was a lot of nothing, nothing bad, nothing. But there was a lot of craziness with the drugs.
Speaker: and we had to yell at a few of them, but for the most part, we were just having fun with them, right? So this dude, and he's got his wife and like four of her friends, and they came in on the party buses, on the party bus. So basically the party bus, these people came in, they were already drinking, they were already partying, they were already having a good time. They were in the parking lot on these said buses, drinking, partying, having a good time, two hours before the damn concert kicked off, whatever. Nice.
Speaker: So they come out and they're leaving and he was like, we gotta go this way. And, and, and his wife and her best friend could have been her sister. Uh, we're like, no, it's this way. And I was like, where are you guys trying to get to? And so you're trying to get to the parking or were you on the party bus? I knew they were on the party bus because how wasted they were. And she was like, they're on the party bus and, and dude was like three feet away from me. And I was like, come here. And he came over and I said, the party buses are this way.
Speaker: go ahead and check yourself because you're wrong. No, we're going this way. And I told the, and I told his wife, I was like, I said, you're right. She's like, I know. And I'm going to kill him. And I was like, lots of woods. Yeah. Do it all properly. Yeah. Toss me in the woods. It's fine. Not even five minutes later here. They come back by and I look back.
Speaker: and she's like, she gave me a hug and she was like, you tried to save him and he was like, yeah, I did dude. I tried to help you and you didn't listen. Yeah. You got to eat this out. You got to eat this out all day, bro, because you brought it on yourself. I
Speaker: Would you, would you, would you say cash can drive 200 miles? Cash couldn't even drive it out of my goddamn parking spot. Kevin, Kevin wrote a, a neighbor kids, one of the little pocket motorbikes, you know, this is like a weed or motor on a motorcycle. You're comparing a motorcycle to a car. Right. Well, he didn't make it two feet. Yeah. You know, there's, there's no way he'd be able to drive 200 miles.
Speaker: There's no way. Again, he's not going to get in my car and be able to reach the pedals and see over the dash at the same time. Well, no, but there there is the the the short round. Short round did it. And then they don't get blocks on his feet. Maybe this kid did that. You're given. They're given this generation way too much credit. Oh, yeah, I forgot.
Speaker: If it's our generation, we've told you. Mind you. Mind you, they're running away because mom took their cell phones away from them. Yeah, exactly. So again, you're giving them way too much fucking credit. I'm impressed. I'm impressed at it. You know, we know it would have stopped it. You get a fucking manual that could win. You know, it would have stopped it. And I know that she doesn't based off of the end of this story.
Speaker: discipline. Wait, was it a fucking Tesla? Yeah. Those drives themselves. So, I mean, I, I mean, there's still days where I'd like to take a belt to my kids, but unfortunately I can't get on that road again, but I'm just saying that's impressive as fuck for this generation to drive 200 miles. I mean, no, it's, it's an impressive move at the end of the day.
Speaker: but you wonder what's more impressive. You and I could have done it at 10. Oh yeah. Well, I can. Yeah. I mean, we could reach a pedal. Yeah. But I mean, I was driving, I was cutting grass. I was driving lawnmowers. We were driving lawnmowers and tractors at age anyways. So, um, but you know, what's more impressive Jeffrey, sister, listen,
Speaker: Okay, this is a brother and sister, which means they argued the whole time because their brother and sister. Exactly. She's constantly telling which way to go. He's like, I know which way we're fucking going. You're not fucking Matt Quest woman. Shut up. Somebody said you're not my boss. You're not my mom. Exactly. Could you do 200 miles with your kids in the car without them arguing?
Speaker: I don't know. He's not. He's not good to you. I'm not good to you. I'm not from school and drive home without them arguing. Exactly. These kids. I just want to be there. I just want to be there when they get home and the mom ask them who stole the car, who drove the car? And they say, I don't know. It wasn't me because those two sons of bitches. I swear to God, if I find them motherfuckers and my apparently they live here, I just don't know where they're at.
Speaker: but if I find I don't know and it wasn't me, I'm **** them up. Because those two sons of **** those two sons of **** are constantly causing problems around here. I don't I don't think uh I know Kevin Michelle couldn't do it. Yeah. Oh my god. Cameron, why are you so **** weird?
Speaker: I did like a skirt that he showed the other day. I don't know what you're talking about. He poses a shirt. Cameron, why are you so weird? Stop sending me your matchbox 20 album cover pictures and shirtless pictures, bro. This is not only for him with you. You hear me? Oh, my.
Speaker: He sent me a picture earlier and I sort of got it. It looks like the cover of a matchbox 20 album. It was all like black and white and he was in his car and he was like. And then just now he just sent me a picture of him like shirtless Xbox night. Are you trying to seduce me, sir? And I do that.
Speaker: And I did it with my camera facing the computer, so he knows we're live on the bike. Amy Hill, I was trying to say, you know what's more impressive than a 10 -year -old stealing his mom's car and driving 200 miles, Jeffrey? I don't know. That's kind of impressive.
Speaker: Proper hydration is more impressive, man. That's impressive. I'm just saying a lot of people think they're, they're, they're drinking their, their eight glasses of water a day. They're getting their overpriced, uh, sports drinks and they're properly hydrated when at the end of the day, they're really not. Not at all in any way, shape or form, but don't worry. Cause your boy Glick has got you covered and I'm going to turn you guys on to our good friends at liquid Ivy.
Speaker: one stick of liquid, I'd be in 16 ounces of water. It's going to hydrate you two times faster and more efficiently than water alone. It also contains five essential vitamins. And it's got three times the electrolytes of those, uh, leading sports strengths. We were just making fun of not only that, but it's also made with quality ingredients, non GMO and free from gluten, dairy, and soy. What I need you guys to do is head on over to liquidiv .com.
Speaker: get 20 % off your order. When you use our promo code words are hard at checkout. Real people, real flavor, real hydrating. It's 20 % off everything. Anything. Sorry, not everything. Well, yeah, everything, everything and anything you order when you shop better hydration today, use promo code words are hard at liquid iv .com. But wait, flavors, what flavors they got. Oh, that's done.
Speaker: That's done, but I can answer your question. Lots of flavors. There was it down. All of the flavor. All of them. There you go. You got, you got coconut, you got mango, you got peach, you got grape, there's golden cherry, there's apple, there's watermelon, there's sea berry. I don't know what sea berry is, but I want to try it. Uh,
Speaker: and and and the list goes on and on and on but let's not forget. Mary's just start with she like with with like uh cherry. No, see like SCA like in the water. Okay, like the ocean or not the ocean because that's an ocean and not a sea but yeah. Not only that but they also got my favorite flavor. It's the black belt of all favors are all flavors. I'll say
Speaker: It's going to karate bite you if you ain't careful. It'll hit you with a goddamn brainache. Wax on, wax off, mother. Your mother, bitch. Mother, bitch. Let's take ourselves a real quick break. We've got another Darius Rucker song tonight. This was Darius Rucker chasing that meme.
Speaker: think Luke Bryan was in it and then, um, Charlie Kelly or Charles Kelly. I think he's the dude from Lady Antebellum or Florida, Georgia line or something. I don't know any who, but, uh, it's a song called straight to hell. I love this song. It's a fun song back in just a few minutes.
Speaker: I grew up just less to the tracks Holding me to homemade bed egg Around your door she's calling out my name She said son won't you go outside I got a man coming over tonight The seventh one in seven days
Speaker: So I go down to the parking lot
Speaker: She said, where have you been? I said I was out She said, you're no good Cause you're running without love And I'm going straight to hell Just like my mama said, yeah I'm going straight to hell
Speaker: I'm going straight to hell Just like my mama said I'm going straight to hell I'm gonna burn a devil The black widow and the lady's man Met down at the laundromat And tried to make me
Speaker: About what they might have heard And running down they shouted, so it seemed Next door a girl she lived About the same age as me And asked me to come upstairs for a seat
Speaker: I know the bursting, I know the bursting Said you're the son of that bitch in the wind Get out of my house and hit the road And I can't hold it like a rolling stone song Cause I'm going straight to hell Just like my mama said I'm going straight
Speaker: I'm going straight to hell Just like my mama said
Speaker: The stars came out and warned me so as I walked on down the road. Fifty bucks and a suitcase steered me clear. She took my hand as we walked into the sun.
Speaker: Just like my mama said I'm going straight to hell I'm going straight to hell Just like my mama said
Speaker: I'm going straight to hell. Just like my mama said. I'm going straight to hell. I'm going straight to hell. I'm going straight to hell. I'm going straight to hell. I'm going straight to hell.
Speaker: I'm going straight to here. Oh, I love that song, man. I love me some. He used to be the lead singer of the bluefish. Now he's a country superstar. Yeah, that's a country superstar, man. From from Charleston. You know, there's a there's a common misconception that rappers make the most money, but it's actually
Speaker: music stars well yes what's he mobile stuff I don't think we need any of the old phone cases but I would look in there and see if we have any charging cords or anything fuck you Riley fuck you Jones oh my god if I couldn't love her anymore
Speaker: last night, we came back here to get in bed and she doesn't even really watch Letterkitting. She just sits there. If it's on when I'm watching when she comes home and and I climbed in bed and I was like, pitter patter and without missing a beat, she said, get at her. I was like, oh my god. That's moments. You're just like, I love you, baby. I knew I made a good decision.
Speaker: You really old major. Oh man. Love me some major. Anywho, no, yeah, Terry Shrucker Charleston, South Carolina native born and raised still lives down there. The kids have seen him a couple times around town. Nice. Bill Murray lives down there too. Scream out. Do the Dolphins still make you cry?
Speaker: If I ever meet Cuba Gooding Jr., I'm going to ask him if he's Hootie. If he's what? If he's Hootie. When he did that movie with, what's that? Show me the money. What's that? Jerry Maguire movie? Jerry Maguire. The kids are like, are you a Hootie? He's like, no, I'm not a Hootie. If I ever get a chance to meet him, I'm like, are you a Hootie? He's like.
Speaker: I'm going to go back to you. Oh, baby. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Speaker: Now you have me fucked up. I can't remember his goddamn name. Damn it. Oh, fuck. I want to say Richie, but it's not Richie. Richie's down. All right. Um. Damn, it was probably crazy. Uh, Cuba Kitten Jr. was not in a movie about Richie Allen. No, but.
Speaker: But he screams out the dude's name that died at Boys in the Hood. I'm looking it up right now. Yeah, because Kuba was was Trey. Ice Cube was Doughboy, which that's where my nickname came from growing up. Ricky. Ricky. Hey, thanks. I was close. I know. Sure. I mean, that old boy, that red jetta fucked him up.
Speaker: Yeah, but cube went in on them though Yeah, you did. Yeah, cube got to watch that movie. That's a great movie. I didn't show that movie. I didn't show that movie. That's a great movie. I haven't watched that movie in years. Anywho, I mean it. If you're uh if you're not already go ahead and check out the social medias, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. I'm sorry, not Twitter. X. X gon give it to you.
Speaker: Uh, you can also hang out with us live every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday 7 PM ish on YouTube and Facebook live.
Speaker: And if you can't catch us live or if you miss us live and you want to listen to the episodes anytime, any place, you can go ahead and check it out on Zincaster, Spotify, and everywhere you listen to the podcast at all at nonsensical nonsense podcast, or you can simply just go to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense. It's going to give you the links to all of our social media, everywhere you can find us, not only that, but it's also going to give you the links to our sponsors like W liquid IV and Zincaster. If you're, if you're a podcast or if you want to start a podcast,
Speaker: Check out Zincaster as well. It's going to show you the links to those and it's also going to give you our promo code. Words are hard. Oh, that nonsensical nonsense podcast. Go ahead and give us a follow. Give us a listen. Give us a share. If you'd be so kind, we greatly appreciate that. As always, he's Jeff. I'm Glick. We're rocking and rolling. Going through another Saturday night. Have an, have an awful. I was in a bit of a country. He's in a country meeting tonight. I have a question. You probably don't know the answer.
Speaker: I'm not taking questions. No, no, no, no. I wonder how much it costs to call Webster's and get a definition put in the dictionary. What definition do you want to put in the dictionary? Seven -ish. Just submit it. And have the definition, the time of day when non -simple lesson starts is the definition. An actual time of day between seven
Speaker: and 759 30. Yeah. That nonsense go nonsense. Starts their podcast. Yeah. I mean, I think it's just, I think it's just a matter of submissions. I'm going to submit it. How cool would that be? I mean, give us the whole record. That'd be cool. And I think, but Webster's, I mean, I think, I think words like cap, like no cap, uh, eat,
Speaker: I think WAP has made the Webster's dictionary. Yeah, so so why got seven ish? Yeah, why not seven ish? And then, you know, well, I mean, we're not as rich and or famous as a prostitute stripper who used to drug and rob people and then went all over social media and media and told everybody that she would drug and rob men. I'm just saying.
Speaker: It's already in. Seven ish. I just look. Yeah, seven ish is already. The meeting is a time close to seven o 'clock. Well, obviously, that's why I'm calling. Well, it's on Wikipedia, which means it's editable, which means we can put seven ish. Edit it. Yeah, I'm going to edit it. I would just edit it right now.
Speaker: Just put in just just put in the bio link just when nonsense will nonsense I Can't starts to show Mondays Wednesdays and Saturdays. We're gonna just put the bio dot link slide link. Oh, yeah What I'm doing tonight
Speaker: I wonder how long before somebody changes it back. I'm actually going to save those for Monday because I do those. I do Monday show by myself. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: I got a couple stories about some scumbags and and I don't want to bring down the mood of tonight's show because of some scummy people and Monday nights, I'm here by myself and and typically on Mondays, we get into a little bit more serious conversations or I do because some because you're usually by yourself. Boycotted. What are the only ones who's boycotted? You're Tom Petty. You are Tom Petty, motherfucker.
Speaker: free free. When we were kids, we used to tend to free balling. Yeah. That's what I was just saying. Oh, where you at? Pay attention. I know. I went by the actual words. I'm not a big Tom Petty fan, but I did like that last dance with Mary Jane.
Speaker: or whatever it is. Thomas Jane's last dance. Last dance with Thomas Jane. I would like to dance with Thomas Jane. He's a handsome guy. He's a good looking guy. He's a short cat though. He's a short King, I feel like. Really? I don't know. I'm guessing he looks like he might be. How tall is Thomas Jane?
Speaker: Thomas Jane is five feet 11 inches tall. It's interesting. Taller than you, shorter than me. Yeah, well, very few people who are 6 '12", motherfucker. Oh my goodness. I mean, 5 '11'' is not short. And for whatever reason, oh, I know why she came up in that search because she was in the Punisher. Rebecca Romaine came up.
Speaker: Yeah, she did. I like her. So the average height men. Oh my God, Jeffs. How many times do we have to have this goddamn conversation? You are still below average. The average height of men is like five. It's five nine. Five nine is average height. Tom Jay's not short.
Speaker: He just comes off short. I'm pretty sure he can kick your ass. I mean, I mean, he whoops some ass and punisher, dude. Yeah, but I mean, he was a lot of guns and when he would come down to hand combat, he got his ass whooped by the Russian who was played by Kevin Nash, AKA. Dude, who's fucking who wouldn't get kicked by that guy? That dude's like.
Speaker: he's close to seven but he's a well he's a I know he yeah. How the **** is that? Kevin Nash is not small. No, no, he's close to seven foot tall. Yeah, like I said, he's like seven twelve. So, so he's eight foot tall. You've never heard that expression. A short
Speaker: What the fuck is even happening right now? No, he, uh, he just, when you see him in the knife and shoved it through dude's fucking bottom of his chin. And he said over the knife, I was fucking dope. That was hand to hand. Hand to hand. I'm talking. Fist of cuffs. No weapons. Fist of cuffs.
Speaker: Okay, so if you're saying you could take Thomas days, that means I would be able to whoop Tom Cruise is that Peter Dinklage. Fuck you. Peter Dinklage probably whoop your ass. Bites on the ankles. I've caught some fucking midget across the yard. Like a lawnmower. I guess we do whatever Peter Dinklage says because he's like the king of our people. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, you heard me. I said the M word your fucking midgets deal with it. Oh, I'm a goddamn giant compared to you. Oompa Loompa looking motherfucker. Click smash. You are kind of like the Incredible Hulk in the midget world.
Speaker: A whole bunch of goddamn images started. That's what we need to do. I need to draw out my beard longer and we'll do a remake of the Incredible Hulk movie. But I'll play the movie. I'll play Blue Spanner and then when I get angry, you come out all green. Hulk smash! Better than CGI, motherfuckers. I mean, that's what they did for fucking Incredible Hulk movie or TV show.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, no, they really did. Yeah, cuz Lou Ferrigno had one dude and then Lou Ferrigno come out I Need to work on my physique if you will I Didn't say this could be top of the line fucking quality. I mean I'm not fucking working out for nobody It's gonna be the incredible drunk
Speaker: I just seen something funny. I saw something funny. I got to find it. You'd be like, you wouldn't. You're making me want to drink. You wouldn't like me when I'm drunk. You wouldn't like me when I'm drunk. You'd crack a beer and take a drink out of it. And you're like, brrr. Just bust it. You come out. Hey, all right, boys.
Speaker: Where's the party? I actually saw a photo the other day. You can affect guys. There's a, there's a photo of this guy. He's, this guy is as big as roundly as Paul. He's got to be roughly, I'd say he's about your hike, but he's real big dude, right? He's like the bulks of energy.
Speaker: Because I follow all these pages on Facebook for memes and shit. And I saw one of these things... I can't remember what the meme was. But apparently in Africa, the motorcycle scene is starting to take up. And these guys love the ape hanger panda bars. This dude, he had like six foot rides.
Speaker: This is the point where he's almost standing all this But the best one my buddy in Mazatlan he He rides around town all day on his bike and he saw this dude wearing the exact same pattern sweater a Freddy Cougar Nice while riding a Harley and he sent me the picture. He's like
Speaker: Apparently, we know what Freddie does when everybody's awake. He rides a Harley at Mazatlan. I was like, I can't. Like, this dude literally looked like a cat. It was a side picture. You couldn't see his face or anything. But I mean, the exact same sweater pattern that got brownish and gray, red and gray or red and brown or whatever. You had a fedora? But Kevin said, did he have a fedora on?
Speaker: I wish I could find that motorcycle picture. This dude. I mean, this dude is huge. Are you fat shaming him? A little bit. It's not nice to fat shame people. How would you feel? Actually, here he is. Let me see if I can save this picture.
Speaker: don't fat shame people. That's not very nice. He wants to give me shit. He can come all the way down to Mexico and give me shit. You're going to hurt their feel bads. We have to be, we have to be conscious of people's feelings. It's 2023. Yeah. So the hashtag was actually
Speaker: Sorry, I got it wrong. It's tons of energy. This is the cat. Tons of energy. That poor bike. That is a big dude. That is an electric glide. That is not a small bike. That poor bike. That's just that poor suspension. That's just trying to keep up. That poor bike is... Haul. Haul.
Speaker: hollering out for his mama. Mama mama. There's a family on me. Do you remember? Back in the day, back in the day when we were all obsessed with Guinness Book of World Records, there was a set of twins that they were the. Sorry. I gotta do something.
Speaker: Somebody did it. Somebody made a... There you go. When Chris buys a motorcycle. Hey, that big, you bitch. Yeah, but that dude is literally on one of those, like, mini bikes. Yeah, calm down, scoots of anarchy. You and your scooter club.
Speaker: No, but you remember back in the day that they were the like fattest twins I'm gonna look it up as twins The fat twins Yeah, here they are Benny and Larry are their names McCord buh -buh -buh Benny in the chest
Speaker: You're one of those every time that I'm one of what? These guys were world record holders for the fattest twins. Oh, Molly, bro. That's tons of energy. I am no weird. Again, 62 to 90. I carry it pretty well. I mean, I'm not small. Yeah, but you're not those guys either.
Speaker: I had to I had to I had to pull a Tony and throw throw something on my phone real quick. Oh, okay. It's the last uh sounds like you're trying to watch 90 Day Fiance because I'm watching it. I know you don't watch a lot of college football but I know that
Speaker: What? Check out their uniforms tonight. I was watching the game at work. Oh, really? Yes. Oh, my bad. Well, they're winning. There's a minute left. Fucking I'm I'm well, I mean, bro. Hey, my bad, bro. I didn't grow you. I brought you. Those are my hands.
Speaker: She said a bra is the thing that holds my titties. Nope. That's man's. She said, shut up. It's called a handbroker. You said earlier, she said she went to, she went to Walmart yesterday and was buying a few things here and there. And she was like, I bought really cool dry erase markers. Why? Because I thought they were pretty and I liked them. I was like, Oh, okay. Like you have to explain yourself to me because you bought dry erase markers. I don't care.
Speaker: And she's like, they're double ended. I said, I'll buy you something that's double ended. This is what I'm talking about. Look at this. How is that comfortable? I don't think the, what are they called? Gorilla bars. They're called eight hangers. Oh, eight hangers. I don't think they look cool. And I don't see any, not, not as not just in general. If you're riding a bike,
Speaker: Yeah. If you're riding a bike like this, it makes no sense to me. That does not look comfortable. It doesn't look cool. You look like an asshole and it makes you drive by and punch you in the kidneys. Yeah. Cause they're, they're 100 % exposed your kidneys at that point. But like, yeah, any painters, I mean this, look at this, this is ridiculous. Oh yeah. I I'm, I I'm more of a drag bar kind of guy.
Speaker: I like drag bars. It costs more, that bike costs more money than the entire country of Africa has. Dude, they don't, they don't fuck around in Africa. If you look up custom African motorcycles, like these guys customize the shit out of it. But, but no, like a painters make no sense to me. Yeah. I kid Africa. Don't take it personal. A little bit, a little bit higher than normal. Okay. I get.
Speaker: But if I'm doing this. Yeah. I mean, if you're like riding a bike and you know, you're normal handlebars, a little high here. If you're like right up here, it's still normal. It's still, but once you, you know, when you see the guys that are like this, like I don't understand the purpose in it and it doesn't, it looks dumb and it's just me. I'm not a bike guy. Don't judge me. I don't know. You know, I want a bike for me.
Speaker: for me, if I'm going to ride a bike, I want drag drag bars. Literally. It's just a, it's a slightly curve, but straight across. So it almost like BMX bike animals, you know, that straight bar, you know, when I go buy my bike, I'm just going to go buy a bike and I'm going to find the one I want. I'm not going to modify it. I'm not going to do anything to it because it's already going to have everything I want on it. Well, here's the thing. Uh, for instance, when the, when the dinos.
Speaker: The handlebars on the dynas the stock ones aren't very comfortable, which is why everybody customized well, I want an Indian But Indian dude the Indian Indian Scouts are nice. I almost bought one About eight nine years ago. I almost bought one. I wish I would have I love them, but you know, I'm also not
Speaker: I'm also not, like I said, I'm not motorcycle guy. I just want one. I want a big cruiser. So Nikki and I can go out and ride. I'm not going to pretend to be sons of anarchy. I'm not going to pretend to be an outlaw, an outlaw biker and enjoying a random fucking club and, and, and put a bunch of stupid patches on my, on a vest. I'm just going to go fucking ride. This is the Indian scout. Oh, I know what the Indian scout is. That's kind of nice. I like it. Come on, Notre Dame. What the fuck are you doing?
Speaker: but actually what I really like is. But that bike's not gonna be comfortable for Nikki and I. I want one of these. This is the V -Rod. You couldn't even handle that bike. That bike is too big for you. Actually, no, they're not very big. They're not much bigger than a Dyna. The only difference is they got that big fat white bike. Just stick with your fucking best butt and stop.
Speaker: Listen, listen, listen. No, I'm getting a dina. I'm getting a dina. It's... Listen here, Hornswoggle. What? Hornswoggle. Just Google Hornswoggle. I know who Hornswoggle is. Jeff. Jeff over here. He thinks he's fucking Jack's teller and goddamn Sons of Anarchy. He's moving to France and he's joining a motorcycle gang. He's too short. He's too short.
Speaker: Keep it up, woman. They're not bad. They're not too big. Just stick to your Vespa. I'm not getting a Vespa. It's a scooter. I would never get a Vespa. I would never get a Vespa. Just stick to it. I'm not a Vespa guy.
Speaker: That's, that's, that's more your, the guy down the road. He's got a dino. I was riding his yesterday. By riding his, you're riding bitch holding onto him and he was actually, I actually drove it up and down the road. You're singing Berlin from Top Gun. As you guys rode off of the sun. Cause I, cause you know,
Speaker: Pictures on the internet do not give you size comparison. And my thing is, the road glide, way too big of a bike. Too heavy, too big. I can ride it, but if I have to stop by the stoplight somewhere, it's gonna fall over. So, too big for me. At least at the moment. You gotta get used to something like that. And since I haven't ridden since the 90s, the Dyna actually fits me kinda nice.
Speaker: I can put my feet on the floor on the diner. Ohio State's 15 seconds away from losing to overrated Notre Dame. And they just got popped with intentional grounding. You don't know what that is, but that's when the quarterback's not out of the pocket.
Speaker: Uh, and they throw the ball away. Oh, he was, oh, he was still in the ball. I think it's a 10 or 15. Well, the quarterback pocket is a designated area. When you, when you hike the ball, it's a designated area. It's like a box. Right. Right. Right. Throw it away. If you intentionally throw it out of bounds or intentionally throw it away when you're in this box, it's a penalty and it is.
Speaker: Oh, there's still a goal line. Any receivers in the area either. So I can't remember if it's 10 or 15 yards. Somebody helped me out. But, um, and they just use their final sign out. No.
Speaker: Notre Dame is one of the most seriously overrated teams in college football. They will not join a conference because they have a deal with NBC and they make stupid money. So they play a bunch of hacks, like right now they're 4 -0, but they've played Army and Billy Bob's school of the inbred and Frank and Mary's.
Speaker: school of the deaf and blind and then they played Mother Teresa's school of the paraplegic and now they're actually playing in Ohio State. But me being a Michigan guy, I hate Notre Dame because they are a rival to Michigan. I hate Ohio State because they are a rival to Michigan, but I hate Ohio State more than I hate Notre Dame. And I was really hoping for Notre Dame to get this L because Michigan and Ohio State are both in the Big 10, which means if Ohio State loses,
Speaker: They can go to hell. So the passing pocket, I doesn't say anything about state is literally about to win this game in the final fucking seconds. There are seven and they are on the one yard line. Holy fucking shit. Talking about the passing pocket, correct? Yeah, yeah. OK, well, let me share this.
Speaker: This is from your favorite website. Wikipedia has pocket or pocket is a term used to recognize doesn't say size. No, it's just a box. Yeah. Well, come on, come on there, Dan. How do you know if you're in or out of it? As a, as a, as an athlete, as a quarterback, you, you know, where these things are. Well, you might be coming over, over time.
Speaker: You know, it's not like it's his first day. You know, it's not his first game. It's not his first day on the field. He should know if he's in or out of the pocket. So understandably, I was just kind of looking for a, you know, that way I can be like, he's not, he's not out of the pocket. I can yell, I can yell TV screen too. Get out of the pocket, you pussy. I can fit in. I can fit in. I'm a football serve.
Speaker: Yay. You go to the bar, watch a game, be like, Pussy wasn't even out of the pocket. Stop playing. Why are you throwing me out of the park? Football play. He's not even out of the pocket. Like, what are you talking about? He doesn't even have the ball. He wasn't out of the pocket.
Speaker: It was a running play. That's a touchdown home run, right? Three points. I want to do that. I totally want to go to a sports park and just every time somebody scores a touchdown, like
Speaker: Yay, that was a great slide. As a sports guy, I would love to join you and do that with you. Just to watch everybody else's reaction. Maybe we're going to speed. Maybe we need to go to be dubs. Why? This is going to be awesome. I want wings. Just hold my phone. Just treat this bottle of Jack and we're going. We're going to get rid of the car. Literally.
Speaker: And Nikki, you're going to drive. Just play along. Literally the final fucking second with the final play of the game. God damn, man. And just dance with us. Just dance with me. Have you seen the show? Do you know what the show is about? Just do what Jeff does and just dance with me. I'm done. It'll be awesome.
Speaker: Like, hey, that's a goal, right? Scream like we're soccer fans. Go! Everybody's going to talk. When do they scream football? Just go to everybody at the bar. When do they scream football? What? You know, like, you know, when soccer and soccer, when they scream goal, you scream football?
Speaker: Why is the clock counting down? Should they count up? Like they do in soccer? I'm so confused right now. Dude, there's nothing worse than watching a soccer game.
Speaker: because the clock counts like a normal clock. So is this like golf where the team with the lowest score wins? I bet you my team will score less than yours. Which is going to dominate your team with a score of zero. You guys are probably winning. You fucking loser. You mean thirty eight? Because, you know,
Speaker: Just boring work. Is that one? No, let's just go and be like watching a game that I don't care about. Like, you know, any team that's not the Browns and it doesn't affect my fantasy football team and be like, I bet the Jacksonville Jaguars are going to beat the hell out of the San Francisco 49ers with a score of zero to 38.
Speaker: right. You think those going to shut out now Jacksonville is going to have zero and San Francisco is going to have 38. The look on that guy's face as we try to comprehend what you're saying is like, you know, like in golf.
Speaker: and then we watch the game and if the quarterback throws a pass, be like, double play. Let's go. Let's go. We're going to get a hat. We're going to get ahead. That's a triple right there. That's a trip. Yeah. He's going to knock it out the park. I'm telling you, it's going to be a hat trick. He's going to slam dunk that. He's going to slam dunk that.
Speaker: I wonder how long before you get our asses kicked. We just wait, then at halftime, completely flip the script on them and go back and then like, be like, oh, yeah, like Jacksonville's defense is looking really good tonight. Man, they've held Brock Verde to, you know, a hundred yards passing.
Speaker: Yeah. You know, you know, like I'll break it in debt, like break down the whole fucking game. I learned it all in the first half. Yeah. My brother, he already left. Right. His halftime starts.
Speaker: I'm no Johnny bench, but, and then go into like dropping real football. Can I get six shots, please? Thank you. We're getting everybody drunk tonight. They're all for me. No, they're, they're, they're all for me. I just, I'm so confused right now.
Speaker: like crazy amounts of stats, but accurate. Like, you know, the defense switched to a cover four instead of a three, four nickel back nickel defense. You know, they would be able to shut down this run game a little bit better and and confuse the passing game. Watch the guys had explode.
Speaker: And I literally, for anybody watching or anybody listening to this, I just threw out a bunch of bullshit just for the story. Don't come at us and really, you understand that a nickel defensive package is meant for this and the three, four cover four wide. I'm just saying. I always run a cover four. I play Madden. I run a cover four all the time.
Speaker: I don't know, because I'm like, yeah, that looks good. I would put 400 rushing yards in the first half on you if you're running a cover four. I don't know what I hit. Yeah, that looks good. I would rush you. I always hit the ask Madden button. I'm like, yeah. If you were running a cover four, I would hit my tight end on somebody like slant runs or quick in and outs and just to just eat you alive on Madden.
Speaker: I used to play with a buddy of mine. He used to come over the house. We used to play Madden on PlayStation 2. I mean, this is how long ago this was. But I had Madden and he's like, and this motherfucker, I don't care what I did. He would intercept every fucking ball to the point where I'm damn near throwing the fucking controller at the screen going, God damn it. Up until the most recent Madden, Cam and I have played most consistently.
Speaker: You know, we, we have our little group of guys and, um, actually that brings me up to, that brings, that brings me to a, to a topic here real quick, but I want to go ahead and throw this out here. Um, yeah, we got our group of friends. It's cam and Justin who are brothers and then our buddy Brandon and Kevin and I, who are friends in real life. And we've been friends for close to 20 years now. Um, if not 20 years at this point.
Speaker: But we used to all play online. We play Call of Duty and stuff like that together. But then we'd all separately play Madden together. And I've been whooping these motherfuckers' asses for close to 10 years now, just beating the brakes off of all of them. Raymond kind of stepped away. He got busy with real life. And he's got 75 kids that he purchased online. And one does.
Speaker: I mean, it happens. He's also a seven foot tall Asian guy. Uh, the jolly green Asian, as we call them just, it's just a, just a cry baby vagina face videos when the squads finally meet. Yeah. And Kevin is, is not even 40 yet and acts like a 75 year old Manny. He has dinner at three o 'clock, goes to bed by five o 'clock and.
Speaker: You know, he doesn't have time for video games. He doesn't have time for video games. So Cam and I are really the only ones who play video games together anymore, but I've been whooping these cats his ass in Madden for years. And anyways, um, but it, you know, Cam is finally starting to, you know, he's got, he's got a couple of wins on me in the last year or so. Uh,
Speaker: I try to take it a little bit easier on him, but he is getting better. He is getting a lot better. I gotta give him credit. But no, this is a group of guys outside of me and Kevin. The five of us, we became friends and became super close playing Call of Duty. None of us had met in real life outside of Kevin and I. We played together for like a year before I realized that Justin and Cam only lived like 20 minutes away from me in South Carolina.
Speaker: And Cam was like 15 when he started playing with us. And I ran into Cam for the first time. I was at a wrestling show. My ex -wife bought me a ticket to go to wrestling in Charleston. And I was walking through and I said something to somebody. I think it was just like random conversation. I think we might've been commenting on our shirts, like our shirts that we had on.
Speaker: And Cam was there and he turned around. He was like, Glick. Yeah. Nice. Because he heard my voice. So I met Cam that night. And then, um, when we moved into our house, I was literally just moving everything by myself, all the furniture, everything. And, um, I put a post up because I showed like the back of the truck and I was like, where's my two minute truck guys at now? Check this out, but not the game, whatever. Just kind of.
Speaker: weird flex. And Ken was like, and I said, I'm doing this all by myself and cam comment. And he was like, are you really moving all by yourself? And I said, yeah, I don't know. I don't have any family or friends down here. So, you know, I'm doing it by myself. He's like, we'll be, I'll be there in 20. And him and a buddy has showed up and helped me move. And we were literally moving into like two o 'clock in the morning. So I mean, it got, you know, shout out to cam, you know, but, um, and then him and I, moving by yourself sucks.
Speaker: Yeah. Well then, you know, him and I got to hang out a few times and his oldest daughter, Gracie, she was just a little tiny baby at the time. And, you know, and they would come over and hang out from time to time. And then, and then through that, I got to start hanging out with his older brother, Justin. So, you know, it's one of those things where we built a friendship online without even ever knowing each other or seeing each other, not even knowing each other look like or anything like that. Just a friendship online to the point where, you know, Brandon and I, uh,
Speaker: We still, I can't really vouch for the other guys, but I know Brandon and I, we talk every day. Sometimes it'll just be a goofy snap. Sometimes it'll be long, long, you know, conversations. I mean, to the point where I asked him to be one of my groomsmen. Right. Coming up. And he was like, holy shit, dude. Like that's, that's wild to me. I was like, I know we've never met, but you're one of my best friends.
Speaker: And that speaks volumes on the friendships that are made in the online gaming community. Oh, yeah. There are guys or girls that play video games with each other for years and never meet, never know each other. But when they finally get that opportunity to meet, it don't matter because you've already noticed for nothing better. You want to see something fun. Go on a TikTok or YouTube and put when the squad finally meet.
Speaker: Yeah. Online squad filing me. Those videos, I've literally seen grown ass men run and hug each other. Like, but like jump into their each other's arms. Like they, you know, you know, like the old videos of the woman running and jumping in the man's arm and appeal. No, I have no doubt in my mind that if Brandon's able to be one of my groomsmen in this wedding, that's exactly how it's going to be. Yeah. Him and I are so good.
Speaker: You and I haven't seen each other in person in, what, 25 years. But it would be the same thing. It's been, it's been, yeah, 23, 23. Oh yeah, bike to almost 23 years. 23 years. So it would be the same thing. No, straight up stiff arm you. You know, I, so
Speaker: So speaking of jumping into people's arms, this just popped into my head. There's a video. I watch I watch this woman do she does reaction videos. What's going on? Dobre. Jeff, check this reference out and I'm going to nail this fucking reference. I'm going to. I mean, I'm going to rock this fucking reference out. All right. When we finally get to hang out again and I say when because it's inevitable, we will eventually hang out again. I'm going to put you in a backpack.
Speaker: like I'm **** Luke Skywalker and you're yoga. How's that for a reference? The only reason I know that is because the bad lip syncing.
Speaker: There's a, so I watch, I watch this woman. I usually watch her on work. I, you know, I have my phone sitting on my desk, usually sitting right there. And I have, I have Facebook up and I have this woman. She does these reactions. I watch her on Facebook mostly because fuck YouTube. And she's, she was talking about this gender reveal. And this dude is stupid excited because he's having a girl. And
Speaker: the wife throws a baseball at him and he hits it with a bat and of course it they go puff of pink dude freaks the fuck out and runs over and jumps and sits on her belly i can get a point where you're like that baby's gonna pop out because he literally jumped up wraps his arms and his legs were half as small as he's sitting on the baby bump like she won't get burned in about a few seconds
Speaker: Yeah, no, like I said those those online game and any gamers out there like any real gamers You know, like I said, you know that those online friendships are are as real as any friendship you'll ever have in your life, you know Brandon Brandon I don't talk or like we don't game anymore. He doesn't have the time and I'm not on there as much as I would like to be Um But
Speaker: But we still talk every day and and we. Yeah, we watch kids. We've watched each other's kids grow up. We've we send videos of our kids. We we you know we we talk about. Yeah, everything and anything so there's no doubt in my mind that you know if if and I'm really hoping that he he he can. I just understand. I mean he said he's in Oklahoma or the
Speaker: the wedding stuff is gonna be a PA. They've got four or five kids. They both do Ironmans and marathons and try whatever the hell you wanna call them. But I have a feeling that if it's able to work out, it's gonna be one of those really weird, awkward, emotional guy moments.
Speaker: You know, I have people that I've been working with for three years. And like the one, one of my friends Elizabeth and I, we'll, we'll get on the phone with each other. She'll ask, she'll call me to ask any question about this or that. And then we'll sit there and just shoot the shit. And like an hour and a half while we'll get our work done. And you know, uh, one of the guys that I've just hired, you know, he'll call me and we'll shoot the shit for a couple hours throughout the day. And so, you know,
Speaker: It's just, you know, you're, you're, you're forced to work anyways. I'm forced to be on the phone with these people as opposed to, you know, just walking over their desk. Hard considering, you know, they're in, you know, I think Elizabeth's in Georgia and, you know, my, my buddy Mark, he's in New York and, uh, the bosses in Utah and, you know, but it's like one of my, uh, one of the programs that we're running, the,
Speaker: one of my brokers is in Texas. Now these guys call me three, four times a day. And like, these guys are, are planning trips to France for as soon as I'm there, they can come hang out.
Speaker: You kind of got between a rock and a hard place here with your last comment. Can't blame one of my favorite kids is a girl.
Speaker: I think I know what you're trying to say, but it's comes out a little weird. Well, no, it's like Kevin, Kevin, you like when Kevin does, he plays online, you know, he's, he's got three or four friends that he plays with online. I mean, Jesus, if I don't stop him, he'll play all fucking day and I'll fucking night. No, dude. Uh, Benji, a hundred percent. I agree with you, man. Uh, Benji games too in the chat. Um,
Speaker: I knew what you meant. It's just like the wordage is really weird. Um, best part about being, uh, being a guy and having guy friends is that guy friends don't want our guys don't want anything from one another. We just want to have a good time one. Absolutely. Um, Jeff and Jeff and I have been friends for 25 years. Um, you know, we, we just have fun together. Uh,
Speaker: I got, I got one guy that I grew up with, you know, we might not talk for several months at a time, but then when we do get together and hang out and talk, we just have fun, man. It was like, we never missed a, we never missed a beat. My kids is Godfather, uh, him and I, I met him through my ex -wife and him and I have been friends for close to 20 years. And, and we literally.
Speaker: If it wasn't for his schedule, like his work schedule, I wanted to start this podcast with him or have him involved with this podcast as well. But with his work schedule, he just can't do it. And I've tried to do the football thing with him and it's always one thing or another thing with scheduling. And like I said, he's not even 40 yet.
Speaker: you think he was 85 because he's dinner at two o 'clock in the afternoon and goes to bed at five o 'clock and I'm assuming he probably goes to work at like 4 AM or some shit. Yeah. He's got to get up at two and then he was like, Hey, what are you doing Friday night? You want to hang out and play cards? Well, I got to check my schedule. Who the fuck are you? The Wayne, the Rock Johnson. You're going to have your people call my, but you know,
Speaker: When, when guys to get together, man, when we hang out in real life, it's just drinking some beer, shooting the shit, talking about whatever. There are no, no complications. No, I mean, if you really think about it, if we weren't doing the podcast and we actually live close by to each other and we were, I mean, with the conversations really change. I feel like now, I feel like in all honesty, if you were here, if you were here in Ohio, more than likely we would be neighbors.
Speaker: To the point where, to the point where Tony and Nikki would probably be like, all right, you guys just live together and we're going to live here. You know, but it's like one of those things. It's like, I don't really see the conversation being different. Like, no, you know, I, I honestly would have like, what would you do in this situation or, or, or, you know, who could turn you gay? And it's like, well, Ryan Reynolds and Kevin Costner, you know,
Speaker: if i die first this is what we're doing you know yeah those conversations will still be had just we would be the only ones on the inside of the joke yeah we just
Speaker: and we would go back to our perspective, wives would be like, you've never guessed on Chris and I talked to him out of the door. And they would be like, how about you just go live with Chris? Okay. Chris, I'm moving in. Nicky's moving over to my house. I'm moving with you. Benji, I have three kids myself. Jeff's got a boy and a girl. I've got two girls and a girl. I have an older daughter. She's turned 19 this year.
Speaker: Yeah, I always forget. Jeff has two girls and a son. I have two girls and a son. My son's, my son's the youngest one. Uh, yeah. Benji says, uh, I have a boy like that. Or I have a, I have a boy. I have a buddy like that too. Um, it's awesome to have a friend like that. We can go a year or two years without talking and we hang out. Yeah, exactly. And, and, and I grew up with this. Look at, look at us. I mean, what, it was like, what?
Speaker: 10, 15 years, we didn't talk because, you know, we lost touch and, you know, I joined the Navy and went all over the world. And then I moved here and he went to Charleston and, and then I just happened to fall across your, your live on TikTok. Yeah. Like a little bitch. Because you didn't fucking answer me. And I was like, what's up, dude? You're like, well, fuck you then. Find it.
Speaker: Hold on, Nikki, um, thinks there's aliens outside. Oh, that's fucking crazy. Send that to Jeff on Snapchat. Oh no. You know what that is? Why? That's, um, because the Buckeyes literally won on the last second. Yeah.
Speaker: There's like flashing lights beyond the trees and we have a near a near OSU campus server. Yeah. I mean, I don't know that they celebrate Buckeye wins, but maybe tiny little concrete aliens like they have in Mexico. Yeah. They look like little, I got to find and say that video where it shows the alien laying in the, in the little coffin thing that they showed it in.
Speaker: And then somebody cuts into it because it's a cake. Yeah. It looks like they literally walked in there and then cut it. It's a cake. Unfortunately, Benji, unfortunately I had to move back to Ohio. I was born and raised here. Jeff was born and raised here in Ohio as well. Unfortunately, I had to move back because I went through a divorce. My wife left me.
Speaker: And, uh, I found out real quick in South Carolina that, and I've said this a million times on here, so we'll keep it short and sweet. Um, South Carolina, that's have no rights. And, uh, she decided her and her new boyfriend, they were moving, they were moving, they were moving back to Ohio. Cause that's where he was from and, and whatnot. And, and I didn't want to be 12 hours. Uh, I didn't want to be 12 hours away from my kids. So I, I left Charleston.
Speaker: and came back to Ohio and started all over again. Uh, well, I was not bad. I just fucking, I just fucking hate it, man. I want to be back in Charleston so bad. I loved it down there. And Nikki and I have talked about once, once the kids are, my kids are done because her kids are already grown. Um, once the kids are growing up and older than you,
Speaker: old. She's so old. I mean, I mean, I'm going to be 22 in October and uh you know, she's forty -three. I got me a. I tend to tutor a cougar. I tend to. I like to be in the car.
Speaker: Seriously, if any time you guys come out to France, if you guys get in the car with a stream, there's a bunch of yogurt in the car. I tried to say that loud so she could hear me. She's obviously ignoring me. What? But she said, I'm listening. She's clearly ignoring me. I lived down in Charleston for about 10 years. Now, what we've talked about when the kids grow up and
Speaker: Once they're done with school and they're doing their own thing, we both want to move down south. And I told her, I said, for me, my top three places are Charleston, Galveston, or Tampa. I want to be in the south and I want to be on the coast. And number one, obviously, is Charleston. I love it down there. But at the end of the day, it's also going to depend on where we are in our careers, too.
Speaker: She can go anywhere. Right. I agree. I missed over the whole coast thing. I've lived on the coast for 20 years. I'm done. No, I miss Charleston so bad. I miss living down there. Like, like when I left Ohio, I was never homesick. I'm homesick now that I'm back and I'm not in trouble, but Ohio never really felt like home to me. When I got down to Charleston, that was home.
Speaker: Like that was the first place it's ever felt real to me, like Ohio has never really felt like that to me, but Charleston did. So obviously Charleston is number one on a list of places I want to go back to. Yeah, but I did the same thing, man. When we left, I'm not close to my family as it is. I mean, I literally.
Speaker: talk to my sister and my broaster and my family and that's it. Um, so it wasn't that big of a deal for me to just dip and take off. Um, but, uh, am I talking to myself? Is it future Glick? I was going to say, Jesus Christ. But, um, did you change your name? No, but like, I mean, look at me. I mean, I moved all the way to Cancun. I got out of the Navy and yeah.
Speaker: But I moved down here with the company and then the company went belly up and I was like, fuck it. I'm already here. And I was already dating somebody at the time. Yeah. If I wasn't a good dad, I would still be in South Carolina and I probably would have never been kind of, if I wasn't a good dad, I'd probably be back in Ohio. So, I mean, the upside, the upside, the upside about coming back to Ohio.
Speaker: If I was still in Charleston, I probably would have never met Nikki. Uh, because let's be honest. She's not from Shitsburg. She's just a Shitsburg fan, but I mean, I mean, I still know.
Speaker: Yeah, man. Well, I didn't turn into Robert De Niro, but I was still in Charleston. Can you milk me, fucker? Yeah, that's still the reason I'm back home in a while. And, you know, and I've been back home five years and, uh, you know, about a year and some change ago, I got full custody of my kids. My kids are with me Monday through Friday. They're with their mom on the weekends.
Speaker: And, you know, it's all worked out. I got a really good job. Um, you know, and, and the only, you know, the biggest downside outside, I have to come back to Ohio was I literally started all over again. Like I was fucking 18 men. And I, again, I've said it a million times on the show. I literally started all over again. Like I was 18. I was on the very, at the very bottom, I left a job making, making six figures a year and Charleston.
Speaker: and had a beautiful house and lived in an amazing neighborhood with awesome neighbors and. Walked away from everything. And came back here and started from the bottom and. No, I didn't work for Boeing. But you know, I my kids have always been my number one priority. And they have to be, you know, that's the thing.
Speaker: But I'm not upset. I have no regrets. The only regrets I have is if I'd have known then what I know now, I would have never left Ohio because to be a hundred percent honest with you. Uh, when I left Ohio, I worked at Ohio state. I worked for the medical center at the Ohio state university. Um, and I would be retired next year. Yeah. I'd be fucking retired at 43 years old. I mean, 23 years old.
Speaker: Yeah, I've been fully retired at 43 from a state job Yeah, so I had all my same benefits. No, I didn't work for bone. I actually worked for a work in pest control I just had a really big route my route was was very profitable and I Was really good at what I did
Speaker: I was, uh, I was, uh, I was, uh, John Goodman and then arachnophobia. Let's be honest. I was, I was an assassin. I was a hired hit. Let's be honest. I mean, yeah. So you're, you're basically saying you're one of those guys like, yeah, I'm actually John wick for bugs. I mean, basically, I mean, I have.
Speaker: millions of millions of confirmed kills under my belt. I am the world's most in the world's most dangerous assassin. We'll just leave the bug part out of it. In what? In what? In what what?
Speaker: don't worry about it. I have I have millions of kills under my belt. Well, I worked at Orkin. I was going to say we're not leaving the Orkins in the we're leaving all that out. I can't keep up this resume here. Oh, bro. Fuck you. Fuck you. I don't fit in crawl spaces. I don't get I don't go to crawl spaces. That's that's fucked up.
Speaker: I've been in cross places. That shit freaked me out to this day. I got PTSD for my shit. If your son likes what he does, I love doing it. I really enjoyed it. I got a construction background. I've done construction my whole life. Um, if you really, if your son likes what he does, tell him to check out Orkin. Orkin's a good company. Um, they pay really well. And, uh, like I said, I, I was making,
Speaker: I got some people that are not on money there. Yeah, I don't do crawl spaces. I'm too big. I'm six foot two, two ninety. I'm too big to go in your crawl space, ma 'am. I don't do crawl spaces just because. Yeah, we know. Yeah, you will.
Speaker: Since I've been home in Ohio, I've had Like 14 different jobs I'm on my I'm on my sixth job, but I'm not going anywhere but You're leveling up it's not like you're just
Speaker: getting fired or something like that. And I've, and I've progressively moved up and I'm with a, with a property management company now. And I love my job. I love my company. I, you know, I, I love. Lucky she can't be impregnated otherwise I'll impregnate that. She said, shut up.
Speaker: that's the equivalent of a **** you, Shorzy. Yeah, that was a **** you, Shorzy, if there ever was one. I know. It's it's all about money. I make really good money now. Um and and and no stress. I love my job. No stress. No aggravation. No frustration. I'll tell you what. That's the only problem. My job is the stress. My bosses are super
Speaker: you know, the company that I work for is, is amazing. I didn't realize how big they were until I'd been there almost a year. And I was like, Holy shit, this company is fucking massive. Yeah. Trying to, trying to get you to give me, you know, you find a job you're happy with, you find a job that's going to make you some money, you pay your bills, you might have a little spending, a little extra spending cash and, you know, ah, okay. So you're your own boss. Nice.
Speaker: You know, that's kind of like this podcast. We don't make a lot of money off this podcast, but we're starting to and eventually I'd like to Hopefully make this podcast my source of income But you know, I'm the boss. Hey, you know what they say on letter Kenny Jeffrey If you love what you do, you never work a day in your life That's just that's always been the same thing Wasn't like my job. I love my job
Speaker: My job does come with a lot of stress and mainly because I am the boss. You're doing as well, brother. You sound like you're doing big things, man. Taking care of yourself, taking care of the family. Hell, yeah. The problem with my job is - And future Glick does not see himself - I know, right? ... in crawl space. Are you a time traveler? Well, he does crawl spaces. You don't do crawl spaces.
Speaker: The next comment is going to be like, click, I hate to break it to you, but in four years, you lose a hundred pounds and you fit. And you shrink, you shrink by a foot and a half. And you become Jeff says what, baby? Where do you want to go? I mean, not a whole lot of places we can go right now. I mean, you're going to went to Walmart and got liquor.
Speaker: I'm not allowed to leave the house in gray sweatpants. I haven't seen those since the last time we bought them. There's not even a space for them on the show. We got the Walmart app.
Speaker: Yeah. You look on there and click on the in store to see. I don't know. Walmart delivers, don't they? Yeah. I shot that ****. Nicki got a new sweatshirt for for spoopy season and it says girl summer and spooky **** spooky **** season. It's actually a really cool every day. What? I'm giving you a
Speaker: I got it. So I'm giving you a check for that's a mammogram woman. Calm down. It's kind of cool. Absolutely. You should probably have more than a beer. I'm a raging alcoholic and I'm a terrible influence. Yes. Don't even yes me. You hear women who heard me say shot fired. You said throwing shots. I said, I want to throw shots.
Speaker: I keep telling you guys, she's the female version of me. She's over. She's technically future you. So maybe you become friends.
Speaker: Number seven I am also on not number seven. I'm actually on number eight
Speaker: No, I'm a number nine and a quarter. Did you throw one away? Because that's eight right there. Five, six, seven, that's seven. These are 16 ounces or judging 12 ounces. So these are six back is actually eight. So I'm on nine and a third. You got to learn beer economics lady. Yes. You're, you are a bride. But not like I have to have a wedding dress, Brad. Oh.
Speaker: Were you like David's bridal and shit? Something to pretend to be fancy and drink champagne and try on wedding dresses. We're going to be each other's. We're going to be each other's bridesmaids to go have fun for a day. Yeah, that's fine. Because I fell down a rabbit hole of rhinoceros and say yes to the dress. And I was like, I just want to go try on an actual wedding dress. I'm telling you, this motherfucker is Future Glick. No. This goddamn Benji.
Speaker: He's drinking 60 ounce cans as well. I'm getting us some booze. It's only 11 o 'clock. Door dash. I don't know. Look and see corner shop. Well, I mean, I'll, I'll drive you go. Wait, you drive. I buy. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Let's be honest. You've had like 12 beer. You don't have to get out of the car.
Speaker: but I'm leaving my gray sweatpants on. Yes, I'm on my 716 house beer. I've had no beers. Are you my spirit animal, Benji? How old are you? That was a solid though. See, I know I'm not even allowed to. Oh my God. Yeah, Chris.
Speaker: Chris, you're his spirit animal. Wait a minute. We're both 41. I mean, I'm 20. Oh, that's right. I keep forgetting you younger than I am. Or does Walmart have anything you'd be interested in? Tell Charlotte. Nicky was born in 80 as well. Wow. So Nicky was born the same year I was.
Speaker: Do you think she's my twin? Twinsies! No, as we've discovered before, you were adopted. I am. My parents died when I grew up in an orphanage. Do you have a giant beard and look like a Sasquatch too? Just say it. What baby? My parents died and I grew up in an orphanage, like Oliver Twist.
Speaker: I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry.
Speaker: Oh, wait. Benji, how tall are you? If this motherfucker's my height, it's it's twins but like the Danny DeVito, Arnold Schwarzenegger twins. He's five nine. So, he's he's average. Five nine. He's yeah, average. Like my pecker.
Speaker: No, we didn't say microscopic. We said average. Oh, sorry. I misheard that. My bad. I apologize. Sorry, Jeff. Jeff said I have a microscopic penis. She said, no, you don't. It's like a damn thing. I'm a giant woman. Benji, I'm three. Who's your favorite? What is your favorite dinosaur?
Speaker: what oh i like the way that sounds hey baby velocirapt no damn dating show i feel like i found my long lost twin brother i know it's like like twin brother but slightly shorter
Speaker: Yeah. Well, and apparently his beard shorter and his penis is larger. Evens out. That's why you have such a long beard. I like, I like that math. I like that math. That's good math and right there, Jeffrey. Yeah, it is. Gloria said amazing. And that's why my pecker is so small. I see. Your beard stick out longer than your Dickey do.
Speaker: I was gonna say, yeah, you guys only like the equivalent of Danny DeVito without the muscle. I got these guns. Nevermind. You can work out for like 10 years and not look like Schwarzenegger. I could work out for like a year and look like Schwarzenegger. No, you couldn't because you drink too much.
Speaker: You'd have to give up alcohol, which tells me right then and there, you can't do it. No, first and foremost, no, I wouldn't. Why do you think I started drinking light beer? Bro, I dropped. In less than a year, I went from 325 to 260. And for the first time in my life, I had a six pack in less than a year. And I was still drinking beer very heavily on Saturday nights, mind you.
Speaker: But I switched the light beer. So you say that's the determining factors, the light beer? No, it's more actually having a routine and going to the fucking gym. Well, yeah, that's my problem. I. Oh, I only had two and a half beers yesterday. Two and a third beers. But I also.
Speaker: literally worked for 19 hours yesterday. So that was fun. Why are you muted, you jackass? I typically I'll drink anywhere from six to six or six or eight beers Mondays and Wednesdays when we do the show.
Speaker: And then Saturday nights, it's the kids aren't here. Uh, the kids aren't here. They go back to their moms on Friday, Saturday nights. We do the show and I just kind of fucking plow into some beer. Uh, I will drink on a Saturday night during the show. The show should have ended an hour ago. Uh, but during the show, I might drink from
Speaker: 12 beers, but then after show shenanigans sometimes my fiance and I jump on tiktok Um And then we drink more and other other nights so it just depends I used to Yeah, but you know, you don't like on a day's you're not doing the show. You're not a big drink I mean you might have one or two, but you're not You know because you know and as we've discussed on the show a lot um
Speaker: in my early twenties, I was a raging alcoholic. I was drinking 24 seven. I was literally, if I was awake, I was drinking and I was a heavy equipment operator at the time. Which just makes us explode. Me saying that is nothing compared to your fucking table saw. Hey, at least I was sober.
Speaker: Yeah, but you probably you think you probably shouldn't have been. I saw my fingers. I'm just saying I was still waiting for you to fucking your foot flops to kick off from underneath you and you take that fucking saw blade right to the gut. I mean, I love you to death, bro. But God damn, that would be the the that would have been the coolest goddamn online video ever.
Speaker: I'm going to go on a boy. Um, no, you know, in my early twenties, I was literally, if I was awake, I was drinking. I'd get up in the morning. I'd have half a bottle of Jack Daniels for breakfast and three and three Marbles go to work. I had a cooler in my, in my, in my dozer, my equipment, or in my truck or whatever full of beer at lunch. I'd go refill the cooler.
Speaker: I drank my fucking face off when I got off work. I drank until I passed out, man. I didn't have control. Now I have control. So yeah, you know, I don't, I don't drink like I used to. And there's still the, you know, like Nikki and I go to have fun. We like to cut loose. Like last Saturday night, we, we both got shmammered. It's not that hard. It's really not. Um, I was a heavy equipment operator for about four or five years. I literally run anything and everything.
Speaker: I like to say that no drinking, you know, like I said, I didn't have control of the addiction. I don't have the addiction anymore. But now I'm in control of my alcohol consumption. I like to drink during the show. I like to, you know, have a few beers and cut loose. And then there's times where, you know, Frankie and I are sitting here at the house and, you know, the kids have gone home.
Speaker: And it's like hey you want to or Friday nights. It's like if she's home because she's a bartender But if she's home or something, it's like hey, let's go out Let's go get dinner and have a few drinks and you know, whatever happens, you know we might end up back here at the house and be drinking until 2 or 3 in the morning and fucking around on tik -tok or whatever or We might go to a friend's house But you know
Speaker: Yeah, I try to do that too. No beer before 12 PM. During the football, I like to watch football and drink beer. Saturdays, not so much, but tomorrow, the Browns are going to be playing. I'll probably get up, do my fantasy lineup shit. I might try to pop into my buddy's show and join in with those guys and everything like that.
Speaker: And then, you know, I'll probably crack a beer, but I mean, like, I'll drink like four or five beers throughout the whole game. Now we went to Nikki and I were at the, um, uh, Nikki and I, she's the Steelers fan. I'm a Browns fan, but her dad's been a ticket season ticket holder for, uh, the Steelers for 30 some odd years or some shit like that. Um,
Speaker: We went to the game last Monday night. I didn't want to pay the stadium prices, but I think I had about 10 beers at the game. But I wasn't driving very front row, first seats, 35 yard line right behind the Steelers bench. I was having fun. I know the pounds lost, but it is what it is. So like I said, tomorrow I might drink a six pack tomorrow during the game.
Speaker: He's getting phone calls from his wife. He's not a football guy. You sound like Jeff right there. If you were a heavy equipment operator, Benji said if I was a heavy equipment operator, I would 100 % want to own a gold mine. Jeff, are you alive? Yeah, no, sorry.
Speaker: talking to my wife. Because he said, did you die? No, no, she, uh, Kevin has a small cold. So we got to, the problem is during the week, he's staying at grandma's cause she takes him to school and stuff while I'm working because school that's out 11, I can't just bounce out of work and we'll pick him up. And he's got a mild cold and they forgot to send me the prescription so I could go pick up meds. So we have to go to the doctor in the morning.
Speaker: I gotta go home deep. I'll pick up a few things from there but so Jeff and I both born and raised in Ohio. Jeff from the Mansfield area. I'm from the Mount Vernon area. Bendy, where'd you grow up at out here in Ohio? If you don't mind the sex. What'd you say is going on with your wife? Oh no, Kevin days go to the doctor so I can get his prescription drugs.
Speaker: Oh, just give him five knuckle sandwich. That's what I told her. Yeah. Knock him out and he'll wake up fine. Rock him, sock him, and Kevin. Shit all over town. Yeah. Aberdeen is in Texas. Hold on.
Speaker: What the hell is Aberdeen, Ohio? What the hell is Aberdeen, Ohio? According to Wikipedia, Aberdeen is a village in Huntington Township, Brown County, Ohio, United States along the Ohio River, 50 miles southeast of Cincinnati. Cincinnati is on the Ohio River.
Speaker: How could you be anymore? You're basically in Kentucky, man, come down. Okay, okay, okay, I know where you're at. Yeah, I grew up, Jeff was out between Columbus and Cleveland in the Mansfield area. And I was between Jeff and Columbus and Mount Vernon's where I grew up at.
Speaker: Don't ask oh, hi. Oh, man. Oh don't gas Then I like I said Poe don't gas Ohio man On our Maysville is
Speaker: Oh, nice. Okay. Okay. Yeah. No, I looked it up. I know. I know where you're at. Yep. I know where you're at, man. Um, yeah, dude, you were literally like right smack there, man. You're basically Kentucky.
Speaker: Way down yonder, almost in the hollers, man. Absolutely, man. Now I, you know, I don't live where I grew up at anymore. Um, but, um, if I'm here, I'm kind of considering it because the area where we live now, I'm like, and we're talking about potentially buying someplace and I'm like, do you realize what we can get?
Speaker: house and property wise, if we went back to where I grew up at, I mean, yeah, it's going to suck because we're going to be a million miles away from where we work at, but at the same time, worth it.
Speaker: I mean, I can do something better than having a bunch of land. I can. And I mean, and I know it's not a lot, but I can, I can easily, easily snatch up 10 acres in a house. I'm talking four beds, two baths, full basement, whatever this and the other thing. We're a quarter of what it's going to cost to buy a house where we're at now or in the area. No, that's the same thing that I'm looking at is, is.
Speaker: Most people want to live in the city because it's close to the jobs. I don't want to, I don't, you know, and the beauty of my job is I work online so I can work anywhere. So I, that's why I want as much land as I can buy. Fuck the winners. Cheers to you, brother. I remember that. That's another reason why I'm looking at. Uh, yeah, I, I'm,
Speaker: My body's too fucked up for the winners, man. I don't, I don't like the winners at all. It hurts. It hurts too much. I don't have that problem. No, I'm not a football. You could, you could, you could follow, uh, you could, you could follow Jeff on only feet. I got my only fans.
Speaker: Yeah. You can, you can follow Jeff at only feet .com. Uh, uh, name, uh, dusty little dusty spunk on only feet. I actually, I actually worked for a company in the state. Uh, I work online. We do, uh, uh, tax saving programs. He works for Ponzi scheme up here. Businesses with their property taxes.
Speaker: We help green energy. We, we literally turn businesses into off the green energy. I thought you were one of our programs. We have, we have six different programs. We do credit card processing, uh, preventative healthcare, green energy, uh, property tax savings, AI tax savings, and government grants.
Speaker: AKA Ponzi. And the employee retention credit. AKA Ponzi, AKA Pyramid. How is that a pyramid? I'm down, Bertie Madoff. We actually help people save on taxes. Property taxes alone, I helped a company the other day save over 160 grand a year. I get commission. Yeah. But yeah, we do. We do.
Speaker: We're, we're in the process of going to mission. Yeah, you do. But no, I love my job. I run a team of nine and nine year old. Um, I had to, I had to drop to your mom comment because shorts. He's always going in on Jonesy and Riley's mom. Yep.
Speaker: I made your mom come three times short. Fuck you shortly. That's what I did to your mom last night, Riley. No, no, I, uh, taxes equal taxes. Well, that's why, that's why we help save people with that. I'm a sovereign citizen.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Go to the IRS and tell them that. See how well that works out for you. I don't know. I was worth a try. That's what you're going to say to the judge. That was a shot. In my defense, your, your honor, judge magnificence. What, what, what is it? What Adam Taylor said? That fucking, that's why boys like, I thought they were taking that off.
Speaker: Listen, listen bro. Can I call you bro? I call you bro. What do you mean no? I may or may not have been drinking when I declared my sovereign citizenship. Let me just say it. But if it helps matters any, I am a quarter Indian. I mean Indigenous person. In the past
Speaker: I don't have to pay taxes. Luckily, I don't because I live in Mexico but I still pay taxes because if I do go to the States, I would go to jail. Go to the States. You're going to jail anyways. When you when you did that, you know, you're on the road. Yeah.
Speaker: What do you have to do when you're in France? They have extradition from France to France. I'm going to call the cops and be like, hey, he's in France. Extradite his ass. Extradite his ass so hard. Is there a reward for that ass? Is there?
Speaker: You owe us 50 cents. Well, could you stop calling us? I want the reward. No, you're pretty honest. Click, why are you going to hell? Well,
Speaker: I'm going to get me started on that. That's the conversation we have every day. We can spend tax money overseas without a exactly without American people's agreements that I should be able to not send money to the I agree 100%. Well, we just sent them more fucking money to the yeah, but we sent them weapons for days. Yeah, it's conspiracy theory. I know your conspiracy theory guy. I am not but check this conspiracy theory out.
Speaker: I came up with this the other day. Oh, Vladimir. Oh, Pootie McPooger pants says I'm going to invade the Ukraine and the Ukraine says, bitch, you better fucking think twice because we ain't backing down and the US says, never fear Ukraine. We're here. We're going to send you money and military grade weapons. But
Speaker: Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Hollywood McPancy pants over there in the Ukraine and old Pootie McPooters over here. They've had this whole plan filled out all of this. They're going to pretend to go to war, kill a whole bunch of people all to get money and weapons and military grade, this and the other thing from the, from the American government. And then hit us with, you know, reverse card Russia and Ukraine invades America. Hey, how's that for conspiracy theory?
Speaker: And I'll sit back here in Mexico and laugh because - And I'm going to be sitting here in Ohio going, Uber race! Right? Sorry. Sorry. That was a whole dance. See, thanks for dancing with me, Jeff. I just wanted to yell over. 100 % dude. That is a documentary. I'm sorry. I'm just saying like, I'm just saying like how much of a,
Speaker: that would be the I mean, no, I'm not like I'm not hoping this happens or anything like that, but they'll be the greatest Uno reversal card ever pulled in the history of Uno reversal. It wouldn't happen. It wouldn't surprise me one bit. Giving them billions of dollars. Not only that, but we've given them weapons for days. But hey, hey, hey, you guys in white, you're stepping up her buck. Benji's dancing with me tonight. See, I like this Benji.
Speaker: I'm just saying they were, they were talking about that on the Mike gotcha show the other day. And I'm like, son of a bitch. Are we being set up for the Okey doke? Oh, I mean, you, you sacrifice a couple hundred thousand lives. I don't know how many people have been killed in this whole Ukraine, Russian thing. You sacrifice a few, few lives here and there. But I mean, at the end of the day,
Speaker: You get to put one over on on America and you get to slap us in the face. Well, look who's in charge. Really? And then I then then and oh, pretty make booty pants and Hollywood McGillicuddy. I would like to remind you guys World War Two when the Japanese thought they got one over on us. Hmm.
Speaker: Japanese thought they got one over on us when they attacked Pearl Harbor and then we dropped a bomb on her ass From a plane called the I know I'm gay. I mean I know I Have a little little Look around and find out you're creating and Russians you you talked about red dawn Wolverine And I know you're I know you're not a big big Grand Theft Auto fan
Speaker: But on one of the radio stations, the country radio station, as you're driving around and listening to the country radio station, on Grand Theft Auto, there's a commercial for Ammo Nation, which is the gun store, and they're like, we'll be showing
Speaker: We'll be showing three viewings of the documentary Red Dawn tonight at 7. Every time it comes on, I fucking lose my mind. It cracks me up because it's this real rednecky dude is the commercial voice.
Speaker: He's like, we got our slats and prizes. And every Wednesday we show the documentary Red Dog. I'm like, fuck yeah, Wolverine. It's literally the greatest little Easter egg in Grand Theft Auto ever. I see you're reading my mind, Benji. The old one. New or old? The old one. The new one's okay, but the old one is perfect.
Speaker: Yeah, except for the fact they all die. I think everybody dies in the old one. I prefer the old one. But I think they really, I mean, I got to give credit. Yeah, I enjoyed them both. I got to give credit where credit's due. I think they did a really good job. The surprise death of old. I have seen that movie probably 20 times, the new one.
Speaker: and every time when Thor gets blasted in the face. Damn, man. Yeah. Chris Helmsworth. Ladies and gentlemen, we know who. It's Chris Helmsworth. Dude, it's it's heartbreaking because he's going to have a beer with this bitch and then he's gone.
Speaker: Whoa. How much fucked up? Yeah, I enjoyed both. I really can't pick up one over the other. I thought they were both great. I thought the cast and both movies were great. The casting. Well, I like that in the new one, they, you know, they, you know, they were in the original. It was the Russians and the new one. It was what was it? Chinese. Chinese. I like how they updated it and everything like that. Yeah, I'm not mad at them.
Speaker: I enjoy them both equally. I'm gonna call it like, I'm gonna call it Spade to Spade. I think they were both great movies. The only problem I had is the ending of the original is, you know, they actually give it an ending, you know. Call Spade to Spade. Ending the new one, ending the new one, they give, there's a possibility, what, like,
Speaker: There's a possibility continuation. You get a you. Yeah, you get a little in and I mean, let's be honest. Hold on a second. Let's be on. Let's be honest. Let's be honest. I think they they left it with an open ending because Hollywood is Hollywood and who doesn't love a good sequel?
Speaker: I mean, okay. Hold on a second. Let's be honest. Who doesn't love a terrible fucking sequel? Who doesn't love a terrible fucking franchise that has 20 goddamn movies? I should have never been made. I'm talking to you. Right. I'm talking to you. Fucking. Michelle Rodriguez, how many of you really make this? Also talking to you, Saul, who's coming out with their 10th or 11th goddamn movie. Exactly.
Speaker: But no, I know the Red Dawn movies, both of them equally enjoyable, equally good. Nothing massively bad about either one. Both of them had great cast. Oh, you know, when the original Red Dawn came out, you know, we were still
Speaker: Uh, to a certain degree, we were still worried about living in that threat or that shadow of the, of, of the Russians. And, and then said for years that, you know, in 20 years, everybody in America is going to be speaking Chinese because they're so far ahead of us. Um, right now California just passed a law that you have to, uh, report in your taxes, your carbon footprint for business. California is our own little.
Speaker: I'm just saying. California is a weird Hollywood is. Hollywood is Hollywood, man, and I wouldn't be mad at them if they if they continued like they left it open -ended.
Speaker: to where they could they could create a sequel that shit. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't be mad at it as as long as. You stayed on the same. You stayed in the same way we're in when you when you did that movie. Don't don't do a sequel and completely fucking hit us with a one in the fucking G .I. Joe. There's still high school kids, you know, are slightly older than high school kids. Yeah, you can't you can't make them, you know,
Speaker: you know, shoot a sniper around like Mark Wahlberg in the movie Sniper. I fucking hate you. However, I do want to see that movie. Yeah, actually, actually, that might be that might be the first Saw movie since Saw one that I would want to see because I would love for Jigsaw to have the entire cast of Fast and Furious locked in a death cave.
Speaker: California is I would love to see jigsaw Fucking the whole movie the whole goddamn movie with his great acting skills goddamn What's his numb nuts? Toretto Ben Diesel family whole family family. I am family I am like, can we just fucking kill him and leave? Yeah, call us a movie a day
Speaker: If we kill this asshole, can we leave? I don't like this all franchise. I don't like the best affairs franchise. But if you did a collaboration, I'm in
Speaker: Okay, besides that crossover, Chris. That's a good 10 times a day. If without the soft crossover, what is something that would pull you into the Fast and Furious universe? Nothing. They all drove badass Broncos. You put them all in the white bucket Bronco.
Speaker: We're going to we're going to take OJ's Bronco and yeah, yeah, I know. I watched the first Fast and the Furious movie and I was like, all right, that was pretty cool. And then I was like, oh, the second one. Oh, look, they got more American muscle. All right. Not a big fan, but, you know, and again, hey, hey, Tyrese, you fucking twat. You are not a tough guy. Nobody's buying me. I mean, that dude is not in there for the paycheck.
Speaker: You're not a tough guy, bro. Literally. You, you got famous. You got famous in your, in your panties for Calvin Klein. And what? Sure. Will you bring me a beer? Yeah. You got famous for Calvin Klein or Tommy or whoever the company was. And then you got, then you got a little bit of extra fame.
Speaker: because uh you you you died and and and and uh fucking Tony Braxton song which was a great song. Yeah. And you did baby boy. That's a great song here. Grab your beer. Huh? Grab your beer. Sorry. Jesus Christ. I was trying to help her out.
Speaker: I just can't stand me. You were destroying Tony Braxton. Let's be honest. Yeah, I was chilling man. I was singing this shit. Not a good way. You were murdering Tony Braxton. Oh, I murdered Tony Braxton. I murdered that booty. She's full of Kurt go banging when she hears that shit. Easy Galer. Easy Galer. She's like, you know,
Speaker: I'm going to play a little click, click, boom. Hey baby girl, if you want to play a little click, click, boom. What's that? Take your pants off. Click, click. Where's the zoom? Where's the zoom? You feel that? You feel that? No. Oh, I punched you in the mouth. You feel that? No.
Speaker: 100 % I Even though there's a million plot holes. I love back the future best multi -movie series any decade any genre any franchise Well, you're a horror guy so you're gonna go you're gonna say fucking Halloween cuz you're fucking Jamie Curtis open No, no, um
Speaker: Gotta say And I in Actually, no actually shit I love me from Indiana Jones, too Okay, so I love the rocky franchise the only down right you franchise was that supposedly Supposedly between Rocky 4 and Balboa
Speaker: Hmm. There was a Rocky five movie. I don't regulate that or I don't recollect that. I don't think it exists. Uh, and, and, and nobody's going to convince me otherwise that Rocky five exists because it just don't. This guy, Jeff's, Jeff's taking me seriously. There was a Rocky.
Speaker: I'm not taking it serious. I'm proving you wrong. No, I mean, I said in my world, I am not the only person who feels his way about Rocky Five. God damn it. I'm not the only person. I've seen the Rocky films. I've been on. Yeah, no, I love the Rocky franchise.
Speaker: But i'm not the only person out there in the world. There's actually a lot of us that have erased rocky five Because it was such a shit movie to the franchise Which one that one what happens with that one? Does rocky box somebody he beats up the tommy guns who was a real life? Okay, the tommy gumbo. Yeah, okay I will agree with you the tommy gun thing. Yeah
Speaker: And so I said, Rocky five doesn't exist. And I'm not the only one who feels that way or things that way, but, um, um, I would probably say one of my favorite, um, multi -movie series that never really went off the rail and stayed true to itself. Yeah. It is. I, as a horror guy, I love, I love horror movies. Nightmare on Elm street, man. It was literally nightmare on Elm street. I knew you were going to go hard.
Speaker: rock solid. Well, you know, Halloween, you got Halloween one and two great, great movies. And then it jumped the shark and they did this like three and four. They did season of the witch and it had nothing to do with it. The only thing that the only thing that those Halloween movies did was introduce us to Danielle Harris and, and, and, and she was a child.
Speaker: When they came out I was a child because I think she's a little bit older than me or right around the same age And and I freaking love Danielle Harris She's Just Yeah, yeah, I just I just I just have a huge and and and she's she's a great horror actress and that's what she's made her a
Speaker: living in her name off of is the one of four movies and I do have a crush on her, but you know So they kind of went off the rails with Halloween Friday the 13th did it twice man. They did it and and and and Friday the 13th I Think 8 Jason takes Manhattan. Oh Shit, I don't know if that's me or him. Am I still here? Is Jeff still here? Am I not here?
Speaker: Um Uh and and and I think it was eight Jason takes manhattan that made no fucking sense Then they tried to revive it nine and then they went to fucking space and ten that didn't make any goddamn sense Um Yeah, I think it did okay good i'm still here usually it's my internet that takes the shit his durable he's got to go change out gerbils and
Speaker: Uh, but as far as, uh, a franchise that stayed true to itself and, and, and continue in a good continuation and, and, and rock the storyline out. And I'm a horror guy. Um, was, was nightmare on Elm Street. It's solid, solid answer. Thank you, sir. I do like the Rambo series. I really do. Cheers to you, by the way. Uh, I do like the Rambo series.
Speaker: I'm digging. I'm digging expanded expandables. I know it is what it is. It's not meant to be anything other than just straight up old school 90s action. No, his he lives in a third world country and his Internet is ran by.
Speaker: Yeah. And you go feed the gerbil. I said the hamster died and you had to switch it out. No, there's a there's a power surge with the Internet for a minute. Basically, it reset the router. I'm trying to think of what other franchises out there that I. That I really enjoyed. I'd have to go back in the future is right up there.
Speaker: Even the original Karate Kid movies were good. They were. Indiana Jones. What was... Oh fuck. I've never been a big James Bond guy. Although some of them I do like. The Cannonball Run series. I like that.
Speaker: Oh, let's see. I got to give and I think this is one that I don't think anybody thought of and I just thought about it. Who Terminator? That's not bad. No, I think after the second one, I was kind of out. Yeah, Terminator one and two were were great, but damn, that franchise went to hell after that. Here's one. That I just thought of while I was committing a felony. Yeah.
Speaker: little boy's penis. I wasn't playing with it. I just had it in my hand. No. Little boy's penis is mine because it's as small as a little boy. Calm down everybody. Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters one. Ghostbusters two. Ghostbusters afterlife. afterlife and and they're going to be coming up the there's there's a sequel to after afterlife. I'm not saying I mean, I'm not mad at that.
Speaker: It was it was corny. Ghostbusters was really campy, really corny. But it was but it was huge when it came out. I mean, yeah, it was it was it was huge. And then and then they did that the whole all female cast, which was a fucking disaster. Horrible. But then they did afterlife. And I got to say, as a as a kid who grew up, I was I was really impressed with. And I and I grew up and I love and I love the first two Ghostbusters movies. I mean, I still do to this day as a grown ass man.
Speaker: Um, and I watched them first time when I was a kid, uh, when after life came out, I was hesitant to watch it. Uh, I watched, uh, remake that they did with, uh, all the, all the, uh, Leslie Jones from Saturday Night Live. And Chris Helmsworth was the receptionist. But, uh, the epitome of go woke, go broke.
Speaker: Yeah. When I, when I finally watched, uh, when I finally watched after life, I was like, wow, man. And I mean, they made, they made his granddaughter look just like him. And then, and then they, and then they did my man. They did my man so good in that movie. Well, I mean, that, that little ghostly. Yeah.
Speaker: I kind of pulled at your heartstrings. Oh, I loved it. I really enjoyed after life. I'm looking forward to the sequel to it. You get to see the original Ecto 1 and everything like that. You see Murray and all those guys. And then Egon gets that. He's a ghost at the end that was so cool. It was done. It was done. It was done really well.
Speaker: it was and and this goes without saying but huge shout out to the MCU. I mean, the MCU has done everything perfect as far as franchises go and and and and movies. Well, I was just going to say, you know, I I do like the Iron Man trilogy. Trimmers is definitely a trimmers is
Speaker: is flawless framers too was good after that it kind of went shit i've kind of poo pooed on trimmers trimmers great concept for a movie man great concept great idea but as the series uh progressed and grew it was like all right stop it this how many of these how many of these things can there really be
Speaker: I mean, they were all good. Don't get me wrong, but it was just like, it's time to put it to bed, boys. It's time to put it to bed, boys. Yeah, it was like that. I love Reba Mac, Karen knows two movies. The first, well, the first one was, yeah, I know you'd watch it. No, you know, like I said, first three.
Speaker: The original first three of Indiana Jones, I don't mind Crystal Skull. I thought I actually enjoyed Crystal Skull. No, I don't know much about Indiana. It was never my type of thing, but I can agree with Shimmers. Shimmers after the first one, they knew what they had. It was like Sharknado.
Speaker: I'm not a fan of Sharknado, but my kids loved every all 37 goddamn Sharknado movies there were. They knew what they were doing. And this is why I got to give Trimmers respect. And I can't shit on Trimmers too hard. Because they knew what they had and they knew what they were doing. And they didn't try to go anything more above that. They knew they were a B -movie. They knew that they were just...
Speaker: Yeah, they were just having fun with it. And that's exactly what Sharknado did. Sharknado never expected the success they had after the first one. And I don't even know how many goddamn Sharknado's movie. I don't know what they were. They knew their identity. And that's the problem that I have with like the Fast and the Furious and the Saw series. They really think there's some fucking or or here's another one that I don't fucking like the purge. I actually the first
Speaker: First two purges weren't bad. Then they get into the other ones. I was like, Oh, let's get over it. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I got it. I a hundred percent. I'm right back at you. I'm meeting you with that. Uh, uh, Turner stayed in their lane. Sharknitter stayed in their lane. That's what makes it great. Not killer clown. Oh my God. I love killer clowns. Chris, Chris, I thought of how to make you into fast and furious.
Speaker: Kill Vin Diesel? Mix it with your favorite movie. What's my favorite? Mix it with your favorite movie of all time. Barbie? No. We're going to mix it with, uh, what's up? Oh, God damn it. I can't remember what the name of the movie of all time is. No, what's up? Oh, fuck. It's going to drive me nuts. I'm having a mistake.
Speaker: Oh, I love these movies, man. You disagree with me. The Stephen King movie. Did you just agree with me? Oh, my God. Maximum overdrive. There you go. Maximum overdrive makes fast and furious. I'm fucking in.
Speaker: Maximum overdrive and Christine. Oh my God. The car is driving by itself. I guess I'll say, this is literally what I said the last time you brought up Christine verbatim. This is what I said. Oh my God. The car is possessed. I'm going to stand in the alley and let it run me over. There's a door right there.
Speaker: I can go in the building, but he wasn't in an alley. He wasn't in an alley. The fucking matter. He could have went in a goddamn building that was right next to him. He was literally trying to get in. You're talking about when I killed the fat guy. Big Fest is awesome. He was in a loading dock. He was on a loading dock. The lizard guys. Beer fest, super troopers. Broken lizards, dude.
Speaker: Do amazing movies. What was that one with coconut pea? Oh, yeah, that's uh, um fuck Fuck you jimmy buffet coconut pete is fucking son of a son of a son of a bitch What was fucking called? Club dread. Yeah club dread Yeah, yeah beer fest No
Speaker: I should run outside What do you what are you running outside for all the cars are possessed? You think you're gonna jump in a car and drive off reason why? They couldn't leave that they had to leave the building. It was because the little Jeep had a fucking machine gun Oh
Speaker: It's a goddamn mopar. At the end of the days, transmission is plastic. It's eventually going to give out. They teased it. They teased it at the end of beer fest, but they say it obviously didn't go anywhere. Plus them teasing it basically killed it right away because, as you said, Hollywood shit all over it. But like Super Troopers 2 wasn't. But I do want to say it's actually not.
Speaker: amazing, but it's it's it's got some good jokes in it. Yeah, we've got to. And they know they make fun of Canada. We love the Kevin Smith movies. We fucking love Kevin Smith. Dude, Dogma. I fucking love that movie. What's that? Yeah, have you seen Tusk? No, that's got that's got a point.
Speaker: Right? No. Tusk is, um, Harry Potter. It's got, uh, Justin Long, Justin Long and, and, uh, uh, fucking the dude from six cents. Hailey Joel Osman. Yeah. Yeah. I heard, I've heard that movie is so.
Speaker: And I didn't realize that it was that it was
Speaker: TESD But we're in this goddamn show. Holy shit. We're fine. I know shit for five hours running out of tape Yes, I don't know what that is yeah, I Have not seen Tusk yet and and and I think Tusk is just because anytime I hear anybody talk about it. They talk about how I Was speaking of fucked -up movies
Speaker: Oh Brian Johnson and and yeah, I've seen clips Brian I know it's not about yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um Every now and I listen to him, um, I watch this movie today But excuse me while I was posting episodes of the show
Speaker: It was called exist Wait What's it about cuz I might Hold on You know, I love horror movies, you know, I love terrible B rated D rated whatever you wanted to rate them Horror movies and you know, one of my favorite genres is the found footage genre, right? Right because this was a Found footage ish type video
Speaker: movie This movie was so bad bro, it was five friends two brothers two chicks and Another friend and of course the one brother was dating one chick and then the other chick was dating the dude who came with them and the other brother was a
Speaker: Kind of nerdy, weird, but was in love with the other girl who was dating a friend and blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada. And he was recording everything. They went out to their uncle's cabin years ago when they were kids, their uncle was out there and he's seen something that scared him so bad. He never went out. So they had to steal his keys. Didn't tell anybody they were going out there and went out there while on the drive out there, they hit something. Oh.
Speaker: I was like, Oh, shit. What was that? What did we hit? You know, they got out and looked around. They didn't see anything like, Oh, fuck. It was a deer. Whatever movie progresses, you know, having fun. They're drinking. They're smoking by. They're going swimming. And then they'll think, well, the nerdy guy who's recording everything, he records this creature in the woods. And nobody believes them. Wow. Yeah. Well,
Speaker: Then he's fucking, he becomes obsessed with it. So that night he's out there outside the cabin and he's recording and he's like, Hey, if you're out here, blah, blah, blah, we're friends. You don't have to be afraid at it. And they hear the noises and they see movement in the wood, but it's all at dark and it's night vision and whatever.
Speaker: And they're like, the girls are scared and like, fuck it. We're going to leave. We're going to leave every recently. So the next morning they get up and they run to the car where they had to park the car like a mile away because. Because that would make too much sense to have a tree had fallen down across the road. Oh, of course I had there. And then they got this Jeep Cherokee and it's trashed, fucking smashed to hell. The roof smashed in. There's a whole ass fucking tree through the car.
Speaker: Like what is even going on? Okay. Anyway, so they go back well the Older brother, you know, he's like I'm gonna I'm gonna jump on my bicycle Because I'm faster than everybody else and I'm gonna go until I get service on my phone And they keep showing glimpses of this creature in the woods, right? Damn you mother nature
Speaker: So I'm literally spoil of this whole ass movie for everybody but check it out We're all gonna find it Love terrible movies check out existed or exist. I'm sorry exist. It's on it's all and they go back to the cabin and and the older brothers like
Speaker: Nobody knows we're here because we stole the keys. And Uncle Bob hasn't been here since whatever he's seen scared him so bad. And of course, they're one friend. They're one friend. He's a black guy. Of course he is. Yeah. He's going to die. So the brother takes off on the bike and he gets to a spot in the woods where he gets a signal and he calls 911 and the operators coming through crystal clear.
Speaker: She's like 911, what is your emergency? And he's like, my name is Matt O 'Brien and we're at 212, blah, blah, blah, the cabin at the end of the road. She's like, hello, hello, hello. And all of a sudden the creature appears. It was the first time you actually get to see the creature.
Speaker: And he was like, oh, shit. And he gets on his bike and he starts to pedal as fast as he can. It made me once in a while, you see him look back and he's got a GoPro on his helmet. He's got a GoPro on his handlebars. But he gets to see the creature, the creature, the creature, the creature, then it's a fucking fallen tree falls over. The creature drags him on the creature. Spoiler alert, the creature.
Speaker: is my people at Sasquatch. Nice. So Sasquatch kills four of the five people. Uncle shows up as Sasquatch is getting ready to kill the fifth person, right? The dude who's recording everything. Sasquatch is like in the camera. And uncle shows up.
Speaker: shoots the Sasquatch in the shoulder. Sasquatch like, Oh shit, it runs away. And uncle's like, yo, we got to get the fuck to the truck. Let's go. And then the Sasquatch shows up. I don't know where uncle, the guy that's recording everything. He's like, Oh, my name's Brian O 'Dolliver. And this is my last movie. Then he zooms in and it shows the, where the, where the uncle just blasted the Sasquatch in the shoulder. It's all ripped apart, shows his face zooms up.
Speaker: And it was like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. We never meant for this to happen. Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada
Speaker: But the whole reason the Sasquatch was mad was because the thing they hit was a baby Sasquatch. Well, that'll do it. They killed a bunch of Sasquatch. So mama Sasquatch was killing everybody else. It was a terrible movie. You mentioned, dude. At this point, y 'all don't even have to watch it. Best part of the movie is a guy has a different shit almost every single time.
Speaker: And then pan back and it's him in a different shirt Yeah, sorry if I rule it exists for you but it's on it's No, no, they're not a paid sponsor. Go ahead and go jump on your prime video and watch exist. I mean it's It's Dude, my favorite horror movie is cabinet. I was once again
Speaker: What happened in the woods? What happened in the woods is so good. Fucking genius. Such a good movie. The horror guy. I'm not the horror guy. And most horror movies I'm like, this is stuff. This is stuff. Just leave. Don't go outside or go inside. One or the other. But the cabin of the woods is such a... You want to talk about something that needs a sequel.
Speaker: that was a that was a great movie and it was an as as a guy who loves horror movies and and you know let's be honest as far as horror movies go on this show I'm the go -to guy when it comes to horror movies right you're like you're the go -to guy when it comes to anything automotive well where does this sounds well excuse me
Speaker: Because you're not a sports fan. Sports movies are your forte. 100%. I love me a good sports. I'm getting ready to watch. I'm getting ready to watch. Uh, that Kevin James movie about the coach, uh, up of the saints. Oh yeah. Yeah. Good movie. I'll watch it again.
Speaker: Cabin in the Woods was such a good movie and such a great twist on the horror genre that at the end of the day, it really throws the horror slasher, the horror slasher slash monster movies into a tailspin. Well, yeah, because depending on what they open or slash pick up in the basement area,
Speaker: Determines what's gonna happen? You know, they they open that they open that one thing and they get the Whatever it was it was killing them two people that there was a list that you know These people are you know, the the controllers so speak our can our are making bets on what they pick up Yeah vampires it could have been raging hillbillies. It could have been this that or the other thing
Speaker: So that's a, that's a genre that could have been redone. It was one of those movies, as far as horror goes, that successfully did a very good job of intertwining. Cause, and I've said this a million times on here and, and, and, and, you know, you're a big movie guy and I'm a big movie guy and Tony was too, but.
Speaker: The horror genre is the only genre of movies that has so many different subcategories and allows you to explore so many different worlds. And Cabinet of the Woods did a really good job of intertwining multiple subgenres of the horror franchise into a movie.
Speaker: That one, Benji said, I like that one movie. I can't remember the name of it. It was about two people that could soul jump and it was back in New Orleans. Great movie. It was messed up. Soul jump. The hell are you talking about? When you say that, I think of that, that movie that Denzel did, Denzel did it and John Goodman was in it. What the hell was the name of that movie? Oh, uh, where, where?
Speaker: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There was a movie where a demon would jump from person to person. Oh, John was in it. Denzel was in it. There were cops or something like that. And basically at the end of it, Denzel went out in the middle of nowhere so he could only the demon could only transfer himself from person to person by touch or whatever. What the hell was the name of that goddamn movie?
Speaker: And if he was in a body that was killed, it only had so much time before it itself died. And Denzel went out in the middle of nowhere and killed himself. And there was a really good Rolling Stones song at the end of that movie. The movie he is discussing is called Buck Jumping or Soul Jumpers. Soul Jumpers, maybe.
Speaker: It might be a soldier. Um, but Denzel went out in the middle of nowhere and killed himself thinking he was going to defeat the demon. And there was a fucking random ass stray cat and the demon was able to jump into the cat. It was like, Oh, shit. So you're talking about movies fallen. Yeah. Oh, great. Yeah. 1998's fallen.
Speaker: Great movie. It was, it was, uh, it was more of a thriller drama, not as kind of borderline horror, but, um, definitely in that horror genre with the thriller concept. Great movie. Well, sir, it is getting on five hours. We need to wrap it up because this is going to be a long episode. Dude, I don't know if you've realized this, but, um, ever since we, uh, fired Tony.
Speaker: Every episode has been like five hours. I was going to say, let's talk about buttered sausage. Talk about buttered sausage, where it comes from, what it does. Why is it doing what it's doing? Get it out of my face. What about buttered sausage? That's not your jam. It's not your thing. You don't like it. It's not my jam. I don't buy jam. I buy honey and I kiss it on the lips. Buttered sausage.
Speaker: I love that fucking video. I bought honey. I guess I bought it. Yeah, I bought it. Clip we need. We need a clip. We need a clip. I'm not sure which clip. We need a clip from Harley Davidson the marble. Just because.
Speaker: I don't know which one I obviously would probably hardly saying it's better to be dead and cool than alive and uncooled. For foremost, Harley never talked like that in his life. Harley's not country. I know enough. I know he's not. There is.
Speaker: He said, you can't shoot for **** You squeeze the trigger. Don't make it. It's not. I love that movie. I love that movie. Holy **** The best thing is is they
Speaker: As Don Johnson, I hate you. And tell me that's not us. We jump off a fucking pool and then one of us is like, let's do that again. We get in the fucking pool and Arley's like, that was fun. Let's do that again. Yeah, but that movie Don Johnson, I hate you Arley.
Speaker: Fucking. Because I made you jump on the fucking building and you're scared. He's like, fuck you. I ain't doing it. Shit up there getting shot at. I fucking love that movie. It needs a sequel. Don't try to shoot his runners like some things don't change. Like it's such a snide remark and missed by so many people watching that movie. Oh, my God. Damn, Harley.
Speaker: You really gotta do it like that. He can't. He can't. He can't. That fucking shitty Calis Rocky. He's driving. But you gotta give him props. He was able to wheelie Harley's FX, FDX. Yeah. Fucking down the road while he was chasing Virginia. That was fucking dope. That's impressive as fuck. Harley was long. Virginia said. FDX was not short.
Speaker: Mm -hmm. You would be Jack Daniels in that movie. The big arm -lessing guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He actually saves them when they're robbing the armored truck. How would I be the Mexican? Neither one of us would be Harley or Marble Man. Oh, no, I'm not saying we are. I'd probably be the old man that owns the bar. You'd probably be Jack Daniels.
Speaker: Let's be honest. Let's be honest. She'll be Jack Daniels' girlfriend coming. Virginia Slim's boyfriend. I know she. She. I know Harley. I love that movie. That's a great movie. That's one of my favorite. That's probably one of my favorite damn movies. And I hope they just leave. That's one we never get told. Never rebooted.
Speaker: No sequels needed. Just that that movie in itself. I would like to see it. You know, Don Johnson and Mickey Rourke in a movie together would be cool. Another one. But that that that camaraderie that if you did that sequel. If you did a sequel, you have to have a minute and.
Speaker: It's more about where are they now? You know what I mean? Right. And then a little bit of action because obviously the goddamn boots. Yeah, no, you shouldn't touch that fucking action. Harley Davidson and the Marvel Man.
Speaker: Probably one of the greatest standalone movies in my opinion in my opinion. Oh, no Greatest standalone movies of all time Nobody actually uses their real name no because Marvel's name is actually Robert Because Virginia calls it Robert yeah, but but
Speaker: Harley every else goes Harley is he actually has a real name, but you never find it out. Yeah, Harley Everybody's nickname by Daniel's drinks fucking Jack right out of the fucking bottle Jose Cuervo is the Mexican guy. That's a guy who I'm thinking of Jose they call him Jose those incredible
Speaker: Old man is, is, is a reference to, uh, uh, it's a, it's a hard alcohol. I don't know my alcohol. I'm not the raging alcoholic. Um, but it's, it's, it's some sort of, um, I can't remember what it's called, but you got, um, Jim Bean.
Speaker: is played by uh he's Lulu's brother which is who's Lulu is married to Harley Davis or married to Jack Daniels. Lulu is the only one that I think is actually uses their name. I think so. I've never put the connection to where Lulu would be unless she's unless she's named after um
Speaker: You can't you have to use the light I actually own it Yeah, I own the DVD. I have it. I have it on DVD. Yeah, I know I can throw it in my PlayStation like Nick you probably kill me Where can I watch Harley Davidson on the Marvel man?
Speaker: Oh, it is on it is on TV and it is on Amazon. I was going to say it's on Amazon because that's where I watch it. It's on Pluto for free. It's on TV for free and you have to have an Amazon Prime prescription prescription subscription. We had to take a break. We had to take a break from
Speaker: We've been going to bed the ghost adventures big way. Well, I came across this Really good series people is people magazine people investigates on HBO max or max whatever But it was it was really fucking Nikki and I up because they were covering a lot of cases where Kids were murdered kids were killed Okay
Speaker: And it was really starting to get to Nicki and I so we had to find something else to watch And I just was like fucking i'm just going to throw ghost adventures on Zach Baggins is a fucking twat 91 That's when that movie came out But i'm gonna try to throw it on tonight i'm kind of in the mood to drink more beer I was looking for a
Speaker: I know somewhere online somewhere, there's a list of what, you know, Jack Daniels' name after Jack Daniels, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But like, they never call Jose, Jose Cuervo. You assume his name is Jose Cuervo. Uh, Jimmy. Jimmy Dees. No, he's his name. Jimmy Giles is his name.
Speaker: When you meet Marlboro, he's actually playing pool with a gentleman. His, his character's name is big Indian is what big Indian. I'm assuming Indian motorcycle. Now, Sig Indian, no big as a big beginning. No, I wouldn't think of it. No, it was probably just because he was an Indian. Well, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: because his first line is you can't have smoke in the children. Yeah. No, you go ahead. No, you go ahead. Fuck you. Fuck you, Charlie. Fuck you. We've come to the end of the road. You know what?
Speaker: Have a little I look I have a little tribute for our final song. I Already have the final song. Oh But mine's a tribute to me to what our haters Oh Yeah
Speaker: the two of the two of the two of the
Speaker: All right. We're just trying to say is we appreciate y 'all. We appreciate y 'all listening. I hope we enjoyed the show. We were kind of all over the place tonight. It's Saturday night. It's what we do. We have fun. We hang out in here, you know, a shout out to the chatters box. We appreciate y 'all chatters box is always open to you guys. Don't be shy. Don't be, don't be scared. Come in and hang out. I promise we're friendly. We'd love to meet you guys. We love to.
Speaker: Interact with you guys. If you're new to the show, if you don't know what the show is and just kept coming across this, go ahead and drop the comment, man. We, we, we like to interact with you guys at the end of the day. We'll change the whole ass plan for the show. Uh, at the end of the day, and we'll rock with the chat. You are, you are the reason we went into movies. Yeah. I mean, today was not my fault. No, it was not your fault. We, we came back from our last break and I had a plan for something and I didn't plan for this show to be over five hours long.
Speaker: But at the end of the day, I do. I love the chatters box, man. I really do. And you guys don't be shy if you're hanging out and you're watching us live. Say hi. Say what's up. We can pull the e -brake and stop on a dime and pull a 180 and take the show into a whole nother ass direction. And whack the intellectual about any subject
Speaker: It's a great thing about Jeff and I as we can literally talk about anything and everything. We're, we are very knowledgeable. We know what we're talking about or not. We don't know. I'll, I'll fact check us. Uh, but we do appreciate you guys listening. We do appreciate you guys hanging out. Hopefully you enjoyed the show. Could not already go ahead and check us out on them. Socials, Facebook, Instagram, tick tock. It's going to give it to you. Yeah.
Speaker: Don't forget to join us live every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday seven ish on YouTube and Facebook live. We are on Twitch as well. If you want to watch this on Twitch and if you miss us live or you can't join us live, go ahead and listen to us anytime. Anyplace on Zincaster and Spotify and everywhere. Listen to podcasts that.
Speaker: And if that's too hard for you to handle, go ahead and go to bio .link slash nonsensical nonsense. It's going to give you all our links to all of our platforms, not only that, but it's also going to give the links to our sponsors. Like W and liquid IV and Zincaster. If you're a podcaster, you're thinking about creating a podcast, go ahead and check out Zincaster, get your hydration, right. And wage war on big. Yeah.
Speaker: and join the nonsensical nonsense slash W energy army. And don't forget to use our promo code words are hard baby.
Speaker: We need to drop the tone to drop the music down
Speaker: We can't bow down. We got a whole **** army coming up to us. Let's roll. Roll tide baby. Oh **** Some uncle daddy just impregnated mommy Grammy. Roll tide baby. Roll tide.
Speaker: Yeah, go ahead and check on it. Check on all the downsets. We're not as bad as the, as, as you may hear, we are. We actually enjoy having fun. We enjoy hanging out and Jeff. Yeah. No drama. I know. No. We've had no trauma in the past. What?
Speaker: No drama and this was this was the first episode where I actually contained myself and I didn't take a shot I didn't take unnecessary shots No drama no nice remarks in the comments no sideways passive -aggressive comments from goes Just having fun Anywho
Speaker: Wrap the show up. We got one final song for you guys tonight. It's my man, Nathan King, doing a cover of Jason Aldean's She's Country. Yeah.
Speaker: She's a hollerin' on number in her pickup truck, Daddy's sweet money done jacked it up. She's a party all night, her from South Carolina, Bad mama jammer from down in Alabama. She's a raisin, cajin, lunatic from Brunswick, Juicy Georgia peach with a big Southern drawl, Texas swinging wall, brother she's out.
Speaker: Country From a couple of boots to her down home route She's country From the songs she plays to the prayers she prays Left the way she was born and raised She ain't afraid to stay Country Brother, she's country
Speaker: A hill raising sugar when the sun goes down Mama taught her how to rip up the town She's a hunny drippin' hunny from the holler in Kentucky Get ya frippin' kinda trippin' like a Mississippi hippie She's a Kansas princess Crazy mother trucker, undercover lover Big southern drawl, sexy swing wall Brother, she's out
Speaker: Country From her double boots to her down home route She's country From the songs she plays to the prayers she prays But that's the way she was born and raised She ain't afraid to stay Country Living by the country I think somethin' wrong Sexy twin and wall
Speaker: Running sheep country From cowboy boots to her down home roots Nothing but country
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, she's contrasting From her cowboy boots to her down -home mood She's contrasting From the songs she plays to the prayers she prays That's the way she was born and raised She ain't afraid to say, contrast Nothing but contrast
Speaker: She's all about the country. From the backwoods, she's a homegrown down to the bone. She's country. That's a good song.
Speaker: Yeah, I've heard it. Yeah. Yeah. They think he did a real good job covering that. Anywho, we're back Monday night with a brand new episode of non -sensical nonsense. I'll be here riding solo, doing what I do. Everybody's like, why is there, why, why are we only got four episodes of the click show? Why don't we get any more click show? Well, it's because I do a show solo on Monday's nights.
Speaker: Why am I going to do two? I work. Why? Why do I do? Why do two solo shows? You know how hard it is to a three -hour solo show and actually create some kind of. I couldn't do it. And not just are you with stupid people or. I can share the fucking camera for three hours. I mean, you know, I mean, you know how hard it is to a three -hour show with actual content and and and not just
Speaker: stare to screen or argue with people who don't matter or I don't know, play music the entire time. No, I mean, I get it. But I will I will forewarn anybody who's going to listen on Monday night show. It's
Speaker: I'm feeling a little dark. Ah. Things. But in here, it's a Saturday. That's Monday. Jeffrey, appreciate you hanging out with me as always, man. Love you, brother. Love you, brother. What do you want to let these people know? Oh, shish. You heard that, man. What is that other ring you have? What is that one? This one? Oh, so you didn't.
Speaker: Yeah, I just got like a little thing on the side then of course There's always John Fader saying hello You can't you can't I mean you can't rock it up I know my middle finger either I can get it down to mine I have to put these on
Speaker: That's as far as it'll go down fingers The beginning I don't necessarily have to do it when I did it a little bit tighter and That on the Darth Vader. It's it's the last one they had and it's their hair too big
Speaker: Basically all my fingers are the same size at the end of the day. My, uh, my ring fingers, my wedding ring doesn't have it. Yeah. My, my, uh, my, my, my ring finger is a little bit bigger than the rest, but even my pinky, it's not my ring. My ring on my ring finger, my wedding ring is like, yeah. I mean you on my ring, my ring. Well, baby.
Speaker: Yeah. Anyways, Jeffrey Dunn said this. Yeah. Well, that being said. Mazel tov. You're fucking. Oh, wait. Hold on a second. Is that what I'm supposed to say? I'm Jewish. Like 500 people. I'm Jewish, too. I can say that. Well, I mean, I'm like, I'm not I'm not a practicing Jew, but I
Speaker: come from a lineage, an ancestral of Jewish. Jewish stock, if you will. I am, I am Jew -ish. Jew adjacent. Hey, we're going to stick with the seven -ish. We're going to stick with the Jew -ish. Official time. Official start time.
Speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, be good or be good at it. And always remember, when you come to those crossroads in life and you don't know what to do and you got a little doubt in your mind, five simple letters, W W N N D.
Speaker: to buy motherfuckers.
