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027 | Women's Issues: Breastfeeding
564 Plays5 years ago
In this episode of our women’s issues series, we talk about the Scriptural approach to breastfeeding, but more so, how the gospel dismantles the mommy wars over this sensitive and often shame-filled issue. This topic is explored further in the Motherhood episode coming next.
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Transcript
Introduction to Verity Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to Verity. I'm your host, Felicia Masonheimer, an author, speaker, and Bible teacher. This podcast will help you embrace the history and depth of the Christian faith, ask questions, seek answers, and devote yourself to becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ. You don't have to settle for watered-down Christian teaching. And if you're ready to go deeper, God is just as ready to take you there. This is Verity, where every woman is a theologian.
Breastfeeding as a Theological Issue
00:00:30
Speaker
Welcome to the third episode in our Women's Issues series, friends. Man, this is a complicated episode and a really personal one for me to talk about. Maybe even a little surprising for you because it's so insanely specific.
00:00:46
Speaker
Like, how come breastfeeding is a theological issue? Well, you might be surprised just how much theology is involved in navigating this and the implications of it, especially in today's world. Now, we're going to get into that and the mommy wars and the theology behind the mommy wars, specifically over breastfeeding and breast is best. But before we get to that, I want to talk about some verses that address breastfeeding.
00:01:16
Speaker
Now, the reason I chose to put this episode in this series, it actually wasn't originally in my plan, but since I am currently breastfeeding my three week old and thinking a lot about this, I thought, you know what, this is a very specific issue to women. This is a woman's issue and scripture really does speak to it.
00:01:40
Speaker
What really turned me to choosing this as the next episode was not just the fact that the Bible speaks to it, but also how much shame and guilt I have experienced in regard to this issue.
Shame, Guilt, and Theology in Breastfeeding
00:01:56
Speaker
And anywhere we experience shame and guilt, the gospel speaks to that area.
00:02:01
Speaker
And so I know that not everyone has had the same experience as me regarding breastfeeding, but regardless, I think that this episode may be very helpful for you in navigating the theology that is underlying many of our conversations around this issue
00:02:19
Speaker
and others that come up in the mommy wars today. So even if you are not a mom, I think this will be helpful to you maybe for the future or for friends of yours who are moms and have kids. It may be something that you can use in your conversations. And also, I think there are some theological principles you can take away, especially surrounding the theology of suffering that may help you in navigating this on a larger scale.
Biblical Symbolism of Breastfeeding
00:02:46
Speaker
So the verses in the Bible that talk about nursing are actually pretty plentiful. There are quite a few verses that talk about breastfeeding. Now in that day and age, the day and age in which the Bible was written, breastfeeding was the primary way of feeding a baby. They could not preserve cow's milk or goat's milk long enough for it to be safe for babies. They didn't have refrigerators. And so if you could not feed your baby,
00:03:15
Speaker
you would have to get a wet nurse. You'd have to get someone who could breastfeed the baby for you. And so we'll get to that in a minute because it does actually play a role in this conversation. But the Bible talks about breastfeeding pretty extensively and actually have some verses I wanted to read you guys to give you a picture of what scripture says.
00:03:33
Speaker
So the first thing we see regarding breastfeeding and nursing in scripture is that it is often used as a symbol for blessing or abundance. We see this in Genesis 49.25.
00:03:50
Speaker
where it says, I mean, this is a specific blessing from Jacob to his sons. He says, the Almighty will bless you with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that crouches beneath, blessings of the breasts and of the womb. So this is a blessing of abundance and fertility. That's what he is pointing to here.
00:04:11
Speaker
Okay, another one that we see is in Isaiah 66 and this is a longer passage where God is talking about Jerusalem and he pictures Jerusalem as a woman, as a mother.
00:04:27
Speaker
And he says, Rejoice with Jerusalem, be glad for her, all you who love her. Rejoice with her and joy all you who mourn over her, that you may nurse and be satisfied by her consoling breast, and you may drink deeply with the light from her glorious abundance. He then goes on to say that you, Israel, shall nurse and be carried upon her hip and bounced upon her knees. So basically, Jerusalem is this source of abundance and love and peace and comfort, just like a mother is to a nursing child.
00:04:57
Speaker
Now, in contrast to this, if we go forward to Hosea, in Hosea we actually see the opposite, where as a curse for evil behavior and sin, God uses the symbolism of dry breasts as separation. So there is no sustenance, there is no abundance, and so it's a symbol in Hosea of the opposite.
00:05:22
Speaker
Now there are other ways that nursing and breastfeeding is a symbol in scripture, and that is as the love of a mother. We see this in Isaiah 40.11. So if you're following along with me, this is a verse many of us know. It says, God will tend his flock like a shepherd. He will gather the lambs in his arms. He will carry them in his bosom and gently lead those that are with young.
00:05:48
Speaker
So this is specifically in context talking about a shepherd, but also kind of symbolizing like a mother, kind of like a mother would carry a child at her breast, at her bosom. He's carrying these lambs at his bosom. It's a symbol of that motherly love. Also in Isaiah 49, 15,
00:06:12
Speaker
we see God saying to Israel, can a woman forget her nursing child that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yeah, I will not forget you. So he's basically saying it's impossible for a woman to forget her nursing child. And so if she forgets,
00:06:32
Speaker
then, you know, I would never forget you in contrast. And so this sense of the nursing child, the breastfeeding of the child is a symbol of the love of
Personal and Societal Breastfeeding Challenges
00:06:43
Speaker
the mother. And then if we go into the New Testament, we see milk for infants pictured as doctrine. If we look at 1 Peter 2, 2, Peter says that like a newborn infant, we should be longing for the milk
00:07:02
Speaker
of scripture. Long for pure spiritual milk that by it you may grow up to salvation, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good." And so he's basically using these tasting milk, growing up infant, like using these words to create this picture. An infant longs for milk. I hear my infant actually, so I need to pause this recording and run out and check on him. He's with Josh.
00:07:27
Speaker
But they long for that milk so they can grow. They need it in order to grow. And Hebrews 5 uses the same analogy, but to say that if you're a beginner in faith, then you want that milk-level doctrine, but it's time to grow up and get beyond infant stage. But it uses that picture of a breastfeeding infant as the
00:07:49
Speaker
the beginning of taking in that doctrine, that abundant, beautiful, sustaining, nutritious food that they need at the very beginning. So scripture obviously talks about this, and it's clearly something that was understood culturally. Ever since creation, women have been given this capability of nursing their children.
00:08:12
Speaker
And it's a wonderful, wonderful thing. However, something happened in Genesis 3 that affected every single aspect of fertility, including breastfeeding.
00:08:24
Speaker
So before I continue into the Genesis 3 conversation, I want to share a little of my story. So I have three children and many of you know, I have my babies at home. I'm a home birth mom and I'm a little bit crunchy granola. I like to do things holistically and naturally as much as possible. So we've cloth-dipered and you know, make our own baby food when we get to that point and
00:08:50
Speaker
You know, I'm obviously doing home birth and we do different things that aren't typically mainstream when it comes to our choices with our home and family.
00:09:01
Speaker
And so in the circles that I run in, breastfeeding is the ultimate. It is the necessary. It is what you, of course, will do. And you'll probably do it for a very long time. Many people in my world are co-sleeping and are breastfeeding until ages two and three. That's very normal. But when I started with my first baby, I quickly discovered that I had a problem with supply.
00:09:29
Speaker
And it didn't take long to begin to see just how much my baby was struggling. In fact, she was very close to failure to thrive when we took her in after a couple of months. And my doctor, a pediatrician is looking at me saying that this baby needs more food.
00:09:47
Speaker
But here I was stressed and anxious doing everything. And when I say everything, I mean every single thing. Taking fenugreek, eating bran muffins, eating oatmeal like it was my day job, not working out, you know, pumping after every feed. There were times, actually weeks, where I was pumping or feeding for at least the 14 hours of the day. I could do nothing else. And
00:10:15
Speaker
just an absolute anxious mess, stressed me out of my mind. My husband wasn't there because he was working anywhere from 10 to 12 hour days. And during that season, all I heard
00:10:30
Speaker
was breast is best. Breast is best. Let's make it work. We'll figure it out. We'll do it. And so I did it until she was five months old when Josh asked me to stop or actually told me, you need to stop because I was so depressed and so anxious and I couldn't feed my baby. The first night that we gave her formula was the first night she actually slept well. She slept completely through the night because my baby was that hungry.
00:10:58
Speaker
So through that experience, you know, when something is personal to you, the shame and guilt that I took from having to stop at five months, the shame and guilt I carried through not being able to feed my baby and then finding out that my baby was just hungry, that I hadn't been giving her what she needed because of the pressure of my society and the pressure of the world I was in, it broke my heart. And so when I had my next baby, I tried again and I was pressured to try again.
00:11:28
Speaker
This time I made it four months and once again my supply gave out and I had to stop.
00:11:34
Speaker
At this point, I was happy to stop because of the stress and anxiety that was adding to my postpartum season. And this time with my third, I have voluntarily chosen to stop at six weeks and will no longer be breastfeeding after that. And I am completely at peace with that and happy about that because I know that I'm giving the best thing to my baby by giving him a stress-free mom and providing him with sustenance that helps him grow.
00:12:02
Speaker
We'll be making our own formula, but even if we weren't, I am completely at peace with this decision.
00:12:09
Speaker
Now, when I have been open about the fact that I was at peace with this decision and have shared a little bit of my own breastfeeding experiences, I have had pushback from people. And one of the things that women have said to me is, I don't understand how you can give your child formula when God designed our bodies a certain way.
00:12:34
Speaker
So God designed us to breastfeed and that therefore is the holiest and best thing you can do for your baby. And if you don't do it, the implied takeaway is that you either don't love your child or you are basically in sin against God and his design.
00:12:56
Speaker
And I have had people tell this to me, and if you have to, I'm so sorry. It is so hurtful, and it's so shame-inducing, and no one should have to hear that, but it's happening. It's happening everywhere. And so that was my experience, and what really this connects to is an understanding of Scripture.
Impact of Genesis on Fertility and Breastfeeding
00:13:18
Speaker
There's a theological issue at play here.
00:13:21
Speaker
If we go back to the episode on birth and pregnancy, what do we learn about Genesis 3? We learn that while women were not cursed and pregnancy and birth and the whole process was not cursed, there was resistance brought into the world by sin. Sin affected fertility, it affected everything, and therefore it also affects breastfeeding.
00:13:45
Speaker
So my autoimmune disease is what causes low supply. Many women with autoimmune diseases have low supply. But there are many other women who may choose not to breastfeed because of mental health reasons or who may not be able to breastfeed like me.
00:14:02
Speaker
Why does that happen when God designed breastfeeding? It happens because of the fall. And so this is why when we try to use scripture to support a point, we have to make sure we're being consistent in what scripture is actually saying.
00:14:21
Speaker
One of my primary missions with the Verity podcast is to supply theology in an approachable and understandable way for the new believer or the long-time disciple of Christ. I know that theology can be overwhelming, and sometimes it feels like you don't know what book to pick up or where to even start. And that is why I wrote Theology Basics.
00:14:43
Speaker
Theology Basics is not a systematic theology. It's not a book that is going to weigh as much as a dictionary. It's just a simple e-book that introduces the concepts and basic fundamental principles of theology on the nature of God, the nature of man, authority of scripture, and salvation.
00:15:02
Speaker
So if you're starting out and you don't know where to begin, this would be a great resource for you. Theology Basics is only $10 on my website in our shop and it's available all the time. So if you head to FeliciaMasonHeimer.com,
00:15:17
Speaker
you can click on shop and you'll find Theology Basics as well as my other ebooks all available right there. I hope that Theology Basics opens a door to your excitement and curiosity about what it means to be a Christian and how to truly understand what it is that we believe.
00:15:38
Speaker
Now we're going to pause the theology for just a moment and talk specifically about breast is best. Now from a nutritional standpoint, there's no question that breast milk is the best in an ideal world. If everyone could breastfeed and it was possible from a physical, mental, ability standpoint, then absolutely that is the best route to go. But in a fallen world, that's not always possible.
00:16:07
Speaker
Now, historically, breast is best as a campaign goes back to somewhere around the 70s and the 80s. In the 1960s, only 25% of Canadian women, I don't have stats on the United States, but I imagine it's similar, 25% of Canadian women breastfed or even attempted to breastfeed. By the early 1990s, it was 75% and as of 2012, it was 89%.
00:16:36
Speaker
This is largely due to a complete switch in the medical community to promote breastfeeding over formula.
Cultural Shifts in Breastfeeding Perceptions
00:16:44
Speaker
Because before that, in the 1950s, there was this tendency to just use formula, no questions asked. In fact, there was even a bit of prestige attached to it. And this idea that if you were wealthy, you would be able to afford formula.
00:17:01
Speaker
and it gave you some kind of status, whereas only the poor would breastfeed because they couldn't afford anything else. And so there was honestly some pride involved and status involved with formula and buying formula, as well as the promoting and the marketing of it. And so in the 70s and 80s, we have this campaign unofficially that started and truly revolutionized how we perceive breastfeeding.
00:17:29
Speaker
to the point that we have actually completely flipped it on its head and now the shame doesn't come towards those who breastfeed so much as towards those who don't. Now obviously there are still people who are pro formula and will shame a breastfeeding mother for breastfeeding in public you know even with her cover on you know or people who will hold to that that old mindset
00:17:56
Speaker
But in my personal experience and in talking to hundreds of women on my Instagram and my Facebook, there is a lot of shame that is now being perpetuated through the breast is best mantra.
00:18:11
Speaker
So I want to be very specific here that I'm not questioning the nutritional value of breastfeeding. That's not what this is about. What this is about is how do we as Christian women deal with the shame and guilt that is perpetuated around this issue, especially when our bodies are affected by the fall and we may not be able to breastfeed our children.
00:18:36
Speaker
This is exactly like the issue of natural birth versus epidural birth or C-section. The same kind of shame being perpetuated when someone doesn't have the baby, quote-unquote, the way God designed. We have to be so careful using that kind of language when we live in a fallen world. God's design has been marred by sin.
00:18:59
Speaker
And that means that things will not always go the way we hope. We can plan, we can educate. I'm a huge proponent of education. I wish there was better breastfeeding education. I wish there was better natural birth education, especially in hospitals. But even with that education, things do not always go as planned. I know many women who wanted a home birth and maybe had to go to the hospital instead because it wasn't
00:19:27
Speaker
safe and praise the Lord for the hospital. But they were disappointed and grieved and felt like they failed because they didn't have the birth that they wanted. Same goes with breastfeeding. We live in a fallen world and that means that because of the fall, go back and listen to the birth and pregnancy episode, we will be resisted in this world. Our labor of conception, remember infertility, is a
00:19:53
Speaker
a labor pain. The same goes for actual labor and natural birth and also for breastfeeding. Feeding a child is affected by the fall and we must keep that in mind when we are looking at this topic. If you hear a little baby in the background it's because I'm actually nursing my baby right now as I'm talking to you about this.
00:20:16
Speaker
So even back in the day, so think ancient world, if you were not able to breastfeed, you did have an alternative and it was wet nursing. This has always been a problem. So when people talk about, well, this is how everybody's done it all through the ages. Well, sure, if they could, and if they couldn't, they either had to hire a wet nurse or their baby may have died.
00:20:41
Speaker
We need to actually keep this in mind. We live in a day and age where there are options for women who can't or don't breastfeed their babies, but for many women throughout the ages, they had to find a wet nurse or their baby would not survive.
00:20:57
Speaker
And so wet nursing actually is the oldest profession and the most widespread profession more so than prostitution for women. And if you look into the history of it, it's pretty fascinating. We see Moses.
00:21:13
Speaker
needed a wet nurse, right? The Pharaoh's daughter hired a wet nurse and she just so happened to be his own mother, which is so, so neat because there's all sorts of cool science about the bonding of a baby and its actual mother. And so it's so just God in his grace that Miriam gets Moses' own mother to nurse him for Pharaoh's daughter. Just so cool.
00:21:39
Speaker
That aside, wet nursing has been a profession in France. It was huge in France. I believe it was in the 1800s to the point where the police actually had to regulate these wet nurses because so many parents were hiring them. You also have them in China. You have them in England. You had them everywhere for so many different reasons. Some of those reasons were women who are very poor had to go back to work.
00:22:06
Speaker
and couldn't nurse their babies. So they had to send their babies to a wet nurse. Sometimes these wet nurses had too many babies to feed. They couldn't feed them all. And so this is just evidence of the way the fall has impacted the world. That we will not always have what we need.
00:22:26
Speaker
or have the perfect body or the perfect situation. And this is how it's been throughout history. So don't let somebody rewrite history for you and act like before 1900, there weren't alternatives for women who couldn't breastfeed.
00:22:44
Speaker
In fact, we're very blessed in today's world that when we are affected by the fall, we have options like formula, like breast milk banks or getting breast milk from a friend. And in us in particular, in our family, we'll be making our own formula from a recipe from my midwife. There are options today for our babies that people in past centuries did not have. And that is such a blessing and should be celebrated, not shamed.
00:23:11
Speaker
Now, given this little bit of history, I now want to go to the theology aspect. How does the gospel speak into this? Well, as I said before, anytime someone is experiencing shame and guilt surrounding something, we know that the gospel is going
The 'Mommy Wars' and Theological Implications
00:23:28
Speaker
to speak to it. We know that God has something to say about it, right? But as I was thinking through this episode, my first quandary was, why is this happening?
00:23:39
Speaker
Why is this happening, this animosity? I've heard many theories, I've listened to a lot of different podcasts talk about the mommy wars, but the idea that the mommy wars are just because of comparison is kind of a little bit of a shallow answer. There's got to be more to it than this. Why is there so much anger? Why is there so much willingness to make icky, ugly comments about other women
00:24:08
Speaker
especially online, but even in person when they aren't doing what is quote unquote best for their child. Well, there's a couple things at play.
00:24:20
Speaker
And the three that we're going to talk about are legalism, idolatry, and a misapplication of the theology of suffering. Let's start with legalism. I have a whole episode of Verity on Legalism. I would suggest listening to that if you're new to what this is. Typically when we talk about this, the images that may conjure up in your mind are super strict modesty standards, you know, legalistic
00:24:47
Speaker
difficult dating relationships where you have to, you know, be betrothed or only courting, etc. And that might be what you think of when you think legalism. But remember, legalism is any shortcut to holiness. It's any time that we're trying to make ourselves more holy in God's eyes. Now, you might be thinking, I have never thought breastfeeding was legalism.
00:25:13
Speaker
And I can understand why at first glance, but you're going to see in just a second why the mommy wars as a whole, the arguments about car seats and sleep training and breastfeeding and everything else really comes down to legalism and idolatry. So idolatry, how does that play in? Well, we become what we worship. We become what we worship when we worship motherhood.
00:25:41
Speaker
when everything about our life revolves around our kids. We end up becoming bound to that thing. Our identity is now in our children. And so for someone to question anything we do for our children becomes a question of our own identity.
00:26:03
Speaker
This is why women get so mad when you question a certain parenting choice, when you question breastfeeding, or you say, I chose not to do it. Well, if she willingly chose not to do it, she obviously doesn't think it's the very best. But if you believe it is not only the very best, but it is integral to your children,
00:26:30
Speaker
your children are your world that woman downplaying the greatness of breastfeeding is a personal statement against you and this is why the mommy wars exist because if you find your identity in motherhood and you find your identity you are now defined by I am a co-sleeping breastfeeding home-birthing mom or I am
00:26:55
Speaker
whatever other parenting choice you want to say. I'm just listing off the crunchy things that are in my world. If that becomes your identity, if someone does not choose that identity or they downplay it, they choose something else, an insecure person is going to react negatively or even with anger because they feel personally attacked
00:27:24
Speaker
Now as Christians, followers of Christ, our identity is with Him.
Motherhood, Identity, and Legalism
00:27:31
Speaker
It's seated with Christ in the heavens. We are justified and we are being sanctified by Him. Our purpose is in Him. And so everything we do, all the choices we make with motherhood, with our kids,
00:27:45
Speaker
are moving us towards his goals for our family and every decision we make in motherhood also should be led by the spirit and that means that for one person it may look very different than for another person and that's why legalism is the issue.
00:28:06
Speaker
Idolatry and legalism go hand in hand. Legalism is not God's way. He is not asking you to create more laws in order to please Him. But if you have your identity in something else, if you're worshipping something else, you're going to have to have a whole new set of laws.
00:28:24
Speaker
idolatrous people become legalistic because they take that law that they've created and they apply it to everyone else. And so while we might love the parenting choices we've made and we might love the motherhood that we have, I love having my babies naturally. I've seen the science. I think it's amazing. It's phenomenal and it's a profoundly spiritual experience, even though it's very difficult.
00:28:51
Speaker
But here's the thing, that's a very personal decision for me that I feel at peace with the Lord about and I know is physically safe so far. That doesn't mean that every other person can't have a spiritual experience in their birth if they have it in a hospital or they have it with an epidural and not at home. This is where the wheels fall off the mommy wars.
00:29:16
Speaker
because idolatry and legalism cannot promote unity. They cannot see beyond their own narrow little view of the world. And it's really sad.
00:29:31
Speaker
Now, the third aspect of this conversation is the misapplication of the theology of suffering. And this is what I've heard frequently. In fact, I've had people message me saying, well, you know, it's more Christ-like to breastfeed because, and if it's, you know, just because it's hard doesn't mean that you should quit because, you know, Jesus suffered for us and we're called to suffer like Jesus.
00:29:57
Speaker
And at first I thought about this, I thought, okay, there's citing scripture saying, you know, we're called to share in Christ's sufferings. Well, why doesn't this settle right with me? So I started looking through scripture and I talked to some godly friends about this, you know, what, what is going on here with this theology of suffering?
00:30:15
Speaker
that we're comparing breastfeeding to Christ's suffering. And therefore, if you don't breastfeed, you don't press through the difficulty or say you don't have a natural birth, you don't press through the difficulty that somehow you are not being Christ like. Or maybe say, you know, you think that it's more Christ like if you intentionally don't sleep train your kids and therefore don't sleep for six years versus a woman who does sleep train her kids and start sleeping when they're six months.
00:30:45
Speaker
Why is it that we have glorified martyrdom motherhood? The more miserable I am, the less sleep I have, the harder it is, the more supermom I am. You know, this is my badge of honor because I'm run ragged. Is this scriptural? Is that what Christ meant by sharing in his sufferings?
00:31:12
Speaker
this is where we need to look very clearly at what scripture is talking about when it talks about suffering. The suffering in scripture is suffering that was not intentionally chosen. It is something that happens to you. And so in motherhood we may have some very difficult hardship. You may have a special needs child that is far more demanding than
00:31:35
Speaker
the average child would be. Maybe you have a season where your child is very sick and yeah, you're not sleeping. Or maybe just the typical difficulties of parenting small kids or potty training. We're also doing that right now. These can be trials, right? And they're opportunities for us to show the sanctification of Christ as He works in us. But here's where suffering does not apply.
00:32:06
Speaker
It does not apply when we intentionally choose a path on a freedom issue and then apply that path to other people. So here's an example. Let's say someone chooses to have a natural birth like I do.
00:32:27
Speaker
And then going through that natural birth, they say, you know, I felt so close to Christ through the difficulty of this natural birth. Therefore, it is more Christ-like to go through the difficulty, the suffering of birth, than to get an epidural. That is not what Christ is talking about with suffering.
Misinterpretations of Biblical Suffering
00:32:53
Speaker
The suffering is something that you have no choice in, something that the Lord allowed to happen, that you're walking through with Him, with no alternatives. Further, this suffering is not a freedom issue. It's not something that, you know, one person may have a totally different path that God is not going to judge as wrong in His eyes.
00:33:20
Speaker
epidurals are not a sin issue. Formula and breastfeeding, they are not sin issues. And when we try to say, if you don't choose this path, you are not reflecting Christ's suffering, you're choosing the easy way out, and therefore you are not as holy, or you are not as strong a believer. These are things I have actually heard, you guys. This is stuff that's being said by Christians.
00:33:47
Speaker
then you aren't bearing in Christ's sufferings and therefore the assumption is that the more Christ-like thing would be to bear pain. This cannot be our motivation for making decisions. This cannot be how we go about deciding how to parent and how to birth our babies and how to feed our babies because this is not what scripture supports.
00:34:13
Speaker
A misapplication of the theology of suffering is asceticism. I'm going to read you a little description of asceticism and why it's so unbiblical. Asceticism comes from the Greek word eschasis, meaning exercise, training, or practice. Ascetics renounce worldly pleasures that distract from spiritual growth and enlightenment and live a life of austerity and extreme self-denial.
00:34:38
Speaker
Stoics believe that holiness can reside only in the spiritual realm and all physical matter is evil. We talked about this in the birth and pregnancy episode, but also in the sexuality episode. So, ascetics do not necessarily believe that the flesh is evil, but they do go to great lengths to deny the flesh in order to transform the mind or free the spirit. Historically, asceticism has involved fasting, exposing oneself to heat or cold, sleep deprivation, flagellation, and more.
00:35:06
Speaker
Now this particular author gave a really great little piece at the end here that shows us why this is so wrong for Christians. Followers of Christ are told to deny self, but asceticism takes this command to an extreme. The Bible never suggests that a Christian should purposely seek out discomfort or pain.
00:35:28
Speaker
On the contrary, God has richly blessed us with everything for our enjoyment. The Bible warns of those who forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods. It is erroneous to believe that celibates who abstain from certain foods are more holy than other people. We are under grace, not under law.
00:35:48
Speaker
Therefore, the Christian does not live by a set of rules, but by the leading of the Holy Spirit. Christ has set us free, John 8, 36. In many cases, the ascetic practices self-denial in order to earn God's favor or somehow purge himself from sin. This shows a misunderstanding of grace. No amount of austerity can earn salvation or merit God's love.
00:36:12
Speaker
So, you might not be exposing yourself to heat or cold in order to prove something to the Lord, but maybe you're making some parenting decisions because you think that you must do that in order to be the best possible parent, to be Christ-like, and that if you're doing the absolute hardest thing that God is somehow more pleased by you.
00:36:32
Speaker
that he's more pleased by you if you have a natural birth, that he's more pleased by you if you spend another month breastfeeding even though your postpartum anxiety is skyrocketing and your baby is losing weight.
00:36:45
Speaker
That is not how our God works. It is not how our God works. Our God is in the business of freedom. We don't make decisions of any kind, but especially with our families, out of this feeling that we have to prove something to people or to God. And this also plays into who are we really doing this for? Are you doing this because of the pressure of the people around you or because you really want to?
00:37:14
Speaker
Because if you really want to keep going, keep doing it, get the solutions. But for me, what I had to realize in this area, this is specifically to me and breastfeeding for you, it might be a different issue. For me, it was saying, you know what? I don't have to prove anything to myself or to the world. I know I'm going to be taking care of my baby. And so I have peace because I am not under legalism.
00:37:42
Speaker
And I am not going to worship or put my identity in my motherhood, in my decisions. And I'm not going to let what other people are doing feel like a threat against those decisions.
00:37:54
Speaker
It's not enough to just say, you do you, or be happy for her, or don't compare. We have to get down to the root of why we're doing what we're doing. Breastfeeding here is just the example. It's just the vehicle. This really points to a whole issue underlying the mommy wars in general, and we'll talk about that in the motherhood episode.
00:38:16
Speaker
But what I really, really want to challenge you is to think about your theology of suffering. Are you creating a theology of suffering that isn't what Christ taught? See, if Christ gives you a specific trial, He will see you through that. He will equip you for it. But if you choose a suffering because you feel like it's the, quote unquote, Christ-like thing,
00:38:40
Speaker
and yet in that you have no peace, you have to ask yourself, did God call you to this or did you choose to do this? Whatever it is, whether it's a natural birth or how you're diapering your kid or whether you're co-sleeping or what school you're putting them in or whether you're breastfeeding or using formula, it applies to all of this. See, when the Holy Spirit's leading your decisions,
00:39:07
Speaker
This is why one woman can have total peace and a spiritual birth that's a C-section. And one woman can have total peace and a spiritual birth that's a home birth. Because when you're walking with God, he knows what's best for you and that baby and your family. And ultimately, what is he after? That your baby had breast milk for their first year? Or that your baby knows him?
00:39:34
Speaker
We have to get to the root of these things. We have to think about what is my theology because my theology is playing out in these tiny decisions, like how I view pregnancy and how I look at my body and what I feed my baby. It's amazing that our theology impacts it all, but it does.
00:39:58
Speaker
So with this episode, once again, I always have to make sure to add clarity. I'm not anti breastfeeding. This was my particular challenge. For some of you who listened to the birth and pregnancy episode, your particular challenge was your birth story or your infertility.
00:40:17
Speaker
In whatever the case may be, we have to submit our hearts to the Lord and the gospel's influence and say, I'm not going to live a legalistic life. I'm not going to apply my laws to someone else. And I'm not going to apply what the Spirit has completely convicted me, individually led me to do onto them. And I'm not going to create an idol out of motherhood. I'm not going to worship my kids. I'm going to lead my kids in worshiping God.
00:40:44
Speaker
And lastly, I'm not going to subscribe to this ascetic view of Scripture that says the more I suffer and the more miserable I am, the better mom
Verity's Mission and Future Episodes
00:40:53
Speaker
I am. The more run ragged I am, you know, the better I am. That's not what Christ teaches.
00:41:01
Speaker
He teaches that He will sustain you and His grace will be sufficient for you, but His grace is only sufficient for you in the suffering that He has permitted, not the suffering that you have chosen for yourself, that maybe He was never even asking you to walk in. I know this is a lot to think about, and we're going to dive more into this in the motherhood episode.
00:41:25
Speaker
In that episode, we're actually going to get into the quote that I have heard regarding these same topics. There is no trophy for having a natural birth, et cetera. We're going to get into that in the motherhood episode. But for now, I'm going to stop this here.
Closing Remarks
00:41:45
Speaker
I hope this gave you some things to think about. And as usual, thank you so much for listening to Verity podcast. If you like others to be able to listen to some of our episodes,
00:41:55
Speaker
please leave a review. It helps us so much to get the word out to more listeners is to leave a review. Whether you leave a full review of your thoughts and what you've enjoyed or whether you just leave the star review, both are extremely helpful to getting the word out for the podcast. Thank you as always for listening and we'll be back next week with our episode on motherhood.
00:42:20
Speaker
Thank you for joining us for today's episode of Verity. You can connect with fellow listeners by following me on Instagram at Felicia Masonheimer or on our Facebook page by the same name. Also visit FeliciaMasonheimer.com for links to each episode and the show notes.