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002 - The Road to Orson (1905-1915)
9 Plays1 month ago
Class is back in session and your TAs - Hope and Stephen - are back to take a climb up the Welles family tree to see just how far the apple that is Orson fell. We're taking things right up to the birth the man himself, so get ready for a LOT of (necessary!) table setting.
Follow us on our (admittedly limited) socials to keep up with assignments and other exciting Welles-related news:
- @wellesupod on Bluesky and YouTube
- Read Hope’s blog at highimhope.com
- Listen to Hope’s other podcasts - High on Cartoons Presents DuckTakes! and The Matrix Reclamations
- Follow Stephen at @chewywalrus on Bluesky and Letterboxd
- Listen to Stephen’s other podcasts - Disenfranchised Podcast and The Pod and the Pendulum
- Check out Stephen’s novel - Check In, Check Out - on Amazon, now available in paperback or ebook: https://amzn.to/44idk8y
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Transcript
Introduction to Grover's Mill and Rogspot
00:00:01
Speaker
Ladies and gentlemen, by way of introduction... i don't think any words can explain a man's life....the broadcasting system and its affiliated station presents......Columbian Network takes pride in presenting......Rogspot.
Orson Welles' Playful Banter
00:00:12
Speaker
We take you now to Grover's Mill, New Jersey. Ladies and gentlemen, the director of the Mercury Theatre and star of these broadcasts......was a voice. Just a voice. I never really saw him.
00:00:26
Speaker
He was only......the hero. A great lover. And a dirty dog. Good morning. This is Orson Welles speaking. How do you do, ladies and gentlemen? This is Orson Welles. This Orson Welles, ladies and gentlemen. This is Orson Welles speaking.
00:00:40
Speaker
An unicorn. Well, here it is. anybody wants to see it.
00:00:48
Speaker
All class. Come on in. Take your seats. yeah Simmer. yeah get into Get in Come on. Come on. Move to the front. You should have already been here. Bell's already rung. Move to the front. Come on down.
00:00:59
Speaker
Did you bring enough gum for every... You did. Oh, well, keep it quiet. Go ahead and unwrap your candy now so it doesn't disrupt the lecture. Please and thank you. Is that a crunch bar?
00:01:11
Speaker
Gimme.
00:01:15
Speaker
Stephen. Hope. I have eaten so many goddamn Fritos since you told me ah about Orson Welles and Fritos the last time we were recording. You know what the really sad part is? They're not even Fritos. They're they're the generic equivalent I mean, nothing wrong with that.
00:01:33
Speaker
I mean, it's good on a burrito bowl. So I got that going for me. it It sure is. It makes for a damn good burrito bowl in point of fact. Very much so. Very much so.
00:01:44
Speaker
ah So. What are we doing this week? so And why are we doing it?
Introduction to WellesU Podcast
00:01:50
Speaker
And what are we doing here? ah well Well, this is WellesU, which is a ah ah study of the life and work of Orson Welles in as chronologic an order as we can figure it out.
00:02:02
Speaker
um We are your TAs for this session. i am Stephen Foxworthy. And joining me, as always, the incomparable. i get I get the as always. Nice. Hi, Hope Lickner. She, her.
00:02:17
Speaker
And I've been programmed in my brain to follow that up with high on cartoons, but right. We're not doing that here. That's not what this is. I'm going to have to shake that. Oh no. Okay, good.
00:02:28
Speaker
I mean, you're high, but this is not a cartoon. Not yet. That is irrelevant to the situation at hand. Yes. Maybe in like 10 years when we finally get to Transformers of the movie, we can do a Wells U high on cartoons crossover. but ah Yes.
00:02:44
Speaker
Yes. I think that episode was already called dibs on buybacks. I mean, we're solid there. Absolutely. It would kind of have to be. Yeah. But yeah, so this is this is our attempt. We are, as we mentioned in our last episode, not scholars by any stretch of the imagination, more enthusiasts of Wells and his work.
00:03:05
Speaker
Lovers, not experts. That's it. given given the the size of the font in ah Frank Brady's Citizen Wells, I expect to be nothing less than an expert at the end of This extremely long run.
00:03:22
Speaker
And if you would like to to see my Wells library, ah head on over to Instagram dot com slash Wells U pod.
Stephen's Orson Welles Discovery
00:03:31
Speaker
And I will by this point have posted a picture of every piece of Wells ephemera and media I own, including the newly purchased for me.
00:03:42
Speaker
Citizen Wells. I was at a used bookstore in Andersonville in the city of great city of Chicago. And I purchased a, I found and purchased a biography, ah Citizen Wells by Mr. Frank Brady, the same book that you have. So now we have that one in common.
00:03:59
Speaker
We do. Yes. I just wanted to, because, because books ah and different variations of them always kind of fascinate me. I have a library edition that has the fancy plastic wrap around the hardback and the ah dust jacket.
00:04:15
Speaker
But more importantly, the front of my book has Orson Welles as seen in F for Fake, which is just, hes he looks dark and mysterious. He does. But your paperback, yeah I note, has young, sexy Orson Welles. This is Orson Welles as he appeared in Citizen Kane, his first film. So his first and one of his last there.
00:04:36
Speaker
um Well, as he appeared in about a third of Citizen Kane. but Sure. Yes. Point taken. um But I mean, this is a well-loved paperback. So I look forward to to also loving it as well as its previous owner or owners. Because ah as we've said, ah we're big Wells fans.
00:04:54
Speaker
ah And as such, um i've I've been enjoying what what what I've been able to dig into of Wells so far in this journey, which...
Podcasters' Challenges with Orson's Early Life
00:05:05
Speaker
compared to what I said was going to happen last week is not nearly as much.
00:05:10
Speaker
Um, God. Yeah. We had such lofty ambitions. Hope ah we fumbled at the first yard line. Is that a correct sports metaphor? I don't know, but we, we definitely fumbled early in the game. I'm a theater kid. He said, taking a sip out of his cabaret mug.
00:05:25
Speaker
Ah, shit. They've got me, manning the penalty box at a Philly roller derby on Saturday. And, uh, That's going to be fascinating.
00:05:36
Speaker
oh i mean I'm announcing the second game, so that'll be even more fun. Yeah. Oh, yes. My derby name is the Millennial Falcon, as bestowed upon me ah by Mr. Stephen Foxworthy here.
00:05:48
Speaker
Here, here. i You're very welcome. I was so tempted to go with...
00:05:55
Speaker
Fuck it. It's my podcast. i'm doing i I can censor it if I want. ah But like I was so tempted to go with my one friend's suggestion of Cunt Cushion. um that is That is really good. It's so good. But kids go to those games. Yeah, they don't want that. Yeah. So Falcon...
00:06:12
Speaker
Millennial Falcon works. It's a really nice rolling up to just a shitload of sapphics on roller skates and getting called Falcon. You just feel important. Highly recommend.
00:06:24
Speaker
That's amazing. Good for you. Thank you. I'm happy i'm happy I can help you get there, honestly. Yes, I should send you a thank you card. I will accept it. Like a Chipotle gift card. um Yeah. so So what are we covering Today. So today, so listeners will recall, last week, the plan was to cover the first 16 years of the man's life.
00:06:50
Speaker
We fucked up so bad. So hard. Just immediately fucked this thing up. We fucked so bad. so bad. God, how did how did we fuck this up so badly so quickly?
Orson Welles' Family Background
00:07:01
Speaker
I'm really glad we're recording these before we've put any episodes out, because now we can actually release a properly accurate and updated syllabus for the class. Yes, absolutely.
00:07:12
Speaker
um and and And we can even put in that syllabus, disregard homework given by Stephen at end of lecture, um because that was completely inaccurate. No, this is, um so we, as as I got into reading, particularly Patrick McGilligan's Young Orson, which is a very, very,
00:07:32
Speaker
ah ah The minutiae of his early years is um well bespoken in that text. ah And, you know, life finding a way. we We're not professional podcasters. We have real lives outside of this thing as much as we love it.
00:07:47
Speaker
And so I found myself woefully underprepared. I'm sorry. I just clocked that life finds a way. i have to shout that out real fast or else Bex is going to get mad at me. Hi, Bex, if you're listening. Hi, Bex.
00:07:59
Speaker
Love ya. Life finds a way. love ya life Life ah finds a way. No, what am I doing? It's it's ah ah my friend. Life finds a way. am I doing Goldblum on a fucking Wells podcast?
00:08:17
Speaker
Anyway. okay. You know what? we should We should always put in as many impressions as we can in any episode. Yes. yeah that We're going to be spending eight years with this motherfucker. We might as well have fun with it Exactly. Absolutely.
00:08:28
Speaker
um So what we are covering today does not even include the man himself. In fact, this is... This is all preamble, but I think it's important preamble because I think this lays the groundwork for who the man would become. And a lot of the patterns, a lot of the ah traits that we see in his parents, ah Richard Dickhead Wells and Beatrice Ives Wells.
00:08:53
Speaker
I just, oh my God, I'm running like a second or so behind you in terms of like picking up on your jokes. That's going to be fun. The man's name was Richard Head Wells and he went by Dick. So his his name was essentially Dick Head Wells. Oh my God.
00:09:08
Speaker
That is not an exaggeration. man would not survive five minutes around any, anybody these days. Oh no. Hope, I have been holding that for three weeks. God damn it.
00:09:22
Speaker
I have been sitting on that for three weeks. God damn it. That's incredible. It's amazing. Right? Yeah. As much as I have wanted to tell you that I knew it would be so much more fun to reveal that live on the record. And I was right.
00:09:35
Speaker
God, that was a blast.
00:09:39
Speaker
I love that for all of us. Oh my God. Okay. Well, before we even really get into the whole meat of, um, uh, uh, everything, the, the meat of the man, um,
00:09:54
Speaker
let's I feel like I want to address the disparity between the homework that we had between the two of us, because I only have the one biography, as I said, Frank Brady's Citizen Wells.
00:10:05
Speaker
my brain wants to follow up the word Frank with Herbert yeah um anymore. I can't not do that. And another, another person to damn it, Frank, whenever, whenever I receive angry texts from you, he's, he's back from Savannah, by the way, my dad. And he's just like, he's, he's making up for lost time in terms of dickishness, which is, and at least he's a funny dick. So yeah, got that going for him.
00:10:30
Speaker
um But yeah, The section we're covering today covers is covered more or less in the first like three or four pages of this biography, out of which only 17 covers up to what
Historical Context of 1915
00:10:43
Speaker
we were supposed to have covered right today. So how many pages did you read?
00:10:48
Speaker
ah Well, I will start with... um ah Jesus, God. I will start with Simon Callow's Orson Welles' The Road to Xanadu, of which I cover, I read everything up through his time spent in Kenosha, after before moving out of Kenosha.
00:11:05
Speaker
So that was about 15 pages, not including ah the preface, which I also read. um And then the the the bulk of my research and the reason why I was so far behind um was from Patrick McGilligan's aforementioned Young Orson, um wherein i found myself reading 66 pages.
00:11:32
Speaker
ah Jesus God. In order just to get to the man's birth. So... Yeah. And now granted, I had a lot of time and had I not done anything else, I would have probably been able to read everything I needed to, but the attention to detail would have probably been lost under lots of broad strokes.
00:11:53
Speaker
So, so if I'm doing the math correctly, that clocks you at about 81 pages and the information that, uh, I am going to be able to contribute to this episode.
00:12:05
Speaker
um I promise I'll have more to say properly next episode. ah But my my total page count to your 81 is three. So... Now, in fairness, in fairness, the Callow biography does... cut Again, i I went up through Kenosha. It's specifically Young Orson. It is, though. And that's why all that detail is important. That's why you need all that preamble, because you're only focusing... Like, this Young Orson ends at Citizen Kane, which is where most Wells biographies are in such a hurry to get.
00:12:37
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I get why... Yeah, which is like part of why I'm like almost not looking forward to covering Citizen Kane. We're going to have to spend like three months on Citizen Kane alone. It's going to be the it that's got to be like the most talked about movie of all time.
00:12:55
Speaker
It is. It's up there. Yeah. I'm terrified. At least I have Grover's Mill. We'll always have Grover's Mill. We'll always have Grover's Mill. And the realization, Hope, that I made after we finished recording the last episode... Yes, this is exciting....is that the first 16 years of Orson's life all took place in a two-hour radius of my apartment. That's actually...
00:13:18
Speaker
There's too many coincidences stacking up here. Right. Or is it just providence? I don't know, here
Orson's Parents and Upbringing
00:13:25
Speaker
we are. we'll let We'll let wiser leveler heads tell us what that what this is.
00:13:30
Speaker
Dumb luck or divine providence, you tell us. I've always been a fan of dumb luck, personally speaking. but Sure, sure. Whereas I've always leaned a little more toward divine providence. So do with that what you will.
00:13:42
Speaker
Let's see. Let's see. It's how I got my job. It's how I got most of my partners. ah Yeah. Hits. Yeah. No. yeah So I got my cat. There you go. A rambunctious asshole.
00:13:54
Speaker
Yeah. Our cats were in fight mode earlier, so hopefully they've chilled out or we might have another flying cat scenario later. Yeah. I'm good. ah We're going to have to create like a stinger for a cat jump scares.
00:14:05
Speaker
Um, maybe I'll just cut in that dun dun dun. I don't know. Whatever. I'll figure it out. The, uh, the, what's that? That gopher on the, the. Yes.
00:14:16
Speaker
dramatic go Dramatic gopher. Dramatic gopher. That's it. Yes. Uh, God, the old internet memes. Internet memes of yesteryear. The early days of the interwebs. I remember, I remember Strong Bad's computer breaking in like live on the day yeah um and you know every day those damn things came out we were up and refreshing our home star until we saw the new strong bad email oh i had a whole routine we had high speed internet in the journalism classroom at my high school so i would just wander into that class because i was a copy editor her
00:14:56
Speaker
I would wander into class before a Homeroom started and just refresh Homestar Runner and see it before everybody else was in school. I was the cool kid. Put the word cool in heavy quotes.
00:15:07
Speaker
I'm doing a podcast about Orson Welles. So you're still the cool kid. I'm still the cool kid, damn it. Anyway. Anyway. so anyway so so three pages to We're going to be talking a lot about ah his early years. But just to like the point of we got on this text tear the other night trying to break down this into more reasonable chunks, which is what we ended up doing. Right. And you, I believe, said or somebody said Orson begins. Was it me or you? think it was you. That was you. And we went on this whole like Batman tangent. Orson's name in movie titles. Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:47
Speaker
But I was going back over my highlighted notes for this for this episode, for this chapter, and I realized that, first off, Any random given line would read like a Tumblr shitpost in modern day. Even just the nonsense about his ants would would make perfect sense.
00:16:09
Speaker
But like other parts that I have highlighted read exactly like CliffsNotes version of a Nolan Batman movie. Right. Like it's it's it's it's less like, why do we fold? That's the white.
00:16:22
Speaker
And more of like, bats. Bats. a You're afraid of bats, Mr. Bats. Yeah, it's it's obnoxious.
00:16:34
Speaker
He got his first magic set. He got his first theater set. ah He hated vegetables. He loved eating. It's like, oh, God, it's all here. It's right here. He was fully formed from the word go. Apparently that is, I think the great myth and reality. And again, we have to hold both of those things in constant tension here because that is Wells as a person, but that is the great myth and reality of Orson. Wells is that like the first clipping of him is as a 10 year old boy where he is like promoted as this, you know, this multi hyphenate at age 10, right?
00:17:09
Speaker
um Like the one of his um his one of his mentors, Dr. Maurice Bernstein, um or Bernstein, sorry, um said that his first recollection of Orson was him like at two speaking in like full complete sentences um and just like able to articulate words.
00:17:27
Speaker
and And pontificate wildly and beautifully. Like, this is not this is not your average child. so, yeah, the idea of him being fully formed from birth, from the word go, is sadly, bizarrely, truly accurate.
00:17:46
Speaker
It's going to be fun ah separating the man from his own myth ah in certain places. But at the same time, like, I want to believe. You know what I mean? Yeah.
00:17:58
Speaker
Yeah. Like, that's why we're here. yeah Exactly. there is... And I think we talked about this a little bit last week. Like the man is a raconteur, like the, he would make up the wildest stories and a lot of his accounts of his life are called into, called into question and are highly suspect, ah including some of the shit he says about his own dad.
00:18:17
Speaker
But on the other hand, like it's his reality as he sees it. And we have to hold those things in tension because he is his own myth. Um,
00:18:29
Speaker
It's not that he bought into his own myth. He became his own myth. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Touch an incredible thing to say. but And I think that's what makes him, for me at least, such an indelible one. of If my absolute favorite historical figure of all time is Wells for that reason.
00:18:46
Speaker
He's just an absolutely larger than than life. character. I am fully aware that he was a real ambulatory human being. Well, for most of his life, ambulatory. Well, for me like he got around is what I'm saying. win Wink, wink.
00:19:03
Speaker
um But like,
00:19:07
Speaker
He's a character. Yeah. He's like, he's, he's let, he, he's a caricature of himself. Absolutely. Yeah. And it's, it's truly insane. In a way that people like Adam West and William Shatner would become later. Like he was the proto, proto Genesis of all of that.
00:19:23
Speaker
Can you imagine Orson Welles on social media? Like, if he like we got Orson Welles when people wanted to talk to Orson Welles, or like or he was able to rent a camera and buy film.
00:19:36
Speaker
Can you imagine Orson Welles with access to Twitter or Tumblr or or Reddit or whatever the fuck? Like, it it would be like... it It would be like earth-shattering in terms of like...
00:19:53
Speaker
if It would be so crazy. It would be like if the president of the United States wouldn't fucking stop tweeting for the entire four years of his presidency and just managed to completely sway empires and blow things up just by saying things online.
00:20:11
Speaker
But like, that's hard to imagine what that might be like. I know. Right. But stretch that imagination and wrap that concept around um a man who just really loved wine and steak and yeah dad and magic tricks.
00:20:27
Speaker
I want to see his YouTube channel. I want to see him performing like dumb little card tricks. Just like just a close up of his hands. Yeah. He would do numbers on TikTok even. Like, come the on.
00:20:40
Speaker
He absolutely would do numbers on TikTok. I mean, he would he would he would be doing like Shakespearean monologues and soliloquies and would be, i mean, he he is a consummate performer.
00:20:52
Speaker
So like,
Family Influence on Orson's Development
00:20:54
Speaker
of course he would. Of course he would.
00:20:59
Speaker
it's It's such a, he's just looking at me. I made the mistake of laying the biography down beside me on the couch. As my cat plays with the paper bag. Stop it. um But he's just looking at me. His eyes are following me around.
00:21:13
Speaker
And I feel the pressure. I'm going to lay my Kindle on top of his face. There we go. Young Orson does not have a book cover. So that's the one currently sitting on top of Citizen Wells. Fair enough. okay For good reason.
00:21:26
Speaker
So let's actually dig into... why we're here today yes so let's road to orson the road to or to orson we certainly do get it's been years since i've seen one of those movies god damn it i gotta refresh myself the last one i wrote uh the last one i wrote the last one i saw only had a lot of blackface so hooray hooray You got to love that old school. Do I got to? No, you don't. You really don't. up on Christmas. We're going to watch White Christmas again. And I'm going to have to sit through the fact that the the minstrel show song number is actually kind of a bop.
00:22:11
Speaker
And I hate it. It's just. ah But here's the thing, Hope. And I want to make this abundantly clear. You don't have to.
00:22:21
Speaker
I don't have to sit through it or I don't have to admit that it's a bop. No, you don't have to sit through it. No, no, I know. That's why I have a ah Blu-ray search function. So I can just go back and listen and watch the best things happen while you're dancing again.
00:22:34
Speaker
Instead, keep the runtime consistent. There you go. That's the move right there. um Orson Welles born, let's let's start let's in media res with the birth of the man himself. Orson Welles born into this world in Kenosha, Wisconsin in the year of our Lord, 1915 on May the 6th.
00:23:00
Speaker
Hope, what was going on in this great wide world of ours in the year of our Lord, 1915?
00:23:06
Speaker
God, I'd love to tell you once the window loads. So world events. Hey, a British ocean liner, the Lustatania sunk by a German submarine. 1,195 perish.
00:23:18
Speaker
Jesus Christ. ah The second but I'm getting this off of, I should probably say this. Info, please. Dot com. OK, so that's exciting.
00:23:30
Speaker
ah Let's see. This was the year. An estimated 600,000 to 1 million Armenians were ah killed in the genocide by Turkish soldiers.
00:23:42
Speaker
ah real, real, we're having a great time here. The 1 millionth Ford automobile rolls off the assembly line. That's kind of cool. um Starting our way down into lead poisoning in the future. And, uh, uh,
00:23:58
Speaker
destroying the ozone layer on a mass level. And ah let's see what other what other good news happened in 1915. The Superior Court in Fulton County, Georgia, accepts the charger for the establishment of the new Ku Klux Klan.
00:24:13
Speaker
ah That happened on December 4th, 1915, the day after my birthday. god I hate it. Yeah, so do i And what's what else happened that year? Well, hey, what happened specifically on May the 6th?
00:24:27
Speaker
Gosh, future Baseball Hall of Fame slugger Babe Ruth hits his first Major League Baseball home run. and pitches 12 frames frames sorry in the Boston Red Sox four to three extra innings lost to the New York Yankees so that's pretty kick-ass I was gonna say at least Orson's birthday something nice happens we got that going for us and in other news The World Series was the Boston Red Sox versus the Philadelphia Phillies.
Family's Societal Role and Politics
00:24:56
Speaker
And the Phillies lost 4-1. So I don't feel too good about losing to Boston. But there we go. Yeah. I mean, hey, at least it's not fucking.
00:25:08
Speaker
Christ, I can't even think of anybody else's baseball teams. Honest to God. The the hatred of the Dallas Cowboys runs deep. o and And for some bizarre reason, I just invented in my head.
00:25:21
Speaker
ah The Dallas Cowboys were in the World Series in 1915. Don't mind me. I'm high and thinking about Orson Welles. So that's the year that was 1915.
00:25:35
Speaker
And so that is not a terrific time in human history. Very few years are. I mean, we're we're coming off the end of a little something called The Great One, The Great War. um And, um yeah, it just ah kind of ah kind of a time of international ah turmoil, as it were. lot of shit going down. um Was that the end of World War one I thought World War I lasted a little longer.
00:26:00
Speaker
ah was night That might be public school education coming to haunt me. I mean, i you know like most ah like most private schools, we were much more focused on World War two And the Civil War. 14 to 18. Yeah, the Civil War.
00:26:14
Speaker
Hey, you' taking it off okay I live near Gettysburg. You want to know how serious the Civil War is taken around here? Jesus Christ. ah Near. It's like two hours away, but.
00:26:26
Speaker
Hey, you could still road trip to that for a field trip. Yeah, and you can get a corndog on the 4th of July while watching Confederates get shot. It's not a bad time to spend an afternoon. Honestly, sounds pleasant.
00:26:38
Speaker
Sounds pretty nice. Yeah. i like corndogs. I like watching Confederates get shot. This sounds like a good time. Orson Welles did a whole thing about the Battle Hymn of the Republic. So we're going to have a good time. We've tied it back in Orson Welles. Born May 6, 1915.
00:26:52
Speaker
To Richard Head Wells and Beatrice Ives Wells. Richard, of course, went by Dick Wells. And ah ah Dick Wells was a prominent Kenosha businessman.
00:27:06
Speaker
going able to take that seriously. That's all what the man's name was. Do not read young Orson because he is referred to as Dick Wells constantly. Dick Wells? dick wells No dick good.
00:27:21
Speaker
Actually, that's false. Dick bad. Dick very bad. But it was a good joke. That's what matters. I suppose it really just depends on who you're asking. um When it comes right down to it.
00:27:35
Speaker
No, that's right. um Okay. So yeah on page two, um um I'm already, ah I'm already two thirds of the way into my part of the research for this episode.
00:27:46
Speaker
So Dick Wells, oh um he was born in, ah in the Kenosha area. His family is actually very prominent Kenosha family. um His, his father was a prominent businessman in the area. So both he and Orson's mother, Beatrice, are fairly well-to-do, come from fairly wealthy families. So Orson is not middle-class guy.
00:28:11
Speaker
No. But both of them are, for the most part, I will say, both of his parents are, for the most most part, fairly progressive. um Orson, I feel like we're going to be using the phrase fair for its day. Yeah. A lot like progressive considering.
00:28:30
Speaker
ah ah Yeah. Yeah. ah You know, considering the fact that they're both Republicans has more to do with the fact that in the late eighteen hundreds early nineteen hundreds that was the progressive party.
00:28:42
Speaker
um that that that shift didn't come along until later. That kind of swap. Sometimes they are a change. him As they are a want to do.
00:28:53
Speaker
um But in in his childhood, both both of Orson's parents were Republicans. um And his mother in particular was fairly politically active. She was from a prominent Chicago family, the Ives family.
00:29:05
Speaker
um And they were, and her in particular, were great supporters of the arts. And because of her status in society, was at various high functions and was a performer herself. She sang, she played piano.
00:29:22
Speaker
In fact, many said that she played piano so incredibly beautifully that she could charm just about anybody. um One of her admirers is famed tenor Enrico Caruso.
00:29:33
Speaker
god whom she met in Chicago and would frequently visit whenever he was in Chicago. They would like, he would invite her in to his like parlor along with her husband, Dick. Like they would come to see his shows. Like they, she became very quickly friends and ingratiated within the artistic set. And Wells for his part,
00:29:54
Speaker
Kind of did the same, despite the fact that he was more ah business minded. He would make frequent trips down to Chicago um from Kenosha, which is, again, like 90 minutes by car, um probably a little longer by by rail.
00:30:09
Speaker
um But he would make frequent trips down to Chicago, very much enjoyed the nightlife. ah Simon Callow intimates that he was a a patron of a rather prominent Chicago brothel in his youth.
00:30:22
Speaker
um Oh, Jesus Christ. That I started, like, Googling and realized. Because he he actually posts he actually prints the address in Road to Xanadu. And I was like, where is this? Is this still standing? I don't believe it is. I do not believe that brothel is still standing. Otherwise, I would go in search of the brothel. I am planning...
00:30:44
Speaker
A series of Wells-related road trips at some point during this podcast. Oh, we have talked extensively about this. And yes, I am i am going to be doing, because I am also um ah relatively close to New York City, I'm going to be making several trips up there for the sake of this.
00:31:00
Speaker
And um ah Bex, if you're listening, I promise not to make you do all of the walking. ah So, but it it's... it's
00:31:12
Speaker
it would be an insane thing to just say, yeah, we're going to go on a road trip to Orson Welles, his dad's favorite brothel. Right. That's, that's, that's too many qualifiers in a sentence. You know what I mean?
00:31:25
Speaker
If it was Orson's favorite brothel, I get it. Sure. But his dad, yeah, now we're just getting tangential. Right. Um, but but But I mean, it's a history, man. It's part of the history. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Man. man um Think of all the famous rich people that fucked here. Yeah. Yeah.
00:31:45
Speaker
Al Capone once like laid pipe in this very building, man. Now wash your hands. In fact, I... i Sing the happy birthday song twice. I packed a jumbo bottle of Purell just for the occasion. I'm going to bathe in bleach tonight.
00:32:02
Speaker
And that's not counting the extra bottle I bought just for my eyes.
00:32:10
Speaker
um Christ a alive. So again, very prominent figures in society. And no in brothels. And in brothels. No one is entirely sure where they met um oh or how they met. Oh, Christ. But they did have a lot of mutual friends, among them John McCutcheon, who is famed cartoonist. ah George Addy, who would become like one of the prominent novelists and is said to be one of Orson Welles' namesakes.
00:32:38
Speaker
um So, I mean, there are... And again, the stories are endless, right? So yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. The man's life is anecdotal. That's, and that's, that's again, one of the coolest things about it.
00:32:52
Speaker
um His dad is an inventor who was very big into like Dick, Dick Wells is an inventor. He was really into bicycling, like before the bicycling craze, like really kicked in. Hell yeah.
00:33:06
Speaker
I did 16 miles on the Delaware last weekend. It kicked ass. There you go. And did you have a little headlight on your on the front of your bike that you used? ah I did not, no.
00:33:17
Speaker
um Well, if you did, you know who you have to thank for that. but Dick Wells. Now I have to go buy a bicycle light and and name it like the Dick Wells Memorial Bicycle Light. so yeah I'm going to get a little bell and call it Trixie.
00:33:35
Speaker
Yeah. So he didn't so much invent it as he perfected a design that another guy came up with and does hold the path. that sounds about right. Right. Right. Again, yeah you notice I noticed a lot of parallels as I was reading. Like he gets a lot from his mom. He gets a lot from his dad. Oh boy.
00:33:53
Speaker
Like he gets his mom's like political activism and artistic temperament. He gets his dad's like... entrepreneurial spirit and like, I think we can tweak some stuff here and, and kind of make this its own thing.
00:34:04
Speaker
Like all of that comes from his dad. Like it's kind of insane ah to see like the stuff he manages to like get from both of them or from each of them.
Beatrice's Political Activism
00:34:13
Speaker
Um, But he is, um he eventually parlays that as um as cars become more and more popular. He he actually is said to draw have driven the first car ever on the streets of Kenosha, drives the first automobile ever to run down the streets of Kenosha.
00:34:30
Speaker
So if you're driving in Kenosha, thank Dick Wells. Yeah. And he basically, again, nice not not so much of the idea for the automobile headlight, but perfected, he designed a way to move the apparatus throughout the car, realizing that the source of the fuel for the gaslight didn't have to be right next to the gaslight.
00:34:54
Speaker
And so he like pioneers this idea and it becomes the industry standard. So he and a couple of other prominent Kenosha businessmen start Badger Brass, which is this Becomes at some point ah in these these years before Orson, the most prominent business, ah like headlight business in the country at one point. Like they are, they're the progenitors of like the automobile and bicycle lamps.
00:35:23
Speaker
That's dope as hell. Yeah. Yeah. and And he is ah he's he's on the board, he is but he is management. So when those labor unions start creeping up in places, he, for all his progressive politics, is not on the side of the unions. God damn it, Dick.
00:35:43
Speaker
God damn it, Dick. Damn it, Dick. um So yeah, that is, again, kind of a kind of a sore spot, kind of a dark spot there in the story. In fact, there's a a story that is told where he is among a a mob of people who's kind of like putting the screws to one of the prominent Union agitators um in Kenosha around the time.
00:36:05
Speaker
um The first time there is a strike, it is over fairly quickly. The management gives into the demands. ah Not all the demands, but, you know, enough.
00:36:16
Speaker
to, to get people to come back to work. The second time they just say, ah fuck it. If you're striking, you're fired and we'll just move the entire operation to New York, which they do briefly. Holy like Christ. Until the strikes over and then they move it all back to Kenosha and don't rehire anybody.
00:36:34
Speaker
Yeah. That's how it works. Yeah. And again, management keeps getting richer. Badger brass keeps doing better. um In a lot of other ways. like I really fucking hate the cycle of history where we're in right now. God damn it.
00:36:49
Speaker
Oh, the more things change, Hope, the more they change. Christ. um The Gilded Age is back. One fun thing I did find out, actually, is that...
00:37:03
Speaker
Cat? Cat just creating havoc in the kitchen. All right. Cat jump scare. 3620. Got it. just like knocking, knocking cabinets over, trying to get into the contents.
00:37:17
Speaker
um Another interesting thing is that um Dick Wells actually went to boarding school with a, another, the father of another actor who would also perform in Mercury Theater and who a lot of people may have known.
00:37:31
Speaker
ah ah The father, his, his, ah it's the father of someone named, let me just check my notes here, Vincent Price. Oh, oh I know that guy. Right. So apparently they went to so like, they were like school boy chums, ah went to school together and like actually performed, like did performing arts together.
00:37:50
Speaker
Like they did theater together. So like, again, Orson is not the first Wells to perform either. Like this, these are all, this is, it it it is happening again. as the giant said.
00:38:05
Speaker
Oh Christ. Yeah.
00:38:10
Speaker
This this this doing this podcast long form is going to give me lost style flashbacks. Yeah, I'm. Oh, dear. Yes. Oh, dear.
00:38:21
Speaker
it absolutely Oh, dear. Oh, dear. And I can't I can't wait for it. on this This will be a good death. Honorable. um Christ alive. Okay, so so Dick, union buster. Hate the guy. Great.
00:38:36
Speaker
Good. But by the same token, also one of 30 prominent um Kenosha but men who are willing to sign a petition that shows up on the front page of the Kenosha newspaper in support of women's suffrage.
00:38:50
Speaker
Oh, okay. That's, goddammit. Alright, fine. Fine. so and And for her part, so ah they met Mary in 1905. No one's really sure how or why they like meet up with each other. That's always the fun part. How did you meet? And people ah the couple awkwardly looks at each other and says something like,
00:39:14
Speaker
Through friends, and it's like online, just say an app. Just say you met at on an app. And for like, nobody knows how they met. Just a brothel. Just say it was a fucking brothel. and i don't But see, I don't know that it was necessarily. I know. I don't i know. I'm putting that one in the tongue.
00:39:30
Speaker
Not the kind of person who would probably do that. But again, it probably would have been through friends. It probably would have been through someone like John. No. Yeah. yeah The most I got out of this biography in terms of on his parents was they they got a round socially. They hold my word. Yes. Everybody.
00:39:47
Speaker
Frequent trips to the Caribbean, like almost annual trips to the West Indies, and they would hang out with their famous friends down there. Like least anytime there's a prominent musician performing in Chicago, um very often they would be squirreled up to Kenosha for a brief visit where they would be hosted by Beatrice, Beatrice Wells.
00:40:06
Speaker
they They feel entirely like characters that would wind up as suspects on the Orient Express. Yes. You know what I mean? Very musical. Obscenely wealthy socialized that don't actually invent anything themselves, but get like in on the ground floor enough on the invention of a thing to ride the coattails sort of thing.
00:40:26
Speaker
Just Christ alive. And I mean, was it... um George or ah Dick rather does go on to bring ah Jitney buses to Kenosha as well.
00:40:40
Speaker
So he's like prominent in like public transit, like buses as public transit. Deranged. People um at the time were not really happy with them because they were interfering with the electric rail system that Kenosha had. Oh, come on.
00:40:56
Speaker
So trains, man, trains forever. God. Yeah. You, I mean, chances are we'll probably likely be taking a train out to see you guys next year. So fair enough. All right. um So at least Chicago has a nice transit system. Very much so, yes.
00:41:11
Speaker
Philadelphia is all right. Philadelphia is pretty good. Yeah, we got we got one of the one of the better ones for sure over here. We're lucky because we're kind of sandwiched right between New York and D.C. Yeah. So we kind of leech off of the the the legendary horrors of the eldritch abomination that is the New York public transit system.
00:41:30
Speaker
And also the eerily clean Metro DC system. um You know the the internet meme of the back rooms? That's the DC Metro.
00:41:41
Speaker
ah Yeah, no, with but with like brutalist architecture. It's kind of incredible. um So, so, god damn. So, Dick, bike lamps, and...
00:41:56
Speaker
Christ alive. Where even are we are in the timeline? They got married in 1905. I'm jumping all over the fucking places when I'm there like, I'm kind of all over the place. I'm not really keeping a tight chronology on all of this. Like if I were point of the podcast, Steven, fuck, I said as, you're as much as we were capable, you're supposed to be on the, the you're supposed to be this God damn spreadsheet master of this shit.
00:42:16
Speaker
Look, i have I have spreadsheets, but my my research was so chaotic this week, I didn't write anything down, so I am speaking completely extemporaneously. Great. And I've had a hot potty, so... Oh, goddammit.
00:42:30
Speaker
ah I should have done another bong rip before we hit record. Oh, well. ah We can take a pause for the cause. You can edit it out. Stay even. Give me another five minutes. I want to actually, like... Okay, so...
00:42:44
Speaker
ah Beatrice was known in the concert world as Trixie Ives. I'd love to know where she got that stage name. I don't suppose you have any idea your many biographies.
00:42:55
Speaker
My guess is it's the shortened form of the the latter half of Beatrice. Tris, Trixie. know what? see I realized that as soon as you started saying that sentence, and I'm mad that it took me until then figure out. So, good, good.
00:43:10
Speaker
um if i can't make If I can't maintain a reputation as the freewheeling, lovable stoner of the podcast, I can at least be the dumb one. Yeah. No way. Absolutely not. It's just self-depreciation. You're the one who knew when World War I ended. so Yeah, American public school system working for me.
00:43:31
Speaker
Woo! Yeah! um yeah um yeah The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Oh, is that what that does?
Beatrice's Influence on Orson's Artistry
00:43:39
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. I thought it was a Pep Boys.
00:43:42
Speaker
Anyway... um
00:43:45
Speaker
so So he's the business side of things and she is the arts side of things. Correct. So she's... Pretty even split. It is. And I mean, she's a very... Like, by all accounts, an insanely talented musician, but also a very talented performer. She kind of immediately, upon moving from Chicago to Kenosha, upon her wedding to Dick... And they do... They take like a six-month honeymoon to like the West Indies. Yeah, that tracks.
00:44:09
Speaker
Yeah. And then they helped Hercule Poirot solve a mystery in the pyramids. Of course they did. Of course. Of course they did. um but like when she comes back immediately like ingratiates herself to the society women becomes kind of a prominent member of the kenosha women's club which is like the highest social club for women in kenosha as one might assume based on the name um And thing I mean, she is kind of an immediate superstar within that world, um hosting like fundraisers and constantly performing. Like every time there's a women's club function, she's either playing piano or she is...
00:44:51
Speaker
singing, performing. At one point, she organizes a play ah of the women and plays, of course, the lead for herself. Of course. By all accounts, very goofy, um very funny, ah incredibly charming. welles Wells refers to her as the most beautiful woman in the world, which if you've seen a picture of Beatrice, she's she's all right.
00:45:14
Speaker
Like...
00:45:18
Speaker
Damned with faint praise. she yeah she is ah She's a very handsome woman, let's say that. Okay, well now i got I don't think I looked her up myself. Beatrice. If I can spell Beatrice correct. Wells.
00:45:32
Speaker
Images.
00:45:35
Speaker
I don't think that's the Beatrice Wells we're talking about. no that I believe looks to be a different person entirely. Try Beatrice Ives Wells. Ives Wells. That's a great. i'll Search it.
00:45:50
Speaker
Narrow the search down. Because Beatrice Wells is also the name of Orson's daughter. Yep, that makes sense. Okay. She's not... No, she's good looking. It's the hair. I don't think that style of hair is doing her any favors. Not at all. If I can be completely honest.
00:46:07
Speaker
No. Also, the high collar really draws how she's got a really good jawline, though. Very, very nice jawline. I don't think that collar is doing her any favors, either.
00:46:19
Speaker
ah ah so Assuredly not. Good. ahead This has been awkward fashion advice with a bitch who's just learning how to dress herself properly. um Look, you got catching up to do and that's okay.
00:46:32
Speaker
I'm criticizing a woman's style from 120 years ago. You yeah yeah you are. that is That is a thing you're doing. Always a safe path. What I could have done is just done that.
00:46:43
Speaker
I could have done that for you. You could have because I've got my my wireless mouse right next to me even though my laptop's Oh, that's a good photo. I like that. Yeah, that's the photo of Orson and his mom ah taken from, let me just check the website here, Wikipedia. yeah oh Oh, that website. Yes. Oh, interesting.
00:47:02
Speaker
Okay, good. We should keep an eye on them. They're going places. Absolutely, we should. um ah But again, very, like, super charming. Like, the two of them together, very much in love. Like, just... and But but ah the Kenosha's power couple, for all intents and purposes.
00:47:25
Speaker
The power couple of a town you've never heard of. Well, and, I mean, Kenosha at the time was is but is kind of considered... um little Chicago in a, in a, in a sense, like it's kind of this smaller city to the North, but is paralleling the city of, and growth of Chicago in a lot of very interesting ways.
00:47:49
Speaker
Uh, and, it's and it's close enough that, you know, the commute is not, not difficult, not super unheard of. Right. Um, So they would, yeah, absolutely.
00:48:03
Speaker
Orson idolized his mother. She was the one that taught him art and music and basically made him the multi-hyphenate that he would eventually become. Oh my God, yes. It's just even reading the first few pages of this biography, it's ah it's very much that ah Lincoln quote. It's it's ah everything I am or ever hope to be, i owe to my mother.
00:48:23
Speaker
hu So yeah, yeah. And it's also, it just feels like Thomas Wayne leaning in and being like, have you thought about bats, Bruce? It it really really feels like like i don't think I don't think Nolan could have written anything so on the goddamned nose. No.
00:48:43
Speaker
No. Goddamn. and And I mean, these these are themes like the relationship between child and parent, particularly mother, that would become recurrent within Wells' work. And we will see them frequently, ah particularly in his early work. I'm thinking particularly of Citizen Kane and Magnificent Ambersons off the top of my head, wherein the mother-son relationship is...
00:49:08
Speaker
in in a lot of ways, very crucial. And yes, it's, it's almost an afterthought in Kane, but it is central to the entire story, I would argue. Oh, very much so. So like there it's, it's, mean, small role, large impact right is a, yeah.
00:49:21
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, and it's, I've not seen Ambersons, so I'm looking forward to that. Oh, Ambersons is good, my friend. And would have been better if I know. that's why I've not seen it yet. Cause I want guidance properly on which fucking version am I watching?
00:49:35
Speaker
So, I mean, there's only the one because RKO fucking demolished that footage. But that's that's fair. That's another discussion that we'll have like a year from now. um I have I bought it once and I still own five copies of Blade Runner thanks to the horse shit that's been put through. So, yeah.
00:49:52
Speaker
Yeah. No. I can get into my anger about that on a later date. Like when we talk about the Magnificent Ambersons. Yeah. Studio interference. Oh my God. Yeah. And I can shake my fist at George Lucas some more, but that's a different thing. That's again, it's still more different thing. It's a different, but Hey, speaking of George or so George Orson. Well, there we go. Bringing it. hasn't Hasn't been born yet. Won't be born until the end of this podcast. Correct.
00:50:18
Speaker
um End of this episode. Right. And it's eight years leading to the birth of,
00:50:25
Speaker
um another Another area where Orson's mother was particularly prominent was within the Unitarian Church in Kenosha. She was – she was – conducted the choir, the church choir there, and was ah particularly fond of the minister there, Florence Beck, who was a very ah prominent um political figure in the Kenosha area, very progressive in terms of her politics, and had a ah longtime partner in ministry.
00:50:54
Speaker
and in life, who was also female. um And so we see very early and even before he's born, Orson has that that queer connection we were talking about last week ah when we said, oh, you know, too bad it can't be gay. It's going to get gay.
00:51:13
Speaker
Sometimes it's going to get gay. This isn't even even the only gay couple in this episode. i as you As soon as you said Unitarian, like my brain lit up and now I have to text Bex.
00:51:24
Speaker
ah Because they are also very active in their Unitarian church. Hell yeah. So, yeah. um But ah Florence Beck was the the minister there for years and years until her partner got sick and they had to move out to California.
00:51:38
Speaker
ah Beck would return very often to ah to preach and to kind of like stop in, visit, um deliver speeches and other, particularly as the suffragist movement gained steam in Kenosha, um she would return a lot more frequently, but never stayed.
00:51:56
Speaker
ah Eventually the Unitarian... ah ah She was replaced by another Unitarian minister who was brought in, and then it turned out he was a bigamist. um Jesus Christ. had to resign in disgrace.
00:52:11
Speaker
um Bigamy, of course. Turns out... Whoops. ah Oh, bigamy turns out, along with all other forms of polygamy, ah was outlawed in the United States in 1882. Oh, Christ. um Yeah. So years before this. So he was ah had forced to reside in disgrace. oh Oh, he had also forged his ministerial credentials.
00:52:34
Speaker
It gets worse. Right? Yay! Christ alive. So, fun. And the Unitarian Church kind of never recovers. Like, the ministry of that church kind of falls apart. Beatrice basically becomes dis and disillusioned with religion after that point.
00:52:53
Speaker
That's shame. And kind of pours herself more wholeheartedly into her political activism. There's also a rift that forms within the Women's Club when she runs for...
00:53:04
Speaker
head of president of the women's club against a very prominent figure and basically run like runs her for every office has her own younger candidate and they lose out by the narrowest of margins and are pretty much shunned after that.
00:53:19
Speaker
Jesus Christ. And, and so she then, Kind of ostracized from the church, ostracized from her her social club, pours herself into activism and becomes one of three prominent leaders in the Kenosha suffragist movement.
00:53:36
Speaker
um to and at that point women do have limited voting rights basically they can vote for anything involving schools yeah ah because that is the purview of mothers and children ah i guess is the logic there um but that's not really a logic um 1912, the first suffragist, um the the first suffrage i a memorandum is put on the ballot.
00:54:08
Speaker
It fails spectacularly. um So they put another one on in 1914. And Wells herself in that year runs school board because she is Again, very politically active.
00:54:27
Speaker
None of the – they realize, look, if we want to gain any traction in the suffrageist movement, we have to have a woman elected to public office. It just has to happen. And so none of them want to step up. And basically the other two leaders come to to Beatrice and they're like, look, Bea, will you do this for us?
00:54:46
Speaker
Sup, Bea? her Her first son, Richard Wells, Orson's older brother, um had been, who had been called Dickie. He went by Dickie Wells. ah Unfortunate.
00:54:58
Speaker
Right? He is, he had learning just difficulties. He stuttered. Like, he he had some difficulty.
Educational Challenges of Orson's Brother
00:55:05
Speaker
And so, like, that was their way of kind of convincing to,
00:55:09
Speaker
to run for school board because they're like look you know dickie needs the attention you know he and you know he's not getting it you know he's not getting the the schooling and education that he needs and so that that's pretty much like yes okay i'll do it and so god yeah they it's a fun example of a white woman using political power to help gain a a education uh edge for her children yeah doubt that he needed it but jesus christ tale as old as time well i mean and again we're talking 1914 but yeah the optics now not so good yeah ah agreed so oh shit steven i just realized orson wells is problematic shut it down oh fuck let it down not again ah fuck
00:56:01
Speaker
It's been zero days since Orson Welles was problematic. Another another milkshake duck for the masses.
00:56:13
Speaker
I'm going to spend, I'm going to spend, i feel it's it's a fellow, right? Yeah, I'm going to spend that episode just kind of deflating the entire time. Just like, Orson Welles played
00:56:26
Speaker
I mean, fortunately it's in black and white, but it's kind of... That makes it better! That black face is hard to ignore, even in black and white. yeah it's in blackface and white. Um...
00:56:40
Speaker
Oh, I got a new Muppet laugh. Hell yeah. All right. Good. Good. I was not expecting that. That was wonderful. Thank you. Delightful. Well, good. and Well, so these, these rich assholes running for school board.
00:56:53
Speaker
Yes. um And she went, she becomes the first woman ever elected to public office in the city of Kenosha. Nice. Like a, an historical event. um That Christmas, she basically starts a,
00:57:07
Speaker
um a community Christmas fund where people can buy um basically buy into this fund for as low as a penny, as much as a dollar. And it, and that fund ensures that every child in Kenosha indiscriminate of class or station or parentage or anything receives a gift on Christmas.
00:57:27
Speaker
ah And they, on Christmas Eve, they have this massive event and like, and they have like someone dressed as Santa Claus to come and like pass out all the presents to all the kids.
00:57:39
Speaker
And she herself like speaks publicly about the spirit of giving and the draws a, you know, a connection between the literal figure of St. Nicholas and the, or of Santa Claus and the spirit of Santa Claus in the heart of every giver. Like it's this very moving and impassioned speech that she gives. And then when she goes home, her and her, just like a Hallmark movie. writes her and her husband and her son each open a gift. And Beatrice at that point informs her husband, Dick Wells, that she is pregnant with child number two.
00:58:15
Speaker
i I wonder which one that's going to be. That's going to be Orson. Oh, it is. It is. That's our guy. Spoilers. Fuck. um That's our guy. That's Orson.
00:58:27
Speaker
um And so he is George. Oh, George Orson. George Orson. Ah, okay. George calling Olson. um So immediately after Christmas, they go on a ah another West Indies vacation. They leave Dickie. God damn it.
00:58:45
Speaker
They leave Dickie with Beatrice's mother, who at this point is living with them since the death of her husband. God it. damn it why are you just leaving dickie out of this i mean you know or dicky or poor dickie is gonna be named dickie take that first of all he was named dickie yeah let's add insult to injury let's reckon with that for a second um is he the fred claws of our podcast maybe yeah maybe he He may be, he may very well be, I don't know much about Dickie. Well, so I, I don't know much about Fred Claus.
00:59:17
Speaker
So we're even, I don't want to make too many jokes about the man. is I feel bad for this poor son of a bitch. Yeah. Yeah. He's kind of this like disappointing eldest son, but the kid actually does have like some, some learning difficulties. He's, he's a stutterer. Like he, he has, the kid has problems.
00:59:38
Speaker
Yeah. Essentially. and And he is. I mean, we could absolutely do several hours on like Orson was obviously this prodigy from the word fucking get go. Right. Dickie had learning disabilities. Therefore, the one size fits some style of American education system did not fit him at all. Correct. Did not bend.
01:00:01
Speaker
to help him in any way,
Orson Welles' Naming and Societal Connections
01:00:02
Speaker
shape or form. And his parents seemingly did less to help the poor bastard. So, I mean, Beatrice did what she could, which is unfortunately not much.
01:00:12
Speaker
yeah um I mean, she, she did become school board. She did but get elected to the school board. That's an oh pretty good. That is pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. More than a lot of mother, other mothers were doing for their children, particularly in Kenosha. Yeah. Every mother should get elected to school board for their kid that has dyslexia. Jesus Christ.
01:00:30
Speaker
ah um and And I mean, the options for someone who didn't fit into that system. I would have so many friends with mothers on school boards if that were the case.
01:00:42
Speaker
You and me both, man. Jesus Christ. i had One of my very good friends did not find out until he was a grown adult that he was dyslexic. ah And his when he told his parents, they were like, yeah, we always kind of figured.
01:00:59
Speaker
the fuck see i can't begin to fathom that because i was an avid reader from the word go because hey as it turns out the kid with um undiagnosed ptsd uh really liked escapism and nobody bothered that kid when they were reading books because like they would bother that kid when the kid was watching tv because it was tv and that'll rot your brain but books books are no problem Could you lay off the Terry Pratchett for five minutes? that no That wouldn't come until later, but yes.
01:01:32
Speaker
I read so many Star Wars novelizations. Oh, girl, you and me both. Holy shit. I'm also realizing, am I like misgendering myself in any of these sentences? I tend to think of myself in ah terms of a weird time travel situation.
01:01:48
Speaker
So it's a before and after sort of thing. if If anyone's going to do it, it should be you. That's right. So word of warning, if you're referring to me in the present tense, she, her.
01:02:00
Speaker
If you're referring to me in the past tense, don't refer to me. There you go. That's a good rule. I i will refer to myself in the past tense. It's not for you. It's for me. There you go.
01:02:12
Speaker
That's it. um So, yeah. To circle back to Dickie just briefly, and and maybe perhaps by way of spoiler, the options for someone who did not fit into that very rigid system were significantly more limited in the early 1900s or the late 1910s than they would be today.
01:02:30
Speaker
um No. Right. Really? No. No. um So they they travel to... The KKK was just formally recognized by a city government, and you're telling me...
01:02:43
Speaker
That there's not as many options for kids with learning disabilities? What? Oh, God. Shock.
01:02:54
Speaker
Everything's terrible. Burn it down. um Start from scratch. ah Let's just do the Etch-a-Sketch end of the world. Hold it upside down and shake it. leave Clean slate.
01:03:05
Speaker
um But um so Orson's parents, upon finding out that Beatrice is pregnant, go to the West Indies, as they often would. And ah there they spend time with their friends, John McCutcheon.
01:03:19
Speaker
Also there is George Addy and his longtime homosexual partner, Orson C. Wells. Wells spelled W-E-L-L-S. um wells Orson C. Wells was a prominent ah New York millionaire, um but the two were basically longtime homosexual partners.
01:03:42
Speaker
ah The child is named George Orson Welles, and two of their best homosexual friends are named George and Orson. You do the fucking math. um While they're there. i do so love the phrase confirmed bachelor. It's one of my favorites. Yeah.
01:03:59
Speaker
Yeah. A couple of, us he you know, Orson Welles. i I limped my wrist for the audio medium of the podcast for that joke.
01:04:11
Speaker
Yeah.
01:04:14
Speaker
the um they they They told basically George and Orson, if the child is a boy, we'll name we'll name him after the two of you. Although, if we do go back into the the Wells family history, um one of Orson's great-grandfathers was... ah ah Kenosha attorney Orson S. Head, and his brother was named George Head. So he could have also, they could have also been a family name.
01:04:41
Speaker
um But that's a great way to pay honor to your friends and also your family at the same time. And our family in quotes, you're naming them after your your your gay buddies.
Balancing Myth and Reality of Orson Welles
01:04:52
Speaker
And also when you go to family reunions, it's like, oh yeah, named after great aunt Whatserfuck. Yeah. Yeah. yeah there's ah There's a quote that I highlighted that I'm quite fond of.
01:05:05
Speaker
um Not the one about the ant that practiced witchcraft. Where is the quote? um Here we go. ah Hell, we had to call you Orson. He told his son, who inquired one day about what his name really was.
01:05:21
Speaker
Every damned Pullman porter in the county is named George. Which... Yeah, good. Thanks, Dick. um But yeah, I mean, that is more or less the lead up to Orson Welles.
01:05:35
Speaker
um Like we see, i think we start to see some of his... um the one figure we didn't mention and he is barely mentioned in what we mentioned him, but didn't really dig into it.
01:05:50
Speaker
Um, the one figure we didn't mention and because he hasn't really played that prominent a role yet in the story is Maurice Bernstein, who is a, basically the orthopedist in Kenosha. Um, um,
01:06:05
Speaker
He moves to Kenosha from Chicago. Two months later, moves back to Chicago to take a fairly prominent position at ah at a a school, medical school there. ah Ends up getting into a fist fight with the head of the school um and basically goes back, is is forced to go back to Kenosha. And...
01:06:24
Speaker
and slowly begins building a practice in Kenosha and essentially becomes kind of the Wells children's doctor and would become kind of a second father to Orson.
01:06:37
Speaker
um yeah as as he would have eventually kind of grow up. In fact, he would end up ah lending his last name to one of the characters in Citizen Kane, Mr. Bernstein. There we go. so So such an important figure was he in the life of Young Wells.
01:06:54
Speaker
um And we'll get into him more, I'm sure, in the next ah week or two as we as we get into the life of Young Orson.
01:07:05
Speaker
ah Yes, when we finally meet the man himself. Right. Episode three. Yeah. Of the podcast. Right. um But yeah, that is that is essentially the lead up to Orson. Took us about an hour.
01:07:18
Speaker
Not too shabby. Not bad at all. Not bad. I mean, we would probably we probably could have gone longer. There were some tangents in there, too. So we kind of kept it light, kept it loose. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, what if we did a movie podcast as two friends? But here's the catch.
01:07:32
Speaker
We kind of joke around about it. Yeah. Nobody's ever done that before. no one. No one. I mean, we are both white, but we're not both dudes. So at least we got that going for us. Oh, God. Yeah. Hell yeah. That's our competitive advantage.
01:07:47
Speaker
I knew I made the right call growing these B-Cups. We're not dudes. Hell Hell yeah. All right. ah we We might sound like it because I'm fundamentally lazy as a person, but Well, and also you don't want to do too much vocal training because then you'll lose your your Orson Welles. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. ah And I should ask you, Stephen, what are we pondering for next episode?
01:08:11
Speaker
ah So next episode, my the plan is to cover ah Orson basically right up until he leaves for boarding school. So that would be from his his birth right up until he leaves for the Todd School at, oh, I want to say around about age...
01:08:30
Speaker
the 12 am I remembering 12 I think you're right yeah 12 to 16 if I'm remembering 11 11 or 12 yeah yeah if I'm remembering the final three pages of the 17 that I read today yes uh good i'm I'm so glad I've already done my homework for that episode. That's pretty great. I've got plenty more. Great. I'm horrified to see. you I'm just going to keep a page count as to what our verses is at.
01:08:56
Speaker
and i'm goingnna And I'm going to reread some sections of Road to Xanadu because I read those thinking we were going to be covering them. And i'll be I'll read the corresponding chapters in Young Orson and then the corresponding chapters of Young Orson would have been like 180 pages.
01:09:09
Speaker
I would like to say that Steven is doing this voluntarily and I am definitely not holding him to do this against his will. Nope. No, I was excited to do you. You said this to me in a high drunken stupor and I said, fuck yes, let's do it. And I was relatively sober at the time. So we'll bust out the, uh, the, uh,
01:09:31
Speaker
Why can I never remember the name of that ship from Chicago lot? Malort. Malort. Why am I always putting the wrong vowel sound on it? Anyway, whatever. You bring the Malort, I'll bring the cheesesteaks.
01:09:44
Speaker
No, pretzels. Yes. pretzs Wait, no. I was going to say, pretz you bring the cheesesteaks, I'll bring the Italian beef. yeah
01:09:53
Speaker
We will have fights as to how the food works. um Good. It's... I'll bring Malort too, though. and And old style. We'll do a Chicago handshake.
01:10:04
Speaker
Kick ass. It'll be a good time. All right. So we've got our assignments for next class. ah Do we have anything else before we wrap it up? um i I do not have anything else. Hope, do you have anything else?
01:10:15
Speaker
ah No, I am overwhelmed by... the ironic fact that I made a joke at the end of last episode and it's come true for the end of this episode, because what are we cheap, right?
01:10:29
Speaker
What are we going to do tonight? So earlier in this episode, I just want to point this out earlier in this episode, you did a Michael Caine impression and it sounded so close to pinky that you could do that as a conversation between Michael Caine and Orson Welles, and it would still fucking work.
01:10:46
Speaker
Ah, shit. Oh, no. like Okay, um I'll have to workshop that because now you're throwing new concepts at me. I know. I'm sorry. I've been talking to myself as HR Giger, hi, all day at work.
01:10:59
Speaker
So, of course, I did my vocal warm-ups for an Orson Welles podcast as HR Giger, hi. The HR stands for, hey, really, Giger. Stole that from the Super Ego podcast. It's not mine, but it delights me to no end.
01:11:12
Speaker
But, as always...
01:11:18
Speaker
I have no as always. We don't um i know no know yeah i don't have a solid sign off yet. yeah yeah We're going to workshop it. ah But before we do, I do want to say a shout out to Tucker for writing our closing theme song, which you will hear momentarily. We didn't know he was going to write it last week, which is why we didn't mention it last week. But we're mentioning it now.
01:11:36
Speaker
Okay. Because we're locking him in. so Good. You're not contractually obligated. Well done, sirs, for contributing to the arts. Huzzah. We thank you.
01:11:48
Speaker
So until we come up with a decent sign off, I am your TA, Stephen Foxworthy. You can find, look, find the WellesU podcast on on some forms of social media, but not all at WellesUpod.
01:12:01
Speaker
Find me, Stephen Foxworthy, on some forms of social media, but not all at Chewy Walrus. and And Hope, can we find you on some forms of social media, but not all? You can, and I'm just going to highlight my AO3, which I've not published anything on just yet, but I'm laying the groundwork. I'm just at Hope Lichner.
01:12:19
Speaker
On several platforms, including Tumblr, if you want some some good, good lesbian content. And who doesn't? Let's be honest. Well, to be fair, it's a lot of hand-holding and not much more than that. Oh, okay.
01:12:33
Speaker
That's fair. but' Look, it's fair. Look, i have written you read 82 pages of Orson Welles. I have read this calendar year easily over 20,000 pages of sapphic slow burn. and I am so glad you have a hobby. it's um I'm glad I have my hobby back. It left me for a little while.
01:12:51
Speaker
And speaking of hobbies, episode three coming soon. Soon. And until next time, um keep it magic.
01:13:04
Speaker
Right on.