Nonsensical Nonsense 181 How would you like your porn...

Transcript

Speaker: alive i was gonna say it's yeah there it goes

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: What's going on everybody? Happy Humpty. Hopefully you guys are enjoying your week so far. We've almost made it everybody. Hang tight.

Speaker: We're almost there. Nevermind. The hamster wheel was turning and I was going to say something. But I, I thought better against it. Anywho, welcome to that physical nonsense. You know who I am. I'm Glick. If you don't know who I am, shame on you. We got your friend in the building and the big dog is here.

Speaker: Don't know if Tony will be here. I know he said that he was going to be starting working some swing shifts, mandatory thing. What's going on? So I don't know when that starts to be honest with you. But he may or may not be here. If not, that's all good. We'll hold down the fort. If you guys aren't already, go ahead and check us out on them socials. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok.

Speaker: Don't forget you can join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday on YouTube and Twitch. Come hang out in the chatter's box. Say hello. Carry on with the conversation with this speaker, the chatter's box. What's going on in the chatter's box, which all the night.

Speaker: And if you can't join us live, that's okay. You can listen to us anytime you like, wherever you want, however you want, on Spotify and basically everywhere you listen to podcasts at. All ad nonsense for nonsense. Go give us a follow, give us a like, give us a listen, and if you like what you hear, don't be afraid to share. Go ahead and tell your friends about it. Sharing is caring. And with that being said, let's light this candle and watch this motherfucker burn, boys.

Speaker: I have a I have a mild announcement. I'm starting a new business. You're not starting a new business. I'm starting a new business. My business, I'm going to fix women's librators. I'm going to I'm going to call it inspect her gadgets. You already fixed the vibrators when they see you, they use the vibrators. You're done. Goodbye.

Speaker: He's the time. Hey, Greg, how are you doing? That took three minutes. Stop hitting the button, dummy. That's what I was doing. Stevie Wonder, what's up? There we go. Gotta start out with those dad jokes, boy. Let me tell you. Oh, that one's a dad joke.

Speaker: Well, something else. Sad. As I said, I just can't go and watch it burn. Jeff just comes rolling in with a can of gas. Oh, we're burning shit down. All right, watch this. You said we're going to burn some. I am, however, starting a new business adventure. Hey, I'm telling you, did it not work?

Speaker: I gave up on my OnlyFans idea. Clearly that's not going to work. So I've decided that I'm going to start a rent a boyfriend business. So you don't have to go to holiday events. You don't have to go to holiday events on your own. So right now we have our Thanksgiving special.

Speaker: where you can get the silver package and that's $75 plus a plate of food. Uh, we can wear matching outfits. I hang out for two hours at dinner and then I'll tell a few jokes, you know, make the family laugh. If you want a little bit more, you can get the gold package. That's going to run you 150 plus a plate. Obviously I'm coming to dinner. I got to eat. You're going to get three hours at dinner, a cute backstory of how we met and Lord knows I can tell a story.

Speaker: So it'll be something that only lifetime can dream about. And does the gold package include you calling her father? Yes. You also get with the gold package details about what I do for a living, which again, it's all fabricated. So again, another story.

Speaker: Uh, and, and also with that we call, we call dad pops. Yes. But there's still more. You can always get that. You can always upgrade to the platinum package. That's 350 plus a plate plus a, plus a to -go plate. So, you know, mama's got to fix me a little doggy bag, you know, with that you get all day. I'll hang out with you all day long with your family. Uh, tell you, I love you in front of the whole fam. Kiss your mom on the cheek and help clean up after dinner.

Speaker: Well, the Christmas and the New Year's Eve packages are, they're in the works. We haven't worked out the pricing and, and all that stuff yet, but, but I need you to find my tattoo. In our Spotify link, you'll be able to find our calendar links so you can set up a link for it. And we can do 4th of July. We can do Labor Day, you know, anyhow, Halloween. Are you willing to proudly?

Speaker: Well, that would include expenses here. We'd have to discuss, you know, expenses would have to be covered and stuff like that. Exactly. Yeah, so it would cost a little bit extra, but I'm willing to try it out. Technically, I kind of did that, like, through the weeks ago. I was technically - I mean, Halloween's right around the corner. Nobody wants to go to a Halloween party single or solo, so I had a boyfriend for the night. Yeah, and you didn't even call me for red solo for you.

Speaker: copy. And then and then you lift me up and every rent and every rent a boyfriend package comes free of charge with a breakup story. So you can tell him how horrible I was. I cheated. You know, I slept with your sister at Thanksgiving. You know, what about

Speaker: Well, I mean, this wouldn't work for Jeff other than the fact that he's married. But what about the ear touches? Oh, no, that's costing. That's a $5 for the prostitution. Yeah, I agree with Chris. That's for sure. That's the prostitution area. But we can work out the details. We set up a 15 -minute meeting. You know what I love? We actually be. You know what I love about this?

Speaker: I love how Jeff has this all figured out for you and he's married. Well, Jeff and I were talking about it the other day. Who do you think came up with the ideas? This is something you know, here's the thing. He's kind of lived vicariously through you. I actually, I have, I have, uh, I said the same thing I said to you Chris, I said to my wife and she's, you know, if the money's right, I'll rent your ass out. I'm up for going for dinners all day long.

Speaker: Hold on, hold on, hold on. Moment of silence. Okay. We just gotta do a moment of silence, because he told his wife he would rent his wife's ass out. No, no, my wife said she would rent my ass out. Oh. The exact opposite. Yeah, she would, she would horn me out, basically, if the money's right. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker: Well, I mean, as Chris knows, it costs a fortune to feed my fat ass. So Chris sees my meals most of the time. He's like, good God, fat ass. So, you know, it would probably save thousands of dollars to rent my ass out. Damn. Well,

Speaker: uh damn no but uh i i did send that to her and she's like hey somebody's willing to pay for it one last thing i one last meal i have to cook and i was like exactly right right no i thought it was something i knew it's funny yeah i was it would be i was telling a friend a friend of mine that he was like

Speaker: He's sitting on my Snapchat. And he was like, wait, wait, wait, wait. You gotta give the backstory. So I found this on Facebook and I tagged Chris in it. And I said, Chris, I found you a part -time gig. Chris copied the picture and it's literally the list of the packages. He copied it and put it on his Snapchat. How many invites did you get, Chris? Like six, but they were mostly from dudes.

Speaker: Hey, just, just flip your wrist. I saw that thing. No, it was funny. It was funny because my one, my one buddy, my one buddy, he was like, he was like, send me the link. And I was like, Oh, you're going to rent me as your boyfriend. And he was like,

Speaker: Yeah. Can we drink beers together? And I'm like, yeah. And he was like, he was like, then I'm just going to pimp you out because you're my boyfriend for the day and we'll split the profits 60 40. And I was like, how do I get him down? Um, actually, you know, here's that take off that's going around. It's like, yo.

Speaker: You, you marry, you marry the student. It's like, let's put everything straight down the middle, but no, do whatever you want with all these girls and stuff. The benefits motorcycles together. The dual, it's the tax breaks and all that stuff. It's just like being married, but you'd basically have a guy roommate.

Speaker: that's what it is. Yeah. I mean, so, who knows? Maybe it'll actually work. Who knows? Maybe it'll actually work and then I can fund my tattoo addiction. Exactly. You know, you gotta have fun in that tattoo addiction. Well, you know, I, I have an idea for your tattoo edition. Um,

Speaker: buy a tattoo gun and teach your kids how to tattoo. I can barely draw a stick figure, let alone the elaborate tattoos I want. I was going to say, I was going to say, we don't need a bunch of the, what is that, the S everybody used to draw, the three lines, the six lines. You just have like 400 of those.

Speaker: Like a Louis Vuitton. What is it? It's a wolf coming out of the forest with a moneer. It looks like a stick figure with a wok head and some lines. Yeah, that's what it is. And you drew a hammer. Yeah, it's a hammer. I traced it. I got my little mini hammer out and I traced it. No, my idea is to have the Sarah Lockland commercial, the Sarah Lockland song played in the back.

Speaker: Oh, this is Chris. He cannot afford his tattoo nation, but you can. He's been living, he's gone through many days without love and appreciation. His mom has died on him when he was such a young lad of 30 and nobody loves him anymore.

Speaker: But the only thing that he's got going for is his tattoos. We could donate him just $2 a day. He could have those tattoos so he would feel loved and appreciated. That's about as far as I got, but I'm thinking I'm on the right path on that. For $2 a day. $2 a day. Say goodbye, guys.

Speaker: We go to the, in all honesty, he really is the only thing I got going on for me in my life right now. Just two hours a day. You give me this man's drinks come true. Yeah. I got a lot. I got much else to look forward to. Oh, we can.

Speaker: He lives in a closet because he can only afford a two bedroom apartment and his kids are with him now. So food is scarce. He pimps himself out and states, you know, nobody actually wants to date him, but, but he'll be somebody pretend boyfriend.

Speaker: to pretend for a day I can pretend. Where did that before go? Well, I have no idea. I didn't make one of them that bad. No, I, you know, the tattoo is really, I mean, they're not that expensive. I did have to reschedule. I was supposed to have an appointment tomorrow, but I had to reschedule because

Speaker: unexpected expenses with the kids dipped into my tattoo. Don't you? Yeah, my tattoo guy was like, just pop into the shop whenever you got a free time. We'll get you in. We'll get you taken care of. I'm like, oh yeah, that's my guy. That's my fucking guy. And if you're in the North area, swinging them higher tattoo and sale under dusting, let me get you tatted up. Looking right. If I had an extra $400, $500,

Speaker: 9 hours drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive drive

Speaker: Yeah, like a real haunted house, but like the, like the, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody. I've been thinking about. Is your shit haunted? No. Yeah. Just go to a random neighborhood and start knocking on doors. Hey, is your house haunted? Hey, did you know?

Speaker: But I need to go and get all my Halloween decorations put out. I've been putting it off. I got mine out the other day. Monday before the show, we got ours. I got mine out. Where I live at, they really do Halloween on daytime. And there's a chance that you haven't done any Halloween decorations. It's like really cool. I get it. My neighbor did. You're glitching out real bad, Mike. Glitching out bad. I'm hearing every third word.

Speaker: You might have a refresher. Oh, did it get better or no? I did tell you I'm in a secret underground bunker. So is it better? Your mom and dad's basement. No, it's like, it starts out good. Is it now, funny man? Take that when you're Sarah McLaughlin's son. Guys.

Speaker: need help. Nobody loves me. Not even my kids. Two dollars a day. Seriously debating going up to Home Depot. They got a 12 foot skeleton. But anyway, what I was going to tell you Jeff, this is for you. After I'm done with it, just leave it up your round.

Speaker: Am I still glitching? Yes. Do you have a hotspot on your phone? You're full of shit. I was going to say, yeah, you got a hotspot on your phone? No. No. Well, I mean, I do. I don't know how that works. Just turn it on. Turn it on. I guess I can connect to it. I mean, it's not that hard. Yeah, but I never signed into Samsung. No, but it's basically like another Wi -Fi. We don't have to sign into that.

Speaker: You just connect your computer to it as opposed to the router. Yeah. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. I'm putting this on my laptop. Right. Connect your laptop to your phone and use the Wi -Fi from your phone. Yeah, if you turn your hotspot on your phone and then it'll pop up where your Wi -Fi connections are is the new Wi -Fi connection. Yeah, and you can connect it and get better signal.

Speaker: I do it all the time. That's what I did Saturday night. Yeah. No, but they got this 12 foot skeleton. They got to the one where he disappeared for the last half of the show. Well, that was that was his because his phone broke. That's why I had to go buy a new phone. If you'd been here Monday, you'd have known that. Oh, no, my phone didn't break when I when I left the show. My phone broke later on that night.

Speaker: Because after I, whatever happened, I don't know if my service just. Well, you said that. Yeah, I think it was, I think it was the service on the cabin. No, but, uh, I can't make it work. Yes. Extremely bad. Yeah. We, um, no, yeah. Like I said, I don't know what happened, but yeah, that, that happened later on that night when my, when my phone broke.

Speaker: Yeah, no, we have shit. Yo, guys. Yo, Cash. I got a question for you. What? Keep Christian coming. Huh? Christian. Why? Because we'll play on the porch. I'm right in the middle of going to show you guys can play on the porch. You won't be loud. You're loud without him in here. You won't. You'll stay in my room and watch TV. Why is he going to come in my house? Because what? Because what? Because what? Because Mike's internet has left the building.

Speaker: I don't care guys. Nice mark. Where the fuck am I gonna put it after Halloween? Where's the phone?

Speaker: Just leave it in the trunk of the car. That'd be hilarious. Doesn't it come apart? You're not buying a 12 -foot fucking skeleton. You're going to buy it in a box in pieces. Yeah, it comes in parts, but that's what I'm saying. It would be hilarious to keep it in the trunk of the car. That's not a bad idea. How many different languages do I have to say yes in for you to understand what yes means?

Speaker: See we yes Yeah, my friend come in. Yes. Yeah, my friend come in. Yeah Yeah season or I think that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna buy it I'm gonna put it in the off season I open up the trunk Every time I get pulled over I open up the trunk and there's

Speaker: skeleton there. I gotta I gotta send that video to you guys. Which one? Hey, I'm sure they've seen it. There's a video that I've seen the other day that had me rolling man. It's this comedian J. Arnaz. He's talking about his brother who has special needs. And his favorite word is motherfucker. Nice. Let's introduce our new guest.

Speaker: That shit had me rolling. But on a serious note, can you come in? You got right? Oh, I am beat. I'm I'm I called you today and I never got to call you back because I just got swamped over. Oh, nightmare. It's been it's been a crazy day today. I just

Speaker: for as little clients as I have. I think everybody called me today. I had in eight hours, I had 212 phone calls coming in, 225 in eight hours. Sounds like fun. Oh my God, it was all days nonstop.

Speaker: I have my son for your job to be. Hello. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. Bring brain. You're sending money. Excellent. Thanks. Hello. This is I don't. Mueller. Mueller. What is Jeff? My name is Jeff and I'm calling about your cards extended warranty. What's the, what was that one? Uh,

Speaker: Rob Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire, she calls him, he's like, I am Joe. She's like, is this about the job? He's like, I am Joe. Just over the board. The position is built. There he is. It's a hard point. It was just all there. Is that better?

Speaker: So far, you've said three words. Now, Mike, I sent Chris the funniest thing I have seen to the point where when I called Chris today, I was laughing while he answered the phone. Did you know that there are 60 types of hamsters

Speaker: on the planet but there's only three hamsters that we keep we as people keep as pets for more info on this go to xhamster .com exactly what i did i was like oh shit they got me i said that to chris and i was i called him i said i was the funniest things i've ever had water or something in my mouth

Speaker: Because wow, um for the young generation who doesn't know what extra is Exactly no, don't tell Mike if you don't know you don't know You're glitching again, but yeah, we I literally saw it There's nothing I can do about it right now. Yeah, I said it to Chris and I called him dude. Check your tiktok as I'm giggling

Speaker: what's going on but what made it worse was this guy's in a fucking pet store filming hamsters while he's saying it and i was just like this motherfucker got me i'm gonna get chris how did he take you think he did saying that was a street

Speaker: I don't know. That is a good question. I'll repeat the question because Mike's glitching. But how many takes do you think he did trying to make that video? It would have taken me like 10 at least, because I'd have been giggling the whole time. It would have taken Glick three weeks. He's still laughing about it. Yeah, well, I mean, I literally, as I was calling it. I'm good at that kind of, I'm great at delivering a punch line.

Speaker: No, it's not the punchline. It's knowing that that punchline is coming, what got me. Yeah, but I mean, it's his joke. Yeah, well, it's probably not his joke. I'm sure he read it somewhere on Facebook and said, oh, my bad. And then he just took the opportunity. Yeah. Yeah, he took a meme and turned it into a joke. Oh, my God, I lost it.

Speaker: I love jokes like that. That guy, he's the guy, he does the sound for, I used the sound, it was like, I'm so bored, I sent a

Speaker: bunch of flowers of my neighbor, Steve, saying, I miss you. Oh, yeah. Kiss, kiss. Yeah, that one. And that, that, yeah, you can hear the background woman yelled at her husband. And that sound has got serious views. That guy, that guy says, I'm assuming he's British or Australian. I can't tell.

Speaker: But he got me with that one. Oh. I had Michael Itchis. He's like, that's interesting. Oh, son of a bitch. You can see it go over his face, too, as he was like. Inflammational. With you, I knew. I knew there was nothing that I could work on this. And it was going to go dark and bloody quick.

Speaker: Well, no, it was a clean joke. It's a clean joke. It's a clean joke. It's not even, it's only funny until the person doesn't get it and actually looks about it. Yeah, that's when it's even funnier. Well, no, but what's funny is, I called a buddy of mine at work and I told him the same joke.

Speaker: And he's like, wait, what? He's like, hold on, let me look it up. And he goes, you son of a bitch. And then I hung up on him. Well, I know Blake is going to talk to him because he's oddly being quiet through all of this. So he's got either something going on in private, or he's got something up, and so he's waiting for one of those idiots. He's watching Amsterdam right now.

Speaker: Sorry, I was accidentally watching gay porn for the last 30 minutes. Oh, we're doing a podcast, my bad. Oh no, how did this get on my phone again? That's not supposed to be here.

Speaker: Connor wants to know when Tony lost his hand, grew a beard and got heavyset. I can't mention the comments when these two won't shut the fuck up. Calm down Connor.

Speaker: He's like, answer my question, you pussy. He's basically saying that you are the witch version of Tony. Broke some extra pounds. Tony eats on every episode. He ain't far from getting my way. That motherfucker eats more than I do, but he probably weighs less than I do.

Speaker: No, Tony's bigger. Tony's bigger. He's big like me. Yeah, he's big like me. Is it all the same? If he weighed less than you, he would probably look a borderline anorexic. Yeah. What is he, like 6 '3"? 6 '4"? But Connor, the best question at all, you can't answer. I think he's about 260. He's a little bit lighter than I am. 64, it's all the same. Is it really?

Speaker: I don't know if you heard Kevin, but I think only you and Jeff know the answer to that one. I don't know. I don't know if you heard what Kevin just said, but he got you, Mike. He burned you. Like you need to get some sun's head green. He said he burned you. Mike is a wish version of Chris.

Speaker: Don't be an asshole

Speaker: Assholes are people who have no regard for other people, their feelings and their point of view. If you feel that you may be an asshole and are suffering from the Assholeism, there is help for you. Contact your local Assholes Anonymous Hotline and be sure to check yourself into the Asshole Rehabilitation Centre for the benefit of everybody.

Speaker: you that was for that was for kevin don't be an asshole man just don't choose goodness can you be like adam stanworth bring out the coin yeah

Speaker: What was it I watched yesterday? I watched something like this. I started to watch that. Well, anyways, boys. Man, they curse more than I do. Connor, I thought... Connor says, laugh my ass off. Lick, you're an asshole. Anonymous. Well, if every member knows who's in it,

Speaker: Then it's not anonymous, is it, Connor? No, it's just like alcohol. It's just like alcoholics anonymous. It's just like alcoholics anonymous. You only know the first name. From my understanding, I don't know. Connor, I'm actually speechless. I don't know what to say about that. So I'm just going to leave it alone.

Speaker: You know, you know, I did find something that I think

Speaker: There was a lull. I just had to go with it. I still like Jim Carrey's version.

Speaker: Impostor, I'm just a middle class working from Toronto, in spite of how I sound. I'm single, I'm black and I'm bigger than Molly and Jimmy and Yellman, but I'm not in mulatto. My reggae's watered down. Get me on the radio, think I could not be blacker. But on my video, you see I'm really a cracker. Pretending I was a racist since I was in jammies. I should paint my face and start bedding out Mary, making criticism.

Speaker: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Speaker: the way you do it. If you put Chris saying that.

Speaker: No, but if you literally put, if you watch that video of the imposter video, Jim Carrey literally flips his tongue up and down and it literally all I hear when he's doing it is I hear Chris doing his version. I added the fade out. The fade out made it so much better. The fade out that I added to it makes it so much better.

Speaker: Well, you know, it's one of those drop the bike moments because I can catch Tony at any moment with the no matter what we're talking about I can just hit him with it and he's just At this point I don't understand why he's surprised I mean honestly he's on a show with three crackers who also also happen to be the village idiots and

Speaker: of our locations. So I don't understand why he at this point, why is he surprised? I'll have you know that once I started hanging out with you guys and doing this podcast, I was promoted

Speaker: to king of the village idiots because apparently our village has more than one village idiot we have several as they say as they say in the land of the blind the one -eyed man is king

Speaker: We are basically a village of idiots and I rule the kingdom of idiot. Idiocracy. We got me. Yeah, we got we got we got me. We got Jeff. We got Mike. We got Tony. We got Brian. We got. You're the type of idiots. Come over here, guys. Come over here. Come over here. I lure the idiots in with my sweet song of

Speaker: All the idiots got here. We're here. Is that the Jim Carrey version? What are we doing? I don't know, but we'll go this way. I have you locked in with my chance. Well, I'm happy to... I mean, I know the social standing. I, in fact, am a dimwit, whereas Jeff is a halfwit, and Glick is not promoted as a wholewit. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I identify. I identify as stupid.

Speaker: Oh, Connor, you're not wrong. You're not wrong at all, Connor. He said him and I were the village idiot fucking mafia at Abercrombie. We were the two. Oh, Abercrombie and Pincher. Are they still a thing? Is that still a thing? Holy crap. Yeah, Chris just went to the event last year. I just went there and I've been a couple of weeks ago.

Speaker: Well, Scrabby is still like a huge company. Just because you never go to the mall. Well, no, it's not that Mike doesn't go to the mall. At the end of the day, they don't have clothes to fit him. So he's never been anyone. Trust me. I have you know that once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away,

Speaker: I used to wear Abercrombie and French and French and American Eagle. I mostly wore American Eagle. Yes. And then you became 10. Jeff's wife was born by Abercrombie and French. Well, thank you very much. Well, actually, then I turned 21 and got married, and that was the end of that shit. I've had quite a few. I've had quite a few. I've had quite a few.

Speaker: items of Abercrombie in my clothes or Abercrombie or however the fuck you say it. Yeah. I was just upgraded to, I just upgraded to Whit 2 .0 apparently. I literally, my wife's in the house with t -shirts and sweatshorts so she made me go buy all my fucking clothes at American Eagle and

Speaker: I have to, since I make so much money. She made you buy clothes to sit in the fucking, in your own stink in the bathroom? No, no, no. She said she makes so much, wait a minute, no. I'm in the office, when I'm here in the office, I'm allowed to dress like a slob. But when I leave the house, I'm no longer allowed to dress like a, like I have no money. Fit, no. I make, she, her exact quote is, you make too much money to sit around, walk around town in a t -shirt with paint stains on it and it's shorts with holes in it.

Speaker: I'm like, but that's comfortable. Make decent money and I'll be goddamn nine times out of 10 unless I'm going somewhere and you know, if I'm just going to the grocery store or going to, yeah, I'm going to sweatpants and a t -shirt. Oh, 100%. Or if it's summertime, I got basketball shorts on. If we go out, if we go out, it's like we go out to dinner and you know,

Speaker: Fucking parties with her friends. I don't know. Maybe it's a cultural you don't go to parties Where I where I live And the most expensive thing they got on is what's on their feet and what they drive in If it wasn't for that you'd have no idea or their house. That's what I keep No idea how much money they got

Speaker: No, but it's not like they're multimillionaire. They're multimillionaire. I literally, I literally, you know, she, she made me buy a whole bunch of polo shirts and modeling when you went to Abercrombie and bought new clothes.

Speaker: That's what we do. I make no money and I dress like a very fucking godmother. If you were a model, if you were a model at Evercrowd and Fitch, they would go bankrupt tomorrow. Why don't you say? No, everybody be like, I'm good. No, I'm a good look at that. No, that's you. But why do you think? Look, you don't

Speaker: Well, I don't get a whole lot of things going for me, but apparently, my life is going for me. Mental stability, being able to stay in a relationship, you know, any of that stuff is all good. Apparently, I've got good looks. Let me keep my good looks, Jeff, God damn it.

Speaker: You do very well. You do very well when you open your mouth and then it all goes to shift from there. You get the occasional free soda pop.

Speaker: at the gas station yeah i bet you handsome young man would you like a free soda pop are you trying to molest me again again i've already fallen for this trick six times this week you're not going to get me oh shit here we go again is that a popsicle

Speaker: damn walk out of there damn it got me again this pop is this soda pop is delicious disappointed again let me get the big one this time damn it is what it is my friend going for the bomb pop and not the banana

Speaker: I want the big possible stick. I want the bomb pile because I'm the bomb diggity bitch. That's right. And I'm taking these chips too. Yeah, this is mine. It's been six times this week. It's Monday. Shut up, I go to the gas station a lot.

Speaker: down the road. It's I was going to say I could pretty soon pretty soon. Don't be wearing big and tall. Sometimes I get to be the big spoon.

Speaker: What are you going to do, man? What are you going to do? Free pop is a free pop. Exactly. It's been a minute since I've been there.

Speaker: What were you saying, Chris? I'm just saying, Michael. What? Stop putting the ice cream in the kitchen. I love bomb pops. One of the best things ever was when I discovered that Walmart sells bomb pop ice cream. It's everything from a bomb pop always in a court. And I was like, can life get any better? I submit that it cannot. Got a whole court of it. A gallon would be better.

Speaker: let's be honest one of them one of them goddamn pails the monster pails that you buy the like the neapolitan ice cream in remember that no remember the swan man yeah yeah he's still around swan ice cream they they give you those like it's like a five gallon bucket of ice cream yeah you can get a bit walmart that's a yeah walmart and kirkers they all have them that's how you buy the oh excuse me the neapolitan ice cream

Speaker: strawberry vanilla and they all come in there. I barely in the chocolate. I've never been a family of home. I just like the strawberry and vanilla. I do too. I do too. I'm not a big fan of chocolate ice cream, but I found. I'm not a big fan of chocolate period. I say it, but some of my favorite candy bars are chocolate. There is a. We know you don't like chocolate. Ice cream. Jeffery. That is amazing.

Speaker: He's too woke for chocolate. It's Nestle Crunch ice cream. It's amazing. And I'll come for it. That's been out for like 30 years. Oh, I know. Why is it? No, I'm saying regular chocolate. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, it's just, yeah, he's just now going to continue the 16th fob over there. Regular, no, because like Chris said, I'm not a child. God damn Connor. What do you say? Connor.

Speaker: Wow. No, we're not going to read it. Wow. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, he works for Uncle Sam and his dumbass, his dumbass worked for, for, for one, for, for, for one branch. But when he was done working for that branch, he signed up for another branch. He didn't learn his lesson the first time around. Yeah.

Speaker: You know what, the benefits alone, there's times I wish I would have stayed there. But then I wake up at noon and go, now I know why I stayed out. That 6 a .m. wake up call sucks. I'll see myself out. Yes.

Speaker: That was bad. Like I said, I'm not a big chocolate. So I don't I don't go. See you later, Connor. I don't go to chocolate ice cream, but they have. See you later, Connor. That Nestle crunch ice cream. There's Tony. Where the hell are you, sir? Not not in his usual location. He's messaging. Hey, boys.

Speaker: Look what I got here. Hey, where are the white women at? Chris is having an issue, I guess. His camera froze there. Where the hell is Tony? Why are you up there, Tony? Yeah, that's what she said. Laugh, laugh, laugh. Ghost and skull and crossbones, OK.

Speaker: Yeah. Oh, man. Did you set up your appointment, sir? With what? With Mark. Oh, yeah, that's all done. But I'm not talking about that on the show. Okay. So obviously not. I just want to make sure you did. Excuse me. I just sent him another one. My niece is gonna be starting soon. Okay, good deal. Anyways,

Speaker: uh so what is wrong where is where is chris uh he's gonna act now there he is gonna bring himself up there he is are you all right yeah no i just uh your mom was here and i apparently so i had to jump down throw off the apple

Speaker: We did walk right into that one. It was too easy. I didn't walk into it. He was talking about your mom, not mine. No, no. I was talking about your mom. Don't you think? Don't pull out. His mom knows what my best days are. She knows better. Yeah, my mom stays away.

Speaker: My mom literally moved states away.

Speaker: I'm just I just really thankful that you know what doesn't have any stanema because he was gone a whole two minutes. So I'm really glad. No, I sent it out of the way because it was bad caster. Oh, OK. I said, you know better. You know what day it is. I smashed her in the mouth and kicked her down the stairs. Yeah, see you tomorrow. She's under his desk right now.

Speaker: Pop your head up. Connor, you're right. We can't get mad. But that was fucked up. Hey, I enjoyed it. As a military man myself, I get that. Heaven, I don't know if it's a weather or what it is, but I'm having all kinds of issues. Technical difficulties over here. I didn't even say anything to you, you stupid whore.

Speaker: Oh, please talk to your mom again. Oh yeah, she hasn't watched it. No, I was talking to my phone because it was like, this is your Google assistant. What may we do to help you? Mine does that every once in a while too, just out of nowhere. It just starts listening. Just to remind you that, just to remind you that Google's listening. Oh fuck Google, they ain't gonna do shit to me.

Speaker: I don't even use Google most of the time on my phone. That's because Lick hasn't taken over Mexico yet, but just give him a minute. No, I use DuckDuckGo. I use DuckDuckGo. It works like Snapchat. When you exit out of DuckDuckGo, it clears your history instantly. Oh, man. Just using incognito mode.

Speaker: Not anymore. They updated it. Oh, we all laughed at it. It was funny, Connor. Yeah. Oh, it was funny. We're just not going to repeat it. Calm down. I would. I don't know what the hell is going on tonight. I'm having all kinds of technical difficulties over here.

Speaker: You got me fucked up. I didn't want to give a shout out to a friend of mine. She doesn't. No shout outs allowed. I'm trying to fuck you. Hey! Oh, sorry. Only I'm allowed to give them shout outs. That's fine. Fuck you, though. Shout out to Mike's mom. He's a saint. Chris, I just found the perfect Halloween direction to that. She is so nice.

Speaker: I found the perfect Halloween decoration, Chris. I'm sure your mom is a lovely lady, much like, uh, much like Jeffrey's mom. Jeff's mom actually is, she's an amazing woman. I think she's an absolute sweetheart. I love her to death. She put up with Micah, dumbass for two years. So, what up was yours? We all need to do.

Speaker: Exactly. That's all. It's a Halloween decoration. You don't see what it is? It's a grab. It's from Tremors. It's from Tremors. It's from Tremors. How cool is that? I like the, I like the Silence of the Lamb. I like the Silence of the Lamb one that you sent me. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker: That is awesome. I might have to do that next year. I'll have to put it in my room. Actually, what I may do is put it in my room and leave it up all year round and just put it behind me or something so you can see it. Mike, to reference what Chris is talking about, it's that. How cool is that? It's got a basket hanging and everything. I saw that. I said it to Chris.

Speaker: puts the lotion on or it gets the hose again. Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. Doing that pose with your crotch. Would you fuck me? I don't know. When Silent Bob did it, talking between her belly. When Jay did it. When Jay did it.

Speaker: Yeah, when Jay did it, that shit had me dying because I did not see that coming. I was just like, this motherfucker. Have you guys seen Clerks 3 yet? No, where's it at? Not yet, but I'll send you a link. Look, I already know it's bad. I know it's going to be bad. It's not terrible, but it's basically the making of Clerks 1. Is that what it is, like a documentary? Well, Dante,

Speaker: not Dante. Randall has a heart attack and he's in the hospital feeling what was being all this shit. Spoiler alert. It's literally first five minutes of the movie come down. Spoiler alert.

Speaker: Spoiler! Fine, spoiler alert. Dante comes in and says, I just said I wanted to watch it. So how about you shut the fuck up? I'm literally telling you the plot of the fucking story. Roll the asshole video. Roll the asshole video. Go ahead. But it's not terrible. I heard it was kind of bad here, but

Speaker: But, uh, in my opinion... Scariest thing I can think of. Ain't that the fucking truth. Speak for yourself. In my opinion, maybe an unpopular opinion, but I thought Clerks 2 was better than Clerks 1. Oh, 100 % agree. I thought Clerks 2 was hilarious. I'd have to watch Clerks 2 again. I thought Mallrats was funnier than Clerks 1.

Speaker: I do like mole rats. Uh, I do, I prefer dogma. I find dogma to be my favorite. Uh, Connor, to answer your question, Jeff's does, but that's from years of abuse. What's that? What's that? Oh yeah. Oh wow. Damn it. You and your opinions, random Rick is unsubscribing because Mark corpse too was horrible.

Speaker: Thanks a lot, Glick. Shit. Shut up. Fucking Lord of the Rings nerd. You were just butt hurt over the whole trilogy, I think. I do have some... I do have some news, gentlemen. That movie sucked, too. I don't care what anybody says. I do have some news. But I'm not going to say why, because I'll get the nerd video. What is your news, Jeffrey? I'm about to go break. The news is... I missed my action. There is a... Yeah, you did.

Speaker: You missed your timing. There is going to be a new movie. Yeah. A John Candy movie. Ryan Reynolds is making a movie. Oh, yeah. It's on a documentary. And Tom Hanks and Son are doing it. Yeah. Yeah. It says expect tears. Now, there is not a John Candy movie out there that I don't love. I love everything about John Candy slightly overrated.

Speaker: I don't believe that. Let's take a break. Go ahead. John Kenny wasn't overrated. I agree with Mike. That just goes to me. Well, I agree that you're both idiots.

Speaker: If anything, you've done so much more. Oh, 100%. I could agree with you guys, but then we'd all be wrong. Anyway, we're gonna take a break. We got a little Blacktop Mojo for you. We'll be back here in a few minutes. Go check out Blacktop Mojo and all social media at BlacktopMojo. Show the guys some love.

Speaker: I don't know how much longer I left on that tour, but I know they are. Busy, busy. But go show the guys some love on all social media and wherever you stream some music. Let them know we sent you. We'll be back here just a few minutes.

Speaker: In my head

Speaker: You could have

Speaker: Don't you dare to take a note now You know you can't turn me now You can't turn me now You can't turn me now

Speaker: Welcome back to Nonsense School Nonsense. Hopefully you guys are enjoying the show so far. I'm Glick, you already know that. You know that, you know who I am. We got Jeffrey in the building, we got Michael in the building. Fuck you, Connor.

Speaker: That's all I gotta say. Fuck you too, random Rick. And if you guys aren't already good, check us out on all them social medias. There's that girl on - Facebook. On TikTok. There's that girl on TikTok that's got Tourette's that's always, you know, you know, I feel sorry for her, but that's one thing that she always says is, fuck you Connor. That's what I thought was funny.

Speaker: Go ahead and check us out on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Don't forget, if you'd like to, you can join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday on YouTube and Twitch. And if you can't join us live, don't worry. We got you covered because you can get all the episodes when I decide to post them.

Speaker: us Spotify podcast at all at nonsensical nonsense or give us a follow. Give us a like, give us a little subscribe if you will. And, uh, if you like what you hear, give us a share. Tell other people about the show. Don't be greedy. Don't keep us all yourselves. Let us, let us grow. Help us grow. If you will. Like a, like every good SDI credit.

Speaker: Probably not, but... Holy shit. Have you seen this? Probably not a good idea to spread STIs.

Speaker: yet, right? I think I might have to order something online, boys. I'm just hoping it gets here for Halloween, but check this out. That's pretty cool. Right? They're talking pumpkins.

Speaker: There looks like $25 a piece. That's not terrible. I might have to give you a pair. That'd be awesome. I mean, I keep it in my bedroom, hook it up to my Alexa, so it's just like musical. Yeah, right. Do you remember the Billy Bass fish? Remember the Billy Bass fish?

Speaker: Have you seen the guy on TikTok that's got three different kinds of those? And he's got it hooked up to... He's got hooked up to an Alexa. He says it's singing all these different songs. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's been taking a great question. I'm trying to find a couple... I'm trying to get a... I told my wife I'm ordering Billy Bass fish, and I'm gonna do that. So every time she wants to listen to her crap music on Alexa, she gets sung to her by a fish.

Speaker: Uh huh. Me and Glick are the ones that are single and you're still married. It's a marriage of convenience. She pays for Europe trips. I haven't paid for one yet.

Speaker: I mean, if I had somebody around that, I would let me go and venture off to Europe for six months of the year. I would stick around a little bit too. And speaking of Halloween, gentlemen, it is Wednesday. I was going to say, you got some deep dives for us. I got a couple of stories for you. Excellent. A couple of longer longer ish stories.

Speaker: If you will, go ahead and get this out of the way. It's painful, I know, but it is what it is. Are you ready to dive in to the unexplained? The unknown. The unsolved. Look at the truth behind some of our strangest mysteries. It's time for Glick's Deep Dives. It's a deep dive!

Speaker: Dude, I thought I lost my website. I'm ready. Bring it on. Yeah. It is October. It is the smoky season coming to an end. And we're wrapping it up with some ghost stories, haunted houses, and whatnot. And we kind of touched on this last week, but I don't feel like I really, you know, sometimes

Speaker: Jeff and Tony get wrapped up in the one thing. Yeah. And they won't let it go. I don't really have the time. Seems like they're always into your penis and you don't play nuts. I'll give Christian this and he'll give me the bullet. I'll give Christian this and he'll give me the bullet and I'll give Christian this. You gotta get ready to go home and start now.

Speaker: I don't care, Cash. Anyways. Parenting 101, folks. I don't care. I don't care. Trade... Trade in fucking toy guns for another toy. Whatever. We already did the Lockdown Monster, didn't we? That was two months ago. Or last month. Yeah, that was last month. But anyways, last week... He needed to go to Spotify and listen to the episodes

Speaker: And then you would have known about the Loch Ness Monster because Blake covered it. Last, last week we started with some ghost stories and whatnot. And I, of course, you know, doing like I normally do. We try to do the first run of them, make them hit close to home. So we, you know, we brought up a story from Cancun that Jeff knows about. We got one down in Georgia. We had one up in Iowa. And of course we had one here in Ohio, right? Literally in my backyard.

Speaker: Kind of short in my backyard on the road. Actually, I might try to, I might try to go. I feel real, I feel real water though. And check those prisons out. I'll stay away from this word from, from Georgia though. I'll stay away from that. Well, when we were, when we were talking about the, the, the, the ghost story from, from Iowa, we kind of touched on, on this one, the Valeska axe murders house.

Speaker: Yes. And it is a pretty crazy story. And I kind of wanted to dive into it a little bit more. So this is gonna be a little bit longer of a story, if you will.

Speaker: But as the Valeska Axe murder houses, and go ahead and start it off kind of describing the area, you know, the house and whatnot, at the end of the quiet street in Valeska, Iowa, there sits an old farm or an old frame house up the street. There's a group of churches and a few blocks away is a park that faces the middle school. The old white house looks like many of the others that fill the neighborhood.

Speaker: But unlike them, it lies abandoned. That house emits no light or sound. And upon closer inspection, the doors are found to be tightly boarded up. A small sign out front reads, the Valeska axe murder houses, or house, sorry, the houses. Despite its ominous air,

Speaker: The little White House was once filled with life, life that was harshly stamped out on a warm summer's night way back in 1912, when a mysterious stranger broke in and viciously bludgeoned its ape sleeping inhabitants to death. The event would become known as the Valeska Axe Murders, and it would baffle law enforcement for over a century. This happened 100 years ago. To this day. Over 100 years.

Speaker: 1912 right? It's 110 years ago. Still in salt to this day. So dive into what happened.

Speaker: Yeah, we'll go ahead and dive into what happened there. Obviously, we know what happened, but we'll get a little bit more into it. On June 10th of 1912, the Moore family was sleeping peacefully in their beds. Joe and Sarah Moore were asleep upstairs while their four children were resting in a room down the hall, and a guest room on the first floor were two other girls, the Still and Jerk sisters, who had come for a sleepover. Shortly after midnight, a stranger entered through an unlocked door, not uncommon sight,

Speaker: Back in those days, especially in small little towns, you know, I mean, there's still small towns today where, you know, I grew up in, and I know people that don't lock their doors to this day. I do too. I think my grandmother just started locking her door, you know, a few years back after my grandfather passed away. I think I, I still forget to lock my door sometimes. But, um,

Speaker: Yeah, like I said, it was, you know, consider small, safe, friendly town and plucked an oil lamp from a nearby table. Rigging it to burn so low, it's it's applied light for barely one person on one hand. The stranger held the lamp, lighting his way through the house. In his other hand, he had an axe. Ignoring the sleeping girls downstairs, the stranger made his way up the stairs, guided by the lamp. And a seemingly

Speaker: hearing knowledge of the home's layout, he crept past the room with the children and into Mr. and Mrs. Moore's bedroom, killed them, and then he made his way to the children's bedroom, and then finally back downstairs to the bedroom. In each room he committed some of the grisliest murders in America, America's history.

Speaker: Then as quickly and silently he arrived, the stranger left taking keys from the home and locking the door behind him. The axe murders may have been quick, but as the world was about to discover, they were unimaginably horrifying. The next morning, neighbors became suspicious, noticing that the unusually, or usually, sorry, the usually rambunctious home was dead quiet.

Speaker: They alerted Joe's brother who arrived to take a look at what he saw after letting himself in with his own key was enough to make him sick. Everybody in the house was dead. All eight of them bludgeoned beyond recognition. How deep is he going to be to not not hear somebody getting hacked up next to you? That's what I was thinking about. Like how did he target all his first? Right, but I mean you target you targeted the threat first.

Speaker: If I swing at you and your wife is laying next to you, how does your wife not hear you? She's asleep. And if you swing an axe at somebody's head, generally they're going to be dead after one smash. And then you take her out before she even has a chance to realize what's going on. So more than likely, nobody heard anything. You took out the threat.

Speaker: They had tempers in their masses because you didn't feel the vibration of the impact. She didn't at least roll over once, go, Bob, fucking quit moving around, you dick. It's not your birthday ball, just stop. How often do you wake up out of a dead sleep and you're instantly ready to go? You're usually a little bit groggy. No, 100%. A little bit, yeah. But the police determined that the, uh... All eight of them were in their beds.

Speaker: The police determined that the more parents have been murdered first and with obvious force, the acts had been used to kill them. It had been swung so high above the murders head that it actually gouged the ceiling above, above the bed. Joe alone had been hit with the acts at least 30 times. The faces of both parents as well as the children have been released and reduced to nothing but a bloody pulp.

Speaker: I mean, that's a little bit of overkill. I mean, the state of the bodies wasn't even the most concerning part. However, once the police had searched the home after murdering the Moors, the killer had apparently set up some kind of ritual. He had covered the more parents heads with sheets and the more children's faces with clothing, and then went through each room in the house, covering all the mirrors and windows with cloth and towels.

Speaker: At some point he took a two pound piece of uncooked bacon from the fridge and placed it in the living room along with a key chain. A bowl of water was found in the homes, spirals of blood swirling through it. Police believe the murderer had washed his hands before leaving.

Speaker: By the time the police, the coroner, and minister, several doctors had thoroughly gone through the crime scene. Word of the vicious crime had spread, and the crowd outside the home had grown. Officials cautioned the townspeople against going inside. But as soon as the premises was cleared, at least 100 townspeople gave in to their gross fascinations and just

Speaker: traipsed through what's bad at home. And then they don't have any evidence. Well, I'm sure the body's ready at that point. Well, I'm sure the body's ready because it was after the investigation. They had fingerprints back then. No, but I don't think so. Because Modern Forensics, you said this was over 110 years ago. This was in 1912. Yeah, Modern Forensics J. Edgar Hoover started it. Fingerprints was J. Edgar Hoover.

Speaker: But yeah one of the townspeople Even took a fragment from Joe the father's skull to keep as a keepsake to have as a souvenir Yeah, thanks town folks. No wonder why we couldn't catch this killer as as for the perpetrator of the axe murders the police had shockingly few leads and

Speaker: A few half -hearted efforts to search the town and surrounding countryside were made, though most officials believe that with the roughly five -hour head start that the killer had, he would have been long gone.

Speaker: Right. More than likely, he probably was. Bloodhouser brought in, but with no success. It could have been Jeffrey Dahmer's grandfather here. Good job. But also, like I said, modern forensics was not a thing. So the guy could have been the next door neighbor who was like, you guys are too fucking loud. Yeah. So he just took care of it. And then he set up a whole bunch of it and then he could throw everybody off the scent.

Speaker: Mm hmm. But yeah, bloodhounds were brought in, but with no success as the crime scene had been fully demolished by the townspeople. A few suspects were named over time, though none of them panned out. The first was Frank Jones, a local businessman who had been in competition with Joe Moore.

Speaker: Moore had worked for Jones for about seven years in the farm equipment sales business before leaving and starting his own rival business. There was also a rumor that Joe was having an affair with Jones' daughter -in -law. Nice.

Speaker: Uh, though the reports were unfounded, the townspeople insist, however, that the Moores and the Joneses harbored a deep hatred for each other, though no one admits it was bad enough to spark murder. The second suspect seemed far more likely, and he even confessed to the murders, even though he later recanted claiming police brutality. So basically the cops were just trying to pin it on somebody and he was like, Oh yeah, I did it. Right.

Speaker: Lynn George Jacqueline Kelly was an English immigrant who had an history of sexual devency and mental problems. He even admitted to being in the town the night of the murders and admitted that he left early in the morning. Though his small stature and meek personality led some to doubt that he was actually involved, there were certain factors police believe made him the perfect candidate. Kelly was left handed, which police determined by the blood splatters.

Speaker: and whatnot that the killer was left -handed. He also had a history with the Moore family, as many had seen him watching them while at church and out and about in town, a dry cleaner in a nearby town had received bloody clothing from Kelly a few days after the murder. He reportedly also asked the police for access to the home after the crime while posing as a Scotland Yard officer.

Speaker: At one point after a long interrogation, why Scotland Yard would be in Melieska, Iowa, nobody knows, but... I'm pretty sure you're not from there, sir. At one point after many hours of interrogation and whatnot, he did eventually sign a confession detailing the crime. However, he almost immediately recanted and a jury refused to indict him.

Speaker: For years, you know, obviously the police looked into every possible scenario that could have. That could have caused the murders or who could have done it or whatever. Was it a single attack or part of a larger string of murders.

Speaker: Was it likely to be a local perpetrator or a traveling killer simply passing through the town and taking an opportunity? Soon reports of a similar enough crime happened throughout the country and began to pop up. And I'm assuming the similar. Well, the crime that they're speaking of was the Lizzie Borden expert. Right.

Speaker: The use of an axe as a murder weapon and the presence of an oil lab set to burn extremely low at the scene. Despite that commonalities, however, no actual connections could be made. The case eventually ran cold and the house was boarded up. No sale was ever attempted and no charges were ever made to the original or changes. Sorry.

Speaker: to the original layout. Now the house has become a tourist attraction, and since at the end of the quiet street, as it always has, while life goes on around it, undeterred by the horrors that was once committed inside the home. And now here, a little history and all that jazz behind it, is where the haunted and the ghosts and stuff like that come into play.

Speaker: because people who have visited the house or have been in the house or anything like that say that they have obviously seen, ghost, heard voices, felt the presence, heard things, heard noises, have heard children running around, this, that, and the other thing. But they also say that the house itself, when you go inside of the house, you feel

Speaker: Right, Mark? You feel an evil presence, something more demonic. And that goes back to the ritual or what they believe was a ritual of covering all the mirrors and the windows and stuff like that to keep out the reflections and or keep in the demonic presence that was at that house, which is another theory behind the killings is that

Speaker: The family or a family member was possessed so forth, et cetera, et cetera. Well, it could be, you know, you know, it was rumored that Bob or whatever his name was, was, was cheating on his wife. Could have been the pastor trying to, you know, trying to fix the sin, but I don't understand why they would want to kill them.

Speaker: the kids too. I have my own theories on it and outside of the hauntings and whatnot. Obviously they say that. What's your theory on it? They say when a haunting takes place in a house, it's usually due to a tragedy and unexpected loss of life. And the spirits are trapped there because

Speaker: You know, it happened so fast. So definitely think the house is haunted, obviously. Look at its past, look at its history. But as far as who did it, I have no doubt in my mind. And this is one of those things that I've read up a lot on and looked into. I think it was somebody in the town. I think it was somebody that knew the family.

Speaker: Knew the family well. And for whatever reason. Has been in the house before because. Yeah. So it could have been like the preacher or, or, or the sheriff or something like that. And we showed that we showed the house on, on last, what Wednesday, Wednesday's episode or Saturday's episode. It was a two story home.

Speaker: That means they had to not only know where the stairs were, but where the creeks in the stairs were. He or she was carrying an oil lamp. Yeah, but they said it was barely. But I mean, if you hold it down low enough. But you also have to remember, even in today's regular society, most houses have

Speaker: your normal creaks and groans and noises and stuff like that. And let alone 110 years ago. And I mean, the houses were, and it was a frame house. So it wasn't like one of these big monster houses that you see that's all block and this and the other thing. It was just a frame house. So I'm sure if the wind blew, it was creaking and whatnot and making noises. So, you know, they made it sound like the actual murders themselves happened pretty quick.

Speaker: It was all the stuff afterwards, you know, that, that he spent some time. I mean, it may have been that he actually, the answer possibility that me and Jeff had, it may have been that he went off and one hit stroked all of them. That would, at the very least, at the very least you're in a coma or, or you're blacked out. And then he went back to work. And then he just went back to work.

Speaker: Because he said that the strokes were so high that it gout in the ceiling. Holds to the ceiling. That's the issue I have. As I stated earlier, you're telling me you don't hear something hitting the ceiling and you don't fucking wake up? You know who I think it does. I get that. That's what I just think. I know who did it.

Speaker: It was, oh, I wonder how much I know who did it. It's Chris's great, great, great, great, great grandfather, guaranteed. That's how Chris knows so much about the story. He's just, he's heard the story, he's heard the story every year. Grandpa sit around like, I remember my great grandfather and his great -grandfather told the story, so for 100 years back. Yeah, it was. But also in the same sense,

Speaker: If it wasn't, and I, and I, and I still feel like it was somebody in the town and the fact that, you know, unfortunately nothing against the police department or anything like that. It was just the times. Unfortunately, the fact that they allowed the townspeople into the home while the monies were still there. When you read it, when you read it, it got too much for them and they just broke in.

Speaker: Right. Is that what you said? Yeah, I don't think, I don't think that's what happened. I think, I think they quote unquote cleared their investigation, but you also, again, 110 years ago, the investigation is not the same type of investigation. They're going to do an emergency nowadays. They're going to get in there. They're dead. Yep. They were bulging to death. Well, the other thing is, the other thing is, is if it was done from a guy in the town, then,

Speaker: wouldn't you think that he would be on the outside with the group of people going, Oh, I heard it was this. You've got to see it and just feel it. I mean, there was, you know, you said one guy took a piece of the dude's fucking skull out. Yeah. So, you know, they didn't have fingerprints back then. They didn't have fingerprints back there back then and stuff like that. So you go in there, there's blood all over the place. You get some blood on your clothes.

Speaker: Well, I was one of the townspeople that was in the house after you guys said it was okay. So that's why I got blood on my clothes. But also, if it wasn't a townsperson, they had a five -hour head start. Yeah. And depending upon when they brought the bloodhounds in, did they bring the bloodhounds in before or after all the townspeople went through the house? That's what I was saying. Why wouldn't you bring the bloodhounds in right away?

Speaker: So all those different scents and all those different smells and that's why I don't know I've always believed with reading on it and doing research and watching Documentaries and stuff on it. I've always believed that it was somebody in the town and it was probably somebody that You will never would have thought in a million years of the town population of the town 200 people

Speaker: Well, that's a case. Well, here's another scenario. That's because it's a small town. I don't know. I lived in a small town. I had to deal with local small town cops, police department. They all, they're all bunch of Barney fights. Let me tell you, um, you know, ability that that town, even if it's quiet, I say this because I live in Iowa. So I, you know, I got a good understanding.

Speaker: It's a possibility that the police don't even live in that town, that they actually had to wait for a cop from another, a bigger town to even come over there. Well, I mean, it's not even that so much. I mean, the fact that it happened at midnight.

Speaker: How early do you get up on a weekend? Even in those times, the neighbors didn't realize it until, you know, you don't know, we'll say seven, six, seven in the morning. And they realized, holy shit, the kids aren't out here running around. Well, let's go get his brother. How far away does his brother live?

Speaker: His brother's got to come there and then he finds him and then they got to go get the police and then the police take however long. So had the killer not been from there, he had he had more than enough time ample time to get away, jump on a train and trains back then you hop on a train and you're you're long gone before anybody knows any. Yeah, you're halfway to Pittsburgh, you know. Yeah, but at the same time, like I said, I still believe that it was it was.

Speaker: somebody that lived in the town and they got away with it because it did take so long. Unfortunately, the police back then, in all honesty, they were a little bit inept. They half asked the investigation, to be perfectly honest with you, they absolutely half asked the investigation. And then the crime scene was completely ruined.

Speaker: So how long, again, like I said, how long did it take before you brought the bloodhounds in to try to track the scent? Was it? Like what we can do now with forensics is like, you know, that they can trace the blood spatter and actually dictate how tall the murderer is just by the blood splatter. They didn't have that. Well, I mean, there was a, there was a murderer that got caught because his, because his like third cousin did a 23 and me.

Speaker: or some goofy shit like that. Just, that just happened just a few years back. This guy was an unsolved cold. That was like 30 years old. And like his cousin or niece or something did a 23 and me and the, you know, those DNA tests do go through the database and it popped up as a match.

Speaker: or a potential match or a close enough match. And then they narrowed it down to that guy and they arrested him. And he committed the murder. So yeah, I mean, uh, our, our, our technology and stuff we have now is, is, is, you know, light years ahead of what they had back then. There's just so many, just so many variables. And for those, and for those that don't, because Iowa, Iowa's a different, if you're not,

Speaker: If you're not from the Midwest, I know that, uh, Glick and Jeff know what I'm about to say, but if you're not from the Midwest, the culture and the way everything is set up is completely different than what it is on the East coast or on the West coast or, or even across the sea, because you know, Mark you're, you're in England. Um,

Speaker: But the way that they go, the way it is in the Midwest is we have these little towns. And for some of them are so small, the only thing that's there is a church and one stop sign. And that's it. And then everything around them, you might have a post office if you're lucky or a gas station. And this is even now, not even 100 years ago, but the rest of it is farmland.

Speaker: as far as the eye can see. Well, and that's Iowa. That's Wisconsin. That's a lot of that's Indiana. That's there. There's a lot of states that are nothing but that. So well, and you also you also have to factor in that more than likely at the end of the day. They were also trying to get a quick. You know, solve the case quick just to put the community at ease, right? Because you know that we're clearly on the ground.

Speaker: Yeah. I mean, a town, a town 200 or, or even, or even, you know, any, you know, any town under 500, you pretty much know everybody. I mean, I live in a town that's like 1500 people. And I know at least 500 of them, or at least more by face, you know, imagine a smaller town like that.

Speaker: I mean, yeah, a lot of people are scared. The biggest factor you have to put in that you can't compare to today's societies or communities is over a hundred years ago. So this was a very small community. So, you know, and they probably did, you know, they probably, it was, it was, and I've never been to Villescaz, but I'm sure back then, you know, they, 10 houses, 15 houses, 20 houses, whatever.

Speaker: You got your general store and your post office and church and, you know, this and the other thing. So it was probably a pretty tight knit community where everybody knew everybody. The neighbor next door literally, uh, the neighbor next door literally got, got, they were like, wow, they're awful quiet this morning. Yeah. They were a little bit concerned and a little bit worried because they knew the family that well that, Oh, the kids should be up and running around.

Speaker: was it eight people in a house you said right so well yeah it was well yeah they had they had four kids of their own and then they the other two girls that died or that were killed they were just there for a sleepover picked the wrong one for a fucking sleeper

Speaker: This is the worst sleepover I've ever been to. When your kids go to a sleeper and they call you at 1 o 'clock in the morning and they say they're scared and they want to come home, go get them or they could get axed to death. Just saying. Just to put things in perspective, the town of Veliska as of the 2020 census is 1132 people.

Speaker: Yeah, so I mean you might have had a hundred years, maybe 200 people at most. And back then, see our technology actually separates us. Back then with no technology, everybody knew everybody. Well, I mean, everybody knew everybody. Slows were barely a thing back then.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Well, they were using oil lamps, especially in the Midwest. They probably had one phone per every five farmers. What year was it? What year was it, Chris? 1912. 1912. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Well, the phone was like, uh, I don't know if you guys remember, but back in like 99, 98, if you had the internet in your house, you were a Billy Badass. So it's the same kind of,

Speaker: thing you know it's it's like now everybody's got all the new shit right away but back in the day you know when TVs came out you know one of the famous lines from the movie JFK is that there's a TV at the at the bar let's go the bar and so

Speaker: They didn't have quick access to shit. It's not like they sent the text. They probably had to send somebody to the sheriff and be like, hey, I think something's wrong over here. Send a picture. And here, I'm going to turn down the image. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Turn down your screen brightness. Yeah, let's see. This is the house. Let me see if I can get it right. Still too bright. Much better.

Speaker: What else all that house is? Yeah, it's not a very big house. Jesus. Yeah. And it's creepy looking. It's creepy looking. Yeah, but back in the day, that's what all the houses look like. So back in the day, it wasn't creepy houses. What up, motherfucker? And it's one of those things.

Speaker: As Chris was saying, the fact that everybody slept through all the creeks and everything, or the killer knew the creeks, I mean, there might have been five people staying over that night. Here's a newspaper article about it. That's what they put on the newspaper. Yeah, that's the clipping from the newspaper. Laugh victims of mad murder of West.

Speaker: It wasn't even Midwest. Yeah, that was the west, yeah. But yeah, I mean, like I said, something like that is going to absolutely

Speaker: just, oh, shake up, shake up an entire community. I mean, just imagine. I would say the town population was like 120 maybe. Well, here's the thing, put it in today's standards, so to say. Jeffrey, you live in a community. How many people are in your community? There's 65 houses.

Speaker: Okay. So we'll say four people per house, give or take. Yeah. Let's say about 300, 400 people. Right. So say, you know, we'll say 500. We'll say 500. You know, I know how, I know, I know, I know how, I know how you're kind of, you can do that math. I know how you're kind of, I know how I did the math actually. I did it in my head, actually.

Speaker: You have four people per house. You're looking at it. I have the perfect perspective for it. One of the houses in our gated community got broke into the other day. Well, no, I was going to say it. I was going to say it. My wife was like, go downstairs, lock the fucking door. I was like, what the fuck's the word? I wish a motherfucker would.

Speaker: Yeah. I was going to say, no, like in your community, we'll say 500 is a max and that's, and that's, that's an overkill. That's really reaching. Yeah. But say a break -in's a break -in. It is what it is. I'm talking about somebody goes into somebody's house and kills eight people.

Speaker: Nobody knows anything. Nobody hears anything. Nobody sees anything and dips in, does what they do, have their little ritual and then dips out in the dark of night without anybody seeing or hearing or knowing anything until six hours later, seven hours later when one of the neighbors are like, you know, just kids are usually actually, you know, just kids are usually out here running around acting like a bunch of fucking wild animals because he's in the bathroom working.

Speaker: And then they, you know, and, you know, and then they like, well, we should call somebody and they know, uh, Hey, Tim, what's going on, brother? I didn't see you sneaking. Uh, you know, they, they, they call one of your wife's friends that they may or may not, that they, that they know. And she comes over and she opens the door and there's you and your wife and your kids and your brother and sister -in -law, you're all just fucking chopped into pieces. You know?

Speaker: Imagine what that would do to just your little gated community, your community, the fear and the terror that something like that happened without anybody knowing anything.

Speaker: They're instantly, they're going to be fearing. They're going to be checking their windows. They're going to be checking their locks. You know, the dads are probably not going to be sleeping because they're going to be so scared to sleep. They're going to be setting up for the guns. Yeah. They're going to be setting up protecting their family at night. So this is how probably happened now.

Speaker: if this happened now, it would shake up a community. But unfortunately, stuff like this happens all the time. That's why I wanted to try to I wanted to try to narrow down to a tight knit group. You know, unfortunately, and sadly, this does happen on a more regular basis. You got you have the you have the the family killers or

Speaker: or a mom loses her mind and kills her kids and kills her husband and then kills herself and so on. This happens on a more regular basis now. I mean, even to go back to something as simple as the 70s and 80s, when serial killers were running rampant in the United States of America, Ed Gein, Jeffrey Dahmer, PGK, the Zodiac Killer,

Speaker: Oh, that was, well, they were, they were having cities when they were having whole whole chicks that because BTK went after blondes. So all these chicks were dying their hair.

Speaker: Yeah, as I was trying to narrow down this, this action, we had one break in and the, the, the manager of the, the, he takes care of all the maintenance and all it'd be like the grass and pool and all that shit. He hires the people, whatever, went out and bought cameras. So now you can't get in anywhere without being on camera in my area.

Speaker: And that was just from one breaking. So imagine what it was like back then when cameras obviously weren't a thing. So you got everybody standing up. Just nobody wants to go to sleep. It would be terrible. And this is another thing that leads me to be more leaning towards the fact that it was somebody in the community. When the FBI created the... Shit, I can't think of what it's called.

Speaker: Was a profile or. Yeah. The profilers, uh, when they created that, that, that, that, that department, uh, one of the, one of the big things that's always been a factor with serial killers is they like to return to the crime of the scene. Yeah. They, they like to be there like during the investigation that, you know, when the, when the bodies are discovered and the crowds gather, they want to, they want to see, they want to see the reaction. They want to see if it was that one guy.

Speaker: I don't want a guy that confessed and then recanted. I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't. What's up? What's up? What are you? You have leftism? Are you anti -lefty? I'm left. I'm left -handed. Do you have a problem with my people? I'm fucking left -handed, you dolt.

Speaker: Yeah, that's why his one arm is bigger than the other. You're like Dave Chappelle in the... No! No! No! What's bigger than the other is a right -handed syndrome because left -handers have to use both hands for everything. We can't even get our own damn refrigerator. One door opens to the right, one door opens to the right. All you have to do is just reverse the door. You can reverse the handle.

Speaker: I did it on mine. You can just reverse the door. I did it on my dryer, too. So ha, ha, ha. You're hoisted on your own. Oh, don't make left -handed. You tried buying a left -handed ball glove. See how long it takes you. Markup's not fun. It's not fun. And it's $50 more expensive than the right -handed glove. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. No, on that, I know. No, it is very hard to find the left -handed glove. You wouldn't think it would be, but it is.

Speaker: Very hard. I bought a Wilson glove for $123. That same glove right was $60. Don't talk to me about being oppressed. I know about it. I'm left -handed. Right -handed people are holding you hostage.

Speaker: We don't have a stranger. You live with that. The Left Aquarium, or whatever the name of the Flanders store was on Simpsons. Right. No left. You know what it's like being a lefty living in the right world? We're always wrong. Always.

Speaker: You know, tell me how I feel. I've never been so humiliated. I voted for Trump. Why am I being ostracized? Thank God for DeWalt and our left handed drills. Right? I bought a left handed hammer the other day and I was pissed.

Speaker: I was like, I want the right. See, that bullshit is discrimination. What are you talking about? Chris literally just said, I can't find a left -handed screwdriver. I mean, Jesus Christ. L -H -L -M. That's our word. That's our word. You're not allowed to say the left -handed word. That's our joke. That's our word. That's our joke. You can't say it. You go take your right -handedness and go - L -H -L -M.

Speaker: Yeah, I gotta go too. I'm a lefty.

Speaker: What were the nonsense of a nonsense where we can go from talking about an axe murder house to the struggles of being left handed and comparing it to being oppressed. We're always waiting for all the murders too. The guy, they said, oh, he's left handed because a right handed person wouldn't do this. Well, maybe that's something they should get into. Left handed people do better. You got damn right.

Speaker: left hands feel better. I agree. How you doing? Strong on the left side, girl. You didn't even see that **** coming. You know what I'm going to say? You know, you ever saw that movie South Pole? Rocky Balboa was a South Pole. Remember that? Yeah, Rocky Balboa was a South Pole. I'm a South Pole who fights right handed. Take that and enjoy it. My dad was a ball player and he said, you know,

Speaker: He would he would he would line up left and everybody is like, oh, he can do that. But he he hit like a right handed player. So he always put the ball somewhere. No one was expecting it because he was lefty. I could never bat right handed, so I just got hit a lot. I either got walking or he had to play guitar. Try to learn how to play guitar. Real story, that was.

Speaker: When I was in, I mean, this is, you know, we're talking about village idiots. This is, this is proof that I am a village idiot. I went to college for welding and it was like an eight week course or whatever. Right. And, um, I think we were in week four.

Speaker: And I couldn't weld worth of shit. And I would have to re, I would have to re weld, re weld, re weld, re weld. I was getting angry and I called the instructor and I'm like, dude, I can't do this. Why, why I should be able to weld by now. And he said, well, let me see you weld. And I'm on here with my right hand going and I can't even see. And he's like, dude, are you left handed? I was like, yeah. It was like.

Speaker: Why don't you put the gun? Why don't you put the gun in your left hand? I know what Mike's talking about because in the words of Tom Tenney, when we did our welding little project, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Speaker: Uh, a lot of things to me, uh, but I don't know what you're referring to. Is this your first fucking day? Yeah, because, because as a lefty, when you, when you weld with your left hand, you, much like when you, like when I write, not only because I like to use gel pens, not only do I have to, uh, write and lift my hand. I don't look my pinky, but I lift my hand because it drags. And so the gel pens smear.

Speaker: But also a lot of letters and stuff I write, I write backwards. So like, like my little E, I started the, instead of like starting in the top and looping around, I started the bottom. Yeah. So I was welding quote unquote backwards with my left hand. And he asked me what the fuck is wrong with you? And then he stopped and he's like, you're left handed, aren't you? I'm like, yeah.

Speaker: He's like, oh, okay, let me help you. And then he repositioned, like he repositioned my body and it made welding so much easier. Right. And then, and like the other thing is, is that, that people that are right -hand have no idea. Okay. So what we do is when we're being trained to do something, we see how the trainer is doing it. He's using his right hand. Well.

Speaker: We're always being taught how to do things right handed, so we try to do things the right handed way until we learn how to do it. And then we might switch or then sometimes.

Speaker: Sometimes we just, we just do it when it looks awkward. It looks awkward as fuck, but that's what we did because you guys didn't right -hated. I know when you're right, you have to go right to left. I get that. Or left, right, sorry. Yeah. But when welding, wouldn't you just start with the right and work your way left? It's about body position. So when you're being, like Mike just said, when you're being, when you're being taught by a righty, and you know, the righty, he's standing in front of something and he's welding and he goes like this,

Speaker: You're looking at the body position, but it puts you in a weird, so you got to learn to, again, yeah, you are, instead of starting on the left side and going across, if you're welding a line, you start from the left and go across, but it's all about body position. The problem is if you're going to be successful welding, you have to watch your puddle.

Speaker: And if you're a lefty trying to weld it to your head, you can't see your puddle. So, you know, that's why I was so dismissed because I was literally welding blind and by feeling and by hearing and some of my welds were okay, but I had undercut, I had overbite, you know, they did it well.

Speaker: you know, I wasn't penetrating good on some welds and it's because I couldn't see my puddle. So you kind of really had to like be careful on how you did it. And as soon as, and then as soon as I got a lot of short comers in my life, I made sure I penetrate very well. I guarantee it. Any, any well, there's not a lot there, but you're going to feel it. God damn it. Whoever invented the terminology for welding was more perverted than Jeff.

Speaker: because the terminology that we use in that field, yeah, you're like, yeah, that guy.

Speaker: I don't know we I mean we'll tell you some of our welds there's something called a butt a butt joint

Speaker: I can't wait to see. I mean, I can well. Yeah, I'm over here going. Yeah, I like butt joint welds. Uh huh. No, he does. Trust me. But uh but no, yeah, as soon as as soon as I change, as soon as I learn how to weld left -handed, I pass. But but yeah, I mean, being first four weeks, you're going, god damn it. Oh, I want to quit. I want to quit. Oh, no, I get it. I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker: A lot of people that are right -handed really have no idea how frustrating it can be for certain things. It would never have dawned on me that it would be more difficult. I would automatically assume that you would, I mean it sounds dumb, it sounds naive of me to say it, but I would automatically assume that you would go the opposite direction that I was.

Speaker: Well, like I said, it's how you're being taught. So when you're being taught and you're watching somebody, so you want to try to, you want to try to, you would try to emulate because you think you want to start on the right side. Right. And again, you know, you're, you're, you're, you're kind of at a weird position. So you're going to kind of like this and I'm just going off of a straight line. Well, you know what I mean? Right.

Speaker: So you're, you're kind of like this, trying to start from the right and then you get so far. And much like when you, when you're writing your, as a left hand, as a lefty, your hand gets in the way. So again, I'm part of the part in the part of the, and it.

Speaker: Because I love gel pens. I like the way they write. I like the way they look. So if I drag my hand, you know, I always had ink on my pen. Yeah, you always have ink. Always. Always. Always. So your hand is always covering your words and stuff. So you had to learn to reposition yourself and go from left to right or from right to left when you were welding. Lefties really hate. Lefties really hate wire.

Speaker: wire binded notebooks because your hand is always on that wire. I see. And I hate scissors. I hate scissors, but you know, another thing that's inconvenient being a left -handed person, one out to dinner because you always have to make sure you're on the outside. If you're sitting at a booth and if you're at a table and if you're at a table, you're fucked. If you're like, if you go to dinner with four people and hey, Kevin, you know, you go to dinner,

Speaker: and you're at a four person table or whatever, you're constantly like all over your plate. Don't knock them out. There is a benefit to that. There is a benefit to that. There is a benefit because if you're left handed and your person that you're on a date with, it only works for that. If you're left handed and your date is right handed, both of you guys could literally hold hands while you're eating.

Speaker: and never because she would be able to perfect holding a fork and a knife in the same hand and doing this to cut my steak. So yeah, I was going to say, I don't go to McDonald's on my date. I'm going to treat you like her. I'm going to leave that alone. And guess what? I'm going to leave that alone.

Speaker: I was talking about Olive Garden. It's noodles and shit. You don't even have steak at all. Sorry, if I'm going on a date, I mean steak. I mean steak. Yeah, that's what she thought. No, that's not what she thought because I gave her fair warning beforehand. Yes, she thought she was getting steak too.

Speaker: Oh, no. You know, you thought she would say that, you know, a good New York strip or something like that. He met with a flank steak. You say you say that like that, but you say I'm the perverted one. I wasn't even talking sexual. I've been around you too much. Yeah, you and Mark. And Mark. Anyways, we're going to take a real quick break where we're just running all over tonight. It is what it is. We got enough three hour shows in the

Speaker: in the chamber. If we go a little bit over, we'll go a little bit over. God, bless it. I don't believe you, Mark. After you're talking about your booty hole like you have been, I don't believe you. Is there such thing as a left -handed mouse? My mouse is in the middle of my board, but yes. No, it's the same mouse. You just switch it. It's on the court. I bought it. I bought it. Well, you know what? Yeah, no, because you're clicking. Yeah, because of the clicks. That's what I meant. I'm sure there is a left -handed mouse.

Speaker: I bought, I bought like this $25 like salon professional scissors, but it's actually a right handed scissors. So I couldn't, I couldn't cut, I'm over here going click, click, click, click, click. And the hair is just folding over and I'm going son of a bitch. I'm over there. I almost, I almost threw them away and I was like, wait a minute. I bet you these assholes made these right handed scissors. I flipped them over, cut to all like,

Speaker: I can't do nothing. And I also upside down because it's got that little thumb whoop in the way and you got one out of cut with the thumb whoop in the way. No, no, no. Michael, how many tools do you have, sir? You tell me you don't have a grinder. Grind that fucking loop off. And I know we're going to take a break.

Speaker: Go to break, Blake. Go to break. Yeah, now he's pissed. He didn't think of it. Go to break. Look at him. God damn it. You can't. No. Stop that and think of it. It's not that it doesn't work that way. Oh, really? Yeah, you can't just grind it off because the scissors are made to hold your fingers so you can cut and have the sides of them. Absolutely. So if you grind one side off, you literally have to hold it with your other hand so that you can cut.

Speaker: that's why that loop is there that's why they're that's why they're well they're close cut it off and weld it on the other side that's why they're that's why they're even the right metal and then it's also one of those things are you are i'm so i didn't know we had a woman guest on the show because a man goes damn this really fucking sucks

Speaker: I'm going to grind this off and then we don't give a shit until next time we do it. That's how men do it. We bitch about every time but we don't do anything. I don't bitch about nothing. I modify my tools to make it work. If they're not working. Go to break. I'm going to break. You guys are fucking idiots. I had two stories tonight, by the way. I did tell you I was. We gotta burn an ark. We were village idiots. Go on break and come back. We'll do the other stories.

Speaker: We're gonna, we're gonna take a real quick break. Got a little rum Springer for your ear holes. This is one of their originals called off my case. Go ahead and check out rum Springer on all them social medias and on YouTube and all that jazz at rum Springer underscore live. Go show the guys some love. I have got to remember to reach out to Matt so we can do some work together, but go check them out. Show them some love. Let them know we sent you.

Speaker: Mark said you can't grind all your issues away, all right? Yes, you can. You guys are gonna love Ned. I've known him my whole entire life. He's the man. He told me that he's got everything set up for this shoot. This place looks cool. So, Ed, you guys are here. Yeah, I got everything set up in here. I got, like, lights. I got amps.

Speaker: I got your drums. I got pyro. All you gotta do is go out there and perform. I'll make sure everything goes perfect. Okay. All right? Sick. What? What possibly go wrong? I told you Ned, it's a fucking Ned guy, bro. It's a fucking Ned guy.

Speaker: Whoa, girl, you're lookin' good, lookin' so fine You're not free, right, life's on my feet She's the rockin', she's the sharkin', she's the real shoe star But she's the problem swimmin' all over me, oh, yeah The battle swimmin' all over me Well, let's assume we get you so far in life And your personality is a chore Are you screaming in the corner?

Speaker: I just can't take some more Your looks tie me down on my knees But you're crazy, just ain't worth it to me It wipes my shit off on my face Oh yeah, the time has come to get you off my case

Speaker: It's all you're gonna need, workin' again, all alone It's all I would never need you, that I couldn't leave it, got you up until they put you open your mouth Until they put you up in your mouth

Speaker: I gotta do it, I gotta do Because I'm over you I just can't take anymore Kicking you right out my front door I'll put you straight back into your place Oh Kevin Thomas, come to get you off my case

Speaker: My knees are what you're crazy to say birthday to me He wiped his mouth straight off of my face Oh yeah, this time it's time to get ya off my case Off my case, off my case

Speaker: Your mom's music.

Speaker: I love those guys. I really do, man. They're fucking awesome. They're so fun to see live. They're super cool to hang out with. I was actually thinking about making a trip next, not this weekend, but next weekend. But I have the kids. They're playing down in Dayton. And I thought about making the trip down there. But I got the kids. But go ahead and check them out. That's Rum Springer.

Speaker: Friends of the show, good guys. I've spent some time with them. Gonna probably spend more time with them. And I definitely do gotta get them lined up to come on the show here soon. We, however, are nonsense. Well, nonsense. Welcome back to the show. Hopefully you're enjoying the show so far. I'm Glick. You know that. I'm the man. I'm the greatest of all time. I'm your champ, baby. I'm your champ.

Speaker: I'm the People's Champion. And then Jeff and Mike are here too, I guess. My name is Jeff. My name is Ev.

Speaker: had to be done. I need to do it more often. Great. You're welcome. I need to make that my ring to go to my phone. Uh no, anyways, hopefully you guys have been enjoying the show. Go check us out on them social medias, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter,

Speaker: Don't forget you can join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday on YouTube and Twitch at 6 PM. You can hang out in the chatters box. Shoot your shit with those. Add your two cents. You are the peanut gallery and we welcome the peanut gallery.

Speaker: Just saying. We put up with Mark every episode. So yes, absolutely. Shut your whore mouth. Even though he hates me and he abandoned me like all my other relationships.

Speaker: I have a question. Also, shut up before you ask your question. But also listen to us on all platforms, podcast wise, Spotify, all that jazz, all that nonsensical nonsense. Go give us a follow. Go give us a like. Give us a listen. And if you like what you hear, please give us a share. Let other people know about it. Help us grow. Jeffrey, what is your fucking question? So we all heard the song, Monster Mash. No.

Speaker: Oh, no. Damn it, Mark. Did you know the last time he's going to leave his back door open for me? Fuck. I'm so broken. Monster Mash never refers that they were actually dancing. What the fuck is a mash, Jeff? You know what you should have done. It could have been an orgy.

Speaker: You know what you should have done knowing you were going to ask that question when we were on break. You should have found the song, downloaded it, uploaded it, and then we could have played it. Well, and then we could have had a proper conversation, but now we're all just left to speculate. Much like you about your children. Oh, that's that. Oh,

Speaker: Oh my god. Where's the assholes video now? Where's that video? First and foremost, Jeff knows I'm only playing with it because I have told him. His kids more look like his wife, fortunately, but they do have a nice small mixture of Jeff. There's no denying who those kids belong to.

Speaker: Yeah, when you see the four of them together, there is absolutely no denying that Jeff and his wife are the parents of those kids. Fortunately, they look more like their mom. I think that's more of a lucky thing, yes. As I said, fortunately, they look more... Go ahead and look up the lyrics and sing it. I have them right here. I'm not going to sing them, but I will. Sing it. I will spoken word them. Sing it. I'm not going to sing it. How much you spoken, sing it, you bitch.

Speaker: So I was working in my lab late one night when my eyes beheld at Gary's sight. For my monster from his lap began to rise and suddenly, for my surprise, he did the mask. Sounds like he's jerking off. It was a graveyard smash.

Speaker: smash we relate to fork it so it caught on in a flash in the graveyard i'm in that's what i said it could have been an orgy yes mike i'm joking off trust me what because you read the front row is going to be jerking no but like drac's voice rings out uh in one one uh paragraph of the lyrics uh i mean

Speaker: I'm literally reading the lyrics and I'm not seeing anything since they were dancing. From his coffin, Drax's voice didn't ring. Seems he was troubled by just one thing. He opened the lid and shook his fist and said, whatever happened to the Transylvania Twist, which could have been, you know, a little 69 actually. The Transylvania Twist is the only thing referred in the song that would be a dance.

Speaker: Smash could be referring to a song because in the 70s, a hit was also called a smash. What do we call sex sometimes? A smash was also from the 70s called a dance. So you're both right and wrong, Jeff, because in today's eyes, we don't use that terminology.

Speaker: So yeah, you could look at any way, but when you look in the lens of the time period, smash, smash and all that stuff, that's all consistent with the dance. I understand. I know. I'm not saying you're wrong. And you're right. If you look at the parlance of the times, yes. However, it never says they were dancing.

Speaker: So it could have been just a straight up orky in the graveyard. And Chris, I agree. Sex in the graveyard would be kind of cool. I mean, I'd be fucking freaked out all the time because God knows what could happen. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, she might actually come. That would be scary for you. It's never happened before. I get it. Trust me.

Speaker: See what I did there? See what I did there? Mark, did you like that? Showed your pervertedness? Showed your pervertedness? I'm just saying. I literally just found that. I just read that the other day. And I was like, that's interesting. I am looking at the lyrics. Yeah.

Speaker: So everything I'm finding Is Both of you are idiots first and foremost Well, we've established that earlier on yes, well you get the beginning like everything as as as the meaning of

Speaker: of Monster Mash is the great debate. Is it a song or a dance? And a lot of people are leaning towards the sign of that it is a song and not a dance. Like a Monster Mashup. Okay. Yeah, I see what you're saying. And once again, proves my point back in the seventies.

Speaker: A song was considered a smash. That was a hit. What was your point? Your point was about having sex. That was Jeff's point. That was Jeff's point, not my point. You're guilty by association. I know. You were both having a goddamn discussion and agreeing on it. I didn't agree to shit.

Speaker: You did. I said I said it could have I said it. He said I was wrong, but also right. It could be either way. I'm just saying that's the great mastermind and the debatable of this podcast. You're like Jack Sparrow. You do shit and hope that works out. And then it does. And you're like, aha, I'm great. But are you really? Or are you just mastermind behind this show?

Speaker: i have a way with editing and i have editing tools as i've said yeah plenty of times more time on your hands than you know i don't have i don't have a lot of free time on my hands that's the crazy thing i really don't because i i have found myself in the last couple months um

Speaker: Mark, don't encourage him. Look, he doesn't need it. The Holy Lord Glick has spoken. Silence you peasants. Bow down to my greatness. Bow down and acknowledge how rich I am. The Lord and Father Glick has spoken.

Speaker: That also reminds me, I was able to ask Tony this question. Is it good for you? Are you going to let him finish? I was able to ask Tony this question, but I did not get the chance. I did not get the answer. Who's your daddy, Mark? I was able to ask Tony, speaking of sex, but I was able to ask Tony this question, and Mike was not here, and Chris knows what's coming. Mike, did you know that 80 % of people masturbate in the shower?

Speaker: Yes, I know I'm not but I don't want to talk about it Mark stop

Speaker: He called you Daddy Glick. He loves that, by the way. He loves that, by the way. Do me a favor, Mark. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, no, hold on. Mike, trust me. I have the ultimate, ultimate revenge. Everybody in the chattered box. Send Chris a Snapchat with just your voice going, hi, Daddy. He loves it. Good thing I don't know what my Snapchat is. And on top of it, that only works with me. I'll hand it out.

Speaker: I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it.

Speaker: I don't know, he doesn't like it. Why do you think his wife, Kristy, you have six months at a time? This is the guy who accidentally spent four hours watching these training points.

Speaker: because you're talking to me. I love how four minutes becomes four hours. You have your version, I have my version. The place is dressed, and you can't tell. And then all of a sudden I was like, this is not the video I meant to watch. You have your version, I have my version, which is the truth. At all. Why it even went four minutes. And why are you watching porn where they have clothes on?

Speaker: It's, it's a story. It's not, it's not unlike you gentlemen. I like a story. Was it, was it titled? Wait, you don't need to get that story. Was it the title step that he stuck in the, in the watching machine? No, I don't read the titles. I go, I'm like, oh, it's all right. Clearly. I mean, I'm like, I'm, I, I want to start. I got it. Jeff, I have a serious question for you. A dead serious question. Go ahead. How much?

Speaker: accidental tranny porn that you watch in a single day. I don't know if today's not over. Because you don't read. You don't read. You don't read. Believe it or not. You look at the picture. No, no. That is not true. You're going, ooh, let's be in porn. No. I actually told you about a website that I actually find very interesting, where it's literally all reading. Donkeylovers .com? Right.

Speaker: I don't remember you telling me about this website because first and foremost, I know you literally answered with, why do I have to read it? Okay. Okay. That's a valid point. You might've told me about it because I checked the Snapchat. I'll send you the website. I don't know. So Jeff accidentally watches four hours of gay training for

Speaker: every day and he accidentally reads six to seven hours of it every day.

Speaker: This is a fantastic story. I keep waiting for the chick to come in. I keep waiting for the chick. I read 45 chapters and I just realized this chick has a dick. So you've never watched, let's say, the most famous movie ever, Debbie Does Dallas. I used it for life. I used it for life. I lost something else. Yeah, I've watched Debbie Does Dallas. Okay. The first bit of the movie, everybody's stressed. Well, except for the shower scene, but that doesn't count.

Speaker: That's my point is you can literally put your finger on the screen on your phone and who uses their phone? I have a computer and a big 32 inch TV. I'm not trying to get a virus on my, my phone is better protected than my laptop.

Speaker: My laptop's pretty protected. Because I have to. Because I get proprietary information constantly. I hate you so much, Jeff. I do! Fuck my job. This is why they got it divorced, ladies and gentlemen. That's the story! That's the website! I said it in the mic!

Speaker: You know who reads, you know who reads those, you know who reads stories? And this is not women. No, go ahead, go ahead. Yeah, this is not in this or anything like that. It's 100 % women. Women like the stories. Men are visual creatures. No, I get that, I get that. But when you get to a point, and much like we all have, we all have different tastes. I need it for dinner. Oh my God, hold on one second.

Speaker: Talk about yourself. I'll be right back. I've never in my life got to the point where I wanted to read. I mean, that was how many years has how many how many years has Jeff been married 20?

Speaker: It doesn't matter. I mean, I made it. I still wasn't ready to read for it. Jeff can't even read though. That's the thing. Yeah. I don't understand it. Where are you going? I asked his wife what the words are. What is his word?

Speaker: Let me ask you a question. Who's getting their undergraduate in business?

Speaker: Oh, that's me. That's because they got that. Well, first of all, we do realize they'll give college degrees for undergraduate degree, especially online. You just signed up radio. You're not halfway online. You're not golf. I didn't say halfway through. You're not halfway through. Have you even started? The only thing you've done is sign the papers. Wait, wait.

Speaker: Hey boys, look what I got here. Hey, where are the white women at? Back to my point. Second of all, I went to college too and I know

Speaker: So you can do the audio where it reads to you all all of your information. You don't have to read it. It'll tell you for the disabled, which is you. Really? Yeah, I said it. I do need a Snickers today, though.

Speaker: The last thing your fat ass needs is the stickers. I deserve that one. I definitely deserve that one today. I really need a fucking granola bar. You need a fucking granola bar, some yogurt, something like that. I need to fast. I need a diet. What are you talking about? Diet ain't enough. I need to fast. No food for you.

Speaker: Not for you, Fatty. I have, uh, as requested.

Speaker: You can eat next week. Don't beat yourself up over past mistakes. You are going to fuck up again in the future. Quite possibly in the most spectacular fashion. Why worry about yesterday's fuck ups? When you have tomorrow's fuck ups to look forward to. You are a fuck up. And fucking up is part of your growth process. Embrace the process.

Speaker: What was that for? That's for you? You fucked up. You fucked up. How did I fuck up? Jeff fucked up for reading the porn. You fucked up. You read porn. Read a couple of those stories. Read a couple of those.

Speaker: Why? I could just watch them. So not only. They're so much better. Not only. Not only have you read one instance. I exercise every part of my body when I masturbate a parent. Jeffrey, first and foremost, first and foremost, this is the one and only instance ever in life where the video or movie is always going to be better than the book. Agreed.

Speaker: We growing bitches. Go fuck it. Shut up the call park for the you fucked up video. Last week, right after the show, he sent me that he was like, you guys. And I told him, I said, I've already downloaded it. And I did not expect it, but I did not expect it. But after I downloaded it in less than three minutes on the show, I was able to use it. And it was fantastic.

Speaker: And all of them were directed towards Jeff and Tony. I have yet it. I have yet for it to be directed towards me. Mike, say tuna sub backwards. You first. No, you go ahead. I asked you. Tuna sub backwards? Yeah, say tuna sub backwards.

Speaker: I just did it in my head and it doesn't make any sense. Write it down. A new bus? A new bus? Jesus Christ, I have two alerts. There you go. It spells out, bust a nut. All or your faith? No, it doesn't. I don't do it reading. Yes, it does. I don't do it fucking reading.

Speaker: You're welcome. Chris is doing the math in his head on that. He said they're going, it's done. I'm just, I'm just, you know what? Fox amongst yourself. I'm just kidding. We have totally lost the show. It's gone.

Speaker: I'm done. I'm done. Fuck this. You cannot read, Jeffrey. We already had this discussion. You do have a hard time reading. I didn't say I read well.

Speaker: I didn't say I read well. I actually had this discussion with my oldest one last night, who will not ask for help in any of her classes. And I told her, you can even ask your friends, because even when we were in high school, I helped Jeff read some stuff. And it was not a dis. It's not me making fun of you, or any way, shape, or photo. Sometimes you've got to lean on your friends.

Speaker: If you can't ask the teacher, or if you're uncomfortable asking the teacher, you ask your friends. And yes, I may or may not make fun of Jeff for it, but at the end of the day, when push comes to shove, absolutely, I'm going to have his back and I'm going to help him. Or Mike, Jeff can help you with your... You know what, you know what though? I'm proud of Jeff because he needs, he needs help reading and Sesame Street didn't do it for him.

Speaker: But Hollywood, all of our textbooks, the good friend that I am, all of our textbooks, I went out and I got them in pop -up version for Jeff when we were 18. Oh. They used to scare him. They used to scare him in the beginning. But we got past that. Man, I wonder if you can get like a pop -up porn version. Well, for sure. The vagina pops up in. Yeah, it's called actually having a wife.

Speaker: Is it weird that his only flex is, I have a wife, but yet he is reading porn and he tells us about all these porn sites to go, but his flex is, it's called having a wife. What?

Speaker: You know what the weirdest part of this whole equation is? Sure. It's the fact that I still continue to do this show with you fucking people. Why's it got to be you people? Why's it got to be you people? I haven't found new clothes.

Speaker: Left hand forever, OK? No. And fuck you, Jeff. You've been ostracized. You've been kicked out of the left -handed community. Lord Glick has spoken. See what you did, Mark? See, that's the bullshit you did. That's the great thing about having Mark in the chatters box. He's used to having a monarchy and a dictatorship. Hey, old teacher. How are you doing?

Speaker: Glick won't acknowledge you, but I will. Actually, I did already. I said hi, and I said hopefully I said her name right. Jackass. Alicia. Don't hurt yourself. Jeff? No, you. What would it be me? I've seen the hamster wheel turn, and you're like,

Speaker: I hurt myself all the time. I don't do a reading. You know what, Jeff? We've moved past the accidental four hours of your training gay porn. And now we're moving on to you reading. You reading. I can't.

Speaker: You read porn. No, I read a story. It just happens to be... Does your lady parts tingle when you read the story? I don't know, do you? I don't read. As I said, this is the one and only time. You're my lady. This is seriously... You're my lady. That was your biggest comeback?

Speaker: your biggest comeback with a bounce back? I don't know. You tell me. This is why I love you Mark. This is why I can't quit you Mark.

Speaker: Wow. You heard it here for first folks. For no veteran Braille.

Speaker: reading it in braille, reading it in braille would probably be so much easier than actually reading it, trying to do the other stuff that you need to do. At least I could have one hand. Then you'd be like, oh, the bumps are getting bigger. Oh, it's getting good. No, no. I don't take what she said as in like you're using actual braille as in you're actually feeling a warm up.

Speaker: because that would be either way, right? Either way, both are better. Wouldn't that, wouldn't that be braille feeling as opposed to I'll be blind Mark that we need to have.

Speaker: We need to have, because Jeff can't pull it off, do some audio books of these stories that Jeff has found. Oh my God. Send me a story. Send me a story. I'm going to start doing this. See? As she said, she agrees with what I said, what she meant by braille was actually feeling a real boo.

Speaker: Okay. Well, I was, okay. You literally went, you literally went, I'm going to go buy a braille brook and read braille. No. I'm going to go buy Playboy and braille. Okay. Hey, you know what? We're talking about you reading it braille. You know, it happens, but yes, I agree. Yes. Yeah. As soon as she said braille, I instantly knew what she meant because I was like, yeah, that's like feeling a real thing. The one guy that's in a relationship compared to the other two guys who are not in a relationship, but

Speaker: But the two guys that are not in the relationship are not She can think that is offered I have the option tonight your wife's not operating either. You just cop a few actions bang You're right. Oh, I have to beg I don't really think Jeff has to beg

Speaker: I'd never have to beg, trust me. I have to go, you know, I'm not a fucking light switch, calm down. Yeah, I don't think Jeff has to beg. What's not, you're saying you have a headache. No, it's literally like, it's been three times already. Do we really need to go again?

Speaker: It's three o 'clock in the month. I need to work in the month. It's been three times in the last two and a half minutes. Give me a minute. You're embarrassing yourself at this moment, Jeffrey. My recovery time is not that great anymore. There's nothing. I'm not a young man, let me tell you, boys. It takes two hours to recover. Yeah. Literally, you have not seen my wife.

Speaker: I don't know what. Mark's like, I'm just going to listen to my audio book. Well, we need to get lit to narrate it for you. So you can have the whole thing. No, because then you'll never get hard. No, no, no, no. That was my thing. Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey, send me one of your stories. Go on to the website. There's literally a house. Can we put it on the podcast? Let's see how quickly we get in trouble on TikTok, because I'm going to start a series where I narrate.

Speaker: I have all the good fucking ideas. She was on the board. It was a warm night in November. I had my windows open.

Speaker: I had just ordered pizza and settled in to watch some scary movies. Not even that far. You're way off from the story. The pizza man showed up and I had lost my wallet. I had no way to pay for it. The pizza man said, did you order the extra large extra meat

Speaker: And I whispered softly. I can tell you never did this either. But I don't know. Why would I do this before, Michael? Because you sound like a fucking dude. You sound like a fucking dude. Did you order extra cheese? I got the cheese for you.

Speaker: It's kind of like the whole, you might not have been here for it, but the porn, but the, but the, uh, but the porn soundtracks that we did a while back. Yeah. You can probably do it way better than I could. Yeah. We did the whole sound. Marking the VR markings. Click into the VR.

Speaker: New idea for OnlyFans. OnlyFans back on the table. That's a disappointing VR. That's it? Right? Really? That's all? Cool. Hey, good game. Good game. Now, while back, Jeff and I were fucking Tony up. We were talking about the porn culture.

Speaker: You started it the wrong moment. Yeah, you literally said that. We were fucking like, dude, no, finish the fucking sentence. Jesus Christ. We got Tony all disappointed. Let's go on with the thing.

Speaker: no we had toady we had toady all discombobulated and whatnot because we were talking about the old porn soundtrack and the porn movies were so bad because that's usually how it went like hey did you order an extra large pizza with extra meat?

Speaker: to homie fans. And so he was like, I can't with you two. We kept coming up with all these different scenarios. And he was just so, he was so mad. He's like, you know, I know people who listen to this show. Yeah. Yeah. Anticipate Tony. Come on. All right.

Speaker: He's been awfully quiet in the chat of this box conference too lately. I ain't seen a single message from Tony in over an hour. He's working. He's working. Jeff is currently looking up. I'm trying to find a story that we can actually use.

Speaker: Yeah, Jeff was literally looking up a story. Like this goofy bastard really thinks I'm gonna read, like this goofy bastard really thinks I'm gonna read porn on TikTok. That's a great idea. I think if you, if you, you'd have to clean it up a little bit. Yeah, just change some of the words. Yeah, I mean, you'd be like, I smashed and said this on the iPhone. Why would you even say either of those things? It's we made love.

Speaker: Calm down, Nancy Drew. Oh, speaking of murder mysteries, Angela Lansbury died, gentlemen. Oh my god. No. Yes, Angela Lansbury died on the 10th. Mrs. Pops? Yeah, old murder she wrote herself. I love that show. I did too. I love that show.

Speaker: I like diagnosis murder too. The Dick Van Dyke show diagnosis murder. That was a good question. But yeah, it was a ridiculous concept because it was a show where the doctors at a at a hospital solved the murders. Oh, so I mean, speaking of most of them shows like that is like

Speaker: uh what was it uh the the show jag i don't know if you ever see that show okay the most inaccurate show about the military ever jack lawyer the jack i was like that way to completely just pull the e -brake on everything and and and start talking about tv shows is that but something that will be better than that conversation go ahead

Speaker: Not really an idea of mine. I'm kind of stealing it from the show I listened to. If anybody from that show may hear this, I'm telling you, I'm stealing it from you guys. We like to be competitive and I clearly just completely smoked and owned you guys in the starting five. Next year, next year in January,

Speaker: Or yeah, in January, this coming January and a couple of months, start doing your research. I want to do, and in the morning show I listened to, um, I love this about it because it's fun. I want to do a celebrity death poll. So, second, third week of January, we'll all pick celebrities.

Speaker: We'll do like a draft. We'll do like a draft and you get, you know, like, uh, you get one point like that. Yeah. Yeah. You get one, you get one point for the rate. So if they're 99, you only get a point like up to a hundred years. Okay. So, you know, if they're 40, you get 60 points. And then you can do like, uh, uh,

Speaker: but there's got to be something on the line for it. We got to put some money up or we got to put something on the line for it because that way, you know, like I said, I'm a hundred percent ripping off their idea. So my counsel show, if you hear this, yeah, I'm a hundred percent ripping off your idea. It is what it is. Don't touch me. So are we just saying that they're going to die by October or are they just going to die this year?

Speaker: by December. So we pick in January. That's what I'm saying. So like I'm saying, I think Dick Van Dyke's going to die sometime between January and December or December 21st or something like that. So then we keep track of it. And then we accumulate the points at the end of the year. Whoever wins is the champion. That'll be interesting.

Speaker: Well, that would be really crazy that could go really could what would be crazy if someone goes off and

Speaker: with a young actor or something just for shits and giggles. And then that actor dies. And then that actor dies. And then you feel bad about it. That's what I'm saying. Because we're kind of fucking morbid. And then you go around and like, I killed Chris Pine or some shit. Whatever. Well, Chris Pine isn't young, but. He's not old either. He's about, I don't know, about our age. He's about 40s. I think he's younger. Yeah.

Speaker: It's like 36. I don't know. He's got a lot of salt and pepper now. That doesn't mean shit. That one chick from Cobra Kai that plays Daniel's daughter, she's got gray hairs now. She's like 22. My sister's been dying her gray hair since she was like 15. Yeah. So you can't judge anything by salt and pepper.

Speaker: Anyways, I understand this. It'd be fun. It'd be interesting. It'd be interesting. Yeah. But I would be sad because I, I liked it. I feel bad. If I, well, I would feel bad. What are you physically going to fucking tell somebody? You are way too competitive. You'd be relishing in these people, these great,

Speaker: I'm with the actors dying. You'd be like, yes, Dick Van Dyke died. Ah! Take that, asshole. Me? I'm going to be like, no, Jeff! Jeff! Me? Jeff! Jeff's not competitive. Jeff is not competitive at all. I'm the least competitive person on the show. Win or lose? If you would be in it, you'd go in there. That's a sign of somebody who's been a loser their entire life. This is what's going to happen. I make this prediction. We're recording it. We do this.

Speaker: And then someone like Dick Van Dyke dies. And then, you know, blah, blah, blah, and then the broadcast come in. Welcome to non -sensical nonsense. I'm your host, Glick. And then we got Dick Van Dyke died. Yes! Right away. Can't even get through the intro. Jeff. Why would you think I would? Jeff is the least competitive person on the show. Yeah. As I said, that's the true side of a loser.

Speaker: He's never won anything. The only thing he's ever won in his life was the friendship. Why? Was the friendship championship when he made me his friend. Yeah, but that still makes me a loser. I'm the greatest friend anybody could ever. Shut your horn mouth. That's why you're my first ex -wife, you dirty bitch. I was gonna say he won his wife so clearly he won something. She's nothing compared to me.

Speaker: Wow Jeff wow I gave you your I gave you your opening. I'm up here and she's down here. She doesn't compare to me. Yeah she's down here. She used to be down here too.

Speaker: I gave you, I gave you your opening. You really think you're gonna sneak one by me, Jeff? How long we been doing this? Exactly. Not the show. I was waiting for you. I was waiting for you to catch that reference. Yeah, you really think you're gonna slip one past the goal here for your money?

Speaker: It's an interesting concept that that Deadpool I Mean considering all the stupid shit some of us do I

Speaker: the only one that all of us, you said you weren't going to bring that up. We were going to put each other on the death point. I mean, I literally went all fight over who picks you. Yeah, I do say it would probably have to be me as number one pick because I had four big bikes for lunch. And I called him for two years from now. And by default, as being the longest friend,

Speaker: the first ex, you know, you were my first ex -wife, you were my first mistake. By default, I automatically get to pick you. I'm just saying. And the fact that we have been in a conversation, in a video conversation with each other, and you're like, check out my table saw, and I'm like, you're gonna fucking kill yourself. I'm like, God damn thing. I haven't lost a finger yet.

Speaker: For those who don't know, a little visual of Jeffrey's table saw. It is a hand saw. It is a circular saw, flipped upside down. It is a circular saw, flipped upside down, bolted to a piece of plywood that the trigger doesn't work on anymore. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, I have to make a correction. With a locking trigger.

Speaker: No, no, no, no, no. Calm down. Calm down both of you. The only way you can turn it on and off is if it's sun is unplugging or plugging it in. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes. Don't lie. I've seen it. The table saw, the circular saw attached to the board is a perfect working circular saw. I have tied the trigger open. Okay. Either way, you still have to plug or unplug to turn it on or off. Only because I'm too lazy to put a switch on.

Speaker: It's got a, what did you have to count on your son? It's got electrical tape. Who has the attention span shorter than a goldfish? No shit. So when you're in, anything's only about a foot and a half off the ground. So nine times out of 10, when you're using it, you are bent over in your prison position. If you will, you know how Johnny's actually right. Yeah.

Speaker: And when you use said table saw, quote, unquote table saw, plug your ears, OSHA. You've already lost 20 employees since this conversation started. You are generally in flip -flops. I have not worn flip -flops for a year. So you are bent over in flip -flops, in wet grass.

Speaker: table saw, if you will, table saw at any moment the foot flop could break, your foot flop slides out from your foot, boom, you're down, your guts are all over, it looks like something on Texas ting salt massacre. Meanwhile, your son is watching the grass grow and going, dad, this grass is growing so fast. And you're just like,

Speaker: I mean, let's just be honest. I'm just saying Jeff is the sample for final destination. Again, your projects speak for yourself. Let's go ahead and dive down this rabbit hole. I'm in a video conversation with Jeff. He video calls me one night. He's redoing his kitchen and he's putting cabinets in.

Speaker: He screws his cabinet doors in with six inch screws and says. No, no, no, no, no, not the cabinet doors. It was the countertop. What? Countertop. And they're not six inch screws. They're two and a half. My ass are two and a half. I seen that screw. It was not two and a half. I only buy two and a half inch screws.

Speaker: Either way, Jeff is inside the cabinet with a grinder. Yeah, mind you. Only plywood sawdust piled up everywhere in his kitchen. He's under with a grinder sparks flying anywhere.

Speaker: And we're, and, and he's holding his phone with the other hand because we're video chatting. We're talking to each other on video. We've got grinder in one hand, video in this hand, 12 inch fucking screws, sawdust piled two and a half feet tall in his kitchen, plywood counters, and he's cutting his screws off because I like to buy the big ones. Oh, you know who's holding the plug and the cabinet door open so Jeff can get out? His son.

Speaker: Who keeps walking away? And I say, Jeff, aren't you worried about the kitchen catching on fire? He says, it's a concrete house. It'll be fine. There's a water hose right outside. I didn't say, I didn't say my methods are not madness.

Speaker: But my projects speak for themselves. You would never guess the way I built them. But you can dance. You two, both of you, Batboys, can stand on that countertop and it ain't going nowhere. I've seen your kitchen countertop and I don't and I don't agree with that. I don't think I could be drunk enough, honestly.

Speaker: I don't think I can agree with that statement either, Michael. Shall we? No, no, no. We're just keeping it on Jeff. We're not going to meet. We beat up Jeffery. Shall we beat up Michael? Last time we talked about this, we ended up being out of a relationship. Well, that's not what caused me that relationship.

Speaker: That relationship got killed. You go, Oh, I know. I know what killed the relations. Excuse me. I'm going to throw. God damn allergies, man. I'll tell you.

Speaker: I'm not going to do it. Stop. I'm not going to do it. I don't want to turn Mark on. I would never be drunk enough to dance on Jeffree's counter. Oh, really? I make the difference. genuine and I say differently, my friend.

Speaker: The only difference between me and a whole lot of other motherfuckers, I wasn't screen recording or recording you. I was just letting happen what happened. I didn't need any blackmail or any evidence or anything like that. There was seven or eight chicks screen recording it. So there's video proof out there. Oh yeah. Anyone with video proof, please send to nonsensical nonsense podcast at gmail .com so we can play it on the show.

Speaker: We do not need to put that on the podcast. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's going to be our new opening song. Actually, it's going to be our new opening video. Actually, I probably know exactly who has the video. I'm sure we could sync it up. We could sync it up pretty well to the intro for Nonsense but Nonsense. Instead of having the video we have, we could have Mike Hanson. Yeah. Any one of them.

Speaker: probably lose probably lose viewers but it'd be worth it. Time to time to time to uh reconnect if you will. No, I think if it's who I think she does not have that.

Speaker: I think it's one of a few people, but none of them are talking to me. I'm sure we can put something out on our TikTok or something out on our Facebook page. We could probably get it. You might need a, Missy might help you out. If you go to Missy J, she might help you out. She was the one.

Speaker: you might be realizing the object of the game is to try to not get fucked up on a show. Oh, my slave. It's literally like helping us blackmail you. Inside voice, inside voice. My slave, no. Don't get the video. No, don't do it. But here's the video. Don't look at the video. No. Don't use this USB. What I don't want you to do is go to the person that you think it is.

Speaker: I think it's I think it's one of a couple of people, but like I said, it doesn't matter because they none of them talking to me anymore, so.

Speaker: That's good. That means that video is dead. And we just gotta take your work. That's because I didn't ask you anything, you dirty whore. Chris just got a Snapchat. It's the video. Speaking of the devil. Let me download this real quick. Let me download this real quick. Well, that sounds exclusive. Let me paint you a picture, if you will. Hold on. Let me know if this is a big dog. It was a Saturday night.

Speaker: I was drinking surprise surprise right Mike joined me on alive and he was like was that one of those nights where you're like every time you make fun of me I'm gonna drink and I went oh you are getting fucked up

Speaker: Morgan Freeman popped up and this is when he this at this moment at that time. No, that's it wasn't one of those nights. You just you just I was drinking beer and you but you were drinking liquor and you're like, well, this is what the big boys drink and I was like, oh, and I go to do it. Oh, that's my bottle of Jim Bean. I was like, this stuff is you're like, I dare you to drink it without a chaser. Yeah. So so I was

Speaker: I remember that. It was peer pressure. It was 100 % peer pressure that he came under and he got hawking hammered. And the next thing I know, the next thing I know, I was annoying Chris for over 25 years is never

Speaker: Bow down to his peer pressure. Look, just drink pussy. Call me whatever you want. I'm not going to sit here and drink all fucking night. Cause I know I won't get any cause I'm getting yelled at. So it's, I got drunk. I got drunk. My God. That was the first time I've gotten drunk in, in four or five years.

Speaker: No, you weren't drunk. You were fucked up.

Speaker: Yeah, so I was I was yeah I was drinking beer and liquor that night, actually, and I and like I said I got drunk, I was drunk. Mike was walked up and he disappeared. I don't know what I don't know where he went but he came with he came back without a shirt on.

Speaker: So I started playing stripper music. And this motherfucker grabs a goddamn chair out of God knows where. I don't know where this chair came from. He's in a room by himself and he pulls out a chair from nowhere. He starts doing his best goddamn magic bike. So what do I do? Be in the mastermind that I am, the great one that I am? The genuine.

Speaker: What do I do? I start hyping the crowd up. Everybody who's watching. Everybody's swiping their bite. Ladies, keep our man cool and he's dancing for y 'all. Blah, blah, blah. I'm just acting up. This motherfucker for about a good hour is just doing it.

Speaker: No, no, no, we actually had a ton of viewers in there. And I was just like, like I went full on like DJ mode, like, oh ladies, let's give them some gifts, shower with gifts, let them know you love them. All right, what's my gonna do today? And I hit that genuine, and that motherfucker, this motherfucker was all on the chair and he's just like, yeah, take it easy.

Speaker: i'm dying because i was like horrified yeah i was rolling the whole time because i was like hey he said he wasn't gonna get drunk he's fucked up b i'm controlling this entire environment i have complete control and this is awesome

Speaker: And see, I don't think you've ever seen me like that. I don't think you've ever seen me. And we were getting gifts like crazy. But at the end of the day, regardless of what I may or may not have pure pressured him into, Mike was having a blast. He had so much fun that night. The next three days later when he finally woke up, he was like, I had a lot of fun last night on TikTok. I was like, that was three days ago. Three days ago. I just woke up.

Speaker: And all the times I've gone live with Chris never I am the master instigator Well, we just we I mean it wasn't

Speaker: The first time I drank on the show, I just called Chris Bitch a lot. It was hilarious. And I kept telling him to calm down, Chief. Calm down, Chief. How about calm down, Chief?

Speaker: It was random times. Like, it was a really nice warm day out there today. Calm down, Chief. Bitch. It's not like I was wrecked. I was just feeling good and tipsy. I was like, yeah. No, you were drunk. I was going to feed the whole crew. You were dead.

Speaker: you were you were not fucked up like I got Mike and it was funny because we were in the chat and like I was it I was still watching the chat Mike was just doing his own thing they're like and and people are like how the fuck are you still standing because you've been drinking and been on here way longer than Mike and I'm just continuing drinking I'm just like tolerance is built up and I'm just I'm just

Speaker: The reason why he was still standing was because he wasn't doing anything. I was doing a lot. It takes a lot of work to hype somebody up and be a good ball stripper DJ. From over a thousand miles away, no less. I was killed. I went back to my days of working in the strip clubs.

Speaker: And I was a bouncer. You said you did. You're on that fucking pole. No lie. Sunday fun day. Yeah.

Speaker: It's amateur night here in the house. It was a Tuesday afternoon. Just trip club, man! I'm here to work! I was a bouncer, but you know, I learned some stuff from our DJ, so I went full -on stripper DJ mode. And every god -dib stripper song that I could

Speaker: Fine. I was playing it and Mike was just basically everything. This was oblivious to everything. I played, I played Warren.

Speaker: and deaf, leopard, boreal, awesome, sugar, oh man. That's very high rockin' out.

Speaker: I don't know if cherry pie got played, but yeah, it got played. I dove into, I dove into the hairband. Cherry pie got played. Uh, deaf leopard got paid, played, uh, once bitten twice shy.

Speaker: Hopper teacher got played. Hopper teacher, Mike tried to, Mike tried to say the opening, the opening words. It just came out as shirtless. Mike just aired guitar to Hopper teacher.

Speaker: Anyone listening that has recorded footage of this, I will pay for it. Oh my God, I would love. I would love to have a video of it. I'm actually surprised Glick doesn't have it because it records it. Yeah, but TikTok only holds it for so long.

Speaker: yeah yeah you should and that's been that's that's been you know that's been well over a year ago because yeah we're a year and a half i think yeah it's it's you know it's it's actually i was either right before i first came on the show that was either right before i first came on the show or shortly after yeah i think it was shortly after because i think it was after you came on the show because you and i used to do a lot of tiktok videos

Speaker: our TikTok lives together when you first came on the show.

Speaker: Because we would do the show, and then we would one shot of tequila, and I'd start rubbing my nipples. I'd do what it takes to get. You got to calm down before I make it hail on you again, Connor. You know, it's not the first time I made it hail on that 60 days. That's what I do to get my quarter. On Saturdays, I used to bring a bag of change in, and Connor would dance for me, and I'd make it hail on me.

Speaker: I'd say, hey Connor. I'd walk into the office and I'd say, hey Connor, I don't know if you heard, but it's a hundred percent chance of a hailstorm today. Or today. And he'd be like, hey. We put the lotion on. I got the time if you got the time. Baby oil.

Speaker: Baby oil. Where's all the baby oil? So hands full of pennies at him at work the whole day. Do that funny thing where you snap pennies at him. He said there's snap pennies at him all night. Ah, God damn it, Glick that hit me in the eye. Stop dancing, monkey. Keep dancing. Dance for now. You don't stop the girl making time to wear safety glasses.

Speaker: They're going to make you wear safety glasses. They're going to make you wear safety glasses. They're going to make you wear safety glasses. They're going to make you wear safety glasses. They're going to make you wear safety glasses. They're going to make you wear safety glasses. They're going to make you wear safety glasses. They're going to make you wear safety glasses. They're going to make you wear safety glasses. They're going to make you wear safety glasses. They're going to make you wear safety glasses. They're going to make you wear safety glasses.

Speaker: That explains to you right there how smart I am because I've never gotten drunk with Lick. It's not smart, Jeffrey. That makes me the smartest man in the show. It's not smart, Jeffrey. It's experience. You know better. You've watched others. Exactly. Exactly. You have watched others. I have the intelligence to go, let's not repeat someone else's bad.

Speaker: Well, you know, you could say it that way or you could say it is because what I'm going to say is, yes, we're all laughing about it. And I am embarrassed as fuck about it. But you know what? That was a great night. That was a great night for me. That was a great night for me and my friend. And and we have we have brought up this story about seven or eight on the podcast.

Speaker: Yeah. And at the end of the day, it was a much needed night for you. It was all in fun. It was all, we were just having, there was nothing.

Speaker: There was nothing bad that went on. There was no malice or anything else. Mike needed a night where he could just cut loose and have fun. And we had an absolute ball that night. And how we did not get banned on TikTok, because I get banned on TikTok for simply drinking my apple juice. It's apple juice. See, that's what I don't understand. I did all of that, not a single ban. And then you and me have gone live after a podcast.

Speaker: You know, and you, you, you've got your live band, not go strike on your lives and all that stuff. I'm going to the light. And I would make it shake like it is. You just did a quarter shoot out of a booty at mocks. Mocks.

Speaker: I got moves. Connor has moves for days. I'm just saying. I'm not. You may or may not need speaking from experience. I don't know. I'm just saying. Connor's got skills with a Z skills. Yeah, I know.

Speaker: Yeah. Like I said, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, not so much smarter than everybody else. He's just witnessed. He's witnessed the greatness of quick or chicken shit. Plus he knows how stubborn it was. Plus he knows how stubborn I am just from the fact that like we used to do, and when we were in high school, we used to trade punches and, and, and, and, and we would go and we would have like body to body proxy matches.

Speaker: And we got to a point our junior year, we remind you, we were in class for two years. We got to a point our junior year where nobody would even look my way.

Speaker: because they knew that it was pointless because I had gone home multiple times with my arm looking like fucking a hamburger. And even though my arm looked like hamburger and it was all swallowed up, I could still hit just as hard from the first time that I hit you to the last time I hit you. And guys were like,

Speaker: I can't do this. And then when we go body to body boxing matches, I was a bulldog and I'm like, all right, go ahead. Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. And once they came in close, then I pinned them up against a wall and I locked her. Because I have no, I feel no pain. I like, I'm like, I'm like Ajax from, from Deadpool. No, your legs are nice of men. You just don't know anybody. Calm down. Look at the punnies, Jeffrey.

Speaker: You need to calm down, Chief. You need to calm down, Chief. Tell me about the rabbits. Tell me about the button rabbits, George. I watched that movie the other day, man. That fucking movie is heartbreaking. The book is heartbreaking, let alone the goddamn movie to visually watch it. Yeah. It destroys you. Oh, Gary Snesis looked that way. I was like, ah, man. You know what? You know what?

Speaker: Hold on a second. Oh no, Gary Sinise was... I have mad respect for Gary Sinise. I do too. Gary Sinise is amazing. Not just what he's done on... What kind of man he is. Lenny was played by... Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I was thinking of Gary Sinise.

Speaker: Gary Sinise was in CSI, New York. I love that guy. I was thinking of David Caruso from CS Miami, which he'll never live that shit down. It's like, we have a state body. Oh, yeah. I like this, though. What the fuck? He'd be like, I guess the body's burned. I guess he was fried.

Speaker: He made it a cliche. He made it a cliche. Did he also do NYPD Blue? Caruso? I thought he got his start on NYPD Blue. He's a little bit before my time.

Speaker: I think he wasn't in NYPD. I mean, I was alive. So we're like, I'm like alive, but I was I was it was before my time. Like I wasn't allowed to watch that show. Right. And that's why you're so dumb. John Belkovich. There I knew it was popping. Oh, that's. Yeah, he was in NYPD blue.

Speaker: Yeah, I just don't know that. No, but Gary sneeze, Gary sneeze is I literally cannot think of a movie or show he was in that was bad. Yes, Denise. Wasn't that Lieutenant Dan? That's Lieutenant Dan. Lieutenant Dan, you got magic legs. Yeah, Gary's sneezes. And then what he does for veterans and all that stuff, like bad respect.

Speaker: No, but as an actor, he's amazing. That is great. We were talking about embarrassing moments and clicks ways of persuasion and stuff like that. Sometimes you do things. Sometimes you walk into the park. Sometimes you learn how to afford it.

Speaker: You guys are ticks. I'm doing it! Must be a skin I'm sinking in Must be for real Cause now I can feel I didn't mind It's not my kind It's not my time To wonder why Everything alright

Speaker: everything's gray now you're here now you're awake don't want this i never did you realize i didn't realize that i had a rick flair woo yeah i heard it

Speaker: I never noticed that until just now. I was like, wow. I was just listening to it. And I was like, who the fuck just wounded my house? Oh, that was me.

Speaker: It was me. My wife loved when I sing that song in the car. Sing along. Hey, I'm Connor. He's like, I'm calmly slitting my wrist listening to that. Go ahead. Since you have no taste. Mind you, mind you, just a little, just a little love and a little shout out too.

Speaker: to, uh, Rock Lee. I wrote this song last night. Tell me what, I thought we had him singing on here too. How are you doing? I thought I knew too. I don't know. I mean, this is Rock Lee singing right here.

Speaker: I wrote this song last night. Tell me what you think.

Speaker: And I do have withdrawals No way not wrong These roads we cross Are taunting back in the end

Speaker: That's such a good song. I didn't love that fucking song. That is good. Yeah. I thought I did have the video of Rocky singing on the show.

Speaker: Sorry, I had to be done. I fell for that one.

Speaker: I admit that. I fucking developed for that one. No, it's wrong.

Speaker: You're like a small skinny version of Peter Griffin that takes the same joke and takes it too far. Is this your first time on the show? I feel like it. I mean, really? You're muted, Chris. You're muted, Chris. You're muted, Chris. He just did it, Tony. He just did it, Tony. I am the greatest all time, but I'm muted.

Speaker: You know what we should do? We should have him do this. And then somebody improv what he's really saying. It would be like Japanese. You motherfuckers! I don't know why I got muted. Yeah, no, I don't know why I got muted. But no, that's a joke that will never get old. You know, that's a joke that has no limit. It has no life effect. That's why I said he's like the smaller, he's like the wish version of Peter Griffin.

Speaker: Uh, by the way, Chris started that joke, not me. So, I, you know, I started actually, it's story time. It's story time. I'm not sensible nonsense tonight. We've told story stories about Michael. Fortunately, I have one for Tony because I have no stories to be told because again, history book.

Speaker: Lord Glick has spoken, looking down upon his peasants. No. So, and we've told this story out here before. No, Tony, back in the Haps days, Tony was live on a Haps one night with OG Classic. That's my boy. Shout out to OG Classic. Love that dude. And another gentleman and I can never remember who the other guy was.

Speaker: But they were talking about hip hop music, specifically hip hop music in the South. And when, when, when we were on half down, I met Tony. Yeah. And when we was on halves and I met Tony and after going live with Tony and hanging out with Tony and whatnot, one of my favorite things to do to Tony was when he was live, jumping to the check.

Speaker: and hit him with a pipe bomb. That would just, much like I do on the show live. I just hit him with something that just completely fucks him up and then walk away. So they were talking about rappers from the South, mainly the Atlanta area, and who was better, who was this, this and the other thing. And me being the smartest that I am, I pop in

Speaker: And I listened for a few minutes and I kind of get in the chat and I say a couple things and, and, uh, and, uh, then they're like greatest of all time. And I let them speak their mind and I go, clearly you guys don't know what the hell you're talking about because snow was the greatest rapper of all time.

Speaker: And I go to leave, like I waited, I got Tony's reaction, and I go to leave. And of course, Tony just absolutely disgusted, aggravated. If I was in the same room as him, he probably would have kicked me in the dick. And I go to leave and OG and the other guy and the other guy in there, they both go, well, you know, actually, speaking of white rappers, and it actually turned into a conversation. Meanwhile, the whole time, Tony D is going, this motherfucker, goddamn you,

Speaker: So I stay in the chat because we continue our conversation about white rappers. And Tony's just mad at me the whole damn time. So that's where the informer thing has come from and I'll randomly hit him with it.

Speaker: Well, a couple weeks back, he was just me and Tony on a Saturday night, and we got into the discussion about rap and this, that, and the other thing. And I went to go fry chicken, and I came back in. And right as I came back in, Tony was like, I'd be willing to say that Buster Rhimes is probably one of the best out there. He's severely underrated and doesn't get the love that he deserves. And he was like, I would challenge anybody to tell me differently.

Speaker: And I was just sitting down, and I was like, well, it's funny you say that because I think I know a rapper who would be better than that. And Tony goes, who, who, who? And I just walked him. I just walked him right into it. I set him up so good, just walked him right into it. And he was like, oh, really? Who, who? And I go, and four. I look boom, boom, down, and four.

Speaker: Tony's reaction. He walks off camera. Fuck you, Glick. Fuck you. The chatter's box loses their goddamn mind. Fuck you, Glick. Fuck you. You stupid son of a bitch. RIP, Tony. RIP chatter's box. Fuck everybody. I pulled the ultimate e -brim. He said, he said. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Speaker: It was the most, it was probably, in the words, in the words of the great Barney Stenson, and if you don't get this reference, shame on you, it was, legend. And wait for it, I hope you're not lack of methodology or dairy.

Speaker: It was the most perfect setup of all time. And Tony fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker. Go check out our TikTok and our Instagram at nonsensical nonsense if you want to see the video clip. Yes, it's there. It is there. I want the video like four or five times back to back. Tony's reaction is priceless.

Speaker: I still watch it. I'll still watch it now. And I laugh my ass off every time. Because this motherfucker was so goddamn serious. Busta Rhymes, the best out there, serious, underrated, blah, blah, blah. And he did the, and I challenge anybody to tell me. That's how you do it.

Speaker: Oh, it's hilarious. Fuck you, Glick. That was the best. That was the absolute best. I got that. The chatter's box was mad at me. Random Rick, Golf Hawk. I don't know who all was in there, but they were all, fuck you, Glick. Fuck you, Glick. How many times has Random Rick unsubscribed to you? That's a good question. I think everybody unsubscribed to me that night. They put me in timeout.

Speaker: Cuz he don't describe you tonight Good times

Speaker: good times we just need to have a good story with jeff i mean if you do anything that's that's not been way too far into the past i've got stories for days for jeff

Speaker: like the day he picked up a cinder block when our friend bob was gonna feed his ass and he was like come on you motherfucker you want to you want to fucking fight me you son of a bitch bob stepped back real quick didn't he

Speaker: it was a cinder block but in all actuality, it was a

Speaker: This **** was funny. This **** was funny. This **** was funny on so many reasons but the funniest part about it was high, how high, how high Jeff's voice went. I was pissed. When he was when he was yelling at him. I'll push you over your god damn head. You mother **** You're like the whole way. Caprano. Can we go down to an

Speaker: Preferably, I need you as a baritone. We're not singing for the all -girls choir. Who are you calling to y 'all? I don't bully Tony at all. I don't bully the shit out of Tony. Well... I can't wait till he's here.

Speaker: I'm an equal opportunity bully. Everybody who comes on the show gets bullied. The only one that doesn't bully himself. Yeah, he does that after the show. Yeah, that doesn't mean he doesn't beat himself up, but he doesn't bully himself either. I bully myself in the privacy of my own venture.

Speaker: oh that was that was part one i mean have you ever yeah i know how it's humor

Speaker: Oh yeah, they do all that stuff. Yeah, they're great. Christian Bale was the best thing that ever happened to Batman. So much comedy came out of Christian Bale. Oh my man, shut up.

Speaker: You're an asshole. I think I found him. Do you want to know my secret identity? Shut up, Batman. We all know who it is. What did you found, Jeffrey? No, I'm trying to find a replacement for the Indiana Jones color one. I saw a video of this kid, like, this lady is...

Speaker: talking in the foreground about safety around this windmill and this kid walks right into the windmill gets smacked and like goes four feet in air. It's hilarious. It would be so much better than the Anna Jones one because it's, you know, fresh. I got, I thought I found it but I didn't.

Speaker: We're waiting impatiently for you Jeffrey to find Shit the show is starting to feel like it's going on forever now, you know trying not to Try not to have dead air. Mr. Dead air

Speaker: I'm not going to find it anytime soon. Waiting for Con Air to take over. Because I got to find out actually if it's... Put the bunny down. Oh my god. Put the bunny down. Why couldn't he just put the bunny? Okay, here's a comparison. When was the last time y 'all seen a tetherball accident? What did he say about the cage?

Speaker: Nick Cage, Forrest Gump. Nick Cage, Con Air, Forrest Gump. Basically the same person, right? Wait, what? It's like Nick Cage and Con Air is Forrest Gump with Karate List. I know where it is, grandma. You think I'm an idiot and this is why no one loves you. Why do you do that? Right? No. No. Yeah. This is a trick. It was a trick. Like if Forrest Gump attended Cobra Kai, he would have been Nick Cage and Con Air. Yeah.

Speaker: You were going to talk about this. That's a stress. No, it's not. Also, connection. Forrest Gump, Bubba, Con Air. The guy who needed the insulin. Same guy, yeah. Same actor. If Forrest Gump grew a mullet and joined Cobra Kai, he would have been Nicholas Cage and Con Air. It's a brand new fan theory for you.

Speaker: You're welcome. I like it. Jeff can never agree with me. No, no. If you said something correct, if you said something correct and agreeable, I would agree. But I don't agree. It's accurate. That's all I got to say about that. Put the money down. Same shit. I don't want to go home.

Speaker: uh i'm already tired i think i'll go home now he just wants to disagree that's why i that's why i just something fit me in my butt i should have i should have stayed married to just beat his ass on a more regular basis that's what he needed he needed some good spousal abuse to teach him

Speaker: Let's just be honest Jeff is the token reason why you know, you should never stop spanking your kids Jeff Jeff is the poster child of abortion Why it should be legalized

Speaker: He's not even listening to his wife. His wife is like, so honey, I was thinking, do you want to go to California? I got two options. We can make you a girl or we can abort you.

Speaker: What do you think? Jeff's just 41 and his mom's still looking up abortion on the on the old Google box. What are the laws? How late is too late for abortion? Crap, it's only three months here, but let's go look in California. Oh, look. Oh, damn. Eighteen. Shit. In Mexico, you can abort the child at any time in their life. Anyway, going to Mexico.

Speaker: Connor said I'm going to get a bumper sticker for my minivan that says birth control prevents things. Sponsored by Dodge.

Speaker: Huh? Who tries to dodge? I'm one of the Fort Chevys. I don't know who tries to dodge. Two words. Katie! You know who drives the fort? You know who drives the fort?

Speaker: You know who drives a Ford? I don't know what to say. I was going to say guys who say, yes, Daddy. Well, Jackie, you're getting a Ford, aren't you? He's got a goddamn Fiat. No, I'm getting an Italian sports car. There's a difference.

Speaker: You're like you get you're getting the mini Cooper that's actually smaller than the mini Cooper again again Jeffrey. You're getting a Fiat. I have two words for you.

Speaker: And you're not even giving your wife's getting it. Exactly. It's not even for me. He's getting the vehicle that when he drives down the street, they go, oh, that's cute. I think because it's so tiny. It's not for me. So it's a big car for him. You know what? He won't need to sit. He's probably getting tired of having to sit on all those phone books.

Speaker: Jeff's the only guy who will buy a mini, Jeff's the only guy that'll buy a mini Cooper and go, Hey, check out this big ass SUV I just bought. All wheel drive. It was in the Italian job. It's a sports car. You sounded just like Jeff. I know.

Speaker: You sounded just like Jeff when he did that. Jeff, I love you. Like spot on and spot on. A car is not for me. As I've stated multiple times. Jeff, I love you. That look, that look says that it is. You go, hey, that car is not for me. No, that look, that look was shut the fuck up, you asshole. Quit telling all my secrets. I told you that in confidence.

Speaker: Michael, how many branded cars do you own? That's what I thought. I don't know. Let me ask your mom. She wouldn't give you the time of the game. Did you ask him how many cars he's bought? Brand new. That are fully paid off. Because that's what I'm doing. I'm paying it off all in one payment. 100%. Well, Fiat only cost 75 cents.

Speaker: It's kind of like a Kia. It's kind of like, you know, the weird flex about buying a Fiat is the same weird flex when somebody buys a Kia and it's like $1 .50? Agreed. Kia's are goofy. Although the Kia springs, what is it? What is it? Kia, you know what? I'm going to give you a bit of credit. Kia's got this sprinter? They got that sprinter. I'm going to give you a little bit of credit.

Speaker: That all -wheel drive twin turbo badass. That thing's cool. Yeah, I'm going to give Kia a little bit of credit here. They have a quote unquote sports car that just came out a couple years ago. Yeah. And they have an SUV. Yep. Pretty fucking sure. That SUV looks nice. I bought one brand new for $2. The only problem I have with their SUVs, the only problem with their SUV, it's like a 1 .3 lever.

Speaker: That's what I use. That's the size of the starter on the truck. What truck is that Jeff? It's a brand new 1958. No, I'm buying a, I found a 96 Chevy Dooley, uh, four door fully loaded, fully restored.

Speaker: Oh my god, you're that guy. I already knew you're that guy. Yeah, he's that guy. Are you jacking up? No. I'm not gonna touch it. I'm gonna leave it stock. I'll put different rims on it, but only because the stock rims are... What rims are you putting on? Spinners? No. Okay. What part of me says I would put spinners on a vehicle, Michael?

Speaker: fact that you have a Mitsubishi Eclipse and you want to turn it into the car from Fast and the Furious that says you put spinners on the dually. I'm putting factory chrome rims. They're factory style chrome rims. The ones that are on it are steel and painted. You're not going to put the rims at the Florida Georgia line boys put on their trucks?

Speaker: Michael. We've had this conversation. We had it on Monday. Yeah, we've already all had this conversation. Hashtag. Hashtag. I don't know why I said hashtag. Michael, fun fact about Jeffrey. You can suck the chrome off of research. Jealous? What about a... I have a t -shirt.

Speaker: Hey, Jeffrey. I don't think you want to be proud of that. Kind of messing up your camera. Jeffrey was the first person to experience a good game. Conclude yourself up, you dirty whore. What about a golf ball through a garden hose? Well, I heard it the other day.

Speaker: I heard the other day Mike can suck start a Harley. That's impressive because nine times out of 10 a Harley won't start. Exactly. No, let me see if I can find it. I'll show you the truck I'm doing. You've been looking for something for the last 10 minutes. No, I was looking for those windmill things.

Speaker: I mean, we're, I mean, it's by the time we're going to be closing out the show and like, I found it. Just wait one more second. Lights are going to be in turns off. You know, shows over with the after parties over with Jeff's going to, you look up and go, like, I found it and only one still here. Jeff's going to end up like me and the guys from Rumspring are a couple of weeks ago when the bar was like,

Speaker: Look, you guys don't have to leave, but we want to go home. So get the fuck out. Just meanwhile, he's like, I'm still looking at him. Hey, guys, I finally found out. Where did everybody go? Where the fuck did everybody go? It's all we've been 10 minutes. Then you look at the clock, and it's midnight. We've been off the air and gone for three hours.

Speaker: Wow. That's really pretty. Oh, I like that. I like that. I like that body style. That's the body style. That's that's like, I know, I know it's a 96 and all, but that's my, that's one of my dream body styles. I got a 96 Chevy blazer. I'm actually, I'm actually going to fab some, um, military bumpers and put it on there. I, um, I, uh, Ford and Chevy.

Speaker: And the mid like, but yeah, see the, see the rims on that. They're, they're stock and the factory steals. I'm putting the factory groans. Now, uh, Ford and Chevy both had, uh, in the nineties. Well, I'm just going to, I'm just going to go ahead and encompass the entire nineties. I like the body styles on both Ford and Chevy. Uh,

Speaker: Do you remember the red Ford Lightning in Fast and Furious? That is one of the sexiest fucking Fords ever made. No, I really don't. I remember the Charger. I remember the Dodge in Fast and the Furious. That was a challenger. Or whatever it was. Right? Jeff, that was a challenger. I thought that was a challenger.

Speaker: You're talking about Dom's car and the first half years? Yeah, that's a challenge. Yeah, that was a challenge. I thought it was like a, what, a 72, something? It was a 70. It's a 70. 70. Yeah. Dukes of Hazzard drove a 69. Dom drove a 70. Yep. And I thought Dukes of Hazzard drove a 67 in Bala. AKA Dukes of Hazzard, they used 68s and 69s.

Speaker: Yeah, they used 68. Yeah, yeah. The difference between the two, the difference between the two of the chargers. Why would she say that? The 69 has a pointed grill. It's got a, it's got like a triangle on the front. Yeah. Well, there's 68. And Dean Winchester drove a 67 Impala, AKA baby. Sexiest car with the sexiest driver. You know what I keep noticing every time I watch the opening credits? Why the fuck is the headlight out?

Speaker: In the opening credits of Supernatural. Have you heard the new spin -off show? I did. I saw that. I want to watch it. Supernatural. Of Supernatural. They're doing the Winchester's. And it's their mom and dad when they first met and started and stuff. When they first met and their dad started hunting. But who? Gentlemen. It's about that time. It's been a fun night. It's been a really fun night.

Speaker: Hopefully, it's been a good show. Our listeners enjoyed the show tonight. We had fun, a little bit off of rails. It's been a minute since we got off of rails, but, uh, went a little long. Hopefully you guys enjoyed the show. Oh yeah. What the hell is that? That's, that's, that's a lightning. Yeah, this one's not a lightning, but that's the same body style in the, in the bed of the truck.

Speaker: Yeah. I didn't know what the one from Fast and Furious looks like. Yeah, it looks like that. Only the one in Fast and Furious is a single cut and red. Yeah. All right. Anywho. Now, we do appreciate y 'all listening. We appreciate y 'all hanging out. Hopefully you enjoyed the show. We had fun tonight. You know, we were kind of off on rails, kind of. Yeah, would it be nonsensical nonsense if we weren't crazy? We're all over the place. We will be back Saturday night.

Speaker: with a brand new episode. Make sure you guys join us on YouTube and Twitch at 6 PM. And in the meantime, not buddy. Okay. See you in the morning. In the meantime, make sure you join us or join us. Follow us on all social media, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, tick tock. As I said, you can join us live on YouTube and Twitch Monday, Wednesdays and Saturdays at 6 PM.

Speaker: And if you can't join us live, check out all the episodes on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts that all at nonsensical nonsense. Go show us some love, give us a follow, give us a like. And if you like what you hear, don't forget to share it. Tell your friends and all that fun jazz about us, help us grow. We greatly appreciate that. And with that being said, man in the box or hunger strike.

Speaker: Man in the box. All right, we're going blacktop mojo with their cover

Speaker: of Alice in Chains, Man in the Box. Go get a show. Words are hard. Go show Goddamn. Go show Blacktop Moves. Go show Blacktop Moves with some love on all social media and wherever you stream music at Blacktop. Absolutely.

Speaker: Let them know we sent you. Give the guys all the love. They absolutely deserve it. And this is their cover of Allison chains, man and a box above Alex. Why is the man in the box? Why is he in the box? I don't know.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Speaker: I say I can fly I can fly I can fly

Speaker: I'm free

Speaker: And I, I, I need the time And I, I, I need the time And I need the time

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. They're the black top mojo to enter show. We appreciate y 'all hanging out. We appreciate y 'all listening. We appreciate you getting in the chatters box, getting in our ears. Hopefully you guys enjoyed the show. We will be back Saturday night with a brand new episode of non -sensical nonsense.

Speaker: Like I said before, make sure you give us a following on them, social medias, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Don't forget to join us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday on YouTube and Twitch at 6 p .m. And if you can't join us live, don't you worry about a thing, because you can catch all the episodes on Spotify and basically everywhere you'll see the podcast at all, at nonsensical nonsense. You know the drill, give us a follow, give us a like, give us a listen.

Speaker: And don't forget, give us a share. We'll see you Saturday night, same nonsensical time, same nonsensical channel. What do you have to say to the people? What do you have to say to them? I have a new one. May the worst parts of your past be the best parts of your future.

Speaker: That's not your line. Say your goddamn line. I think that's my little line. Everybody else gets a long thing. First and foremost, I don't have a long thing. Second of all... Quit telling stories. Get your body out of the gutter! Okay, you got your long thing. But say what the people want to hear after you say your long thing.

Speaker: Deuces that's what I'm talking about Michael. Let him know one time Oh

Speaker: But I'm just rewinding. You're rewinding. You're rewinding. You're rewinding. You're rewinding. You're rewinding. Let him know one time.

Speaker: and the words of Tony D outweigh the need for the few or the one. Peace out. Jesus Christ. And the words of Tony D if he was here and I say Tony D you let these some bitches know he would say mother had you mother made you

Speaker: And with that being said, be good or be good at it. There he is. There's my man. Hey boys, look what I got here. Hey, where are the white women at?

Speaker: And the words of Lord Glick, the goat, the champ, if you will, be good or be good at it. Goodbye, motherfuckers. I don't know what to do next, Jeffrey. Hit the button, Glick! Hit the button. What's in the box? What's in the box?